Muse

You Must Have Cleaned Your Ass Today
Mojo In The Morning

You Must Have Cleaned Your Ass Today

from Mojo In The Morning

May 31, 2023 | 00:07:03 | Leisure

0 0
0.0 (0)
3
0 0
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
0:00 / 0:00
1.0× 100%


Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:29 | Speaker 1:

My fellow Americans, this July, we're celebrating America's birthday at Moto Casino by giving away $1,776,000 in prizes. And one lucky winner is going to take home $1,000,000 SC. Happy 250th birthday, America. You're welcome. Download Moto Casino today. Download the Moto Casino app today. Moto Casino is a social casino. We're prohibited. No purchase necessary. Visit Moto.us for more details. Moto Casino. America's social casino.

00:00:30 - 00:01:02 | Speaker 5:

This is Miles Gray from Ain't It Footy. How can you stay winning during the FIFA World Cup 2026? Well, the ActiveCash Visa credit card from Wells Fargo scores unlimited 2% cash rewards on all types of fanfare purchases. That's cash rewards on tickets, merch, and game day snacks. I call that a win-win-win because unlimited 2% cash rewards earned means unlimited bragging rights won. Terms apply. Visit wellsfargo.com slash ActiveCash. Active Cash, Visa, worldwide partner of the FIFA World Cup 2026.

00:01:03 - 00:01:34 | Speaker 4:

Indeed Sponsored Jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed Sponsored Jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 Sponsored Job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed-sponsored jobs.

00:01:35 - 00:01:48 | Speaker 3:

Mojo on the morning show. So Kev was taking an Uber, and the Uber driver gave him a very nice compliment. Do we have any Uber drivers that are listening to the show right now? If you are, listen up, because we're going to need you to call in here in a second.

00:01:49 - 00:02:55 | Speaker 2:

Yeah, I have had some pretty interesting experiences as a passenger through Uber over the years, And I know I'm not the only one, right? And one of my favorite things to do when I get into Ubers, actually, is to ask drivers, you know, what was the craziest experience you had? So as I've mentioned before, someone ran into my parked car, and I've been dealing with insurance, who I'm going to go with, finally made the decision yesterday, and I'm going to pick up my rental car today. So how I've been getting around is either with Shirelle's car or an Uber. Shirelle is your girlfriend? Yeah, Shirelle is my girlfriend, who I am loyal and faithful to. so i get in the uber and we haven't even gone a mile yet and the guy literally goes first i hear him sniff he's like and i'm like okay he's like i can tell you washed your ass today i swear to god i swear to you i swear to you and i'm like at first i'm like there's like silence So I'm like, okay, you ain't kind of laughing off like, okay.

00:02:55 - 00:02:58 | Speaker 3:

By the way, that might be the greatest compliment ever.

00:02:59 - 00:03:01 | Speaker 2:

I'm not mad. I'm not mad.

00:03:02 - 00:03:02 | Speaker 3:

That might be.

00:03:02 - 00:03:22 | Speaker 2:

Wait, there's more? Yes, there's more? Because the girls I dropped off before you, ugh, and they had to go to work. You could tell they stink, but you, you washed your ass. I'm like, thank you, sir. I would have been choking laughing. I'm now very scared because nobody's ever said that to me.

00:03:25 - 00:05:00 | Speaker 3:

That, by the way, is the greatest. I have to tell you that there's nothing worse than getting into an Uber that smells. And it happens a lot. And can I say to the Uber drivers that are listening to the show, and I really want you guys to know I do this with most respect. stop using those horrible smelling air fresheners in your car that smell worse than whatever body odor you could possibly have in your car there are some of these ubers that have them first off i don't need to smell vanilla unless i'm in a strip club you know but sometimes it's so strong you it like tickles your throat yeah it's it's honestly getting to a point now where i said we took a lot of ubers this weekend when we were away and uh the ubers that we we were in two things that drove me crazy one was the smell the other one was the one uber guy picked us up in a gmc denali suv beautiful brand new it looked like black on black gorgeous the guy accessorized so much of the interior of this car he ruined what the the company what general motors and gmc do he put like i had in my seat in the back that i was sitting in with chelsea and luke i had a beaded back like you've seen some of these taxi cab drivers have like first of those beaded back things it's uncomfortable i'd rather feel the leather of the thing but i think he was doing it to try to protect his leather and then his steering wheel was fur. No. He had fur on his steering wheel. And I'm like, you...

00:05:00 - 00:05:13 | Speaker 5:

just ruined that car why would you do that to that vehicle but um 844 mojo live 844-665-6548 if you're an uber driver do you compliment your customers by telling them that they must have

00:05:13 - 00:05:48 | Speaker 3:

cleaned their ass today what's up tiffany hey i don't say that but i have definitely told people that they smell amazing because 80 of the people that i get in my car smell terrible So they either smell like basement, like that mildew smell, or no shade to, like, the foreigners, but they smell spicy. Like, it smells spicy in here when they leave. So, yes, most people stink. And, yes, it's a good thing that you don't, Kev. Congrats.

00:05:48 - 00:06:03 | Speaker 5:

Isn't that nice? What a nice compliment for him. Thank you, Tiffany. Are you a type of person, though, that likes a guy like Kev in your car? Like, do you want somebody that actually does the whole I'm going to interview you thing? Because I do that, too, like Kevin does.

00:06:03 - 00:06:45 | Speaker 3:

Oh, I don't mind questions. I actually kind of think it's better for people to talk to me than to sit in the back like weirdos. Because when they do that, I just turn the radio up and I have a car concert. You get a free concert with your ride today. But if they want to chat, like, I'm always going to be a chatty Cathy. and it's actually really interesting how often especially men get in and they treat me like they're therapists. They're like, let me tell you what happened, like blah, blah, blah. And I think maybe because I'm a stranger, I don't have like. Sure, you're a third party. Yeah, exactly. But I wish I could do taxi cab confessions over style because when I tell you the shenanigans, the shenanigans.

00:06:45 - 00:06:48 | Speaker 5:

You've seen some people do some bad things in the back of your car.

00:06:48 - 00:06:51 | Speaker 1:

We need to do that as a topic, Uber driver confessionals or something.

00:06:51 - 00:07:31 | Speaker 6:

love that dj what's up it's mojo in the morning oh what's going on everybody nice to meet you kev by the way new guy what's going on what up dj what's cool i was waiting for y'all to talk about this man so i had a group of girls the other day i'm driving my minivan in uber xl right i picked them up from their restaurant or whatever downtown and the second girl that gets in the van she goes oh my god sir let me just thank you right now because your van smells so good the guy who drove what's down here his van smelled like beaten ass and then the whole ride it was silent because he wouldn't turn on the radio so she was like we were just riding in silence and funk the whole way

00:07:31 - 00:07:36 | Speaker 1:

it's the worst i've actually gotten out of an uber early because i couldn't take the smell

00:07:36 - 00:08:04 | Speaker 6:

anymore and then you have to get a new uber yep i would cancel the trip i also wanted to say i've had a couple people get in there i don't really say it to the women often because i don't want seem like a creep but i'm like a huge like fan of like cologne and fresh scents i got a ton of cologne in my closets and stuff and when guys get in and they smell good i'll tell them straight up look don't you know don't take this the wrong way but you smell pretty good what what are you wearing and a couple times they would tell me i'll add it to my list or whatever and i'll go and buy it because it smells great but i don't like to tell the women that because i don't want to see

00:08:04 - 00:08:15 | Speaker 5:

my creep well it's funny i would actually i actually have wanted to tell people that they smell good but exactly what you just said i have a hard time doing it because i'm afraid that they're going to look at me strange, you know?

00:08:15 - 00:08:20 | Speaker 6:

Right. They'll take it the wrong way. Some people can't take a compliment. I just want to say, hey, look, you smell good. I'm not trying to touch you.

00:08:20 - 00:08:28 | Speaker 5:

Right, exactly. I'm just trying to smell. Although, you know what? Sometimes it's like you think that your Uber driver might be, you know, taking you to the wrong destination or something. I don't know.

00:08:28 - 00:08:35 | Speaker 6:

Some people can't take a compliment. I'm stuck in your car. I don't want to be on a parking lot. I just want to tell you you smell good. Don't take me home and lock me in the basement. Exactly.

00:08:37 - 00:08:38 | Speaker 5:

Thanks for the call.

00:08:38 - 00:08:57 | Speaker 4:

Here's golf legend John Daly. Hell yeah, these wins are piling up faster than my divorces. I only spent on Modo, America's Social Casino. You know I've won a couple of majors. And on Modo, I've won majors, grands, and epic jackpots on their classic Vegas slots with huge, huge bonus rounds. Modo Casino adds new games and awards players free coins every single day. Grip it and spend it on Modo Casino.

00:08:57 - 00:09:35 | Speaker 2:

Download the Modo Casino app today. Modo Casino is a social casino board. We're prohibited. No purchase necessary. Visit Modo.us for more details. Modo Casino. America's Social Casino. The first season of the X Games League is ending in New Orleans, and only one team walks away champion. July 24th through 26th at the Caesars Superdome, watch the world's best skaters, BMX riders, and moto athletes battle for the title. Plus, live performances from Metro Boomin', JID, Subtronics, and Bunt. Three days of sport and music. Get your tickets now at xgames.com.

00:09:37 - 00:10:36 | Speaker 1:

summer is here at orderly meds we know this time is a reminder that life is full of new beginnings whether you're celebrating the nice weather starting a new chapter planning a vacation or simply looking ahead to what's next this season can be the perfect time to invest in yourself and your health if you've struggled with weight loss and are curious about glp1 medications orderly meds can help you learn about your options through a simple virtual process you can connect with licensed medical professionals who can determine whether treatment may be appropriate for you getting started is fast convenient and happens online from the comfort of home this summer consider a new approach to feeling your best visit orderlymeds.com slash podcast to learn more that's orderlymeds.com slash podcast orderlymeds.com slash podcast because every new season is an opportunity to take the next step forward. Compounded medications are not FDA approved. Eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary. See website for details.

0/0