Muse

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Hey babes, it's Paris Hilton. So I was checking my points balance in the Hilton Honors app the other day, and yeah, I've got about a billion, which feels excessive, even for me. Just kidding. You can never have too many Hilton Honors points. And I want to do something iconic this summer, so I'm giving away all my Paris points. Just find somewhere you've always wanted to stay, then go to my socials or Hilton's and tell me about it. Just make sure you're a Hilton Honors member, and I might be sending you Paris points, because when you want points that make your summer even hotter, it matters where you stay.

hi i'm livia wilde i somehow got talked into being on smartless so i don't know this is a disaster welcome to smartless smart smart

Less

Smart Less

Willard deal Willard deal Willard deal

Can you get a small I love that you get a nice small mustache And then start doing the Willard deal And I'm gonna go full Like a little pointy goat Yeah like Willard deal So, Sean, are those new specs? Oh, yeah. Do you like them?

Nope. Nope, you don't like them. I do like them. I'm sorry. You said that so quickly. No, I do. I do. They're nice.

Wait, who made the clear horn-rim frames famous? I feel like it was like a Ted McGinley or one of those handsome fellows. You're welcome. I think I did.

Andy Richter. Oh, Andy Andy Richter wears them. Andy's always worn them.

Yeah, for a long time.

What did I just see Andy Richter is in?

He's in Obsession.

Obsession, yes.

Yeah, he was great. I love Andy. Can I just say that just as a general rule? Andy is so funny. What's not to love? He's so fucking funny. Yeah, he is funny. Well, then you can take the surprise out of your voice. No, I'm not surprised. But you have those moments where you just think about something and you go, God, Andy. God, we used to have so much. Remember when we used to play cards with Andy? Steve's still alive. Yeah. No, I know. I'm just saying, remember, we used to play cards all the time back in the day.

I know, with Kyle Bass. Yeah, with Kyle.

I remember Andy one time at my old place in Venice. Remember when he came down the stairs? And he had, somebody, Giles had brought, like, fudge or something, and Andy came down, and there was fudge all around his mouth. Uh-oh. And he's like, hey, I couldn't find the fudge. I couldn't find the fudge. I couldn't find the fudge. I couldn't find the fudge and it was all around his mouth. He was like, it wasn't anywhere. I couldn't find it anywhere. Yeah.

Jay, what did you think about Obsession? Wasn't it a good movie?

Yeah, I really liked it. Now, is that what you were watching with my wife the other day?

I was watching it with your wife in your house and you weren't there. I was so jealous. It was just me and her. Oh, let me just check my phone.

Scotty was there too. And Scotty was there, yeah.

Let me just see if I... You're going to pay for that. I know. You will pay for that one.

I will pay for that one. No. You're going to text the guys after this session. and you're going to say, hey, guys, would you trim out the little spot where I totally forgot that Scott was sitting next to me?

Wait, Jason, you just nodded to somebody. Is that somebody making you an egg sandwich or something?

Ew. Very close. Oh, ew. Who's there? Thanks, Morgan. Who's Morgan? Morgan is my incredible partner here in... JP? Oh, you've got a partner now. Look at you. Yeah, she's... Now, I have two partners here. I don't like to say assistants. Yeah, good for you. Because I like to stay relatable. Yeah, sure. But you know who is assisting my assistant here? Who's that? Franny. Francesca Nora Bateman. Is she there right now? She is. She is. Aw, tell her we say hello. I love her. Want to see her? Yeah, let's see her. Turn the camera. There she is, out there in the production office. Can you see her? Look at that.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

Look at her. Look at, you're just in some lonely office. You know, by the way, you know who stays relatable? people who don't say I want to stay relatable because they don't have to curate it my insincerity is bleeding through yeah man what is the sandwich that you got though are you going to dig into it

I don't know. So we just push forward. We don't talk about your NetJets or... Let's go past that. We'll go past that. Let's talk about NetJets. Or your Long Island second home. God. Look what I got.

Let's talk about NetJets.

There's Scotty. Oh, look at Scotty.

Don't try to make up for it now, Sean. Oh, Scotty, he's doing prey hands. By the way, it's easy travel. You know, you call and then they're there and then they get you from where you need to go. It's NetJets. You should try OneFlight. OneFlight's a better service. OneFlight. OneFlight. NetJets. Guys, this is disgusting. It's so gross, guys. It's gross. Let's not cut it, though. So, Sean, now, Sean, what did Scotty bring you? Is that just a bowl of mixed Pop-Tarts? No.

It's warm milk. It's tea. It's tea with sugar and cream.

Sugar and cream. What kind of, even with the tea, you can't take your foot off the gas.

I think it's artificial sweetener today. What kind of tea are we having? Just regular English breakfast tea. Okay, okay. You know, there's a cake lady coming, though. Remember the cake lady? Well, this is not a surprise.

Yeah, but yes, I do remember. So, Jay.

I don't remember.

What do you mean, a cake? He's got a woman who I've used her. She's amazing. She's great. And she'll make any cake you want. What do you mean you've used her? What are you talking about?

For one of the kids' birthdays. Yeah, we call her, her name is Cake Lady, but she has a real name.

Well, let's pull the relatable bus over to the side

for a second. No, she's like 10 bucks a cake.

You don't go down to the fucking store and buy a cake?

No, she's like 10 bucks and she delivers it.

Yeah.

She makes it and she'll deliver it to your house and it's the best case you've ever had.

Because it's such a drag to go to a store and put some time in to buy your child. By the way, if anybody gets a sighting of JB at a store,

please take a pic. Please, snap a pic of JB at a store. And post it. Let me tell you, went to Whole Foods down a chamber street.

There are a few things that I like better than pushing a cart aisle by aisle by aisle and taking about three hours to do 10 minutes of shopping.

Fucking file under the heading of things that never fucking happen.

I do love a good market session. When was the last time? I mean, last time I was in, actually, what, two days ago. I had to run down the street to get me and my assistant's assistant some dinner. Do you go to Whole Foods? No, I went to this, no. This place that is...

Oh, I know that upscale marketplace. Yeah, Meadow Lane, right? Yeah, Meadow Lane. By the way, that place, you talk about relatable. It's like the most expensive market in Tri-Band. But hang on. But it's so convenient.

It's just down the way.

And it's so nice. It's so aesthetically pleasant. What's it called?

It's called Meadow Lane. It's sort of... Sean... It's the rich man's air one.

It's the craziest place.

Which is redundant. It's very small, but it's incredible. It's nice.

I don't mean to disparage the place.

It's very nice. I know, but they've got to come down on prices. It's going to go out of business. You can't charge $25 for a prepackaged chicken, Chinese, whatever salad thing.

Wait, do you know what Erwan backwards is? Yeah, man.

Nowhere? Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Okay, our next guest, guys. Today's guest.

Hey, if you fold a dollar bill into three things, then you'll be able to see that there's a message.

Do you know what Moorpark is backwards? Moorpark, you know the street and the valley? Sure.

Yeah. Well, tell me. Crap room? It's crap room.

Crap room, yeah.

Wow. God, my 14-year-old's going to love that. Right? Because she goes to school and they're there. Okay, thanks for bringing us down. Guys, sitting and chatting with us today is pure sunshine on feet. This actor-director is a woman I have had the deep pleasure of working with twice. Wow. As an actor, she has done fantastic work in both comedy and drama, in film, stage, and TV. As a director, she's one of the most exciting and sought-after new voices today. And having already done three films, which no doubt there will be more, as many more, as she wants, as she wishes. She's a true friend. Olivia Wilde. Reveal yourself, Olivia. And today, your tasty ear meal here is Olivia Wilde.

How in the world did you get that, Will? Will! Will, how did you get that?

Because she's one of the most sought-after directors. Oh, of course. Come on, of course. That's an easy, that's a layup.

I think you could hear my heavy breathing. I think that's what it is. Was that your small dog?

That was the last part of the intro, Jason. It's known for her heavy breathing, right?

Wild. Olivia, welcome to the show. Welcome, yes. This is great. I feel like it's long overdue. Can we have trouble making your deal or something? Oh, my God, is this overdue?

What? Well, everyone, I finally did every other podcast and this was it. No.

You saved the best for last in this world, right?

This is so exciting. Sitting here spying on you guys is a really weird, thrilling thing.

I apologize for all the coffee chat. All our trash.

It's so great. I want 45 minutes of that and three of me.

Well, guess what? Yeah, here it comes. We're not going to let you talk at all. Yeah, our favorite is to ask you a question and then tell you what our answer is for that question. And then whatever time remains, you can tell.

Oh, I know. I'm a longtime listener.

Are you? Big fan. Who's your favorite?

Yeah, of course. You're my favorite because you brought me on. Will didn't, even though Will and I just worked together. We did. That's right.

Oh, you did? We did. That's right. Did you guys have scenes together? We did. Really? Yeah. Pivotal scene.

Pivotal scene. We don't want to say too much.

Let's go ahead. Let's start with that. Tell them about your film coming out, y'all.

We're in a film called Behemoth.

I'll say.

It's Behemoth and directed by Tony Gilroy. The great Tony Gilroy. The coolest.

He's the coolest guy of all time.

Hey, Will, why don't you try to book him, huh?

Yeah, why don't we give him a... I'd love to have... I am going to get Tony... I am going to get him. Will you?

You have to.

Oh, my God.

Dude, he... I'll fan all of that guy. By the way, listener, please look Tony Gilroy up, and you'll be amazed. Just his credits alone, he's just incredible.

Michael Clayton, his first film somehow, which is bananas. That's the first film that he directed.

That's a great movie, yeah.

Yeah, that he directed. He's an incredible writer, but that's a perfect movie.

He gets Robert Elswit to be the DP on that, right out of the gate.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It's like Citizen Kane. He's like, how about this? I'll try this job and it's perfect. But he's so cool and so chill. And he makes it look so easy. I was just entirely obsessed with him and his wife. He's got a real cool thing. Like you and Amanda, Jason. He's like that. They're like just cool and obsessed with each other. Amanda's cool.

She carries a cool for both of us. Yeah. Yeah, the great Tony Giller. God, we love him. We love him. I will say, can I tell you something funny? Olivia, it happened to me last week. I want to listen. Let me listen.

So this is for us.

So I had dinner with Tony like two weeks ago.

Oh, yeah.

And here in LA. And then I... To talk about reshooting your stuff.

That's weird. I was here. But anyway, keep going.

We just got you. And we split the bill. So we both put our cards down when we signed the thing or whatever. We split. Surprised he got half out of you. A couple days later, no, I did go through the bill. I kept going, you had two drinks, right? You had, because I didn't touch. Who had the French fries? If I'm looking at the dessert, like I never even touched it. And so then, and then a couple days later, I go shopping to buy a few new items to get some clothes. And the bill was pretty hefty. And I give him the card. The guy gets it back. And he hands me the card back. And I'm talking to my friend. And I look down. It says Tony Gilroy. Tony Gilroy. Yeah. So I go, and then I text him. I go, hey, man, so listen, you're about to get a big charge. Thanks for the tops. And so he goes, oh, shit. And he goes, I'm going back to New York. He goes, all right, I'll come over and grab it from you. I'm running around the corner. And he goes, I'm trying to think if I bought anything in the last couple of days. And there's a pause in the text. And he goes, the only thing I thought I think I bought, embarrassingly enough, are mothballs.

What?

And I go, what?

that's relatable

he's got a lot of cashmere he does

he does a lot of cashmere I bet he sleeps in cashmere but this movie is starring Pedro Pascal and I have no idea when it comes out but it's going to be so good because there are at least seven composers on that film it's a film about music and Pedro plays a cellist and you also play a musician Did you get to play music in the movie?

No. You didn't?

I read it. I think I read it. I read my scenes. No, I read it.

You thought it was about it.

What instrument did they say your character played well?

They just said it's just a bunch. He's just kind of like an all-around kind of... Whatever's available? Yeah, and he's a dude who kind of... I don't know if you're catching my 10,000-yard stare. He's kind of a guy who's got a lot going on inside.

I love when you wet the reed. Hopefully, it's some sort of wind instrument. And let the spit out. Yeah. So, truly, it's about conductors, composers? Sort of, right?

Yeah, and like film composition, like music for a film. And it's kind of a love letter to that world. And they show that process, which is so cool.

Yeah. That's cool. Wow. Yeah, that is something that your average moviegoer does not get a chance to learn about that much. Yeah, exactly.

it's fascinating it's really really fascinating kind of getting in and out of them the people who who inhabit that world and what they are and you know and some of them are just the most brilliant

and Will plays Pedro's brother

yeah

put that together in your head.

Wow.

Make that make sense. And it does because you're that good. It was the tan. It's the tan that you currently have. That's why he's still wearing all the makeup.

Thank you. No. You guys. All right. Talk about me like I'm not here. He's good. All right. He's good. So we've got, we started at the end. Let's go back to the beginning. Hey, Livvy. 1942. I don't think I've ever called you Livvy. Now, this has gotten some press before, and I apologize to ask you about it, but maybe some of our listeners haven't discussed it. Right away. Buckle up. But it's cute. I like it. You had to change your name, didn't you, doll?

I, you know, I didn't have to. I chose to. Well, you kind of had to.

Let's walk the audience through the original name. Yeah, I don't know this. What's the original name? Yeah, it's fun.

It's real fun.

It's fun, but it's got some real lineage to it, too. So go ahead here, guest.

You talk. Okay, thank you so much. I was born with a different name.

Oh.

My family name is actually Coburn, but it's pronounced Coburn, but it's spelled, and I'm going to, I weirdly have a visual for this. No, listener, you won't get it, but it's for these guys. But my last name is?

Oh, wow. Cockburn. Sean, you were just talking about cockburn like two days ago.

Yeah, that's...

Right? By the way, I'm still talking about it.

When are you not talking about it?

I forget, but in particular,

it was behind a dumpster. Anyway, whatever.

You had a real case of the cockburn.

I mean, if anybody has any ointment or anything, let me know.

Wait, it's really pronounced coburn?

Okay, but this is the thing. That's not unusual. In Scotland, it is pronounced coburn. I've never expected anyone in my life to ever be able to get that, to predict that. So from the-

C-O-C-K, by the way, so people can say.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

C-O-C-K-B-U-R-N. Cockburn.

Very literally how you would imagine it being spelled. And it's a name to grow up with to build character. You know, it's a boy named Sue. And it, yeah, my family are all amazing writers and journalists and just badass people.

And that book you just held up, is that somebody from your family?

Yeah, my sweet assistant has built this little tower for the microphone, and she happened to use all these books that are written by my family just to intimidate me. That's amazing. To remind me I haven't done shit in my life, and they're very impressive. That's not true. But they're all amazing, yeah.

Well then, but so, A, how early did you change the name, and B, you landed on Wild because of your affinity for?

Oscar. Oh, wow. And yes, and so I changed it when I was 18, right when you legally can, if you can believe it.

But hang on, but you went through the toughest teasing years with that name. Oh, yeah. How'd that go?

I truly think it's good for you. I think that everyone should be given one really devastating part of their name, just so you— I was just talking to Dax about this because he also, this was also where he wanted to start. He was like, it was a start.

Yeah, well, we are a child of that podcast. Wait, that's true. I've never spoken to Dax about his name. What do we know about Dax's first name? It's actually Cockburn. Yeah. What is Dax? Is Dax short for anything?

Dax is actually his name. No, I think it's Dax. I think he's born Dax, right?

I forget why his mom. Daxel. What was the deal with that?

Daxel. Isn't that weird? I've never asked him about that. Daxel.

I have, and I forget.

Daxel.

So wait a minute, Olivia. So did you, so when you, so 18, why 18? Because, so you wanted to change it forever.

Well, no, I'm, you know, I moved out here. I came right from boarding school. I came right to LA and I was a casting assistant. And I was doing, I was going to auditions. And I was like, I want to forge my own path. And I had, I wanted to change my name. And I had like great affinity for other people who had done that. I thought it was really cool when other people had done that. And I was like, I want, what would I do? And I, the first play I did that I really loved was The Importance of Being Earnest. And then I read everything that Oscar Wilde wrote and I just became obsessed with him. And he's Irish, my family's Irish. So that's how it happened.

Yeah, it's such a great name.

Yeah, I didn't think it would be interpreted so like pornographically, like the first 10 years of my career, every headline, every magazine was just like, get wild, like born to be wild.

Wet and wild, wet and wild.

And I was like, oh, fuck, I didn't really think this through.

Could use a little cock burn right now. She kept it as a middle name.

I did, yeah.

No. Wait, but what about being an assistant casting director? Was that, now, I would imagine that would have given you some comfort as you started auditioning that you'd kind of been on the other side of it and you kind of, was it less intimidating?

You know, I did it because Keener had done it. I was obsessed with Catherine Keener and she had done it. Catherine Keener. And it's not something most casting directors will let you do. Like they don't usually hire wannabe actors because it's like dangerous. You have little spies in the office. But I worked for Mally Finn. Do you guys remember Mally? Yeah. She was a legend. And so I worked for her first when I was 16 and then when I was 18. So when I was 16, I did it for a summer and then she let me come back at 18 and have a real job. And I worked there for almost a year. and it was wild. I really saw how the sausage was made.

So were you outside like in the sort of reception area and watching everyone practice their faces and mop their brow? Oh my God.

And it was so many people I later worked with and I was like, I've seen you in another light when you're mad at me because it's taking too long and parking is annoying and you're late and you want coffee.

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All right, back to the show.

did it help you at all like understand the audition process like did you feel like it

gave you a leg up yeah also she had crazy high standards so she would not accept anybody unprepared or not off book like she

would stop people and say um why don't you come back when you've done the work and i loved that it gave me this sense of like you better be really prepared like i never have gone to an audition without being without being prepared but she had crazy stories and the thing that i love is that while i was working there there was like this great legend hang on let me drink my coffee

because go ahead right out okay smooth as silk oh yeah so while i was working there there was

like the legend of the sam rockwell audition and it was like she would tell us like the best audition i've ever seen was sam rockwell auditioning for the green mile jason's directing him right now let me tell you this and please repeat this to him at work today so she said he came in and it was the last day of the director's sessions the last possible day you could audition and he came in and he had been given the wrong scenes and this man sam rockwell he didn't even pause he said well give me give me the correct scenes and i'll go learn them really quickly and they said that's impossible sam it's it's 10 pages of dialogue you can't possibly no one could do it and he was like just give me a chance i i don't want to miss this opportunity so they gave him the right scenes he goes into the hallway they only have five minutes to give him to learn the lines he comes back in and he nails it and they were floored and he got the role and she said that that's an actor who can work that quickly so years later i'm working with sam and i'm sitting next to him in the makeup chair and i was like sam it's so nice to meet you what an honor i have to tell you i i always heard this story when i was an assistant and it just really inspired me and he goes oh oh yeah that was like a thing i used to do that that worked every time oh and i was like are you fucking kidding me oh that's great i have been brilliant like he i thought that this he i revered his ability to like flash memorize he knew he had the correct size it was a whole performance oh my god so the it's so genius because it lowers their expectations then if you even like say half the things right they're like god damn this man learned this in

five minutes he's a crafty bugger he's a real operator of that rock i've got to keep my knees

and the way it's so standing he's like oh yeah that's just like a thing I used to do and I was like wow he deserves an Oscar

I don't know if I told this before but we can cut this out if it's boring already too boring? Sean, cut, pre-cut pre-cut pre-cut so I went to go audition for the bucket list with the brilliant Rob Reiner rest his soul, he was amazing and he and i walk in and i had the wrong sides right i worked for a long time and i walked in and i had all like it wasn't even slightly wrong it was completely rewrote all these scenes and i started auditioning with the with the scene and he's like what are you doing i'm like what do you mean and he's like these are who gave you these sides like my agent he's like no there's a whole new script and he's like i'm like i didn't know that i go great then let me come back a week later and i'll go work on them so i work on them and i had this bit already and i walk in and it's just me and Rob and like a couple producers and a cast director. And I was like, you ready? He's like, yeah. And then I started going, why did you order so bad? Like the worst acting you've ever seen on purpose. I go, why did you order the code red? I didn't tell you to order the code red. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No, no. And I stopped and he's laughing and I go, did I get the wrong side?

That's really great.

That's so good. I started doing the scene from A Few Good Men. That's so good. Did he give me the part? Yeah, I got it.

Nice. Very nice. So now, Olivia, now that you're on the other side of the table in these auditions as you're directing these things, are you incredibly more compassionate than these actors?

Yes, and I take like 12 hours per session because I'm like, you go. I want to hear it all. Even if I know from the first moment that it's not going to be them, I'm like, this is your time. and it's a disaster for everyone else because I will milk it. It's so hard. Auditioning is a fucking nightmare. And these people, they come and it's so vulnerable. And yeah, being on that side definitely made me a little kinder.

But there's so much more also self-taping now, right? It's all self-tape, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

That part seems fantastic, right?

Where you can just record your audition. Yeah, then the pressure's off. I like the room. I like the room. Yeah. What if you don't do well? What if you forget your lines? With the self-tapes, you don't send it until you're happy with it.

But you overthink it. And I mean, can you imagine how much the overthinking? And also what I find is when people send me tapes, they've overthought the framing, the lighting. People have full setups now. And I'm like, you don't need that. I'd rather have someone's like shitty iPhone selfie video in their car.

Right.

On the way to their real job. And then like-

At a red light.

Yeah.

Rather than like a full setup.

I'm like, you didn't have to do that for me. I don't need all this.

But Olivia, what made you, how did you know that you wanted to just move to Los Angeles and work in a casting director's office? Well, truly Keener. You moved from where?

I read the Keener Donner. I moved, I was at boarding school in Massachusetts.

Okay.

Who went to boarding school here? You said somebody did. Oh, you did? Yeah. Where did you go?

In Canada. We don't talk about it. We had a bad break. Board of School and I had a bad break.

Okay. Yeah. Well, mine was, it's tough, but I went to a fancy one. I can't complain. It was very bougie. But I graduated and left the suburbs of Massachusetts after growing up in New York and then D.C. And I had never spent much time in the West Coast. I thought L.A. sounded like this, like, incredible mecca of excitement. and I came out here and took, like, two city buses to work every day in the casting office and then started auditioning and, you know, kind of, like, scraped my way up slowly. But it was really the dream from the beginning. So for me, it was very exciting even just to be here.

And where'd you stay when you came out? Did you move into the Oakwoods?

No, that would have been fun. That sounded so fun for those people. That's just for pilot seasons.

I did a few pilot seasons. So for Tracy, that's a place where the actors would go stay when they came out.

It was like a corporate housing. And there would be that thing. I remember pilot season, you'd have like six auditions a day and you're not getting anything. And the back gate is on Barham over there on the way down the hill towards Warner Brothers. And on the back gate, when you leave, there's a sign on the gate and you had to wait for it to slowly open. And it said, smile, it's showtime.

Oh, so dark.

And it's like February and it's raining all day. And you're like going back for a crappy pilot and you're just feeling like, I'm worthless. Oh, so hard. I'm 31. Nothing is happening. Smile, it's showtime. Fuck me, man.

Well, I had given myself a limit because I had taken, I deferred from college and I was like, I'm giving myself a year or like nine months and if I don't book anything in that time, I'll go. I think that's good. I think giving yourself a little bit of a deadline.

What was the thing that you would have gone back and studied in college?

I mean, acting. I mean, it would have, I think I would have studied, I really probably would have become a writer like everyone else in my family, or I would have tried. So, but now if I went back, which I like to fantasize about, I think it would be like, I think I want to study neuroscience. I'd like to go and do, wouldn't that be cool? I thought there'd be a bunch of math I'd have to catch up on though, which is not.

I've got a couple of friends that are doctors and I just, they walk on water to me. I just like, that's really, like you certainly aren't born with any sort of natural talent to cut people's brains open and fix it, right? Like you could be born with talent to throw a football 100 yards or whatever, but you don't come out with it. So it's all learned. You have to learn so much and you don't learn it until you read it or it's explained to you. Jason respects discipline. He respects discipline. Yes, yes. And self-education. I think it's incredible.

I wonder if they are born though with something. Maybe you are born with...

Well, you just have an affinity to want to... Greater intelligence. Yeah, or learn that. That's why I'd get into neuroscience, because I'd want to get in there and see if they are born with it. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Get in there. You'd cut them open and look for natural talent. That's how we'd learn if they are born with it. Yeah, you fucking dummy. That's why I'm doing it. Yeah. You think Dr. Gary walks on water, by the way?

I do. He's an emergency room physician. He's got to do everything.

No, you don't disrespect his golf game, because he's so straight, and he's always in the fairway.

but what about I have a friend that was like he's like I don't trust doctors I don't believe in them I think you know statins like just he goes on and on about like what you're talking about RFK Jr. yeah your top dog yeah I'm having dinner with him tonight no no top dog no but like what do you think about these people who don't ever who constantly put doctors down I'm with you I'm like I've taken the two choices about someone who you know stuff you read online or, like, self-help, whatever, and somebody who's studied it day in and day out, I'm going to go with the guy who studied it. Yeah, just assuming that those doctors must be wrong.

Like, wait, what?

Also, that there's a bigger conspiracy at play here that they're looking to take the, what is it, take the world over?

They've all organized and figured out how to trick us all.

Sean, do you think, Sean trusts doctors too much. I mean, I would say that maybe.

Yeah, he's got a punch card at Cedars. No, they call him paddles when he comes in. He's got aphid and he's always getting it fired up.

I mean, I had to play a doctor to be anywhere near it. House, let's talk.

about house.

That wasn't me trying to like segue into my career

at all. You're wild in the house.

We appreciate the help.

No.

And for our Canadian listeners it's the show known as House. Yes.

Created by Canadians. Wasn't that next door to us over there on the Fox lot for a rest of development? I thought you meant Canada. Oh man.

I wish I was on your show.

I wish we were all back on the 20th lot. Wasn't that great? Just like

just going to Apple Pan every day for lunch.

Apple Pan's in my life. Is that still there? Oh yeah. Oh, I think it is there. I think Irving Azoff bought it. Yeah, I go there after therapy. Didn't Irving Azoff buy apple pan? That's right. Or am I thinking of Nate and Al's? No, you're correct. Or both. Sean, you go there after therapy?

So like once all the feelings come up, you go to stuff them back down?

Yes.

With the tuna melt and the milkshake. Yes.

So good. And the fries.

All right.

All right. So we're back. We'll go back in the time machine. What is Olivia Coburn watching when she's a wee lass that's inspiring her to become an actor.

Okay, this is the thing. I think about this a lot now. My family, we watched a lot of comedy together. And it is my greatest memory from childhood is the sound of my parents laughing and all of us laughing. And my mom has a really funny thing. She still like cries when she laughs and it's just adorable. I love that. She would always be like wiping away tears and my dad laughing so hard, all of us. And when I think about it, it was a lot of comedy that I wouldn't have been absorbing the real meaning of. I mean, a lot of-

Like Taxi, all in the family.

Yeah, and like we watched like a lot of comedy that was probably a little too adult. And then a lot of, you know, we watched like Wayne's World a thousand times. Like for some reason, Wayne's World was like a huge movie in our family, but a lot of SNL. And it was a real joy to just sit and watch, you know, all the Monty Python together a lot. Like, we just, it was the best. And I think for me, watching comedy, even watching, like, for me, I love Lucy. I watch a lot of old comedy television.

Yeah, we do, too. I do, too. I watch Cheers a lot.

Cheers, the best.

I love Cheers. God, I love Cheers.

And so I think about, like, oh, of course, that's where I find myself now wanting to make comedies. Because it's just, I think it is probably the happiest memories from childhood. I think I'm trying to recreate that feeling.

Did you go like, oh, I'm going to go and do this and I want to be in comedy? Like, was that like a thing? Yes, yes, yeah.

I think probably because it was, I probably at the earliest age saw how happy it was making my parents. Like I think, and then I would, I was the ham of the family and so I would make them laugh and then I would, I was the jamun of the family and I would go and like just entertain everyone and they always had parties. My family, my parents were very social and very good hosts and so they had these amazing parties all the time and it was my joy in life to go and, like, perform as the little kid. So, but I really think it was from watching all these great movies together and I think about it because I'm like, am I showing my kids enough, like, great films? I hope so.

Jason, you're good about it. With Franny, you've been so good about it.

I put them in front of the TV before they could even speak because that was my upbringing. I mean, that did, like, you know. Because you were playing golf. Yeah, because you're busy. But, you know, they got to learn somehow, you know, colors and numbers and things.

No, but you've talked in the last couple of years, like you and Franny talk about film and you sort of put a lot of good stuff in front of her. Like that's been important to you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, really important to me because that's what I had with my dad. It was great subject matter and shared references and, yeah, I just, I love it. Yeah, you don't want to expose your four-year-old to the wire, but, you know, it's just like common sense I'm not afraid of screens it's the best

and when they get it it's so great but sometimes they'll be like they'll come back from their dad's house and be like we had to watch 12 Angry Men and I'm like

jeez

I don't know

if that's well Suds you know Suds loves

the 12 Angry Men over and over what are your what are your kids what are your go to what are the repeats like they they'll watch the same one movie over and over

well I miss when they were really into like musical theater I mean, Otis used to be obsessed with singing in the rain. And it was so sweet. He would watch it over and over and over again. And, you know, Mary Poppins and all that stuff. And now, now it's more... Actually, the thing that I love that he's into is Godzilla. The original, the old Godzilla. Oh, no, with like the claymation. Yeah, like Mothra. Have you seen that? The 1960s Godzillas are so cool and beautiful. And he and I went to Japan a couple weeks ago on like a little mom-son trip. We went for a week. I'm so jealous. And it was the best. It was like, it was just the greatest trip I've ever taken with another person alone. Like it was, we laughed constantly.

constantly. And it was, it came from our shared Godzilla obsession.

Can I, can I just say as an aside, have you guys been to Japan before, Sean? No, I want to go. I've been a couple of times as a kid and I have actually promised that exact trip Olivia just took to, to both girls individually, just father-daughter time. And I have not, I have not done it yet.

I've talked about with Abel, the same thing. Japan is the greatest place. I couldn't love Japan anymore. It's amazing.

And it's great for kids. It's so clean. Like, Otis couldn't get over the fact that there's no trash on the street and there's no trash cans. So it's not because, like, oh, they have so many trash cans. It's that they just respect the city enough to not litter. It's the—everything about it is interesting and beautiful, and we had the best time. We got on the bullet train. And I bet you love it, Bateman, because it's very efficient. Everything about it. Like, the train leaves, like, literally, like, to the second at the time that it says. It's, like, the opposite of Italy. And I love Italy, too. But it's, like, there is.

We went for the train. Yeah.

It is. And Otis is like that. It's coming. The train will leave eventually.

Make a big deal. Have a nice coffee, one cigarette.

It's predictable. And I think kids really like that, too. They like the idea that, like, it's going to happen when they say it's going to happen. and they're just the coolest.

Well, I saw this thing about Japan where if a kid, I may have gotten this wrong, if a kid is wearing yellow, then that kid is by himself and everybody watches out for that kid. Come on. You know? Oh, my God. Like the kid isn't, doesn't have a...

Unchaperoned.

Yeah, unchaperoned, yeah.

Wow.

Or an orphan, perhaps. Maybe that's an orphan uniform. Right. Just walking around looking for a home. This one's free. Just grab this one if you want. No?

I don't think so. Come on, Sean. No, but I think I saw that.

I don't know if that's true. I don't know about that one.

It's probably not. Oh, hang on.

Olivia, this is a segment we like to call I Think I Saw That. It's really a lot of conjecture. It's next to the other segment called Scrub My Search History by Sean Hayes. Wait, we have to introduce that. I may have dreamt this. All right, so here we go. What was the thing? What was the thing? What was the job? What was the thing that turned it all? Because you're auditioning, you're doing stuff. What was the thing? What was the first boom?

I guess probably the OC. The OC. Oh, that's right. I was a bisexual bartender, Alex Kelly. And it was a big show. Bigger than I knew it was when I agreed to do it. And it was wild.

You know, it's being rewatched.

Oh, I know. because these young folks, now they come up to me and I'm like, what do you mean? It's such a deep cut, but they will say like, I love you on the show. And I'm like, what show? And it's the OC and I can't believe it. I mean, for them, it's like Nick at Night now, right? It's like old. Right, right, right.

I wonder why they landed on that as opposed to, let's say, 90210 or Melrose Place or-

It's close enough. And also they're obsessed with early aughts, everything fashion now too. So like it is from that era that is now weirdly coming back. And so they're into that look and the music. It's relevant.

Sean, you're about to be in style again. Oh, jeez. I mean, this is the good nation. I've been waiting.

It's going to pay off.

Yeah, your like low-rise jeans and your little crop tops.

Yeah.

It's coming back.

The thing in the mirror behind you coming up, it's closer than it looks. Yeah. We'll be right back.

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oh that's hard it might have been the same five people our family

let's talk about the change up let's talk about it let's talk about it My favorite memory of the change-up.

My favorite memory is obviously sitting on your lap, topless.

With pasties. No, I mean from shooting. I mean from the movie.

Oh, okay. That was also fun.

Yeah.

That was a good time as well. We really had the best time. I loved making that movie. Right? It was a blast. Ryan's the coolest. He was so fun.

David Dobkin was so freaking awesome. Oh, Dobkin. It was so great. It was really fun. Down there in Atlanta, I loved it. That's right. Remember when I stopped by on the set?

At the same time, yeah, Sean,

you were making Three Stooges at the same time, right? Yes, you were.

And I walked to the mall to go see Green Lantern, and there's Jason and Ryan filming Change Up in the middle of the mall.

Oh, wow.

And I walked right into the middle of the scene. I was like, hey, guys.

Oh!

They should have kept that.

Movie would have done better.

With the curly wig on? Yeah, totally. At the fountain. I think it was the fountain right in the middle of the mall.

Oh, right, the fountain. You guys were so good. You were so funny together.

You got to bogey over by the fountain. Totally. I was shuffled along very quickly.

And then we do Drinking Buddies, Joe Swanberg. That was completely improvised, is that right?

Completely improvised, yeah. That's like the true Swanbergian way, which is kind of that mumblecore, which I think they hate that word, mumblecore. It seems very, I don't know. It was, you get, there's no script. There's a sort of outline and then you just improvise. What is this for? Oh, this was a movie called Drinking Buddies. Oh, Drinking Buddies.

Isn't that similar to what they do on Curb Your Enthusiasm? Shawnee, you've done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just get the outline and you go. So there's no written script?

No, zero. You just got to hit the beats and then you start. It's super fun.

It's so great. And it was the first time I kind of took myself seriously as potentially being able to write something or maybe direct something one day because we were really in control of the story. And it was a collective effort. And that workshopping was so fun. It makes it very real. And it was, we kept learning from what happened and then letting that affect the next scene. So it was like, oh, now this would happen to these people. It was-

But you shot it in order.

We shot it mostly in order. And that led to then the movie that I just directed, this movie, The Invite, that I did completely in order. And it was all really started in Drinking Buddies days when I was like, this is so fun. And it was a dream. I loved making that movie. In Chicago, drinking beer.

I love that. So that was my next question is, so did Drinking Buddies inspire you to want to direct?

Yeah.

Is that the experience?

I kind of, I wanted to before, but that was the first time that I was like, wait, I think I might know how to put a scene together because I was...

given the chance to sort of be a part of that process. And it was, I was like, this is the most fun. I want that.

And now having done both, obviously, scripted and this version where it's improv through an outline, do you prefer one or the other or?

I think there's a, what I prefer is what I ended up getting to do on this movie, which was we workshopped the script together as cast and writers. Yeah. And then we were able to shoot it in order. Yeah, it was like a play. and it was a very well thought out script ultimately, but we had kind of worked it together and not in a full like Mike Lee way where we spend like a year improvising on a cliffside or something, it's not that. But it was very organic because we had come, we had really massaged it together and then once we got on set, we knew exactly what we were doing. I like that.

Well, so tell the audience a little bit more about that one. This is called The Invite And it's inspired by or based on… It's based on a Spanish film. Okay. Oh, okay. So, yeah. So, tell me, how did it kind of get started? Who watched the film first? Come on. Who called the other person and say, you know, let's do it this way? Okay.

So, Rashida Jones and Will McCormick wrote…

Love.

We love. Love. …wrote the English language adaptation of a Spanish film that was called The People Upstairs. and it was a small Spanish film that was based on a play that you can sort of see the origins of it as a play because it's four people in one apartment and the whole thing takes place with four people in one apartment over one night. And the idea is that it's kind of a dinner party gone wrong. It's about a husband and wife. In our version, it's myself and Seth Rogen who have been kind of plagued by the sounds of our neighbors upstairs having very loud sex. And it's been driving Seth's character kind of insane. And unbeknownst to him, I've invited these people over for dinner and he's furious because he doesn't want to have dinner with anyone. He's tired from work. But he says, fine, if you've ambushed me with this, I'm going to bring up the noise from upstairs. And I'm like, over my dead body, you'll bring up that noise. You will not. Please just try to be normal and have a normal night so we can have friends. and so the whole night he's kind of threatening to bring up this thing and they are endlessly kind of sexy and enigmatic and they end up really blowing our minds and changing our marriage in one night. And the other couple is? Penelope Cruz and Edward Norton. What a cast. I mean, it's insane. Unbelievable cast.

It's insane.

And so Rashida and Will wrote the English version and I got that script and I was like, this is hilarious. and it was clearly an opportunity to make something in this way that I had been obsessing over since Drinking Buddies. So I was like, okay, we can shoot this in order and we can really personalize this script together and workshop it and make it really specific to these actors. And we can shoot it on 35 millimeter and we can make it really fun. And I'm obsessed with my nickels. So I was like, this could be our Virginia Woolf. And it was the best experience of my life. Sorry, Jason and Will. I love working with you guys. This one was great.

But then, so you take this great script from Rashida and Will, but then the four of you get together, the cast, and do you guys start to take and even plus the script because of the specificity of each actor?

Yes, and we really, the six of us sat for two weeks. This was the thing. I was like, can we stop giving away rehearsal time immediately when we make movies? Like, it's the first thing we give up. We were just talking about this recently. And it is impossible to convince people. Really, agents. Agents are the ones who are like, no, he's not available until the minute you start rolling the camera. And it's like, why? Why can't we consider it part of the job? Can you imagine doing that for theater if it was like, no, I'll be there for previews?

Then what they do is then they prorate their salary. They say, well, so an extra two weeks of work at this number means... Jason's also an agent. I don't know if you knew that.

Yeah, be my agent, please. But it really was so fun because the six of us sat at this table and we tore through the script and Rashida and Will were so game to kind of let it evolve to what these actors were thinking. And it was so fun. And it was like, imagine, I mean, Seth and Edward and Penelope are all real filmmakers on their own. I mean, they're directors, they're writers. And so the opportunity to kind of get all of their good ideas and put them in there. And Edward, Edward is on another, first of all, Edward's maybe one of my favorite SmartList guests.

He's, maybe that episode is really, really great. Well, he's so smart.

He's so funny. Yeah, and he's so funny. And people don't even, people do know it.

But I'm obsessed with him. And he ended up improvising like an entire monologue in the third act of this movie that is so beautiful. And it really just, it was his gift to us to just kind of like, he said to me, I'm gonna, I have a story I want to tell on the scene. I kind of don't want to tell you what it is. And I was like, okay, yeah. How long, like roughly? Just because we're like rolling film and I was paying for the film and I was like, just like, how?

Was it longer than a full mag?

I put a thousand foot mag on the camera and I was like, go! And he used it. That's 10 minutes, right? And it was really great. But Penelope Cruz came up with the funniest set piece in the movie. And it was all with the, you know, workshopping with Rashida and Will who would, man, just like run with the punches of roll or run. Do you roll or? You roll with them.

You roll with a punch, yeah. They rolled and ran. They ran with the ball. They ran with the ball.

It was the best. And then I wasn't supposed to be in the movie, but the actors bullied me into playing that part,

which was very sweet of them. Well, now, how do you find that? Do you find it efficient to direct yourself or do you find it distracting?

I think in this case, it was efficient because it was so intimate. It was almost like having one less body on set was actually really helpful. And I think that it allowed me to see things they were all doing. these geniuses were doing so many little things that I could see things the camera couldn't see. And so I'd be like, oh, okay, now we need to come around because Seth is doing something that I actually need us to get. And so in that way, it was good. I feel like it could be very difficult in a different situation. I also was playing someone who was like riddled with anxiety and which helped because I could just kind of be me.

Were they comfortable with you directing them inside a take or did you have to wait until you yelled cut before you gave them notes?

I wasn't, I didn't do a like, okay, give me a little more, give me a little, like in this, it's still rolling. I want more, go deeper. I didn't do that at all. Like in character, directing him in character. Yeah, yeah, no, I really believe in letting people kind of play and try things and then knowing that what I really can do as a director is later on prune and adjust things in the edit. So I just think it was like encouraging them to keep experimenting. And with Seth, I would have to tell him he could be meaner to me because our characters, it's a very contentious relationship and there's a lot of arguing and he's a very non-confrontational person. So the most direction I gave Seth was like, you can fucking scream at me. Like I can take it. And angry Seth, it's a thing to behold because he's got it in him, it turns out.

How many days was it then? It must've been. 23. Amazing.

Yeah, so fast. Wow, wow. And like, just the best. I mean, we were on this little soundstage, Sunset Las Palmas. It's the pink one. If you remember the opening of The Player when he drives in, it's that. And it's iconic. It's great and tiny. And we were all, we built the set on stage and we just, you know, banged it out. And then a year later, went to Sundance. It was so fast.

Did we get in the weeds for one second? Did you have multiple cameras? Oh.

We had one camera. No, and then towards the last week, we brought in a second camera because we wanted to just be able to... There were some scenes that they benefited from two cameras, but I didn't want to. I felt like I had been inspired by Tarantino saying, don't be a hack. Have one camera, pick your perspective. Anytime you have two cameras, one shot is suffering. And I was like, oh, that's cool.

Well, but you've got these four people talking all the time. And so you've got to do it four times at least so that everyone gets a camera pointed at them. Yes.

We did a lot of like shared frame. That's why it is very theatrical in that way that like there's a lot of times where we're sharing the frame, which is why we had the best focus puller in the world who could somehow predict when someone was going to improvise a joke.

And it's also better, I think, for comedy because there's nothing worse than cutting back between, you know, from singles in comedy. I love seeing people inhabiting the same frame in a comedy.

Oh, it's so thrilling because they really did that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so much better. So if you take a left on Las Palmas, like street parking, obviously, again, Jason, I know that you want it.

Where'd the trucks go? Also, editing comedy, too, I just find, I always think, you know, I gave you, or whoever it is, they gave you the comedy timing while you were filming it. And then the editor plays with it. It's like, no, we gave you the timing when we were filming it.

Yes.

That's what it is.

Exactly. That's why Wonders are so good.

Exactly. Because they're just fully intact. But you had so much technique and...

know-how and execution right out of the gate with book smart was like just like a stunning

accomplishment that must have felt so good the movie's so good that was your first movie you

directed yeah it's insane it's insane i i think that it it really was because my proxy film school because i didn't go to college didn't go to film school and i was always insecure about that lack of education and i think that being on so many sets as an actor i just paid attention to everything and I just tried to absorb it. But yeah, I think Booksmart, I think often your first movie is the one you've been building up for your entire life and you put all of your ideas into it and you have so much to give and you're lucky if it resonates with people. And I got so lucky because it happened to hit a place in a lot of people's kind of shared trauma of adolescence like you that's the thing I love about high school movies

but even but just the but just the making of it Olivia like you know and the stuff that you wouldn't have been around to observe and to sort of cherry pick from these great directors all this post incredibleness in that film the editing style the choice the choice and the use of music and stuff like that's all shit that you people usually need like a handful of movies under their belt before they really kind of I don't know I just was so impressed

Again, the science of it is you're born with it. You're born with it. Yeah, we're going to cut you open and take a look. Yeah, get in there.

I love it. I'm a much better director than actor, but I love acting too. I don't know about that. I dare you. Guys, tell me, am I wrong?

No, you're right.

No, I just love it.

You paused after you said that just to leave room. So, Olivia, what's going on when you're not working? Pickleball or what?

Oh, no. Should I learn it? Fuck.

No.

I was in Central Park the other day and they were playing it and someone was playing like Jimi Hendrix stereo and like everybody was playing pickleball and I was like, what a beautiful hobby that I don't do, but I like to watch.

Yeah. What is the hobby someone would be surprised to learn that you've got? It's just us. No one's listening.

Between us gals.

Yeah, or the pastime or like the guilty TV or the thing. Do you have a thing that you do? You're like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm wasting my time doing this.

I don't really. I don't, I mean, hobbies, yeah. I mean, I feel like I'm, I really recently it's like I'm working or I'm mothering.

Yeah. What's the dumbest thing that you do? Because like the, you know, the directing is like, you can't stop thinking because you, there's never, you've never had it all figured out. So like, what do you do that, that requires zero thinking? Do you ever just stare at the television and let it just talk to you? Yeah. Yeah. So will you get wrapped up in crap? Yeah. Oh yeah. I just watched Love is Blind. Oh, God, it's great. So good. I did four hours of Below Deck yesterday. You did? I did four full hours of Below Deck yesterday.

I did a 90-day fiancé before the 90 days. I've done a bunch of episodes. Wow. Olivia, any reality at all?

I mean, I love Love on the Spectrum. That makes me cry. And I love it so much. Incredible. And no, I mean, I love a housewife. but I think that for me it's like

oh any city on Housewives

I like Beverly Hills but I think that any city will do it for me yeah but I think that like I just watched all of Love Story and I got really what's that it's not that's the Ryan Murphy that's the Carolina set oh right right right got really into that and it's not quite reality TV but you still feel like a little there's something a little guilty pleasure about it

I haven't watched that but the only bummer about that love story to me is that it's made

They die in the end?

No, it's made Odeon really busy again in Tribeca.

Oh, my God. That's right.

Oh, yeah.

All these people are coming. What the fuck is going on?

Oh, get out of here.

Oh, that's the restaurant

we ate at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Before we let you go, because we're coming up on the end here. No. This is crazy. I know, I know. Holy shit. Talk to us about another new thing coming up called I Want Your Sex. I do. I Want Your Sex. Right? All right. It is.

You got a clip. That is, I want it. That is Greg Araki, who is a real, like, very cool filmmaker, who is a real L.A. filmmaker. He is an auteur and wild. I mean, very, very much an individual. And I play a dominatrix. And, of course, and I get to.

And who are you dominating? you're dominating the sweet little Cooper Hoffman you know he doesn't deserve to get whipped

he loved it he's the best and it

is a very, very campy, fun movie. And it was really cool because when we were at Sundance with The Invite, I Want Your Sex premiered on Friday and The Invite was Saturday. And I just felt so lucky to be able to- That's amazing. Like to be a part of this fun business where we get to tell all these crazy stories and they both got bought magically. And so, and they're coming out- Oh my God. Right after each other. And it's so fun. Yeah, it's like invite and then that.

Yeah, so I Want Your Sex comes out July 23rd, which is in about 10 days from this air date here. And the invite is out now. Invite's already out. Yeah, it came out June 26th. June 26th, New York.

That's my birthday. You're not on my birthday, guys. Now you have plans. No, we have plans. I mean, you did plan plans. We saw it, yeah, on my birthday. That was my birthday again.

And you had the best time and everyone laughed so hard.

Yes, I loved it.

Oh, I'm glad you loved it. Your favorite film, come on.

of all time you liked the beginning and you loved the middle but you really it was the end that got you yeah yeah

she shed a tear yeah

I walked out not dry and then we're gonna all look forward to the behemoth with sweet sweet Willie Arnett coming out sometime next year right

at some point

meanwhile you're probably hard at work getting ready to direct your next incredible movie we're all waiting for it keep jamming

please be in it

you're the best

can you just give us a hint of what you're working on or an area or no?

It's a comedy. It's a Christmas comedy.

I'm in. I'm already in.

I love a Christmas comedy. You should see Sean play an elf. He did it with Kenny Rogers for years. He was on the road with Kenny Rogers.

Please come be an elf. I'll send myself tape over with real good lighting. Yes. I'll actually put myself in a winter wonderland just so you really get it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, please.

Yeah, yeah.

Great.

What was your line? Santa, I don't know when to hold him or when to fold him. Fold him. What was your line?

That's what it was. That's what it was. We love you, Olivia.

I love you, guys.

Thank you for doing this.

Thank you for having me. What a dream. And congrats on everything.

Yeah, super, super congrats. Thank you. Keep going, girl.

Thanks.

Bye. Talk to you soon. See you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Wow. That's the incredibly charming Olivia Wilde.

Love her. With a talent to match. Yeah.

You can tell she's funny. She's super funny.

Super funny. so smart so so smart and and so cool you're so excited that she's directing and that and that

it's it's like she could like just do it forever you know like yeah she's incredible at every gear

she's got every gear she's got every director actor and they're all working they're all working yeah i know all the other i'd love to have a a gear would be nice a gear she's got them all You know?

What are you doing with your life, Will?

I don't know. I'll tell you what I am doing on October 17th.

What's that, huh?

Well, if you go to smartless.com slash live, you'll find out what I'm doing, and it has to do with the Hollywood Bowl. I'll just say that. I'll just say that. It's got to do with the Hollywood Bowl. What's happening? I'll say that. Smartless.com slash live has to do with the Hollywood Bowl. What do you mean? And you know what? I'm going to invite you guys. What? To join me.

I'm available.

Yeah. at the Hollywood Bowl. What are we going to be doing? We're going to do a live Smartless show at the Hollywood Bowl. Smartless.com slash live on October 17th. It's going to be... It's going to be... So it's going to be...

Fwomp, fwomp, fwomp. Hollywood Bowl. Oh, wow. Listen, what we're going to do is we're going to... You know, New York's got the... Okay, here we go. Finally. Jason's got one. New York's got the apple. LA's got the orange. And so what we're going to do is, since, you know, the Hollywood Bowl is such a big part of LA, we're going to go ahead and take out of the orange. We're going to take a big bite. Bite! That was the worst ever. Smart.

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