Muse

Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here. Welcome back to Story Pirates Summer. It's time for a Summer Story Challenge leaderboard update. We have a stunner this week with Ethan in Washington, coming out of nowhere and jumping into first place with good old Tabitha in Arizona dropping to second. In third, we have Gus in Canada, Brooklyn in Pennsylvania is in fourth, and fifth place is a tie between Acadia in Massachusetts and Kurt in Pennsylvania. In places six through ten, we've got Maya from Colorado, Rafi in Rhode Island, Nora in Massachusetts, Adrian in Georgia, Evie in Canada, Ziva in Arizona, Al Sandro in Spain, Alia in California, and Emery in Indiana. And woo! You guys are doing some incredible work! On the group leaderboard, we of course have Zev and Rubin in first, Anthea, Richard and Elliot in second, and in third place, Zach, Ben, Vivian, Violet. They're riding their hearts out, followed by Robin and Jude in Connecticut, Sawyer, Brady, and Landon in New Jersey, Georges and Arthur in Canada, Arabella and Emmett in the Philippines, and Adia and Mason in Oregon. My friends, this is still anyone's game. Fire up your imaginations, and who knows, maybe next week you'll be on the leaderboard. You can see the leaderboard right now at storypirates.com slash leaderboard. Remember that even if you don't make the leaderboard, everyone who participates gets a certificate at the end of the summer, and StoryLove telling you about how much we loved your stories. We want to read as many stories as we can. We'll be updating the leaderboard every week And I'll be shouting out more kids here on the podcast Grownups, you can find links to the leaderboard And find out how to get your kids involved In the Summer Story Challenge In the show notes for today's episode Okay, on to today's new episode After a few more words for the grownups

It just filled me up with joy. My mom loves the jokes. Yo, yo, my jokes. It made me very proud about my sighting. Yeah, we're just getting like really deep into like, I want to say philosophy. I definitely think I can be more creative now. I'm the champion! The Story Pirates.

It's the Story Pirates podcast. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you combined helicopters and corgis? Does that say corgis? Like, corgis the little dogs? And helicopters. Yeah, me neither. But today's new author has. Here they are to introduce their story.

Hi, my name is Silas. I'm 10 years old, and I live in North Carolina. This is my story called Helicorgies.

Yes, a little dash of this, plug that in there, turn these little knobs, and... Science! Darn! Another failure! Why can't science just be easy?

Sweetheart, is everything all right? I heard the sound of science failing

Ah, yes, Meredith, my lovely wife Just another failed experiment

Oh, darling, I know you've struggled to find your feet Ever since you left a bustling career in finance To become a mad scientist

I thought if I became a mad scientist I would feel more fulfilled I just never thought it would be this hard I'm sure you'll figure it out

Look at all the great science stuff you have in your lab. You've got beakers, microscopes, and helicopter blades?

That was for my helicopter that spread good sense. You know, the smell-a-copter. Right. But it was another failure.

Well, darling, I'm off to work as a rocket scientist who also plays guitar in a hit band. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

I love you, Meredith.

I love you, Dr. Apple Pencil Pie. Oh, and don't forget to walk scraggles. Yep.

All right, Apple Pencil Pie. We have to get down to business and do some real mad science. Ah, yes, Scraggles, my faithful corgi. What do you want? You want a treat? Scraggles, I don't understand you. It's impossible for me to know what you want unless you can talk. That's it. I'll create talking corgis. Okay.

scraggles. I'll just need a little of your DNA. Sit. Now lay down. Now give DNA. Wonderful. I'll place that DNA carefully on this table right next to my helicopter blades. But how do I get from there to having a talking corgi? Think, apple pencil pie. Think. Ah, maybe I'll think of something if I do my brainstorming exercise where I wave my arms wildly in the air. Here I go. Oh no! I've knocked the corgi DNA onto the helicopter blades. Wait, what's happening? Scraggles, look! The helicopter blades grew a corgi underneath. It's become a... a... heli-corgi! Corgi is flying around the room! Get down, Scraggles! The heli-corgi is out of control! it's knocking over my failed old inventions not my reverse bath the bath that makes you dirty my reverse watch the watch that makes you late ah my reverse eraser it's a pencil bad hella corgi bad oh i'm sorry hella corgi why you just got created a few moments ago and you're a dog with with helicopter blades you don't know how to control. You're not a monster. Why, you're a sweet dog. What do you think, Scraggles? Yep, yep. You're right. I should sell all my lab equipment except the cloning machine to make hella corgis as my full-time job. Here I go. All right. I've sold everything except my cloning machine and with that money, I've bought all the supplies to make hella corgis. Now, I just need a hair from Scraggles. Good dog, Scraggles. And a sliver of metal from the helicopter blade. I just put this in my cloning machine and set the knob to one. You're right, Scraggles. I'll need a few more. I'll set it to two. Probably still not enough. I'll set it to one trillion. Here we go.

Uh, what's going on in here? I'm upstairs with the diplomats negotiating world peace and the whole house is shaking.

Well, you know how I sold everything we have in order to go all in on my Helicorgi's cloning machine? No. Oh, right. I forgot to tell you.

Ah, it's working! Are those Helicorgi's?

There's so many! It's mine everywhere! Helicorgies, please! I have treats! Ooh, okay. One at a time.

Darling, you know I love you. But I think one trillion Helicorgies is simply too many Helicorgies to take care of. Also, how is this a job?

Don't worry, Meredith. I know just what to do. I'll sell the Helicorgies. I just need to make an ad. hello there i'm dr apple pencil pie with an exciting offer are you hungry and need fast food delivered to your door do you need transportation and weigh under 65 pounds or maybe you just want help making friends why not buy a hella corgi a hella corgi combines all the sweet enduring love of a loyal dog with the rock and roll hard steel of a black hawk helicopter There goes one now, off to save the day Don't believe me? Just listen to this satisfied customer

I thought I did not need a Helicorgi now I have two and it's good

See what I mean? Just call 555-555-555-555 And get your Helicorgi today

Sweetheart, you've been sitting by the phone for days And no one's called Maybe it's time to move on.

I really thought people would want to buy hella corgis. I guess it's just another failed invention from your failure of a husband. Ah, my sweet scraggles. Thanks for being there for me in my lowest moment. All right, that's enough of that.

I won't have you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Sometimes we fail in life, but the only way to never fail is to never try.

But you've never failed at anything.

Well, I'm incredibly special and cool. I love you because of who you are, failures and all. You created Helicorgies, and whether or not people want them, I'm proud of you. Really? Of course. It may just be time to move on. But maybe if I just make a few more Helicorgies.

A ding-dong? Who could that be? Hello? Howdy, I'm...

Weirdo Wendell. Oh, wow. From Weirdo Wendell's car dealership? I've seen your ads. Our prices

are so low, the owner must be... A weirdo! That's right. I heard you had a whole mess of small dogs that fly around with helicopter blades. I do! I need something to spread my advertising flyers all throughout the tri-state area, and I think a helicorgi is just the thing. Well, how many do you need one well actually two you know what just to be safe make it three what about a trillion

sold go hella corgis go to your new owner they're picking me up and flying me away wow meredith we sold all the hella corgis did he give you money i did it i changed the world How does this change? The end.

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown-ups. Hey, grown-ups. Today's episode is sponsored by Ollie. Back to school season is here. Packed backpacks, packed lunches, and packed schedules are officially back. Luckily, this episode is sponsored by Ollie, your back to school wellness partner. It feels like summer just started, but I guess that's how it goes. The kids that I know are excited about starting a new school year, new teachers, new friends, new classrooms, maybe even a new school. So getting plenty of rest is really important. And I know some kids that use Story Pirates podcast to fall asleep, but if that's not quite working for you, Ollie Kids Sleep helps little dreamers wind down with a gentle blend of melatonin, L-theanine, and botanicals for restful sleep. Translation, an easy way to put those school night negotiations to bed. And for the grownups, Ollie's sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed. Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early. Visit Ollie.com and stock up on back-to-school must-haves today. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. this product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Welcome back to Story Love, where we take stories written by kids and we talk about them. Peter, did you know that at Story Pirates, we get a lot of stories? Um, I didn't know that. Just kidding, I did. Well, and you might know that this summer, we've got the Summer Story Challenge going on, where we're challenging kids to send us as many stories as they can. And they can even show up on the leaderboard, get a pizza party with yours truly, etc., etc. I would do a lot of things for a pizza. Let's get into our first story. This one is from Zoe Rose, a nine-year-old from Mississippi. and Zoe Rose's story is called The Food-iverse. Ahem. Once upon a time, there was a girl who was only 12 years old. The reason I chose 12 is because she's a kid, but she's also old enough to travel the universe and her name was Sophia. Sophia loved traveling the universe. One day when she was traveling, she saw a universe she'd never seen or heard before. When she entered, she saw a warning sign that said, warning, you are what you eat. Sophia decided to test this there by trying one of its many foods. She started by trying a yummy carrot. It took about 10 minutes, so at first Sophia thought, what a silly sign. But then she felt a change in her body. She slowly started to transform into a carrot. Soon, she had fully transformed into a carrot.

At first, she was like, what's happening? But soon she realized, you are what you eat. It turned out she only stayed that way for a couple of minutes. but it did inspire her to start a tour stop where anybody could become what they eat. It was a total success, and she decided she would name it Foodiverse. Whenever it got a five-star rating, it would magically add a new food, and it got a lot of five-star ratings. But instead of doing it like us, they would give each other real-life stars. The end, or is it? Now, Peter. Yes. That was an amazing story, and I want to hear your thoughts, But I have to point out, this was obviously submitted as part of our story contest for Good Mythical Morning, the prompt being write a story about you are what you eat. And what an amazing entry this is. There's so many rules of the world things that I think are so clever and funny and makes me want to know more. Starting at the end.

In this universe, you go, oh, I loved it. Five stars. Here's five gigantic burning balls of gas to say you're the best.

I also love in this story how she says the reason that she chose a 12-year-old protagonist is because then she could still be a kid, but also old enough to travel the universe. That's what I said.

You got to hit 12 before I let you leave this universe

and explore other ones. I think that's reasonable. At some point, that is going to be the case. I mean, space travel, let's be let's be frank, like we're still in our infancy, but there's a good chance that someone who's growing up today, space travel could be like very normal by the time they grow up.

Are you thinking, you know, like it's the cryogenic frozen version where they freeze you in, send you away, and then you wake up? Or straight up teleportation digitize you and send you at the speed of light?

If I'm thinking actually practically, I'm not imagining that we're into cryo or light speed travel yet. I'm really just talking about like going to Mars. Okay, that's a six-month journey. That's right. Pretty good. And you know what you can do with six months? You can listen to a lot of podcast episodes. Yeah, and learn to crochet.

That's what I would do.

Yeah, or unlearn how to crochet. Oh, that is enough time to forget how to crochet.

Yeah, you have to work hard at it, though, to forget how to crochet. Because you'll wake up in the morning and be like, all right, let me grab my crochet. No! Oh, don't! Yes, exactly. Now, the entire universe, this whole foodiverse, people are you are what you eat and how does she you know man how does she stop people from sneaking into the universe and just using the power oh it's a good question let me look back

at the text and see exactly so she started a tour stop where anybody could become what they eat so what that means to me is that she's running like intergalactic space tours yes and she creates like a, like a, like a rest stop, you know, by the universe. So like, she's not stopping anyone from going and doing their own thing in the foodiverse, but she is creating like a tourist, tourist friendly, you know, stop where people can come in, get, go to the welcome center, have a free cup of coffee, get some brochures and then, you know, spend some cash.

You know, if I was going to turn in some food, I would like a little guidance because it would

make me nervous absolutely i mean you want to know what to avoid right like there's got to be foods that if you're going to turn into them it's a bad idea i just had a scary thought what if i

i eat some potato chips and i turn into potato chips and i go that's this is cool but i want

to turn back into a human what would i have to do you just wait it says in the story it turned out she only stayed like that for a couple minutes like i forgot forgot that detail yeah so there There might be, like, a different time span depending on the food, you know? Like, maybe you metabolize it differently.

Interesting.

Depending on what the food... Another reason why you need a guide and why this tour stop is a great idea. I clearly need a guide because I forgot all the details. Well, Zoe Rose, thank you for being our guide to the foodiverse. Incredible story. Peter, would you read us our next one?

Yes. Lee, this next story comes to us from a nine-year-old from Canada named Lucas. Lucas' story is called The never-ending milk carton Ah, what a good day for me Tommy the beaver The only thing that would make this day better Is milk and cookies Better go to the fridge What? No milk?

No!

Why has this curse come upon me? Why, Hera? Why?

Hera is the official god of the cows I will just go to the store At the store Hmm, where is the milk section? Oh, there it is Just going to grab it now All I need is to get cookies now Where is the cookie section? Uh, there it is All I need is to go home 20 minutes later Ah, here I am at my house Just going to pour this milk into this cup Oh, shoot, I dropped it What? It is still pouring? Still? The milk is up to my knees What does this milk say on the front? Infinity milk? Would I really should pay attention to the labels on the milk I buy? No, it is up to my waist Now I better go warn everyone Here, I am outside Better tell the police I will call their number on the rotary phone Let's just file the number Five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, nine.

Hello, this is the police. How can I help? Hi, I bought a milk carton that said infinity on it. And now half of my house is filled with milk. Now my backyard is filled with milk. My whole town is filled with milk. And now all of Canada is filled with milk. I should really check the label on that milk. The end.

There is so much going on in this story I have to first talk about Hera The god of the cows Hera, if I remember correctly Is the wife of Zeus, is that correct? Yes, she is the goddess of many things

That I don't recall in this moment

Is cows one of the things that she's actually a god of? I would be surprised if she was specifically

But she might be the god of, you know Life

This sounds to me The god of life This sounds to me like the sort of thing you would pretend to know for sure though, Peter Well, I started to And I tried to admit

That I don't really know

Okay, well, I love that that detail Is just kind of shoehorned right in there And then we never really come back to it However, I think That Hera Has cursed Tommy the Beaver Because that's what these gods are doing, right? Like, they are vindictive. They are always coming down and being like, no, you can't go home, Odysseus, or whatever.

Yeah.

So...

They're just bored and they toy with us.

That's right. That's right.

Yeah, but although maybe, is Tommy the Beaver overreacting a little bit when there's no milk and cookies? And he says, no! With maybe 50 O's. Yeah, that's a lot of O's. Why hast thou cursed come upon me? Why, Hera, why? Right, exactly. Hera's like, you woke me up for this? Oh, and then she goes, oh, I'll give you milk, all right. More milk than you know what to do with.

I love that. And then finally, there's a detail at the end where we learn that this is all taking place in Canada, which was a surprise to me until I remembered the Story Pirates story, how the beaver, is it how the beaver went to Canada? How the beaver came to Canada. How the beaver came to Canada. So it's Story of Rights lore already that beavers in Canada are, you know, one and the same. I have a much simpler explanation for that. Yeah. You do?

Yeah, Lucas lives in Canada.

Oh. You mean the world isn't just wherever I am? Well, it is.

Everyone, don't tell Lee it's not. It's better for everyone if he keeps thinking that.

Is it better for everyone? You heard that? Oh, yeah. Lucas, incredible story, my friend. Great work. Okay, we got one more here for you, Peter. This one is from two kids in Pennsylvania named Juliana and Benjamin, and this is the alien rattlesnakes. Hello, folks. My name is Sarah Smiley, and this is Simpson Gimson. And we are reporting about rattlesnakes on Snake News. Rattlesnakes are named rattlesnakes because they make a rattling sound when they hiss. If you go close to a rattlesnake, it might bite you. That's all for today on Snake News. Wow, that was a short report. You're right, Dad. That was a short report. It's time for bed. Anyways, good night, son. Maybe we can watch the next Snake News report in the morning. Hello again, folks. Today, we are reporting a UFOs that we saw fall from the sky. We are examining and seems to be seeing weird-looking creatures that look like a rattlesnake, but have one eye and two antennas, and instead of hissing, it's talking. It's an alien rat snake! Run! That's all for today on Snake News. We need to help, son. You're right, Dad. Let's go. We made it. What's going on? Well, the alien's rattlesnake told me and Simpson that he just wanted to say that he loves Snake News and watches it every day and wanted to see us report the news and he just wanted to say hi. Oh, well, you might want to tell people that watch the news that it's a good idea. The end.

I love this, Lee. I love it at the very end. The dad and son are who bond over watching Snake News. um at the end an alien uh rattlesnake that's all for so the reporters say it's an alien rattlesnake that's all for snaker news and they end their segment in the middle of the most exciting thing that's ever happened in snake news and what they didn't report and they didn't show is that they then go oh hey nice to meet you oh you're friendly and they let everyone panic because they stopped the

news report right in the scary part oh yeah they didn't find out the truth until afterwards yeah and this dad and son show up and they're like oh no it's cool and i was like why didn't you put

that part on the news well i'll tell you why because it's a short report right like they don't have these correspondents sarah smiley and simpson gimson they don't have the ability to just extend

the segment because they want to oh so you so you're saying rattlesnake news is not its own show It's like the local news at the end of each broadcast, you give like 30 seconds to Snake News.

It's called a report. They say, wow, that was a short report. It's just a little check-in on Snake News. I can only assume, because I believe in Sarah Smiley and Simpson Gibson, that the next episode is going to be about what they learned

about the rattlesnake. When I first read this, I took it as, welcome to Snake News. Like, it's its own channel. it's its own full show and they go today on snake news rattlesnakes watch out that might bite you oh boy this is a short one today all right well now here's 40 minutes of dead air

that might also be true they might only have budget for a short show even though they own the network it's just there's not always a full day's worth of snake news you know what else is interesting even though it's a typo that it says it's an alien rat snake Do you know there are snakes called rat snakes, Peter? No. I look at lots of pictures of snakes because for me, looking at a picture of a snake is like drinking a cup of coffee. I just love the feeling it gives me. It gives me like a rush. I look at them and, you know. Do you like wake up and you're like, all right, let me wake up and look at a picture of a snake. Yes, exactly. And then I'm just raring to go for the day. But, you know, as a result, I know a lot about snakes and I know there are lots of different kinds of rat snakes. they're incredibly common and they're called they seem to be like sort of like the go-to generic name for snakes they're like here's the here's the North American rat snake here's the Southwest rat snake like they're all just rat snakes

I think it's funny when there's a lot of animals that are named after other animals you're like oh that's a dogfish we're like well it's like another animal that'd be sort of sad to be like oh that you know that's a zebra clam

but you know what The dogfish isn't called a dogfish because it eats dogs, whereas the rat snake is called the rat snake because it does eat rodents.

Okay, I was wondering where you were going with that. I was like, do you know that a dogfish is not called a dogfish because it eats dogs? No, I did not think that at all.

Well, we've learned a lot. You know, this was almost as informative as an episode of Snake News. Oh, it's true. Maybe that'll be my summer job. Although, why would it be yours and not mine? because I'm the one that knows about snakes.

I'm calling them first! Thank you!

Oh, well, I guess that's it for today. Benjamin and Juliana, thank you so much for your incredible story. And thanks to everyone who's sending us stories for the Story Pirates Summer Story Challenge. There is still time to get on the leaderboard and to read today's stories. Just head to storypirates.com. Lee, I'm back. They are not hiring. Oh, man. That's it for today's episode. thanks to Silas and don't forget to check out the Summer Story Challenge leaderboard at storypirates.com slash leaderboard and check back every week to see how everyone's doing most of all turn on those imaginations and start writing some stories because being creative is its own reward creator club members we'll see you next Monday for an exclusive bonus episode and everyone else we'll be back next week with another one as well until then stay creative and stay kind bye The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios. Executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. Co-executive producers are Holly and Rizwan Kasim, Man Ulyssi, Aaron Moore, Murray Sampson, Jack Schaefer, and Jacob Vaughn. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Brittany Stahl, and Lee Overtree. Recording, sound design, and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring by Eric Erson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O'Neill and Alexis Simpson. Call Helicorgies was adapted by Sam Rogal. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. This episode features performances by Max Bank, Nicole Beckwith, Langston Darby, Peter McNerney, and Sam Rochow.

And now, it's time for an update on the leaderboard for Weirdest Snacks Eaten. In first place, of course, we have Peter with deep-fried olives. In second place, we also have Peter with old string cheese. In third place, we've got Peter with Pate. Okay. Not that weird, but. In fourth place, you know what? These are all just Peter. No one else can compete with him. You know what?

Everybody, I'm canceling the weirdest snacks eating contest. It's over. Peter wins.