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This is Mojo in the Morning.

I hope Megan doesn't embarrass herself by bringing this up in front of guests that we have in studio, but you know you're old when, and Megan's got a good one for us. Megan, you know you're old when.

i regularly consume an absolutely obscene amount of metamucil and it doesn't oh yeah i need some today i'm a metamucil girly i put me on the face of a bottle name a brand after me

please i take so much of it it's not even funny do you do the pre-mix orangey thing no water or

i can't do the pre-mix the pre-mix is like okay do you remember in ghostbusters there was a pink slime that came out of the bathtub faucet when she was running the bath for a baby since then thick water has always scared the absolute bejesus out of me and the fact that metamucil is just thick water scares the crap out of me i think i'm gonna be taken over by a ghost i can't do it

can't do it do you do the cakes then or there's cakes yeah they have little they have little not cakes they're crackers they're like biscuits but they call them a cat cakes or something

Get the gummies. I have the gummies. I have the gummies. They get hard very quickly. Yes, you have to drink so much water with them, and they don't work. And I don't understand why everybody swears by these, because I have consumed so much Metamucil, and it doesn't work. Make a duty.

Just so you know, it's not just for old people. Remember, we talked to my son, Joe, who's mid-20s, and Joe is obsessed with Metamucil.

Listen, it's not for old people, but you feel real old when you buy it for the first time. You're like, this is a new stage of life that I was not looking forward to.

Well, it's in the old people aisle at Walgreens and CVS.

It's next to the adult diapers.

Yes. Like, why do they do that to you?

Because it's for old people.

It's crazy. So how many times a day, if you don't mind me asking, how many times a day are you going? Are you regular?

Am I going to the bathroom or taking Metamucil?

Now, how many times a day are you going to the bathroom?

Why do I know this? I know the answer to this question. What is the answer? You have not gone in four days. Four days.

Wow. Four days. You haven't gone in four days?

No, and then I go to my one doctor who weighs me every time, and I just know that if I could get this out of me, I would weigh like seven pounds less.

Oh, my God. You're up in my neighborhood and you need to use the toilet?

Every time I go, I ask her, can we just deduct like five pounds? And she's like, that's not how this works. And I'm like, ugh.

I hate it. By the way, that is the worst feeling in the world when you've gone four days without a bowel movement.

That is not the longest. What's the longest? I've been like eight days before. You've gone eight days? you're going to explode i don't know how i lost weight i started eating the healthiest i've ever ate in my entire life and now i'm irregular and you know what the problem is though make it make

sense you eat so much less probably that you don't your body doesn't need it back in the day like when i was doing like full-on pizzas by myself i would go duty like six or seven times a day it was because more in more out you also don't drink enough water that might neither do i no

that is absolutely true i'll give you the water thing but i wasn't drinking enough water before

when i was eating unhealthy oh really no hey you you know you're old when what's up jen

so i know i need to stretch more and everything but like today is my 40th birthday thank you but like when i roll out of bed in the morning and like

i'm always late for work so i'm trying to put on my pants i can't even bend to like put on my pants

i gotta lean up against the wall is that a balance problem with that what happened here

no it's like sharp pain in my lower back so i gotta like sit on the floor like almost like uh people do when like they're trying to do up their pants or like they lay on the bed trying

to get up i'm just trying to get them on like get my foot in oh my god don't hurt yourself that's the worst thing is you've fallen end up hurting yourself even more than that yoshi hi you know you're old when? Hi, Yoshi.

Good morning.

Good morning. Hi. You know you're old when?

Your teeth don't sleep together. Wait, what?

Your teeth don't sleep together? Fit together. No, sleep together. Sleep together. What do you mean?

Sleep with you. Oh, your teeth. Oh, your teeth don't sleep. You actually, you have to put them in like a bowl at night or something?

When your mouth is wide open and you're sleeping.

Question for you. How old are you?

Listen, I'm not that old, but I'm 35.

35 years old. You just have, what, bad dental hygiene, or what's the story?

No, no, no. I know a couple people that sleep with their mouth wide open.

That's what he's talking about. Oh, I thought he said he takes his teeth out. Me too.

Oh, when you sleep with your mouth open. Oh, gosh. I've been doing that since I was probably five. Are you fat? Because usually that's a sign of you got too much of a... What is it that the turkeys have? Like a... A gizzard or whatever? Yeah, like a... Like right here. What's up, Dylan? How you doing?

Not too bad. How's everyone this morning?

Good. By the way, that last caller would have been even better if it was that he didn't have his teeth in his mouth. But go ahead, Dylan. What's yours? I know you know your old one.

You know your old one. You're not able to bounce back after drinking from a night out.

I have to tell you, two drinks lately, like if I have two glasses of wine, it feels like I ripped shots all day the next day.

Brutal.

I'm not joking. Do we have any wine? You cannot do that. It's in the office.

It's like Hangover City. Dylan, what do you drink? Are you down with the brown or what do you do?

Usually when I drink, I drink Bacardi rum.

Oh, so you're okay, rum. Rum is, you know what, honestly, you got to give up rum after you're, like, a teenager or in your 20s. Like, you can't be doing rum anymore. Rum is only for vacations.

I'm 25 right now, so I'm only 25 right now.

Yeah, but I'm going to say something controversial yet brave. If your go-to drink is rum, I just assume you've never made a good decision in your life.

That's right. Rum to me, like, when I see people drinking rum and Cokes, I go, that was, like, my first drink, Captain and Coke.

Mine too. What's up, Sean? I can't smell it.

How you doing? Oh, it smells bad, doesn't it, when you smell it? What's up, Sean?

Mojo, first time, long time. Hey! I'm rolling your name while you're on the phone.

It's Sean. Sean's on the phone. You guys are awesome. Zach has been filling in for, Kev, can we give it up for Zach for doing such a great job?

All right, Zach. Zach, you're doing great.

What's going on, Sean?

Hey, you know you're old when you buy a pair of New Balances for work and tell everybody how comfortable they are.

Sean, you want to know what's crazy? Those are the new cool shoes. Yes, they are. They're everywhere.

And they're cute. I just got my fiance's best friend to buy a pair. She loves them, too.

They're cute. Hey, can I also tell you that the new New Balances, the ones that everybody, like, talks about now, are Hoka's. Kev makes fun of me all the time for wearing Hoka's but Hoka's are they're like the modern day New Balances you'll have a pair I'm ashamed to admit this

I said to Wes yesterday at the gym I think I'm going to go buy a pair of Hoka's because I've been walking a lot lately and my feet hurt I'm not even 30 these don't cut oh Jesus

once you go to Hoka's you'll never go back I'm telling you Try him, buddy. I don't even have a stake in the company, but I should. I love him so much. What's up, Jordan?

Good morning.

Hi. You know you're old. For Megan, it's that she does Metamucil. What's yours?

My husband and I were going to Menards, and we were talking about how we do not feel 30. And then I bought two toilet brush and plunger combo sets, and I was so excited to go home and set them in the bathroom.

Yeah, I feel this.

I think you could have stopped as we went to Menards.

They've taken over cities before, but this July, they're bringing the X Games League Championship home to New Orleans. July 20th.

24 through 26 at the Superdome. Over 100 elite athletes competing for the first ever league title. Plus, Metro Boomin, JID, Subtronics, and Bunt performing live. New Orleans doesn't just host the moment. New Orleans is the moment. Get your tickets now at xgames.com.

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The United States is about to mark its 250th anniversary.

And so on the Global Story podcast from the BBC, we're telling surprising tales of American influence on the world stage and in ordinary people's lives all across the globe. We have this ability to export our story and a lot of people have bought it.

I feel like the American dream is alive, but not well. From the BBC, it's the United States at 2.50.

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