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Hey there, Will Arnett here. Welcome to SmartList, our podcast where Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and I, each week, one of us brings a guest that the other two don't know about, and this week is no exception. We get real into it. Most of the time, we just mess around with each other, and then the guest has to be embarrassed. So let's get right to the podcast.

Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, good. Should we go around the room and just say our names and our roles? Introduce yourself? Yeah, I'm Sean Hayes.

People have been listening to the podcast for a minute now. Sorry, so we just skipped that. Same three idiots. Okay. In the role of Sean Hayes is Sean Hayes. Should we switch parts today? Oh, we could switch parts. Ooh, yeah. I'll play Will. I'll play Will. What about that? I want to play Will. I want to play Will. You guys are assholes. You both want to play me?

Let me just ask you a question. Let me just ask you a question. I got one second. Fuck.

Oh, God. Okay, I'm going to be Jason. So I was, you know, so now listen. It's hard for me, though. So when I look back and I think about all the things that you've done, let's start at the beginning. Okay, so America was founded in 1492.

But what if I want to really be understood? No one understands me in my house. You know, I've got a wife and two girls. It just, I start talking, they glaze over. So I really have to fight for attention. I get on this thing, I feel like I've got to stop describing my question, right? We've spoken about this before. And I just need to ask the question.

And then Sean's like a golden, Sean comes on and he's like, do you like whipped cream? The Golden Retriever.

The Golden Retriever. What's your favorite color?

If Will was a dog, what kind of dog would Will be on this podcast?

Oh, God, that's a good question. Will's probably like an untrained German shepherd. Messy, matted. Yeah, just drool coming out on the sides.

Bad hips, like the German shepherds get. Yeah, dysplasia.

Yeah.

Jesus. Because Bateman would be like a full-size standard but shaved poodle.

So cold yet fancy?

And very proud. Walks very proud. Very proud. Anyway, let's get to our guest. Please. Yeah, let's do it. And I'm going to tell you, you guys actually know this person, but we're going to find out stuff that we don't know about this person.

If it's my mom, I'm in trouble because I haven't called her for a while.

Can I just say, if it's your mom, what? Careful. This would be such a... Careful. No, I'm just going to say it would be such a mitzvah.

if it was your mom because we could really get into there's so much stuff about you and we've

known each other a long time that i want to know you know whose mom is not going to come on mine

because she's dead so that's our first commercial break we're going to go to a florist commercial

break right now sean by the way i will say your mom is dead but imagine if my surprise guest was your mom that would really that would be more surprising than me being pale

paler than me my god guys our guest today is from irvine california his mom was a teacher and his father played sax and keyboard for the righteous brothers do we get a chance to guess at any point no oh wait wait wait wait wait no don't guess because i want he studied sports journalism at USC, but ultimately went on to join the Groundlings, and the rest is history. He's got like a million movies under his belt, and I'm sure that's not the only thing. Ladies and gentlemen, William Farrell. Oh, my God. Wow.

Jason!

There's his headshot.

Jason! Hi, Jason! Jason,

answer the belly!

Jason, it's your mother.

First of all, she's british will oh okay sorry but but let me guess let me guess and let me guess and that

oh what a great booking sean congratulations um guys can i just can i start by saying i'm so excited to be on the gong show podcast all things you want to know about the new gong show and it is just i mean it's sweeping the country both countries canada and u.s and uh

uh aren't that taking fire it's unbelievable are you just drinking is that just medicine

out of the bottle that's what it looks like that's a kombucha i know that because my wife

drinks those but it does look like a tonic from old yeah yeah old time tonic yeah and i just i

drink it as a prophylactic sure yeah well feral thank you so much for coming on our our little my pleasure and we're all obviously such gigantic fans of yours and one question you know you know you're one of the rare people in this business and i think i can speak on behalf of everybody that's you know it's really hard to find people like you hold on one second will ferrell's got

a phone call yes tight five everybody okay that's a large pepperoni right oh do you want to do you

want chicken fingers with that oh i thought he was ordering he's taking orders okay can i get the

oh all right okay all right todd we'll be there in 35 minutes he asked for the address and then he knew the guy so he didn't need hey hey keep your landlines folks keep your landlines it is pretty strong that looks when the banking system collapse you're gonna want to have a landline

What I was going to say, William, was, Farrell, was I've always wanted to know, what is that one thing or that one event or that one person that made you want to get in the business and pursue comedy? Barack Obama. Correct. Before that. What? Before that. Great answer. Just like a week before that. The one thing? The one person? Yeah. Was there like a show or a person or an event or something in your family?

Oh, Jesus. This is supposed to be things you don't know. Here come the waterworks. Yeah. There you go. And we are losing light. We're losing light. I said I wouldn't cry. You said you wouldn't try to get me to cry, Sean. But right out of the gate. Here's the real answer to your question. Yeah. I enjoyed being funny as a child. But I was actually diametrically opposed to going into entertainment because I watched my father, the musician, go from job to job and be fired at the drop of a hat. And I thought, that's not who would want to do that. I'm going to have a job where I carry a briefcase to work.

I can relate to that. I had some of the same fears myself, yet I still went into this non-meritocracy and fickle sort of industry. You went in early.

You were early.

You were an early child. Right, but you were young as well, but, I mean, not a child, but you still had an opportunity to take a different path, yet you didn't. You still couldn't resist the allure of...

The pancake makeup.

Yeah, so what about that, though? The floor lights. After seeing your dad... Are there still floor lights? Yep. There's scoop lights. Scoop lights. Yeah, yeah, scoop, scoop. Yeah, scoops. No, okay, listen, Will, but seeing your dad do that over and over again and not like, you know, travel, not hold down, you know, a secure kind of jump. So what, if that discouraged you, what encouraged you?

I just kind of slowly started incorporating the messing around with my friends, which I'm sure we all did.

Keep it clean.

Okay, yep. Yeah, okay, you're right. um entertainment of my friend oh that sounds weird yeah uh the massage no no no tickle giggle tickle giggle you know we don't we'd love to have a good gang tickle giggle that's it we got it we're back on no i just had i uh high school was kind of the moment even though i wasn't like a theater kid or anything and i found myself uh writing what were essentially skits but was there like

a comedy person that where you were like god i wish i could do what that guy does or who did you think was funny when you were a teenager i i kind of the typical interesting that will arnett asks it once and gets a response the pipes yeah it's the pipes exactly i just got down to it

I didn't dress it up with a bunch of BS, Hayes.

I was a member of the Columbia House Record and Tape Club. And one of the items. Oh, you're being serious. I'm being serious. For $1 plus postage and handling, which really comes out to about $1.89, that's where they get you. I got to choose 13. Still seething. Well, it's supposed to be for a penny. You got 13 albums. And it's not a penny. It's $1.89.

Okay. It's the handling that's expensive.

Okay, man, we don't work there. It's the posters and the shipping and handling.

Yeah.

Not to mention, if you get one record a month, if you don't send it back within 14 days, you're charged for it.

Yeah.

Is that how you still use Netflix? I'm doing it the original way. Yeah, I never, I still get the discs.

I'm not streaming it. I don't blame you. Will drives by Ted Sarandon's house and throws discs at his front door. Here's your fucking movies.

I'm done with these, Ted. One of my, one of my, was the cast album of Saturday Night Live. Okay, great.

So you always aspired to be on the show that you were on.

I guess quietly, yes. Quietly, I did. But that's, so Will, so you wanted to. That and, and hold on, I'm not done. Yeah, shut up, Arnett. I know. Fuck.

Will, can I talk to you privately real quick? Yeah, yeah. No, no, Arnett, sorry. Listen, Arnett, when the guest is responding to a question, especially one that you answer, for Christ's sake, no, no, wait until there's silence. That's what Conan always does, you guys. Because silence follows a completion of the fucking answer. Here we go.

Okay. Steve Martin. Steve Martin? Yep. And then I was also a Tonight Show weirdo. I'd stay up and wait to see who the comedian was. If there was a comedian on that night, I'd watch. If there wasn't, I'd turn it off.

Wow.

So I was kind of, that's how I...

So those are the guys, Steve Martin, also an idol of mine, too, comedy-wise. I just thought so dry and brilliant. But what was that moment? So you grew up in Orange County, you go to USC, and then you go to Groundlings. What is that gap between when you—I never knew this. Like, from when you finished USC to Groundlings, what was that gap? Like, how did you—

So I graduate USC with a degree in sports journalism. So in my mind's eye, I'm going to go work on ESPN. You know, I'm going to be a sportscaster. Oh, that would have been great. I know. I blew it.

Missed it.

In fact, Craig Kilbourne brings that up to me every day. You remember Craig Kilbourne? Sure do.

Do you have an ongoing friendship with Craig Kilbourne?

I haven't seen him in probably 15 years. No.

Well, he's on next.

He's coming on next.

Come on out, Craig.

You'll see him in the green room on your way out. Come on out, Craig. If you were quarantining with Craig Kilbourn, that would be it for me. That would be the greatest. So you finish.

So, yeah. So I have this. I finish. And then I start doing my, I mean, there wasn't really a job placement program coming out of college. And so you kind of have to figure out a way. I found like a local Orange County cable access news station I started working at. And I was trying to put together a tape, which I wish we could cut to that now, that, in which, yeah, I did sort of do some field reporting and you would you would anchor the news. You'd also work the camera. You would do everything. And there was a light bulb moment in that, even though it was this small rinky dink local cable access, they had legitimate.

press credentials to all the major sports teams in LA. And at that time, the Rams, the LA Rams football team were playing down at Anaheim stadium. And the editor, you know, of the show, which was actually a teacher of the class, it was actually run out of a junior college. He said, Hey, we, we need someone to go interview John Robinson, the head coach of the Rams at the stadium after this weekend's game and 40 hands shot up except for mine but you knew him from sc yeah no no i'd never met him but but uh the point was here were i'm surrounded by these hungry people who were like i need that interview on my reel and my first thought was like uh i'm gonna have to check out a camera um parking i gotta ask someone yeah parking i gotta pay for it i gotta ask one of my classmates if they'll run sound for me yeah and

you don't have a lot of money from you don't have a lot of money left over from that subscription

to all those from columbia yeah no i'm in debt from columbia house representation um because he's in the middle of a major lawsuit against columbia we are we are on the five yard line guys and if please have me on next when we finally come to terms um but i'm giving all the money to charity but god we're gonna hammer them uh but i had no uh i had no i said this is not a good sign i should be leaping out of my chair to go and actually get a legit interview with a head football coach from the nfl on my reel so that i can get hired at a you know station in yuma arizona and uh i said if i don't i don't really have that drive then this other thing that's kind of still gnawing away at me is I should really be looking into this comedy thing. So that's when I signed up for my first class at the Groundlings. Really? Yeah. Tillamook ice cream is real,

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I'm not trying to prod you into doing it. How soon after that did you kind of braid the two

things by working on your Harry Carey? Oh, that was, yeah, that was kind of midway. That was a couple of years later during the baseball strike. And, uh, just kills me. Oh, that was

a character you did at

groundlings yeah yeah there was it was the baseball strike and i used to uh i had i had a job the art auction house that my then friend now wife vivica used to work at i was the appraisal coordinator at the auction house uh which was basically uh i answered the phones and coordinated appraisals and typed up appraisals and uh uh was was threatened to be fired on several occasions um but i would i live close enough home to drive home for lunch and i would turn the cubs games on during the day and i had never heard of harry carrie and i was like who is

this who is this guy yeah i grew up in chicago so he was a part of our lives a fixture right and so

i'm just i would be listening and uh the thing that struck me was listening to a game and listening to this announcer say on syndicated national television uh if that ball's a strike i'm a chinaman and uh and i i i literally did like a spit take and was like did he just say chinaman and wait wait wait this is like a guy who's paid to do this he's like uh and and so i i not not i just thought no this is this has got to be a sketch somehow and and they they so i somehow even though it was a southern california audience i wrote a sketch where it was during the baseball strike so harry carrie didn't have games to announce and he would he had uh somehow gotten involved in a play reading um and in a local theater and it was uh this this melodramatic play and they were just sitting around you know let's take it from act one and it was you know perry had lines like god damn it carol why don't you ever look at me when we make love and uh and i i and by the end by the end of the sketch the audience was like doubling over in laughter even though they they had no idea that harry carrie was a real person right this is something that's transcending you know uh yeah by the way by the way never knowing that

of course you do the harry carrie character so many times but the idea of him doing something it was always in the baseball context but seeing him doing something that's completely out of oh

yeah and and we had all these other actors it are we had a really good troop and everyone was just playing it perfectly straight and like this one actress maggie baird was literally getting herself to cry while she read it and and and it was just like your tears mean nothing to me this marriage has been broken since the day we crossed the altar you know and uh always kind of drunk right yeah yeah just and then and quaking a little and then my friend roy was the director like okay let's stop there harry i don't know if i'm feeling you know just giving the cliche acting notes and like, Harry, I really want to feel it from you this time. And you're speaking to no one but Carol right now in the scene. Okay, let's take it again. And just the starting and

stopping of that. Did you do Harry when you did your SNL audition? I did, which was, in fact,

I tried to do an augmented version of that. And it was so surreal because, you know, you're just in a you're just in a void you're on you're in 8h in the studio there god you must have been so

nervous i would have been just a mess i just remember listening waiting in the way so you

guys all know that setup they're waiting by the page desk outside the doors of the studio and hearing the person ahead of you go through their audition while you're on deck and just looking at all the famous pictures of everyone who had just hosted.

And being in the spot, in the place that you dreamed of being, and now you're there.

And then walking out to a studio that's pitch black, except for a spotlight and a camera and a boom operator and Lauren sitting in the shadows, and then you just have to do comedy. Or standing. In a void, possibly. So, yeah, that was very surreal. I tried doing it. I don't know.

Will Ferrell, I also want to know, like, have you ever desired to do anything? I know you wanted to be a sports announcer, right, or sportscaster. But if you weren't doing the thing that you're doing, not quarantining, but in entertainment business, what would you be doing? If you had to pick a blue-collar job, you had to pick, what would it be?

Oh, blue-collar. Because I was going to say, I've always wanted to do finance.

i just know it seems it seems so interesting to you i love i love finance

i love figuring out like a second more you know

So I can't even do the bit because I don't even know the terms.

Right, refi. Refi, low. Will comes alive. When you mention private equity, it's like.

What, what, who's that? Are you subprime? Is that still a thing? I actually could be a, I could actually be a post person to be quite honest.

To deliver the mail.

Because I like the idea of a route and you get to, you know, have some contact with people and the idea of finishing a task every day.

Would you be on foot armed with the dog spray or would you be in the buggy?

I would go foot with the trolley. I'd push the trolley.

Nice. Yeah. Nice. Those are sneaky tricky, those three wheels thing. They will go over on you.

I'm sure they, yeah, in a high wind or, yeah.

Or if you don't take the letters out, you don't go in a clockwise or counterclockwise rotation. If you take too many out of the left side, it's going to tip over on the right and vice versa.

Did you used to do it? Hey, how often did you look out the window masturbating at the postman? A lot or a little?

Only in the summer months when they wear the shorts. Look at that card.

There's David. There's David. David, our postman's here. Yeah.

David is going to topple. David, it's going to topple.

I'll get the mail. Hey, guys, David's here.

Yes, what? Wait. Cut to the reverses. Nobody's there. Nobody's there. He's alone. Hey, Bateman, quick question. Because you did, we mentioned before you grew up in showbiz. We all know that. We've seen the great things. And people who are listening can right now Google up, like, Little House on the Prairie and see cute little Jason Bateman. Yeah. Did you ever have a real, did you ever have, like, an outside show business job? Have you ever had, like, a?

I didn't. And I genuinely hate that. I'd love to have had a paper route similar to Dave's route with his three-wheeler.

But you were working all the time as a kid.

I started at 10, yeah, so there was no chance to. But I've always legitimately fantasized about waiting tables or bartending. There's something about working for a tip, which is sort of like the same thing as I want them to like me. I want this table, might need something different than that table. Just sort of like being able to morph into whatever they need me to be.

I have, I will say this, all my quote unquote civilian jobs, I've been pretty terrible at. So.

Because you didn't like authority or you were just disinterested?

No, like slow. Yeah, just like slow on the uptake. I had a lot of patient managers and supervisors who.

Did you have a lot of jobs? Like, do you have weird jobs in high school that you did?

I never, I was doing sports all the time. But I had, you know, I had like the, I worked as a bank teller. Um, I was a, a valet parker of cars.

Um, and, uh, how are you taking direction?

Uh, well, you know, bank teller, you know, there's certain protocols and procedures you have to follow and this and that. And it just took me a while. I mean, the fact that I was handling numbers and money was, it just, I was like.

Euphoric. What am I doing here? The finance loss.

I mean, that's, that led to my love of finance. but i i once had a regular customer stop me in the middle of a transaction and say can you call your manager over and uh i said sure and uh i brought her over and he's and in front of me he said this guy is your worst teller okay and i just want you to know this and he did in a very calm way and he was like look look at him right now he's sweating and i literally was i was sweating he's like he's terrible he takes forever he um and and the manager to her defense was like please that's that's not true and I was like no he's kind of right and uh um and I just want you know like I hate when I have to go to his window and then he just walked away and she was like I'm sorry about that I was like I you know what I can't really argue with him there's uh I'm not that

great a teller this was counting bills uh counting out cash or you know everything cashing a chat

yeah do it all um so that guy did you a favor in the long run right in a lot of ways sounds like

you need to pen someone a letter well every time i go every time i put the pancake makeup on And I picture that guy. And I say, who's laughing now?

So you still do all your own makeup? I insist on it. It's crazy. Well, there's allergies.

Especially in the, you know, post-COVID-19 world we're all about to step into, I will definitely be doing all my own makeup.

So, Will Ferrell, you are one of the funniest people on the planet, if not the funniest person on the planet. And everybody kind of, do you get sick of like, because now you're a parent and you have to show up to like.

school things and parent things for your kids do people expect that from you all the time and what is your reaction uh there is um there is a certain level of underwhelming is that a word yes yeah it is now i can tell i can tell there are a lot of let down people continually but will

i will say this you know will i don't even remember this a couple years ago maybe last year we were having dinner yeah I was having dinner with with Richter and Pete Giles and and you and Viv came in from a school event yeah and with a couple other parents and uh Will was wearing his name they're all wearing name tags and Will says hello my name is Will on the thing which is which is great and that's such a testament to what a great guy you are and it's like yeah man I'm not here I'm just here because my kids are at school here and I'm interested in my

kids and their lives in their school um but i'm sure you guys face the same thing i find more that there are some parents who literally won't say hi because they go so far the other way yeah i don't i don't want to bother them so then you're like hey how you doing and they walk right by like gosh

what did i say something wrong yeah yeah and then do you feel on the on the opposite of that do you feel that you have to sometimes lead with sort of a vibe that is less than uh sort of uh friendly or less than sort of solicitous of conversation because you're afraid that if you seem too friendly they're really going to lean in and like how do you kind of say no i would say that i would

say at least in the school setting most everyone is is is relatively normal i i would say that posture. That's my game face for when I'm on a commercial flight. Right. Just sour. Don't come near me. I will rip your head off. I will. Not here. Not here for fun and games. Let's get to

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Will, is there anything that you haven't done that you want to do? Either a role that you want to play or... Nope. Talk to you later.

Totally satisfied. How do I turn this camera off? How do I get out of here? How do I... Did I do it? How do I... No, there isn't, because everybody thinks you can do anything. I don't know. But how do you – you can't give that answer without sounding like a jackass.

Right. What would you do if like – let's say Ridley Scott came to you and he wanted to do King Lear and he just thought – he sees something in you that would just be like an incredibly – it's off-brand and studio is excited and all of those terms and all of that stuff. And the money is just like you've never – et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. does your douche meter go off and say even though you could do it do you feel like the audience will

never accept it yeah i think that would be a um that would be a tough one to try to convince

yourself that you could pull that one off having said that you have you have you king lear

are you about to no jason are you direct are you doing it no but you have but what about what in

And in all sincerity, I think you've taken what you do and you've pushed it into so many realistic, dramatic, melancholy things that truly nobody else could do, just like no one else could do what you do in comedy. I really think it's admirable how you are so aware of how you come across, what sort of your goalposts are, and what you're asking the audience to accept you as. I think that's a lot of discipline.

I appreciate that. But yeah, I mean, it's it's fun to do that other stuff. But there are times where I'm I am always on those sets of more serious things going, this is this is very hard. And this is hard to not look like you're trying to be the actor who everyone needs to take serious. So it's a drama face. Yeah, it's so it's so tough.

Which is so funny because doing what you do, specifically what you do, Will, is so hard. And when I say not many people, like nobody could do it. And it's so... Working out, you mean? Yeah. The way I work out? Well, just lats, the way you do arms and legs. Yeah. Nobody does legs like you. And you've always said that. And thanks for the posts. You always post them, too. Not a lot of people know that Will trained Reggie Bush when he came through SC.

I'm a fairly modest person. I think you guys, I think that comes across here. But I will not hold back. No one does legs the way I do.

You know? I mean. Leg day is a holiday in the Farrell household. Leg day is, yeah, it's just.

Now, here's the other thing, Will Farrell. You know, you're also known not only as the funniest person in the world, but one of the kindest people. Everybody in this business always just raves about what a great human being you are.

That's the hard part.

I can attest to that because you are.

That's what they pay you for. That's the part they pay you for.

You are very, very sweet. But so that said, I think the thing I always wanted to know, what really pisses you off?

Yeah. Here we go. This is where we start the interview. He's all kombuched up. Now, do you mean, oh, I'm fooling you.

No, we just want names. We just want names.

Yeah. When's the last time you just screamed your head off and let somebody had it?

Yeah, because I can't picture you angry. No, I don't. I don't get I'm trying to think of the last. I mean, I have screamed before. I have screamed in a professional manner.

Or like in life or like at home or like in people and human beings.

I mean, yeah. Home, it's, you know, the typical frustrations you have with your children. uh and for some reason i'm always checking myself because i'm holding them to some standard that i don't think i was held to like i was i was i mean i did well in school but i still had you know my room was a mess and i've i never emptied the dishwasher

But for some reason, I'm just like, you guys, it's not that hard. We're asking you to empty the trash. See, if I was your child, I would laugh at that. And put the liner back in.

Put the liner back in.

Reline the trash can. You're not done. It's a two-step process.

Right.

But that, for some reason, I get crazy. And then I'm like, who is this person?

yeah but i was gonna say about holding them to that standard i i you know during these weird times we had the other day uh archie our 11 year old was on his zoom class yeah and it turned out he was um he had his camera off and on the side he was on his ipad playing a video game so i said to amy i said to my ex i was like i was like what are we he's on the thing and blah blah blah and as i was saying to her like he's on the he's on the zoom class but he's on pause and he's playing a video game beat beat beat i was looking at her and i go which i probably would have done if given a chance and you probably would have too and she's like yeah i totally i know yeah exactly it was

crazy i don't uh i don't know why yeah i don't know why i go there but uh can i i have one other thing i don't on in a work experience kind of bugaboo yeah i don't love the unit publicist experience on a set right and for those listeners who are wondering there's a lot of times on a production there's a publicist assigned from the studio and this and that and they're always playing the game of like so-and-so's willing to do it if you are and then right guilting you yeah

yeah and they do they do these wide circles right they just do little drive-bys every once in a while to gauge whether you're in a good mood or a bad mood to just want to kind of run something by you

And I'm always amazed at, we want to have 20 journalists visit the set and do a three-hour interview while you guys are filming. And I'm always like, but wait, isn't the movie the first priority? And I'm always like, absolutely, if we have time. Okay, but when do you think will be a good time? You'll have to check with the first AD. OK, but is there a window? I have no idea. So you're up for it? Yes. If we have time. OK, great. So you've signed off if we have time. Right. And then I love those days when there's no time. You just walk by. You go, I'm sorry. There was no time.

Will, what was the thing I remember you were telling me once about kind of felt like the same thing. Somebody said to you, hey, we're going to do a golf tournament. Tiger Woods is going to come if you're in. And like you felt like somebody had told Tiger that you were going to play.

and it was like yes yes somehow my dad my dad became your dad my dad somehow became a middle man he was asking me he had some friend of his down in Newport Beach who came to listen to him play music was like hey so um he's talked to Tiger Woods and Tiger Woods is in for it if you and tiger woods play golf together and they'll raise a bunch of money for charity for another twosome so you're a foursome together and these two whoever you know it goes to the highest bidder to play golf with will ferrell and tiger woods and that he's already reached out to tiger and it's good to go and uh i was like well dad who is this friend and how well do you know him and uh he seems like a good guy and uh and uh and i go well you know a lot of times they'll ask one party before they ask the other and uh so maybe i'll check let me do some research and for some reason some way i had some way to check to see if the tiger camp had ever heard of this special charity golf doctor dr miller got involved exactly james miller and it turns out of course tiger i said dad guess what your buddy uh tiger woods apparently his team has never heard anything of this and your friend's lying to you and uh he was like how how could that be and i said i know that's the way the world sometimes works um what kind of music what kind of music does he play he's uh he's like an old-time rock and roll really yeah guitarist no he's piano sax hammond b3 organ wow wow let's hear it for the Hammond B3 that's amazing but yeah that was Mike Tiger Woods story

I just I always love that idea though I've thought about that so many times the idea of like so many when they

go like hey we want you to do this thing and so and so and so and so and so are doing it and i always think back to that story of like and then i'll go well why don't you make sure that so and so and so it's that's how i found myself on an island with marie osmond and kurt cameron you

know oh boy i got asked to uh uh play in another charity golf tournament by a friend assuming that i was going to play with the person i know right only to show up and be placed with four strangers and these guys were like in it to win it and they're like hey hope you're pretty good did you end up playing yeah i had to play this entire 18 holes with these four guys and they wanted to show you how good they were right a hundred percent they're like we hope you're good because we win this thing every year and you better be funny and you're well and i was it was early snl days so they kind of had heard of me maybe not they're like is that show still on the air i didn't know people watched it um sweet he sounds sweet and then i literally we we were supposed to be a banquet afterwards and uh i said guys i'm gonna go put my clubs in my car and i'll meet you back inside just just drove home and did we win yes we won even despite you really

you didn't stick around for the trophy i didn't stick around that's strong yeah so as we say goodbye to you on this pandemic day. What do you do the rest of the day?

Let's see. It's three in the afternoon. I'm going to go I might go walk our dogs, Peanut and Cosmo, right? So that's with a mask? That'll be with a mask. I'm going to do a sweep through the house to find where all the devices have been hidden because these kids are liars. and thieves and uh um so i'll do a sweep and um and then i've even we'll start talking about uh we we start talking about what we're making for dinner at around noon every day so we'll have to

start you got to build a day around that and then it's sleep by eight yeah jason have you done or

will or or sean well not to your kids but maybe to scotty have you ever done a thing where you go you're so had it with the devices i've threatened during this pandemic a minimum 100 times to throw the devices in the pool yes i said this ipad is going in the bottom of the pool

if i see it on one more time yeah yeah but then you quickly realize all that means is more work

for you yeah yeah true i did throw my my 13 year old uh matthias's phone out the window you did driving all of us driving but it was a real slow crawl and i i picked a target area where i knew we could find it later and i just chucked it out the window and hit this bush and he literally was like what is wrong with you and uh he was so shocked that i actually did it and uh typical true to form we pulled over he's like i can't believe it burst into tears went back to to look for the phone he's like i can't find it i can't find it i walked right up to the bush i'm like here it is it's right here and uh so that was a great little shot across the bow what you're capable of right don't mess what i'm capable of but it hasn't been much of a deterrent

yeah so well will ferrell thank you for being here with us we love you you're a comedy thanks

Thank you, guys. So much fun. Can't thank you enough. It was very, very nice of you, Will. Ugh, Willie. Bye, guys.

Love you, buddy. Bye, Will. Thank you. Guys, that was so fun. How awesome is he?

He literally is one of my favorite people in the whole world, and I was a little starstruck there for the first few minutes, but, God, he puts you at ease, doesn't he? What a nice guy.

You were starstruck when I came on or when he was on?

No, sorry.

Arnett. Oh. Oh, sorry.

When Arnett was, yeah. Sure. Good for you, dude. Good for you. Dude, I'm just like, I'm a regular guy. I'm very approachable. Farrell is the best, isn't he? I had the honor and pleasure and good fortune to work on a couple things with him, and they were some of my fondest memories because most of the time we just screwed around.

And he's one of those guys who you go, oh, no wonder you're a superstar because everybody wants to work with you because you're one of the nicest people in the business and incredibly talented, right?

Yeah. He's got that, as you know, you guys know, he's got that natural timing that you cannot learn. You just have it or you don't. And he has got it in spades in ways that are... He's got that thing that makes him... He's so surprising, too. Yeah, always. He just surprises you with stuff. It's just awesome.

Is there anything...

you guys uh learned about him that you didn't know certainly about his dad yeah isn't that interesting and all the sports journalism stuff that he was excited about early on right it's crazy i've met his dad a few times and i guess i didn't really realize his dad was a musician i

don't know how for the righteous brothers i mean that's crazy yeah uh i did not know he was on

saturday night live oh yeah that was you didn't know that wow my yeah no you got to go back and Look at some of those.

But you hosted a couple times while he was on the show, Sean.

I don't look behind me. I don't look behind me. I just look forward.

Oh, okay. I don't know how that's applicable in this case.

Sean, I'm very proud of you that you got Will Ferrell to say yes. Do you have any sort of incriminating photos or does he owe you money? They have plenty. How did you do that?

I have a couple. No, I don't have anything. I can't think of anything. Okay.

All right, guys. Love you guys. I love you. Hey, guys, I just want to say... Bang! Smart.

Less. Smart. Less.

Comedy royalty Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana in Heads Will Roll, Air Apparent, the highly anticipated sequel to Audible's fan-favorite original comedy series. Flanked once more by co-star Emily Lynn and a new star-studded ensemble including Richard Kind, Laurie Metcalf, Jimmy Fallon, Megan Mullally, Sam Richardson, and Carrie Coon, plus an extensive cast of comedy greats. Part medieval mayhem, part razor-sharp social commentary. Listen to Heads Will Roll, air apparent, available now on Audible. Go to audible.com slash headswillrollseries to start listening today.

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