she said little by little you say things that you don't mean you let things happen that your friends will call you dumb for things that you'll regret taking from him next thing you know you'll stop feeling like yourself making little worlds out of everything she paused her eyes getting smaller to over the darkness of the sky and then one day i felt my chest tightening then you're not really there anymore poof gone but but i'm still here i said not expecting to get so defensive she looked at me but her expression hadn't changed it was more serious but generally the same are you are you still here she asked it was quiet again i opened my mouth to say something but suddenly, up the hill, I saw something. Headlights. A car. I came down to the parking lot like it was trying to figure out where to turn from and my heart jumped. That could be... I started turning back to her, but she wasn't looking at the car. She was looking at me. You should go, she said. The way she said it, it sounded like a final thing, like a goodbye and out of peace of advice. Well, I can't just leave you here, I said, glancing between her and the road, surprised by how my lack of a single care in the world suddenly flipped. She let out a small breath. I thought that she was about to laugh. That's what makes us different. I want you to see this, she said, as she was stepping past me and down toward the stairs, toward the sand. Wait, I said, reaching out by stopping myself just before my hand touched her arm, and she just kept walking. Did they leave you? I asked, my voice echoing a little bit in that strange silence, but she kept walking. They always do, she said. Her feet had reached the sand, leaving footprints that were filled back in right away with the dark water. I watched her move closer to the shoreline, the hands of the ocean reaching out like a flat, endless surface. hey i called out louder than before you don't have to go in there don't go that way just come back everything is going to be fine just come back but that's when she stopped for a second i thought that she might turn around and run back up but instead she spoke just loud enough for me to hear i can't and everything paused he didn't come back she said my stomach dropped what do you mean i asked my voice about to fall apart