Muse

Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks. Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on 3rd. There's Hammocks or Us, that's on 3rd too. You got Put Your Butt There, that's on 3rd. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex. It's the Hammock Complex down on 3rd. Oh, the Hammock District! TBTL!

Are you on the internet? Isn't that for techno geeks with spreadsheets?

You know, what happened next was, you know, they'd open their mouth, they'd speak, they'd get laughed at, they'd get called Polacks.

I'm not very good with chit chat. I like a structured communication. I like a hard out, you know, chit, chat, chit, chat, chit, chit, where are we going with that?

That was great. That was good. You went for it. I appreciate that.

Mike, if they do good, put it on YouTube. If they do bad, cancel it.

All right, hello. Good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL.

We are living in the midst of a podcast boom. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. They're trying to say I was drunk. I drank eight beers yesterday. That was all I drank.

Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, oh, where it is so rainy right now. The Weather Service put out a tweet talking about a 2,000-mile-long river of water that is just sitting out over the Pacific and making its way onto land and into this part of the world made for great jogging conditions this morning. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. I, no hyperbole, I came very close to being blown off of the Hawthorne Bridge by the wind and the sideways rain. I had real thoughts as to if, like I looked over the edge down into the Willamette River and did the calculation, would this be survivable? Would this drop be something that might kill me? I decided it would be survivable, which calmed me down a little bit. Anyway, speaking of terrifying moments, though, then I get home, you know, I live alone, and I come into the apartment, and I'm taking off my very, very wet jogging shoes. And out of the corner of my eye, something comes around the corner.

Oh, my God!

I was like, am I interrupting a robbery? Did an unhinged listener figure out not only the building I live in, but literally the apartment? No, it was Randy. I forgot that I had the Roomba running on a delay today. And he came around the corner, and it really scared the living shit out of me. If I'm a little jumpy this episode, that's probably why. By the way, this is episode 3,335 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We have so much to talk about on this Tuesday, including a big moment for all the Jeopardy heads out there. Of course, Friday was the last new Alex Trebek episode that aired. Never let me slip, because if I slip, then I'm slipping. Meaning last night was the first night when our friend, Ken Jennings, was serving as the interim host of the program. I watched the episode. I will tell you my thoughts on it and how our friend Ken did coming up. Also, it turns out the Earth is spinning faster than normal right now, which has the effect of shortening our days. There have been a number of days in this past year that have not actually been 24 hours. They've been like 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds. Time is a flat circle. So now there is some discussion around adding what is being called a negative leap second to the clock so that everything will line up. So we will talk about that. Oh, and also, a number of people who own Bitcoin, Bitcoins, have forgotten their passwords. And this is not the kind of thing where you just click on a link and they send you a new password. There is a guy who has $220 million worth of Bitcoin. He doesn't remember the password. He gets 10 tries at the password before it is...

permanently encrypted and unreachable by anyone. And he's tried eight times and gotten it wrong. So we'll get into that too as well. We'll get into all that with this guy, the longest running cobro of the show, known for his drawings of tall ships. I'm flying in hot for that hottie. He's got more questions than answers here on a Tuesday. Does the luck of the Irish mean good luck or bad luck? He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Hey, Luke. I'm kind of going through something here. I don't think it should affect the listeners too much, but it's a sad – it's kind of a sad day for old Uncle Andy. If we can just call me Uncle Andy. It's not a huge deal, but I've mentioned to you on this show before that I sort of secretly do something during the show to help hone my concentration, if you believe that, which is there's this very basic computer game that you just play online. It's a Flash-based game called Hex Empire. It's like a very kind of simplified version of Risk. And for the past at least five years, every time I have talked to you on this show, I have been silently in the background just clicking away at that like a doodle, just like Canada doesn't use much of my brain, but it keeps me focused. It keeps me from reading emails. It's just, it's like just, again, it's my digital equivalent of doodling during a meeting, which is one way that I kind of have always paid more attention.

It's like a less addictive tiny dose of Adderall for you.

Yeah, I think so. And again, I've been playing it forever.

It is weird that you crush the game up into little lines and snort it. How do you do it? That's the part of it that surprised me. But anyway, what happened? Did they discontinue your game?

No, I mean, what they did is they discontinued Flash, and this has been something that's been going on for a long time, and you're going to ask me follow-up questions, and I don't fully understand it. No, Flash is fine. That Flash is fine. Do not scare these listeners, my friend.

Honestly, they're only listening to the show in the hopes that you and I someday retire and turn the show back over to Jen Flash Andrews.

I know. Why has she not started a podcast and just buried us? Like, that is a question I'll never understand, but—

Well, let's not give her any idea.

Yeah, right. But anyway, there's like, and you've seen it before, and I don't understand fully how it works, but there's something called Adobe Flash that back in the day a lot of websites were based on it, and you'd heard of Flash animation. I think it wasn't even Flash animation the original thing that, like, Homestar Runner and stuff was based on. Could be wrong about that. A lot of people in our audience know a lot more about this than I do. All I know is for a long time, for years now, they've been saying that Flash is like a security concern. It's like a weak link in the internet. and um for the past year uh uh chrome i guess google chrome has been saying listen flash is going away at the end of 2020 so any flash is that why i've been getting a million like intrusive

updates from adobe itself maybe like every time i turn on my computer i get that like adobe needs to update and i was told at one time that that's a very easy way for bad actors to get to your computer because flash is always trying to update itself and they've written some fake programs and so that made me afraid to ever update flash i wonder if this is all somehow a little bit

related anyway well at this point do not update flash if anything if your computer says it's time to uninstall flash or something along those lines that's fine but flash anyway they said that all all flash based stuff was going to go away at the end of 2020 that was like december 2020 well i don't know if you looked at your calendar recently but we are now 12 days into january of 2021 and as of uh last evening i was clicking away at hex empire and it did not occur i just thought oh well we're through the worst of it whatever was going on this stuff still works and this morning i was listening to some voicemails on the tbtl voicemail line and i needed a little distraction while i did it opened up hex empire the site i usually go to called newgrounds.com no longer supports it I go to some other Hex Empire sites none of them supported they said you can download this offline player that doesn't seem to be working my computer so I mean I was sort of emotionally prepared for this and then I thought oh no everything is going to be fine and now I wasn't emotionally prepared when one day just randomly on a Tuesday morning it wasn't there for me and I'm feeling I mean you were joking about the Adderall a little bit but I am feeling a little like i well what is my thing i need my i need my thing luke well i bet you there's another

thing that's out there free cell and i bet you i what's that free cell probably is that probably what you're going to use yeah there's you know we we all at some point we have to grow and we have to stretch ourselves i mean listen you've been on a helicopter recently andrew i think 2021 is a chance for you to really reinvent yourself and to

you know push your own sort of personal boundaries and limits and maybe switching over to a different mindless game and I don't say that to be critical I just mean like exactly described another little thing for your brain to do while we're chatting you're just going to have to find something else and it's going to be scary at first but then it'll become your new thing and then it'll be very regular to you after a week or two

well the thing is though you should be concerned about this because the beauty of Hex Empire was like it had just worn a rut into my brain you know it took zero thought whatsoever I just I would be doing i'd find myself playing it and i wouldn't even remember opening it right like right you don't want me looking for something else during the show like that's bad you know that's bad for you that's bad for everybody involved so i really need to like kind of think about what if you start

playing what is it cyberpunk 2077 whatever that that's pretty good gigantically titanically unsuccessful game voiced by keanu reeves what if you start getting into that i heard one of the

worst promos on national public radio maybe a month ago as i i wasn't following that game i guess that was a much well we i think we talked about on the show or you sent me a link and we meant to talk about it on the show yeah i didn't more likely door number two i didn't realize that that was a game that had been anticipated for years and that people were so excited about it i didn't really know what was going on all i know is one day i turned on i think it was all things considered although it might have been morning edition and in one of their billboard promos, you know, how they'll promote something that's coming up and then play a little piece of tape from it. I don't know if you're familiar with that form of forward promoting, Luke. We're five minutes away from you just doing that at the top of this show. But they said... The difference is they actually get to the stories on National Public Radio. And they have listeners. That's also... Oh, yeah. So two differences. But, man, they played a clip of Keanu Reeves talking about what it's like to act in a video game. And I don't have it in front of me right now, so I can't dazzle you with the details. All I remember is thinking Like that was the worst promo I've ever heard in my life. Like I have zero interest in hearing and I have no problem with Keanu Reeves. He's like kind of a, they say he's a nice guy, right? Like he's a, he's on the right side of things. He absolutely is.

There are, I mean, yeah, I'm, I'm very pro Keanu Reeves as a person. There's all these great pictures of him when he takes a picture with fans, particularly if that fan is a woman, he very demonstrably does not put his hand on their body. Oh yeah. I think we've talked about that. which seems like a respectful move, and there's all kinds of great stories about him just being a good person. That being said, there's nothing about his film career, even up until and including maybe The Matrix. I think The Matrix are very fascinating films, but I think that they would be fascinating if you had cast Jon Hamm in the Neo role or whomever else. I don't think that Keanu Reeves makes those movies for me, and again, none of this is because I don't like Keanu Reeves. I just don't understand the enduring appeal of him as an actor.

Yeah. And then in hearing this little clip of tape that they pulled of him talking about acting in a video game and how it's more freeing because there are various scenarios or whatever it was, I was just like, oh, my God, that sounds terrible. Every now and then you hear a promo for a show that actually works against the interests of the show because you think I'm going to turn this off now because they're probably talking about the Seahawks on commercial radio. I do want to give a shout out to My Own Private Idaho. That is probably my favorite Keanu Reeves movie, but I have not seen it, you know, in 25 years or whatever. But it's a Gus Van Sant movie, so I remember liking that.

Right. Also with River Phoenix in it. Right. I knew it was another one of that ilk. I think that was – I don't know if – you know, there's an interesting story. We probably mentioned this on the show, but I guess Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, the original you know not not the the reboot they recently did but the original one i guess they had filmed it and then i can't remember if they filmed if keon reeves was in my own private idaho before or after that but basically bill and ted's excellent adventure was filmed and then i believe shelved by the studio huh they thought it was a terrible movie and there was i'm this would be a much more interesting story if i had the specifics at the ready which i don't but basically they had just decided that movie was a lost cause and then he did some other film and that film sort of went well was well received and then they went back and said well let's just re-release let's release

this bill and ted's thing and then it became a total phenomenon that's really interesting and you're right i i would have i would have bet a lot of money no i wouldn't really bet a lot of money but i would have guessed that uh bill and ted's excellent adventure would have come out well past my own Private Idaho, but no, I'm absolutely wrong about that. Bill & Ted was released in 1989, and Private Idaho was released in 1991. Does it say, are you on Keanu Reeves' IMDb page? No, I'm on the Bill & Ted page now, but I could probably, with a little bit of work, I could probably get to the Keanu Reeves

You know what, I'm just going to

to like create 43 things for the listeners to email in and correct me on so i might as well just cut my losses would it i'm sorry about your game andrew would it in any way though make it better if i played you a piece of tape that i found in my itunes called flash gets raw yeah please now i can just tell you because as you know as you and listeners we'd like to really go for the most interesting part of any particular topic piece of tape you name it i'm looking at this wave file andrew it is just a disaster it is completely it is totally cut off like it is like it's like somebody tried to do an edward scissorhands on a uh on a hedge and had no idea

what they were doing you're not talking about levels and amplitude here you're just talking about the heads and tails of this or how can i'm talking about the top i'm just saying that it's got like a flat top oh yeah okay yeah you are like the top of the wave file is just absolutely it's sheared off it's going to be potentially distorted or just really

it's going to sound really terrible my guess is this is something where Jen Flash Andrews maybe was saying something that was a little bit had some entendre to it which is definitely not typically the way that you know the kind of stuff we would do on TBTL that's not really Jen's style on air but it's called Flash Gets Raw hyphen one let's

hear what that is the unannounced lineup promises to knock your fucking wigs off wow whoa what was that so that's you know the way it's all compressed like that you'd think for sure that that was a cairo radio thing but i assume that

would it could not have been in that it has the f word in well you know wouldn't it be great if this was all an elaborate way for me to bring jen down in the minds of the listeners they will not so that they will not join her when there's an insurrection oh right sean and jen just show up Outside of my apartment building Just looking to take the show over But I've now Sorry to the children out there Who just heard the F word for the first time A kind of Old acquaintance of mine Melody Joy Kramer who used to work On Wait Wait and has worked on a bunch of other Public radio stuff She was tweeting I saw this because our colleague Kai Risdahl Had retweeted it but her I believe her son is named Kai And she wrote this series of tweets that basically they she showed up at like her kid's preschool and the teacher took her aside and said and I'm gonna uh well I won't I don't need to use the word people know what I mean when I say the f-word but the teacher took her aside and said you know your your kid Kai is just saying the f-word like all the time and she was sort of mortified because like this is the first she writes like this is the first sort of interaction with a teacher she's ever had related to her kid and she like called her husband I believe she even called her mom and was like what are we going to do about it and they were like you just got to really watch your language around the kid and then she had this moment of realizing something she like held up a toy truck and said what is this Kai and he said the F word and he was just that's how he was trying to say truck oh man

poor kid so it's just like kind of a speech thing it wasn't it was just he just thought

that was the word for truck right now like or maybe that was how he was pronouncing it but you imagine a world In which like this kid goes on a whole Other trajectory yeah this whole life Changes they put him in some kind of special program For defiant children Just swearing in the preschool And no it was just

Him trying to say truck I wonder what he thinks Truck means though that's filthy Very very well what we just That tape we just played from Jen

Hey Let's take a quick break but Then when we come back I've had Another it's I wouldn't even I don't even know if I could call it an interact action but i've had another contact point with the management of this apartment building andrew or at least the web portal and i want to update you on it now i actually think well i don't want to tell you how you're going to feel after you hear this but i think it's actually overall kind of a good story uh so we'll do that in a moment here on tbtl let's thank some donors of the day wonderful generous long-suffering supporters hey remember at the end of yesterday's show andrew how i just started randomly talking about fran lebowitz yeah but you're you're good for that once or twice a year yeah probably more um i watched uh the rest of that uh i think almost all but one episode of that uh show on netflix uh pretend it's a city it's so good um but i couldn't remember why i was talking about her and it was bedeviling me and then i remembered it yesterday it was because you and i were talking at the end of yesterday's show about how happy we were to be doing the show on the regular again and how we felt really lucky to have this as a job.

And what I was remembering was that Fran Lebowitz said that she loved writing until she got paid to do it, and then she started to hate writing, and she said she doesn't know any professional writers who like writing.

Hmm, that's interesting.

I believe she actually said she knows one professional writer who enjoys writing. She was like, every other writer I know who does it for their living pretty much hates writing. and I thought I can see that because as soon as something becomes a thing you do for your job it just it sort of it changes a little bit in your mind and yet I would say that I still love doing this like I really do like some of my job stuff does stress me out and I kind of dread it this thing this talking to you five days a week I love this if I could do this you know if I was independently wealthy and I could just do this for

fun i would maybe i do like three days a week but i i genuinely enjoy this begins i but we'll

have jen and sean do two days a week we'll look at the downloads we'll be like shit yeah why are the thursday and friday shows just like the tent exponentially more downloaded anyway this is a long and winding way for me to say thanks to the listeners who make this possible with their donations because i love getting to do this for my job listeners like dane royer of stevens point wisconsin i feel like we have at least two donors in stevens point wisconsin i can see that i mean we're big in the midwest we do that is a hot zip for us i think also uh margaret ainsley is in swarthmore pennsylvania is that where swarthmore college is as well that's yeah it's gotta be I've never heard of another Swarthmore What about Jerome Bergquist In Richfield, Minnesota Jerome, thank you for the support Sarah Burke Hey, you know Sarah Burke Seattle, Washington Didn't we kick it with Sarah in Port Townsend

Yeah, one of the One of the architens We have a bunch of architects who are listeners

A bunch of them are friends with each other Sarah, thanks for keeping things going here Scott and Roger Harbison are in Pahu, Hawaii. I want to go to there so bad right now. Although, who knows? It might be raining like this in Hawaii. It's a tropical rain. Is this happening in Seattle as well?

Right now, it's dried up, but it's been pretty wet since we got home. And I saw the headline in the Seattle Times today. I don't know how much the weather is different between our two cities. It's wet, though. But it says, yeah, like, there's a 2,000-mile river of rain that we're about halfway through today.

Yeah, there's something about them describing it as a river, even though it's in the sky. Yeah, I know. That was just so weird to me. I believe they call this, though, the Pineapple Express, right? Because it's relatively warm. Like, on my little jog today, it was balmy. It was just raining really hard and crazy windy. At one point, my little windbreaker, my hood was like caught by the wind like it was like a parachute that, you know, they put behind a funny car. And it was like my windbreakers are strangling me because of my parachute of a hood. That sounds awful. It wasn't great. It really wasn't great. But I got to this point where I was like, I knew that it was like, I just wanted to go back home. But I was like, if I go for five more minutes, then I'm then I'm basically then I'll just it'll be in. What I had to do is get myself to the halfway point where at that point it was like, well, I might as well just finish. Yeah. So it was like about 10 minutes into the run. I was like, this sucks. I don't want to do this. But I was like, if I run for five more minutes, then it'll just be a thing where I'll just have to finish it. So I tricked myself and it kind of worked. I don't know. I don't want to know what my time was running with a funny car parachute behind me. But anyway, I just want to say, Scott and Roger, thanks for the donation and also thanks for sending the river of water our way from the tropics. And then we got Gretchen Hayslip in Seattle, Washington. Gretchen, thank you so much for the donation. Hope you are staying dry. Thanks to all our donors of the day. We really could not do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. uh of course i have uh been complaining about the management company that runs this apartment building uh pretty much since i moved in and one of the things that one of the little like kind of low level battles i've been fighting with them is over the dishwasher which doesn't work and has never worked uh since i've lived here somebody told me i can't remember if this got mentioned on the show or not but you know this was the model this was like the model apartment and I I thought oh this seems pretty okay and so then I just asked the leasing person Can I just rent this one? And she said yes. But somebody pointed out that a lot of times the model units are kind of crappy because they've had, like, 100,000 people come through them and futz with everything.

I just don't like the thought of it. Even if it's, like, even, like, if everything is totally fine, like, I could see that if you thought about it too much, I could see that living in your head a bit.

It also has a very Bluth family. Yeah, right. The model home. The model home. also saddam hussein uh did build a number of apartments based on this floor plan um so the dishwasher has never worked and uh so i asked them if they could fix it and they i emailed them and they first of all said well it's a pandemic and so we can't send anyone into your apartment which made no sense to me because i thought i'll just make sure i'm not here and then like i just feel I don't want to be I don't want to be cavalier about things but it just like it'd be one thing if I was asking them to come to a rave and fix a dishwasher that would be putting the person in danger or putting me in danger that would be a bad idea this apartment sans me given a couple of hours to air out maybe I leave the window open doesn't seem like an unsafe place for a technician

to come and look at a dishwasher and also i mean and listen i have some i have some gall saying this after my whole experience with our you know bathroom being non-functional or partially functional for an entire week and um you know i didn't get any kind of restitution from or or money back or anything from our landlords in fact didn't even i think get an apology

marge simpson uh everyone just imagine marge simpson being displeased growl yeah um but you

know me sitting over here thinking about your situation it's like well are you paying less rent than somebody with a working dishwasher like okay it's pandemic can't fix it fine but there is a certain product and service that they are supposedly providing for a certain price everybody is getting the same thing for the same price if they're not providing you for months now what should be included in that price well then there should be you know some sort of compensation for

that right well they did eventually send the guy rider out to check it out yeah right he was totally nice and um and took a look at it and couldn't figure out what was wrong with it and so to me it was like well you've had somebody in here now they've looked at they can't fix it so how are we going to remedy this situation and so i emailed them and uh my boy thomas basically said well you should use the web portal you know he basically sort of i don't want to not passive aggressively but he sort of did one of those like well the really the way to handle this is to go to the web portal for the management company and to basically file some paperwork digitally about

like a work order i am so sick of tickets i don't know when we just decided that everything is i filled out a ticket or i you should fill out a ticket i don't know where these tickets suddenly came from right but i do not like the idea of filling out brazil yes i don't mean the country

i mean the film everybody watched the film brazil and decided that's just how we're going to run things now so i have been since that email interaction i have been low-key resentful at thomas for suggesting that i go to the web portal and set up a ticket and i just keep i will in my darker moments rehearse these emails where i email them go hey buddy how's your dishwasher because a lot of the people that manage this building live in this building uh-huh and i want to say like hey, can I come over and just quickly throw my dishes in your dishwasher? Because I bet yours works, dude. I just get these really snarky, mad feelings. Well, I decided yesterday, forget it. I'm just going to log into the web portal and see what's what. And I did log in, and it was one click. It's just a big thing that says maintenance request, and you just write a note that says, hey, here's what's broken. And then it immediately sends you a confirmation email. that says, okay, here is what you're saying is broken. We're going to get somebody on it. Here's how long this thing has, this ticket has been out. Like it's very easily tracked. It's got this little thing on the side that tells me what the progress is. Like it's apparently, now we'll see, I guess, if anybody comes out. But it appears to be a pretty good system, which I've just been avoiding because I was mad at Thomas for suggesting it. And it now looks like it's a much more efficient, effective way for me to get some help on this dishwasher situation.

Well, I do hope it works out. And, you know, me grousing about this idea of everybody's, you know, tossing around to fill out a ticket or whatever. Part of my complaint about that isn't that the process is necessarily difficult, depending on the situation, but it just feels so ineffective. And hopefully it won't be. You know, I mean, it depends on the system you're working within. For you, we'll see how your apartment management company handles it. If it's a work thing, you'll see. But like, I just feel like I've been in situations, maybe I've imagined this and I'm just building up a lot of anger in my head, but I just feel like I've been in a lot of situations. where you say, hey, something's broken. And they say, I'll fill out a ticket. And then two weeks later, you say, so that thing that's broken, they say, oh, I filled out a ticket. And it's like, well, no, the filling out the ticket isn't really solving the problem. It's just your way of saying, yeah, we did all we can do. We filled out a ticket. But again, I don't even know what windmills I'm tilting against here. I just miss Hex Empire. And it's coming out just bitterly.

The listeners can hear it too. What I like about this now is that there's a paper trail. I mean, there's always going to be a paper trail with the emails yeah but now because what's really i think i win either way either they fix it or in like two or three weeks i get to just like screen cap this thing and and nail it to thomas's door like goddamn martin luther nailing his theses yes to the uh uh i forget where he nailed it but he

nailed it somewhere and i'm gonna do that in this building cathedral door i believe is that what it was i think so was it like 99 theses um maybe or is it a jay-z that's where you got to be really careful because sometimes if you have a roomba it'll roll through your cat's theses and it'll

just smear all over the place so be careful about that yeah now i gotta look this up uh let's see

95 okay theses there you go i was pretty close was it a was it on a um church door or a cathedral

door do we have that yeah yeah yeah the castle church you're absolutely right okay uh the 95 theses uh propositions for debate concerned with the question of indulgences written in latin and possibly posted by martin luther on the door of the castle church in wittenberg uh october 31st 1571 so it's halloween he probably did it before he went out trick-or-treating yeah right exactly

He was doing trick-or-treating wrong is actually what happened there. The reason I stuttered there for a second that I wasn't my usual quick wit is because now, and I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I'm digging us deeper into a world that we should know about because we learned about it in school but won't. Like, was this, even though his name was Martin Luther, this nailing of the theses is not the beginning of Lutheranism, right? It's the beginning of the Reformation. Is this right?

I am way out of my element, Donnie, with that. What I believe the issue was that the church was giving out indulgences, which was basically pay to play. Yeah, exactly. So it was like – so you could like – if you had sinned or if you thought you were going to hell, you could just give money to the church, and then they'd be like, okay, we're going to take that off your credit score. and he did not think that this was a good way to do it and so he nailed the theses to the door and then went to a raging Halloween party.

Yeah, bobbed for apples. Remember bobbing for apples when we could do that? Boy, it was safer back in the 1500s, wasn't it?

I wonder what people did for fun back in those days. Be like, you're just like copying, you're like recopying a version of the Bible by candlelight. Yeah. For like 16 hours a day. And then maybe you just one day you only do 14 hours and then you just have some of that beer that those monks were making. Like you light two candles like, oh, boy, let's let's get wild. Let's light two candles.

And I like to picture like one of, let's say, Martin Luther's compatriots. He's trying to have a meeting with maybe some of his the people surrounding him. But then there's one guy in the corner. He keeps on moving these little blocks around a big map of Europe. And he's like, will you please stop playing Hex Empire for two seconds? I'm just trying to have a meeting here.

Should we turn this over to the listeners? Our listeners are, as has been demonstrated over and over again, much smarter than us, much more savvy. I'm sure there's a listener who knows some kind of hack where you can still play Hex Empire.

I mean, I'll look into it. Like, yeah, I'm not too worried. I did get an email. When I mentioned this on the show like a couple of months ago that I play this game, I did get an email from a listener who I don't believe I'd heard from before. somebody who just said hey just want to let you know that i also obsessively play that game and i always play the green corner on the board which is i think that's ballsy i think that's the hardest corner to play because you're then you're going number four instead of going number one which now it's on this bath bathroom humor which is yeah we're talking about theses we're talking about number four yeah god what do you got what are you doing there i'm going number four my god call an ambulance god get out get out can we go out i mean we're not at the end of the show

yet but when we do can we go out every time you mention hex empire this song by the national fake empire comes into my mind there was like one album boxer by the national that i got into um i wouldn't call myself a national head i mean that that was like the national was the official band of a certain kind of white dude for a period of about five years. That sounds like I'm trying to drag them. I don't mean to. I mean, this album, Boxer, I listen to a lot.

lot actually back in the day but it was just like there was a kind of guy that if you just saw him walking down a street in a major urban center you're gonna be like that guy's listening to the

national a lot and i don't know the national really that well but i do feel like that and but i often conflate a bunch of things in pop culture because i'm so ignorant on pop culture which is why i have a podcast um but i feel like was this the era am i right is it like skinny jeans and like new york hipster like skinny jeans and black leather jacket and new york hipster is that the

national i don't um i no i mean i think they're more like they were on the sort of leading edge of the like having a beard and being kind of earthy like a little bit more a little well and i'm gonna have to look at a photo of them because what you're describing to me is more like the

strokes yes even the french kicks okay yeah that's maybe what i was picturing i thought they were and

And the National always struck me as a little bit more mature, a little more bearded.

They are more bearded. I'm looking at them now. Although not, I feel like adjacent, though. I mean, there's, I mean.

But see, they were, these were for the guys who liked Wilco. Okay. So, like, the guys who liked Wilco, which I would count myself as one of them, they got really into the National. Then maybe younger or different kind of guys would get into like Wee Ragazzi or the French Kicks or those bands that were a little bit more New York cool, more skinny jeans, more, you know, more likely to be, you know, doing cocaine or something like that. I feel like those were sort of slightly separate categories of bands. Yes. Yes. And by the way, welcome to my new segment I'm doing for Pitchfork dot com, where I try to describe bands from the mid 2000s based on what I think their drug use would have been.

I am. I still am astounded. And for just for context, if we have any new listeners who are like confused as to why I'm so confused about this, I confused John Mayer and John Legend. And literally, I thought they were the same person up until, was it a year ago you told me that? Less than a year ago. So I just want people to know where I'm coming from on this stuff. I now realize that John Legend and John Mayer are different people.

$300 in a photo ID gives them the right to fly through the air like one of the guardian owls of Legend.

He's typed in legend.

That's Matt Damon. that for that that line just seriously comes up into my brain probably once a week

is that from is that from um 30 rock or it's from 30 rock i think he's a pilot he is a pilot

in 30 rock he's and he's he's he's he's sort of like mad about i think just disrespectful passengers but just that was at the same time when i think like owls of legend guardians of gahool or something was a movie and it was just like i think that was a kind of a random kids movie that was maybe trying to tap into like a harry potter sort of you know type of popularity like there were i think they were making a lot of movies that were had elements of like the harry like you know what i mean like things that reminded people of harry potter because harry potter was so popular and so there was just something about him just casually deploying

owls of legend three hundred dollars and a photo id gives them the right to fly through the air like one of the guardian owls of legend i didn't even know you know that's funny i know i know what

episode that's from he's a pilot the plane is grounded it's kind of a it was during the era of like passenger rights were really big and so this whole episode i believe there's an entire like liz is one of the she's dating him but in this case the power dynamic is weird because she's one of the passengers on this flight that won't move on the tarmac and he keeps coming out and just saying, eh, about five, ten minutes until we take off and they're out there for hours. And then, you know, she learns that he has a pretty, you know, what would you say, dismissive attitude towards people like us who are just flying like chattel on an airplane. But I've heard that line a million times. It never even occurred to me to examine it, though. Like, I didn't know. I'm looking it up now. Legend of the Guardians, the Owls of Gahool. I don't even know what that is. Like, him just saying that. Well, you're about to because I'm about to play the trailer

for you. I don't know if this is going to pay off.

Legend tells of a band of noble guardians sworn to vanquish evil.

Let me mention, these are like steampunk owls. Okay, oh good. Well, one of them had like some steampunk goggles and was like forging some kind of talon covers out of metal. It's very like Lord of the Rings meets Potter. Kingdom.

But they remain lost in the mists of Gahul. Hidden to all. but those who believe. Stop! You're gonna give her daymares. But this is my favorite part. You have a soft head, Saren, filled with

stories and dreams. There's nothing wrong

with dreams. Are these all owls?

Yes, and I will tell you something. Owls are very cute. I stared at an owl for 30 minutes a couple months ago in Bellingham.

Rudy and I were on a walk an owl of legend alighted on a branch near us and I just stared at their they're beautiful animals they're regal you animated out of that animated owls are creepy a really like just watching this trailer like it's super weird I'm sure this was like a movie that some of our younger listeners probably absolutely loved and hey you go for it I absolutely loved the Ralph Bakshi animated Hobbit movie which is just honestly like doing drugs watching it it's like doing acid it's like the weirdest the music is scary the animation is over the top so i'm not trying to judge anybody for what their um you know uh film taste is but i don't think i would watch this whole movie because the owls are very uncanny to

me i would love it if you got canceled because of you because of your take on animated owls you're being so careful here you're saying i don't want to offend anybody who enjoys animated owls they're just i look at them and it doesn't seem right to me i like other things you might not like but for me i'm gonna leave animated owls on the table no offense of goal of goal um hey uh

ken jen hosted a jeopardy last night i'm guessing you didn't watch it andrew because i get the feeling i'm a little more of a regular viewer of that show oh yeah i every now and then like

i like jeopardy if it happens to be on it always brings me pleasure because just this you know it's i just connected to childhood and i like it but i don't watch it regularly although i did me with The Owls of Gahool. Right, exactly. I love animated owls, by the way, you jerk. You truckin' jerk. I was going to say, though, that I did see in the Seattle Times today, though, that I read a little review of his debut. And, of course, not that it matters, but, of course, this was taped about, what, six weeks ago he taped? Or was it more than that, that he taped a certain number of Jeopardy's that we're just seeing now?

I think he's taped, like, six weeks of them.

Oh, that's what I'm thinking of, yes.

But the thing but the thing is, you know, they tape like even when when Alex Trebek was still alive, but not, you know, in the picture of health, they were talking about like the taping schedule on that show. And it's crazy to me where they would tape like five shows a day sometimes, which, I mean, just seems exhausting as the host. There's just a lot to keep straight. and um uh so uh they've they've they have six weeks in the can of kenjin but i don't actually know what that means in terms of um like when he started doing these like if they started i i can't imagine that they started taping these while alex trebek was still alive um uh i would be really surprised i think there would probably be something kind of a little bit sort of disrespectful about that and and and by the way i'll mention that um uh i thought it was really nice what he did when he came out. Ken, he sort of made this little statement. I'll play it for you.

Thank you, Johnny Gilbert. Thank you, everyone. Welcome to Jeopardy. You know, sharing this stage with Alex Trebek was one of the greatest honors of my life. Not many things in life are perfect, but Alex did this job pretty much perfectly for more than 36 years, and it was even better up close we were dazzled by his intelligence his charm his grace really there's no other word for it like all Jeopardy fans I miss Alex very much and I thank him for everything he did for all of us let's be totally clear no one will ever replace the great Alex Trebek but we can honor him by

playing the game he loved Jim so that was like the open which I thought was really really nice like tonally it's perfect um it was perfect it really it really was like that's i've there you know i can't think of any way to be more respectful to the memory of alex trebek um but you know direct and not overly schmaltzy i do think he got a little choked up um which was also very touching um and then he just sets about hosting the show and i have to say he did a really good job like there's a lot of there's just so much technical stuff with the show that you you know like i've never when alex rebeck was hosting the show it just seemed natural because he'd been hosting it for so long but then when someone else is doing you start to worry like how how are the different ways that they're going to say wrong like you got the question wrong or that you got the question right like alex rebeck had developed all these little systems you know what i mean because you're not just going to say correct 33 times in a show so you have to kind of mix it up uh what are you gonna say when someone's close but they're off and the judges are saying that you can't give them the answer there's just all these little moments of kind of verbiage that he did really well like he just seemed very natural he was really good at reading the questions i mean it took like five minutes before i was just playing along watching it before after it no longer seemed like a novelty and he was really like yeah he just seemed extremely comfortable and

in his element um and there was a moment where uh one of the contestants who i think is like a she's in like a lawyer's choir like a choir made up of lawyers and then i forget what exactly the final jeopardy question was but it somehow touched on oh i think it touched on choral music and when i she got it wrong or there was a question that touched on choral music and she got it wrong or she didn't answer and ken was like oh i expected you to get that one like he was referring back to her like little interview that he did with her like it was just clear that he was just tracking everything um and uh i just thought he did a really good job um and then i texted him afterwards and i did not expect a response because i figured he was pretty inundated uh but he did get back to me and i said like you know really good job and everything and he said uh thanks yeah it was pretty nerve-wracking later shows are probably going to seem a little looser um so if this was his like nervous show I have really high hopes for um for for how it's going to go uh you know in the future and I like I'm not sure if he really has the gig or not it sounds like Katie Couric has also taped a week and I mean Katie Couric is an extremely competent broadcaster um but again there is a and this was mentioned in the um the review that this guy Chris Talbot wrote in the Seattle times there's just a familiarity with like every single little mechanism in the game that Ken has because he's played it so many times and because he's super smart and because he doesn't drink so his brain is not Swiss cheese like our brains are like I seriously think about that a lot I'm like of course he's smart and of course he's good at this stuff he's not hung over I literally have this thought about Ken Jen about once a week I'm not thinking about the The Owls of Gahool. I'm thinking about how much less destroyed Ken's brain is than ours.

So do you think that I would be better at TBTL if I didn't huff nightly? Yes, I do. If I didn't huff airplane glue. I look forward to seeing Steve Harvey host Jeopardy. I mean, that's the one that I'm really excited for because I think he's going to bring a different kind of panache to the show.

He's going to do a fun thing where he announces the wrong winner at the end of every game.

I got to say, though, in all seriousness, like, and again, I don't watch Family Feud enough either, but on the occasion that I happen to catch it, I know that he can be a bit much, and that is the whole thing. But, like, I don't think Steve Harvey is bad at that job. Like, I think that he's actually really good at that job, and it makes me want to watch it. Like, I think he's a good – I mean, there is a specific skill that is hosting a game show that is different than anything else.

Absolutely. And what Steve Harvey has mastered is that I would call it like the Jack Benny. So like Jack Benny famously, and I've only kind of realized this in listening to a lot of like Conan O'Brien and stuff and people who really have studied comedy and all really venerated Jack Benny. He was very good at the sort of apoplectic reaction, as was Johnny Carson. That kind of just like you don't even have to make the joke. you just sort of like somebody says something and you just you kind of look at them with a slight head tilt and then the audience gets to fill in like the humor there and you know what's kind of funny and I'm not trying to compare myself to those people because I am you know not at their level but sometimes on live wire when we were doing it in front of live crowds the acoustics are very weird on stage it's actually sometimes it can be hard to hear the guest even though they're only sitting like six feet away depending on how they have the monitor Set up if that makes any sense So there would be times where the Guest would say something and I Actually wouldn't know what they said And I would kind of but I would read Through their body language and stuff That it was something maybe that was comedic or Edgy and I would just look at them because I literally didn't have a response and then the crowd Would just immediately start Laughing because they think that you're making a statement

By not saying anything but like you're like incredulous

Live live crowds Love the host being kind Of confused by what just happened like that's a big thing but no steve harvey is really good at hosting that show what i don't like about that show now is i feel like they've really really started to slack on the methodology around the questions yes i agree so it used to be you know um i'm not gonna be able to think of a good example but it was like name you know the top things you take to the beach perfect thank you andrew that's a now it's like things that tell you your booty be stinking and it's like and it's like well really was that a was that a category and then the answers are like designed for like maximal steve harvey apoplectic response exactly it doesn't it doesn't feel like they really went and asked people a legit question they kind of ginned something up so that they can get viral moments out of confused uh you know competitors and a confused and over it steve harvey i agree

with you and that is what when i say over the top instead of like instead of realizing oh these moments are little gems. that come about naturally. They're forcing the issue. This is a terrible idea, but I'm going to hit play on just the very beginning of Best Answers and Moments with Steve Harvey on Family Feud USA. This is a 10 and a half minute file. We'll just watch that on seven to nine and a half minutes of it.

Top six answers on the board. Here we go. We asked 100 women, fill in the blank. My man is like a puppy dog because of the way he what? Licks me.

Now he's going to look at the crowd He cannot believe

I mean who would have said that I mean and How did this go off the rails so fast We're trying to run a respectable Feud between families And you're making it dirty Well what kind of puppy you got

More than what a hundred women got

Wow it is Flirty up on that stage right now

yeah is it also i have to say no offense to steve harvey but like that's a decent like if anyone's ever had a puppy they do lick you yes like in other words like like when he says like what kind of puppy you got maybe he's trying to make yet another joke i mean i i think i understand the subtext of this whole thing but what i'm saying is like he if if his point is that that's a weird response or that is a weird thing for a puppy to do i would say it's very much the way puppies

operate the thing that he does that i'm unironically saying is brilliant there though in his showmanship of this character that he plays when one visual cue that you did not see is he leans into her microphone. This is at the this is when the like at the beginning of the round where there's one person from each family up at the podium. Right. And so obviously he's miked himself. He doesn't need to use it, but he uses her little bendy mic and bends it towards him and says that kind of lasciviously, if that's the right word. I don't think. No, I think it is. And and, you know, it's just it's those little moments. I know that Steve Harvey

He's very skilled at that job 100%

So anyway congratulations Ken

No really though For real Ken did a really good job And I hope that I'm going to say It's been one episode But I'm already ready to just declare him the winner Like I said They know Katie Couric has taped a week There's talk of like Neil deGrasse Tyson and George Stephanopoulos and I'm I'm not really I don't I don't have any inside track to what the actual thinking is for the producers of the show but what I will say is having watched one episode of Ken doing it it just what it was exactly what I wanted as a regular viewer of that program which was the show just ran smoothly and and Ken was like he was he made it the exact right amount about him which was not very much about him but every once in a while he got off a little funny joke mostly he was just effectively coordinating the game because the reason i like watching jeopardy is because i like seeing the i guess they're technically the answers and then i like uh you know i like trying to guess and seeing if i can you know get some questions right that the the the panelists haven't gotten right or whatever that's all i really want to do is just feel a quick hit of dopamine when i've gotten some question right and that's what was happening last night and i can only imagine it's only going to go up from here so like uh good job

ken here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's

not from a female all right we didn't get to the uh bitcoin story or the earth spinning story but let's do those tomorrow because i actually think they're both pretty interesting um particularly

the bitcoin thing um so what what what intro drops what audio did you use to introduce those stories today because now we got to go see that's the thing that you and i talk about off air and i don't know if we've addressed it on air but this has become one of my more favorite games when we don't get to the stories on the first day you promote them you have to think of a different

little piece of tape to illustrate them in the next day's intro i've burned that whatever the initial tape well the good news was okay so i use time as a flat circle right so we need a new new thing yeah but that one i will find some i can find something else on that and then i didn't

even have an audio drop for the bitcoin so oh and you know i've got i got some good bit i got some

good bitcoin tape for you you know that i just i had a moment this if we're going to talk about bitcoin tomorrow i should save this but you know bitcoin has been going totally crazy we I'm not going to say what I was about to say because it would be maybe the person wouldn't want me to we have a friend we have a mutual friend who has done exceptionally well in that realm shockingly well in that realm

and was kind of a professional in that realm or was right

no maybe we're talking about a different we have multiple friends that are getting rich off of bitcoin um

But no, I was going to say that I kind of like, I don't know, a year ago, I got interested. I mean, I am so utterly and completely confused as to how any of that stuff works. But I basically bought like $100 of like, which is one back then that was like a zillionth of one Bitcoin, you know, like a fractional amount of one Bitcoin for like a hundred bucks. And I was like, I'll just, this will be a fun thing to watch. and just, anyway, it went up to like 200 bucks and I just immediately put the money back in my bank account. I was like, sweet, I made $100.

Oh, really? You invested in that? I was wondering, a listener brought that up recently, so I was hoping that maybe you had just held on to it and forgot about it.

No, because I felt so chuffed that I had like made the money, however much it was I made, that I was like, and also I am notoriously bad at predicting where things are going to go. Again, I'm on the record as saying, I thought that the vaccine rollout was going to go faster than expected. So that was wrong But anyway I was like hey I wonder What's going on with that account I must have left Like I must have left like 50 cents in there or something Andrew Like there was no money in the account It's $200 a game Oh my god that is so good No I don't even want to mess with it dude I feel like Yeah I don't To me it's I don't know enough about where that market's going I should actually just ask our friend who's printing or digitally encrypting money over there but no I couldn't believe it I literally must have had like three dollars in there I don't know how there's money in the account there was some tiny little rounding error of money that was still in there that the market has so exploded that it moved back up to being almost 200 bucks I'm jealous

I'm jealous of myself

I am going to leave that in Yes absolutely I don't even know that existed I don't even know what I own Like I'm totally This is a real You know what kind of sucks about it though About all this Bitcoin stuff Is it means those Winklevoss twins Oh yeah I mean they put everything into this stuff Back in the day And everybody was making fun of them Because you know this stuff has been so volatile It's been down to like nothing at points But, boy, I guess they knew what they were up to. You want to hear a voicemail? I do want to hear a voicemail.

All right. You and I were talking on the show a while back. When I say a while back, I think I mean yesterday, 24 hours ago, possibly. I don't remember when we were talking about bananas. But at some point, we were talking about the fact that this comedy trope that is as old as time of people slipping on a banana peel. Where does that come from? Because you and I were saying banana peels are, while they probably were on the sidewalk a lot more back in the old dirty days when people were just throwing their garbage all over the place, they don't seem especially slippery, maybe until they start rotting or whatever. And a listener had some input on that.

Hey guys, I was just calling to follow up on banana talk from last week. The deal with the bananas is that there used to be a different species of banana that everybody was eating. I don't know if it's species or subtype or whatever the right taxonomy is. But anyways, I believe it was a cabinet banana, and they were really, really slippery. They were actually slippery, and people were, you know, falling and getting hurt and stuff like that. And it was a big issue, and part of it was that, you know, sanitation collection system wasn't, you know, really well developed. But the bananas were actually legit, super slippery. But I guess the banana, you know, species or whatever went extinct. And so the type of banana that we eat now are not free. I mean, I guess they're a little bit slippery, but that's the big issue. Anyway, there you go. Banana out.

Banana out. I love that. We need to get more research on that.

Do you think that that listener wants to retain all rights to the character Mr. Banana out?

I should have kept those rights. Another thing that we did during the Winter Games was we took a... Wait. Go ahead.

Not that we need to repeat this because it came up when we last talked about bananas, but also part of the thing I think we learned from Mental Floss or Atlas Obscura, right, was that there was a particular woman in New York City who kept suing the city and various other entities over slipping on banana peels.

Yeah, like the first time it was successful, and then she kept going back to that banana well, I believe.

And she got this insane amount of money for that time.

And she invested it all in banana coin, which just made her so rich.

There's always money in the banana coin.

Yeah, that's right.

Can you tell I've been re-watching Arrested Development?

I can. I can't tell exactly how, but I'm picking up on... something um okay so i want to move on you and i had taken this um i guess a personality quiz on the harry potter website the sorting hat to figure out which i said which school but it's not it's like which house you but they all go to the same school but then there's different houses hogwarts is the school right and you and i both took the quiz uh on the show and we both ended up being like griffin boys or what are we we're uh we're a griffindor i think griffindors yeah yeah which was surprising because genevieve one time famously in my head said to me um don't take this the wrong way but you're a uh dumbledore what's the other no hufflepuff right which and i was like i don't even know what that means but i don't like the way you said that like that sounds like i wouldn't

want to be a hufflepuff like had she not said don't take this the wrong way you wouldn't have taken it the wrong way if she would have said oh i see you as a total hufflepuff yeah right

You'd be like, get over here, you big Hufflepuff.

Yeah, that sounds like a sweet, you know, cool person to be.

Right. Don't take this the wrong way. Because, again, obviously, and I honestly have never watched or read these books. I'm not just spoofing there. So, anyway, you and I took that quiz. We're both, what are we, Dumbledorfs? No. We are. No, we're Gryffindor. We're Gryffindor. And I had seen chatter online amongst some pretty frustrated Harry Potter fan listeners about the results of that personality quiz. There seems to be consensus that we are Gryffindors, that we are not Gryffindors. So here, let's take a listen to this.

Hey, this is Stephanie, a proud Hufflepuff in Portland, Oregon. And I am really confused by the results of this quiz. Andrew, Hufflepuffs' main characteristics are loyalty and honesty, and Glissant Doors are like adventurousness and kind of like boisterous people. So I'm just a little confused by all of this, because you are 100% a Hufflepuff. You are like considerate. Wait, why is it that any time anyone is describing what house you're in,

they have to preface it by saying, don't take this the wrong way?

Nobody wants to say. By the way, I was kind of trying to, I couldn't tell if it was Gryffindor or Gryffindor. I couldn't tell what you were saying, and I didn't want to linger on it, and I see now that it's Gryffindor, but it did put, isn't Dorf the character that you talk about a lot where, who is it? Tim Conway on his

Dorf on golf. He is standing on a stage that's built to where you can't see below the knees, his legs. Is he standing

on a stage or is he kneeling? I always thought he was kneeling in shoes. You know what?

I think it's because it was on

the golf course. I don't think that that was a stage.

I think it depends because I remember him in some cases kind of like tilting himself back like lying flat in this way that would be like physically impossible. I think sometimes he'd be on his knees and they just like push the shoes in front of his knees. Okay. And sometimes I think he would actually be on a raised platform that was allowing him to kind of like basically be even weirder with his physicality.

I guess my question here though is Gryffindorff a good character? Like some sort of Gryffindor. Very good at golf. He loves golf.

Everyone else is playing Quidditch. But if you're in Gryffindorff, you're on the golf team.

Or no, it is Quidditch. and he's just doing the short character on his knees while everybody's running around. Norfond Quidditch.

Okay, that would be friggin' great.

Okay, I think we're in the middle of a voicemail. So this listener is saying that she's confused. What I like about this listener is what she is is frustrated and slightly put off. Which is classic Hufflepuff. Which is classic Hufflepuff, but she's saying confused. Don't take that the wrong way. And I've done that before. I don't know. I'm just confused here. You know, like when you're getting bad customer service. It was my understanding that I gave you money and that I should now get a product. So anyway, back to our frustrated listener.

Showbody a little bit and, you know, getting more adventurous and like a little reckless. And I feel like Andrew, you're more of a rule follower. And, you know, just like I'm just confused. That's all. Okay. See you guys later.

I'm just confused and just a little disappointed. I'm gonna I'm gonna read from wikipedia.org the different houses and what the I mean we just from listener Stephanie got a pretty good description of some of them so Gryffindor values courage bravery nerve and chivalry um Hufflepuff which Stephanie thinks you are Andrew and I guess it sounds like Stephanie does think I'm a Gryffindor yeah or it's more likely I'm a Gryffindor

Um, I don't think I'm particularly brave. I'm very chivalrous.

You're very, well, you know what? Would you say that you're daring? And is it worth getting into the conversation, the difference between brave and daring? Like, you are daring. I think the problem is people think, and I don't know if this is right or not, but I think that people assume that bravery also goes hand in hand with a certain selflessness, which I don't think that necessarily is true. Like, I think that you're definitely daring and, like, in ways that I'll list some here. hopefully they're not too insulting but also pretty mundane but like you're like you you would brag back in the day about you know you'll you'll park anywhere right and sure and and you know yeah are you brave because you'll park anywhere and not worry about the ticket or are you daring i would certainly say that like you right and whereas i don't even get into a car because i'm

scared of getting tickets and daring is more also kind of like a little bit stupid at times a little but under-informed, like that can all be still part of being daring. Like, oh, I'm going to jump my bicycle off of this high dive at Green Lake. It's not very smart. It might be daring. It's not brave. Right. Okay, so Hufflepuff, which we've now got two independent sources. That would be listener Stephanie and Genevieve saying you're Hufflepuff, which, by the way, is a very good thing to be. Hard work, patience, justice, and loyalty. I actually would legit say those describe you in my mind. Like, you're a really hard worker. You're very patient with me. Thank you. I think when you do get mad, it's because you feel an injustice has been perpetrated against, like, me by Thomas or something like that. And loyalty. I think you're a very loyal person. So I think those are really good qualities.

Yeah, I mean, it's like that Boy Scout code that I tried to remember the other day. I have all of those. I'm trying to figure.

Now, there's still two more houses, though. Ravenclaw, they value intelligence, learning, wisdom, and wit. So that'd be like Ken Jen is a Ravenclaw, probably. And then Slytherin, this would be like Elon Musk. Slytherin values ambition, cunning, leadership, and resourcefulness.

Is it true that Elon Musk, who was I reading the other day? It was just like one of those Instagram stories, so I can't. That he's rich? That he actually is rich. that he actually has means. Now, that he is not actually the founder of Tesla, but he bought the rights to call himself the founder of Tesla. Is that something you've heard? I don't know about that. It sounds like a joke, but the way it was presented wasn't very jokey. It was just a reminder that when buying this, he took over the role of founder and also said that the people who actually did found the company were no longer allowed to call themselves the founder. I'm really delving into some internet bullshit here.

You're no longer allowed to tell people about our fried pickles?

it really does sound like like bullshit so i don't know if that's true or not it

by the way elon musk is on my list along with mcconaughey elon is a guy who used to have very little hair on top of his head and now has a lot of hair on top of his head he's on my watch list um do you want to know a real sort of series of thoughts i had related to elon musk the other day It was when the announcement came in that he had surpassed Jeff Bezos as the richest person on planet Earth. I want to say it's like $186 billion or something, because the Tesla stock has been going through the roof as well. And I looked at a picture of Elon Musk, and it was from September. And it said Elon Musk is him appearing at the opening of some factory or thing he owns in Germany. And I was thinking to myself, how did he get to go to Germany in September, like the pandemic? And then my thought was, I wonder if he has a private plane. And then I was like, of course he has a private plane. But I mean, it wasn't a given in my mind that Elon Musk, the richest person on planet Earth, has a private plane. Like that was the chain of thoughts in my head was, how did he get to Germany? I mean, are we even allowed in Germany? And then it was like, oh, I wonder if he has another way to get to Germany. Oh, I wonder if he has his own plane. I wonder if Elon Musk can afford his own plane. yes he can't afford his own plane that was a thing my brain had to do which is just crazy to me like if there's a person on planet earth who the guy has a private rocket ship yeah of course he has a private plane it's a given but it was not in my mind an obvious fact that elon musk has his own

private plane still though jokes on him because the second you fly a private plane off the lot it's like devalues by like 50%. So who's the smart guy now? Yeah.

Elon. Elon. Okay. Well, I guess that's going to do it for today's episode. What's the song by The National that you like? It's called Fake Empire. And I do like that the album is called Boxer. And I am a fan of the album. I hope that our national fans out there who also may be fans of the Guardians of Legend.

I hope I haven't alienated too many listeners today.

I'm looking, by the way, their most popular song is something called Coney Island featuring the Nationals. So their most popular song isn't even by them. That's really interesting. Huh.

Well, who is it? The song is called Coney Island? The band is Coney Island?

Let me go to this. Now, are we just going to go with this song? No, we're not.

We're going to play Fake Empire because you keep talking about Hex Empire.

I do. Oh, you know what? They are on a Taylor Swift song. Oh, well, that would explain it. Called Coney Island featuring The National. But we're not going to play that. We are going to play Fake Empire.

Fake Empire off of the album Boxer, a very solid album by The National. All right. That's going to do it for today's show. Thank you so much for listening. By the way, you know what's really nice, Andrew, is it's now stopped raining in Portland. Yeah, nice. Go for a jog. Perfect timing. Perfect timing for my little schedule. All right. We'll see you all tomorrow. Until then, have a good Tuesday. Stay dry. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Stayin' super late tonight Pickin' apples, makin' pies Put a little somethin' in our lemonade And take it with us We're half awake in a fake empire We're half awake in a fake empire Tiptoe through our shiny city With our diamond slippers on Do our gay ballet and ice Bluebirds on our shoulders We're half awake in a fake empire We're half awake in a fake empire guitar solo Thinking for a little while Listening, trying to figure out Everything at once It's hard to keep track of you Falling through the sky We're high for the way

And I think

Power out