Muse

Anger is like flatulence, isn't it? Insofar as it's far better to let it out in increments than to let go with one humongous rattle. Oh, well, yes, yeah, inasmuch as losing your temper is about transferring that anger to those closest to you. Well, you're farting in the face of the person you love, aren't you? If you ask the police, they will tell you that most murders are committed by a friend or relative of the victim. They take place at home, in the office, on public transport, in a jacuzzi. Are we still talking about murder? I'll hold my hands up. The last three examples were specifically farting.

TBTL! Hey, welcome to my show, everybody. I know you did pay $100, dollars but here here's 100 dollars back to you i'll tell you another thing once you step inside

this circle the weather never changes it is always 67 degrees with a 40 chance of rain

always for a number of years now work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal gram-eaters.

You're hungry, you're confused, your face is streaked with dry tears, and you don't even remember when you started crying. Let's get to the jokes.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everybody to a Monday edition of TBTL. This right here, this is a show that just might be too beautiful to live. Anytime you can do something that's fun and you like to do it and make money doing it, hey, it's a win-win-win. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

You know, this show is like a dynasty. You hold it and then you hand it off to the next person.

Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high above Portland, Oregon, where the weather has been really something this weekend and in particular this morning.

It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. Always.

It was very cold and snowy over the weekend. We got a lot of snow. It was very unsafe to be driving on the roads. And then this morning, rain came through. So the streets are, if you're like on one of the main, I'm looking at them right now. They're okay. But the side streets are still got some problems. And then the sun is out. It's just an absolutely gorgeous day. But everybody is home because it's a holiday. Oh, yeah. By the way, happy President's Day.

I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away.

And by Happy President's Day, I mean...

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

That's right. A lot of other daily podcasts. They take President's Day off. Not this one, my friends. This is the show where we print a quiz out from the internet about presidential facts and factoids. You know what I've found over the years is that the facts are your friends. And then we read that quiz to each other. Well, in this case, I read it to Andrew. And then when we're done doing that, we say goodbye for the day. That's the TBTL difference, my friends. That's what we're doing here on episode 3,359 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Speaking of, my friend Andrew Walsh, the longest-running co-bro of the show, known for his drawings of tall ships. I have been hearing that he's getting time and a half for being here today. He's got some kind of contract worked out that seems much, much more financially rewarding than mine is.

I blow my nose with $50 bills.

I'm going to try to get to the bottom of that right now when we welcome him to the show from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I'm afraid the only way we're going to have a somewhat listenable podcast today is if I keep Theo on my lap. Theo is if you're a new listener my uncle no my cat my old cat Theo he's on my lap right now because I think if I try to put him anywhere other than my lap he's just going to start yelling at

me and by extension you and the listeners can I ask a question that may drive even a further wedge into your life life partnership relationship with Genevieve I say further because obviously the amount of times we've been talking about commercials that's done some real damage It was a miracle that you made it to Valentine's Day Let's be honest May I ask a question that You have every right to not answer And or cut out of the show later And also every right to whisper the answer to me If you don't want Veeves to hear it Blink twice if you can still hear me

I can still hear you You didn't ask the question yet did you I didn't know if you were going to let me ask the question Oh I see

See, you're waiting for permission to ask the question.

Yes, you can ask it. Okay. So you're working from home on this project called TBTL. And Genevieve, my guess would be, sometimes works from home, sometimes maybe goes to her office? No, almost always works from home. Okay, so you're both working from home. You have a cat that needs attention. One of you works on a project that is into a microphone, and one of you does less of that. Is it just that Theo prefers your lap? How is it that you're on Theo duty during this thing where a cat, caterwalling might be a bit of an issue?

Well, if I ask for Genevieve to step in, she will. But he needs to be, I mean, he chooses to be down here constantly. And so, therefore, if I can get him to fall asleep, like 99% of the, you know, times that we've recorded TVTL in the past several months since he got sick, he's been sleeping in the chair behind me. But I got to get him asleep before the show begins. But that he's just, with every passing day, he more and more will just be my shadow. Genevieve says, here's your shadow. Like, he will not be away from me at any moment. So if we try to put him upstairs, he will be clawing at the door to get out. And she's on meetings and calls with the president of the university. She can't be, like, dealing with a cat trying to break out of her office the whole time.

Meanwhile, for us, it's content.

Yeah, exactly. It actually gives us something to talk about Exactly I did hear that As everybody knows Theo's middle name is Murray And I did learn recently that Genevieve has a colleague Whose cat has a first name of Murray So how many cats named Murray can you think of?

That's pretty much the only two Yeah Anyway that's a dead end So I think the takeaway No well I mean we have Believe me we have plenty of stuff today Was that you putting Theo back on the chair?

That was me making an old man sound as I petted him for a while. I think I got him, maybe got that per engine revving up, and now he's maybe going to, I'm sorry, I'm a little bit out of it, too. I stayed up way too late last night. What a disaster this is. I'm not even supposed to be here today. Happy President's Day. I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away.

Oh, phooey. Well, I guess I was just going to wrap that up. I was saying Ophui because I started to lose my train of thought. I was just going to say it also sounds like you and Theo have a special relationship, that there's just something about the interaction with the two of you where he really feels bonded to you. And so, I mean, that's got to be kind of – not that it's a competition between you and Genevieve, but if it was a competition, you would win. Theo likes you more.

Yes, definitely. Yeah, it is really sweet and not to be overly sentimental about it, but especially since we thought we were losing him a while back. And then he seems to be back to himself, but he is more needy than ever. Like, he and I, there was never any question that he was more bonded to me because he lived with me for, you know, like, the first five years of his life before Vives and I moved in together. And so he always had a special bond to me. I was always clearly his favorite. But now, like, he is almost like a child. He's almost like a child. He just will not be anywhere where I am not until he finally falls asleep. And so, yeah, it is really, really sweet. And sometimes it's a real pain in the ass, too, when you're trying to do things. But I'm trying to just enjoy it because he won't be here forever, Willie. OK, enough of that.

It's a minor miracle that we're even doing the show right now because I am in a small pocket of Portland, Oregon that has power currently.

Oh, yeah.

And that's not a generator in your building, I assume. You know what? I mean, I guess it's possible, but I would be the one apartment they weren't sending power to because of COVID. Yeah, Thomas. So my sister, Sarah, their power's out at their house. And then David from the basement, who also lives down here with his girlfriend. They live in a different part of town, and their power is out. I am the only Burbank in Portland with power currently.

Yeah, I really hope. Because you guys got the snowstorm first, then we got the snowstorm, which what a snowstorm. I don't know if you guys – I mean, I saw the pictures of the traffic. I don't know if it lasted as long, but we were dumped on consistently for, like, over 24 hours or, like, with no pause.

I mean, it's what I've always said on the show, little snow, big snow.

I know. Classic. Classic Burbank line. But then I heard what happened with you guys is the rain came. Of course, it warmed up a little bit, so the rain came, and freezing rain, and that all turned to ice, and now the ice is breaking branches and all that old song. I don't know if that's something in our future, though.

That's the most and that's the most unfun part of the process. I mean, when the snow was what was falling and, you know, we talked about this on the show on Friday, but.

You know, it's very childlike for me. I was like out in the snow this weekend, walking around, had my boots on, was all bundled up. It was just like a fun thing. I know Seattle got like I want to I think the paper said it was the most snow in a single day since like the 1960s or something. So that means including my childhood there where we had, you know, a couple of pretty memorable big snow days. So that was you guys were were breaking records. But anyway, then the snow is fun. But then when it just starts raining, that's no fun to be out. And then when the rain freezes overnight and starts just, like, taking down power lines and trees with it because you all of a sudden got this weight that's just stuck on something where it's not supposed to be, it's like none of the fun part of snow and all of the downsides. So, you know, it was a fun weekend, but now I'm ready for, as you would say, a hard rain, a hard but not frozen rain to sweep the snow off of these streets so that we can get back to, you know, semi-normal life here. The other thing was this was the weekend when restaurants were able to sort of reopen in limited capacity. And I think that was, you know, kind of ended up being sort of a lost cause because everybody just was closed because none of their employees could get to the restaurant.

Yeah, this snow was it was a weird situation where I was almost wishing it had come during the week because while my weeks can be busy, I don't usually have to leave for anything. but this weekend we have the perfect job for a pandemic or a snowstorm or a snowstorm in the pandemic sure right and so but in here i'm gonna play all my greatest hits today uh my old cat loves me and i feed homeless people but um you know sunday is our is our you know serve you know when we serve folks under the i5 bridge here in the neighborhood but there's like you know this whole process of of various people sign up to provide food and they bring it to somebody's house who assembles it in bags blah blah blah and um just a lot of people couldn't get out of their house to deliver the vegetables or the dessert or what have you to um where they needed to be so on saturday i'm just like well i'm the guy and so i just decide like i can drive in the snow so i get in my little volkswagen and immediately get stuck on our street because it's a um it's a small little you know it's not plowed at all and at this point the snow i thought we were at peak snow at that point we're only halfway through it but like the road you know they're i don't know three inches four inches at this point um but i'm like well i don't have a i don't have a snow scraper i don't have a shovel but i got moxie and i got some cleveland and new hampshire in me so i can do this and then i tried to but i'm parallel parked on this tiny little you know seattle side street and so i immediately get stuck right as like some people are passing me on the street so they're just standing on the sidewalk like watch the show as i just kind of go back and forth rock forward rock backwards in my car it is a uh manual transmission which actually helps um some neighbors like i'm gonna go get a shovel i'm like okay and then they disappear and then right as they disappear i finally found some traction and got out of there and then i'm just kind of slip sliding around the town the rest of the the afternoon trying to like pick up this here drop it off there um and i gotta say it was it it wasn't the type of fear of driving like on the highway in a snowstorm vives and i hit one of those when we were in nevada going into idaho i think uh it was terrible and scary we're in the middle of nowhere uh you know two lane highway this is a last month uh just cars backing up behind me because i can't see it's like i'm going in hyperspeed in a in a spaceship if you yeah i know that's exactly right when the stars do that thing yes and like but it's dead of night and there's no street lamps because we're in the middle of nowhere and there's no cell coverage that that was like so white knuckled that by the time we got to the hotel Genevieve had to pry my fingers off of the steering wheel it's not like that when you're driving around town but I did get stuck like a couple of times I did go to this one place to pick up these tables um that we use and usually I just back up to a garage and load them into my car but um this time like I couldn't get anywhere near the garage so I kind of park in a different part of the neighborhood and like an idiot I'm like hauling these things to my car

And then as soon as I get them all loaded in my car, once again, those that's the sound of my wheels spinning in the snow, I couldn't get out. So some other neighbors had to come and push me out. But I do like that that is whether you're living in a place like Seattle, where it snows once a year, or New Hampshire, where it snows all the time, there is just this inherent thing of people to say, okay, I'll give you a push, like, no matter who you are, like, everybody knows that is the protocol. and some neighbors pushed me out immediately and you just you can't stop to say thank you you just gotta keep just gotta keep driving otherwise you're gonna get stuck again so

it's all about preserving your momentum like that's what i learned on saturday because i was doing a few errands and i thought i think of myself as a pretty competent snow driver and i could see that the main roads like the main streets were had had sort of had been plowed and and and looked like they were sort of drivable so like the bigger Thank you. streets um but even so i got i came so close to getting stuck just trying to leave my apartment area because there was this one side street and all these huge drifts had sort of built up from where the snow plows had had plowed the bigger streets so if you're coming from a side street you've got to get over like a three foot berm of snow so i had to like get a running start at one of them so i wouldn't get high centered and like run the light and that was a whole thing but i noticed that there were just people spun out all over the place and then other people just walking around with shovels and like jumping out of cars and helping and like everywhere where someone had found themselves in a pickle somebody else was helping them and I really enjoyed that spirit of camaraderie that spirit of us all being in it together and then later I went on a jog and I was jogging on Burnside and somebody was in a Yaris Yaris Yaris and they were stuck I mean the snow drift they were trying to get over was the height of the Yaris and part of me was like what did you think was going to happen here but they were high centered on a snow drift and there was four there was more people than yaris at this point trying to push it off and i was like i'm jogging i i kind of want to go help but there's honestly not even anywhere on the car for me to be pushing so i guess on a yaris body is what you have there seriously show title like so i just jogged past which i felt kind of like i was being unhelpful and i wasn't obeying the unspoken code of of of snow troubles but i really thought i don't think i don't think i'm actually going to do any good This is a this is the one of the smallest cars made in America other than like a Honda Fit. And there's three adult people pushing it like this is they're they're going to have it handled.

Yeah, I think so. You have to also read the room and know when there's enough people on a project. I feel very strongly about that. Well, plus it's, you know, COVID.

So I thought it's true. I have my mask. But even so, it's like I don't know these people. Do they want me? Do they are they going to be comfortable with me being cheek to jowl with them as we do this? Or is that actually going to be worse than just leaving them to it?

Here's the big thing. I've been getting a lot of text messages from listeners today with photos of their garbage cans in the snow saying, wish me luck, think of me on this day. And can I tell you something? Look, I think this is going to be the most shocking thing I've said on TBTL in quite some time. So buckle up.

Okay.

I didn't even try today. I was like, I have a busy week.

That shocked me.

I have a busy week. I have a lot of stuff going on and right now my garbage bin is only halfway full maybe a little bit more than that it's not a recycling day and I thought I know that if I put the bins out there they're not going to be picked up and then the city will say okay you can put out double next week but we'll charge you like I just I was already looking at what the rules should be what my proper protocol should be on a snow day yesterday and I thought you know what I don't feel like fighting about this I don't feel like getting in my head about this I can get through this week without taking the garbage to the curb so i didn't do it and in a certain way i just i just released desire whatever happens happens but i'm not even gonna open up the possibility of them picking it up only to let me down and and start a spiral of of disappointment and frustration with

the city you know this makes me want to yell the word freedom for 12 solid seconds mel gibson style because what you what you're enjoying right now that feeling my friend is freedom because had you like you just that was just you did exactly what you should have done you just released desire on it and then and then we should all be doing that I don't speak for everybody but speaking for myself I should be doing that I'm taking a flight later today I'm going to Las Vegas of all places to do a TV story and you know it's like flights are very odd these days for one thing I looked at the little schedule and I'm not even I'm like in the this is not my most hashtag relatable content but i was surprised to see that on a flight during a pandemic i was like sixth on the list to get moved up to first class which i guess they just if you agree to get on the plane they put you in first class at this point they're just happy to have people i guess

that's not the case but all the empty seats huh i guess because that probably changes the dynamic

and so i but i looked at that and i just thought like who cares like whatever i'll be i'll be fine i i looked at the row that i'm in which is in coach there's no one else sitting there which makes me happy and i was like it'll again i i understand this is not even a first world problem this is a 0.0001 world problem but it was just like if it were the olden days and and and i were traveling somewhere a big part of my brain would be taken up with where am i on the list am i going to get upgraded am i going to get all the like little perks that i feel that i am entitled to because of how much i travel and now i'm just like you know what i'm excited for a change of scenery it's gonna be 65 degrees i'm gonna get to interview brent musburger the uh the voice of the las vegas raiders as well as the host of this tv show about sports betting i was like it's gonna be it's gonna be an interesting change of scenery it's gonna be fine i'm gonna fly and coach and that's gonna be all right and this release and desire was nice Nice for me there, again, over something that by itself conveys a ton of privilege that's even on my radar.

Well, and I know we shouldn't spend tons of time on this, and we've talked about it a little bit before. But, I mean, that idea of not trying to push for more is very much my personality. In this case, it's not because I'm obsessed with garbage and reducing my garbage anxiety in a way, which I'm doing here. But, you know, even before I was on TBTL and we were just hanging out as friends, I think we acknowledged the difference in our relationship. You are always somebody who, if you have front row tickets, you go to the show and you try to get backstage. If you have backstage tickets, you, I don't know. Try to get into the show. Try to become one of the performers. Exactly right. If you're on the stage, you try to marry the guitarist. I don't know. Yes. And I'm always like, no, no, we have our seats here. Like, yes, the balcony isn't the best place, but we're here and we're secure. And I don't want to, like, risk, you know, giving these up and forcing our way to the front and spilling popcorn. What kind of a show is this? Popcorn and there's a guitarist. I don't know. But that's how I married Eddie Van Halen. I'm sorry for your loss. So anyway, yeah, I mean, that's something that you've always kind of done that I've always probably just been like, nope. I always settle too easily. You probably don't settle enough.

Yes, totally. Because to me, the anxiety that gets created for me Of feeling like there was a better situation That creates a strong Negative feeling in me, and my guess is The feeling of The unknown and the possibility That you'll either be being pushy Or whatever The question marks around what the Upgrade will be or what the change in scenery will be For you, that creates a negative feeling for you You'd rather just go with what you know

And I hate being jostled

And me knowing what it is But wondering if there's a better world out there, if there is, in fact, some kind of seat that lowers down from the ceiling of the venue right on top of where the band is playing so that I can lie down and observe them from that position. Unless I ask, I don't know if that seat exists or not, Andrew. And I just I owe it to myself to investigate.

But it was also there's a reason why it was fun to hang out with you, though, because I could just ride on your coattails and you would always, you know, we got we got some interesting access.

Well, the good news is there are so many things. Like if you were a year and a half ago or something, if you would have said, hey, Luke, will you ever go to another like music festival? I would have said, no, I'm probably good on that for the rest of my life. But this is really refreshed and reset a lot of that stuff. I mean, I've mentioned on this show that I am we're beelining it for the Minnesota State Fair. Yeah. My friend. Once that's legal again and happening and if we're still in the employ of APM. like there's so many things that I want to do again that I was like if I never do this again I'm fine so we have maybe a few more adventures in us when everything goes back to normal you're going to get me inside the bubble with the butter lady you know it okay let's take a break and then when we come back I am actually legitimately kind of excited to give you this President's Day quiz Andrew there are some as far as melon scratchers goes there are a few honey doodles on here So stay with us This is TBTL Back with more In just a moment Hey let's thank some donors of the day Here on President's Day I hope everyone understands That when I activate This audio drop That says I'm not even supposed to be here today I'm not even supposed to be here today It's tongue planted firmly in cheek Because what a job to have We are so lucky to get to do this And it's only because of Donors of the Day And other generous supportive people In the TBTL orbit People like Kendall Dodd and Richard Brown In Bellingham, Washington You been? That's a time or two I'm gonna get back up to Bellingham I miss that place, honestly Like the Bay City is Is a beautiful town and maybe I'll see Kendall and Richard when I'm up there. Julia, are we going with Haz or Haas? For this particular member of your extended family in Concord, New Hampshire.

So many things to consider here. First of all, yes, I guess it's Haz. I never heard her go by Haas, but wasn't it just last week that my brother-in-law, now Genevieve's brother gave last week and Genevieve's sister is now on the roles officially as well. We are bankrolled by Genevieve's family. You have got to stop talking about commercials on the show, Luke, because if you take off Genevieve and there's a split in the family, we got nothing.

We're SOL. We're in deep woo-woo. As somebody said on this documentary, I want to tell you about this on tomorrow's show. It's called Jasper Mall. I just watched it and oh my goodness, it's great. But yes, we would be in deep woo-woo. If we lost. But, you know, you've already sent me the list of donors for tomorrow's edition of the show. And there is a family member of mine on that list. Is there? Oh, yes, there is. When it really comes down to, Andrews, we are, I mean, this weird, I mean, I guess we are. You know, APM is a, I assume, a 501c3. We are literally a non-profit. But something feels particularly charity case when our actual family members are actually helping pay our pay. So thank you, Julia. Also, thanks to Megan Perry from Omaha, Nebraska. As far as I know, I'm not related directly to Megan, but she feels like a family member to me. Thanks for the donation. Also, Kate Sandvik is in Minneapolis, Minnesota, the place where you and I one day, again, Andrew, will eat fried food. And maybe I'll even get you to go in one of those little gondola things that goes over the fair, your favorite ride.

My least favorite thing in the world. You want to see me just grip something until my fingers are implanted into the metal of the pole in the middle of that thing. Those things I lock up, man.

No, I don't want to put you through that. I want you to have a positive association when we revisit the Minnesota State Fair. Amy Zentz is in Seattle, Washington. Thank you, Amy, for supporting the program. And then Kristen Kelly is in Willoughby, New South Wales. Oh, again. We're really, I mean, honestly, we're overperforming in New South Wales, as far as I can tell.

I'd like to see the numbers there, how that breaks down. We have to do another show in Australia, I think.

Yeah, I'll get in touch with Qantas. Kristen, thank you so much for the donation as well. Thank you to all of our donors of the day. We would not be here even on this President's Day without you. So thank you so much. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right, I was trying to think of some hashtag relevant content today, Andrew, and I was thinking, how about a President's Day quiz for you? So I wanted to – this is ten questions. It was on Daily Coast, but I believe it was somebody named Bill in Maine who put it together.

Are you sure it's not Toronto?

I asked him repeatedly Bill Arturonten I asked him if he would make me a quiz About US presidents But he refused for some reason I don't know if we're in a fight or what But anyway this one is from Bill in Maine And it's pretty good I was also trying to think of what kind of audio spackle we should use And I thought you know what Just we'll use that traditional kind of Old school presidential music The soundtrack from the movie Dead Presidents Oh Have you heard this soundtrack?

No, I don't think I even know what Dead Presidents is. Oh, really? That movie? I don't think. It's about bank robbers? I mean, I assumed it was about money, but no, who's in it?

Some guys. Okay. I don't know. It's probably 20, 25 years old. I just thought it was the coolest. First of all, I just thought Dead Presidents was the coolest way to talk about money. Oh, yeah. I don't think I'd ever heard that before, that film. And then the soundtrack, like the instrumental part, Danny Elfman actually did, but everything else is just old soul music. It's Stevie Wonder, The Impressions, Jerry Butler. So anyway, I thought we will play a little bit of that as I am giving you this quiz, Andrew. So are you ready? Yes. You have your thinking cap on?

I do have my thinking cap on. Did I say thinking? I do have my thinking cap on. This reminds me that I printed out these little pocket-sized lists of the presidents of the United States so I could memorize them in order, and then I stopped at Monroe. No, I think I got to JQA, and then I forgot to continue my studies. That's John Quincy Adams? Yeah, it is. You got your first one right. Yeah. I just switched the script on you. I am having troubles, man. Say all the letters in the words, Walsh. Come on.

You got this. You got this. We're better than this. Question number one. Who claimed that God didn't intend for humans to travel on trains at the breakneck speed of 15 miles per hour?

Was it Van Buren? I didn't know this was going to be multiple choice. This is good.

Jefferson, Washington, or Jimmy Carter. J.K. Buchanan. It would be great if it was like George W. Bush. Who claimed God didn't intend for humans to travel on trains at the, quote, breakneck speed of 15 miles per hour?

And the first one was Martin Van Buren, and the other one was James Buchanan. Buchanan, Jefferson, Washington, or Van Buren? I don't think it's Jefferson or Washington. I could be wrong, obviously. We'll find out. But I'm just going to focus on the BUs here. Buchanan or I'm going to say Martin Van Buren. Andrew Walsh, you're going to be absolutely right, my friend. Nice.

Is it almost too easy? No follow-up questions. No follow-up questions because all I have is the answer. It would have been helpful, Bill, in Maine, if that's your real name, if you put in just a sentence of context. Well, you know who would have done that? Bill in Toronto.

Bill in Toronto. Hold on. Let me just look this up really quickly. Martin Van Buren train. Breakneck might also. Breakneck, yes. Looks like somebody is telling the story of this. Okay, I can't do this on the fly. I'm not getting any good nuggets here. But it does seem that it was written in a letter, his concerns about trains.

Nice. Question number two. Name the president who liked to take his pet raccoon for walks around the White House grounds. Was it JQA? Was it Garfield? Was it Coolidge? Or was it Andrew Johnson?

Hmm. For some reason, I was wondering if Wilson was going to be in there. So I was waiting for Wilson and not paying enough attention. Can I get the name? I know JQA was one.

JQA, Garfield, Coolidge, or Andrew Johnson. And I think this actually came up sometime around Thanksgiving because we talked about a story that I had just seen this year where a raccoon was given to a U.S. president for eating on Thanksgiving. And they loved the raccoon so much they did not eat the raccoon for Thanksgiving. And that's this president. That's this president.

Oh, then I think I'm going to get it wrong. I was leaning towards... Well, I'm going to go with my gut here. I'm going to say it was Garfield, because I like the picture of Garfield the cat walking a wreck.

I like it, too. Unfortunately, it's Calvin Coolidge. Coolidge. Which is... Wasn't the... I'm sure that I said this exact thing when we talked about this previously, but I always... The thing I know about Calvin Coolidge was he was very understated, right? Like, wasn't his name, like, Silent Cal?

Oh, I didn't know that, but that's so cool that he's got cool in his name And he's like a cool customer

Right, he was just like considered to be a very reserved guy Which is interesting for being the president, you know But I think he should have been known as Raccoon Cal Because that's a way more interesting

Yeah, that's pretty good, yeah

Like guy who decided to not kill a raccoon at Thanksgiving Cal Yeah Which doesn't exactly flow, but you know what I mean What happened to the raccoon? Actually, it went to live on a farm somewhere I don't think in the manner of, like, they killed it and lied to the American people. I think that they let it go live at, like, Camp David or some shit.

A lot of room to run around. It's still running around today.

All right, here we go. Question number three. Who said that George Washington was not a scholar is certain that he was too illiterate, unread, unlearned from his station, and reputation is equally past dispute? This is a very weirdly phrased question. Somebody said that George Washington was not a scholar, and that is certain, and that he was too illiterate, unread, and unlearned from his station. So this was somebody being very critical of George Washington. Was it Madison? Was it John Adams? Was it Hoover? Or was it Hayes?

So Adams ran against Washington.

Wow.

I'm guessing. No, I—sorry, there's supposed to be a question mark at the end of that.

I'm pretty sure, though, that that's kind of close, though. I mean, like in terms of, yeah, they're definitely from the same era. Like, I think we can throw out Hoover. Right. Because it'd be unless somebody is looking back in time, a great depression. And everyone's like, hey, Hoover, could you help us out? He's like, no. But but could I could I take a minute to tell you why George Washington sucked? Yeah. Right. Right. Right.

I could see, though, like a later president, maybe somebody like just saying, well, listen, actually, if you look at history, Washington was very uneducated. I mean, you could see that. But I'm going to go with Adams. You're going to be absolutely right, my friend.

Nice, nice. Good one. See, you know your presidents better than I do. Because I don't even think I know the, like, there was John Quincy Adams and then John Adams, right? Are those different people?

They're different people, but they're both, like, up in the top six. Remember, I stopped remembering after six who's John Quincy Adams.

This one is, I really wish there was more context for this. Maybe I'll Google it while I'm posing the question to you. Who was attacked during his campaign? I don't think they mean physically attacked, but criticized. Who was attacked during his campaign for not drinking enough liquor? Was it Garfield, Truman, Arthur, or Polk? Arthur.

forget about Arthur James A. Arthur is that who that was I don't think so James A. Arthur Chester Chester Chester A. Arthur um sorry I know you're Googling on the fly. Okay, so it's Arthur. I think it was Garfield in there again. It's either Arthur or Garfield. Maybe it's Garthfield.

Wait a sec. Let's see here. I want to just double check my math. Yeah, this is so weird to me. Because what I'm Googling really belies the answer to this question. But we have to believe Bill in Maine. Okay. Who was attacked during his campaign for not drinking enough liquor?

Garfield was one, right?

Garfield is on the list. Truman is on the list. Arthur and Polk.

I tried Garfield before, and it didn't get me anywhere. Now I'm starting to think, well, maybe Garfield's going to be an answer in one of these, and I should keep just, you know, I was going to say keep pounding that Garfield, but that's not how we talk. No, especially not on this holiday. Not on this. I'm going to go with Chester A. Arthur. Chester A. Arthur.

Well, that's not the answer they're giving, but I have to say it's Truman. Oh, okay. Wow. I know, right? Because when I googled Harry Truman liquor, the first thing that comes up is something from the Daily Beast. How Harry Truman ran a bourbon-soaked White House. Truman's fondness for bourbon not only broadened his appeal, but also helped him defeat his much-heralded opponent, Republican Thomas Dewey. So I don't know if maybe, and I cross-referenced this. I'm looking at the, I have the answer key at the end. Let me just double-check, because I don't want to put the wrong information. This is question number four. Question number four. Oh, funny story. It was Arthur. It was Chester Arthur. Oh, is that what I said? Oh, great. That's what you said. You're right. That makes so much more sense.

Okay, yeah, because Truman, I mean, that's, and again, I'm not great at this, but that would be, you know, that's like the 1940s, right? As opposed to like the 18-whatevers, as my history teacher taught it. Historians say. Yeah. And so I thought that'd be a little bit late. Also, it'd just be weird to be, you know, kind of in a war, and people are like, that guy should drink more. So, okay, good. So there you go. You were right, my friend. I wonder who criticized him.

You're three out of four right now. You're really nailing this. Okay, next up. Whose high school football coach called him one of the best pass receivers I had in 16 years as a coach? Was it the robot in the other room? Not the vacuum robot, but the hockey puck. Oh. thinks i said something to her calm down buddy i'm just turning into like a howard hughes but instead of not getting my fingernails and peeing into jars it's just me talking to ai devices in the apartment devices right yeah had a long chat with randy this morning we talked about some things like not trying to go up over you know like when the carpet is too high to get over it Be careful, you're going to get high-centered like a Toyota Yaris. Yes. Between the Roomba and that hockey puck in there. Those are my friends now, Andrew.

Can I stop the show here for a second? No, I'm not going to stop the quiz, but I want to go back to the last question. I was just trying to do a little Googling because I just thought having a little bit of the background on these answers would be interesting. I am on the Napa Valley Register website, napavalleyregister.com. And there's a list of presidents and their favorite drinks. I'd just like to read to you the entry for Chester A. Arthur. Now, I know I got it right, so why would I argue against myself? But it seems like he liked to drink. It says that in an article, let's see, I don't have to get into all the bibliography here, though. But it says, Arthur would drink wine and after-dinner liquors pretty much nightly. His favorite meal was a mutton chop with a glass of ale or a slice of rare roast beef with hot baked potatoes. Oh, that's just making me hungry. That's not what we're here for. Let's see here. When a representative of the temperance movement pressured Arthur to consider a no alcohol policy, he thundered, Madam, I may be the president of the U.S., but what I do with my private life is my own damned business. So let's just say that Arthur enjoyed his alcoholic beverages.

Yeah, you know what, Andrew? I have some bad news for you. Am I wrong? It's Polk. Wait, Polk? Was that even on your list? Yes. Yes, it was the last one. It's D, Polk. And now that I'm looking, here's the problem. The answer key is surprisingly hard to cross-reference. I'm not kidding you. And so I, question four, we just arrived at question four, and it was D, Polk. So let's Google. You know who's not winning this quiz?

I'm not even drunk right now. I'm back on the Napa Valley Register. The only entry for him on the same on the same list is James K. Polk was not a heavy drinker, but he did enjoy wine, champagne and brandy per this historian. So. Huh. So it sounds like he was he was not.

a heavy drinker so if he was surrounded by a bunch of other heavy drinkers i don't know really what his era is we could see it being a real back slappy manly time i was listening to

our friend chris hayes's podcast the other day and he was talking so again bingo uh he was talking about the founders and uh and and he just mentioned i guess i sort of probably maybe had a little bit of a sense for this but i i'm just not a student of history the way maybe i wish i was and he just mentioned all of the founders being drunk pretty much 24 hours a day sounds about right whilst you know like writing the constitution and things like that and it's and i think part of the point was you know hey uh maybe um we don't have to be totally completely locked into every every jot and tittle from these folks considering they were wasted they were just hammered and i just thought yeah i guess i haven't really thought about that but it was like those you know all of those the constitutional convention all those get-togethers were just marked by people being very drunk trying

to fight it stunk it was a real situation i always think about the smell and i don't know if that's just because of my personality but or they hammered it uh so much like you know talking about the continental congress and and the founding fathers kind of hammering out the constitution they always um they always talk about like the smelly stifling hot rooms where they is it true like they wouldn't open the windows because they didn't want people listening in that's what i've

heard um so yeah i mean and but the drunkenness part of it i guess i don't they're just probably alcoholics i guess most of them i mean some of it i mean there was a lot of alcohol consumed because drinking water was not always as safe so people would drink ciders and things that had pretty low alcohol content think of it as maybe being like you know apple juice but with a little kick to it and like that was the stuff that kids would be drinking on the farm at lunch but it would be pretty my understanding was pretty low alcohol content but it sounds like those guys were not doing that as much as they were just drinking whiskey in a tea cup right okay whose high school football coach called him one of the drunkest receivers I've ever know one of the best pass receivers I had in 16 years as a coach was it John F Kennedy was it Ford Gerald Ford that would be was it Biden Joseph Robinette Biden or Lyndon Baines Johnson Kennedy Ford Biden or Johnson the high school football coach called him one of the best pass receivers I've had in 16 years as a receiver though

not a quarterback it's funny I heard that as quarterback the first time boy that's a tough one because I could sort of see any of those guys can I see I want to see I mean Johnson Johnson's too big to be a receiver right well i mean look at dk sorry i'm going to weird places have you seen the commercial for that product corn the um you know the you used to eat it or maybe still do q o r n have you seen this ad is dk metcalf in a corn ad yeah and it is basically just like really low production porn like he's just standing there like the lighting is just a fluorescent light ahead of him or above him maybe um the uh the the sound quality it sounds like it's just in camera and he's just standing there shirtless somewhere in some like kitchen or something just like joking around about

corn that um sounds like a commercial i have a lot of interest in for a variety of reasons uh my love of dk metcalf and also my um interest in that product but i have not seen it yet and

also we shouldn't be talking about that i guess if we want to keep the show funded by the has

family oh right because it's a commercial yeah i thought because it was uh you know sort of admiring dk's incredible incredible physique i like the idea of lyndon johnson as the prototypical like really just like big bodied receiver who just gets out there and just out muscles the defense just you know like you just throw him the jump ball just throw lyndon johnson a jump ball and he's just gonna like he's basically gonna block the cornerback out in the end zone and just like you know just basically calvin johnson style funnily enough is that the name of a president calvin president named calvin johnson because there was a really good receiver named calvin johnson aka megatron that was gonna say there's a president called megatron okay so

i know it's kennedy ford johnson or what's the other biden biden um you know could it be by i'm gonna go biden for some weird reason all right you're absolutely right and by the way i triple check this one okay good just so you know i feel like i feel like kennedy's a quarterback i feel like john i feel like johnson's a quarterback i feel like ford is what is ford's football

position if he has one i i think ford might have played football at the university of michigan if memory serves okay but um uh that seems to ring a bell in my mind so i'm actually a bit surprised and you've heard nothing about joe biden's football career

but he seems like he would be if any of those guys are not a quarterback but a receiver it just feels like it's biden i don't mean that as a good or bad thing right i you know i we don't

need to make this overly political today but it's funny that it's like you know here biden was if this is to be believed he was pretty good you know high school football player i've heard zero about it meanwhile the former president who it's quite a relief to no longer have in office was literally claimed to be the best high school baseball player in the history of the state of new york something that there was much there was very little evidence of and then meanwhile you've got biden just low-key like oh yeah his coaches yeah that's like the best person i ever coached

at that position so and ford ford i don't understand why the history.com website isn't giving me his position but yeah he would ford was deep in the footballs he says he could have played in the nfl he would he played with the university of michigan wolverines and he was named the uh mvp and he received offers from the lions and the green bay packers god what if he

could have played for dan campbell biting kneecaps getting up getting punched smiling being the president that's his campaign being parodied by by chevy chase on snl for falling down to in fact you know what he would have been great for dan campbell because he already had problems all right uh we got to um we got to hustle here because the plan was to i'd say this it's amazing i say there's any surprise in my voice or that i'm surprised this is happening but it was you know the plan was it's president's day we'll uh you know we'll have a fun little quiz here we'll get out of here maybe in a little under time and then we're gonna be here for an hour and a half probably but anyway let's get we have five more of these okay i'll i'll a lot of this is on me i'm gonna i'm gonna pace here hey hey by the way good job on getting biden oh yeah i got biden so what's

my score like it's good it's uh unfortunately the liquor question that ultimately went against you

So you've got one, two, three, hold on, I've got to switch pens. I burned through a pen putting down all the check marks for your correct answer. So you are going one, two, three, three right and two wrong.

Okay, that's all right. That's fine if I can keep up this pace.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Who said of himself, I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president so I went along with them this was an actual quote from a president who said I always of himself I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for a president so I went along with them was it Monroe was it Coolidge was it Benjamin Harrison or was it Tyler

so ass is donkey right so it's going to be one of the earlier ones there you said monroe right did you say monroe is the first possibility coolidge harrison or tyler um and benjamin harrison right um i'm gonna go rodney harrison one time pittsburgh stealer because isn't there another aren't there two presidents named harrison it doesn't really matter i'm not gonna choose I'm going to go with James Monroe, number one, I believe. Oh, dang it.

Well, let me double check.

Okay. B, 6B. Coolidge. Remember Silent Cal? Oh, that's your cool guy again. A solemn ass. Yeah, you're right. I should have. You know what? I'm not listening. I'm not listening to the universe. It was right there for me.

But also, I don't know. I don't even know if Coolidge was a Democrat or a Republican. I mean, I assume he was a Democrat, right? Hence that reference.

I mean, I guess, you know, I'm really confused about when the modern parties kind of established themselves. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? He was like in the Whig party or something. I don't know what the party makeup was when Coolidge, and I don't even really know when Coolidge was in office. Calvin Coolidge. It was a early 1900. Early 1900.

Political party. Well, let's just find out together. He was, whoa, he was a Republican. Okay. So that's interesting because, I mean, maybe it was just using ass as kind of – I assume that was some kind of a reference to the Democratic Party, but I guess not. Maybe not in those days. All right. This president said, soup is bipartisan. We can all agree on soup. Oh, my gosh.

Was it chunky – Campbell's Chunky Soup?

It was. It was President Hungry, man. It was President Eats Like a Meal.

Was it George H.W. Bush

Wasn't it Cruz though Who was it Who was the politician

Oh well Ted Cruz Allegedly like Yeah Exists mostly on Chunky man soup Yes okay

But it's not President Ted Cruz Oh I don't like saying that I'll tell you though man I don't like saying that

I had a soup last night Andrew It was just out of a can It was some of that You know Amy's stuff That I always call Annie's

Yeah

And it was just like I basically wanted to get Some food from somewhere Not my apartment But everything was closed So I did a thing I rarely do, which is I just like, well, what do we have in the cupboard? I had this one can of this like rustic Italian veggie soup. It was some of the best soup I've had in like forever. And it was still, you know, cold outside. And I had my soup and I watched my little documentary that I want to talk about tomorrow. And it was delicious. And probably the only thing Ted Cruz and I have in common. That and the fact that our fathers killed Kennedy.

Well, there's also a payoff there. Or do you know one of the last things you said on the show Friday, I believe, is that you were going to get yourself some Amy's soup and hunker down and eat it this weekend. So good.

Dreams came true, my friend.

That's a payoff. Really, we should be consultants on how to podcast.

Okay. Soup is bipartisan. We can all agree on soup. Was it George H.W. Bush? Was it Grover Cleveland? Was it Richard Milhouse Nixon? Or was it Barack Obama?

You know, this sounds like a Bushism. Ooh, that does sound a little bit like. But not it, huh?

But you hear me, I'm now cross, I'm double checking my work on every single one of these because I don't want to pull another Polk situation. Don't pull your Polk. I'll cut that out. So do you got any thoughts on this?

Oh, yeah, I said Bush, yeah.

Oh, that was your final answer. Yeah, final answer, Bush. Sorry, it was Obama. Really? And doesn't that kind of seem on brand for Obama, you know, his attempts at being a uniter? Yeah. His attempts at trying to sort of really, you know, build as many bridges as he could. Now they say maybe, you know, to the long-term detriment of like the judicial branch because one of the things – I love this is where I'm taking this. You know, I was listening to Nina Totenberg on one of the public radio shows. No, that's not true. It was Dahlia Lithwick. Excuse me. I was listening to Dahlia Lithwick. Um, and, uh, and she was talking about how, you know, the Obama administration was trying to, and this is because of course we had elected a black man to be president and his reward for that was that every, not everyone, but a huge section of the population was suspicious of him and his agenda. And so in certain ways he had to have a very down the middle agenda so as to not invite criticism that I would argue is very unwarranted. But anyway, like so now that so there was a lot of judicial appointments that were sort of left undealt with that then when the most recent former president came into power filled up. And so anyway, what is my point in all that? Obama was really trying to be a uniter even when it came to suit.

Yeah. And also just I mean, I guess it does sort of sound like a dorky dad thing to say. And I think Obama's got a lot of dorky dad in his personality. So I could Soup Soup is bipartisan That's my imitation of Obama By the way We can all agree on soup Yeah Okay Anyway Now I want soup As Jay would say You got soup Number eight Our imitations of Obama Are just amazing Both of us It's like Yeah

It's Obama talking to Obama

Yeah

Whose chief of staff Was upset to find That his boss Hadn't opened A critical briefing Right. So, in other words, was handed a file whose chief of staff was upset to find that his boss hadn't opened a critical briefing the night before because the sound of music was on.

Oh, I don't know, but I kind of like this person. All right. What are my options?

Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, William Jefferson Clinton and John F. Kennedy.

Wow, all modern. Okay. Well, of course, it has to be post-Sound of Music, you dingus. Wow, I did say Bush right away. He seems like that guy who would – Clinton was always on top of everything, right? He was reading the newspapers before they came to the press.

Yeah, I think that his strong – one of his strong suits was just being a voracious consumer of information.

So it's definitely not Clinton. I don't think it's going to be JFK, although it could be because Sound of Music might have been a bigger TV deal then. Bush was just kind of like a dummy showing up late for work without doing his homework.

I don't see him, though, as like a Sound of Music guy.

Yeah, not necessarily. What was the fourth one, though?

Well, it was Reagan.

Oh, Reagan. I didn't bring up Reagan.

Bush, Clinton, and Kennedy are the options.

I feel like you're pushing me towards Reagan. He's kind of doddery, too. Plus, that's early. I'm going to say Reagan. I'll say Reagan. Oh, you're going to be right.

I also feel like somehow I could tell you were pushing me towards Reagan somehow when you relisted the names.

I felt like I was following you. That's fine. You know what? We didn't do anything, and I invite anyone to go back and listen to that part in slow motion. I did not ever actually. If we're so connected that you can read my mind that I wanted you to say Reagan, sue us. That's right. Sue us for what? Sue me for war. That was my Obama. All right. penultimate question these should be easier too for me because they're on the same side of the page as the answer key so I can very quickly refer these are the two that I feel most confident that I'm going to be giving you the correct correct answer who was ranked by the American people as the worst president in US history in the latest YouGov poll yeah this quiz I believe was put out in the last two years who was ranked by American people, worst president in U.S. history, latest poll, was it Buchanan, was it Harding, was it Trump, or was it Pierce?

Wow, Andrew Jackson's not even on the list. Wow. Pierce was known as the worst president in history. I know that because he's a New Hampshire guy. Really? Yeah, I think this came up in the New Hampshire quiz. Like, he's the only president from New Hampshire, so you get to know a little bit about him, but it's also kind of embarrassing because I don't know exactly why. I think that he really just, like, kicked the can down the road on slavery. Oh, God. Nobody looked that up. Go back, listen to that in slow motion, and never look it up. So Pierce is known as being a terrible president. I thought Andrew Jackson was, though, too, right? But no Jacks on the list. But it's also— Yeah, Jackson was famously racist. But, yeah, and that's Trail of Tears and everything. But, like, this is also a poll taken in the modern era. And I just don't know if most Americans are like, oh, yeah, Franklin Pierce, that.

Let me go to you go. Yeah, right. Dot com. And then I'm going to just like shred the legacy of James Buchanan.

Based on what I think about the American people in like 2019 or whatever, I'm going to say that they said Trump. You are going to be absolutely right, my friend.

And even though I don't think yougov.poll is even a thing, it still makes me happy that in this one place, you know, which, again, who knows what the metrics are? What do you call that when you're doing a – not metrics.

Oh, the margin of error?

No, when you're doing a poll and the methodology was. Oh, okay, sure. methodology was but anyway i'm glad it's i'm glad he's not on this list and then not considered the worst president yeah right right could be like really you guys are that you're more mad at pierce than trump uh all right here's the final question andrew and let's just reset for folks you have one two one two three four five right oh this is a big whoa this is a big whoa so you have five right four wrong if you get this six to four you're champion if you um if you get this one wrong then unfortunately we have to go to a recount which could take weeks then you can call for a hand recount okay i mean that's legally you're right when is it automatically triggered yeah when is when do we certify the results of this quiz and can you get the pennsylvania state legislature to overturn those results all right here we go 12 instruments including four acoustic guitars two ukuleles and two mandolins were made as part of a legacy collection using wood from this president's own paulonia trees okay they made some musical instruments out of trees from this Guy's property I guess

Is that going to be like A west coast thing I've never even heard of it

Imagine the word Paul the name Paul And then Onia on the end Of it's like a Paulonia

I don't know anything about Paulonia trees I'm going to be looking for presidents who I think might Come from California but I have no idea why Okay was it Eisenhower

Famous Californian Yeah that was the guy First surfer to wear glasses Was it McKinley Or was it Carter Or was it Jackson This is this one that I don't know if I would have guessed it right But once I read the answer Then I was like oh of course that would make sense

I'm gonna say I don't know why But I'm gonna say Carter Oh right I'm just absolutely right Farmer, gentleman farmer, right?

Yeah, I don't think even a gentleman farmer. I think Farmer Farmer. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, before, well, actually, you know what? You think I, I met the guy. You think I would know. But, like, I think he. Good way to work it in there, Luke. Yeah, well, while you were, while you were volunteering with the homeless, I was meeting Jimmy and Rosalyn Curtis.

Set your watch to it, people.

No, but, I mean, I think his, I think his real job was peanut farming, and then he got into politics, you know, and then he was the governor of Georgia and other things, and the president. But anyway, I don't know why I'm focusing on that. But, yes, it makes sense because think about it. He's associated with the land, whatever, a Paulonia tree. Now I'm going to look that up. It's a beautiful tree that is actually common in China. He lived in China for a while, too. People really low-key that part of his places he lived. Pre-politics?

Like pre- No, I'm joking. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I thought you were abroad for a little bit.

I'm expecting Paulonia tree to be, like, native to Plains, Georgia. Right, right, right. And it's like, it looks like it might actually be, get its start in China. But anyway, he had these trees, apparently, on his property. That guy is still kicking. Oh, you know, a rabbit hole I went down last night. I watched the top ten presidential first pitches. Oh, okay. Which is very interesting. For a long time when – because it's been – I forget which president it started with. It was one of the ones like Harrison or something where they started having the president throw out the first pitch of the major league season. But they would not stand on the mound. They would be in the stands and they would throw the ball out onto the field.

Yeah, I think I can picture that, yeah.

And there's a surprising amount of footage of this, like going way back. Like presidents who I don't think I'd ever even seen what they physically looked like outside of like a woodcut. Throw in a pitch

It's like that old timey Like it's sped up Because you can hear the piano Totally

Exactly and it's like everyone has hats on And everyone's taking their hats off Because they're meeting each other And the president There's like appears to be very little security And it's just like okay there's Polk Whatever at you know Like whatever the stadium in Washington is The senators are playing or something I don't know the timeline on the presidents and the teams But basically, like, I was just shocked at how much footage there was. And again, it wasn't until the last, I don't know what it is, 30 years that they actually would send the guy out to the mound. Before, it was just throw the ball from the stands onto the field, and the players would try to catch the ball. The actual players would try to catch the ball the president was throwing. It was like flyers up. You mean the catcher was trying to catch it? No, the players. Like, you get the whole Yankees team out there, or at least the ones that want to participate, and then whatever president chucks the ball out onto the field towards this scrum of players. And they're all competing to catch the ball, like bridesmaids trying to catch the bouquet at a wedding. That was the deal for many years. Oh, that sounds fun. It was. It was kind of more fun. And like a security risk, honestly. So at some point, they switch over to the president throwing from the mound or near the mound. And that had some interesting info around it as well, including this was all in my favorite magazine, my favorite shaving-related publication, Mel Magazine, Andrew. um they they ranked the number one pitch being believe it or not george w bush in the world series shortly after 9-11 oh right right which makes sense i mean there was a lot of symbolism around that and he throw i mean the guy was a baseball player i think at yale i mean he was also part owner of the rangers he knew from baseball but he just basically fired a strike down the middle you know who else threw a pretty decent pitch it was on this list of all people Bill Clinton who was Not somebody who considered himself very athletic And said he was super nervous He practiced for two weeks before

His pitch yeah because he's more of a He's more of a band nerd right Yeah with the saxophone

He called himself a church leaguer That was how he described his Athletic prowess church leaguer That must have been a thing from Arkansas Anyway I guess that's it good job my friend Six out of ten

I'm actually pretty proud of that I'm not going to downplay as well you should pretty good yeah it makes me want to you know i'm not a big fan of the non-fiction when i'm reading for pleasure i like to read just like you know real page turner or you know literary fiction kind of stuff but i did a couple a couple weeks ago i told you i read that lucitania book uh which is you know about the sinking of a ship but also like what it meant for world politics and you know of course the u.s getting into war and that's why wilson was on my mind during this quiz and it does make me taking these quizzes this is like the third presidential-related quiz or history-related quiz we've taken in a while, and it makes me legit want to know more and learn more. I wonder what my next... Maybe I should read a book on Teddy Roosevelt. I feel like that's an era that's very interesting, but I don't know much about, because he ran again I just recently learned or

rediscovered that he ran again under a third party banner, like not Democrat or Republican.

The mustache party?

It was the mustache party.

The mustache and monocle. You should read about Teddy Roosevelt while at Teddy's. Yes.

That sounds like a match made in heaven. Of course, maybe it's too on the nose. I'd have to hide it inside of a comic book so they don't think I'm being too—

Wasn't he also—he was the police commissioner of New York City, Teddy Roosevelt was. Yeah, which is just I don't know why that like why that sort of was interesting to me. It just feels like a whole different kind of career.

Yeah. And he's probably my favorite Rough Rider. That's always my favorite joke because no, we can name any other Rough Riders.

Oh, I can. Is Ja Rule a Rough Rider?

OK. All right. Sorry, I'm Googling a song. I'm trying to. What is this song? Oh, Jay-Z has a song called Dead Presidents, right? Oh, OK.

I was just going to say, why don't we just go out with this Al Green song that we just happened to arrive at on this soundtrack. That's perfect. Yeah, that's good. What's the name of it? Do you know? It's Tired of Being Alone by Al Green. All right. That's going to do it for our show today. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. We are going to be back here tomorrow. More imaginary radio for you. So please do join us for that. Until then, hope you're warm and have power wherever you are. If you don't have power, do not waste your phone's battery listening to this. My goodness. Focus on staying alive, and then we'll see you tomorrow. Until then, have a great Monday, happy President's Day, and please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

I guess you know that I love you so, even though you don't want me. Power out.