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What Would Keep You Locked Out of Heaven?
Mojo In The Morning

What Would Keep You Locked Out of Heaven?

from Mojo In The Morning

April 11, 2025 | 00:09:59 | Leisure

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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:27 | Speaker 2:

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00:00:30 - 00:00:58 | Speaker 3:

Hey guys, Bobby Bones here, host of The Bobby Bones Show. I'm always tired because I wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, but it's all worth it because I get to hang out with all my friends and my studio. We share our lives. We look for as much good in the world as we possibly can with Tell Me Something Good, and we talk through the biggest news stories of the day, and also your biggest and favorite country artists are always stopping by. On the Gulf Coast, check us out on 95KSJ, and lock us in as a preset on the free iHeartRadio app today.

00:00:58 - 00:03:19 | Speaker 4:

uh all right uh oh here's what we're going to be doing so we are going to do a uh a contest kind of a little contest i don't even know what the prize is going to be the prize the prize might be a mystery prize for you could be what is in my pocket to a pair of tickets to go see like the tigers play or something like that because I want the best ones. I want you to call us up, and the simple question is, what have you done that you know is going to keep you out of heaven? What have you done that you know is going to keep you out of heaven? This morning, if you confess to it, I know a guy that can get you into heaven. I'll buy it on StubHub. All right, it's Mojo in the Morning Show. What is it that you've done that you think will keep you out of heaven? This is our Mojo in the Morning confessional. And boy, I'm telling you what. I'm looking at some of these right now. I don't even know if I can get you into heaven after some of these things. But I'm the Pope this morning, and I'm going to get you in heaven today, okay? Corey, what have you done that will keep you out of heaven? Best one's going to win whatever's in my right pocket. I get high and go to church every Sunday. Oh, you do? Really? You go to church high? You are high as a f***ing kite. You know what? I don't know if God's upset with that. As long as you're attending, I think that's fine. Is church high better? I enjoy it. He don't know any other way. I love it. All right. Well, I do feel like he's talking to me every time I'm in there. Everything is focused toward me. You know what? That's good. I'm sure he is. All right. Hang on one second. That's a good one. Yeah. Let's go to T next for the next confession. Okay. So T is next. Voice disguise T. T?

00:03:21 - 00:03:21 | Speaker 1:

Hi.

00:03:22 - 00:03:23 | Speaker 4:

Hi. T?

00:03:23 - 00:03:36 | Speaker 1:

I work in a nursing home, and a quadriplegic would give me $50 to do hand stuff.

00:03:37 - 00:03:51 | Speaker 4:

Oh. You know it's my birthday. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Wait a second. So you had a quadriplegic patient in a nursing home that you were nursing, and he would pay you $50 to take care of things?

00:03:52 - 00:03:56 | Speaker 2:

Yes. You know what? Poor guy. You should have just done it for free.

00:03:58 - 00:03:58 | Speaker 1:

No.

00:03:59 - 00:04:07 | Speaker 4:

That is mean, Shannon. This is, you know, God would be fine with you at least making money. How much do you think you made?

00:04:08 - 00:04:10 | Speaker 1:

I did it quite often.

00:04:10 - 00:04:16 | Speaker 4:

You know what? I mean, but do you feel like, did you feel like you were doing God's work by doing this for him?

00:04:16 - 00:04:22 | Speaker 2:

Did you say you wrote it off on your taxes? No, I didn't. Oh, my God. I said I should have.

00:04:22 - 00:04:46 | Speaker 4:

Oh, my God. All right. Well, that's an interesting one, too. Hold on one second. These are all pretty good. Those hands just aren't for praying. Hey, come on. All right. What is it that you've done that will keep you out of heaven? Let's go to Ryan next. Hi, Ryan. Hey, hey, hey. What's up? I need your help, Pope. Yes, go ahead. I'm right here. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Go ahead, son.

00:04:46 - 00:04:48 | Speaker 3:

Well, happy birthday, Kev, first. Free sanity.

00:04:49 - 00:04:49 | Speaker 4:

Yes.

00:04:50 - 00:05:09 | Speaker 3:

So I was 14 at the time. I was at my friend's house. Her father was a priest, and they had their church on the... property as well and we actually went to the church basement and i lost my virginity that night oh my god

00:05:09 - 00:06:09 | Speaker 4:

it's pretty awkward oh my god to the girl the the is that the pastor's daughter oh yeah wow so you you and the pastor's daughter did it in the church basement what kind of church we talking about is this like a non-denominational or baptist or what is this it was a lutheran church lutheran church god love the lutherans that's amazing love all right well you uh hold on a second you go and do like 28 hail marys and uh you'll get back into heaven we'll figure that out you might you might get what's in my right pocket uh talk about communion yes you're gonna to say them all today. I'll let you because it's your birthday. Stella, hi, how are you? It's Mojo. Stella. Stella is a Stella's on the phone. Stella's a sinner. Stella, what did you do?

00:06:09 - 00:06:35 | Speaker 1:

Good morning. I dressed up as Mother Teresa for a Halloween party. I had all the things going on. I looked just like her. a latex piece on my face. No one knew who I was. Yeah. Equipped with my long pantyhose titties hanging out of my cupboard. I walked around and blessed everyone. You cannot

00:06:35 - 00:06:51 | Speaker 4:

say that when talking about Mother Teresa. God rest her soul. She's a saint. She's a saint. She's canonized a saint. Oh, Stella. I went there. Stella, you're not going to heaven. You're not going to heaven.

00:06:51 - 00:06:57 | Speaker 1:

And no one knew who I was until I sang karaoke. Oh, my God. Yeah, because I was revealed.

00:06:58 - 00:06:59 | Speaker 4:

You got to put those things away.

00:06:59 - 00:07:04 | Speaker 1:

What song did you sing, Mother Teresa? What do you think? Amazing Grace.

00:07:04 - 00:07:18 | Speaker 4:

Oh, my God. These are great. These are all really good. Voice Disguise, initial A. Hi, A.

00:07:20 - 00:07:21 | Speaker 2:

Hi, Pope Mojo.

00:07:21 - 00:07:25 | Speaker 4:

How are you, my child? Tell us your confession.

00:07:26 - 00:07:40 | Speaker 2:

Bringing up bad memories. 20 years ago, well, actually, I was 20 years old. It was like 35 years ago. I had an affair with my best friend's fiance.

00:07:41 - 00:07:46 | Speaker 4:

Oh. And does your best friend know that you had an affair with their fiance?

00:07:48 - 00:07:56 | Speaker 2:

I don't think so. Are they still married? Never. They're not married. They ended up breaking up.

00:07:56 - 00:07:57 | Speaker 4:

And it wasn't, was it because of you?

00:07:59 - 00:08:10 | Speaker 2:

I don't, I don't know. I have no idea. Nothing was ever said to me. And you're still, you're still best friends with her. And I was going to go to my grave with this. This is the first time I've ever said anything about it.

00:08:10 - 00:08:31 | Speaker 4:

Oh my gosh, I feel honored. You know what? We're getting you back in heaven just for that. The fact that you finally confessed to it. That's what religion is. If you confess that you did something, God forgives, okay? Thank you, Popo Joe. Tis the season. This is the season for this thing. Hold on one second. Actually, God forgives, except for T, are you still there with us?

00:08:32 - 00:08:33 | Speaker 2:

Yes, I am.

00:08:33 - 00:08:55 | Speaker 4:

I don't know if God's going to forgive the fact that you're giving handies to a quadriplegic man, but hold on one second still, okay? Will you hang on one second? Laying hands on people, you know? All right. All right. Question for you guys. Which one of these ones have you liked so far?

00:08:55 - 00:08:59 | Speaker 2:

Oh, it's the handy. I mean, the handy. Do you think so? That's a good one. That's the best

00:08:59 - 00:09:29 | Speaker 4:

one of them all. Do I take one last one? Yes, please. One last one. Lydia, do I do not? Do I do line one or will that just kill the mood? It might kill the mood. I think it will kill Well, do two then. So do two then? Yeah. No, I'm saying one. I'm saying line one on that one. No, I'm saying take two more callers. Start with line one. Oh, no, I can't. I don't know. Really? Yes. No, if you think it's going to kill the mood, maybe a second. I think it's going to kill the mood. The mood has been, no, the mood has been too good. Now we want to know. All right, Anthony. Anthony, I'll let you be on. What's up, Anthony? Are you there?

00:09:29 - 00:09:31 | Speaker 3:

Good morning, Mojo, in the morning. Good morning.

00:09:32 - 00:09:34 | Speaker 4:

I'm sorry. It's Father Mojo to you.

00:09:35 - 00:09:38 | Speaker 3:

Oh, Mojo, how you do today? I do today.

00:09:38 - 00:09:43 | Speaker 4:

Why do I sound like I'm, I don't think that's what the poke sounds like. But go ahead.

00:09:43 - 00:09:45 | Speaker 3:

Hey, we got to get Friday kicked off right.

00:09:45 - 00:09:46 | Speaker 4:

Okay, go ahead.

00:09:47 - 00:09:55 | Speaker 3:

So about 10 years ago, at Meijer, JBL speaker, I rang up as Bananas and paid 76 cents.

00:09:57 - 00:09:59 | Speaker 4:

You know what, we'll end on that note there.

00:10:00 - 00:10:55 | Speaker 2:

That was the BNJBL Hey, it was a great speaker Hey, real quick Do you want to say hi to the Quadriplegic handjob girl? Hold on a second Her name is T And T is the winner Congratulations, T T You get what's in my right pocket here What's in my right pocket? Hold on We're going to pull it out here right now. Hold on. Ooh, money. I got money in my pocket. Uh-oh, it's changed. Are you ready? $20. I got $20 for you, T. You're a winner. $20. Right here. Give her $20. $30 short of the paraplegic. Oh, my God. Hold on. Hold on. I actually have money in the other hand.

00:10:55 - 00:11:25 | Speaker 1:

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