Muse

all right we'll just stick with robert man no problems how are we doing everybody welcome back to the channel i'm ron swanson we're joined here tonight by robert we're going to be delving into his life story how he transitioned from being a young man into a life of mafioso crime and uh what it cost him in in doing so but robert thank you for being here thanks for giving up your time please just introduce yourself give us a little bit of a backstory and then we'll dive into your

story all right well my name is robert alvarez i'm 47 years old and pretty much my story is you know i got arrested at 16 about to be 17 for over murder i did 23 years 11 months behind bars 14 in the shoe and then due to circumstance i came out here to mexico to keep pushing that line

pretty much but yes in a nutshell well let's let's start at the beginning robert right let's go back to your arrest what led up to that evening and really what what had pushed you into that life

in the first place what pushed me there well basically i had just gotten out of way right and i had not gone back to the neighborhood you know i went to give a ride to uh my my age dues at that time that and uh doing so my neighborhood it's just one way in one way out and when we hit the court where the park is at there was some norteños and i got upset and i basically told my homeboy to uh hit him up and i would jump out on them and uh basically hit him up they said where they were from i jumped out with a piece of tube and um basically went to town i'm one of the individuals and then from there just kicked off a war you know they came back that night they stabbed one of my homeboys and it turned out they were there visiting their mom because we had a homegirl that had kids that were northerners that lived in the neighborhood you know but i i never really met him so anyways that kicked off the war basically when that started uh just one friday we went out looking for them pretty much and we couldn't find them anywhere and we just decided to go cruising and when we were downtown santa rosa is where we found them near the college and basically we started chasing them and in my paperwork you know i was we hit a break where there's two gas stations and i was leaning out the window for them to get close but i forgot my homeboy had a gun and he shot so i heard him real close so i started shooting back And basically, I chased him behind the gas station, and on my way back from the alley, I thought they had gotten away, so I heard him in the bushes hiding, and, you know, I just took their life. But that's basically what led to it.

So it's really the classic gang warfare story, right? It's what a lot of kids, a lot of teens get sucked into.

Yeah, pretty much. you know at least back in the 90s is what it was can you just try and put it in perspective for

people who are unfamiliar with gang life and the severity of crossing over into the wrong part of

town well you know me being a southerner in a northern city basically it was everywhere we went We pretty much had a buck up against them. You know, what brought me to game banging is they actually took, you could say, a family member's life in front of me when I was a kid. And, you know, I couldn't help them. And that led me to start game banging pretty much.

Yeah. and you think it's a classic cycle of trauma creates more trauma yeah oh definitely

once it gets started you know like i said i started gaming with a lot of hate and it just went on and on and on and on and you know I come from a family out here in Sinaloa that basically there's no room for words so I always grew up with that having to separate you know from out here to the state where I was born so it just leads you know something small always leads to something big another day

right and the night that these men you know lost their lives and this you know the murder took place right obviously everything changed then and what was it like processing that whole

to be real sincere with you at that moment of my life it was nothing it was what it was you know like i don't really speak about that day because uh one of the ladies that may maintain with me you know she's a christian lady and uh she's one of the mothers of one of the person that took their life but at one point you know she used to go visit me in county and ask me basically what her son's last word was and i was trash of a person you know and i pretty much used to laugh at her and tell her what your son used to tell me is beg was begging me for his life then i put six in his head and basically that's the game you know

you play to win your son lost and did you find pleasure or pride in sort of the venom that you

would spew at the victim's mother no to me it wasn't really about her it was about her son you know it was no no compassion for him at all and his mother being there you know i wasn't in a turn of fight with god so when she was telling me like just tell me so i could forgive you god can forgive you and i can move on it's like you know i could care less about your god I could care less what you need to forgive me or if you don't forgive me

and where do you think that that level of cold empathy less void where do you think that came from inside you Robert

like I said I grew up going back and forth you know from where I'm at right now in Culiacan Sinaloa uh and as you know out here is it's narco territory you know i had a grandpa that was real tough and uh my dad and him started uh well one of the families out here i'll just say it like that yeah you know so since i was young i got taught you know that way no compassion Basically A life ain't worth anything

Yeah

A problem is basically Easier dealt with Yeah By simply knocking the head off You know

And it's an indoctrination From birth right Yeah When we talk about

It came from My grandpa You know

Cause I think it's easy It's easy for people To pass judgment Right Sorry Robert You were breaking up there Carry on Carry on

in the states where i was born

say that again robert

game banging you know there's no reason for i ended up beating them but uh since i was six i got taught you know down here in sinaloa that a human's life is probably the easiest thing to take you know

yeah and it you know it's easy for people to sit here and you know judge other people right but when you're born into a system that looking back there was no escape for you this it was this life or no life right

yeah it was basically you know when before it happened my family member in the states I don't want nothing to do with gangbanging. I grew up in a northern neighborhood. I was born in a northern neighborhood. and uh that kind of pushed me to that but you're right you know I was born into something that there was just no no way out you know I was 13 when they gunned my dad down downtown and a cousin of mine and then shortly after that they picked up my grandpa and they They cut him up in pieces and threw him out, different parts of Culiacán, you know. It's just part of what it is out here.

Yeah. It's a different world.

Yeah, definitely.

All right, so the police have arrested you. You've been arrested. Let's start off with the whole going to prison and how that whole process went.

Well, going to prison, for me, it was nothing new because I had done some CYA time, you know, for youth. So I went into prison and, you know, just blended in right away. I went in as a double lifer. so i felt the thing to do for me was to uh to basically throw my name out there you know doing the most and that was but just lifting my hand to take care of things you know and uh my cell he announced to me he was uh he was paroling nearby and uh he basically sat me down and he took the time to give me schooling i was doing everything wrong you know and uh he was a main member so i sat down and listened i took schooling from him and that's pretty much what helped me get

through my time you could say and how long did you say you've been 23 years 23 years 11 months okay so tell us about it i mean you must have seen some atrocities you must have there must have been some moments robert where you questioned everything right

there was there was a lot of them to be sincere you know once i i levered sessions and quentin it was uh they didn't have time to think you know it was basically i was hitting institutions up north and we weren't welcome so we were getting stomped out everywhere we landed pretty much and when i went down south is when i really started off you know i i started running yards you know i started getting deep into it and ever since i joined the you could say helping out with the responsibilities of a yard i uh i seen a lot of things that just didn't make sense you know but me being a lifer i shook him off you know because it was either shake him off or deal with the situation and end up on that side you know with all the funny cats yeah so basically after i hit a prison named ironwood a whole new ball game opened up for me you know like in politics and stuff in prison that would end up leading to uh 14 years in the shoe 14 years how we laid up to that well you know holding a position is it's a lot of responsibilities for the reason that uh even though they're all made members they always say they're always at each other's necks and when everybody all of them were slammed down they were going after each other and the way to do so was with their soldiers right us so they were always trying to take yards from each other so in one of them occasions an individual came and said he was going to take take the yard or he had the right to the yard and and I verified a no, and I basically ended up stabbing him. I don't remember exactly how much science, but it was over.

30 times and i went to the hole and then from there in the hole i just kept picking up cases you

know so that would then add on to your 23 years right excuse me would that not then add on to

your sentence of 23 years no the da didn't pick it up because at the end of the day they used to see my c-file the my c-file said i had double life double life sentence okay i didn't have 23 years i wasn't supposed to get out period okay you know and uh so da would not pick it up so all cdc could do is basically send me to the hole give me some shoe time and uh keep adding

out to my shoe time okay so you got a double life sentence you were never meant to get out then there was another murder that you got sent to the shoe for 14 years but somehow prison now just okay yeah yeah yeah also why the mask

oh this is a request from my family out here in culiacan okay okay

Okay. Because you've got some pretty identifiable hands there, bro.

Yeah, no. Everyone that's in my channel knows exactly who I am, what I look like.

Yeah, we're trying to establish that today, I think. Because I'm trying to make sense of what you're saying here. So help me make sense of this. Two people were unalived, you got a double life sentence, done 23 years. There was another unaliving that took place 14 years in the whole, out in 23.

make it all make sense robert okay well like i said once i went to the hole i was in the first shoe i hit was the attribute shoe and then from there different things occurred you know politic wise i was just supporting the cause you know i was never nobody I was just one on a thousand and from there I went to Corcoran Shoe and Corcoran Shoe I got validated as an associate of the Mexican Mafia and when I got validated they sent me to a different side of the shoe and in there I had a celly that was a main member and uh basically what it came down to is uh the main individual that had everything at that moment they were from the same neighborhood on the street and like i said jealousy plays a big part in in their in their movement right and uh since my celly was a little bit older and he was going through some things with his girl, his family. He wasn't really doing anything for them, right? So one day he went out to yard and they just got at me and told me, like, hey, Chino, we need you to take care of Naya. We need you to take him out. And where my mind was at the time you know there was no room for questioning i had to do what i was asked even though i liked the individual i was close to to his family you know but it's just a person in california works you know you can't trust nobody really because at the end of the day the other ones are gonna pull you put you out pull your way but anyways i would end up taking care of that and i went through an investigation and the d.a couldn't really pin it on me but uh i went through a cdc they have like a court like committees and stuff and i got found guilty and that's when i hit pelican bay and i was out there from the end of 2004 to 2015. okay and what year were you released 2018 2018 yeah september 13 2018. straight out into the pandemic basically yeah pretty much much to be sincere i mean i didn't even notice it because

you know i would end up getting out because my case got turned overturned under technicality you know from sentencing okay and what was that they violated my rights i wasn't supposed to hit cdc being underage. i was supposed to go back to cya do a live sentence there and then go to cdc and do a live sentence and i never seen ya you know they shot me straight from county to uh to cdc and uh due to a stabbing i caught a lawyer i had caught on to it and we just started appealing that and i beat it pretty much it got overturned under that technicality interesting that's why i was able to get out but once i was in the federal system uh you know me being an idiot i basically uh got pulled by one member with antiquity and basically i promised due to my family and us trying to uh build the pipeline from uh sinaloa to uh to the state right and since there was nobody down here with direct ties to family uh they wanted me to come out here support so i said yeah i gave my word so the minute i hit i hit the streets i turned around and came into medsico you know and fell in line out here in medsico and is this gang for life for

you now excuse me we've got somebody in the side chats asking are you uh ganged up for life or are

you uh be leaving gang life at some point well i stepped back you know i stepped back for reasons that the betrayal that the main individuals at the level they do it is it just became too much for me you know out here in Mexico man we went through hell you know and a lot of good people died and at the end of the day it was they were all always for them you know you didn't matter your family didn't matter and it was just we were looked at like a pawn you know and matter i had like 30 years in supporting and i was in the worst places in mexico and prison wise were disliked a lot of mexico and i basically had just taken six bullets for a member and i was healing so i went up to take care of the bodega the bodegas till i healed up And next thing you know, I had that same member I took the six bullets for. He was every day, every day sending people out there to smoke me. I was getting into wars and, you know, he needed some help with some movers. And me being a dumb butt, trying to help, you know, I had a knee struggling and basically told her and he was supposed to pay her just $3,500, right? And she did the work and everything. And since I was up on the ranch, I wasn't really in touch with nothing. and next thing you know i come to find out that uh he didn't want to pay my knees you know he took her out somewhere and took her life and um i got into a shootout out there and i hit this individual and when i came up on him and i was going to dome him just basically I seen who it was so I knew exactly where it was coming from and just that I never hesitated in my life and that moment it was like what are you doing fool you know this is I ended up hesitating you know I would end up just kicking that fool in the grill and telling him to get on

And from there, I walked down and I called that individual, the main member, and I told him that I knew I left the keys where I was supposed to, you know, because I've never been a thief. And I just stepped back from everything. You know, I never, I did my time solid wherever I was.

I was at states in Mexico, you know, in and out. And it just happened on the streets that it's different. You know, it's real different being in a jail cell and programming than being out in the streets rubbing elbows and being around individuals that don't like us, period.

uh so can we go back to your prison time just for a minute right the initial the initial sentencing and let's go into the 14 years in the shoe and the shoe i mean i know the shoe is solitary confinement right yeah that's what the shoe is right okay so can you tell us what your first week right what it was like um being processed and being such a young man at the time right i mean you said it was just another day in the office effectively but i mean there must have been a series of emotions you went through can you take us through that those initial moments of you know you've been charged you're being sentenced you're walking into the prison and what that first week was like as i walked into prison

well it was san quentin so it wasn't our yards right san quentin damn yeah it was a northern yard so since the moment we got there you you have to be careful because uh they're going to try to spear you so you you have to be careful and they send us to a to a different yard and yeah it was a shot but more so in in the sales you know the sales in san quentin how they were and cause it's they're so small and but other than that I was pretty much used to it and when I hit the shoe I had already done a lot of hold time you know so when I hit the shoe it was pretty much love cause in the hole you don't get anything and once you hit the shoe you get either a TV or a radio and uh the cells are bigger than in the hole yeah what was the food like what was the the best the best meal that san quentin produced san quentin to me personally it was sos you know it was sos you were able to prepare it and other than that the food you know thank you god it was food but uh it wasn't too great in san quentin you know i mean san quentin's got quite a reputation yeah san quentin is just one of them prisons there

well i mean it used to i mean it's not a prison anymore yeah yeah no it ain't it will be a prison again soon but it's going to be a new form of system in america it's going to take the norwegian approach the norwegian approach to incarceration which is quite interesting but what was your

thoughts when you heard of san quentin being shut down well i i just heard it got shut down but i didn't really know you know like for example i'm so used to being locked up and then once we were out here i don't really do like social media and stuff like that you know i'm real bad at it yeah so i find out through uh through fans friends of the channel and uh they basically

share with me you know actually i'm just checking my facts robert right about san quentin just give me a second because as i'm saying it out loud i'm questioning my own facts here just give me a second San Quentin State Prison is undergoing significant transformation with plans to close its death row and focus on rehabilitation and education Governor Gavin Newsom Gavin Newsom announced these chases as part of a broader principle so I may have confused the death row side of it shutting down with the whole thing but I know it's definitely going through a big reform and when you were there what was the state of the place, what were the conditions like and what other stories can you tell us from within those walls when you got 23 years experience of that, you must have seen some stuff that went down, was there any guards that stuck out was there any problematic guards for you

in St. Quentin

yeah

oh yeah there was one he was supposed to be a kickboxer and man and you were just one of

them that like to push your buttons you know and it was he pushed them into black inmates they ended up stabbing him up real good right there on West Block but that was the thing about St. Quentin it was an old prison and had a lot of blind spots you know you could do some damage before the seals ever get to you yeah i would end up well i would end up catching two cases on the yard you know a whole bunch of just dumb stuff you know and when your original

sentence was overturned was there no continued sentences from any of the charges that you picked up in prison or did the whole thing just get completely cleared just that one like i told you

yeah when we found out when i grabbed the lawyer and he found out it was because i went inside a cell and i stabbed someone so when that i took a deal for three years for three years and another strike and basically when my case got overturned i did them three years but other than that everything else had been dismissed already

it's quite a mad story Robert, I mean the life that you grew up in and really had no hope of getting out of the gang life that's so reflective over so many stories that we see in the news, the internet and with our guests here with the violence that seems to resonate from Mexico's cartels, the mafias, what we see in the news, the bodies being displayed on bridges, the brutal revenge attacks. How prevalent has your life been around individuals like this, and how often are these sort of acts of sheer evil being witnessed by yourself?

Oh, like, even nowadays, you know, that I'm pretty much backed up from everything. I'm in Culiacan. My family is doing their thing, and it's a constant thing, you know, every day. Me getting, going out to the hospital or whatever, it's a mission. But even when I came out here and we're doing our thing, it was an everyday thing, you know. Like I said, a lot of people that were working with us, they lost their lives, you know. I just didn't want to be too upfront with it, but name it, you know. i've seen it you know i've seen people get skinned uh access taken to them alive them getting fed to pigs to other animals mexico is a whole different animal you know oh yeah i agree i agree nothing like like the states you know i did a lot of time in the states and i was around a lot of things but but there is no comparison at all.

Oh, yeah.

Doing a turn in the States is like a walk in the park, you know?

I can fully appreciate your analogy between the States and Mexico, for sure. The level of corruption and fear, I really think, with the people and the police, the army, and the people that are in charge of Mexico. i think there is a true level of fear that doesn't exist in most places if i'm being honest

that's one thing i never agree with you know i was always raised you know we don't work with government we don't associate with them at all and in mexico even though we're doing our own thing is they go hand in hand you know it's trash out here to be sincere and basically they're going to use government to get you government ain't going to arrest you i remember the times where we would get picked up the one thing we always paid attention to is uh from getting tortured is them actually putting us in the system, like booking us. If they didn't book us, it was because they were going to take us out to a field and they were going to dome us. And once they booked us, we knew we were just going to get stomped in.

you know for a while

and with the level of crime right the cartels are involved in how prevalent is the human transportation and have you ever witnessed any of that

human transportation no I'll be honest with you I know it's there you know a lot but I mainly stay in the states from Sinaloa down, you know. I mean, I went to Sonora and all them states, but I was more involved down south.

Yeah. And, I mean, I'm assuming primarily your business is going to be substance-related then, right?

That was the end goal, you know, to earn trust and everything to open up a pipeline that that will benefit the whole structure you know that you can tap in and for example go and say i want so much and

the next couple days it's where it needs to be you know oh yeah for sure for sure and i mean how feasible how feasible how feasible is that without some level of lower government stooge involvement i mean there's got to be some hands that get greased right yeah oh definitely

definitely that's why you know you got to tap into a to a big avenue basically a family that's why it was really important for someone to push for that that was directly tied to a family in Sinaloa because there was a big push for us specifically that we were only supposed to do things with sinaloa so you know we end up we ended up doing it before i even stepped back we established it and me stepping back you know i don't mess with their stuff they still doing their thing i don't speak about current stuff i don't speak about stuff that's not out there you know everything i speak on is because i know for a fact there's paperwork behind it somehow and i only speak about personal experience my walk only

yeah and would you say right with the life you've led right how common is that life with for those people that are around you in Mexico I mean is the double murder and double life sentence just another day in the park for many young teens out there like what's the reality of

that life out here in Mexico it ain't nothing two murders you know that's the difference that I'm telling I told you I had a difference you know from Mexico going back and forth is out here in Mexico i could go out i don't like someone and i know my family's plugged in with government they're doing their thing so i could go out and throw them three four individuals today take their life and nothing will ever come of it at all you know the only people that get caught in mexico it's because the big man throws him to throw off the government i don't know if i make

sense yeah like uh pounds of flesh like lamb to the slaughter yeah yeah they have the government

on them that they need a big fish you know and they turn the own cartel turns the man to throw the government off of them for some time you know that's how mexico works mexico it ain't about what you do or none of that it's about who you betrayed and who you take out pretty much

so it's almost like when things get too chaotic and the news the the it must be international pressure right let's be honest it must it's got to be some sort of international pressure or news outrage that pressures the the politicians to have to require that sacrificial lamb right

Yeah, I mean, it's just Mexico, you know. Mexico. Everybody's involved. Everybody. You know, I say a lot on my channel, the cartels don't assign plaza, you know, like territories. It's the Marines that do.

they're the ones that decide who has what and what and you know what's what was your family's

reaction to wanting to come and talk on a podcast and putting stories out there and things like this

my family they're okay you know with me putting my story out like i said i don't touch on current stuff i don't you know even them individuals i ended up being betrayed by and stuff i still see them and uh i don't get involved in their stuff they do their thing and go about their way you know and the only thing my family asked me for is wear that mask not because they don't they're not gonna know who i am everybody knows who i am right but uh it's just so that if they don't take it as i'm making fun of them you know yeah i'm with you we're talking about government and uh how deep is the government into all this they're deeper than the cartels we'll just leave it at that you know they run everything nothing moves in there to go without without government being involved

hang on one second so the prison time that you done in Mexico right how long did you do in Mexico

well it was here and there you know yeah the most i did in one person was nine months yeah okay okay okay because out here in mexico is there's no such thing you know you got money you got uh strings they're gonna get you out and if it's not through the front door it's through the back door you know where you're gonna get out Yeah, but I did a time in seven different prisons in Mexico, federal and state.

Wow. Can you tell us the difference between the two, the federal and the state, what they were like?

Big difference. I don't know if you've ever seen the inside of a prison in the state. But, for example, you know, everything is organized, it's straight. They don't let you, for example, in visits. you know at least in california in the level fours the tables are small the chairs are taller than the tables so i look at you in mexico there's no such thing you know in any prisons they're towns they're literally towns and when you get there basically they they put you up and they just throw you in gp and tell you hey go find yourself when your family comes visit you it don't matter who it is they bring him up and they tell him well he lives here go look for him and they literally walk the yard with every prisoner you know and everything you can think of it's in mexico prison from restaurants to shops, to whatever, you know?

Yeah.

There's hotels, there's bars, there's...

Is that like the economy within the prison that the prisoners are set up themselves?

It's the cartel that runs the streets, runs the prisons, you know? Okay. And when you say the

cartels that run the streets, I mean, you're talking about the prisons that are in the turf of the cartels?

In the state, yeah. In the state, okay, okay, okay.

And we see this on the documentaries right and movies how the leaders of gangs go to jail they get 200 years in prison but business as usual they're still running things from the prisons out on the streets

how real to life is that that's a hundred percent fact you know there is no stopping it really you know they it means nothing to be locked up in you still get communication out and you run everything well at least that's how california is based on you know that's how it's organized to be in reality main members don't do anything no more

i mean it tells a pretty a pretty hard i mean it's it's quite a hard road story when you end up getting sent to San Quentin, and in your mind it's just another day, do you know what I'm saying? Like

It's kind of soul-destroying to think that someone as young as that has grown up with such violence and such negativity, and you're still there. I mean, nothing's changed, right? and i mean in a enough in a alternate reality robert if you'd gotten out of prison and then just ran to alaska right and just kept your head down would things have caught up with you in alaska

yeah but i had the choice you know it was me that gave my word to come down and continue and then that's where my mind was that you know i breathed and and my heart was in the cause, you know?

Yeah. And when you say it's your family, is it your family family, or is it familia?

Yeah, familia from my dad's side, pretty much.

Okay. So, I mean, even if you left, you're still in.

Yeah. You know, I had two lengths to choose from, you know? The California Gambane or the family down here.

i mean i mean it just seems like a different area code but the same business bro yes pretty much but like i said there's no comparison oh yeah i mean if i was if i was going to be in your position i'd be choosing mexico 100 like uh like i would choose mexico because i i don't want to be doing 40 to life for some madness out in cali yeah well now i i pretty much see that you know but

i never been how do i say it a sidestepper brinca charcos they call it you know so what i started i always finished so that's why even when i came down my family was like hey the northern guys you know come and i was like nah you know i don't sidestep i don't do that you know i maintain true to you know at the end of the day i was 16 and i had already had a double life sentence so pretty much i had my whole life committed to the cause so even though i got out that never changed really you know my that mentality at least yeah and like what's it like growing up

in a world where people's life expectancies that you've grown up and loved and are bonded with is so low i mean it must be a lonely world at your age now robert i mean you could say that

but i never felt it you know i'm gonna be honest with you you know just it was just part of how we were meant to grow up you know i wasn't the only one you know my grandpa taught us my dad my dad uh always kept us in the states for for the same reason you know out here and and where to have family at pretty much but i was the one that always went back and forth I went and spent time in the States and they came down and spent time down here too

and what's next for you Robert I mean what is what's the end game is it just business as usual until

right now I'm working yo hello can you guys still see me or have we both frozen is it me or is it you robert's frozen okay cool it sounded like

it sounded like that fbi open up meme i'm not gonna lie and then just interesting though interesting story um i'm not gonna lie for the first 20 minutes i was pretty skeptical of everything that we're being told um if i'm if i'm going to be honest but he's kind of winning me over and when we've got somebody who's involved in mexican mafia business coming on and telling prison stories like we're used to on the sean atwood channel isn't really an option you can talk about what he's

done which he did um but you're not like we can't assess this from the same set of rules like we've seen with some of our guests um so robert's robert's grown on me by the end of this i'm not gonna lie um it was touch and go the beginning but it's quite a sad life it's quite a sad story when you have such violence integrated into culture growing up and double homicide but you know what I was doing when I was 16 not that you know and I think a lot of us were really quick to judge and really what hope did someone like Robert have do you know what I mean The rage and anger that must have been in 15-year-old Robert must have been unreal. You know, that age is confusing for us all, okay? But when your family's part of one of the most notorious and terrifying crime syndicates there is, you know it's worth taking a minute and actually going over the story as robert's told us bro it honestly sounded like someone had kicked your door in and then it just went completely black

yeah it's because i'm out here in culiacan you know at the edge and there's it's rainy season out here and there's a huge storm i apologize for that you're good bro it was it was the timing of

the lightning strike and then you just go and complete the internet going uh so yeah we're we're lucky right i was just i was just saying robert i'm going to be honest with you like it was touch and go for the first 10-15 minutes this interview with you bro like i didn't know if you were just sitting here blowing hot air up our asses or or what but i understand a lot better now that we're 40 minutes into the mindset of somebody who has grown up the way that you have is still active in the world that you are and how other people within that world see discussing things like prison stories right which of you know when you see a lot of people who come on the sean atwood channel they're like oh i've seen this guy doing that and this i imagine you're still very much on the keep your mouth shut part of the part of the part of the career path right which is why i circled you back a few times because i wanted to see if you would start talking but you never and it's it's quite a common thing when it comes to people who are active not necessarily like and again i'm not trying to send any government agencies your way but it makes a lot more sense that you wouldn't be telling snitchy stories you know no like i said i don't

speak about current stuff i don't you know even though i don't like i dislike what i want not the homies underneath you know but the head um i still want to speak nothing that is not out

there you know oh no yeah that too bro i didn't mean that i mean that goes without saying man that's uh signing your own freaking ticket there mate um so the reality is you know

when i got busted i didn't have nobody before me to really give me that that schooling on how things were inside right it's all lies and betrayal and our own are the ones that are always gonna go after your juggler you always they're always politicking or they want to earn their strife by uh by stepping on the homies you know and that's the reason i came on the i came on YouTube to put out my story, I put out a message, you know, at the end of the day, I'm at the end of my life, you know, I'm going through somehow things that I'm not going to see through, and you know, I found God, and my channel, I don't speak about religion, you know, I respect every religion but uh again i'm just simply putting out a message through my walk through things you know nothing more nothing less well tell us about your book as well yeah i recently put out a book and it basically tells my story on how i was a kid and how everything started basically

up the message through the book because uh me i'm real doma technology so i figured and maybe one day technology poops disappears right and but books they last so i got the opportunity to put out a book again it's just about my life story my personal walk and uh it's been going good thank you god you know but uh yeah it goes more into detail you know there's personal pictures there and there's no mask no none of that you know

what's your uh advice to the 15 year old roberts of the world who are gearing up for a life of gang crime but have a chance to turn the other way

My advice, like I always say on my channel, I'm not on you to spread poison, I'm not on you to tell you to go weenie, my advice is love your neighborhood, love your homies, those ones you grew up with, those ones you were being troublemakers as a kid, you sweated with, you bled with on the street. but at the end of the day always have that angle the angle being you know mature basically get out of the gutter you know get out of that zone and push for yourself most importantly push for your family that anywhere you're at anywhere you do time your loved ones are going to do time with you and that's a fact and they're the only ones that are going to do time with you so that's my advice just stay true to yourself in order to your loved ones and when I say loved ones that includes good friends you know you have since kids just don't get fooled by there's a lot of that in California you know older individuals get out and they pop their chest out and they start trying to get in people's head and that's where it's at you gotta go earn your stripes in the prison system and there's this and this and that and that's basically why I'm on here just to open that glimpse to basically when that that presents itself to the individuals as it once did to me they're able to see it for what it is

it's a hard thing to imagine though after hearing the upbringing and the surroundings and everything like that there seems to be an extra layer of what you're giving up from your story Robert from you know from the traditional gang world stories that I hear I would still have my family to go back to if i stepped away do you see what i'm saying so the dynamic the dynamic is it's quite terrifying robert and i don't mean that in the traditional sense i mean from the the thought point process point of view of the options of 15 year old robert and whether you've seen it at the time right it's not even about that it's about if we just look at you as a point of data robert and what you were up against the options and the outcomes of those options it's a crap outcome whatever happened yeah yeah that's for sure it's hard but that's because we can sit here all we want and be like oh well he was 15 you know he should have he should have known better he should have made better choices all of this stuff but it's so it's so prominent to your story the details you know the the devil's in the details it really is well

you know i knew i know what i was doing like i said they taught me since very young what to do but uh i basically had no option you know that's why i thank god every day for this opportunity you know I shouldn't be here and not just in the sense of my walk you know through what I went through because but in the sense of my health you know God's been maintaining me here for so as long as I'm here I'm going to try to at least have my walk turn into something positive for someone, you know? i mean is that since you found out about health reasons and your panic turned to god and trying to just like clean up the final lap here robert or what we're looking at no you see when i step

back my mentality was to come back to the ranch not say nothing and get suited and booted and and go you know i knew i knew all the ins and outs and basically deal with the situation without involving extra people you know and unfortunately like i said god had other plans for me you know he took everything everything and you know not everything the people that

lost their life in that alley lost everything and the people that were stabbed in prison lost everything robert you are sitting there quite quite the thing slapping books out going home to your family and cracking on bro so lost some time maybe but again like you say it was just a walk in the park for you so it's it's a tough one to find the

silver lining on all of this one and you know that's one thing about me i'm truthful

i tell you something bro like i say where we're at now compared to where we're at the start like i could write another i could honestly do a part two where i've got a much better view of the question you can answer um but in saying that i don't even think you would be able to answer the next set of questions i think everything that i want to ask you would result in horrible things happening if you were to answer them do you know what i mean and not even not even because you're snitching or anything like that it wouldn't even be like snitch stuff but it's just not worth the it's not worth us even teetering towards the line mate do you know what i mean yeah um so what i was

saying is to you is like you know i don't i don't come on here to look for compassion or i'm honest with everyone i tell them i was part of the problem i was a part of the poison and i have never denied that you know and i will never deny that because technically you still are right technically you still are yeah yeah you know and it's gonna be like the more so due to my bloodline

till the day i die pretty much you know and again it's it'd be easy to sit here and be like well you've got a choice you don't really have a choice robert and this is the thing like it's it's a sad it's a harrowing it's an upsetting it's a rage fueling story because even when you try and hate robert and blame him for everything you circle back to that 15 year old kid and even worse the 10 year old robert the five year old robert you know what i'm saying and it doesn't take swings and roundabouts and puppies and roses to produce a life where at 15 you end up in san quentin and you go well hey it's another day at the office that's pretty hardcore and you you know you seem like uh uh honestly bro i'm not gonna lie i could quite happily sit down and destroy some of your local and Mexican cuisine while we slick down some beers and talk some crap because I think the offline conversations are probably 2% closer to we're getting answers on things but I just have to say Robert it's been great talking to you I think we need to possibly put together I've got a friend called Eric who's like a freaking former like alcohol firearms and tobacco guy it'd be very interesting to see the conversations between you two um but i definitely like to get you back at some point mate because it's it took me a long time to warm up to you but i'm warmed up now and it would be good to see um where we can go with another show also i like to do panel shows where we've got people from each side of the law coming in and talking to each other so there could be that to me um but thank you so much for giving up your time coming and talking to us letting us know about your life and being honest because you know people talking about things that they're not necessarily proud of especially when unaliving people uh you know whether you're reformed whether or not you feel bad whether or not with anything at least nothing can be taken away from your honesty and how up front you've been about it and you know thank you so much for being here brother and i hope everything's okay i hope everything works out and when we hear from you next we've you're still always

still got 10 fingers 10 toes you know what i'm saying so but look thank you for being here bro

i really appreciate it thank you it's an honor thank you for having me and we'll see you again

it's your pleasure you know whenever just let me know i will do and and like i say again uh there was a few of us that were wondering what the hell was going on for the first start of this podcast but like it really does make sense when you just take a minute to think about why you're answering the way you're answering and going about the way that you are. Because personally, I wouldn't like to end up in a hole in the desert because of a podcast either, Robert. So, it makes perfect sense.

That's what people don't understand, you know. Just because they're my family, don't mean anything, you know. I don't mean anything. I have to maintain in line, per se. Because like you say, you would end up in a

also oh yeah it's no joke bro and again it's again it's the hierarchies of the criminal pyramid that people don't understand uh even when you're talking about families the head of that family there's always there's always the next there's always the next peck in line bro and even if uh anyway you know how it works but look thank you robert thank you to the mods thank you to agent orange thank you to everyone out with the side chat thank you to sean atwood channel thank you everyone at home i'll be live in about 10 minutes over on my channel listen to some music chilling out and robert we'll see you again and i wish you nothing but the best i hope you survive the storm

bro no thank you and i apologize for that again oh no you're good bro you're good listen bro

it sounded like the beginning you know that fbi meme right where it's like freeze fbi and the door swings open it sounded exactly like the beginning of that so i'm just glad that you're

right bro no thank you thank you again for the opportunity it's an honor and reach out to me

whenever it's possible yeah i will i'll get um sarah to work something out i'll get something worked out to get it over to sarah and then uh send it over and we'll get crackle back and i tell you what i mean i'm i'm interested in all of the criminology of mexico the cartels and all of that we maybe have a couple of offline chats and try and piece together what we can talk about in certain areas and then do a show about it just so that we're prepared and I don't ask you any questions that I think you can answer and you're like that's another one that'll get the old the old six foot under 10 scenario so but we'll get that organized Robert and I really appreciate it man

thank you so much I appreciate you

alright everybody listen you've got nothing but ron all day tomorrow okay it's ron and paula ron and babs and then ron and another gentleman all night uh so yeah some of you'll love it some of you'll hate it regardless i'll see you all there robert thank you thank you tomorrow thank you channel see you next time take it easy peace all right bye