Muse

hey what's going on it's bill bird it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you whoa what's going on how are you

oh wee billy burr is still in belfast doing a fucking octon gig oh wee billy burr went out for a fucking sandwich the other day and you know what he did he lost his wallet I had on me sweatpants had a wee little pocket for my wee little wallet everything's wee over here

I fucking lost my wallet all my credit cards my ID, the whole fucking thing and I never lost my shit I fucking back traced it man and I went back to where I was and they were like, Roy, we don't have it mate, Roy, fuck off ginger cunt and i'm like okay so i leave and like three days goes by you know i immediately cancel all the credit cards but i was worried about my id floating around in belfast you know and uh lo and behold production on the movie got on it we filed the police report bing bang boom all of a sudden we go to the lost and found it one of the fucking planes there it is i got me wallet back with all the money in it well i just want to say thank you to whoever it was that returned my wallet um all right you're a good cunt he's a great cunt top cunt um or she all right god bless you there are good people in the world good things do happen in the world you wouldn't know it by the people who run the world but everybody else is fucking cool that's what i've learned oh billy world traveler um going around the world both hemispheres is i've just found that generally speaking people are cool it's the sickos it's the fucking sickos at the top um you know but there's some people at the top that are cool and there's some regular people that are fucking psychos right there's been plenty of people that you know they they were like a teacher or whatever and also like a serial killer so i'm not like glorifying either side i'm just speaking in general ality general alities um anyway so uh but i was happy that you know i didn't uh i didn't fucking hope billy doesn't do that anymore i had a little bit of a fucking starting to slip back to my old ways and i realized hey you know this this whole having control of your emotions is like going to the gym you know you got to be going or else uh you know you lose what you put into it so i've gotten back into meditating journaling and just being like you know trying to keep the door open too so i have uh you know access to all emotions i can be you know disappointed as opposed to just you know happy mad i don't give a fuck like you know like to expand the palette there um anyway so we were here for a few days and we were like wow what the fuck belfast doesn't have a lot of shit to do and everything closes at five and it's just like any other city about four days in you're like oh this is where the people go oh

here's another cool street so they have like these these long streets like a mile long some of them One of them we went to was like two miles long of nothing but cool shops, restaurants and cafes that you can go to. But like, you know, where we were at was every like centralized area or whatever. There's always some fucking Bourbon Street, Times Square, Hollywood sign. That's just a jerk off place you don't want to be at, you know. And then you have. All right. If you live in this city, where do you go? So we were able to figure that out. but I am so fucking relieved I got my wallet back. I was really, I was upset. I didn't get mad. I was just like, I was worried. That's what I was. I was like, what does this fucking mean now in this day and age of AI and all of this fucking shit? What does this mean? So fortunately, I didn't have to find out. So anyways, there's that. I also watched the latest MotoGP. Wow, what a fucking weekend, huh? In Czechia, what do they call it? Czech Republic, whatever they call it. The sprint race, Marco Busceki, the championship leader, wipes out for like the third time this year in a sprint race. And I don't know what happened.

He slapped like two marshals. I don't know why. He gets, like, upset, you know, when he starts fucking slapping people like Burt Reynolds on Cannonball Run when you would watch the bloopers. So he evidently, he hit the wrong two people or he's done it before, I don't know what, but they suspended him. But a whole fucking race on Sunday and wouldn't you know it, Mark Marquez. Well, first of all, Peco Bignalli won the sprint. Uh, uh, Ioguro was second. Pedro Acosta crashed again. That poor bastard. Then his bike quit on the final lap. He's having a great race on Sunday. And Ioguro came in second place both times. Dude, that kid is the future. Him and when Pedro Acosta gets on a goddamn bike that doesn't crap out on him in the final five laps. I feel like I've seen that like three times this year. Um, I think those two kids are gonna be the future whenever Marc Marquez decides he's tired of winning championships. So he came back on Sunday and did what he usually does. He gets into second place and then just rides up on the leader and waits for them to chew up their tires or make a mistake. And I don't know, he passed his teammate, Pecco, with like four laps to go. And then that's it. That's it. and then Ogura was in third, and then he passed Peko, and then I think that's how it ended. But... Marco Pesceci just fucking... You ever see that clip, I don't know what movie it is, of Bernie Mac just walking on that train platform slapping everybody? I feel like that's what the fuck he... When he crashes out, he gets mad at other... He gets mad at people that didn't even work on the bike. I could see if he went back into the pits and he... you know, decided to blame them. Which would be crazy, because it's like, dude, last I checked, you're leading this fucking thing, so we must be doing a good job here. I think what you're trying to say, Marco, is you're fucked up, and the bike slid out from underneath you. I think that's what you're trying to say. I think. You know? I don't know. I don't make the goddamn rules. So I think there's like one or two more races before they go on the break, and I mean, that was, Mark Marquez came in third, and then he came in first place, so I don't know how many points that is. I think if you win the sprint, you get 10 or 12 points, no more than 15, and you get like 25 or something if you win. I'm not good with the numbers, people, but all I know is he picked up like around 40 points on Bushecki, and he's like right back in this shit and he got his shoulder repaired and his foot is healed

and he's got like another race or two before the break and he's going to be even more rested up. That all lines up to Basheki's got to stop bitch slapping people after he fucks up on a bike. Or Marquez is going to get championship number eight. Who knows? who the fuck knows so anyway I did my first day on the movie on Tuesday I had a great time by the way I have this bastardized like fucking English Scottish and Irish accent that I've been doing over here it's all just fucking it's all just a big super shit it's a little Jason Statham it's a little bit some of the Scottish comics i met a long time ago when i went over there and then whatever i picked up in belfast but it it is not it is not good whatever it is it's annoying i think i think it annoys people but you can't help but do it after a while um it's just fun to do but anyway belfast is a fucking it's a good town man good town good people in here you know when they're not fucking trying to attack immigrants. You know, but I do see like some good signs. I saw a few signs up there that says immigrants welcome, racists not, you know? So it's good to see, you know, the smart people over here writing signs too. You know, dumb people love to fucking spray paint walls. It's about time the smart people started fucking doing the same goddamn thing. um anyway plowing ahead here uh so um i gotta gotta work the next couple of days and uh so i got some ideas of some shit that i want to do but um i will tell you man if you like riding motorcycles and stuff ireland alone the coast is i i had to go somewhere today to check out a location and uh we went up the coast again and i gotta tell you man jesus christ um and the roads are all you know plenty of turns and that and they got some sweepers and all of that it's really fucking because who's getting who you can't really sightsee on a bike i mean what are you looking at you can't you gotta like pay attention to what you're doing um but whatever it's it's still you know it's all that fucking game of thrones looking stuff man and all of a sudden you just go by a castle it's really uh it's really gorgeous out here and um oh my god dude my uh you remember that fucking they made that great movie uh george and tammy and uh they had this thing because it

was about george jones and tammy winette and george jones really battled the bottle his whole life before he finally quit he could quit a bunch of times but they had this thing in the movie where whenever uh george was thinking about drinking he'd kind of do this thing kind of do that with his teeth just had a taste for it you know and then tammy would oh george look at this and try to distract him so he wouldn't he wouldn't go back to his drinking ways and uh i gotta tell you belfast is a very difficult place to not just sit down and have a pint um like i don't know what we're doing over in america but we just don't have the right glasses There's something about the glasses that they put beer in in Ireland, Scotland, England. Oh, my God. Antwerp, Belgium was probably the hardest place I ever went where I was just going to be like, you know, I'm overseas. It doesn't count that bullshit. But when I was in Antwerp, they, you'd go into a bar and they would have a hundred, I mean, I didn't go in, but I was just looking in. They had like 50 fucking beers on tap and each beer had its own special glass. So however you pour it in, the way the head of the beer, everything to give you the maximum flavor as you drank this beer. And I was just like, why the fuck? Why the fuck didn't I come here before I quit drinking? So I can tell you that if you're about ready to get sober, I would go to Belgium. if you're gonna have one last good one i would do that as opposed to face planting in a fucking applebee's you know because when you go up on aa night and you get to share don't you want to have something different you know what i mean so maybe one of those sober drunk chicks find you interesting. You can put your life together. Two of you guys can just sit around eating donuts and smoking cigarettes down to the filter. Help you keep each other fucking sober. I don't know. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next couple of days. I felt great on set on Tuesday, but now I had the next day off and then from here on out

i'm just working and uh i don't know 24 hours off is enough to get my demons going i kind of understand how my brain works now and i just have to remember like hey bill remember you know remember every gig you've ever had and you're stressed and it it went great you ended up having a good time like why does this have to be your process just fucking relax um so what i do is i whenever i start to feel like that anxiety i just start like reading the script and um i get excited to do it again and then rather than you know when you get anxious you kind of like procrastinate so if you prepare that gets rid of the anxiousness and then you can actually have a good time i mean i don't know why it took me close to 60 years to learn all of this shit but um i did so i'm trying to pass it on to you if you're a fucking lunatic if you're a fucking lunatic like me um i am i'll tell you what is killing me is the island man just happened the tt race and i didn't realize i always thought the island Man was kind of north of Scotland. It's some other thing that's like part of the Scandinavia or the Nordic countries. There's some fucking random island up there. I always get that confused, but like the Isle of Man, it's four hours by boat. So I imagine if you jumped on a little puddle jumper, you're probably over there in like 40 minutes. Um, I'm doing a gig Saturday night here at Ulster Hall. And thank you to everybody that bought the tickets. I'm looking forward to doing that. Sorry, I got the hiccups here. But I'm thinking next year, if my schedule permits, maybe I come back to Belfast, do another gig, because I'm not playing the biggest place out here and then afterward fly over and go do the gig i mean go see the motorcycle race although there's a part of me thinking like you got to make your reservations now you know if you're gonna have a place to stay and uh oh my god i don't want to be in a city i don't want to be in town because i feel like that's where people wipe out and die. I don't want to see anybody die. I just want to see somebody go by as a blur. So, I don't know. If and when that happens, you know, I'll ask you guys. I know somebody listening to this has gone to the TT and could give me some fucking advice. So, anyway. Plowing ahead here. Oh, my God. How did I almost forget this? So, last night, I had worked that day

and I, I, they, you know, I didn't have, I only was taking the first scene, so then I had the rest of the day off, so, um, I went with my lovely wife, there's this movie she's been wanting to see that everybody's been watching called Obsession, and I go, all right, I'll go see that with you, she goes, just like, you know, it's kind of a horror kind of thing, and I'm like, uh, I don't do, I don't do well with those movies, you know, I'm, I don't know what happened, when I was a kid, i could watch like friday the 13th i don't know somewhere along the line you know i just had too many moments in my life where i'm like oh my god what's gonna happen next like from the time i was a kid to i don't need to like i go to the movies to like either watch an incredible story or i go to the movies to watch one guy beat the shit out of 40 people in a bar like that's that's the scope of my cinematic abilities i don't go there to fucking like because i i whatever i go see i take the fucking ride like i understand what this is you know so if i'm going to see a horror movie it's going to scare the shit out of me because i'm not going to remind myself that i'm just watching a movie because there is like this thing with people who watch horror movies that movie didn't even scare me at all but like oh it didn't in the comfort of your own home when you watch it or the fucking movie because you didn't take the ride you missed the whole point of it oh in defense of you unless it did suck but i'm just saying generally speaking it's it's kind of like you know you take nyquil you can fight it off if you want to but if you take the ride you know you wake up the next day like what the fuck happened um so she tells me that it's you know she lets me know what that is but you know i love my wife to death so i'm like i'll go i'll go i'll go she goes i don't know how bad it is whoever so i go to see this movie and it was fucking amazing first of all andy richter was in it um and uh that guy i can't can't even count the amount of times that guy saved my ass on conan's talk show always was there whatever i did started the bomb he always jumped in and always had a good line always helped me out so i love that guy and then there was all of these new actors that I you know kids I had never seen the lead who plays Nikki Freeman I'm gonna fuck up the name I think it's Indy Navarrete or Navarrete oh my god the amount of emotions that she had to show and did was fucking incredible uh Michael Johnston Megan Lawless and Cooper Tomlinson all of them were fucking Tomlinson were amazing and then there was this guy that I loved uh Darren Tunder I hope I said his name right he had a fucking great scene um another one I'm looking at all the names here Haley Fitzgerald was great they

just were fucking great and it was one of those movies where you talk about it afterward you try to figure out what's going on you know it definitely uh what gets me going in those fucking movies other than this scary thing is I fucking hate when the characters do something that I wouldn't do. It's like, you're out of there. Why would you go back? Just get in your car and fucking drive away. And I get the reason why it doesn't because that would be the end of the fucking movie. So I'm sitting there and whatever the danger is, I'm not gonna, no spoiler here, I'm not gonna ruin it. The person gets out of it and then fucking goes back to where the danger is. And it's like, Jesus fucking Christ. i could finally fucking breathe what are you doing going back there but there's like there's so many different like themes that are going on in this movie and you know me and i the next day were looking up uh reviews of it and overall it was positive one person was saying that you know there was a lot of stuff that wasn't explained and it's like well that's kind of the fun of a movie like for me anyway i my one of the things i fucking hate the most is when a movie just leads you around by the nose and you're supposed to like you know like they're trying to like lead you to this conclusion that they want you to have um i remember that a long time ago it was like this movie about oh I forget the name of it but it was a movie about um monster that Charlize Theron movie and it was great the performances were great it was everything was fucking great but I just felt the way that they were doing it was they were arguing her defense in the movie that she was not actually a bad person that the reason she was the way she was was because she was abused by men therefore in a way she was justified for what she was doing and uh they just steered in it too hard that was my only complaint about that movie and then what was funny was I looked up the real person and they admitted that they were just saying all of that shit so they wouldn't get the fucking electric chair she was like the real person was going I you know I was doing the lies I was doing the lies but also in defense of that movie I was a really walled off psycho that had a lot of issues with women which was why my act was the way it was back then and it was like and all of the shit that I was saying about women I didn't really believe that I was saying that because I thought that that's how you were supposed

to be as a guy like, you know, fuck these chicks. I was doing all of that shit. Because, you know, in my head, I was secretly like, no, I want to find love and I want to be married and have a family. I just don't know how to do it because I'm a walled off psycho. And rather than facing that part of me, what did I do as a young man? Oh, I'll just blame what I really want. And I'll act the opposite of what I really am. It's just, you know, the dumb shit you do when you're younger. So I should probably watch that movie again. Anyway, so long story short is we saw it. We had a great time. And there's some other horror movie that's out. And also what I think is cool is I think the person who directed it is only like 25 or 26 years old. And they made a hit movie. How fucking great is that? You know, it's going to keep going. You know, the torch has been passed. there's another you know great young director out there that's gonna make great movies for young people the way it happened when I was a kid which I love as an old person you're like good there's still a few things left that we used to do or that you know I think is cool and people are still gonna want to go do it so that's that's fucking alright anyway and it's also great that you know it didn't cost a lot of money and it made a ton of money you know that helps everybody in the business that i'm in so there you go there you go there's one to fucking grow on so i forget what the other one is called um but she wants to see that one too and uh so you know i'm all right let's let's go fucking see it easygoing bill what do i give a shit about you know get to play this cool character i'm doing a little bit of stand-up i get to be in belfast for a couple of weeks because i've only been here one time i came up i played ulster hall and i got a quick tour around town and then that was it i left so to be here for a couple weeks is pretty fucking cool um and other than that i think that's uh all right let's do the reads for the week here. Oh, look who it is, everybody. It's simply safe. You know, in the U.S., there's a break-in every 26 seconds. That means somewhere right now an intruder is getting closer. Jesus Christ. The problem is most security systems only alert you after a break-in has already started, and that's too late. That's why I chose SimpliSafe to secure my home using the Outdoor Camera Series 2 and the Advanced AI Alerts. SimpliSafe's U.S.-based live agents identify threats on your property and help deter them. Stopping crime before it starts. That's real peace of mind. You know, when I was a kid, what you had to do is leave your front door unlocked and dress like a woman and act like you were washing the dishes. And as the intruder snuck up behind you, you turned around with your wig on and your jet black beard.

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with code BRRRR. That's ShipStation.com. Code BRRRR. ShipStation.com, code BRRRR. Taxes and fees apply. Oh, my God. Other than, you know, it's interesting to hear news about my country outside of the CIA-fed two news channels that we have. Yeah, like, you know, there's things that we say that we're winning, that the rest of the world is saying we're not winning. and there's things that we're saying we're doing and then people are like, no, they're actually doing this. So it's, you know, it's traveling. It's very, it's very interesting. Yeah, there's kind of like something that just recently happened that I always felt like that was a vulnerable point is I feel like no one's really gonna like full-on go after us in a military way? I don't think. Because we've shown the world we're crazy enough to use a nuclear device. And then we did it another time. Just be like, there you go. These things aren't just for show. We're crazy enough to fucking use them, right? So I feel like they will go after us economically. That's how, you know, if we don't stop being assholes to everybody, we're going to need some fucking allies out there. Like, if I was running this shit, uh, we should be Mr. Nice Guy right now. You know, walk the walk and talk the talk because we are bankrupt and we've been bankrupt for a long fucking time. So it's, the whole thing can get toppled very easily. If a couple people get together and decide that they're going to, uh, you know, it's like a survivor. If all of a sudden you get a crew together and they vote you out, you're fucking out that's it that's fucking it so um i think our latest field trip into international waters sort of exposed our underbelly i hope i'm wrong um but those are bigger problems than me um because i will tell you like everywhere i go people are cool people are cool the fucking leaders i'm telling you i hope eventually you know all of these psychos that are like millionaires and who would want to be a billionaire and a billionaire they want to be a fucking trainer like some at some point they should look at those people the same way you look at somebody who's like addicted to heroin like they're like nodding off with power and money and they're insatiable and uh I will say, generally speaking, when they show these people, they don't look happy. They don't look, I don't look at them and be,

oh, look at that guy, just full of joy. There's a few. You know who looks happy, the billionaire that looks happy? It's that guy with the hot air balloon. Richard Branson, he looks like one of those fucking lion tamers in Vegas back in the day. He always seems like he's having a good time.

I got an airline, I got some record stores, I got a fucking hot air balloon, you know? He hasn't shown up on any lists. He just always has a new chick, and he's got an ear-to-ear grin. He's got that Chuck Norris beard. You know, if you're just good at business and you're not fucking anybody over, you know, not making any money off false flag wars, you know, who gives a shit, right? Anyway, I'm babbling here. All right, that's it. I'm going to go look at my lines for tomorrow. Once again, thank you to that person who returned my wallet. Jesus Christ. There's one for you. When you're on the fucking, just in general, if you're out and about, don't fucking stick your wallet in your sweatpants pocket and then sit down in one of those fucking chairs that angles backwards because you're going to get up. You're going to be a little lighter. All right, that's it. enjoy the weekend you cunts and the music Andrew Themis is going to pick out in a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast alright hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the monday morning podcast for monday uh june 25th 2018 what's going on how are you how you doing how you doing with the the summer the summer's here right we're in the we're in the 20s of june somewhere along the lines the first day of summer you know back in the day you used to know it right because there wasn't as many channels and you would watch the local news and they'd bring it up today is the first day of

summer tell us jack what can people look forward to weather wise well i'll tell you mike we got a low pressure system coming in so don't inflate those fucking above ground pools yes yeah um and then they'd laugh for no reason your weekend's gonna suck um anyways uh it's got to be the

summertime right the fucking sun's out there you go right there global warming um what'd you do this weekend i have a couple of cores light that's this generation's budweiser right cores light they're crushing it you know peyton manning fucked up you notice the second peyton manning fucking bought budweiser now it's second place you know he didn't buy it he bought into it the second he fucking got in i bet he started pointing fingers at everybody you know we had some hops issues right and all of a sudden nobody's getting along over there and course like now course lights ahead right i bet tom brady invested in course light sorry why would i do this i like peyton manning now that he's retired you know i could look back and be like you know what that fella was uh quite a quarterback but when they're playing against your team you hate him it's stupid you don't you don't hate them you just hate him it's weird um anyways uh the summer's here i am back from vacation and i'm getting ready this weekend oh freckles shaking off the cobwebs i'm gonna be in uh minneapolis minnesota and detroit michigan okay a couple of Joe's six-pack towns, you know, where they put their pets, looking forward to that, and so I'm going to be around L.A. doing a bunch of spots, shaking off the dust. I'm on the elliptical, working off the croissant. Pan au chocolat. I never had any of those. You know, my wife's into those fucking things. I like the plain old boring white guy croissant. I don't need any flavor. anyways oh my god um i don't want to talk about this early on but i have to out of respect uh it's a sad sad sad sad day uh the passing of the great vinnie paul um drummer of obviously pantera damage plan and hell yeah good lord what a what a loss can't even can't even put it into words and i was lucky enough to meet him he was a big comedy fan and i remember the first time i met him i was opening for the late great charlie

murphy this is what happens when you get older like half your stories just like half the people in them are like fucking dead it sucks um but anyways yeah me charlie and donnell were on tour and we did the addison improv and uh i remember that that was one of those shows one of the few times i ever i went over without even realizing it i always knew when i was going over but i did like 40 minutes and i was supposed to do like 25 it's just one of those i just left there was talking and i don't know what happened and um charlie was cool with it but i was embarrassed because i never do that shit and it's a real cunty thing to do and it's something you know makes the headliner's job more difficult because you ate up all of that extra time wearing them out and all of that shit so uh i do remember that from that weekend but one of those shows it wasn't the show when i went over but uh i was standing after the show selling my cds this is how long ago this was it was right around uh it was 2004 his brother was still alive um and i was just standing there and i just looked up and he and he was standing right there vinnie fucking paul and you know it wasn't like he was vinnie paul offstage he just was vinnie paul he had the fucking cowboy hat on you know this shirt with flames on it and shit these crazy cowboy boots and he was just standing there with a big smile on his face and i was just like oh i mean this guy is like a guy i saw on the cover of modern drummer i couldn't believe it i was like i was like holy shit you're fucking viddie paul he just started laughing and you know it was super complimentary about the show and all that and then he invited us out uh he had his own club out there gentleman's club and we all went out there and he was nice enough i actually sat with him in his club for like 45 minutes like a total drum nerd and asked him all of these questions about um drum parts that he did and and um like who were the guys that he listened to and uh and you know i asked i was like you know who do you think one of the underrated drummers out there and he was like oh alex van halen you know and we went on and on about him it's kind of ironic because i really feel that vinny and dime bag were the eddie and alex i should say alex and eddie of their generation and um it just sucks man he was just such a nice guy and then after that um he probably came out to two or three other shows and he always was smiling always was just the greatest nicest guy and um it's i don't know one of the reasons why i never got into double bass playing was because so many people i just felt like once like all their fills everything was just their fucking feet and their hands stunk and it didn't groove it just was going

nine zillion miles an hour and you know it was impressive to look at but it didn't it didn't give me the chills didn't make me want to do it and he was a guy that changed that and i i when i listened to him play um my younger brothers were into pantera i fucked up i never saw him uh i remember one of my brothers went to go see him was telling me how amazing the show is but to be honest with you like i i just you know concerts were different back then you could get fucked up at a concert and there was no cell phone footage you just got fucked up and that was it and there was like mosh pits like it just it had changed and i got a little bit older i was in my mid-twenties basically when they came around and i had already started doing stand-up and shit and um you know i remember going to a couple of uh you know concerts like acdc and shit and people were doing blow and it was you know it was a little fucking you know there was you you had to be like a certain level of fucked up just so you could stay relaxed so you could kind of navigate it you know what i mean you couldn't be sitting there looking fucking nervous and i would you know and that was just at like acdc which was always like a fun show so like with this pantera came and it was a new level of aggression and anger certainly you know with phil singing i never heard anything like that and um you know just the way i was just i just had this feeling i was i was too afraid i was i'm not fucking gonna go down there my fucking orange hair trying to grow it out it just gets bigger and bigger and it looked like bernie from room 222 and there's a mosh pit i'm gonna get this you know how i always got over with people was making them laugh and the show was going to be too fucking loud so if they were just going to look at me the way i looked i mean i i just felt like it wasn't going to go well so i was a fan from afar and i really fucked up by not seeing those guys and um i remember when vinnie came down to the show he said hey you know i got this this new uh this new band, I think it was you know it was damage plan he said we'll play in new york and he said he goes he goes i'll hook you up i said really he said dude he goes you can fucking stand right behind me while i play the whole show and of course um i had some fucking road gig when they came to town i think florentine went because i remember talking to him about it i was so fucking envious that he got to go and i didn't get to go so i never saw him play live but um you know since doing that dean del rey show where i had to learn how to play uh i butchered the song but i tried to learn how to play that song by motley crew live wire which had the double bass you know basic thing in there since then i've just kind of gotten addicted to it and i was listening to all the pantera stuff in a whole another like level and um you know cowboys from hell and fucking um i'm broken and this love just

loving the the drum parts are just so fucking perfect in all of those and i was just talking i was talking to my drum teacher literally that day of how great um vinnie paul was um with his work in that band and and then like fucking was so weird that night then all of a sudden i got that text i couldn't fucking believe it and um super sad but um i don't know like the only good thing i could say is the got the mark that the guy left is he he won't be forgotten and obviously his brother hasn't been so anyways that's my little my little point of view on uh truly one of the great artists that i ever heard or or got to i don't know listen to whatever hang out with or anything so so that sucks and that's sad so i don't know where the fuck to go from here how do

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You know, can I talk about the Germans playing the Swedes in the fucking, do they play Sweden? Is that what it was? The shirts were the same color as their flags. So I always fuck that up, Sweden and Switzerland, because I'm an American and they never taught us geography like that. And I remember one time I did a gig in Sweden and i said hey it's great to be here in switzerland and they all laughed thinking i was joking and i honestly fucked it up and i just rolled with it i was just like hey just fucking with you they both start with sw but i i did the whole thank you cleveland whatever the fuck it was uh spinal tap thing i gotta get back there i haven't done um what would you call that hitler's ranch up there norway sweden and finland all those places when he used to look across the was it the baltic sea i don't know what the fuck it is just look across that water there

and that is what people should look like yeah frolicking in the grass um anyways um

although sweden did you know they they were non-committal in world war ii ended up being a great fucking move not socially it wasn't a good move but it was a great fucking move financially because just for the fact that they were still standing after world war ii never got bombed you know let the let the let the krauts fucking use their trains and go into norway um they stood there their fucking applebee's was still open at the end of it you know so i mean i if i guess you can learn something from sweden when when shit is hitting the fan and you need to stand up and make a stand uh don't let other people do it just kind of sit back and uh see who wins it and uh carry on anyways so the swedes are playing germany all right i'm mostly german so i usually root for germany um or whatever or i just root for an underdog like iceland i mean how you not fucking root for iceland and you know poland and shit like that you know i'm rooting for all any anybody other than the powerhouses that always seem to be in it i don't know shit about soccer so this is what it's gonna make it funny but anyway so i'm watching this fucking game and this swedish dude right yeah he's on a fucking breakaway going he's all alone right and then this guy in the german team a black dude which is hilarious you know what i mean i was always just sitting like like how conflicted would hitler be germany won but what's that's out there um he comes down and goes to not only went to like trip the guy he also like just pushed him from behind and like a fucking referee in the wwe somehow this guy didn't see it i mean i think it happened in the box in the painted area whatever the fuck they call it in that sport and i think that that should have just been one of those fucking penalty kicks where the goalie just dives and guesses one side um but anyways the swedes ended up going up one nothing the germans tied it up and then this guy he did the old bended like beckham he did the old fucking uh roundabout there i don't know how to talk about the sport uh but i gotta tell you something i actually i love making fun of soccer but i have to watch it in order to make fun of it and now having watched it i'm actually i kind of love it now and i kind of understand the beauty of the game finally i'm starting to get it and it is really cool that it is so hard to score that when it happens that people absolutely lose their fucking mind so i am on board i'm going to continue to make fun of it i had it on in the background and you know i had like fucking two weeks of mail here

that i was going through and um and i the amount of times that i just kept looking over at the tv because he announced he'd be like,

everybody's fucking there.

Oh.

What am I? Hey, hey, hey.

oh he's gonna be sick so i was sitting at the table going like oh my god oh something almost happened that's what it just seemed like um but it really is a great game uh gee bill you really you know you mean the rest of the world is right bill and you might be wrong on this one um but i missed it today a good friend of mine wrote in uh wrote in sent me a text and i'm in podcast mode she sent me a text message and asked me if i saw the um england play today i guess they played a great game and i heard mexico had a pretty scrappy game with the koreans i heard it was getting a little nasty there like the koreans were desperate like we don't give a fuck you know we can't score unless we have the ball and uh you know i guess mexico's fast that's what i know and i promise you this week i'm going to neglect all my responsibilities and i'm going to try to watch some of this shit because uh it is it is fucking once every four years the entire world gets together to play for an actual world championship is pretty that's pretty sick you know i just wish they could use their hands you just see that one cunt he fucking jumped over the guy and accidentally kicked him in the face i mean that's got to be like kicking a guy in the ground in the face in the realm of like losing your man card forever like who the fuck who does that with your shoes on at least you can be barefoot so maybe make your foot sting a little bit um i would be so disappointed if i had a fucking son and he ended up playing soccer first of all i'd be happy for his brain but you know if that's what he did you're gonna frolic down the field and jump in the air like some baby deer and then kick somebody in the face um no the guy does he takes out a yellow card i hate the way they take it out and the guy just stands up in front of the guy stupid thing up in the air like he's bidding on a fucking shelby um anyways congratulations to anybody who won uh i gotta get into it sorry i did watch the uh the f1 finally i was in town i got to watch i watched the french gp congratulations to lewis hamilton max verstappen was fucking hilarious in the press conference afterwards uh because vettel slammed into botas max was going you know i think he needs you guys should tell him he needs to adjust his style because they were giving max shit you know beginning of the year i forget he took out his own teeth took out uh what's his face there um daniel ricardo and they gave him all this shit does he need to adjust his style all these fucking assholes who don't drive for a living so he was trashing all of them going you should tell vettel yeah you should tell him he needs to adjust his style and then he shouldn't adjust it at all the way i didn't adjust my style and now here i sit three races in a row whatever on the fucking podium you fucking cunts kimmy

raking it they kept bringing up this is his 25th to 26th podium without winning a race it's like that's because fucking lewis hamilton went because lewis hamilton something i can't sleeping that's because fucking lewis hamilton wins every goddamn week okay that's like giving somebody shit who played when michael jordan was at the height of his powers he never got a ring nobody got a ring you know i got a ring elijah won when fucking jordan was playing basketball and then when he was a little out of shape the next year other than that everybody got shut the fuck down all right that's what happens so what what what needs to happen is the next uh the next great great driver has to come around and also for one my what i little know about the sport is they got to fucking get with either mercedes or ferrari basically mercedes it seems to have the fastest car out there because i think what's this i think daniel ricardo is gonna fucking he's gonna jump somewhere right that's what they're saying um i like both those drivers hey how about the yanks huh the americans what are we coming like sixth or seventh we got some points in our gray cars our overcast cars um what else did i do here oh i got back on my fucking diet this has been tough it's been tough to get back on the diet after all the grapes i fucking ate over in france you know had a couple of slip-ups but i'm back to the quinoa um hitting the elliptical oh god the first two minutes are getting on the elliptical at my age jesus christ after that i just kind of go numb and then it's fine i listen to my fucking songs and then it's over but um i finally got this shoulder thing beat and uh i have i think i have to join the gym though because in order to rehab my shoulder where i can do pull-ups again i gotta do those those fucking lat pull-downs with like 20 pounds and 30 and work my way up to my body weight and then i can attempt to do like a pull-up because what i did last time when i rehabbed it was i then got these like those helper bands you know that you stand on and make the pull-up easier but i was still you know trying to pull up you know 90 100 pounds with the weight and i fucking jacked my shoulder again so i gotta do what i don't want to do i gotta go join a fucking gym so i gotta find a local gym not a fucking uh a chain one because those are the ones they get your credit car and then you can't fucking get out of it ever tell you that time i went to bally's i joined bally's and it was like trying to fucking leave aol you just couldn't do it they'd be oh okay send in a hundred dollar cancellation fee and then i sent it in and then they go oh yeah but there's another there's another gym within like a five mile radius so you can't cancel like and i was what the fuck you just you just took a hundred dollars from me i should have sued

the fucking shit out of him and i and i didn't so i just didn't pay him i just you know i did i canceled the credit card it was the only way out and it was it was quiet for months i didn't hear from anybody and then all of a sudden this collection agency called me up you're like yes hi is william burr there please i'm like this is he they're like hey this is so-and-so from the so-and-so collection agency uh we bought your debt from bally's total fitness and would like to discuss it with you and i was just like well i don't know what the hell you did that for you know i didn't pay them what what the hell why would i pay you i don't even know you you know this is your business you actually earn a living doing this shit buying debt that other people can't fucking collect and so she was like you know giving me shit telling me i had to click i'm not doing it you know i go i have perfect credit i've paid everything okay i really don't think that someday in the future when i go to buy a house they're going to be like you know what we really want to let you know give you a couple hundred thousand dollar uh loan here but you owe three hundred dollars to a gym and she's like oh my god you know what we just had a client who just called us up and said please please please i have to pay off you know this 400 that i owe you because i'm trying to buy a house and they won't let me and i was like wow i go that's incredible that's almost the exact same scenario that i just presented to you it's almost like you made it up right and then she got fucking mad at me and then i just started hitting on her and she started saying it was harassment and i just hey how old are you you know you live around here you know you got a boyfriend or anything and she She ended up, hey, she got so mad, she hung up on me. You know? I'll probably get me-tooed over that.

And ever since then, I've been afraid of the phone. Every time it rings, I shake. My cell phone's always on silent.

Anyways. What do we got, 22 minutes in here? Is it time to fucking sing? And you know what? i gotta admit they just kept harassing me and harassing me i just got sick of it it was only 300 bucks so i just fucking paid them and um i shouldn't have there's a couple people that i shouldn't have paid and i did but i just i didn't like the uh the stress you know i couldn't put it into perspective and i just got sick of them calling me and i you know i had fun with them shit hitting on them or saying that i got into some horrible accident that's that was another the big one that i just said i don't know how many times i have to tell you i lost my leg in a car accident what kind of people oh my god sir i'm so sorry to hear that well are you this is like the third time i'm literally sitting here right now with my stump elevated so i don't bleed out because the sutures have come loose again and here you are harassing it's just what you do and then they would you know it was that thing um and i just ran out of ways to have fun with them. Uh, and then I think I just finally fucking paid him. Yeah. I've done that a couple of times. I had a fucking landlord that stole from my apartment or a manager stole from my apartment. I was on the road and I came back and, uh, I was on the road for three weeks. I was on the road for so long when I came back, like most of the water had evaporated out of the toilet and they had to check the smoke alarm. So legally they could go into my apartment when I wasn't there without my consent because if there was a fire it could affect the other units that's what they said and uh all of a sudden i noticed there was a camera missing they picked through my cds it was a hip-hop fan and um so i went down and i talked to the guy about it thinking that the manager was going to be like oh my god sir we got to get to the bottom of this he just says i don't appreciate you coming down or excuse you accusing me and he started I'm sorry. saying all this shit i have the power he kept saying i have the power so i was like oh yeah you got the power all right buddy and i just stood outside the office and anytime anybody new came i stood out there for two hours i was like yeah don't rent from these people they uh they stole from my apartment and all that's just like dude i'm a comedian i can do this all day i will be down here every single fucking day and it was bullshit because the next day i went on the road and i just i just didn't have it in me and um i shouldn't get hey hey come on in here the lovely nia everybody come here okay what's going on i was just talking to them about collection agencies and all of that type of stuff and all the crap i've gone through um i haven't had a lot of that stuff but you know did i ever tell you that i that time that woman called me up i know it was bally total fitness and they and i just started hitting on her and she got mad at me said it was harassment i ended up i ended up getting her to hang up that

was up on me that was like the highlight what's the matter with you oh you do um all right well i got like another 35 minutes here i'm just gonna read some advertising and i got some great questions from people this week all right do you want to go get some floss instead of just staring at me with like your fingers in your mouth oh is that not sexy you know what's sexy to me you know what's sexy to me at my age eight hours sleep that that turns me on all right all right listen i'd love to talk to you while you pick your teeth i got to keep the momentum them going here okay we have floss okay you think you're gonna get your fingers between your teeth get out of here i got it there you go tenacity are we gonna go uh yeah okay all right here we go jesus they always want to go somewhere you know what i mean all he wants a fucking house and then you get a one and then all they want to do is leave yeah boy it's un-fucking-believable i when is the when is the guy me too thing gonna fucking happen you know what i mean the reverse me too you know i take a lot of these feminists a little more seriously if they ever bitched about something that didn't affect their life you know what i mean you know what else we need to fix let me guess something that affects you you're self-centered fucking um all right let's uh let's move on here oh and then i'm going to tell you about this this music festival i went to yesterday definitely feeling my age at a music festival just having to stand standing too long throws out my back at this point i know it's my posture i I don't need all you non-doctors out there. Just save me your fucking remedies, all right? All right. Oh, here's something from a friend of mine, a buddy of mine. He actually died a couple years ago, and his widow is trying to finish a project that he started, which is a really great idea. It's called The Untold Legends of Hip Hop. And my buddy Pete Cumming, rest his soul, He was out there interviewing all of these legends from the early days of rap music, Curtis Blow, Russell Simmons, Spliff Star. Did I say that right? And they would do these two-minute little stories talking about the early days of hip-hop, and then they were animating it. And I saw some of the clips, and it looked fucking incredible, and they want to finish this thing. um so they have a startup if you're a fan of hip-hop music animation and all that stuff just cool stuff you like to learn about music the way i do uh the website is halo boost h-a-l-o-b-o-o-s-t

dot com and uh the project is the untold legends of hip-hop uh people go to halo boost and click on the featured project and then you go to the untold legends of hip-hop campaign donate a whatever you can do to try to get this thing made it's a really really cool project and um from one of the great people that i've met in this business um i'll definitely retweet the link and all that type of stuff so i appreciate it you know if you're you know if you're into it i'm not there's no pressure here all right all right here we go all right yesterday i went to a music festival all right i went to go see the pretenders when i was in england um the great Chrissy Hyde came down with some of her friends some of the band members and stuff that came down to my show that's the second time she's come to one of my shows over there so I was like next time you come to the U.S. I'm going to your show you got me I'm going and she said cool guess what I'm going to be there a few days after you come back so i was like all right done done deal so i figured they're gonna be playing like some theater or some shit out here you know i'm an old man i'll sit down in a seat get myself a sarsaparilla that'd be once in a while stand up and wave my fist and feel like i've contributed as an audience member but no they were doing a music festival and i get the email from her manager and there's a map and it's to the rose bowl i'm like holy shit who the fuck is on this bill and And it was it was Neil Young, Jack White, the pretenders, the Smiths and a bunch of other people that I'm sure I missed and that were fucking amazing. Right. So I'm like, wow, this is going to be I never saw a concert at at the fucking Rose Bowl. This is gonna be amazing. So, you know, I walk in there. I walked right where it's, you know, the Rose Bowl logo. I'm having all of these flashbacks of how many times I've been there hammered going to the Rose Bowl game. Kind of struck me as funny to be walking the golf course. it's a big golf course outside the stadium by the way um finally doing it sober so i'm walking in there and the first thing i try to go in the main entrance into the uh the rose bowl stadium they're like no no you got to go around you got to go around and i'm like of course you got to go around they always make you go the longest fucking possible way why do i got to go around why the fuck do i got to do that you fucking assholes and then i go in there and then we got to make a left turn and then a right now i'm going to cut across the bridge the stadium's right fucking there and i go to go across the bridge i'm sorry sir this is one way it's a it's one way for walking are you worried there's gonna be a head-on collision where the fuck do i have to go you gotta go up there right and i'm losing my shit and then i'm looking around there's all these tents and all this shit and all of a sudden it finally fucking dawns on me that the concert is not in the rose bowl it's all over this giant golf course so the whole time i'm trying to go in the stadium there's nothing going on in the stadium fucking moron right and uh and also i'm

trying to keep my cool because somebody told me the other day said like dude you do not handle stress well and that of course hurt my ego i'm like what are you talking about i don't handle stress well i'm a stand-up comedian i've performed at madison square garden i dealt with doing five minutes of stand-up on on the dave letterman show when it was like 30 below with the air conditioner okay one of the most intimidating things ever and i was able to set aside that fucking stress and get through it and uh then the person's like all right all right jeez you know i'm just saying you know and then i realized it's like you know thinking about it the next day actually snapping again over something fucking stupid that of course five minutes later i figured out probably three minutes later i actually realized that this person was right that i i it's not i don't handle inconvenience well and then i turn it into like what's going on in hawaii right now with the lava pouring out and all this shit so i don't know i've done this so many times the last couple of days you know except for at the festival when they i i was doing well with the stress until they told me the bridge where people were walking was one way you know i just all right i mean if i even say that one more time you guys i'm gonna lose my shit again so anyways i drove in traffic yesterday i was completely relaxed but i've done this a million fucking times a million times is somebody says something to me about it it makes me want to change and then for two three days i'm okay and then gradually i just go back to the way i was you know flipping the fuck out so i think i'm gonna start talking about it on the podcast the way i do with my boozing because i keep my boozing in check to tell you guys if i'm on the wagon i'm off or whatever and then you guys give me shit hey billy booze bag hey billy fucking fat tits and all that shit it makes me all right fuck these people i'm going back to crushing waters um so anyways i'm i finally i figured out that this festival is uh outside and now you know i don't know where the fuck i'm going and the pretenders are going to be on they were on in the afternoon 5 25 right right at dusk well should have been dusk different time of year would have been dusk right and um i was looking like what the fuck do i do here i gotta get some booze right so you know they're doing these little fucking you know they're not pouring on home pours so i got like two whiskeys and i'm walking to my stupid little cup right and i see this fucking guy even older than me he must have been like 63 he's actually still in pretty good shape but he had the long gray hair he had his shirt off you know just that guy he's been going to concerts forever you know and the pretenders start up and i'm trying to find where the uh you know the best place where i can watch it and he starts doing like that you know

like that that fucking hippie surfer spiritual white guy dancing you know there's a touch of tai chi in there you know he's doing that fucking dance and you know it's the same dance he does to all music i don't even know what it is and they always have like this look on their face when you look in this smiling they always look at you like they have life figured out like they know what what makes they like hey man like you know they're gonna say all this spiritual bullshit to you that you could find on the side of a fucking dixie cup you know um then whoever that guy is i want to thank you i fucking was laughing my ass off uh just the fact he had his shirt off i gotta sit he was still doing the i gotta admit he was still doing the push-ups so he didn't have the man booze but still it's like come on man there's young people here they don't want to see that cover yourself up this whole fucking pride in your age and everything you know or how you look is all well and good but you know you know what has kind of disappeared is common fucking courtesy for your fellow man good lord you know i just blows my mind it really doesn't it doesn't because you know what i think that guy was a baby boomer you know and there's never you know you know right before the baby boomers sorry i gotta plug my headphones back in right before the baby boomers was the greatest generation according to tom brokaw they're the greatest generation like i think the baby boomers are like the most selfish like maybe because there's so many of them that they had such an influence on the culture and they think every fucking thing that happened during their time was just so goddamn important they're just i don't know i think and i think that they would just sew up their own ass about themselves that now that they're old and all wrinkly they just can't they can't they just can't let it go can't let it go you know i mean i'm like a lot of you i'm fighting aging by trying to to work out and stay in shape and eat right and all that type of stuff but yeah i stay covered up i have empathy for people in their 20s they they don't want to see it so anyways um i go by the spiritual dancing guy and i warm my way up as close to the stage as i possibly can and i have to tell you something man chrissy hind the pretend is fucking murdered she sounded like she's once again two weeks in a row i've seen great concerts she sounded as great as the albums that i grew up listening to and um the song she opened with was on her her new album it was just about being a loner and liking not being in a relationship and shit and uh the lyrics are hilarious and i i'm almost a little ashamed at like how much

i relate to the song i told her afterwards i was like i fucking love that song um but they just fucking murdered and she's such a badass total rock star like the real deal paid her dues all that shit you just see all of that when you watch her perform it was tremendous and she gets off stage and then next up was jack white jack fucking white right i get to see him come out with his new lineup the new sound that he has he was fucking unbelievable you know there's another guy if you go see him it's like when have you ever seen that guy even remotely take a show like half a second off during a show forget about a show that guy never is the antithesis of phoning it in whenever i see that guy perform live i i always get inspired as a comedian like i i could be working a little harder i could be trying to give people a better show here so um his set ended and um i walked over um to go see the smiths who i remember my one of my brothers listened to them everybody i knew listened to better music than i listened to in the 80s i just was listening to like i mean i listened to some good shit but i was listening to a lot of fucking hair metal you know which is why i missed out on pantera and fucking all those bands that came out like i was it was i was i was too far in the other direction like every rose has its door you know then i was like people equals shit right i'm just like what the fuck is this this is you know i'm as cynical as the next guy but jesus christ that's another thing i started listening to that iowa album that slipknot shit and like i always liked the uh the heretic thing people equal shit i was that was kind of funny um but i never liked i don't know it was just too much going on and now i'm listening to it fucking 20 years after it came out going like this fucking album is unbelievable um but i mean you know there's only so much fucking music you can you're gonna miss something right i gotta forgive myself on some level so anyways uh i went over and i saw the smiths and i remember there one that one song that crossed over that even like a fucking mainstream charlie like me heard where it was that stop the messing around stop it's up in your future right anyways i watched those guys that band fucking murdered and did the impossible i felt it had like 10 000 white people all dancing for their entire fucking set it was ridiculous um how hard they killed and then they ended this this set in such a cool way they had this crowd do a sing-along

as the band started playing a little more quiet a little more quiet a little more quiet and and the lead singer was like roasting people in the crowd going great job great job you don't sound that good you sound like you got bronchitis and everybody's laughing and then the band just sort of just gradually stopped playing and the the crowd one more time sang uh what is it the chorus and then they said thanks a lot good night it was so fucking cool and um and then neil young starts playing now you got to walk across the golf course again and my back was fucking killing me and i was jet lagged and all of that shit and i just i hate to say this i've never seen neil young in concert i just i couldn't make it you know and i had to get home you know i got a kid's getting up and shit and it's just like i don't want to fucking see neil young standing outside with my back fucking you know talking to me next to some fucking 60 year old guy doing his tai chi fucking hey man dance i want to see this guy in a theater so i i stood there and i watched him play one song um so i could say or at least most of the first song he didn't even sing it was just like him playing guitar and shit i think his experience was like all right i gotta get all those people that were just over at the smith's time to come over i'm sure people's feet hurt and their backs hurt i mean he's probably doing me a favor but i just you know i don't know i just said to my friends i was like guys i gotta i gotta go home i i can't um and i ubered here and there's just gonna be a thousand fucking people too and i just know how i'm wired i have to find that one-way bridge that's gonna allow me to get the fuck out of here and i actually left um during one of my favorite singers of all time during his fucking set but anyways it's a great show and all that if you're younger definitely check it out if you're older definitely stretch you know try to keep your shirt on um i saw these two people oh my god these two fucking whales these two fat people like one of those fat couples and they were just asleep on their picnic blanket like both in like the spooning position but faced opposite it was like a fat ying yang they were just laying there you know what they look like you know like at the zoo when they tranquilize like a one of those big cats one of those predators and then it's just like all right now that we knocked it out we need to bring a fucking machine over here to pick this thing up it weighs like 600 fucking pounds um and i don't know they they were oddly adorable like i was being like it must be fun you know what i mean like you like those commercials come

out and you see like domino's or like papa geno's will have like a fucking some deal like get two pizzas for seven bucks and if you get that we'll throw in the fucking chocolate chip cookie pie with the whipped cream and ice cream right and i always make fun of that shit and i always make fun of it because there's a big part of me that just wants to order that and take the ride you know have the salt fucking take me down to the ground right now there is i think i'm gonna fucking you know sink into the rug like that dude in train spotting then you start eating the fucking cookie pie and you start coming back like hulk hogan you know when he when they went to drop his hand that last time and it didn't go down and all of a sudden you eat the cookie thing and you start shaking your head you start strutting around right but you don't you don't and they get they get to live that life they get to sit there like i bet they got one of those you know those you know those big fucking couches that on either side there's the recliner but it's still like a sofa i bet they got one of those right and then in the middle it comes down remember that it was basically it was a fat fuck couch they used to make this thing before like the biggest loser and everything came out it was like catering for people who were fat fucks or were their goal in life was to become a fat fuck because on either side of this big couch like you you could pull a lever and your feet could go up and then in the middle this thing would come down there's a place for your drinks and like a fucking pizza and you just sit there with you with your girlfriend you know watching the tv with your feet up you got the ac cranking just destroy like just destroying the fucking planet in your absolute like utopia i mean i don't know if you guys believe in an afterlife and which i thought about a lot when vinnie passed you know there was all that talk about now he's reunited reunited with his brother and i i was definitely thinking you know i really hope that that happens you know um so let's say that it does okay if you're a fat couple and you have one of those couches and you're watching one of your favorite shows on netflix or hulu whatever the fuck you do and you're sitting there with your feet reclined eating a pizza and you got that cookie fucking pizza thing coming next drinking your favorite drink it's just like what could the afterlife offer you that's going to be any better than that if you truly love one another you know when you got the ac going you know you got your toes out i mean i don't know i think i'm selling a lifestyle right now here i think i'm selling some couches um anyways but i had a great time

and uh if you get a chance you know like i said definitely check out that festival and i feel really bad that i had to leave i left during neil young the fuck is wrong with me i have to i have to fix that in the future by seeing him but like you know i want to see that guy like did you ever see when he did that film he was at the rhyming that's what you want to see fucking neil young yeah you see him at this i'm not trying to not sell this festival but i'm just saying look i'm old i need a chair okay there i said it all right i used to be able to stand evidently i can't any longer i was able to kind of work my way out of it i know it's it's my fucking posture posture stinks you know it's all those years of fucking hating yourself you know fucking slinking down i'm an albino stop looking at me all right all right we got some great emails this week the first one vinnie paul hey bill by now i'm sure that you heard that vinnie paul passed away last friday uh much like you talked about malcolm young after his death i feel like vinnie was another one who just lived an amazing life one of the great drummers to ever get behind the kit i gotta tell you like all everything that i saw off on twitter from all these big time rock stars over and over and over again other than stating the obvious what a monster amazing drummer he was everybody just talked about what a nice guy he was um anyways he said i was too young when pantera was leaving their mark on the metal scene through the 90s so i never got to see pantera play live before they disbanded however i did get to see vinnie play with hell yeah back in the day uh back in 2016 at uh rockville festival in jacksonville florida he was quite simply incredible oh this is a cool story i read this before um the podcast something i never do but i saw it said vinnie paul so i wanted to read it uh he said i remember being pretty close to the front of the stage and Vinny was the first band member to come out before the show started when he stood up behind the drum kit he had this smile on his face like he was just really happy to be there he twirled his drumstick at the whole crowd so uh crowd saluted by putting his fist in the air and then the madness began but for most of the show I couldn't take my eyes off of him because of how good he was oh that's awesome and even though he was that good the biggest memory i have of him was that he was smiling the whole show like he just loved playing and see seeing people enjoy themselves as much as he was he will be missed by more you will be missed by more than we know i don't know if that sentence makes sense um if you remember please crank a pantera song up as loud as you can today i'm sure vinnie will hear it best which is um hey i um best which is incompetent it said um well i was already listening to the fucking shit every day anyways you know what you know it's a great album great live album is there 101 proof um it's such a badass album

one of my favorite things is when they play i'm broken and phil as phil's doing the intro video vinnie's already counting in the song just how tight they were last song of the knots called i'm broken i'm having a good time Thank you. all right coco the gorilla oh i saw this too that fucking sweetheart of a gorilla um that i did the bit about uh hey bill i saw you you live last year and i love your special where you talk about teaching gorillas sign language i was watching clips of coco interacting with people like with flea from the chili peppers and robin williams i watched those i was still nervous i just saw flea laying down and there's like a fucking gorilla right next to him um i don't know i get you're shooting the shit with it you can kind of i don't know um i'm it made me nervous you know i wonder if it made me nervous just because i'm such a big fan of flea and i didn't want to see anything happen to him like it was a bass player from a band i didn't give a shit about and be like oh look at this guy this could get interesting um anyways it was it was charming as hell i was wondering if you ever sat down with coco if ever given a chance well no not after the bit i did they probably this guy's a fucking asshole uh you could have asked him why the chicken crossed the road and wait for a chuckle or try to explain humor to him um if i ever sat down with that gorilla i in that thing actually if that wasn't a party trick if it actually knew how to do sign language i imagine it would sign to me you seem nervous and i would say it back yeah well you're a fucking gorilla um anyways kid show recommendation um hey there billy barnacle balls i want you to i want if you want a show to watch with your girlfriend check out i thought it said octo nuts like something with eight balls octo nuts is it an octopus in outer space i watched it with my girls and kids and i actually learned some stuff all right well that was about as vague as the uh wasn't that was that movie way back in the game the silent game or the the something game or the something or other i remember david spade had that joke i'm gonna tell the i'm gonna tell you guys the secret of the crying game and he goes overrated all right hair transplant depression oh no hey old freckle dick i'm a 21 year old man i recently got a hair transplant surgery well you must be a hairy motherfucker man you went bald that or soon

um the surgery went great good good for you but i now hate that i have a huge scar on the back of my head i don't they do it now where they just vacuum the shit out so you don't have to have that smile on the back of your head he goes every time i cut my hair you can see it could you give me some advice on what i should do well yeah don't cut your hair so fucking short now that you got it back on top of your head grow your hair out you'll be fine that was an easy one what are you doing you got hair plugs you had them hack the back of your head then you got fucking hair plugs and now you're shaving your head down to the point where you can fucking see it anyways what was the point um i don't know i would just i guess i would just grow my hair out a little bit i don't think it has to be that long to cover the scar as long as it's long enough that you can't see your scalp i think you should be all right right anyways pitbull problems dear guillaume burr i'll rest here facile oh billy easy shave butter oh facile is face right no that's easy facile is easy i don't know i have no idea i suck at that shit as a former pitbull owner i'd like to ask your advice on a problem i'm having my wife comes home from a my wife comes from a large family and they get together at her parents every month for sunday dinner and family hangouts the last two times my brother-in-law has brought his recently adopt his recently adopted pit bull it's a rescue dog and he doesn't think it was abused or used to fight because it's so good with kids according to him it's a large family so there there are about 15 kids ages 3 to 11 running around and my four-year-old daughter is one of them she loves dogs and likes this one in particular but both times he's brought my the dog my daughter has come running to me in tears because it got over excited and jumped onto her too rough well that's the thing about pitties man they're just a big fucking awesome ball of muscle and when i used to wrestle with my dog i used to have to lay my neck over the top of its neck he had to get inside because was she was lightning quick and she would turn around and her head was like a wrecking ball god i miss that fucking dog i still get to see her every couple months but i i really miss that um anyway she goes i don't hate dogs but i don't love them either and i don't trust pit bulls well you have to validate all of that okay to be quite honest i'm kind of afraid of them i never forgive myself if something happened to my daughter if i say something to my in-laws but i'm too stressed out to enjoy the family gathering because i'm hovering over it constantly so my wife's response has been to treat me like i'm overreacting and dismiss my concerns

it's bothering me so much i've considered just keeping my daughter home next time but am i making too big a deal about this i think it's a recipe for disaster i don't feel like it's my place to tell my brother-in-law to keep it at home and my wife's not supporting me please tell please let me know if you have any ideas uh merci a va va to faire for two thank you uh thank you and i'm imagining that saying go fuck yourself um i know advise and go to is you fair for three all it anyways um i would say this dude you have to like if that's what you're feeling you don't have to tell anybody to leave a dog home you just have to communicate this to people all right say you don't hate dogs you don't love them either and you don't i don't trust pit bulls okay and just tell them that rather than be like keep that fucking lunatic dog home just tell them that all right and i would sit down with your wife and say that you know i don't feel like you're hearing me all right she's my daughter and i'm concerned and i have to be honest you know if you had these concerns i would listen to them and you're not validating what i'm feeling and it's really bothering me and i can't enjoy when i go over there i don't want to be this killjoy but i'm hovering over our kid and i just you know it's bothering me you married me you love me i'm telling you something's bothering me we need to talk about you can't go there because can you fucking talk to me about this that's what i would do keep it in the register i was just in all right and don't stop having the conversation until there's a solution that you're satisfied with it's your daughter okay and uh you know dogs are abused all right and if a dog snaps you know it's a bad thing around a kid and then when you have a pit bull the thing about a pit bull is its capability you know what i mean some dogs they're like a little water pistol and other dogs are like a fucking bazooka that dog is a bazooka so not saying the breed is bad i'm just saying if somebody fucked that dog up and it does snap the results are you know gonna be really bad so and you have to address that that's being or you're being a responsible parent and these people need to listen to you and uh you need to speak up you got to stand up for yourself there buddy boy that's my advice all right good luck okay lady lady manager crossing the line dear bill or william billow will i'm a 23 23 year old lady who just started working in

an office for i love when women write in it's always guys god bless you for writing it who just started working in an office for a big company it's a boring job but while i figure out what to do with my life after graduating it's all right well there you go that's not bad you're 23 you got your whole life ahead of you uh i got promoted with the recommendation from my former manager this 40 something year old woman who i thought was quite nice uh now that she's not my manager anymore although she's still senior to me she has been a little inappropriate with me after an office christmas party me and my colleagues went to a club uh i came out of the club bathrooms and she was waiting she didn't even come with us that's weird she waved me over to sit next to her and asked me if i was gay i said no i'm not and she went fine and didn't speak to me for the rest of the night all right well she needs a better opening line she's a little blunt you know she's in business she got right down to brass tacks uh she said i was a bit uncomfortable with the question because what business is it of hers oh i thought she was gay and she wanted to hook up with you because what business is it of hers so i told one of my work pals what had happened uh they had been at the company longer than me and went wow you're her new one then oh boy oh gee gee I asked them what they meant and a guy said well I mean look at her right now she's filming you and she sure enough what and sure enough she was she was when I turned around she hit her phone as I was a little bit too drunk and under the influence I was already paranoid so I decided to leave because I felt so gross since then she's pulled me aside to say that i look delicious and scrumptious oh what a creep whenever she sees me at the end of the day she taps her cheek and demands a kiss oh yeah what the fuck is this person she ain't oh that's that's like a gross relative she asked a girl who works for me to take pictures of me and to send it to her when we're at a pub i consider myself an assertive girl but there's something about how public about her actions which makes me so timid so i go along with it no don't do that you think you would think that because she's not my manager anymore now that i've been promoted it wouldn't be a problem but it is because my new manager is her best friend i don't want to cause a rip in this new job but it's really stressing me out am i within my rights to tell her to stop absolutely you are how do i tell her that no i don't want to kiss her on

cheek every time i see you without looking like a bitch listen uh the way you're looking at this is is fucking crazy you're you're sitting here looking at like like you're being an asshole you're not this person is completely out of line she said a few of my friends think it's a funny situation but i don't and if you don't then it isn't you got to validate that if this was a mail manager he'd be reported i love your stuff so much and i wish i could come back to you'd come back to glasgow someday from a fellow fellow pasty redhead um all right there fellow fucking pasty um this is what you got to do she asked for a kiss you tell her no and i just stare at i mean listen you have all the fucking power in the world or if you just want to go to the manager and say listen i don't want to cause some me too scandal or any of that shit can you keep this weird old fucking bag away from me and tell her to be professional i mean that's the proper way to do it those are the proper channels but i have to do it that way do it that way okay do it that way and and and document that this has been happening you have all these witnesses about them filming her and all of this type of shit if they ever tried to fire you i mean you don't have a problem this this kind of thing needs to stop and uh you know in a perfect world you'd go to her because i don't like that whole talent on her thing but that's how the business world works um you know in a perfect world when she fucking goes like pointed to her cheek that's right where you should punch her fucking blast her right in her fucking face yeah i mean if you're ever at a bar again and she's doing that shit i would fucking dump a drink right over her fucking head like that's just creepy behavior i would just um you got to stop this timid thing because if you're timid someone like that is it's gonna it's like a magnet they're gonna go right towards you you got to step up to her and tell her what a fucking creep she is and if i catch you taking video or or pictures of me or any of this other fucking creepy sexual shit that you're doing i'm gonna report you okay and you think you're to get together with your fucking manager friend okay all i gotta do is go on social media and your fucking world is over where the fuck is my phone what the fuck is anyways but don't do that that's all anger listen you but you know you're you seem like a really like overly nice people pleasing person at 23 which i was where you're like is it me is it the way i'm dressing that's attracting this it's not you it's that

person okay so whatever the fuck i said before i got upset uh just go listen i got an issue and don't be listening i don't want to call you anything go in there fucking flat-footed and look right at that person and say listen i got an issue with her she's coming at me in weird sexual ways and I'm getting sick of it and I'm sick of it. I want to come here and go to work and do a great job. I don't need that.

Okay, I would like to file an official report on her harassing me. Okay, and that's the deal, and I want it to stop. It stops right now. Are we clear? That's it.

That's it. There's no, don't go in there, fucking hat in hand. You don't have to be a cunt. Just go in and just say, look, this is happening, and it needs to stop immediately. Okay?

Well, I mean, what if she just flashes her tits at you? I mean, what the fuck's he going to say? You can't say that. It's over, right? All right, good luck to you. Okay, stay out of the sun, and the rest of you, go fuck yourselves, and I'll check in on you on Thursday. Rest in peace, Vinnie Paul.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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