Muse

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Let me tell you guys a story that's funny.

So I just saw this. A woman says her date disappears from the restaurant later to find him butt naked in his car. So she took to TikTok to reveal a strange story about a date that she had ended in a weird way where she said that her Tinder date left for 20 minutes while she was waiting at the table, claiming that he had left his wallet in the car. So she thought that he was just ghosting her and leaving her at the table. She goes out to the car only to find him butt-ass naked with an erection in the car. She didn't wait around for an explanation and she just took off.

I mean, why would you wait around?

Right. I don't need an explanation. I need an exit strategy.

But don't you want to know if he found his wallet?

I'm guessing he wasn't looking for his wallet.

Who does that? By the way, are guys this bad?

So I lived with two girls in college, and one of them told me a similar story that she went out after the restaurant. He said, I'll go get the car, warm it up, because it was like wintertime. She came out. He was completely naked. Turns out he was a chronic masturbator. Like, the dude was, like, addicted to it. He molested himself, like, 20 times a day. And after having a date with her, he went out to relieve himself.

Do not call it that, please.

It's just I'm trying to figure out a way to say it that's, you know, not vulgar. That was not it. Okay. That was not it. But imagine, like, she goes out to get in the car, and he has no pants on, and he's touching himself. And she's like, oh, oh. And he says, no, this is the right car. And she's like, no, it's not. No, it's not. Bye-bye. And she never saw him again.

has anybody ever been out on a date where the date just took off like this like literally left in the middle of the date only to find out that the guy or the girl left to do something really

weird yeah well no i have not i have not but while we're waiting to get calls yeah we had this issue with a listener and i'm not gonna say who it was you guys remember i was doing an appearance at a local restaurant oh yeah and this guy was there and was you know super chatty with everybody and then went to the bathroom and the bathroom staff found him in there completely

butt naked this was bad it was really bad yeah and he used to show up at all all the events

yeah and then he was banned from that particular place but that didn't stop him from showing up at

other events oh we also had to remove a few times because he would he liked to smell shannon's hair

which is frowned upon has any by the way has anybody heard from uh the bathroom masturbator

no i have not heard from him i know he relocated to a different state a long time i know i think they keep and i think it's florida and i have to be honest with you i didn't want to say it but that's a very play that's a very it's a big play good place for him to be but the reason why i say

that is i go down to visit joe and jed and ashley all the time i keep thinking to myself i'm gonna

bump into him in a bathroom probably you're gonna feel somebody sniffing your hair that's it he didn't

he didn't like my hair as much as your he was there was something about your shampoo compared to the rest of our shampoos what's up uh nikki yeah i'm kind of embarrassed

I love you, Shannon, and Spike. Let me just get that out. Thank you.

Thank you. We love you.

Love you. I went to a school, a big university in Michigan, and there was this really fine guy that I just had to get to know better. I live in an apartment building at a certain campus, and I didn't know this guy had a reputation. But come to find out, this guy was nicknamed Cowboy. and the reason why he was called towel boy is whenever he got to that point of intimacy he had a towel in his pocket and he would whip it out i didn't know that that was his mo so after i was freaked out about him having this towel in his pocket i spoke to another person that knew him she's like oh you didn't know he's known as towel boy he had that towel everywhere

Oh boy He just keeps the towel in his pocket Yes

That terrified me So I saw meeting random people from that point But that was a Michigan school

People are very interesting

Well I'll tell you I've heard this story From so many women They go on a date and then they go to the bathroom And come out and the guy's completely naked Sitting there

Thinking that he's going to get laid

Yeah like she says can I use the bathroom And he somehow takes it as a signal That, oh, something's going to happen And they walk out of the bathroom And the dude's completely naked

Mojo, Dirty John

This happened on the show, Dirty John

Dirty John's the TV show that was on

Oh, I thought it was a friend of ours

No, not Dirty John Oh yeah, Dirty John Oh yeah, yeah Hannah Hi

So I went on a date with a friend of a friend A couple years ago And, you know, it was going alright but when we were sitting down eating dinner he got a call and he said oh just it'll just be one second he answered it and it was his friends asking him if he wanted to come play dungeons and dragons and he said yeah i'll be there i could probably be there in like 15 20 minutes okay he was cutting your date short to go play dungeon yes yeah and so and he even had the audacity to ask for a second date later but i was like i don't think so that's when that's when you

know your love life is bad when the guy leaves you in the middle of the day to go play dungeons and dragons um shelly what's up hi how's it going good what's going on so i went on a couple dates

with a guy who kept leaving the table because he was addicted to eating his boogers oh my gosh

He couldn't even go through a date Without doing it

Listen, I thought I caught him many times But I gave him the benefit of the doubt And then finally I said Are you eating your boogers?

And he yelled at me and said no

He yelled and said no And then he came back and he said Shelly, I have something to admit to you I've been addicted to eating my boogers That is disgusting

I'm literally going to do that You know, they always say The three questions you should ask a date What do you do for a living? Do you have any siblings? And do you eat your boogers?

Wow. That's awesome. Thank you for the call.

We got tired of being single and broke, so we turned things around. Now we're broke and single. This is Mojo in the Morning.

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