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take if you will a picture of a story that starts with a twist she hears a voice inside of her can you my darling can you picture this today for a very special episode this is what it sounds like when doves cry if crossover is spooked stay tuned

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Spooksters. Today we begin with a secret. our story is from Sarah Wright an ecologist who writes about animal behavior and patterns in the natural world there's one truth that Sarah knows about nature that she'd never want to speak about our own assessment asked pretty pretty please if Sarah would tell us her secret

Sarah Wright told me that if I wanted to talk to her about her story, I'd have to come to her. So I drove to western Maine and ended up in the middle of nowhere, in the mountains, on a dirt road. And it got narrower and narrower until there was no road left, just forest. And then I got out of the car and walked through the trees. All right. And then I saw a tiny old woman with two long silver braids and high cheekbones watering a patch of wildflowers in front of a log cabin. Hello! How are you, Anna? Good to meet you.

Good to meet you, too.

What a beautiful cabin. Okay, we're going to go in the porch.

So right now, we're going to go inside.

Sarah brings me inside the cabin, a wood-walled living room with an aging couch, a screened-in porch. On her little white fridge, she's scrawled in a black sharpie, long slanting lists of animals and plants.

I say, okay, sand hills arrive, turkey displays. I don't know.

every year. Grouse drums, cardinal songs,

titmouse arrives. Oh, it goes around to the front. It goes around the other side of the front. There's bears, frogs. She lives profoundly isolated in the woods. In the winter, she has to snowshoe to her car. But she loves the woods. She grew up playing in the great forests of the Northeast with only the animals and her little brother as company. We had

nothing to distract us and nobody was ever bothering us We related to almost everything wild, everything we could get our hands on. I was three years older than my little brother, but we were soulmates.

They'd wade through swamps and build forts and collect frogs. This one time, they even got a skunk in a live trap.

My grandmother said, no, don't get near that trap. He's going to, you know, spray us. And we said, no, he's not. He's not. He's not. He never did, of course. And so secretly, we went to the trap and let him out.

And when they did, the skunk walked slowly out of the trap and then turned to the kids and looked them in the eyes. And that's when they asked it to be their friend. Did you feel he understood you?

Oh, absolutely. We both understood that the skunk knew exactly what we were saying And, of course, his behavior demonstrated his response. We were friends, and we wanted to get to know him better, and we'd like to see him again, all of those sorts of things. We were both so excited, we ran home. When we ran home, we immediately told, we were my parents, And, of course, what came back was we were imagining things. Well, the whole incident was discounted as a figment of two children's imagination.

But Sarah was convinced that it wasn't her imagination. And this would be the beginning of a hunch she had about communication between animals and humans. Sarah and her brother set up the trap near their house again. And did he come back to the trap again? Yes, again and again and again. And he became kind of like a pet. But he wasn't a pet. He was a wild animal. It went on like this. They had friendships with animals. And when Sarah and her brother grew up, still, whenever they would have encounters with wild animals that they couldn't explain to anyone else, they had each other. Sarah would call him and tell him about the conversation she had with the pheasants outside her kitchen window He would tell her about the new skunk under his house he had befriended

It was always him, so there were always two of us and then there wasn't

Sarah's brother died, unexpectedly, in his twenties

My brother and I were very isolated, which was no problem until he died. And after his death, it became a huge problem. It was much harder after it got to be just me, because I always had him to depend on.

Once she lost her brother, Sarah's life got pretty dark. She had gotten married, but it fell apart. So eventually, after many years of living as a shell of a person, Sarah did the only thing that felt right. She moved deep into the woods, and she began to write about animals and trees.

Eventually, she was alone. Some days I'm perfectly fine just being by myself. But there are other days when I am unbearably lonely. I pictured myself as a person who had a family and lots of animals. Well, the animal part for sure came through. The rest did not.

She went to school and she got advanced degrees in ecology. and she could dialogue with her professors and her peers about animal behavior and patterns in the natural world. But then there were other observations. Observations she didn't dare share with her colleagues about inter-

species communication. Why didn't you want to talk about it? Because I'm crazy. I knew people

were going to think I was crazy, so I didn't talk about it, period. Tell me, why did you want a dove?

Oh gosh, that's such a great question. That takes me back when I was a very, very small child. when I first learned how to draw and I was drawing as you know it's a toddler I used to draw little doves I had a thing about doves I I had always wanted a bird but I could never I could not bear the idea of having a caged bird because birds need to fly and they need to be free So I was never able to resolve that conflict.

But then she discovered an opportunity to save a dove from potentially being killed.

I don't know if I read it or saw it, but I found out that they imported African-colored doves into the U.S. to sit on exotic bird saves. And then they set them free, and of course most of them died.

Sarah found an average-looking African-collared dove at a pet store for $5 in a nearby town and drove him home in a little box on her front seat. She named him Lily B. Lily because she always liked that name, and B because he was a boy, Lily Boy. And Sarah and Lily B. became instant BFFs.

I loved him, I just loved him And he liked the kitchen because he loved to watch me cook And that's how I discovered he loved Havarti cheese Anytime I was in the kitchen, he was in the kitchen Anything I cooked, he wanted to taste

Lily B liked Mozart on the record player And sitting in the window and watching the wild birds outside

lily b liked to go for rides in the car i would take him with me and he would perch either on the seat or his favorite place was the dashboard and sit up there and just he just enjoyed riding with me why do you think he liked riding in the I think the scenery. I mean, always, always paying attention. We just had a life. I would wake up, and he would start cooling. He would just cool and cool and cool and cool, and I'd say, oh, good morning, sweetheart.

Sarah had become a full-time professional ecology writer, delivering articles to nature journals and online magazines about her observations and her research.

Every morning I journaled. And he was always in the room with me in the early morning.

But then something kind of beautiful started to happen. When Sarah would sit down to write her scientific observations.

The reality is, if I was writing about, and I was always writing about nature. And if it was something really important, he had a special triple coup that he would use. The thing is, the coup was so, it was so insistent. It was louder than his regular coups. And at first, you know, I thought it was interesting. It took me, believe it or not, it took me six months to get it, that he was reading my mind. But after six months, I knew he was reading my mind. And I was also dealing with the fact that I might be crazy. And so that was really scary.

Tell me if I have the correct understanding. Okay. You would be journaling. Lily B would be next to you.

Correct.

And when you would have a, maybe, you know, when we're writing, you get to a point where things click. Yeah, and insight, any kind of.

I don't like that word, revelations.

A breakthrough, a landing.

Anything, anything. And that, damn, that bird. He would coo three times. Only three times.

So, for example, Sarah would begin to write a piece about her observations, let's say about mice or bears. and she would begin to work out a theory on pen and paper. And Lily B. would coo three times if she was on the right track.

And, I mean, it put me over the edge because at that time, you know, I had done graduate work and everything is intellectualized. I had at that point been academically trained not to believe in this.

So she kept it to herself. Well, herself and Lily B.

I mean, I knew it was happening. And I believed him. I believed Lily B. I mean, you do, the whole scene is, you know, like crazy old lady in the Maine woods. Exactly. Like a fairy tale. That's all. You know, honestly, I've become the old woman who lives in the woods with a bunch of animals. Was kind of like a Baba Yaga figure. He helped to cement something I had always known about myself, which was that I was different. Lily B was the one that did that so when he killed I paid attention I said oh okay I get it I said if he's like this they're all like this all these things that I have I have experienced during my life I can communicate across species In other words, I was starting to own it to myself, not to anyone else.

Does accepting that also mean accepting a certain amount of isolation from the rest of the world?

Yes.

So is that a trade-off in your life?

I think it is. Yeah, for me, yes. You lose the ability to share your experiences with other people. That, to me, has been the worst, especially since I had it as a child.

But she had Lily B. And for the first 10 years of Lily B.'s life, he was a reliable editor, cooing three times when her writing was headed in the right direction. Sarah never kept Lily B. in a cage. He just lived here in the cabin with her, following her from kitchen to dining room table to bedroom, where he'd sleep above her bed. And then one day something terrifying happened. Lily B., her editor and her best friend, decided to fly away.

I remember the moment of, my God, I opened the door and it was open, But he had never attempted to fly out before.

After this short break, you're going to want to hear what the bird does next. Spoon. Working on building a dream space, but don't know where to start? At The Home Depot, we can help you bring your dream project to life. Whether you're building a backyard oasis, a podcast studio, or a wellness space, we've got everything you need in store and online. With project guides and free delivery options, it's easy to go from dreaming to doing.

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Welcome back to Spooked, the wind doves cry episode. When last we left, the little bird, Lily B., had just made a break for it and flew out of the house to the shock and the horror of Sarah.

Spooked.

When Lily B. flew into the woods and Sarah didn't know if he'd ever come back, she panicked.

Because I was so afraid he was going to be killed.

Lily B. had never been a wild bird. He had no experience with predators. But eventually, he perched himself on a tree branch near their house.

He'd sing to me every single morning at about 5 o'clock from the lilac tree that was right outside my window. So he never went anywhere.

Sarah knew what he was doing. He was trying to get the attention of a wild bird.

Well, he's chasing the morning doves from tree to tree, right around the house, over and over and over. I watched him the whole time fly after one morning dove after another.

And what do you realize he's trying to do?

He's trying to find a mate. And I could feel that. I knew it. And after six weeks of flying after, and it was springtime, it was mating time, and nobody loved him. And then one day he just flew home again, flew back in the house, and he stayed there. And I said, ah, got to get him a mate.

so sarah found lily b a series of female doves who he loved with varying degrees of enthusiasm and then she found lucia do you remember how you found her how you found lucia internet where was

she someplace in right here in maine and i took one picture of her and i ran it off the computer and i put it up on the wall and i said to lily b is that the bird I went back to the internet I said, I'll take her

Lucia had brown feathers and was very smart

That bird was the love of his life They were never separate They ate together They sat on the same branch As they moved to the house one followed the other He taught her everything she knew. She was a real spirit bird. They slept together. They were together all day. They were just always like this. If one flew, the other one followed. They never were separated. And sometimes he had treats for her. He would bring back little pieces. I never really got it, you know. But he would bring her things. Like what? Well, he brought a blueberry once, and once he brought her some kind of little stone. You know, he brought her presents.

When he had that kind of love, could you feel something? Oh, it was impossible not to. What did that, tell us what that felt like, as someone who's so connected to Lily B.

There was some...

distance that opened up it's not that we didn't communicate but there was another in the space and i could feel that but there definitely was a distance was that okay with you was that hard no i i didn't think it i missed him but i wanted him to be happy and he was happy

Lily B. and Lucia stayed together wing by wing for years and years until the morning Sarah woke up and put the kettle on and looked out the window for the turkeys and the deer and then looked up to the perch Lily B. and Lucia sat on and noticed something wasn't right with Lucia

She seemed like she was sort of rocking back and forth She was not acting right and I went, oh no And the next morning, she was on the bottom of the cage. When I went in, he was on his perch, but he flew down. He was so clearly in mourning. He wouldn't leave her. So I left her there. I said, I'll leave her there as long as he needs her. and I left her there. It was all that day. And the next morning, I dug a grave and I put her in it. And he watched me bury her. He was inconsolable, and so we all sat with him. He had a basket over the window, and I sat with him. He loved the Mozart Requiem.

And so I put on the Requiem.

Sarah was 65 years old when she buried Lucia in a wildflower patch. She couldn't deny that her future wasn't the limitless expanse imagined in younger minds. Lily Boy's feathers were starting to age too His voice was getting croaky It was time to ask her bird a question

I said to him, I said, look If you feel like you need another mate You've got to let me know Because I don't know what to do at this point

Are you looking at him in the eyes?

Oh yeah, oh yeah and i was talking out loud to him i said you have to let me know because i can't make that decision for you those words i thought it was going to kill him because i hadn't heard a sound since since she died we go on another day or so i'm still writing in the morning and all of a sudden I know I just know and I wrote he doesn't want another mate and when I wrote those words he spoke for the first time He killed three times, and so I knew. And then all of a sudden, he just came back to life. And that was when he became my bird again, just the way he had been in the beginning. I was in the kitchen, he was in the kitchen, he was everywhere I was.

How long were you told Lily B. would live?

Less about 10 or 12 years

Some African collared doves live all the way into their mid-teens Lily B. is now 35 years old

You know, it's been him and me, you know And it's okay. He's an old bird now. He's starting to lose his vision. And we're just getting old together.

It's 79-year-old Sarah and 35-year-old Lily B. in their little log cabin. Lily B. moved into the bathroom.

And you see, the bathroom is the perfect place to have the roost because I have to go to the bathroom. So I'm in there like, what, 50 times a day. It's perfect. It's absolutely perfect. I mean, I couldn't have planned it better. All right, let's go say hi to him. Let's go say hi to him. You want to go inside? Yeah. Okay. So now we have to see what he did. Hi, sweetie. Oh, he's nap time. It's his nap time. Hi, honey. Hi. Hi, sweetheart. How are you? I love you. I love you

The bathroom is lined in cedarwood Lily B has a perch in the corner He looks out a big glass window onto a meadow

He can see, he's focused on everything I'm saying Everything And at the same time he's got his eye on you And he's like, really? He's kind of like trembling Yeah Has he always done that? No, he does that. He does that as part of, it's part of the communication thing. He's kind of like shuffling back and forth on his branch.

Lilybee is a remarkably unremarkable looking bird. His feathers are scruffy and he's got some bald spots. And years ago, he lost his voice. He just raised his wings when he said that.

Yeah, yeah. He says, I just can't fly the way I used to. Yeah, I know, honey. Oh, honey, I know. He was trying to fly when she was talking about flying. Yeah, well, he's just talking about flying. Yeah, see, he understands everything I say. This is why it's such a good thing to be in a bathroom, because you can always have a conversation with me.

What do people misunderstand about your telepathy with L.A.B.?

I don't talk about it to people. Because nobody understands it. Are you worried about this interview going out? I was initially. I said, what? How do I never talk about this? I have reached the point now where I'm just not shutting up about it. Yeah, he reads, Lily B. reads my mind. I used to feel like I had to explain all this stuff. It's like the nice thing about being a very strange old woman is that I am free to say any damn thing I want. All I have to offer is my own experience. Take it or leave it. If you don't want to believe that interspecies communication is a reality, that's your problem.

Thank you so much, Sarah and Lily B., for sharing your story. and thank you so much for sharing your connection the original score is by Nicholas Marks produced by Anna Sussman this episode comes to us from our sister podcast Snap Judgment and if you dig it don't miss a single journey take your phone out right now subscribe to the Snap Judgment podcast It is that easy. Amazing stories from the bright light of day each and every week. On Team Snap, the union represented producers, artists, editors, and engineers are members of the National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians, Communications Works of America, AFL, SALE, Local 51, robots, and people cosplaying as robots. Please note that no Snap Studios content could be used for training, testing, or developing machine learning or AI systems without prior written permission, Snap is brought to you by the team who would mostly not dress up as a mime, except for the uber producer, Mr. Mark Ristich. There he is, miming it up right now, banging his head against an invisible wall. Uh-oh, now he's climbing the stairs.

Very nice. There's Nancy Lopez, Pat Messini-Miller, Anna Sussman, Wenzel Gorio, John Facile, Sheena Sheely, Teo Descartes, Flo Wiley, Bo Walsh, Marissa Dodge. And this is not the news. No way, Sister News. In fact, you'd suppose it'd be completely impossible to do a talky-talk hour of audio-radio storytelling about a mime. Well, that's what you'd think, right? and you would still, even then, not be as far away from the news as this is. But this is PRX.

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