Muse

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I can't understand a word you said the whole time Did you eat some peanut butter or something? Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth

We're just a bunch of savages, right? We're not like your fancy California friends You're George Clooney and your California raisins

Fair warning, I party pretty hard I've been wrecking parties since I was 13 I was like the Hunter S. Thompson of Bar Mitzvahs.

I thought that was some of the funniest sh** I've heard you guys do in a long time. I was L-O-L-A. How can they say this about me? I don't believe it. I show them. I record everything.

All right, hello. Good morning, and welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of TBTL. It's your lucky day. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. The word that comes to mind is ludicrous. Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, where we are looking at another passable day. It is not actively raining, which is always a win this time of year. I am being visited by a number of hummingbirds, which I can't remember if I said this on the show or off the air the other day, But I finally realized why there are hummingbirds flying around 200 or so feet up in the sky in Portland, Oregon. And that is because the people that live one floor below me have hummingbird feeders, suction cups to their windows. So the hummingbirds, they come there, they get their food, and then they fly up here and they listen to this award-winning podcast, or at least whatever it is they're able to make out through the glass. Also, I don't think we've won any awards yet. But I always say a Peabody is just an award we haven't won yet. So I'm holding out hope. I don't need to feel hopeful to tell you that this episode, 3,347 in a collector series, is going to be amazing. Let the fun begin. As long as I don't activate the fax machine on my printer, with my foot that's because that is uh my printer is on the floor here and it makes a really perfect sort of foot stand for me except i just turned the fax machine on anyway this is going to be a great episode is what i'm trying to tell all of you there's an interesting story from right here in oregon uh regarding some health care workers who got stuck in a snowstorm and they had a bunch of expiring COVID vaccine.

COVID. COVID. Oh, no, COVID.

And the story of what they did with that vaccine that was about to expire is pretty interesting. We will talk about that also. Something interesting happened in Australia. A guy was swimming in a lake. It's called Lake Placid. I think that's a misleading name because a crocodile came and put its mouth

around the head of this guy australia is a wonderful island and australians are just as

unique and this guy prized the crocodile's jaws off of his head swam to shore went and got medical help the thing he said after that though felt very australian to me uh and we'll tell you what he said coming up also a woman is uh getting tiktok famous for filming herself sleepwalking

I grope people in my sleep. It's a condition.

It's how she activates the sleepwalking that is of interest to me, and I hope will be of interest to all of you. So we'll talk about that. Oh, here's something I'm definitely interested in. When we're done here, I am going to go do a TV interview with the actual person largely responsible for the steamed hams bit on The Simpsons.

You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes.

It's a regional dialect. I'll be talking to Bill Oakley, one of the former bigwigs at The Simpsons. So I'm excited about that. I'm also excited that it's a Thursday, a.k.a. a Blur's Day.

It's my birthday today.

So we'll do those Blur's Day messages. And we'll do some emails and VMLs, all with the help of this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show. He is known for his drawings of tall ships.

He never misses the Sausage Fest. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington.

Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. So many things I want to tell you, but I know that you have so many things that you want to talk about, too. So I'm going to not dominate the first 15 or 20 minutes of the show like I usually do. And I'm just going to sit back, and I'm going to let you take the driver's wheel, as they famously call it, in a car. Take the driver's wheel. Yes. Lucas, take the wheel.

I want to warm your heart right now, Andrew. Even your frosty, icy heart, which is famously impenetrable and not susceptible to things that are scientifically recognized as adorable.

Even your heart. I sometimes cry at Amazon.com commercials. Sure. You do? No, I don't know. I was trying to think. They have some pretty sentimental commercials. Anyway.

You know, I'm trying to think what the last commercial I cried at was. Well, the commercials that I was thinking you were talking about the other day when you were asking for some help on after these messages. I don't know if they're quite cry worthy, but the ones that I was thinking of, which aren't the ones you were thinking of, which I believe are Amazon. Yeah. Can we say that word? Is that going to activate a bunch of those things all over the place?

You can say the word echo, you can't say its name, you can't say its trigger word, but the device is an echo. That's a clean workaround right there.

I wouldn't say it's a full-on crier, but I do the commercial where a young woman, I think, is about to have a date. This, of course, is pre-pandemic, and her date is coming over, and she is trying to figure out how to cook this dish, and her dad is helping her. And you don't realize that they're not in the same room the way that it's shot. It's like the dad is saying, OK, do this, do that. And then you realize, oh, he's just on this device helping her out. And then, you know, she hangs up and goes about with her date. That commercial, I think, is actually pretty cute. Maybe it's because I have a soon to be 27 year old daughter.

So it resonates with me. Yeah, there's one. I haven't seen that commercial in a really long time, but it used to be in a really heavy rotation. I was not going to get you off track here. I just was going to say one thing about it is there's there's one note in that commercial. I recall near the end that like kind of strikes me as odd and I think they need it because they're they want something for the big reveal that oh the dad isn't in the kitchen he's been on an echo all along but she says something like the dad's as he's walking her through cooking something near the end of the commercial he says so what's his name and she's like oh dad and I'm wondering what the why is she embarrassed that why is she suddenly embarrassed that she's that she has a date and this whole time has she not told her dad that it's a date why it seems like a weird interaction at the end I hadn't noticed

that yeah those my guess is they shot for two days and probably had all kinds of different takes and then they edited it together in such a way that maybe they lost the initial part where she tells him you know I've got a date coming over or something but but you're right they probably put that in for whatever reason maybe they thought it was relatable or who knows here's something that I know will be relatable for the listeners, Andrew, which is the absolute adorableness that is my nieces, Maddie and Mary, who sent me letters this week, and they are so, so cute. This is from my niece, Maddie. Uncle Luke, I hope you're doing well. I really miss you. I hope you had a great holiday season and are enjoying Portland. There's surprisingly quite a bit keeping me busy during the pandemic. Some of it is fun. I have the play, drama club, and I'm taking online trumpet lessons. I hope you've got some fun things going on. I've also enjoyed listening to TBTL. Also, I guess uncommon sense isn't happening. That was the podcast that she wanted to start with her sister. I guess uncommon sense isn't happening because Marion has lost all interest. Oh, well. Well, I love you and can't wait to see you again. Love, Maddie.

Well, wait, who's got the IP on that? Can Maddie still start the podcast with a different co-host? And if so, would she be interested in like a 44-year-old man being her co-host?

Maybe you guys could pitch that to the new Dan Lebitard media empire.

Yeah. Whatever that company is does not have a very good name, by the way. What are they calling it? Oh, I guess it's – is it Meadowlark? And it's a weird model. They're not creating a platform. They're just creating a production company so they can shop their stuff off to other platforms. It's very unexciting. I mean, I'm sure it makes great sense for them and, you know, good on them. And I hope they're successful. But, like, I was getting ready for, like, a big platform where you bring all of the Levitard stuff under one big ten.

But no, it's just kind of this boring company called Meadowlark. But anyway, I think we can all I think I speak for the listeners when I say, oh, it's an interesting biz dev story that I got us into.

No, I did.

No, that was my fault because I said we got to pitch you guys to Lebitard.

Yeah. But then I had to step on the joke.

But anyway, OK, that was I noticed that by the way, I noticed that Maddie wrote TM after Uncommon Sense. So I do believe she's got that trademark. Savvy. She is a very, very savvy kid. Here's one from my niece, Marion. Formerly one half of the Uncommon Sense podcast.

Before the ugly breakup.

Dear Uncle Luke, I hope things are going well in Portland. I can't wait until I can see you again. I have a new really good joke. Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Why can't Cinderella play soccer, Andrew?

I don't know why, or how, or why. I'm good at this.

Because she always runs away from the ball.

Oh, yeah. That's pretty good, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a pretty good spoof. I like it. It took me, it was a thinker, because I didn't remember the story.

It's a way homer. Mary says, I think that's pretty good. I agree, Mary, that is pretty good. She's got another one here, a knock-knock joke. She says, I also have a knock-knock one, but it's not as good.

Okay. Do you want me to do it with you? Who's there? Knock-knock.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Cargo. Cargo who? No. Cargo beep-beep vroom-vroom.

That is so good. What do you mean that's not as good? I'm just reading the letter verbatim. No, no, I know. I'm talking to her directly now.

I wasn't weighing in.

I love that's a real I'm not a huge knock knock joke guy but that's a really good one

yeah it's pretty solid that's that is the most genuinely cracked up I think you've been in months

maybe since the pandemic I swear to God I'm thinking about who I can tell that joke to obviously Genevieve will be up there on the list

Mary continues anyway I have been baking a lot lately and reading a lot I hope being a vegetarian is going well If I was one, it wouldn't last long I miss you, I love you XOXO Marion That's pretty good Pretty good

I was

Very touched by that yesterday And got on the Hawk Squad text chain And said thank you to them And told them that they were the best nieces I could ever hope for And also let all of my nephews know That they need to really step up their game Because they're basically doing

Jack Squad! Wait a second The kids are all on the Hawk Squad chain?

Yes.

For how long? Is this always been constant?

When they got phones.

Like in the past year or so? I don't know why we haven't talked about this. This is fascinating. We've heard so much about your family text chain called Hawk Squad because it was born around your love of Seahawks and watching Seahawks games together. But I take it it's way bigger than that now. But now how many young people are on this chain now?

I actually think it's only Maddie and Mary. OK, so me telling my nephews to get it together was sort of lost on them because the nephews, the nephews are. Well, they're young. There's a little Luke. There's Ian, who's not on the chain. And then there's Jack and Abe who live in the woods like wildlings. And I don't have I don't think they have their own phones. OK, so so they're the I think the only like the youngest generation on the text chain would be Maddie and Marion.

Okay, gotcha

But I'm hoping that when they get a chance to see their cousins They will let them know that Maddie and Mary are my favorite

Yeah, I think that they'll come through on that

Yeah, definitely Yeah, so that's You know, I don't think I've gotten a letter I mean, I got some Christmas cards Which is always, you know, sweet and appreciated I've really Well, I mean, getting divorced puts a bit of a kink in that But I've really sort of Lost the momentum on that myself Of sending out Christmas cards Even, you know, in the past few years Those are always nice to get And I appreciate the effort But I haven't gotten like a letter letter Like a handwritten letter in a long time So it was, especially not one Laced with hilarious knock-knock jokes That's weird

That was exciting In the past two weeks You have not gotten a letter from my lawyer You should have gotten that You should have had to sign for it

Something keeps, the fax machine keeps ringing And telling me there's an incoming Subpoena And I just keep stepping on it with my foot And turning it off Are those related?

Actually, maybe I actually had my lawyer draft something up I wanted to know if we could do the show by fax From now on Is there a way we can just fax each other Our lines of each side of the conversation and do it that way just the facts ma'am yep just the facts i um i'm i'm sort of monkeying with my headphones right now andrew because i am um after we're done with this i'm going to go film a little tv thing with bill oakley uh but i uh i got out of the shower and i combed my hair it's a whole process right there's the combing of the hair then i have to let the hair dry then if i'm going to be on tv i have to put my special i have to paint my bald spot it's a whole thing but what happened to me the other day was i took a shower i recorded stuff for live wire and the headphones were doing something to my hair while it was drying so that basically when i took the headphones off my hair had dried in exactly the shape of having headphones on and there was no fixing it i had to take another shower i was a real andrew to take it i had to take an entirely additional shower just to get my hair back to like neutral so that i could redo the process uh and so i'm trying to avoid that happening right now because i have taken a shower i have combed my hair but i have not done all of the various um other treatments to it by the way people must think i'm insane in this neighborhood because basically that powder that I put in there, it's called Topic, it is so, I mean, it's a very, I don't know what kind of alchemy or dark magic they've done to make this stuff work, but it's like the finest powder you could ever imagine. And I believe it's somehow like static charge, so it sort of sticks to your hairs and stuff. But if you put it on, you have to kind of go and like sort of shake it out of your hair a little bit Because you basically have to put on a little bit too much And then kind of shake out the excess And then you have about the right amount One would have the right amount But it goes everywhere Like were I to just sort of like do that in my bathroom My whole bathroom would be covered In like a layer of black fine dust In fact a friend of mine who shall remain nameless Once hooked up Andrew With a pretty famous television food personality person And she was telling me the story of how in this famous television, food television person's bathroom, there was just a layer of black dust on everything. And she was like, I think he had hair plugs and he had to like paint them. I was like, oh, no, my friend, I'll tell you exactly what that was. That was topic.

How long ago did you hear this story? Is this something, is this a new story in your life?

No, no, this is a years old story and I'm trying to be vague. Like, in fact, you don't know any of the people involved. I mean, you literally don't know the person who told me the story. And you also probably wouldn't even know the person that it was, you know, about. But I think I probably haven't mentioned it because it did involve my friend, you know, sort of spending an intimate moment with a television celebrity who I believe my friend said, I just figured, eh, he's on TV.

but um that's your that's your approach to dating uh now going well he's got a podcast right that's my tinder profile you should put that on your profile i got a podcast i'm on tv that's true you are on tv right um oh but anyway i was like being on tv this is related to what you're talking about you're mentioning getting ready for this by the way your your hair the way your headphones fit into that it sounded like you were an action figure of yourself like get the get the luke burbank action figure with the headphones that snap on you know how like when the hands on those yes are like you can snap and the kung fu grip right um but my question for you is a simple one you're going to record something for cbs you are going to be on tv and you're still using your own camera or did cbs send you like a good some like quasi-professional camera

i am going to go over to bill oakley's backyard because he lives in portland oh i'm sorry if you said that well there's no way for you to know that i didn't say that and that's kind of random that he lives here um but but to answer your question when i do film something here at home i just use the same laptop that like i use for hey dummies and um and then i will set up my cell phone as kind of a b camera so i'll put it on a little tabletop tripod and it's kind of filming me from the side and then i will send both files so that the editor back in new york can kind of cut between the two shots if need be interesting yeah i know it's not it's pretty like it's pretty i think if i was higher on their food chain like something tells me jane paulie isn't using right a six-year-old macbook air right um what's face daily packing oh gosh i don't know uh she has a she shed that she works out of i'm not kidding you i forgive her for saying that because it was a couple years ago i don't think it was quite as overdone but um i'm sure faith has the the newest and best technology because she is a professional at this stuff

and cares. I only care to the point that I have these headphones on my ears but the top part the plastic part that sits on my head is just levitating way above my hair and it means that the headphones are constantly trying to sproing off of my head because every time I move they want to fall backwards or forwards or do something. I'm not wearing them properly but I just need to explain that to the listeners if they hear them shifting around or if something is going wrong with that. Anyway Here's the part about my neighbors thinking I'm crazy. If I were to shake out the excess bald spot powder inside the house, in the bathroom, it would be a disaster. It would just be everywhere, and I would be constantly cleaning it off.

I think I know where you're going with this.

So I have – well, it's – I have the world's tiniest balcony. I have basically a balcony that can fit exactly one folding chair on it. I actually think that was just one of those random things where somehow the design of this building, like from an architectural standpoint, it just they needed to have some notch in the in the wall of the building. And so they thought, well, we got that notch. We might as well put a door to it for all 22 floors and let people go out there. But I mean, it's like you can't fit anything there. You I mean, you have to step back into the apartment to change your mind. Got that one from Mary, too.

does that mean i don't know why i'm getting into like all these technical details of shit and ruining your story but out of curiosity does that mean that not all the apartments have the balcony if it's just this one notch is it because you have a apartment that abuts it it's there's different

kinds of balconies for different units so this building is very pointy at the end it's a brownish area with points and at either pointy end there are larger balconies but they're associated with very small trapezoidal floor plans like i looked at one of those and it was like i was like i like that the balcony is a little bigger but the actual interior of the of the apartment is so crazy because it's like it's basically the like scrapple of this building again it was like we have about 120 square feet at the end of this point and we don't really know what to do with it could we could we try to convince people to rent this for fifteen hundred dollars a month that's so weird

so this was this a renovate this is a building that was something else at one point then turned

into apartments no it was built for this and in fact they proudly have a plaque in the lobby that says this was like the architectural magazine design of the year building at some point all right it's just kind of funky and so anyway what what i have in my particular unit is an extremely tiny balcony that once a day if it's a day that i'm going to do some kind of tv thing or i don't know just filming myself in any way or just being seen by anybody um i step out on that balcony i lean over and i shake my head like a madman and you make and you make it snow black snow down whoever's below you i mean thankfully it's so this stuff is so fine that i hope anyway that it's not doing that although i don't know a lot of times it just blows back into my body which kind of is maybe defeats the purpose or it blows back into the um like almost like i have to shut the door back into my apartment because there's a vacuum that's created and it will just blow the hair powder back into the apartment which defeats the entire purpose but anyway about once a day i go out on that balcony and do like a whole thing where i shake my head and i run my hands through my hair and then i step back and then that's it and i just step back in the apartment and lock the door and there are you know people there are lots of buildings around here there must be somebody who's working from home who just thinks well that's i guess something that guy has to do to get right like there's no way they can understand what it is i'm doing and they must just think i step onto the balcony once a day and just shake my head just to feel all right just to feel

something i picture it i picture like the the angle from somebody who might be looking at the building kind of like your your profile like suddenly your head just kind of juts out and starts shaking like at first when i started laughing i thought you were sticking your head out the window i didn't know you had this balcony and i was just picturing your head like going out

the window and shaking it's funny because these windows are you can't really get them they're very long and they open but they only open out maybe a foot yeah so yeah and i think that's probably for safety and other reasons but i'm actually very lucky that i have this silly little balcony because if i didn't that's what exactly what i would be doing andrew i'd be trying to stick my head out of one of these windows and i'm probably getting stuck and that's probably how i would die they would just find me weeks later with my head stuck in the window uh like a little kid whose head get stuck when they put it through the banister? You know, I remember that feeling we had a banister. I remember that panicky feeling of one time getting it in there and then feeling like, oh, no, I can't get it out.

This is the you're like, I got my head in here. So that means it should be possible to pull out. The good news, though, Andrew, is when they find my lifeless body with my head stuck out the window, my hair will look immaculate. And that's what matters.

I don't want to die in the toilet. I've been thinking about that since I was a kid. Maybe I saw it as a joke Because I think it's kind of a cliche joke Or something

Maybe that was it

Ever since I was a kid I've always thought I just don't want them to find me on the toilet

I would say the chances are probably 80-20 that I die on the toilet Because that's where I spend so much time

I mean it's either going to be

Sitting here podcasting or on the toilet Or on the balcony Shaking my topic out But in terms of places I spend the most time, although I've noticed that I spend less time in the bathroom because I live alone now, and it isn't like I was hiding from Carrie, but I do think there's something I'm sure everyone in a long relationship can kind of sort of identify with this. There is that sort of moment of being in the bathroom where you're just kind of in your own space and time, and it's gross, but maybe you have your phone in there with you. And I don't know, I used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, but since it's just me here, I found that I don't because I can just whatever I would have been doing in the bathroom as far as sort of, you know, looking at tick tock or what have you. I can just go sit on the couch and do that.

Yeah. And I think maybe I'm going to die on the couch. Yeah. I feel like same thing with me and the car since pandemic. And we've talked about this before, too. Like, I'm not making a specific effort to spend time in the car. And I'm not even talking moving. I mean, and I mentioned this to you months ago, but like about mid pandemic, I found myself in this habit of like, I get in the car before I start it, I look at my phone for a while, maybe even sit there for five minutes, then I start the car, then I go to where I'm going, and I stop. And before I get out of the car, I look at my phone for five minutes. That was all new behavior. I wasn't constantly just like sitting in my car. And I realized it's because I have nowhere to go. And I'm just spending all of my time at the house. And I never consciously said, I need to get out of the house, I'm going to go in the car and read my phone for a while. But like those habits just change. Like you just you steal these little moments of alone time without even kind of realizing that you're doing it and certainly not actively trying to avoid your partner.

Right. Yeah. A lot of stuff has shifted around like that, I guess. Although I find that I'm rarely driving here in Portland. Everything is walkable, which is kind of new for me. Yeah, there's this amazing, like, really sort of high-end, I guess, that makes it sound fancy. It's just a really well-designed food store near me. And basically what they sell are really great olive oils and wine and, like, sort of all of the ingredients that go into things but maybe not the thing itself. And so if you go to their website, what they have are a bunch of recipes for, like, really yummy stuff. And then you click on the recipe And then they show you all the things From their store so it'll be like a cucumber Rice salad and you Click on the recipe and then it just shows you here's all The stuff you need for this recipe And here's how you make it and there's a bunch of Photos and then it just automatically If you click buy the stuff it'll just Line up all the stuff from that store that you need To make it then you gotta go buy like the cucumbers At a regular grocery store So I walked over there last night And got some yummy fixings And a bottle of wine it was like super fun i like being uh you know in a walkable neighborhood again um it's been a while i mean i would walk a lot in bellingham but i couldn't really walk to you know stuff like stuff that i needed so yeah a kind of cool thing here in portland yeah you know me that's the that's huge

on my list of like especially like even even our grocery store is less than a mile away so i've even um and of course we have a whole foods practically across the street but that's not where i do most of my grocery shopping but having a grocery store and walking distance is just so great i've tried to make it the first time that happened was in our first apartment in seattle and ever since then i've tried to make it a priority um it's such it's such a good feeling and then also like everything that goes along with that kind of neighborhood i um have a feeling in my bones that it's about time to go to break but can i get one thing off my bones are not wrong i want to just get one thing off my chest because this is not a conversation starter it's just a corrector of the recorder um yesterday i was trying to remember the name of a town actually two towns right on the Nevada Utah border that we stayed in oh yeah Genevieve and I visited the salt flats and we stayed in a little town that was literally right on the Utah border in Utah and I said as soon as you cross over to Nevada that little town had about five casinos I think and one of those neon cowboys and it had like it was like a gambling town and you wondered if I was talking about jackpot and I said

said yes because that rang a bell but no I am talking ladies and gentlemen oh and by the way thank you to listener Sarah who was yelling at her phone and then let me know this Sarah is totally right I was staying in Wendover Utah and when you cross the border you're in West Wendover and that is where the little gambling town is West Wendover Nevada West Wendover is that is Wendover

Is that like to wend over, like as you're on your way, as you're wending your way?

Maybe. I could certainly see that as being a – yeah, because you could wend your way right over the border. At one point, we were waiting for – we had this really long line for a taco truck by our hotel. This isn't like a fancy area, but we were like, this is a very long line for this taco truck. It must be amazing. And they also had, like, they had, like, tongue and all the, like, more traditional, but to me, like, slightly more exotic. Yeah, exactly. And I got to say, it was for such a long line of people who seemed to, like, kind of know from burritos, it was a not a very good burrito. But, like, I believe I was standing almost literally on the state line while we were waiting for that burrito.

So I don't want to make you feel bad, but Jackpot and Wendover sound really different.

Yeah jackpot came up because I mean we either Passed through it or we saw signs for it so when I'm talking about a gambling town and you're like Is that jackpot I'm like oh yeah that sounds Right yeah yeah that was all But like you know Wendover is you know what maybe five Casinos or something but all jammed

Together I think people From I think the reason I said jackpot Was because people in Portland At least some people one person One time I think they like to drive To jackpot because I want to say it's like i'm gonna give listener sarah another reason to throw her phone but my sense is that it's sort of the closest like nevada thing you can do from here well that's that's why i'm a

little bit confused here too is because yeah and i'm wondering if our friend was confused because genevieve sent out some sort of uh group text or to some to somebody when we were in um wendover and our i'll just say i'll call her out our friend anita i believe it was her who said oh yeah my Brother and his friends go there Because you can drive there And they go there once a year Or something to gamble and I was just Like that does not seem right I wonder if she's Confusing jackpot with West Wendover because they're not that far away But it's like why would you drive two hours Further to go to a lesser Place yeah and I'm looking at

It on the map and it's just it's south Of like Twin Falls it's in the northeast Corner of Nevada Which is a further drive Than you would have to make I'm presuming that the northwest corner of Nevada Also has some place where you can Fritter away your money If you so desire The whole state of Nevada Is I think pretty There's Pahrump There's another city that I'm forgetting That you hit Kind of right when you get across the border Coming from LA Jackpot does seem geographically Like a weird place to go if you're coming from like seattle or even portland because you could get somewhere closer uh and uh and and also jackpot looks like it has maybe one casino called well there's two there's cactus

peats and the pony express because that's jackpot or west wendover that's jackpot oh okay because now i'm now i'm confused i thought you were saying that uh jackpot seemed more like a gambling

destination than no it seemed it seemed well i i've i've never been there i've just heard its name it sounds intriguing to me but when i looked at where it actually is on a map it's kind of it's sort of farther away from the northwest that is to say oregon and washington than other places in nevada that you could probably drive to it also appears to be close to something called ida vada which is in idaho but on the border they love doing that down there that's like orida the orida potato company which for most of my life i didn't realize that orida referred to it being on the Oregon-Idaho border?

When I hear Ida-Vada, I just think strict gun control. I just assume that that is a place that has very strict gun laws.

Ida-Vada is a portmanteau of Idaho and Nevada. It's a historical locale in Twin Falls County, Idaho, and it's home to the Ida-Vada volcanics formation of Silicic Rocks. The nearest major highway is Route 93, and the nearest established settlement is Jackpot, Nevada.

Interesting. Yeah, we stayed in Twin Falls, too, so that would be why we went through Jackpot.

There's a great, I think there's a great Built to Spill song where they mention Twin Falls, Idaho. Maybe we can go out with that. Sure. Maybe we can take a break because we're 35 minutes into the show and we haven't done that yet. But when we come back, I want to tell you what happened when some Oregon health care workers were stuck with a bunch of vaccine that was going to go bad in a snowstorm.

and the most Australian thing that an Australian man could ever do, coming up in a moment here on TVTL. Let's thank some donors of the day. Just looking at the list. Three of them are in Idaho. Oh, my gosh. That's just weird. I know you don't believe in, you know, the supernatural, Andrew, but when that kind of thing happens, when we mention Itavada, Idaho, and then three of the donors are from there, I mean, what else can you take away from that?

I feel like now I besmirched their name with my gun control joke, which didn't even land.

Rachel and Matt Lendway are actually in Westminster, Colorado.

Oh, that used to be called New Itavada, by the way.

Jessica Pinter Jessica Pinter Cleveland, Ohio Also known as Old Itavada

Jessica Pinter is a Close friend of mine From high school One of my high school buds

And now Jessica Pinter Is donating to the program

I know I have to send Jessica a text This Andrew is

This is why it's It's great that you're Such a kind And thoughtful person None of my friends donate

No that most of your friends are suing you, I believe.

Well, not if I don't turn the fax machine on. Thank God you're on good terms with people because about half of the names we read on here, you're like, oh, I know that person from New Hampshire. And they made a quiz for us. Or I know the Jessica Pinter from Cleveland, Ohio. Thanks, Jessica. Kelly Raver is in Bellevue, Washington. Tim Mackey is in Tacoma, Washington. Thank you, Tim, for supporting the show. Pachetta Pertosi is in Willoughby, New South Wales. Now, Pachetta and I, we are friends, old friends. We go all the way back to my days in Willoughby, New South Wales.

We never got into New South Wales, did we?

I don't. Is that near Itavada? I think so. Is that on the border of Jackpot? I believe. And then K.J. Williams is in Brunswick, Maine. KJ, Pachetta, Tim, Kelly, Jessica, and Rachel, and Matt Thank you so much for your donations We wouldn't be here without you

Hello and welcome to Top Story

Alright, our top story today Some healthcare workers A guy named Michael Weber and his team of coronavirus vaccinators were heading back to Grants Pass, Oregon, to give out their last doses of the vaccine on Tuesday when traffic suddenly came to a halt. By the way, this was an article from The Washington Post, Andrea Salcedo writing. There was a car accident and the highway was covered in snow. So nobody was going to be going anywhere. It would be hours before the traffic could actually get moving again. And this guy realized that they had six Moderna vaccine doses that were going to expire while they were sitting there stuck in the snow behind this traffic accident. I guess once the vaccine is out of the sort of – once it's out of its super cold storage device, you're on a ticking clock. And so they basically had the idea to go knocking on doors or windows, I should say, of the other cars stuck in this traffic and offering them a dose of the vaccine.

This is a fascinating story.

So the crazy part of the story to me is that it took them 45 minutes to find six people who would agree to have the vaccine.

Now, let's talk about this for a second, because this to me is the heart of the story. You know, the article, you know, makes a point of saying and the people in the article make a point of saying it was hard to find takers because, you know, there's a lot of vaccine skeptics in this part of the state. So boo on that. That sucks. However, I spent a lot of time thinking, like, what is my move if I'm sitting in traffic and a stranger comes up with a needle and says, hey, I'll poke you and give you the vaccine?

That's exactly what I wrote that down on the story for myself. Would you take this under these circumstances, Andrew?

Now, there are a lot. So I'm reading this and they get to that part of the story. Like, honestly, though, just like some person is just like, hey, got this vaccine. It's about to expire. We got some time. We're in traffic. You want it? You're just like, I'm going to roll up my window and turn on my windshield wipers. Get away from my car. I mean, that sort of seems like a proper reaction. But then they get into more detail about, like, what the scene is. And it sounds like, not to take the fun out of that question, but it sounds like there was an ambulance there because they were traveling with an ambulance. And maybe they weren't in the ambulance itself, but, like, it was part of their crew. part of their fleet um and it sounds like you know there were several of these workers and one of them was uh toting around a bin to throw away the old needles in and somebody else was there with an umbrella and so my guess is while this is a definitely an interesting scene i mean it really sounds like these are the stories that you would think you would hear about from like the the the 1908 pandemic right like it's just like these stories are just like they're so out of time i can't believe that this is how this is happening in 2021 but uh putting all of that aside for a moment like i guess if i'm sitting in my car and i see this group of people and there's an ambulance nearby and they they are exuding a certain professional confidence maybe maybe i could be swayed but yeah i mean generally speaking i guess we probably shouldn't just be taking

needle shots from strangers i yeah you know i'm obviously very pro-vaccine uh in fact i've had round one yeah when is round two by the way i want to ask you that february 6th is the schedule although i don't even know if they're gonna have it now they keep running out so who knows i may just be that would be very me too to just spend the rest of my life with half of the vaccine in me yeah right no like that thorn that's stuck in my knuckle from trying to get a wiffle ball and of a tree when i was like 14 um but i'm very pro vaccine obviously and i'm also a very just sort of it'll probably be fine kind of person so i'm with you andrew right when i first read it i was like because the quote from one of the people who was working on this said we were a little nervous because not a lot of people in this part of the state are eager to get the vaccine at this point in time by the way i was having that conversation when i was having some dinner in houston where i was uh you know during the holiday break doing tv story i was having a little dinner in a restaurant and struck up a conversation with the server and he basically said oh yeah i'm not getting the vaccine and i said uh how do you like not having polio how's that going for you did you say that i was yeah i did i mean i was like i i i did it was shocking to me to talk to a seemingly normal adult human who was saying flat out i'm just not going to get the vaccine like i just i was so agog that i just kind of was like you know the reason you don't

have smallpox right like and was it's vaccines was it surprising to you because this isn't somebody who maybe would fit your definition of somebody who might like seem like a maga head or an older person right who's like deep into some sort of subculture conspiracy stuff this is just like kind of i'm getting the impression just like kind of a a younger person who you would think might

share your values more yeah i mean he was a guy about maybe a little younger than me maybe late 30s he was just wearing like an outfit you would wear as a server and just like a regular sort of you know american style restaurant um and so maybe that was he was decontextualized like if i would run into him on the street maybe he would had a punisher hat on or you know some i mean he didn't and he wasn't a jerk about it and he kind of he probably just didn't want to lose his tip which is maybe not how that should work you know you want to threaten people's livelihood because of their beliefs but he sort of he sort of stood down which i guess was good and he said well i just don't he goes it's fine for other people i just don't want to i don't want to get it myself and then he then he backed down to i don't want to be the first one to get it no yeah so then eventually it was like okay i will get it but i don't want to be the first next thing you know the final thing

he said was he was rolling up his sleeve saying yes luke just put it in the arm he what he finally

said was I have six doses of Moderna vaccine in the back room and it's going to go bad I've actually been storing it right above the fryer so it's very warm can I please give it can we take it together no but anyway I'm I'm pro vaccine obviously and I am a pretty trusting person and yet I kind of went on the same mental journey Andrew which was how many people would there need to be what sort of lanyard would they need to have etc etc like if it's one person who looks very official and is very friendly do i take it probably not if it's one person yeah you know if it's two people it's on the line if it's three i'm definitely doing it But one person with a needle and a story is not going to probably be something that I go for.

Okay, so one person, no, two people, probably not. Three people, put it in the.

arm let me put it let me ask you this three people can we go on a date three juggalos five

five people this isn't working three juggalos i would need nine juggalos i would need i would need a hatchet of juggalos to convince me peace and love to our juggalo fans sure it's going to take more juggalos than just like medical what i perceive to be non-juggalo medical professionals three non-Juggalo medical professionals or 27 Juggalos that seem like they kind of have their shit together.

I don't know why, but I think three non-Juggalo medical professionals is the show title today.

But yeah, like, you know, you and I, Andrew, often talk about how uncomfortable it is or was for us back in our radio days of trying to go get audio tape from strangers. Like, you're standing in a parking lot. I have a very vivid memory of being in Virginia, doing a story about, I think it was like maybe the, oh, Phooey, who was the guy that was running for Senate, George, he was running for Senate, George Allen, I think, he was an ex-NFL football player, but I think he was also implicated in doing something that was racist and not okay, some kind of stunt he pulled involving A mailbox have only The blurriest of details in my brain but anyway I remember standing in the parking lot of a Home Depot Trying to sort of talk to Average Virginians About how they felt About George Allen's behavior or possible Behavior and just getting Shot down so Hard by people who were just like get I think a Home Depot parking lot was a Bad place because there's also a certain amount of Panhandling that sometimes happens there Or people looking for day Labor day work so maybe i picked the wrong place but anyway that was traumatic i'm still traumatized from that i can't imagine walking up to a car outside of grants pass oregon knocking on the window and going crazy story but i've got some moderna vaccine and a and a insane clown posse cd that we can play

while we're doing the procedure by the way i did not know or maybe i just did not remember this george allen story this is terrible did i get any of the yeah i mean i don't know how much i want to talk about it but yeah he was accused of using uh racial epithets early in uh earlier in life and they came back to haunt him during the um during his campaign but then also it says what well i'll just say this but i think kind of trigger warning here this is terrible the article um from cbs at the time um said we're allowed to use cbs related stuff on the show because of your connections there uh he said alan not only use the n-word frequently but also once stuffed a severed deer head into a black family's mailbox.

And I believe he ended up losing that election because back then, being a white supremacist wasn't considered a pro. It wasn't the kind of thing that you could basically run on and get

elected. I was really hoping not to. Yeah, I wonder if I should have even read that. That puts me in a bad mood. Do you have any more jokes

from Maddie? Hold on. Let me text her. She's on Hock Squad. Actually, you should. We need you to save the show.

Well, it sounds like maybe they dip in sometimes and listen, But will you please tell her how much I enjoyed that beep, beep, vroom, vroom joke? That was great.

I will. My guess is my sister Hannah might hear this because she has become a pretty regular listener during these days. She's also a real P1 for Spotless Andrew.

We've played a voicemail from her already.

Yeah. Thank God I'm on good terms with at least my sister. I started the show by saying Or I did the donors of the day And mentioned that none of my friends donate But at least my sister Hannah Is definitely giving us the clicks And the L's and the RT's Etc This story out of Australia Just seemed pretty on brand For that country A 44 year old man was in Queensland At a place called Lake Placid When he was attacked by a saltwater crocodile He was taken to the hospital with multiple minor lacerations. Officials say the man was lucky to escape without more serious injuries. The critical care paramedic said the man was remarkably calm when emergency responders arrived at the scene. What he said to us was that a crocodile had bitten his head. And in an effort to remove the jaws of the crocodile, he put his hands in to try to prise the jaws apart. In the process of trying to remove his hands, The jaws snapped shut on his forefinger So his hand was injured Because he had to pry the crocodile's jaws apart To get his head out The McSweeney Who is the first responder in this case Paul McSweeney Oh I see they say McSweeney

Mr. Sweeney, excuse me, he said the following the attack, the man swam a considerable distance back to shore and pulled himself onto the bank. Well, first of all, can you imagine how terrifying that swim back to shore was like you? A crocodile bites your frigging head. You you pry its jaws off of I guess you prize its jaws off of your head. The jaws snap shut on your hand. Then you've got to swim Bleeding back to shore I mean and then you drag yourself up on the banks Which by the way wouldn't even feel safe Because if we know anything about those nature films It's the crocodiles coming up onto the banks And grabbing wildebeest And dragging them back into the water The The guy who has not been publicly Named said he's been Swimming in this lake three times a week For about eight years And he said Quote he would not be surprised if he ventured into those waters again for further exercise andrew i'm looking because he's not writing off lake placid for his swimming activities i was going to ask before like

i was trying to picture this person like was he really just swimming in lake placid or is this somebody who like because i i've been trying to figure out like is there any situation in which my head might find itself in the jaws of a crocodile and i just think that i'm the type a person who would avoid that situation at all costs but then i was thinking like well maybe this guy does avoid that situation by at all costs well he lives in australia so right there he's not avoiding that situation at all costs right but like maybe this is i'm actually looking up this lake on google maps right now because i'm trying to figure out like was he is in your right evada yes it you know like is it did he know that he was swimming in some place that is like croc infested waters and he was kind of being you know a daring guy and and you know flicking his nose at danger and nature or was this really a shock and i still don't have an answer to that

whoever named it lake no crocodiles i think that's a misleading name yeah but like i mean i don't want to generalize but i would never swim in any water in australia yeah including

swimming pools what about the ocean off of australia hell no great white sharks my friend

why do you think the golfer greg norman's nickname although maybe he's from south africa actually I don't remember where he's from I would not I mean like they have beautiful beaches in Australia Maybe I would dip my toe in the water but I would be scared The whole time and I'll tell you a lake Where you I mean You would have to know that there were crocs In that lake I mean there has to be a sign Right There is now and this guy What's that there should be now at least Yeah and this guy Swims in that lake Three times a week I mean I just there was somebody released a caiman i think it was a couple of little caiman into green lake when i was a kid what is that it's a teeny tiny cute baby you know alligator that i think maybe maxes out at like three feet or something somebody had i think it was two caiman and they um they put them in green lake and it was a huge thing in fact it's almost it it almost could be a screenplay because everybody freaked out for the period of about one month when i was a kid because of what were reported to be alligators in green lake and then eventually they came and caught them and it was on the news but i remember being a kid because i would swim in green lake almost every day until i heard there was alligators andrew right and then i stopped for a while this the idea that this guy could go back into that lake and swim around and be relaxed and not at all times be expecting a crocodile to bite him is just, that's a, that is somebody who is built different.

Yes, you might say he's Ford tough. By the way, I found an article from UPI from 1986 just in case. You tell a lot of stories on this show, Luke, and I know I've been getting some emails from listeners just saying. Hey, you ask a lot of questions. Hey, does Luke make these stories up for our entertainment? And I will tell you that there is an article from June 6, 1986. Alligator like reptiles found in lake this is from upi skeptics scoffed it reports that alligators were swimming around in green lake but a state wildlife official got to the bottom of the mystery when he discovered two caimans on the shore i told you i told you shouted lynn olsen who thought she had spotted an unusual creature slithering into the lake now that's how you should react to that

not can i go swim in lake crocodile again you should be yelling see those are alligators this

is actually really well written that's a that's a good that's a good open um yeah so 1986 you were

in what uh fourth grade fifth grade i would have been um 10 years old i mean doesn't that kind of feel maybe this will be my maybe this is my ticket out of this podcasting life It feels like some kind of a screenplay starring Macaulay Culkin.

Oh, sure. Like, not now, Macaulay Culkin.

Not like DJ Raver, whatever current thing Macaulay Culkin is up to. But you know what I mean? Almost like My Girl or something. A sort of just a kid, a drama about a particular summer in the life of a couple of kids who are out to, you know, I don't know, catch the alligators that they have heard are in their local lake or something.

I could see a Kieran Culkin, though, too. Sure. I mean, depending on the time a little bit later.

I'm going to need you to whisper. Have you and Genevieve discussed those V-dub ads that feature Kieran Culkin?

You know, I don't think so because if I've seen them, I didn't. Oh, oh, oh.

Where Paul Giamatti is an uptight accountant who keeps thinking that his client is blowing a bunch of money, but he's just buying a V-dub.

Yes. My problem with those commercials is, like, I think that they're brilliant commercials that I don't fully get because I don't watch either one of those shows that they're like, what are the two shows?

succession and i don't know what the other oh oh billions i think billions yeah and so in a certain

way i believe they're both kind of nods to their respective i think i could be wrong but i believe that they're both nods to their respective characters from two different franchises but then brought together in this world weird world which is interesting i i like those commercials something about them i feel like i just did this at the beginning of the show something about them doesn't quite hang together like what people's you know like when he goes into i'm sorry i'm doing this but when he goes into the whisper I don't want Genevieve mad at me when Giamatti goes into the um the hotel lobby and says to the woman behind the desk I'm looking for my client and she says oh I'm so sorry I'm like why why does she have vested interest in this like there's just some things that don't quite hang together but I think it might be because I'm not fully in

on the joke right I actually forgot about the billions thing and I was like I think that this The Kieran Culkin thing has to be kind of a nod to Succession, but I thought that they had just written some kind of random anxious character for Giamatti to play. And, of course, I mean, Giamatti is great in the ads because he's Paul Giamatti. I assume that he will be nominated for an Academy Award for the ads. But I love nothing more than a frustrated Paul Giamatti.

Yes. Did I tell you that I have this weird, I don't know if it's a fantasy or a made-up memory or just a flight of fancy. I don't even know how to describe this weird obsession I have with Paul Giamatti saying, I really need a win right now, which so far as I can tell is not a line that he's ever said in any movie. Yet, whenever I think of him, I just picture a character of Paul Giamatti saying, I really need a win right now. And, like, I feel like I need to get him on Cameo just to record that five-second phrase for me or something.

Does anybody know Paul Giamatti? Whenever our listeners know Paul Giamatti and can they get him to say that? I feel like I could hear his character from Sideways saying that. Right, yes. I feel like I could hear his Harvey Picard character. Right. Like, you're right. He's always he's always a guy who's kind of down to his sort of last little bit of dignity.

And he really needs a win. You and I saw a great like in the theater when we were kind of more new friends. We didn't know each other all that well. You, me and our dates went to see a movie with him where he played a wrestling coach. It was by the same person who did the station agent movie, I believe. Does that ring any bells to you?

It rings a faint bell. And, yeah, I forget the details, but I remember him, of course, being really good in that. And I'm sure that at that time or other times on the show, I have mentioned this, so I'm sorry for being repetitive, but you know his dad was once the commissioner of Major League Baseball.

Oh, if you did say that, I'd forgotten.

Bart Giamatti. In fact, I am old enough that I think I was a baseball fan when Bart Giamatti was the commissioner of Major League Baseball.

Oh, I'll look up those dates. Now, by the way, the movie I was trying to think of is called Win Win. I want to watch that again. I remember really liking it, but I haven't seen it since. And that was 2011. So what a sleeper.

Yeah, I feel like that movie. Who else is in it?

Let me take a look here. I like having you read. No, I'm your guy on the computer, as they say in Spider-Man. Paul Giamatti, Alex Schaefer, isn't my boss's name Alex Schaefer? This must be a different Alex Schaefer.

For the next two weeks.

Amy Ryan.

Oh, Amy Ryan. I haven't even given my faxes.

Oh, right.

Amy Ryan from The Wire and other things, right? Yes.

Doesn't she play a police officer in The Wire, I think? Yes. I could be wrong about that. Jeffrey Tambor was in it. I don't remember that at all. And it's basically like Paul Giamatti

He's like a high school wrestler Who kind of goes and loses it And I feel like It was shot a little bit in the style of Election It had that kind of vibe to it

Because it was high school

High school and just sort of the way the character Characters are portrayed, and I remember really loving that movie, and I feel like you and me and Genevieve and Vanessa may have been the only people that saw that film. Yeah, maybe. I heard zero chatter about Win-Win after we saw that movie.

I really want to watch it again. What I'm going to do is I'm going to go to our video rental store, Scarecrow Video, and I'm going to go up to the window that they have now, and I'm going to go, I really need a Win-Win here. Good joke I probably shouldn't say this because I don't want to ruin anybody's Blur's Day message, but there was a moment yesterday afternoon, I'm going to say maybe around 2 o'clock my time, where I remembered that today is Blur's Days, and I opened up the old Blur's Day cupboard, and there was only one Blur's Day knocking around in there, and I thought, that's going to be so funny tomorrow. I'm going to make a big deal about having to gear up for a long Blur's Day segment. Then I was just going to read one and say I'm out. And it was going to be funny. But then two other people sent in their Blur's Days after that. So they essentially ruined the joke for me. And so what I'm going to do now is I'm going to ask everybody.

Is this the sound of you opening the Blur's Day cupboard when there's only one Blur's Day in there?

It's David. What are you doing? What are you doing in there? So next week, what I'm going to do is...

Have you been down there the whole time?

I want everybody to listen to me here. Just send me one Blur's Day for next week, okay? Is that how that works? Yes, that's exactly how it works. I'm not going to read these in order in which they came so that nobody feels bad. Like, I think that you ruined the Blur's Day segment. Does that make sense? These are all special Blur's Days. They're randomized in order, and I love them all.

Although, I find it to be a little bit disconcerting that even if it's a small number of Blur's this week that you're not sending them to me i feel like this is part of basically slowly making me obsolete within the show is that what the faxing is about uh i dude i faxed you the

blurs days yesterday right before right before midnight because that's actually when the cheapest faxing rates are um exactly nights and weekends yeah it's not but i specifically said i needed

it by cob i know i thought you meant and then you sent it to me at 11 o'clock at night

So that's why I didn't get it Alright, here we go Blurs away Lindsay in Nashville says Please wish a very happy belated Blurs Day to Morgan in Nashville Although it has been a very weird year I haven't seen as much of her as I would like We are so, so, so happy that she's back from California I treasure her friendship and can't wait for the next 40 years together That's awesome That's from Lindsay to Morgan Both in Nashville Got away from that weird coast back where you belong Amy says happy Blur's Day to my husband Chad thanks for making me a 10 definitely an upside of this last year has been spending more time at home with you and our pod pets and nerding out over TBTL there are so many feels I want to try and express about how awesome you are but I know our imaginary friends are probably short on time so I'll just say you know the right way to rock and roll that's really sweet we met Amy and Chad at the Oh the Minnesota State Fair Exactly yes you're absolutely right

I remember them it was a delight meeting them And I think it's Adorable that Amy would Figure that we would be short on time As if we have ever once Gotten to the point Or said anything important Like that was a very respectful thing It was as if it was like well I know you guys I know that you guys are busy doing very Important broadcasting so I'll just keep this short It's like Amy have you heard the show?

I actually really do appreciate that. There are some Blurzays that I have to spend a lot of time trying to, like, capture the essence of but edit about halfway down. Like, literally, like, because I have kind of an unsaid sort of limit. It's in the number of lines on my screen. So I actually really do appreciate that and would encourage that kind of behavior. It does remind me of one of the things I was maybe going to tell you at the top of the show. This isn't a great story with a great power out, but today's Thursday. So we had our departmental, you know, meeting at 8 p.m. today. And the majority of the meeting was just the results of some recent survey data about how people are kind of taking in media.

these days like where is radio listening compared to the year before and podcast listening and what devices are people using just all this audience insights stuff and somebody who's i think whose focus is more on developing new shows asked like what do we know about length of podcasts what do people want uh as far as length and the person who the researcher kind of answered the question so we don't really have info on that right now but we can look into it but then a couple of other people brought up like after the meeting was kind of wrapping up some more people said well we really want to you know kind of nail down this how long should a podcast thing be and my butt started clenching really tight during this because I'm like I don't really want to be on this call right now talking about length of podcasts when we haven't turned in anything under 90 minutes so far this week and we're doing it daily like I don't want to know the truth on that so anyway

that's probably that's in the top two things that I'm the most defensive about when it comes to my Kind of I guess My style of broadcasting It's almost a tie for first place One is Being verbose and doing These shows you know sometimes for like up to Three hours and me thinking like I don't like I Actively don't want us to do like a 15 minute Podcast even if that would help us with Downloads because maybe more people just want to A quibby of this But it's A very common piece of feedback I actually we Haven't gotten it from APM amazingly but in lots of other things or lots of other times it's like well that seems long i'm very defensive over that and then i'm also very defensive over the question of do people care about your the boring you know sort of micro moments of your life which i'm constantly talking about how what we do isn't interesting but if a program director was to say nobody cares about the fact that you When Andrew went and saw a movie called Win Win, like I will – my hackles will go up so quickly. Yeah, that person is going to lose-lose.

Well, I will have – Lose-lose-loses. I'll have you know that when it kind of came up a second time – and again, I think it kind of makes sense for the person who is asking the question because this person is more interested in kind of new show development or acquisition or what have you. You know, I don't think that anybody said anything on the call that was like, you know, kind of inappropriate and certainly no shots were fired at us. But what I liked was our boss or maybe at this point our boss's boss or maybe she's our boss's boss's boss now. It's really unclear. I feel like we just keep on adding more layers of management. But I will say that Lily, the person who's in charge of the department, did say, well, listen, you know, I don't think that question of how long a podcast should be is really the right question to be asking, because, first of all, it tends to be the two extremes. People like things either really long or really short But it also just depends on the podcast And what the podcast is doing and what the personality of the podcast is Because you're just not going to get a good answer Like this is how long a podcast should be Maybe if you're interested Talk to the audiences of specific podcasts And ask them if they like the length of the podcast Like I might have an opinion about the length of GabFest Political GabFest on Slate That's my regular thing But I liked the way that she was very much like well, we can't just be, like, creating podcasts based on how long a podcast should be. So I was very happy with that answer.

Oh, that's a good answer. It's a great answer. I think I should start zooming into those meetings. By the way, for anybody who was, you know, listening to yesterday's show and was curious, the meeting we ended up having that I spent half of yesterday's show talking about and how I was like, why do we have to zoom into it? It was a very productive meeting that led to a lot of really good stuff.

Yeah, and I will even say this. I think we're allowed to say this. This isn't what the meeting was supposed to be about, but it kind of got our creative juices flowing, and it led to a meeting between you and me afterwards already, here it is, six months away, already talking about some things that could shape up for the TB Telephone this year that I'm legit excited about. I hope that we can develop these further. That's all I'll say. That's just a little tease. Things are in the works maybe. Yeah. Not too much. Did I say too much? You want me to cut that out? You seem uncomfortable

No, I think the listeners will be happy to know That we're doing some planning ahead Where you heard my brain go was How Basically, how much because of my Just general dealing with things at the last moment How sad it is to me That How much What I was reflecting on is how much happier you would be If you worked with someone who actually just got crap done In a timely fashion Because you were stoked yesterday that we were actually doing some planning ahead.

Oh, for the...

Yeah, like I could hear you were very excited and part of it was because I think we have a fun idea and part of it was because I think half of your work life is just figuring out at what point do I need to remind Luke that we should have this conversation about this, that, or the other thing. So I'm glad that we're able to work ahead on this a little bit.

little bit i really am that's not where my brain necessarily goes if anything i think i was a little bit i i was got off the phone with you yesterday i'm like oh yeah okay this is cool we got some some ideas we can now like kind of figure out if they'll work out and develop a little bit it's also really hard as anybody can say like it's really hard to plan for something six months from now like we don't know what the world's going to look like um but i actually my takeaway from it was like you know you and i were both i think dragging our feet going into this meeting i say a little bit because we're like i don't know what's going to be placed on us like what you It was a meeting with people we don't know that well. And then it's a great meeting, and then it leads to a good conversation between you and I, and then the creative juices are flowing. And then I'm like, why do I always do this? Why do I always assume the worst? Or why am I reluctant to have somebody tell me to do something? You know, like I sort of feel like – I think that you and I – and I think I take this from you, so maybe I can dunk on you in this way. Maybe I can insult you in this way. maybe it is because of this protective nature that we both have of TBTL because it was an entity before APM, and now we work with APM, but you and I still feel like we need to be very protective of our audience and our listeners who we have a special relationship with. And so I think maybe it comes from that. I don't think it's just laziness on my part, but after the meetings yesterday, I was like, oh, this is good, something to work on. Let's do this. Let's not just get in this rut of just kind of doing the show every day.

No, it was very productive, and I even combed my hair and put ball powder in for the Zoom. I saw black powder all over the place. This is just radiating off of my head like a halo.

Like a Peanuts character. By the way, this is our short Blur's days, by the way. We still haven't gotten through them. Wait. There's still Blur's days to be blurted? There were only three Blur's days. This should have been the shortest Blur's day ever. But instead, I'm taking this time to tell you about work meetings over the sound of Eric Weirheim, or Tim Heidegger, really. Okay, speaking of Eric's, this is from Eric in Culver City, who says, I want to send a Blur's Day shout-out to myself. I lucked out that my Blur's Day actually falls on a Thursday this year. And not only that, but I'm celebrating by having a virtual listening party for Thursday's episode. Oh, my God. A bunch of people are going to sit around and listen to me tell you about what happened in a work meeting that just ended

I don't think any of them will have made it to this point in the show Eric, I'm sorry that we buried your Blur's Day Deep, deep, deep in the back of the show

Anyway, Eric says, shout out to my confused friends Including, this is, speaking of confusing, this is confusing to me So Eric's going to get a bunch of people together They don't necessarily know TVTL, they're going to be listening to this Eric says, so shout outs to my confused friends, including my TVTL daddy, Alex, sadly not a 10 himself. So how does Alex become Eric's TVTL daddy if he doesn't listen to TVTL?

Maybe he's a spotless head. Yeah. Maybe he's after these messages person or something. I don't know.

Or maybe he was a TVTL listener and then dropped off the roles.

Well, that's going to keep me up tonight.

I don't like the sound of that at all. Alex, Alex, if you're listening as part of Eric's listening party here, can you explain yourself? Can you let me know why you stopped listening to TBTL? Because you're killing us, Smalls.

And also, I want to apologize to everyone who's at Eric's virtual listening party who would like to be almost anywhere else. I mean, I don't mean in that you don't want to be hanging out with your friend Eric, but that you've had to listen to this for the last 74 minutes. It's usually better I guess is what I would say Usually the show is about 15 minutes It's very focused

It's usually about the stonk market It's usually about stonks

We rarely bring up Paul Giamatti

I wish I had said it's usually about the street We gotta start calling Wall Street the street As real as the street That story, I know I said it yesterday

And we need to go, I've gotta go put my powder in Go talk to Bill Oakley. But holy guacamole. That is the only story that anyone is talking about in the world. I guess this is what happens when Donald Trump leaves office is there's a huge news vacuum created.

Yeah. Well, I mean, the power, I mean, I, I have read a bunch of articles now, but I'm just so dumb when it comes to the street, Luke. I just don't know. Like, it's just so confusing. But I do know enough to call it the street. And, you know, the power dynamics and the broader cultural story that is that has cropped up from this is kind of interesting.

Sure. I mean, on Chris's show last night, Chris Hayes' show, he talked about it with a New York Times reporter, and then he was doing his toss, his handoff to Rachel Maddow. Oh, yeah. And Rachel was saying, you know, if you were to write a book about finance, I would totally buy it.

And Chris was like, you're basically saying, you know, I don't know if I know a lot about finance, but I can tell you I would do three hours on this story. And I was like, I was texting both of you. I was like, I am so the same way. Like, I am obsessed with that story, but I'm surprised that it has taken off the way that it has. Yeah.

I'm sorry I didn't respond to your text, by the way. I had a bit of a Minecraft disaster last night. I'm back on that shit. What happened? I hadn't played Minecraft in, I think, almost a year. and then I turned it on the other day.

Was it the Dire Straits reference that had you thinking about it?

I wonder if it was Luke because I don't know why. I just was like, you know what? Maybe I'll sit in my office and play some Minecraft. And I turn it on. It's one of those things where sometimes it just doesn't take. Like sometimes you turn it on after not playing for a really long time and you're just like, it's just too much. I don't feel like getting back into this world. But yesterday it started to feel that way, but then I somehow got sucked in and I my little character had more how can I put this just had more gear and valuable gear than I've ever had in this game before like there's a material that's like various materials you can build stuff out of and diamond is a is a rare one but if you have diamond stuff that's very valuable and it protects you and I was living large I had some very valuable weapons and gear and I'm down in mines and I'm spelunking and I'm feeling myself again. I probably played for a couple of hours. And then at one point, I just fell through a hole that I accidentally left in a mine and fell directly into lava and just burned up and all of my stuff just burned up. What? You died in Minecraft? You can die and then you just respawn. You respawn back at your home base or wherever the last place you slept was, which is, I'm getting into way too much detail. So, but you respawn, but everything that you were carrying, everything that you were wearing everything you were holding is just gone you're starting basically you've actually fell into hot lava i fell into hot lava isn't that a show now isn't there some tv show like hot lava the floor is lava or something yeah something like that so anyway that's that's what was going on with me and you know it's just like you know it's pretty good i have a lot of sorry for your loss i have a lot of loved ones around me and um i feel very supported right now and uh you know i'll probably get back on that horse at some point but like that's a real douche chill I mean I don't even really know what that means I just know Tobias said it one time and it feels like that's it like it's just like when you you haven't played in so long and then you finally kind of crawl back into it and you're like oh my gosh I have all of this stuff wow look at me this is the most powerful I've ever been and then you literally just fall through a hole that it was my fault like I just left a hole in the floor somewhere they don't

just get like they don't just make you smaller like in Mario Brothers like where you get kind of one do over like oh that Goomba got me but I'm just smaller I got to go find another mushroom

That's not how I mean, there are other things, you know, you can I mean, there are ways that you can get hurt and then, you know, you regenerate power. I mean, that happens all the time. But the one thing is, if you fall in lava, like you basically have five seconds to find some water or you're done.

So, I mean, I have to say, though, I respect that that's the consequences of falling in lava. Yeah, I mean, it's I mean, that's the kind of that's the real world. That's that's the world we live in. It's as real as the streets. I'm not trying to, you know, make fun of your loss at this time.

Well, I appreciate it. No, it's just good. I'm learning how to talk about it. It's like a whole different language, but I'm learning.

Do you want me to put you in touch with Nora?

Do you know that?

Wait, have we talked about this?

Talk about being in the hot widow's club. Wait, hold on. Maybe I'm not allowed. You died in hot lava.

Hey. I don't know if I'm allowed to. This isn't insider information, is it? did you know that Nora might is she on the Calm app now or is it something that's going to happen

and I'm not supposed to be saying this I have no idea I know she's on TikTok because I follow her and randomly she will pop up and it shocks me every time she's very adept with the memes she knows how to do it and I'll just be like scrolling endlessly and then suddenly I'll just go hey wait I know that person and it's our friend Nora

McInerney wow and okay well I'll tell you what I can't tell if this is actually something or not and i don't know if i should have said that but um yeah maybe i'll just

cut all this out okay and i think that's going to probably wrap things up like i said i've got i've got bald spots to powder andrew yes important things to do today so uh that's going to do it for today's episode thank you so much everyone for listening uh we're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio and we're going to bring back the hit segment uh friday motivation To get you pumped going into your weekend I don't know how long We'll be able to keep this going Last week we played some tape from the new Detroit Lions coach This week I have another idea But we'll do that tomorrow And I'm sure a whole bunch of other fun stuff So please join us for that Until then, have a great Thursday Stay safe, take care of yourselves, mask up Go Brungles, and please remember No mountain too tall

And good luck to all I touched her thumb She knew it was me Although she couldn't see Unless of course she peaked My mom's good She got me out of Twin Falls, Idaho Before I got too old You know how that goes That's where she still was the summer She turned 17 1983 Three weeks after me Last I heard was she had twins Or maybe it was three

Though I've never seen That don't bother me

Power out.