Muse

Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's Name Your Price tool for years. With the Name Your Price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises. Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law.

All right. Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Phil Burr, and it's time for another edition of the Thursday afternoon. just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And obviously, if I'm on video and you watch my podcast, listen to it or whatever, you know if I do video, that means I have a very special guest, which today is no different. We have the lead singer of the band, The Strokes. Julian Casablanca is here. And to promote their brand-new album that comes out in two days, Reality Awaits. Look at that Marlboro Man cover. Julian, what's going on, man?

Bill, so nice to meet you. An honor, really, to meet you.

It's an honor to meet you, too. When I was in New York, right when you guys hit out of Brooklyn and all of that, I always wondered if you were playing, your band was playing some dump around the corner from where I was telling my jokes back when New York was starting to get a little polished up then. It's been a little bed, bath, and beyond for a while.

which i found they've left now they got no yeah no i remember your kind of a scent kind of coming up around like seeing you on like conan o'brien and stuff back in the day and oh you actually

that's amazing yeah i used to do conan when he was on after what was it the tonight show when he had the blue couch and all of that the original one and glory the heyday yeah and those shows are all going away now they're trying to make it political but i i think they're not making any money because everybody's uh watching people i don't know do uh you know they do a little snap and then they change their clothes and then they go out for the night you

know yeah that's the new art yeah i mean the internet obviously you have such access to everyone it's not as exclusive to see a movie star i guess talking well that's interesting

because i wanted to ask you i'm like a total music nerd like uh guitar center dad thinking if i buy the same guitar you play i'll somehow magically be as good as you and the songs will

just come out i'm going to talk about you're an amazing drummer you're super legit i don't know

i'll take it i think i'm good for a comedian um and you're good for a drummer dude you're

you're good i was like really impressed oh whenever i saw it years ago and i was like damn

what the wow yeah well were you in a band oh yeah i i totally failed i never got out of my parents basement it was basically who went back in the day whoever had the drums their parents were obviously cool with you making all that noise everyone would just leave their gear so Everybody came over and jammed at my place. And I don't think only one time when I finally took him out of the house and actually jammed with somebody else. It was another comedian. I'd already started doing comedy. And I think I went over Dane Cook's mother's house and dad's house and I set him up in his basement. And we for half a second thought about maybe putting together some sort of musical act to do colleges.

wait you were a musician with dame cook before no no no i had gotten into comedy at that point

so i'd already like real i knew early on like one of the one of my talents is i can realize quickly what i suck at that i'm not going to get good at so like when i would go to well when i when i would go to like a music store um you know this is before they had like the guitar centers norfolk county music i would go there and i would see some eight-year-old kid play drums now i could play better than him because i was 20 but he was already his approach to it he was coming up with his own stuff he was already expressing himself

he had his own ideas and if i took the same approach to stand up that i did the drumming i would have been a joke thief because all i did was just listen to the album and and play exactly what they played and if i missed the cymbal hit in the song i thought i played it wrong so yeah i wasn't i was never going to get past you know wedding cover band sort of okay i mean i

don't believe that but okay that's cool i mean you're an amazing i don't know what you call it's like a philosopher more than comedian but well yeah no my comedy i i stand by my comedy

it's the drumming that we're discussing here but we're not here to talk about my hobby we're here to talk about this amazing new album that you uh that you guys just put out comes out in two days uh reality awaits and uh first of all thank you for the the the lp version of it and i love how old school like the cover is why won't this thing zoom in and and you open it up see this is how we used to enjoy music so i was listening to it and i'm looking at the ferrari on the inside and i'm looking at the pictures of you guys like recording the album and everything and it was just like a great experience so i wanted to ask you like you know 20 some odd years in when you guys like go into the studio or whatever do you guys is it however whoever comes up with an idea do you guys kind of have like a sort of a process at this point or is the process no process how does it basically first of all how do you guys even like go hey man

you know we should probably put something else out um probably when our bank accounts run out uh is that what you got you guys compare what are you down to well i just think we're always just kind of we it's like a a sense like we should tour and like you kind of should put out an album before you tour yeah i mean it's not as unromantic as that i mean i'm always writing stuff i think um we take i don't know with this thing i think rick rubin was involved so i think the opportunity to do that um i don't know i brought in a bunch of songs we'd had weird inner band discussions about publishing and stuff so i guess i was bringing in most of the songs at this point um for whatever reason but yeah we we jammed a lot rick told us he wanted us to kind of jam endlessly so he would just we had songs and we would start with you know we started with five or six songs I can't remember exactly and then and we would just play every day for like two or three hours and kind of where was this that you were playing uh this was um this was in Costa Rica actually sorry I got confused because the first time we did it was in LA but

sorry that's amazing so you just went down to Costa Rica and played music every day for a

we were living recording i was sleeping in mel gibson's bed he wasn't in it but um hey man however you live your life that's you know i'm not not here to judge i mean i don't know rick was in costa rica and he was saying we should come there and he invited us and they had this house and yeah it was pretty insane i mean we're gonna i can send you the the video that were gonna i think put out in a day or two um of just like a montage of us it was pretty surreal i mean we're just literally outdoors by like an infinity pool on top of a mountain recording and incredible rick is there kind of you know orchestrating us and stuff and um

does that make it harder when it's a i mean that that would be the kind of place i would want to smoke a cigar or join to have a drink and all of a sudden it's like wait we're here to work everybody you know that's got to be a little maybe a little difficult when it's no no it was great

it was fun i mean we did both i think uh you know we we had plenty of time to just kind of hang we would jam for a long time but it was it was pleasant it was fun it was i don't know i guess

that makes sense because i want to say acdc recorded back in black and like the caribbean or something you wouldn't know listening to that album that that's where they were at

yeah i mean you could probably hear the sunbeams creep in a little bit but i think most of the songs we had worked on beforehand in new york so yeah that i think where you record music generally affects how it sounds though so all right well i wanted to talk to you about some

of the songs on here and I don't know if I'm projecting because I am

you know i'm trying to you know i grew up in the analog world and watched it go into the digital world and i'm finding myself trying to go back you know i drive just old cars now i don't have any like gps on them and i try to like you know i bought like a newer ford truck and then once i synced my phone to it it was talking to the truck trying to figure out where i lived and sending it to ford and i'm like just you know you get a refrigerator it has a fucking camera in it you open it and it plays a little bit of music it's supposed to make you feel calm it's like who the fuck is watching me you know making a grilled cheese sandwich here it's fucking weird so that i don't know i was reading the lyrics and listening to going shopping the second song on the second side and i the way i interpret that song was somebody you know who didn't want to leave society but just couldn't relate to it anymore and was maybe going out to the country and i don't know just kind of how i i don't know if i was like projecting that but i was hoping there was somebody else out there that felt the way i did

about the direction we're headed um yeah i think well especially doing the video it almost took on like more of a took on maybe like a slightly different meaning with the video where it kind of it went to um like it's not like the consumer's fault necessarily but um you know being blind to certain things is is uh sorry to go back to the meaning of it um i would say i yeah i definitely had a phase where i left the city and and all that and i had done it in previous songs so i think it was just kind of subconsciously coming out um um yeah personally

i would love to leave the city but i would miss everybody and there's so much going on and i just you know you live in the middle of nowhere i just feel like then you got to deal with the middle of nowhere worldview i just feel like what's that middle of nowhere it's like uh something fucked up homophobic or racist is coming in three two one you try to keep it light you know you talk about how beautiful it is out there and how it's nice to be out of the rat race and everything but then i don't know it just i'm not saying everybody but like the level that it can go sideways it just doesn't seem to be a uh I don't know like like if you live in this city you know you got these people you see you know you're going to see a human being take a shit I mean it's just going to happen right so like you start looking at like Wyoming it's like all right you know that looks pretty cool and then you get out there and it's just like you know they live on a different planet for better or for us I'm not saying it's all bad I will say I did wyoming one time and i ordered eggs over easy and they were borderline see-through so i need to go back there again because i kind of judged them on that i'm about to drive through there um

oh man i there's a lot of themes yeah i mean the thing it's like it's not the the corporations or the consumerism that's bad it's the kind of it's like just the kind of being lied to i think that's kind of attached to it that's kind of dark so it's um it's not like i don't know it's it's it's trying to to kind of say a heavier message but in like a light relatable way that isn't like so kind

of maybe intense and gloomy because no i appreciated that because i don't like when movies make up my mind for them for me or whatever so that's why that's why i was asking because it was sort of like you know up to your own opinion or whatever um how long did it take for you to record this

album um i mean the recording itself was probably a month or two but three years to get it out the

door what does that feel like when you do the final take on an album because i know personally just acting acting's the big thing for me because that's like i feel like when i'm working musician hours where it's like really long days and stuff and when i rap on something i just feel like a battleship i didn't get fired people like what i did and i just feel like i just you know i did some little really had a good time a couple weeks in ireland and um

that

death of a salesman no no no no no no this is a little indie movie called uh bender okay it's not gonna come out to like well we got to get distribution but it should come out next year but the reason why i signed up to do it aside from loving the people that were involved was it was one of those coming of age movies it was kind of like what i grew up on and like the adults are dealing with all this serious stuff and the kids are just trying to get laid you know it's one of those things and it you know also took place in like Dublin in 1979 so but anyway I just remember as much fun as I had there is that thing when you get on the other side of it and you're done with it and you have like you know I had like I go back on the road as a comedian this weekend but I've had like two weeks off and I've really just tried to like sit on my back porch and just enjoy a cup of coffee before it gets crazy again and I was wondering if that is like is that a similar when you guys you know do it you got the last okay it's the last take have fun we got it this is the last song and then you guys have it is is there that sense of relief or is it more like fuck now we got to promote it and tour i mean it it didn't really it's not as

organized as that at the end i mean my one memory of the end was the last song on the record was kind of recorded on the last night was like a jam that was probably my favorite moment so that was kind of a magical last take vibe um but in general we just kind of the songs were all in a state of complete disarray and required assemblage so it didn't feel like oh yeah so those months of basically it's like it's like making a movie and editing it you know what i mean it's like you finish filming and you're like well that was the easy part um now i

need to oh no dude yeah i directed one movie and the editing process i almost lost my mind like i'm not i think i'm a different person than i was a few years ago i had like this sort of breakthrough where i got past my anger but i was holding on to like 50 years of shit from my childhood and so i've always had problems focusing like i was super slow reader every sentence would remind me of something else and i by my eyes would continue reading but yeah but i wouldn't retain any of it all that i've become a much more chill person i i but anyway i just remember being in the edit room and you know it was funny my editor editor uh uh patrick don vito would be all right go take a walk they would literally just have me like go walk around the building i would walk around the block or we do a little walk and talk smoke of cigar and then i would come back in i just i just couldn't fucking sit in there any longer staring at 58 takes or whatever so uh i will say listening to your album um as much as i loved uh the second third and fourth song i mean i loved all of it the second third fourth song really grabbed me on the first side but my favorites were the last two songs on the album so and it's also a nice thing where you know you can it's something else that i missed from the analog years it's a band would put out an album that you can just listen front to back and trying the whole time it isn't like okay here's this single and let's just give you a bunch of bullshit so um i just want to let you know that all the hard work you guys put into this it's it's really a it's a great album

thanks yeah the last two songs that's i think before last is kind of the the the costa rica energy seeped in to the music there a little bit and uh and then the last song is that last night so yeah those are two organically in costa rica creations all right well whatever yes all right

Now I got to ask you, I got to ask you about the tour bus here that you're sitting on. Are you guys already touring?

Yeah. Yeah, we're, I'm in Denver right now.

And so when did you wrap on this, recording this album and how soon before the tour gets started?

Oh my God. I mean, we were mixes, debates, like we were basically mixing like a month. I think that's why the record got moved back. is because, yeah, it was just like mixing, mixing stuff. So we really went down.

How do you guys do now with the band arguments? Do you know each other well enough where you're just like, all right, I'm not going to say it this way, so.

I mean, yeah, I think for most people involved, it's, I think we've come a long way And I think we know how to talk to each other, you know, pretty respectfully. And, yeah.

I think I mean, you know, that is a great thing, by the way. You know, I got some years on you. It is the the amount of the older you get, the more arguments you can avoid and you still learn how to be heard. Yeah. Like me and my stand up friends that I started with in our 20s, like we almost killed each other in our 20s. And then we sort of bottomed out in our 30s and our 40s. We started to figure it out. And now we don't even argue anymore. anymore like you just sort of like well we don't have to do it the way you guys did it like we you know when i went on tour maybe i would bring like one person with me but a few times i've gone out on a bus with like four or five other comedians and then you quickly realize like okay this is the late guy this is the pussy guy this is the drug guy sometimes usually that's the same person and uh yeah i went with one time this the late guy he would always miss the car ride to the airport so then he would book another car and i finally said to him i'm going dude you're costing us money and he and he didn't know he goes dude the tour pays for it i had to be like buddy we're the tour like me and this other guy just paid two-thirds of that car like that should be billed to you so um at what point did you guys uh i'm glad you didn't do the therapist thing i've seen bands do that like just bring in some who's that giant guy with the big head always yelling at people in those conference rooms tony tony something or other just tony uh tony robbins oh yeah yeah yeah like those guys like that that's sort of like it's like are you helping people or are you toxic i can't i can't like you're kind of you're kind of yelling at broke people for being broke and tell them that they need to get their shit together like whenever i see him yelling at somebody i always feel like i think this person needs some love i think they need to be held or maybe i think they've been called a fucking idiot enough not that he literally does that but i was kind of shocked when i because he was always on regular tv but when i saw the uncut version i was kind of surprised that he was yelling at broke people like a special teams coach

yeah i mean yeah i don't group therapy i mean i feel like uh that that's weird when when you're kind of a random person's opinion is gonna override things but i think maybe sometimes like mediators i almost feel like every family should have a mediator or something but i think mediators theoretically are not are could help maybe i don't know some relationships i don't

know i think it depends on the psychological makeup if you get a narcissist in there they're only going to want to hear themselves talk and they're not going to want somebody else

to come in and hold them accountable this has been my right wow okay can we have names please

specific names just kidding i would just say this i had the required childhood to become a comedian and this is where all of this is coming from so you kind of live in like assimilation and one of the like narcissists are hilarious from a distance so you're talking about your family uh if you're roughly we'll say roughly okay um what's funny about them is they don't think anybody knows what the fuck they're talking about like they could be like a carpenter if they ran to an astronaut and if the astronaut started to tell them what it was like to go to the moon they would interrupt and start explaining to the astronaut what they were doing like that's that's the sort of shit that i observed wow when i grew up oh yeah no it was uh if i ever run into you you know like outside of the internet i can flesh out some of these stories they're too fucking they're really you know it as far as me putting together my new hour i've been touching on some of this stuff and like i really was sitting with my lovely wife the other night going like i can't put this shit out yeah this is too fucked up but i will say it in front of people with their phones locked up because i've been getting a lot of people coming up to me telling me they kind of had similar they could i was really surprised at the amount of people that i thought it was just going to be wow this is this is madness but people i didn't expect it

to be so relatable yeah yeah uh it's that's i mean that's so many big topics like that like how people just it's almost like you need parent licenses obviously not you don't need one to have a kid but maybe they could you know offer some kind of tax break to just like at least just teach people a little

bit how to maybe not fuck up kids so much yeah there's like really no guidance no they just kind

of like there's also yeah and there's also no uh very amazingly little information out there on how to help you not marry a psycho because what i think happened to a lot of people when i was growing up specifically women by the time they realized that the person they married was a fucking lunatic they were usually three kids in and yeah they kept buying now baby i'm sorry i'm gonna quit drinking or i'm gonna quit doing this i'm gonna quit doing that and then they would be like you know early 30s with a whole house full of kids and it'd be like it was almost like the guy knew he was the psycho so you just have a ton of kids so they couldn't leave you just would bury them bury them in babies no i heard was the working title for your album bury them in babies

um i mean that's it's related somehow i just because yeah i mean you just you people you wise up later it just takes so long to figure out who you are or what i don't know there's like two things there's like what kind of person you want to be and then and then who you are like honestly figuring that out and and yeah you just see you get a job you hate or marry the wrong you just kind of you're forced into these things it's almost like i wish like you went to college in your 40s or something you know that's when i'll be like interested in like learning there's so much cool information out there but it's like you're forced to kind of learn it in your teens and you don't give a shit and then you're forced to make decisions that you're not ready to make and then if you get out of it i feel like maybe we have evolved through that and i just feel like so much more in like in a better place now and um well i didn't know i liked to read until i was in

my 30s because that was always because they were always you know having you read like bail wolf or some shit from like 400 years ago and i was just like i hate this i don't know what it's about i'm stupid i'm not good at reading and then i did and then one day i finally i don't know i somehow was in a bookstore one day and i was just like oh wait i can choose what i want to

No, I hate every book you read in school, you hate. But then if you then you try reading outside and yeah, it's like, oh, wow, this is inspiring.

All right. It's time for the reads here. It's Helix, everybody. Helix, you know, there's nothing more important than a good night's sleep. A bad mattress can hinder your sleep, for God's sakes, which can affect your mood and your longevity. Next thing you know, you're fucking snapping at people. well you know what we can fix that it's time to upgrade your mattress stay comfortable inside your helix mattress a good night's rest sets you up for a great day oh boy do i believe in myself helix sleep quiz matches you with the perfect mattress based on your personal preferences and sleep needs making buying a mattress easy free shipping and seamless delivery helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the united states the happy with helix guarantee Rests easy with seamless returns and exchanges. Gross. The Happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free customer-first service designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Try it out. Do whatever you want. We'll take it back. Throw it right in the furnace. A study they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping in the Helix mattress. That's important. Go to helix.com slash burr for 27% off site-wide. That's helixsleep.com slash burr for 27% off. That's weird, like some sort of negotiations happen there. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Oh, look who it is, everybody. It's Jack. Aren't you? You know, some pants are high maintenance. They're riding up your ass. You got fucking two fingers in your taint and everybody's looking at you. You don't need to worry about that. uh i guess you do we're still talking about bad pants here don't spill on them don't sit too long don't pack them wrong don't move too much a great pair of pants should be easier to live with than that jack hatches jet set a tech pant is the everyday pant made to look polished feel comfortable and work across every part of your day wait is this the one where you can just spill coffee and wipe it off. This is a, okay, made with flexible fabric. Not like that unflexible fabric from when we were kids. You can stay comfortable and put together whether you're sitting at a desk, walking through an airport, running from the cops, or heading out to dinner. They move with you throughout the day and day and still put together. I don't have my glasses ever. They're all they're also wrinkle, wrinkle resistance. Why can't they make that for your face? Stain repellent and machine washable so you can spend less time worrying about your clothes and more time doing what you actually want to be doing in them. Pull them out of a suitcase. They're ready to wear. Spill coffee on them. Fucking wipe it off like it never happened. you're wearing a tarp and because they come in multiple fits in seams and colors you're not stuck trying to make a one-size-fits-all option it's easy to find a pair it fits you the way you want it it feels right from day one the best part they won't look saggy won't look worn out and

stretched and all that other shit these pants hold their shape day after day wash after wash so just said a tech pant has over 6 000 five-star reviews because it's exactly what guys are looking for a comfortable polished pant they can reach for no matter what they're doing right now jack gotcha is offering listeners 15 off your first order with promo code get jack go to jack gotcha j-a-c-k-a-r-c-h-e-r.com and use promo code get jack for 15 off your first order and see why thousands of people have given jet setter tech pants five stars that's jack gotcha.com promo code GETJACK for 15% off your first order. All right, everybody, at SimpliSafe, you know, Jesus Christ, in the United States, there's a break-in every 26 seconds. That means somewhere right now an intruder's getting closer. Can you feel his breath? The problem is most security systems only alert you after a break-in has already started, and that's too late. That's why I chose SimpliSafe to secure my home. Using the outdoor camera, Series 2, an advanced AI I alert SimpliSafe U.S.-based live agents identified threats on your property and deter them. Hey, get the fuck out of here. Stopping crime before it starts. That's real peace of mind. SimpliSafe is available with no long-term contracts and deterrence plans start at only a dollar a day. I want you to experience the same peace of mind I do, which is why I've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer an exclusive discount for my listeners. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com. 50% off to catch 100% of the criminals. That's half off at simplisafe.com slash burr. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. All right. What do we got? We got two left. Jesus fucking Christ. All right. Mint Mobile. There's things in life that you don't want to be that you don't want to be transparent like your swimsuit or your search history. But when it comes to wireless build transparency, transparency is everything. That's why Mint Mobile wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just high speed data and reliable coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. And right now all plans are just $15 a month, even unlimited. Mint Mobile took what's wrong with the wireless plan and made it right for the premium wireless for $15 a month. All plans come with high tech data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even bring your current phone and your number choose from three six 12 month plans and say goodbye to a monthly bill ditch overpriced wireless with mint mobile it's so easy sign up online and get three months of premium wireless service 15 bucks a month this fucking copy they all say the same thing 10 times in a row some old guy was on his phone just walked by my car here didn't even notice me screaming to get your new wireless plan oh shit they're towing a car to get your new wireless plan And for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash burr. That's mintmobile.com slash burr. Get your wireless bill for $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash burr.

There's no catch. Upfront payments are $45 for three months, $90 for six months, $180 for 12 months. In case you can't do simple math, plan required. $15 per month taxes, fees, extras, initial plan term. Greater than five gigabytes may slow when network is busy. includes up to 220 GB hotspot, capable device required, available speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. I don't know. They said it, and then it kind of felt like they took it away there in the end. You know, it's like when you got a shutout. You let up that homer in the back of the ninth. The back of the ninth, the end of the ninth. Congratulations to the Red Sox, by the way. 15-game win streak. Comes to a close, but God damn it, that was exciting. Dude, let's start another one. Fast-growing trees, man. Did you know fast-growing trees is America's largest, most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees, plants, and over 2 million happy customers, but no marijuana? I don't know why. It's legal. They have all the plants you've had in your home needs, including fruit trees. Hi. Privacy trees. Get the fuck out of here. Flowering trees. I like them. Hats are fun. Shrubs and houseplants, all grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. You don't need a big fucking yard and a lot of space. You can grow lemon, avocado, olive, or fig trees indoors. Along with a wide variety of houseplants, all grown with care and hand-selected to thrive in your home. Come on, you Jesus freaks. That's like having your own Eden right inside. Get all the plants you need without the messy car or trip to the garden center. Right now, they have great deals on spring plants, essentials, up to half off on selected plants. And listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase when they use the code BURR. Check out, that's an additional 20% off better plants and better growing at FastGrowingTrees.com. using the code burr at checkout fastgrowingtrees.com slash burr i'm not slash burr code bird sorry code burr b-u-r-r that now's the perfect time to plant let's grow together use burr to save today offer valid offer is valid for a limited time terms and conditions may apply you know someday i would love to them to explain how you can grow a tree inside with no sunlight all right that's it back to the podcast there was one story i read in high school and i'll wrap this up soon because i know you probably have a show tonight um i i we read this story it was a short story and it was about this little kid who was up in a tree and he was yelling at these older kids and he was annoying the shit out of him i think they were playing catch and he was criticizing him and he was yelling at him and stuff and in the end he ends up falling out of the tree and he cries and his mother comes and gets him so the teacher comes in it's high school and they're like so what'd you think of the story and everybody was like oh stupid thought it was stupid everybody was saying it was stupid and i was sitting there i loved it because there was always that little wise-ass kid you wanted to beat the fuck out of him and you couldn't because you'd get in trouble

and by an act of god he falls out of the tree and you got what you wanted and then you could stay there and watch him cry in front of his mother and and not get in trouble his pain soothed me no now i don't look at the story that way but that that was probably you know those are the years when i you know i was a teenager and i didn't think i was angry i thought i was normal this was a book you were it was a short story so he had to go home he had to read it and that's what it was it was some kid in the tree making fun of these older kids throw playing catch and then in the end they wanted to beat the fuck out of him but they couldn't because he was little and then he fell out of the tree it was great i considered it a happy ending they all thought it was stupid so anyway this is this is going to be a this is going to be a tough segue the album's called reality waits waits um no reality was waiting the guy in the tree sorry yeah i just want to yeah i want to congratulate you on this album and what i love about your band is that you're continuing to grow and this album does not sound like any other album one of the hardest things i think to do is to continue to grow as a band i think like as a comedian you can do it subtly i definitely have people going like saying i'm not funny anymore but most of them are racist wow oh yeah i don't know where yeah they they i get hammered on for that shit um anyway uh which way oh they don't like who i married and they don't like that uh you know so they think you're racist against white people i mean i feel like i'm balanced i make fun of joe biden i make fun of i don't know what i don't know what it is that they want but like you know it's one of those things if if you're uh you know if you're on the left it's like fucking shut up these fucking celebrities about politics shut the fuck up but then you can go to the ufc event at the white house and that's like totally fucking okay it's just like all right that's not fucking hanging out with celebrities and that's not hanging like i don't know i don't i don't understand the math but i i haven't lost sight of what my job is my job is to make fun of all of it so that's kind of like what i do and i don't know how we got on this this this thing I was talking about how you guys continue to grow as a band. And I know, you know, every single band when I was growing up, there was always somebody like, I like their first two albums. Now they sold out. Like you're supposed to be eating fucking hot dogs without a bun for the rest of your life. And that means that you're making good music. And that always annoyed me, especially once I started doing stand-up

that these uh people felt that they like why would you be upset that you know someone's continuing to grow so like when your albums come out it's an exciting thing as a music lover because i know that you're you're gonna try new stuff and uh i felt like a lot of like just like what the band was playing i felt in a lot of

areas that was more like a vibe or an aesthetic kind of thing and then you doing the auto-tune over it like kind of like it worked i thought it worked so congratulations on that and when are you coming to la so i can see you guys um i mean i'm personally going there in a few days but

We're playing on the 22nd of August.

Oh, I'll be here. Around the 29th, I'll be on the road. Okay, where are you guys playing?

We're playing. It's a festival. I think it's in Pasadena, just like heaven. Oh, okay. What do you call that? I want to play like the guy who whispers the line. Andre? Yeah, you go line. little bus bus demon hiding over there i didn't see you all right well we talked briefly about

rvs really quickly before we started because i was talking about your bus and you said how much you loved it you would live on one uh will farrell has a new um a new series i think it's on netflix called the hawk or something like that he's a professional golfer and it's really cool because the guy's absurd but it's grounded so it's getting to see will do dramatic and and his uh comedy stuff it's really great but uh he has an old school bus that he pulls up in an old school tour bus remember those old greyhounds where you'd have to step up so you had the two-layer roof you remember those i'm older than you so and when you sat up like you sat up much higher than the bus driver so they had like a second windshield for people that were up there that was like on like the roof it was only like you know like six inches or whatever yeah it was like a double decker sort of but it wasn't it wasn't it was more like you stepped up it was the ultimate in greyhound luxury okay and like the 60s and the 70s and they had a few of those left over but he has he has a tour bus like that if you're a nerd like me and you want to check it out in real life or on the show no on the show oh okay i don't know those guys i'm just watching the show all right anyways the album comes out which will be tomorrow when this comes out it comes out on july 24th um an amazing new album from the strokes uh reality awaits they are touring right now go to i imagine the strokes.com where can they go to find out where

you guys dot net hotmail how do you do it i mean yeah you can probably hear it anywhere i don't

know youtube spotify no no i'm saying for your tour dates where they can find your tour dates

oh yeah sure strokes.com that sounds right the strokes.com yeah you can look up yeah it's the

internet it's easy all right hey man i came up during websites everybody had to have a fucking website i don't know what i'm doing so anyway we're gonna uh you know this cool thing that we do is we always play like back-to-back episodes. We have an old school, almost like a rerun, like the old days of television. But in between, Andrew Semelis, who you met earlier, always plays the track. And we would love to play a track off of your new album to get people excited to buy the album. So if you had to pick one, Julian, what are you going to go with?

I guess you said you liked the last two songs. Why don't we do the last song that I was talking about earlier?

All right. Tyrants of the mellow moon yeah last song second side all right well hey man it's uh was really exciting to finally uh meet you i've been watching you guys uh since way back in the day when i used to do remember that place surf reality did you ever play that place no sort of yeah yeah sometimes they'd have bands sometimes they would have really just out there comedy i used to bomb there all the time but it was worth bombing just because I would see cool bands and really cool performance. No, it was, uh, I want to say it was just South of, of Houston, uh, Soho as they call it. Um, but it was more like on like the East side and it was like shady. It was like 95, 96 when I used to go over there. Um, yeah, it was one of my, one of my favorite rooms. So anyways, all right. Well, thank you so much for, uh, coming on. I hope this was, uh, wasn't too painful to talk to a comedian about your uh your new album but um you guys should

be proud of yourselves i i wish i i want to interview you sometime you should i should be interviewing you you're way more interesting and cool and uh thanks for taking the time to help me

move some units absolutely at the end of the day that's that's all it's about pushing tickets and

making money you know i mean get another bag of blow it would be cool it would be cool to yeah talk not in in public on the internet but you know i get it that's how well when

Whenever you're out here, hit me up. And my wife is always looking for an excuse for me to get out of the house because, you know, you'll see. I'm a lot.

That would be amazing. No, man. Such a fan. And keep up the greatness. And, yeah.

All right. Well, right back at you. Tyrants of the Mellow Moon, the last song on the second side of Reality Awaits, which comes out tomorrow. And check out The Strokes on the road. Julian, thank you so much for coming on. Thanks, Bill. Very nice to meet you. Bye, buddy. Hope to see you soon. Okay. Bye-bye.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burrow, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast. for monday july 23rd uh 2018 how's it going how are you what do you say there um before i get going i have something to promote uh old freckles old ringside red face is gonna be at uh the next rough and rowdy event august 1st in youngstown ohio legendary legendary in the fight game youngstown ohio um it's sunday august 5th 2018 at 7 p.m eastern time you can pre-order at r n r for pay-per-view stream um you go right to their website rough and rowdy brawl.com r-o-u-g-h the letter n r-o-w-d-y brawl b-r-a-w-l.com check it out i was at the last one and uh you know it's one of the most favorite things i've ever done in show business it's just uh you know it's everything you want to see you know it's uh it's it's conflicting groups of people duking it out with not a lot of skill and you just get to sit there and enjoy it um i'm thinking there's gonna be a lot of maniacs there uh as you know youngstown is no joke all right and i can't wait to be there and not fight anybody like the coward that i am having said that let me be uh let me live my best life let me be a hero to myself my goals for the second half of 2018 is to be my own personal hero these fucking social media people have you ever like there's nothing i don't know i don't know where to begin with this if i see one more fucking fat miserable loser was wearing a t-shirt that has some sort of self-help advice to me like they've reached the mecca of peace and happiness it's just like is that fucking t-shirt for you or is it for me you know i just saw this this fucking miserable looking person sitting down in the airport you know tens and tens and tens of fucking pounds overweight eating shit food with a t-shirt that says love yourself you know what i mean and all of this fucking crap now where you pat people on the back because they're fucking up their lives but they still feel good about you know what i like who i am i'm not saying you shouldn't like who you are but i mean you got to look at yourself

in the mirror at some point and just be like dude the fuck are we doing here you know not saying

i'm perfect i'm not a perfect person right but i'm not you know sitting around here like

calling myself a hero you know based off of all my fucking shortcomings

Hollywood puts pressure it's not a Hollywood Hollywood gives people what they want

alright you fucking cunts so sick of everybody blaming this innocent town we here in hollywood happen to be some of the the most uh dependable loyal honest human beings you're ever going to meet yeah i couldn't even get through without laughing whatever fuck you this cut this time will give you whatever the fuck you buy okay and you've been looking at fucking abs and big tits since the second they had moving pictures so i i don't want to fucking hear you fucking assholes you know then i like those other people the the fucking fat guys with the uh with the tough guy shit on their shirt you know do i look like i give a shit you know that's no no you don't yeah i don't i i i would believe that you don't give a shit about anything all right with your fucking fungus riddled toenails while wearing your little fucking flip-flops oh my god do you ever see people that their toenails they look like fucking petrified wood and they're literally walking around just you know i guess living their best life but making you look at them i swear to god man i saw somebody in airport recently that had uh these flip-flops it also had like this toenail flap on it which i was really excited about i hear stomping feet

that can only mean one thing oh hey buddy how you doing daddy's in here making a fool of himself

look how big you're getting uh-oh come on come on buddy do what your mom says trust me i've tried it the other way it doesn't work all right the monday morning podcast has been briefly interrupted oh somebody's tired bye-bye oh you want to say hi let me give her a hug hang on i gotta pause all right i'm back crisis averted the fuck was i talking about um how great people are in hollywood how trustworthy we are you know there's a couple of bad apples i'm not gonna lie to you there's a few people out here you know i might be one of those people who knows you know um anyways what was i talking about doggone it ah jesus christ i just interrupted christ it fucked up my whole flow i don't know what i was talking who gives a shit right what do i hit stop and go back and fucking try and listen to it um anyways i have no idea what i was talking about let me plow ahead here as i always do i swear to god this fucking house i swear to god this fucking house if it's not one thing it's another every time i get something fixed something else breaks you know what i mean this can't be what owning a house is like i just i had to have bought out there's got to be some sort of fucking lemon law it's un-fucking it's un-fucking-believable what are those people they have a lawyer on retainer that just means they're constantly getting in fucking trouble so they're just constantly paying the fucking guy i should have a plumber on retainer i know what that means what the fuck does that mean it just sounds cool i have a lawyer on retainer oh my god oh my god give me an idea what the fuck my dad does that is god i still cannot get over the fact that an adult said that to another adult do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does you know it's like it's like you're there and the other guy's there you guys are facing off with each other and then the fucking other dude grabs him by the throat throws him down to the ground and then he stands up and all he has is you're fucked you're fucked and i evidently he walks away to go get his dad the kid's in his 20s dad what's the matter is that 35 year old

across the street picking on you again son um anyways i went down to uh comic con old freckles who's done nothing but make fun of comic con um forever i went down there on thursday because uh vince and all the guys that better call saul were nice enough to ask me to uh mediate is that the word basically host the panel the better call saul uh to promote their season premiere august 6th on amc um season four premiere and uh and after that the 10-year breaking bad reunion 10 years since their first episode debuted i would think 2008 and uh i went down there and there was all these people dressed like superheroes most people are not dressed up but there's enough people that dressed up that it was cool and i went down there and i gotta tell I've

really like those fucking nerds man they were really cool people i only teased them one time because i was saying something that was a spoiler and i was like hey spoiler alert everybody saw last season a better call saw you saw what happened in the last episode and this dude down front was like yeah i i didn't see it i was like all right well uh stick a couple of lightsabers in your ear because i have to fucking read this show something like that everybody laughed everybody had a good time with it i wasn't sure you know the self-sabotage in me wanted to walk out and open with how you doing you fucking nerds but i just didn't want to bring him back to high school i figured i was in their dojo i'm gonna be polite you know what i mean as fun as it is to do what that fucking guy in fox news did that one time when he went on that show with barbara walters you know remember that and half the fucking crew of them walked off the stage i can't remember anybody's fucking names anymore anyways i was down there and i had a great time and i flew uh with my instructor down there and an r44 it's the first time i've flown i hadn't flown since the end of may you know i was overseas uh you know doing gigs and celebrating my birthday probably far too long admittedly and then the last week of june i you know in the beginning of july i had to get caught up with all the work that i lost i missed i mean sorry and uh i flew and uh i did all right man you know a little rusty at first and then it all fucking came back and i had my best effing landing i've ever had as far as uh you know not having to look at my instruments too much and just feeling just feeling it being coming one with the fucking machine man uh it was getting dark out we came back to burbank and we were listening to the atus which just the information that's updated every hour for the airport you have to listen to it it's some computer voice you know wind's coming 270 you have information yankee so then you get on with burbank tower you're like burbank tower helicopter blah blah blah blah blue blue it helicopter at fucking hollywood reservoir uh requesting full stop at atlantic with information yankee so they know you got the latest information then they tell you what to do and there was a bunch of traffic coming in so they told us to hold over old mako which is this fucking hunk of shit macy's off the 170 that they're finally redoing and you just fucking orbit over there to all the big boys go in and then they say you know helicopter blah blah blah cleared for landing runway eight west of delta eight so then you just say all that shit back so i said all that shit back i come in they got the uh the fucking whatever they call you know those fucking the power lines there that chop your head off i flew over the tower like you're supposed to not over the wires and then i was coming in at the right speed because it was a

jet behind me um but i was a little too high so i just banked it really hard using my g's to make the fucking helicopter heavier don't ask me how physics right and then it fucking came down i was coming down like 600 feet per minute which as long as i'm moving forward is fine but as i slowed down i got it down to 300 commercial fucking landing right in the fucking glide path right on the numbers and fucking bang the left on delta eight and my instructor goes that's the best landing you've ever done you're becoming one with the helicopter and i turned around and my wife's in the back and her headphones weren't working and she didn't hear it and you know what i hate to say it so it was like it never happened and i was literally sitting there like a five-year-old talking to my mom going nia did you hear that did you and she's like what no i can't i can't you know there's a part of me that actually thinks she did hear it you know but to keep me in fucking line to keep me keep chasing the fucking carrot she acted like she didn't hear it so anyways um moving along i want to thank everybody on uh the cast of breaking bad and uh better call salt for doing the heavy lifting and telling the stories and all that i mean i was having like uh you know nightmares about hosting that and me turning into the real version of chris farley you know that that character he would do hey paul mccartney remember when you you and john lennon you guys wrote the white album uh yes chris yes i do yeah that was awesome like i was worried that i was going to be doing that i'm not going to say there wasn't a couple moments of that but uh you know the whole time i was up there i was like why didn't they get jimmy kimmel to do this that's my first fucking thought because i remember he did um he did the uh when they had the final episode and in la they did this thing at the hollywood forever cemetery and they showed the uh the final episode you could sit outside and fucking with all these other breaking bad fans it was really a fucking awesome night and Kimmel hosted it and he did a great job so I imagine the reason why he didn't do it was because he had to host his own show and uh yeah that makes sense right he had to host his talk show tapes at five and that was going to be from three to 5 30 down in san diego oh there we go hey there you go that's why old freckles got called up from the miners huh for a cup of coffee speaking of cutting called up from the miners and a cup of coffee and all that i'm back into watching the red socks uh braley's paying attention man i'd started with me trying like using listening to baseball as a way to not flip

out in traffic and um you know and just settling in to just not i just stopped fighting the city just like yeah man there's going to be a lot of traffic there's going to be a lot of people doing things that i'm not going to like and i just need to just i'm just going to sit there and watch it happen and just sort of inch along as i listen to five innings of a baseball game and go maybe three quarters of a mile that's what i'm gonna do and that's what i've been doing and i just listened to the red socks games and um the red socks i'll tell you dude they're on fire i was worried that the all-star break was going to slow them down they'd won 10 out of 11 um i'm sorry they won 11 out of that 10 11 they won 11 out of 12 that's right because they went 10 and 0 then they lost one and then they won uh right before the all-star game i know i sound like the fucking rain man then we just took two out of three from the tigers so we won 13 out of the last 15 uh and the yankees just keep winning too um but i gotta tell you i watched a little bit of the astros too i've been watching those guys i still think they're the team to beat um they get verlander they got a great pitching staff and they they got the bats they got the whole fucking thing and they won it last year and nobody's really talking about him everybody's all excited for fucking yankees red socks and uh this is what i think all right yankees bullpen sucks that's gonna come back and bite him in the ass and um chris sale is our guy and you know as much as i love david price you know he had a really rough outing against the yankees in new york and uh him cursing out dennis eckersley i don't know i don't know that that i was like oh that's a hall of famer man you don't curse out a fucking hall of famer so i'm worried that that guy's a little uh you know what are you a little shaky between the uh the ears there little old del beckham there right you know i don't know i hope he isn't because if he isn't we got two beasts he is a beast but i'm just worried that when he went down in new york and all those people let's go yankee you fire fuck you you being fuck he kind of imploded rather than being like i'm gonna ruin that fat man-titted singing fucking jackass yankee fan they still do that roll call thing it's like jesus christ i always feel like a musical's gonna break out after that um yeah they do have a lot of that and then they do the ymca thing i mean it's just you know and every time you think that's the worst thing then we sing sweet caroline it's

just i don't know what has happened to both of those franchises it's so weird how so much shit just got nicer but people are so much meaner in a way you know like you go to new york city like fucking yankee i went to a game in 1983 there the whole family went down there and it was like taking your fucking we went to a day game and as you got to new york there was literally cars just burned out on the side of the fucking highway and i don't mean in the middle of nowhere on some side road on the side of the highway like burned to the fucking ground i remember that was one of the things when giuliani got in office it was one of the first things he did was he got those things off of the highway there was such a bad fucking look for new york or maybe it was a good look because it was warning terror terrorists tourists about what they were about to experience but um i don't know everybody who gets giuliani credit who was the head the chief of police there that he fired along the way so he'd get all the credit oh bill do you always have to be a cunt yeah i do giuliani

he's chief of police fired let's see who this guy's come on come on slow internet he's bill burr he has the slowest internet in los angeles still fucking going um and now man i like i don't even know i don't even know like a sporting event there used to always be like an element of hey keep your head on a fucking swivel and jesus christ you have no idea what you're gonna see like people acted like fucking animals it was fights in the stands and all that type of shit i'm not saying obviously that i wanted to go back to that but somewhere along the line like it just became like it's like it's just weird it's like you're going to a chuck e cheese um it's still loading by the way still loading that's probably because i typed in giuliani and something negative that's that's my guess i'm gonna go with the old conspiracy theory here um yeah anyways i don't know you go to sporting events now it's like every time there's a stop at your play then something happens up on the fucking flat screen everybody just stares at it with their mouth hanging open and i really think that that's like this thing so people like don't fight and behave themselves you know you know you got that camera on your flat screen tv and all those fucking nerds at the best buy sit there watching you jerking off to the fucking charlie's angels on me tv whatever you're doing right but you know in between those times when they're waiting for you to fuck your wife or whatever those fucking nerd perverts are doing down there that for some reason is not fucking enforced you know what i mean you got all this fucking me too shit happening and meanwhile these fucking nerds are watching you in your living room. I'm not making this shit up. Like, they've gotten busted doing it. I don't know why they admitted to it. They're like, are you doing that? They're like, oh, you know, we're not going to say we're not. I don't know. Anyways, yeah, and they just sit there fucking... I mean, if you're going to go after the pervert, okay giuliani renews ties with police chief he ousted in 1995 william j bratton left the new york city new york city police commissioner with mayor rudolph giuliani the two men yeah that's the guy from what i've heard now granted this might have been people that hated giuliani which god knows a lot of people do um this might be bullshit but i don't know where's this coming from this is the new york times all right so they hate giuliani all right the two men rudolph giuliani and his former police commissioner william j bratton had not spoken to each other

in 10 years this is from 10 years ago this was written when they had crossed past the social gathering they exchanged little more than icy nods but time tragedy and presidential campaign has started to change all of that uh all right i don't even know what the fuck it is i think that was the guy that really turned it around that started it on the road where it's now like it's weird it's like uh my father-in-law said when he came down he was standing in brooklyn goes gee wow this is like uh it's like a theme park you know it's like people riding bicycles along the river and all this stuff it's sort of like a uh it's sort of like if you have money it's become this utopia or something i don't know when does the pendulum swing back that's what i want to know jesus christ because i imagine in the 70s when new york almost went bankrupt there was a bunch of old people going i remember

when this place was a dreamland when was that grandma back when whites were only allowed to play baseball back when hipaa was walking the earth well i suppose those things weren't right but uh oh you could leave your door unlocked um that is the thing man anytime you say good

old days there's always some fucked up shit going on right i don't yeah bill yeah that that really wasn't anything deep i didn't say it was all right so what i've been doing lately besides not boozing i'll tell you right now oh fucking uh oh freckles here i haven't drank all this month it's been great man it's really been great i'm still fucking tired though having a kid you're still tired but um

Thank you.

And I remember one day waking up when I was on the road, anticipating a hangover and not having one. And I was like, wow, it's pretty awesome, you know? I'm trying to eat well. I'm thinking of talking to a nutritionist. You know what I'm saying? I got to get the answers to the test here rather than listening to fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry. You know, Dean Del Rey knows what the fuck he's talking about, but I'm getting bored with the diet. i gotta add other shit and uh i want to add some vegan meals you know you know not because i want to go vegan just because i know if you eat them then you know your stomach is flatter just give my body a break from you know beef bourguignon skirt steaks and all of that shit you know um i saw this thing the other day it's like you just you don't even know who the fuck to believe like one of the things you know when you look at vegetarians and you look at vegan people uh you know there's an astounding level of fleshy fat people that don't eat meat you know what i mean and they'll eat french fries because it's made from potatoes and they're a vegetarian but it's fried and they'll say you know potatoes aren't good for you anyways as far as i know i mean i shouldn't even say that i don't want to be all oprah here and get people to stop eating potatoes and then the whole fucking potato farm farming industry sues me here at the monday money podcast um but there's just a lot you know they eat like fucking just all carbohydrates and shit um and they just stay away from meat i think a lot of people love animals but they hate reading is what i've sort of learned from looking at vegetarians and vegan people you know so they don't eat meat but then they don't really know what the fuck it is they're doing but the people that do take the time to do it right like nobody who lived in this house for a hundred fucking years evidently took the time to do something right they didn't do that they just called their fucking friend to fix it didn't they fuck getting a permit fuck getting somebody licensed fuck all of that what did they do they just fucking lived here they had a problem they asked a friend and i think a lot of vegans and vegetarians do that they fucking talk to people rather than reading and that's what i do because it's easier it's easier than sitting down and actually doing the fucking work so you know i see that you know like can anybody if gundy your fucking head can anybody tell you whether having an egg is good for you are bad at this point eggs have been good bad good and now they're starting to be bad again while people who are saying they're good are fucking you know they're duking it it's like the rubber match the rubber game whatever the fuck it's called right um so i'm gonna i'm

gonna talk to a nutritionist and i'm gonna i'm gonna you know try to read up on it but it's it's really dry and if you actually look up shit on becoming a vegetarian or or eating a little like that like a vegan or something i mean it's just hatfields and mccoy and mccoy's between the fucking meat eaters the carnivores and the vegetarian people and there's a lot of money at stake no pun intended sorry about that um so i i think like the big farming cattle fucking people you know they're trying to have all this shit come up first and then all the the tree hugging like hey man like you know trees are alive man those fucking people are trying to say that you know eating meat is is like like i saw this thing right what they were saying that this guy was trying to say that like animals get protein from eating plants and when you eat an animal it's an indirect protein because she should just gone directly to the plant and it's like well then explain tigers and they're fucking you know mr universe physiques as far as i know which is i don't know shit so i should shut up right now and google what what do tigers eat what do tigers eat meat only oh they're always in a bad mood can't even take a shit siberian the species diet ordinary consists about 50 percent wild boar meat doesn't that sound delicious if they cannot get their paws on some wild boar they've been known to eat elk deer and links they're like man what are you fucking with me for man i didn't do nothing and sometimes even bears oh my god what size jesus christ that's a big thing in asia huh putting like a bear and a tiger in a fucking cage and just filming it if large sources of meat are not readily available siberian tigers will eat rabbits fish and any rodents they can get to let's see okay well there's no meat in that do and that's the first thing i saw do tigers eat plants what do tigers eat siberian the species diet consists that's still this uh tigers diet eat tigers eat a variety of prey ranging in size from termites to elephant calves

oh that would break my heart to see a baby elephant get killed however an integral component of the diet are large body prey weighing 45 pounds or larger such as moose deer what do we fucking mean moose and bear where the fuck are those things i thought they were the moose we're only over here deer species pigs cows horses buffaloes and goats yeah well they have a different digestive system evidently because if you just fucking ate that that's they're basically on the atkins diet right yeah he's much fucking bacon as you want tigers looking at you like yeah i i realize that i realize that um so anyways i'm gonna try to fucking uh i don't know i'm to talk to a nutritionist somebody who read all this shit that i'm supposed to read and maybe try to get them to tell me some oh bill are you really gonna buy books of nutrition like you're gonna fucking read them do they have a lot of pictures um anyways i should probably read some advertising i don't feel like fucking doing that hey i'm almost like halfway through this uh season six of uh 77 sunset strip um and evidently see as i said season six you got to watch it it's on a 4 a.m on me tv just tape the fucking thing i'm gonna get more people to watch it because i'm worried because i found out that they started broadcasting all the episodes back in november and i missed the first five seasons and we're getting towards the end here of season six because they didn't do a full season they got canceled like three quarters of the way through um and i'd like to see the original ones because i'd like to see what la look back then you know hopefully they do some exteriors although i know most of it was formed on the back lot filmed on the back lot in warner brothers um but uh i'm loving this season so i'm worried that the other one's going to be a little hokey because i guess a lot of people didn't like season six first of all they fired the whole fucking cast as i mentioned sorry um but i i also didn't realize that they made ephraim zimbalist jr's character a lot more surly and uh but i'm loving him so now i'm worried that i saw season six first and if i go back and look at the others i'm not gonna like the show the same way the other people because i get you just get used to how the guy behaves you know but some of the lines man some of the shit that people say on there here's something like you know women are are are talking about how guys behave around them you know like in some of the shit that they say it's like jesus christ i mean i'm sure that guy's out there but what the fuck you know since season six of 77 sunset strip they sounds like what some of these women are describing here's some of the shit i heard them say guys saying to women on that show

pipe down shut up not to mention efram efram tries to bang his fucking secretary tried to look up her dress one episode i'm just sitting there going this guy would get me too'd so fucking fast and have his full head of hair spinning right and then my favorite one ever favorite one ever as i mentioned on another podcast is when he sat down in um this episode with the actor that ended up playing the professor on Gilligan's Island. Sorry, I'm talking through yawns right now. The actor that played the professor on Gilligan's Island, and the guy was three drinks in, and Ephraim's meeting him. It's the middle of the day, and the guy orders his fourth drink. And Ephraim goes, you got a pretty act available for lunchtime. You want the sauce? That is the one thing also that I love about that show. It makes you feel better about drinking and smoking. That from Zimbler's almost made 90. And there's barely a scene. He's not smoking a cigarette and he's really smoking it, too. And that's just on the take that they use. So who knows? All right. With that, should I read a little bit of advertising? Yeah. Why don't I do that? Seventy seven sunset strip. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. There's somebody new. Hey, by the way, you know what? I got a I got an email. from uh darren king incredible drummer uh one of the best drummers i've ever seen to be honest with you and i had no idea that he could sing and play guitar but he did a cover of richie uh oh my god i'm sorry is it richie havens let me make sure i have this right uh fuck yeah yes i was correct richie havens does a song called freedom and um he did a cover version of that that then goes into something else that is fucking incredible uh i tweeted out the video and we'll have a link to it on the mm podcast um jesus christ you know i i like watching how talented that guy is i don't even know what the fuck i'm even doing in this business man incredible incredible monster talent uh check it out and i heard he has a solo album coming out people are alluding to it i hope he does if he does we're going to promote it here and i hope you guys buy it because uh he is the real deal um all right let's check out some um am i gonna read some stories i know you know what i'm actually gonna do i actually came across this good thing it says news is bad for you okay this is from something the guardian.com says news is bad for you and giving up reading it will

make you happier all right now i'll tell you right now i didn't need this fucking article to tell me this i just realized it i figured it out after i went down a rabbit hole of fucking uh you know conspiracy theory you guys remember that people listen to the podcast 10 years ago i mean i was fucking i was you know i was mr you know chemtrail guy you know i was that guy saying you got to shut down the federal reserve and i had no solution to do like what would what you would do after that you know i'm sure people that are well read on it had the solution but i didn't so i was just walking around freaking people out i was a cunt basically um so anyways it says news is bad for your house so i just stopped watching the shit all right i'm just banking on the fact that there's going to be some smart people with a good heart that that are that are gonna lead us out of this fucking mess because i don't have any solutions all right i go on stage i jump around like a monkey and i make you laugh okay that's my lane and as the rock used to say know your role and shut your mouth so i'm staying over there i try to watch the news i i try i can't you know it's the weirdest thing going from obama to trump going from obama where all they did was lick his balls for eight years and then they go to trump and and it's just like all they do is shit on the guy the entire fucking time and they're both kind of doing you know with the foreign policy the same fucking shit although i don't trump is like a fucking lunatic you know what i mean i you know i heard i was listening to the howard stern show and he went on this fucking rant about russia it was just not talking about the fucking people just talking about you know uh old vladdy daddy over there he goes i'm sick of people fucking talking about russia you know like like they're not that bad he's like they fucking you know they kill gay people they they kill reporters just for having a difference of opinion and he's right he's fucking right um i don't know i i once that his his his fucking wife wore that coat when he was going to go visit those kids that she was going to go visit those kids that they had stuck in cages and she wore a jacket that said i don't really care to you and then tried oh that had to do with fake news it's just like it's literally like listening to a toddler lie and i god bless you if you can still watch that and try and stay politically active because i don't know it's it's just too fucking depressing i can't fucking deal with it so i choose not to watch and the last presidency you know i just i just it was i i couldn't fucking you know i had hope and then i was just like oh oh this is gonna be more of the same oh bankers

don't go to jail oh yeah yeah insurance companies could do whatever whatever they fucking want and And yeah, we're not going to. to constructively criticize our foreign policy and we're just going to stay the fucking course and shut down the government every fucking august for a week and our solution is always going to be to say well what if we raise the debt right you know and then meanwhile everything that his wife did was just considered like angelic it's just the whole fucking thing was annoying that was like when he was in office was like watching a fucking award show everybody's just walking around blowing each other talking about how fucking brilliant they are and then this we went from an award show to a fucking train wreck i honestly don't know how people have this stomach to pay attention like you're you're a whole other level tough mentally than i am so anyways here's here's this whole fucking article here it says news is bad for you and giving up reading it will make you happier all right in the past few decades the fortune fortunate among us have recognized the hazards of living with an overabundance of food parentheses obesity and diabetes and having started to change and have started to change our diets but most of us do not yet understand that news is to the mind what sugar is to the body news is easy to digest the media feeds us small bites of trivial matter tidbits that don't really concern our lives and don't require thinking that's why we experience almost no saturation unlike reading a book or long magazine articles which require thinking we can swallow limitless quantities of news flashes which are bright colored candies for the mind today we have reached the same point in relation to the to information that we faced 20 years ago in regard to food we're beginning to recognize how toxic news can be and i agree with all of this but everybody can't stop paying attention or else you know somebody has to pay attention right somebody's got to be like you can't put it on cruise control so i don't know if i 100% agree with this i just know i'm not going to be the gandhi that leads us out of this you know so as long as i know that i mean i will just can be content to listen to howard in the morning and then i listen to fucking baseball at night that's what the fuck i do i don't pretend to know things all right news misleads oh my god what take the following event a car drives over a bridge and the bridge collapses what is what is the news media focus on the car the person in the car where he came from where he planned to go how he was he transitioning how they didn't say that how he experienced the crash parentheses if he survived but that is all irrelevant what's relevant the structural stability of the bridge that's the underlying risk that has been lurking and could lurk in other bridges oh they get to that after they go painstakingly through the horror of the end of

that man's life or life-altering injuries and then they get to his family and they're all crying and all of that shit um you know as much as a moron as as i am i always turn that shit off you know like out here we had a hostage situation at a trader joe's and um the people i was with were just watching it and watching watching it's like like just out of curiosity what are you going to do if this guy just runs out and starts shooting people in the fucking head like you want to watch this these people in the store are fucking terrified this is the worst fucking moment of their life all right the news eventually is going to tell you what happened and they're going to give you an edited version so you don't have to see people's brains getting blown out you know and what you know they literally had like the employees were crying and all that shit and then i found on the end you know some poor woman died it was it was it's fucking terrible i'm just gonna sit at home watching it for hours ordering food you know going online are they tweeting from there what's going on and then all these fucking assholes on youtube not youtube on twitter are these social media people gonna go on and say the obvious oh my god this is so sad i'm like freaking out right now i love that oh is that what you're doing are you freaking out in the safety of your own home why don't you make this about yourself you fuck ah jesus social media i bet is people there's a lot of shit that says that's depressing too but you know what podcasts actually feed the soul i believe i'm part of the problem news misleads bill burr misleads uh anyways plowing ahead we are not rational enough to be exposed to the press See, this guy's saying we're all dumb. Watching an airplane crash on television is going to change your attitude toward that risk, regardless of its real probability. If you think you can compensate with the strength of your own inner contemplation, you are wrong. I think the subtext of this is, you dumb fuck. Bankers and economists who have powerful incentives to compensate for news-borne hazards have shown that they cannot. the only solution cut yourself off from the news consumption entirely news is irrelevant out of the approximately 10 000 news stories you have read in the last 12 months name one that because you consumed it allowed you to make a better decision about a serious matter affecting your life your career and your business well i would say anything about the environment you know geez this guy this guy's chip off the old block here paint with a broad brush the point is the consumption of news is irrelevant to you but people find it very difficult to recognize what's relevant it's much easier to recognize what's new all right i think we get the point here news has no explanatory power news items are bubbles popping on the surface of a

deeper world oh that's deep that sounds like a fucking progressive rock band like a line in the song um in seven four i imagine will accumulate facts that help you understand the world uh sadly no the relationship is inverted the important stories are non-stories i would agree with that slow powerful movement that develop below journalist radar but have a transforming effect the more news factoids you digest the less of the big picture you will understand maybe this is why everybody's yelling each other news is toxic to your body this i'll just read the headlines here news increases cognitive errors news inhibits thinking news works like a drug news wastes time news makes us passive well that worked with me news kills creativity um well there you go jesus christ that's pretty fucking negative huh let's get to some positive shit i gotta i gotta fucking note from uh possible visit to dovronvik brovnik croatia my friend uh while you're checking where the hell i'm contacting you from uh let me jump you with invitation invitation to my country slash city i run brewery and we are in debt at the moment so don't expect this is money interesting invitation this is opportunity for you to check out crazy side of balklands and getting hours and hours of future material by the way you're funny well thank you sir uh that read like a fucking ransom note from eastern europe and i would be lying to you if i wasn't a little afraid to go to your bar i need a couple of those in there you know while you're checking where oh you got the the hell i'm contacting you from let me jump in with an invitation let me jump in with invitation uh you you fucking talk like ivan drago um listen buddy i'm gonna try to get as close to dombrovnik as i possibly can i wish your bar was making more money uh and i'd love to go in there and help you out with your fucking monthly rent by boozing my face off but i don't i could tell you i don't think i'm gonna make it there uh eastern european tour jesus christ this is all i'm getting this is all east eastern europe where eastern european tour dear billy baldberger oh come on now i was feeling i was feeling good about myself uh i'm a huge fan of your comedy and f is for family is my favorite thing on nextflix well thank you very much therefore i am very excited that you are thinking of visiting prague czech republic comedy scene in prague is pretty much non-existence oh jeez so i'm sure you would kill with your knock-knock jokes um if you are interested pint of beer costs between one to two dollars and it's delicious you also have to try traditional alcohol drink

it's made from distilled plums and has about 51 of alcohol okay i'm in you could visit the czech hockey hall of fame or you could go to see jarmer jarger play some second division hockey oh that would be cool as shit i'm probably only going to be there for a night i think this is going to be uh a bunch of one-nighters here a while back you mentioned you saw the movie anthropoid about a czechoslovakian paratroopers assassinating high-ranking german nazi official i love that movie the movie ends with the final shootout in the church you can actually go to the crips of the church and see the bullet holes from the incident i'm fucking doing that i hope you decide to come and share your american wisdom with us savages thanks and go make love to your lovely wife oh thank you god bless you go fuck your wife you fucking red-headed prick eastern european toy hey bill i've just wanted to say that i know a lot of people waiting for you to come to poland oh great i guess your agents already figured out that warsaw seems the most logical place to do your show as it's the biggest city in the capital and it's located somewhat in the middle of the country so most of the people from outside warsaw like me will be able to come and see you live i'm 100 percent

sure you'll sell out all the tickets plus warsaw is a great place to visit because of its history and of course all the cool stuff going on there i guess people from the states think you'll see white bears and trams and horse-drawn carts in the street but that's not the case i didn't think that i just thought i'd see four people trying to screw in a light bulb oh i'm sorry just like everywhere else we've got hipsters and starbucks moderately fat lazy fucks and shopping malls and generally people wasting their lives on social media yeah yeah that's that's a reoccurring thing anyway my friends and i can't wait for your show thanks to go fuck yourself yeah everybody's staring at their phones is a big thing and i do that all the time uh persistent cold you may have walking pneumonia go see a doctor when you get back to la i need a doctor somebody give me a doctor soft tires and nazi symbolism i love this guy this guy's just he's just doing the whole gamut isn't he um run in the gamut hey let's look that up let's see what the fuck that means how did that expression come about all right run the gamut origin meaning the entire range the word gamut traces its origins to the middle ages and a system for designating musical notes around the turn of the second millennium the fuck you mean the second millennium i thought this was the second millennium 2,000, right? Isn't a millennium 1,000 years? A medieval monk developed a system. Jesus, Bill. You know, it just gets to the point. I try to be informed. The second you're going to bring up a fucking monk, around the turn of the second millennium, Guido of Arizo, a medieval monk, developed a system of psalmization i.e. designating musical notes by syllable names while today we are familiar with the sung syllables do re mi fa sol la ti do back in guido's time he died in 1050 they had a hex tonic scale six note and he used the symbol ut re mi fa sol and la and la the ut represented the lowest note ut re mi fa sol and la and la i can't i get it that's why i play drums and tell jokes uh ut ut represents the lowest tone recognized in music theory at that time the second g below middle c what the fuck i don't give a fuck about what is the gamut the range of notes okay building on this denotation detonation i don't know gamut eventually came to mean the whole musical scale oh so you're running the whole fucking scale okay

jesus christ all right hey bill soft tires and nazi symbolism by the way hey bill i think i can answer both of your questions from thursday's podcast i'm in law school and a motorsport fanatic so the questions these questions are right in my wheelhouse all right what if you're in law school what so you know about nazi symbolism do you prosecute hate crimes i hope uh number one why the soft tires in moto gp uh principally you're right i know it the tires degrade towards the end of the race so it makes sense to use harder ones to get consistent performance especially now that slightly sliding the bike is the quickest way around the track how the fuck you learn how to do that is crazy i mean i've seen people do that in cars you know drifting but you know you're on four wheels like the level of balance and scale the ability to become one with the machine it's a it's a it's a it's a work of art in germany lorenzo used a soft front tire while marquez took the hard one for the rears Lorenzo was on a medium tire and Marquez on the soft Marquez is a special driver and tends to get a better feeling for the bike with a hard tire the sidewalls simply don't wobble around too much Lorenzo's bet was to use the superior pace of the soft tire more grip to build enough of an advantage to win this is fascinating Marquez meanwhile expected a tight field and wanted to nurse his tires while keeping with the pack thus having enough tire left for the last lap and a final attack for a win which is exactly what he did simply put the drivers have to decide between an early pace advantage and therefore superior track position with soft tires and the consistency of the hards um add add changing conditions different riding styles and bikes to that and you'll see how hard it is to pick up a winning package well my thing

is is there a way for him to know what mark marquez is going to be running considering he's the best rider out there as far as i can tell no disrespect to jorge lorenzo i know he's won it a couple times but um the championship i believe he's won two of them um no matter what tire you're going to have you're not going to open up this like insurmountable lead so i just think eventually that soft tire is going to fucking wear out and then marquez is behind he's going to overtake you and then then he can ride hard for the first time in the race you beat the shit out of those tires but by the time they get fucked up the race is going to be over before that happens i don't know but thank you for that that is that is fascinating because everybody goes you watch races just a bunch of people driving around driving around the track driving around in circles stock car racing the only thing you need to know go turn left um yeah that's all you need to know banned nazi symbolism um i'm enrolled in one of the best school i love how people are too dumb to understand racing and then they sit there and they shit on it uh i'm enrolled in one of the best law schools in germany over here displaying nazi symbolism is punishable with up to five years in prison in the context of the whole legal system it's quite an unusual article of the law usually this is amazing so because you're a lawyer in germany usually the political background of an opinion is irrelevant to the criminal repercussions to avoid discrimination usually objective factors are used instead of political ones it was discussed whether banning and punishing nazi sympathetic displays is constitutional it is an infringement on the freedom of speech yes it is um and also lets you know who the nazis are uh the one argument that one in court was this was the historic significance in germany uh the constitution with by the way i'm loving all these these letters from around the world this is fucking incredible if i could just get some women to write in i know i'm off-putting ladies but you know that kind of gives you an opportunity to put me in my place which is one of my favorite things you hear when my wife's on here she shits all over me i love it giggling like a school girl the constitution was put into place in 1949 while most cities still look like downtown Baghdad circa 2004 uh and when the ovens of Auschwitz had just cooled down jesus uh the content of the constitution is an answer to all the shit that went down between 1933 and 1945 yeah because most of those lunatics died or were put to death and then some more rational people were like hey uh let's try to prevent that happening again all right look at the city this is amazing you can see all the way to the other city because there's no cities left um anyways um so the constitution is the answer to that's really i know you don't see a lot

about germany other than 1933 to 1945 or they show shit about you know world war one but they don't show about the steps that they took afterwards to ensure that this wasn't going to happen again uh i'm sure there's a nice book on it that i could sit down and read if i wasn't such a moron anyways denying support of that regime is part of the constitution's inherent character i agree with that the problem it doesn't change anything it's symbolism we can now point at our laws and tell other countries see we learned and what do the neo-nazis do they use fucking code which is not forbidden such as 88 i guess that means heil hitler or hkn krz shirts which in german is recognized as saying haken kruz which equals swastika i swear to god those fuckers parody the run dmc logo with hkn space krz shirts i had no idea wow thanks for the podcast they keep me laughing during exams looking forward to your german european tour you freckled cunt you know that's got to be the most fascinating shit i've heard about germany since you know the same shit that they show a zillion times on um on the history channel i mean obviously got to show that so you know hopefully that never happens again um but they should probably shine a light on this to know that that is going down i don't know it's hard man i i really look like the nazis they're kind of like a fucking i think i used to do a bit on this they're kind of like a band that had a bunch of hits like fucking 40 years ago and now they're coming back and it's just you know there's no original members they don't have the magic anymore it's just it's over it's over it's it's a you know it's like a uh you know some some bands it's just their name becomes toxic after a while you know although sometimes they're so bad that they come back and people love them again i don't know it's probably a bad analogy but that's pretty frightening that that shit's going down that people still like you know i don't know i i've never really been to a holocaust museum it's just i just don't think i could handle it you know knowing that people are capable of that level of fucking evil just literally separating you know that shit in slavery the shit at the border to separate parents from their children to sit there and fucking do that i i don't give anybody a pass even the fucking kid down there like this is my job quit your fucking job i'm not fucking doing this like when do you when is that kid screaming crying voice gonna leave your fucking head for

the rest of your life oh my god especially not having a kid and knowing like how much they need like my daughter just came in she was like whining and all that for whatever reason she wanted to hug me you know i don't know why but they they need just to take that away from a kid it just it's fucking you know over some i don't know there's got you know there's got to be another way right anyways uh you sent my brother to the hospital what the fuck are you talking about can i legally read this without getting all right hey billy bro killer my brother and i went to your show early your early show in minneapolis a couple weeks ago and as we were leaving he was complaining about his back and shoulder hurting being the douche i am i assumed he was whining about the uncomfortable seat so the next few days he started coughing and hearing a rattle in his chest yeah okay well go to the doctor he went to the doc and as a precaution it turns out at some point during your set his right lung made like the falcons in super bowl 51 collapsed well that's not from laughing that was like you know you went there yeah it's probably everything he did up until that point um he spent i would love to take credit for any joke being funny enough to make somebody's lung collapse but i think you're uh i think you're uh uh yeah you're looking at the ass end of the problem there buddy he spent the next six days in the hospital and had to get a tube stuck through his rib cage like carl weathers death scene in predator then they hooked that shit up to a dust buster sucked out the air that was outside of his lung and sewed the hole shut that's fascinating he finally got out of the hospital and is doing fine but i just thought you'd appreciate knowing you're at the level where your comedy caused someone's organ to explode like the goddamn death star keep this up and you'll be well on your way to fixing the overpopulation problem anyways can't wait for you to get come back to minnesota so you can finish the job and get his left lung hope all is well with the family thanks i'm glad you guys came out and i'm glad your brother's doing all right um all right i think that's the uh i think that's the podcast here uh for this week um all right i think there was a formula one race today i'm taping this sunday night i got to uh sit down and watch that but i got so much shit to do um is that it do i have anything oh yeah this weekend i'm gonna be with nate craig in houston all right houston texas in july as a bald red-headed male and then i'm gonna be in dallas i don't know how many shows i'm fucking doing here let me check it out here all right so here's the deal thursday i got a show at revention music center in texas

friday i have a show at revention music center in houston texas there's still tickets to thursday friday sold out and then i got two shows in uh the pavilion up in dallas at the toyota music factory um also i added a show right before the rough and rowdy in rochester new york right outside of buffalo which i haven't been to in a zillion years um rochester former home of the rochester royals that then became the cincinnati royals then the kansas city slash omaha kings then the kansas city kings and then the sacramento kings hey bill why were they kansas city and omaha kings well because they used to split their home games between both those cities seeing which town gave a fuck more kansas city didn't have any college football omaha did well i guess it's lincoln nebraska right where is university nebraska i only went to a fucking game out there i always forget where it's at

Um, then they became the Sacramento Kings. I'm into that shit. I'm into past history. You want to hear a couple of cool ones? All right. Here's a good one. Kansas City Scouts. NHL team. Moved to Colorado, became the Colorado Rockies. And then moved to New Jersey, became the New Jersey Devils. Okay. I can't do all your homework for you, but I can do some of it. All right. The original Washington Senators. 1901 to 1960. they left and became the Minnesota Twins. And then the Senators came back briefly in Washington, almost like they retained the name, like the Cleveland Browns. And it was a second incarnation of the fucking Washington Senators. And they also failed. And then they moved to Texas and became the Texas Rangers. All right? You want to hear some more? what else do i got all right the new york yankees who were they originally the baltimore orioles 1901 to 1902 then they became the new york highlanders 1903 to 1912 then they became the new york yankees 1913 to present now the baltimore orioles i knew they were the old saint louis browns but i didn't realize they were the first they were the milwaukee brewers in 1901 then they They were the St. Louis Browns, 1902 to 1953. And from 1954 until now, they became the Orioles. All right, that's it. Okay, I don't want to talk to you guys anymore about this. What, the Oakland A's? Is that what you were asking about? Well, they were the Philadelphia Athletics from 1901 to 1954. Then the Kansas City Athletics to 1955 to 1967. And then they became the Oakland A's, 1968 to 1986. and then the Oakland Athletics, 1987 to present. I don't know what that means. As far as I'm concerned, they've been the Oakland A's or the Athletics since 68, but that's what this fucking thing said to me. You know? You know, I learned about all of this shit. A lot of teams have passed through Kansas City, started there or gone through there, and then they just fucking, you know? Kansas City Scouts, Kansas City Kings, Kansas City Athletics. They've had a lot of people come and go, you know? and there's only one solution that I can think of. There's a lot of cunts in Kansas City. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday.

That refresh you've been putting off until the right deal came along? It's here. Wayfair's Black Friday in July sale is happening now so you can finally get the style you've been waiting for for less. Get up to 80% off area rugs and up to 60% off outdoor and bedroom furniture. Shop Wayfair's huge selection of styles and find the piece to fit your style, budget, and space. Plus, free shipping. Black Friday in July ends July 27th. Shop today at Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.