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Mojo in the morning show. Good to be back. Got second date update coming up. Shannon's dirty. Five Lies to Tell Your Mom, War of the Roses, Throwback Throwdown, and more good to have you listening to the Mojo in the Morning Show. Mojo, Shannon, Megan, Mike, KP, Lydia. You know, I was away last week, and I saw the post, Mike. I saw that you are getting ready for this vasectomy. so baby number three is about to come and it was exactly the same for me where baby number three and the vasectomy came out because i think it was such a surprise that we were having a third but um you did something very interesting that i've never known that doctors could ever do

you did a virtual appointment for a vasectomy yeah so it was like the consulting of of uh before the appointment the consultant appointment and it was the consultation that's what it's called and so I thought you had to like during consultations they would go through and check everything to make sure that you're able to to do this like I thought they would have to look at things and observe things and I knew there would be questions but so I had no idea what to expect going into this and it's all over zoom so I'm freaking out I'm panicking the whole time i'm like preparing myself i shaved i trimmed things up because i'm like i'm gonna have to show this person my junk over video and i wanted to present it correctly and so then i get a text the day of and it says it's an hour before i thought it was and to please check in in the next 10 minutes and i'm at planet fitness at the time so i'm like what the hell am i gonna do So I had to go sit in my car at Planet Fitness as we're starting this meeting, again, preparing myself to whip out my stuff in the middle of a parking lot. I'm like, I'm going to get in trouble. I don't know what I'm going to do here. So she comes on, and she's like, hey, you know, we just want to make sure you're okay to do this. We're going to ask you a few questions. And I'm like, hey, I just want to let you know I'm in the middle of a Planet Fitness parking lot right now. so i don't know if i have to show you stuff but i feel like you might just have to uh just uh go with it and just say that i you know that i'm okay to do this she's like why would you have to show me stuff and i'm like well because you're gonna you're gonna need to see that i'm able to do this she goes did you have kids i go yeah she goes do you want to have kids anymore i go no she goes yeah you're okay you can do this then that was gonna be my question yeah by the way

I like that you were so focused on that you were going to show stuff that you put the time. next to the time that you were going to Planet Fitness. So instead of actually being home in a private area of your house, you actually were in a Planet Fitness parking lot and were going to Zoom call or whatever it is, telehealth or whatever, in the parking lot of a business.

Well, it wasn't supposed to be that. I thought I had an hour still. It was an hour earlier than I thought the thing was. So were you going to go home to a quiet place? Yes. Yeah, yeah. That was the plan. But then I figured I'd be a little pumped up too, you know, so if I had to show stuff off, I just would.

I just love that you prepped your balls for this telehealth meeting.

I brought spray and everything, even though you can't smell. Because they can smell over telehealth.

Question for you. Did you practice ahead of time to make sure that they looked okay? Did you? So you actually put your phone up there and kind of like look?

I don't know if you can see me right now in the video right now, but I put my leg up on a chair with a mirror. Oh, my God. With a mirror so that I could see the angle because I wanted to make sure there weren't long hairs or whatever. I wanted to make sure the lighting was – I did it in the bathroom, and I have the adjuster thing on my lights. I adjusted the lights in the bathroom so that I could have the correct lighting.

You had your selfie light all ready to go?

Absolutely.

And then I got thrown off because I had to do it in a parking lot.

Yeah.

Oh, great. I do love that you succumbed to the preparation. You now know what it's like to go to the gynecologist every single year. Exactly. What females have to deal with when we have to go for our pap smear.

But they don't do those type of appointments, though, over –

No, I'm saying you have to do them in person, but you still want to be nice down there.

Has anybody ever had to do a weird Zoom telehealth or whatever they call it appointment? Because now these appointments, it's funny because now when you'll make an appointment with a doctor, the doctors will go, yeah, we can see you on June the 24th of 2029, or we can do a telehealth call on Tuesday.

Yeah.

And so they'll do this thing. But I'm wondering, there are certain things that they can't do, right? They can't actually, you know, I don't know how you accomplish what Mike was having done over telehealth if they did need to see your private parts at that time.

Because you can send doctors pictures and stuff. So I assume that's what they were going to do. It was just like a quick peek. You know, I was going to hold it like a grape. Or not a grape.

Learning a lot about your anatomy this morning.

Although, honestly, your testicles, I don't know if you want them to be like, you don't want them to be another fruit. I don't know. They're going to be grapes here shortly once they do the procedures. Right. Exactly. I will never forget, by the way, when I went in to go get my vasectomy and the doctor said, wow, you must be cold. Thank you, Dr. Priscilla.

Then we posted the picture on the Mojo in the Morning Instagram, and people have been sending me pictures of their procedures when they got it done and how it went wrong. So I've been getting ball pictures all weekend long. Yes. What went wrong? Like they had like inflamed testicles? Yeah. So if you go right back to work, which this was a humbling question I got from the doctor. She goes, what do you do for a living? I was like, I just work. I work in radio. And she goes, oh, so you don't lift heavy things then? He said, no, I don't. You can't do that. And so people keep sending me pictures of them after they lifted heavy things and their balls all engorged. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God.

Yeah, you have to be really careful and you have to rest. You definitely have to, like, you know, lay down for, like, a couple, three days. A lot of people will use frozen peas and put those on their private parts and stuff. Mike, you need to milk this for everything you got. Shelly, what's going on?

Hi. Well, my cousin's a little crazy and she's always complaining about having bowel issues. So she's gone to see, you know, a lot of doctors. And the couple tests that she's had to have was called a defecating proctogram.

Okay.

And what it is is basically you sit on a toilet and there's a camera in there and the doctors watch you poop. No. No. I have never heard of it.

No.

I'd rather suffer. No. They put something in your bowel, like, you know, to the highlight, like, if you have any colds or whatever, and then they watch you poop. No. No. No, absolutely not.

That, by the way, would be the most humiliating thing ever, wouldn't it?

I would imagine so. I will never do it, so you don't have to worry about that.

Oh, my gosh. And then what do you do after they watch you do that? Do they actually want to see?

They watch the footage, and then they go back and they see how you pooped to see if you had any holes in your bowel. It's kind of fascinating.

Okay.

Yeah, but why wouldn't they just make you swallow that camera pill? This seems weird. I think she was lied to. No, no. I've been in a medical field for 36 years. Defecating.

procter gram look it up defecating procter gram all right thank you for the call shelly what's up

chris good morning guys good morning we love you too buddy thank you we love you too so i i recently had a uh uh it was during a snowstorm and my doctor i had a physical and he uh uh chose to do it via video and um i joked with him i said well you know who's gonna cut my my junk when uh when You told me to turn my head and cough. We're doing it on video.

And what did the doctor say?

Oh, he got it last. He's getting great.

Any advice that you can give, Mike, before he does his vasectomy? No. No? Not at all?

I've never had one. Oh, you never did.

Okay. All right.

I'm 62 years old now, so no.

Yes. Nobody's touching your private parts.

Not darn right, except the white.

Yeah. You know, what's funny is that I've gone to the doctor before and done the, you know, the turn your head and cough thing and all that, like the physical stuff. And they've asked if the people that were training in their office could be in there at the time that they were doing it.

Yeah.

It's like never the, you know, hey, he's checking my temperature type thing. It's like, well, it's that one right there. I'm like, I don't know if I'd necessarily want to know that there's a bunch of med students. There's somebody that's here watching. Michaela, what's up?

hello hello michaela so my husband had a vasectomy and two days afterwards he had volunteered to play spider-man uh for my nephew's birthday oh geez and my whole family got to see a swollen mole oh no oh because the outfit yes we have pictures it was great should he have been

that active two days after his vasectomy absolutely not but he was so you're hard to hold down you're recommending that mike then don't wear his uh superhero costume right afterwards probably not all right any any any advice that you can give mike all the peas yes the frozen ones yes isn't it funny how frozen peas are like probably sold more for people who go get vasectomies than anybody that uses them to eat right absolutely and has anybody ever used frozen peas for their you know husband or boyfriend's uh junk and then cook them afterwards because you can't let it you can't let it go to waste all right well yeah they were smushed yeah thank you thank you for the call

A vasectomy's a medical procedure One that makes you half a man You're half a man Remember when you twisted up your garden hose Well, essentially that is the plan That is the plan Goodbye Say goodbye to manhood Say goodbye to babies. Say goodbye to kids like Meg. Vacuum out your sack.

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