Muse

We're going to get you back on the dating scene, bro. What do you think about that? Yeah, that's actually why we're here. We're going to put your profile on Match.com. Let's talk about your likes and dislikes. How about your favorite food? What would that be? Oh, milk steak. What? Milk steak. I'm not putting milk steak. I'm going to put steak. Don't put steak. Put milk steak. She'll know what it is. No, she won't know what it is, Charlie. Nobody knows what that is. Okay, all right. What's your favorite hobby? Magnets. Okay, what? Making magnets? Collecting magnets? Playing with magnets? Just magnets. I'm going to put snowboarding. TBTL.

They had been posting their stuff out on the internet, and apparently they'd been met with virtually nothing but ridicule.

The Director's Guild of America will bring down its swift sword of justice on you rank amateurs.

It's the story of a man with a brothel of a home and a pool filled with human excrement.

Are you out of your mind? And you're putting your entire future in the hands of the man who put radio on the internet.

You know what, dude? We can make a lot of money on this. If you're making these out of thin air, I mean, there's no overhead. We're going to be rich.

Oh my god. One hundo a day, both of us. Five hundo a week. That's rich. That's it.

Oomah! Oomah! Oomah! Oomah!

Alright, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's a kind of magic. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. You already know who it is. Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center high in the sky. Above Portland, Oregon. Where it is threatening to rain most of today. I took that as a sign from above. And by that I mean atmospherically, not from a spiritual sense. that I should try to get out and do my little jog on the earlier side today so as to stay ahead of the weather. And I was jogging all along the Willamette River, and I thought, boy, I am really moving. I am really going fast. Should I see if it's too late for me to enroll in the Olympic trials? And then I crossed the steel bridge, and I started going in the other direction on the river, And I realized I felt like I was running fast because there was like a 40 mile an hour wind at my back, which was now blowing directly into my front. I was like, where's old Billy Paxton? We're dealing with a twister out here. But anyway, I made it home safe and sound and am fully ready and fully torqued, bro, to bring you episode 3,364 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Woke up this morning to the news that Daft Punk is, they are ending their musical collaboration after 30 years.

Does this sound like a musical robot?

As I said to my friends Camaro Kev, a.k.a. JD and Thunder from the Stack of Dimes podcast, they are certified Daft Punk fans. I watched the video Daft Punk put out a video to explain That they were no longer going to make music together And it's very Daft Punk And I just said to JD and Thunder God I love these French weirdos I really do I love Daft Punk And I'm kind of sad They're not going to be making music anymore But they went out In a very Daft Punk way We'll explain coming up Also The Simpsons Has once again proven itself to be Maybe the most prescient television show in the history of television shows. Who saw that coming? They had a very quick joke on the show many years ago that was very, very, very predictive of the Ted Cruz debacle. And I mean the one involving Cancun. When you say the Ted Cruz debacle, I mean you do have to be more specific than that. I mean when he went to Cancun. Anyway, we'll talk about that. Plus, the results of the poll launched on Friday's show as to the question of if Thousand Island is a dressing or a condiment.

Get off Milk Island.

The results are in, and we will read them to you coming up. We'll do all that with the help of this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show. He may be best known for his drawings of the tall ships. He's got a sweet stash, and he is ready to freaking party. He is Andrew. I had a stinky vacuum situation. Walsh, and he's joining me right now. from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Hey, Luke. You know how we discovered a few months ago that at some point the Gmail address that is associated with the TBTL listener line

Has you on some sort of a list where we're getting, like, job announcements, like, job openings for, like, in the, not entertainment, but, like, in the restaurant field often. What's that field called? What am I thinking of? Like, hotels and restaurants. Food service. Yeah, yeah. Hospitality. Hospitality is exactly the word I was looking for.

Hospitaliano.

Is the other word I was looking for because when I think of one. When you're here. You're framily. You're framily. We have such well-worn grooves in our comedic relationship Somebody was just like, wait, this is a comedic relationship? Anyway, according to the Kimball Group, Luke Brinker International has an opening for a host in the Bellevue Maggiano's

Are you familiar with Maggiano's? I am not, but it sounds like a place I would eat in an airport

Yeah, so anyway, you could apply for the host position there But really, the reason I was opening this account on my phone as you were saying hello to me is I just had a somewhat chilling thought that I need to figure out here. I was going to mention to you that the text messages coming into the TBTL listener line continue on a constant flow in a way that, you know, would make all of our bosses proud at American Public Media. We do have a large vocal audience and people are hitting me up and I've really been enjoying it. But one thing that I've realized is I will just like kind of in my regular life, I will let these text messages build up sometimes and then reply to a bunch of them at once when I'm thinking of it. And I think I forgot about time zones last night and I am looking to see when I was responding to these because I don't know where people are texting from. And I could have been hitting people at midnight on the East Coast, which that's not what you want when you text a radio show. You text a radio show on a Saturday morning, then suddenly Sunday night when you're trying to fall asleep and get ready for your big Monday. And suddenly some dingus in Seattle is like, yeah, it's not a condiment or what have you.

It also sounds like somebody who might be, you know, trying to be a little flirtatious. I mean, there was an hour of the night where if you receive a text from somebody and maybe they're not somebody, you know, particularly well, it might read as they had a couple of drinks. They started getting, you know, a certain in a certain mindset.

All I did was I text. It looks like it wasn't that late. It was about it was more like around 11 o'clock on the East Coast. I texted about 20 people. You up. I just texted you up to everybody in the address book to see. W.

w uh w y a uh where you at where you at the big that's what the youngs that's what that's what all the youngs are doing when it's when you know there may be interested in having a little late

night canoodling i'm now getting w y a lot of responses that say you are you've been blocked i don't know what that means but that sounds fun i like blocks that's cool um i have a couple of

updates for you uh on the situation here in this apartment building the first involves the dishwasher the guy finally came out to look at it on friday so this is a new mechanic that you are

repair person who you have not uh met before this isn't the the person in the building who you kind

of got a good vibe from it's uh no oh god you know what thank you though for for mentioning that because i have a i have a lot of updates none of which are particularly interesting but let me start with because i'll forget otherwise i have a growing suspicion that the management of this apartment building is aware that i am up here on my floor of the apartment narrating my dissatisfaction with them to a cast of thousands um because i think they may have sort of i've noticed a much more responsiveness and there is a particular uh employee who he is actually just really good like he is everything that i would be hoping for in somebody working down at this front office like he's responsive he if i ask him a question uh if he doesn't know the answer he says hey i'm gonna find out right now and i'm gonna call you back with the answer and he does that. Bad boy. His name is Jay, and I don't know if he just is one of those people that you bump into sometimes where they just go above and beyond. They are very, very good at their job, or I don't know if he is like, you know, like what's that Harvey Keitel movie where he's a deprogrammer and he has to kidnap someone. He's like a specialist. I don't know if Jay is the specialist that they bring in. Maybe he roams between apartment leasing offices in Portland when there's like a particularly toxic relationship With a tenant they bring in Jay

Also like Harvey Keitel maybe he's like the wolf Right maybe that's a better

Maybe that's a better reference But he comes in I just imagine Jay has his own phone his own desk phone for some reason like he comes in he gets rid of all of their stuff he sets up his own phone he brings in his own chair his own little bird that is perpetually drinking the water like he sets up his workstation yeah it's time to it's time to heal this relationship because like on friday what happened was of course you know it was months and months since the initial request for repair of this dishwasher in my apartment was put in and um it was friday and i had still heard from no one as to like hey it's a friday it's the day that we agreed somebody was going to come work on this just a heads up this is the status it is still the window of time is still two to five or whatever i just hadn't heard from anyone and so i called downstairs and i uh left a message and was thinking well this is just going into a void i was already kind of future tripping on it you know what i mean i was already like furious at them that somebody had dropped the ball and that the appliance guy was not even going to show up after all of this time and uh i get a call from jay saying hey you know uh just so you know the appliance uh repair is still scheduled it's from three to six i'm really sorry i know that they told you two to five earlier is three to six going to be okay and i was i was like yeah i was like but i'm actually going to be running some errands do i need to be here he's like nope not at all we have a key um don't even worry about it if you happen to let us know that you're not in the apartment then we'll tell maintenance but If not, they'll just figure it out. Don't worry. Then I'm out running my errands, and he calls me. He says, just want to let you know the guy is there now. So if you still have a few more errands to run, if you want to just be clear of the apartment while there's somebody in there, just a heads up. I mean, he was, like, very, very responsive and very good at his job, which, again, could just be he's great at his job. Could be that they've decided that they're going to try to really give me white glove service.

so if you don't mind me jumping in here this is like no matter how this story ends you are now just dealing with somebody who recognizes you as a human being with uh who has to manage his own life and whether or not it's all going to work out you just are dealing with somebody who says i respect your time or that i respect the fact that you have a schedule too and we're going to work with you we're going to ask you questions like that's all you wanted was to just feel

scene as they say yeah i mean the idea that that that he would realize okay uh because the guy didn't get here until it was like so if the window initially was two to five and then the window shifted from three to six and i think it was like 5 30 when the guy got there which more on the guy in a moment because he was also lovely so i just assume he was out working on other projects but just the fact that this guy in the office jay was like okay now i'm he's just tracking things he's like now the repair person showed up at the real end of the window and so it's likely that Luke could be coming home right now thinking it's all handled let me just give him a heads up like those are just very small things that like you said Andrew make me feel very seen and helped I would say soften the blow when I got here and the appliance guy who again could not have been more professional or nice I mean the best he had spread out like a kind of a moving blanket on the floor so that any work he was doing would not be getting onto the floor or scratching up the hardwood or whatever. Like, he had a whole workstation going. I will tell you this, Andrew. Remember how I thought the place was called the Appliance Ambulance? Yes, and I took issue with that. Right. Well, it's not the Appliance Ambulance, but I think it's still – well, it's got potential problems. It's called the Appliance Hospital, meaning – Now, your problem with appliance ambulance was if they don't take the appliances and put them in a truck and drive them somewhere, they're not really fulfilling the promise of an ambulance.

This is a house called doctor, which is something that is, like, so rare and appreciated in society. Lean into it.

Right. The appliance doctors.

The appliance doctors.

Well, you know what's funny is my guy Jeff, who gave me his card, it did say doctor in quotes, Dr. Jeff. So they're really running with the sort of medical terminology. But it's called the appliance hospital, which, again, to me, feels like my dishwasher should be right now convalescing in a hospital. And, again, appliance doctors really works. And like you said, Andrew, it indicates service potentially at home, which everybody likes, I mean, at least during non-pandemic times. So I show up. Jeff is here. He's just wrapping up. Dr. Jeff, I'm sorry, is just wrapping up. He's extremely kind. But he has to tell me that he goes, well, we got good news, bad news. He goes, I solved the power problem, but there's a broken water pump. So we are no closer to having an operational dishwasher here at the Nest Broadcast Center. But this is the part that I went from, again, I'm not putting any of this on even the current people that work in the leasing office. But what I was I was able to extract some information from Dr. Jeff that he didn't. really want to give up because i think he didn't want to get me he didn't want to get me riled up you know and and and further damage my relationship with the the staff here the the management company but he said i was like well what was the he didn't tell me initially what the power problem was he goes we got the power thing figured out and we get in the elevator together because he's all done and i'm going back down to my car and i go what what was the power problem and he waits a long time and he goes it wasn't plugged in like in the back like behind like so this is built into a cabinet like there's no way me the tenant would know to like literally drag the innards of this dishwasher out you know what i'm saying yeah and you shouldn't by the way you can ruin your floor i did that with my um right exactly refrigerator hence the moving blanket that dr uh jeff had out so yeah so in the behind the machinery it was um which is a little annoying because they sent an electrician out remember yeah rider the electrician yeah i don't know no offense rider i'd go with thing maybe maybe step one let's see if it's plugged in so it wasn't plugged in wait hold on one second

that was the water supply issue i assume that the water supply wasn't plugged in

nope no no the power is was not plugged in the back of this dishwasher that's like all effectively built in or you know snugged into the like kitchen section of This apartment if you were to pull it all The way out and look behind it there would be a place For it you to plug the dishwashing Unit into some kind of power and it was unplugged It had never been plugged in in Addition to that the water Pump didn't work in addition to that there was A note that was taped To the top of The unit that said this unit doesn't Work so like if you were to pull if You were to slide out the sort of metal Unit you know why Andrew this is

Because you're in the show apartment

And what they did This is shady What they must have done Was realized Hey we've got a dishwasher that doesn't work We've got a dishwasher with a broken pump You know where we could stick that The show unit Because for people just joining us For people joining us from any Kornheiser or Kornheiser adjacent podcast This morning welcome

There are dozens of them by the way I think we got a whole bunch of people At least following us on Twitter Who describe themselves as littles in their bio on Twitter Which is exciting and new

But so for those folks that don't know This has been a real ongoing saga for me And also this apartment that I am in was the demo apartment If you were going to say, hey, can I look at an apartment in this building This is the one they would bring you to Which is why I liked it, because it was generally pretty nice but somebody clearly decided to stash the non-working dishwasher in the demo apartment since no one's going to run the dishwasher which i guess isn't the worst impulse you're not hurting anyone but this is the problem with this fpi management company the right hand never told the left hand hey the dishwasher it's the same reason that the person who i talked to didn't know how much the apartment actually cost like just a complete lack of communication between the people that are handling this stuff so that i have been here for three months now trying to figure what's going on with the dishwasher what's going on with it was it never worked it's just been and you know what really makes me even more frustrated i know that listen jay is my guy but i don't think jay is in a senior position here i know that as soon as i reach out to either thomas or Catherine and say hey guys I know what happened because like this makes perfect sense right what I'm describing is clearly what happened there was a note on the dishwasher which I should have seen

if I could have gotten that from Dr. Jeff it just has evidence how did Ryder not see this I know that that's your question but am I am I don't think Ryder listen Ryder had a surfing appointment

somewhere let's be honest so Ryder didn't even pull this thing out from the wall had he done that i i figure i think rider gave up pretty quickly rider we spoke so well of you i know he was rider was friendly but he was not thorough but um but oh my i know what's gonna happen around me just don't get too close to your riders you're because they have feet of surfboards i just assume rider wanted to go surf because that's the kind of name of a surfer dude um but i know that when i say to the top brass here at fpi management hey i figured out what happened their response i promise you will be well it's unclear to us what the actual origin is but the good news is we put you back on the appliance hospital schedule and they will be fixing the water pump in four months i am not going to get them saying you know what that's exactly what happened rb right like they will never admit that that's because because i guess officially i can't prove that but logically that's exactly that's the only explanation as to why it wasn't plugged in why there was a note on top of it said this doesn't

work and why the water pump was also broken okay well listen listen this story started off really positively like their progress has been made relationships are being mended not mended already but are being mended in the process um and those are good things so now i'm irked again but i don't want that to come through i don't want to get you riled up i don't want to spin you up just focus on the good let's not you know there's no point in being like hey dinguses There was a note on it It never worked in the first place Knocked their heads together Make the coconut sound You want to do that But let's not It is what it is It is what it is And let's move forward

And I will happily turn over All of my previous emails To you To the listeners To the Heiserheads I'm not I have never at any point Gone nuclear with these folks Because one In a way I don't think It's really their fault And two I know that wouldn't help me Because I still am going to live here And so I mean I appreciate the advice I was already planning on being pretty diplomatic about it But I am annoyed in advance because I just Again I just want them I know how they operate here And the way they operate is Deny, deny, deny Never admit any fault Never give any definitive answer on anything But do it all in this way Where it seems like they're being really nice

Yes and by the way just for the record I was mostly talking to myself there I realized I sounded like lecture Or like I was telling you how to feel I was just sort of I was I think gauging because I almost opened my mouth and started to spit vitriol and then I was like no I do appreciate how much you have my back on this yeah no I just need to and so I think by the way so sorry if I was coming off as I kind of preach you're telling you how to feel or act I was I was just kind of taking my own I think emotional inventory there

Well, I will keep everybody posted on how it goes I mean, again, the door was supposedly left open in the last email For maybe some amount of prorating my rent The problem too, Andrew, we should move on, obviously But the problem is that this is now also dredged up Some feelings I have about other elements of this building And I'd be curious to get your thoughts on this This is my latest gripe So there is a gym downstairs right for for people that live in this apartment building and they sent out an email the other day because the state of Oregon is now allowing gyms to reopen and there are a lot of rules around that and cleaning and you know sort of how many people can be in the gym at the same time etc. but this email comes out from the management here that says gym update which i took to mean oh cool they're going to reopen the gym thankfully because as i mentioned at the beginning of the show the weather can really turn out there on the mean streets of portland i almost got blown into the willamette river today no the note from them was to say guess what gyms are allowed to be open but if we were to have our gym open based on the rules we would have to have somebody come in and clean it every hour and we don't we're not we don't have the resources for that so the gym will remain closed this really grinded my gears because i am paying rent to have the gym open what they are making at this point is a financial decision right which is we do not want to prioritize the resources to keep this gym in the legal legally cleaned enough etc so we're just deciding no gym for you burbs but they're not saying and so your your your rent will be 50 bucks less a month now when if when the governor said no gyms open they can't do anything about that that's not on them but when they are allowed to have the gym open and they're choosing to not do that because they want to save money i mean they could go hire somebody they could put an ad on craigslist needed gym cleaner hire the person station them outside the gym have them scrub down the treadmills they could do that they're choosing not to do that but what they're not choosing to do is offer me a break on my rent and that has me also a little hot

What does Pacino say in Glengarry, Glenroth, sorry, Monday here? Actually, I have it here, although this is way too long, but something like you don't open your mouth until you know the shot.

You've got to learn the first rule you know if you ever spent a day in your life. You never open your mouth until you know what the shot is.

In this case, I'm just wondering why did they open their mouth? Because everybody was asking about it. OK, because I could see your argument, but I also just feel like, hey, listen, it's pandemic times. Gyms are closed like it won't be open because they're noticed them getting into the details of like we are making this financial decision just seems like kind of opening themselves up to this exact criticism. Whereas I think we're all cutting like the the you talking about getting a break on your rent with because you aren't getting what you're paying for with the appliances being broken in your apartment for three months. I think that's a bit of a stronger argument than like I can't use the gym because it's pandemic time, even if it is a financial consideration for them, it just gets a little bit.

it gets a little bit dicier but like they didn't have to say this is a decision we're making i just feel like they could have but i guess you're saying that they're getting a lot of emails from people saying hey the rules have changed here why aren't you yeah it was big news i'm

yeah because part of i mean you know this is a modern this is a very modern apartment building and part of the reason why people rent apartments in these giant modern apartment buildings are the amenities yeah and so i'm sure that when the announcement came out gyms are open i mean part of the math on like hey am i going to pay a little more to be in a sort of semi new somewhat sparkling building is well i can save a hundred bucks a month on my gym membership because they've got one here so i bet you half the people that live in this building were kind of like oh cool the gyms are opening again and so they had to say something and what they said was we're just not going to do it because we don't want to spend the money which again if they want to give everybody a break on their rent because of because of that decision and then then i'm fine with that but it just feels like another thing where they're you know they had they were not legally banned from fixing this dishwasher in the first three months they just chose to take the slowest route possible and uh probably the most affordable route possible maybe and i'm still sans working dishwasher so anyway um i will uh i will stop complaining now about my extremely privileged position of being warm and dry and having to wash my own dishes and jog on the mean streets of portland that is still a very lucky place to be in the world but i will keep you all updated as to what the next phase is and how the next email round of emails go would you allow before we go

to break here i have if i can have two minutes of your time i would like to just update you with a a a nice story um about my own you know usually frustrating circumstances surrounding my garbage pickup um but i'll make this really short and nice um it was only a week ago that this city was locked in a snowstorm of a generation and i had told you that um this would have been last monday i said i didn't even bother taking my uh garbage cans to the curb this week i have enough room in there it'll just help my mental health if i don't even let them disappoint me like they're not going to pick it up and then they say they'll pick it up the next day just leave them out there a full day and it's just not going to happen and then i'm just going to get mad at the company and then I'm going to have that in my head all week. So I was just like, don't even engage this week. A lot of listeners hit me up often via text message on Monday evening saying, listen, like the city just keeps on sending out these announcements saying we are pick. If your pickup was on Monday, put put the cans out to the curb on on Monday night and we'll pick them up Tuesday morning. A lot of people are saying we're going to try this. We think you should try it, too. Luke, I did it. I put one garbage can. And not all of them. I'm just like, let's just see if they pick up the one. I put the one most important garbage can on the curb Monday night, and I'll be a son of a gun if they didn't honor their promise and come by a day late to come pick up my lonely little garbage can out there in this weird garbage district I live in. And I got to say, I'll have to give them two put-ups for that.

Wow, nice. If I had my jalapeno music of celebration here, I would play it for you. That's great. I'm glad that we were able to wrap this segment up on a positive note about some customer service that was better than you expected.

Yeah.

As opposed to what I've been dealing with here. So that's good. And see, also, that was the universe rewarding you for just being Zen and releasing desire and, you know, all of that stuff. Yeah. That's usually how I operate anyway. All right. Let's take a quick break. And then when we come back, we will get into these top stories. And we'll even thank some donors of the day. Don't go anywhere. This is TBTL. all right let's thank some donors of the day these wonderful generous helpful can do folks are the reason that we can uh do this show five days a week Sarah Roilence is in Seattle, Washington. Thank you, Sarah. Stephanie Bright is in Racine, Wisconsin. Laura Cotty's is in Portland, Oregon. Laura, show yourself. Looking out. Are you anywhere near the Franz Bakery? Do you want me to text her? I'll wait until it's late. No, you know what? I see someone crossing the street. I think that's probably Laura. It's far in the distance, though. I can't make out all of their features. But, Laura, thank you so much for supporting the show. Also, Michael Piacchatelli is in Gig Harbor, Washington. Gig Harbor is just a little slice of heaven down there. Just kind of in between. I guess, like Silverdale, where my parents live, and Tacoma, just with all kinds of beautiful panoramic views of the water. Michael, thank you for keeping the show going. Also, Rachel Andrusiak is in Ypsilanti, Michigan. That's fun. Getting some strong kind of Midwest, upper Midwest representation between Racine, Wisconsin and Ypsilanti, Michigan. And then, of course, Allie Leanna is in Seattle, Washington. Thanks, Allie. Thanks to all of our donors of the day. We would not be able to do this show without you, so thanks for supporting us. Thank you so much, babies. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Top story, Maggiano's Little Italy restaurant, Andrew, was started in Chicago, but now is run out of the classic, the home of all good, home-style Italian food, 6820 LBJ Freeway in Dallas, Texas.

That's the job you're applying for?

Yeah, that's my – that's kind of – you can't have too many irons in the fire is the history of this company. I think we may have actually brought this other company up. The company was founded in Chicago's River North neighborhood in 1991 by Rich Melman's. The name of this company is Lettuce Entertain You Enterprise. But lettuce. Lettuce. Lettuce. Like the vegetable. Interesting. Is lettuce a vegetable? I think it's a condiment. More on that in a minute. No, but real question. Is lettuce. Yes. Iceberg lettuce, which is just water being held together by the cellular structure of, I mean, isn't, what, I wonder, I mean, I'm not trying to start another poll here Like, to me, like a carrot is a vegetable, it's got a lot of vitamins and nutrients in it, but like iceberg lettuce, we're calling that a vegetable

I just don't think it's subjective, though, like, yeah, I mean, it's a plant, it grows from the ground, I mean, I guess the only other option would be a fruit It's not an animal I like the fact that you're just You're just more like judging And again, maybe I don't have a leg to stand on here With the whole Thousand Island situation But like I'm sorry, I am laughing at you I always say I'm laughing with you But in this case But I'm lovingly laughing at you Because I feel like you just don't feel like it's earned it

That's your My friend, you're exactly right I will also tell you that when you go on Google and you put an iceberg lettuce one of the first things that comes up is is iceberg lettuce a

vegetable so there are dozens of us probably based on the fact that you've been getting drunk and

googling that people also ask is iceberg lettuce a vegetable iceberg lettuce is the crunchy pale vegetable so it is a vegetable you're absolutely right you'll often find added to your fast food burger or diner salad when you eat out it has a neutral taste and refreshing crunch making it a favorite among children who won't eat other kinds of lettuce so i don't mean to i don't mean to besmirch lettuces across the board because there are a lot of lettuces i'm kale is probably a lettuce right like there are a lot of lettuces that are full of of healthy nutritional things that we all need i guess when i say is lettuce a vegetable i mean is iceberg lettuce even a food

is iceberg lettuce a food that is true because trees are not food i mean there are things that

grow from the ground that you don't need by the way it's a plant is it it's a plant but is it food I guess this may be the question I'm trying.

According to this, Kale is actually a member of the cabbage family. Now, is lettuce a member of the cabbage family? Right when I said that, I was like, dang it. But let me ask you this, though. No, no, no. I have one more question about this. Do you consider, do you have the same sort of, what are you even emoting here? Not disgust. You're dismissive, and you're looking so far down your nose at iceberg lettuce. How do you feel about celery?

Well, I love celery. Because celery has, to me, a yummy kind of almost peppery flavor. But I know that celery is also famously like what they call it calorically neutral. Caloric neutral because the amount of calories you burn eating a piece of celery, let's just say it's by itself, not covered in peanut butter or something, is about the amount of calories that's in the celery. Yeah. And I think celery could be – celery by itself could be – I don't hold it in such low regard as I do iceberg less. By the way, I love iceberg lettuce like on a frigging burger. You know what I mean? Iceberg lettuce very much has its place in my life, as does celery. But you're right. Those are kind of in the same category. They're like it's – They're holding water.

Your description of it just being a green thing that is basically just kind of holding water in its cells. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of –

celery too that's why yeah no you're you're totally right and i think that um i think it's it's pretty much the same i also feel like growing up in the era that we did celery was i'll tell you three things that when i was growing up i knew meant somebody was dieting and they weren't happy those three things were if celery was invoked if sprouts were invoked or if cottage

cheese was invoked are you talking culturally here or in your home okay no but nobody in my home dieted oh okay i thought i got a little bit lost there because i thought you were saying that there if somebody was dieting again i kind of got this impression that you were like the subbing somebody in your house i see no um right like in the pop culture like if it is a

trope if the right if the cartoon kathy act i'm a chocoholic yeah yeah if that if kathy uh was was on a diet for some reason she was eating sprouts and she wasn't happy about it or she was eating celery or maybe she was eating cottage also in the restaurant i didn't go to a ton of restaurants when i was a kid but i knew that if you were getting the healthy option it was coming with cottage cheese for some reason instead of i don't know french fries yes i can definitely see

that and you're putting celery in there though and is that kind of a kathy ak diet thing i didn't

realize it was always people were eating again maybe just the cartoons or the pop culture that i was that i was consuming as a kid it was somebody like on a sitcom who's dieting and they don't want to be dieting they just got a big piece of plain celery and they're just kind of like yeah they're they're they're eating it and they're unhappy as everyone else around them is eating some delicious yes you know pizza and so i grew up thinking celery yuck and as an adult it's one it's legitimately one of my very favorite if it can be called a food it's one of my very favorite

foods in the law. Celery can be called a food. By the way, do you ever just watch the Tim and Eric skit Celery Man out of the blue? Because Genevieve and I felt the need. We just get caught in this draft of quoting it just like, I have a new sequence I've been working on and we'll say that. Somehow it'll come up and then we quote, we kind of misquote or a proxy quote, like four lines from it, and then we have to just watch the damn thing. And I feel like that That happens to us a lot.

We just did it again this weekend. I don't think I realized that Paul Rudd thing was called Celery Man. I do watch that. Oh, Tane. I call it Tane in my mind, but that's not what it is. It's Celery Man. He is a new character he's been working on.

Exactly. That's always part of our conversation, too. I don't know, man. Again, we have this conversation recycled every six months or so. We'll be like, oh, yeah, it's not called Tane. What is it? Oh, it's Celery Man. Right. And then they start quoting, and they're like, all right, let's just watch it. It's like 90 seconds here. Let's just take a little listen to this. Love to. Good morning, Paul. What will your first sequence of a day be? Computer, load up Celery Man, please. Yes, Paul. This is such a visual joke, and I'm just playing it on the show now. I'm not even watching it, by the way. This is just the audio that I pulled a long time ago. Could you kick up the 43D? 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3D, 3 I love it so much.

I always say this when we get on the topic of that particular video, but I don't know why, but the Paul Rudd coffee sip is the moment of perfection within something that's almost completely perfect because it's such a great trope of – I can't even put words to it, why it worked so well for me, but it's just a beautiful visual moment that reminds me of a million other things that I've seen, but it's just doing it in this extremely great kind of satirical way.

Again, yes, Veeves and I, we were just deconstructing that exact moment again this weekend, because also remember this happens in some sort of a netherworld thing. He walks to a computer that's floating on some sort of a long bridge to nowhere sort of, in some sort of ether space, yet he then does these small little gestures that all of us do if we've ever worked in an office place or Our, you know, our cubicle mate might have taken a sip of coffee the way he does. And it's hard to say exactly what he's parodying, but he's nailing it. And there's a second coffee sip that happens. And again, this is all visual. But it's when he says, he says, I'd like to see a nude tain, I believe. And the computer says, this is not suitable for work. Are you sure you want to? see nude tain and then he takes another sip of coffee and says mm-hmm while he's drinking the coffee and somehow that is just comedic brilliance to me

could I see a hat wobble yes and a yes is there any way to generate a nude tain not computing please repeat nude tain this is not suitable for work are you sure there it is

Oh, shit. Also, the fact that it's also Paul Rudd who's entertaining Paul Rudd.

Yes, Paul Rudd is watching visuals of himself dancing. That's what all of these things are.

And obviously, as you can tell, that background music is by Daft Punk, which brings us perfectly to our first top story that Daft Punk is calling it quits, I guess, as a duo after like 30 years. I have to say I was a little bummed about this Just because most bands that have been together for 30 years Have stopped making music that I'm like Actively listening to Not Daft Punk man Random Access Memories I mean I think they put out a couple things after that But that album was Absolutely In regular rotation for me For a long time I still go back and listen to it Like I feel like they were still pretty relevant At least to me And that's the one that had I'm really out of my depth with we're actually listening to the first track off of random access memories um so i have it

right in front of me if you had any questions i was gonna say isn't that the record though that they had their really big hit with um yeah lucky yeah right yeah yeah but they did i mean

one of the things that i thought was so cool about uh about daft punk was the way that they would sort of go back and highlight musicians that they were just personally very interested in like this guy Giorgio Maroder which Giorgio Maroder is a kind of a famous I think he's also French but he's a kind of famous electro or like early electro musician and one of the songs on this album is just Maroder just like talking about trying to make it in the music game when he was younger and I mean he's a guy who was in top of mind probably for most 25 year olds in the world when they put this album out and they really highlighted him they highlight this Paul Williams guy who's kind of had a moment again and i think even won a a grammy or some big award for his association with with daft punk anyway i just like that they were very respectful of of their musical heroes and also they were very very clever andrew because if you and i ever start a band we need to wear helmets because then no matter how old we get no one's going to be able to notice daft punk seemed equally relevant to me today as they were 30 years ago because i don't know what

their faces look like why do we have to be musicians to do that i feel like why not as podcasters or should we have just like established that earlier on just like come out with hell yeah

we've i mean i think the fact that we've sold dolls in our likeness is really under it's kind of it's just kind of paint us into a corner i mean just the whole vibe with daft punk of not really knowing what they i mean they this is what they sound like they sound like you know robots singing unless they have pharrell on a track and then it's the robots backing pharrell with some music like it's a very smart move to to sort of be a bit obscure this way uh because you can do this for a long time also they they announced their retirement in what i can only say is the most daft punk way possible they released like a seven and a half minute video Which I watched today twice It's the two Daft Punk guys Walking on probably the Bonneville Salt Flats, Andrew Where you were recently doing donuts I mean something that looks very Or they're on Mars Something that looks very much like that Just a very barren landscape They're in their full helmets They're walking Then one of them stops There is no dialogue One of them stops And kind of goes on ahead of the other one And then they have a moment they pause and then they come close together they take another moment one of them like unzips his jacket and turns around and he has a timer on his back and they take a minute and then the other guy hits the timer and it starts counting down and then they walk apart and then they blow up I love it and then a Daft Punk song starts playing for like three minutes like of the video half of it is just a song and I have to say like it's a little if you if you weren't inclined towards Daft Punk you're like okay guys this is a little dramatic but if you're me and you are inclined towards Daft Punk I like this is the perfect way for these guys to go out

by the way you mentioned the helmets thing for you and I hadn't really considered that but as I did read this article I did think about this video I love the idea like if we had to blow up our podcast or like say goodbye I love the idea of like pushing a button and us blowing up maybe not in reality but you know maybe figuratively maybe literally I don't know this is gonna be a long strange trip I believe but yeah that's That does seem that I haven't really watched it. I've only read the description. Now, is it true that this was like something that this was something that they are. This is an excerpt from a longer movie they've made.

Right now, I what I gathered and I hadn't seen the previous video was that this was in the style of a video they had already done that didn't have any dialogue. Like they had already made some kind of movie at some point previously in their career, some kind of short film. And this was sort of the sequel to it, if you will. I don't think it was I didn't get the sense that it was an excerpt from a pre-existing thing I had I got the feeling it was a sort of continuation of a of a style that they had been sort of putting out there I could I'm not I don't know if Entertainment Tonight Canada is the best source for this but they refer to it as an excerpt from their 2006 film Electroma really well that's interesting honestly and I'm saying that like I'm not even joking I'm not trying to dunk on ET Canada but like also

In these entertainment stories, like things sometimes like people are just filling in gaps where they assume something. I just feel like I run into a lot more misinformation and entertainment related stuff. So it could be what you're saying. But this particular article I'm looking at calls it an excerpt.

Well, Alt Press says Daft Punk just announced they are breaking up after 28 years together with this powerful new video. I see. Yeah. So I don't – the performers – now I'm reading from KBJR6 News. That's where I get most of my Daft Punk info. They've announced they're breaking up after 28 years. The electronic performers shared the news Monday in an eight-minute video called Epilogue. So I actually don't know, but it is actually – it is relevant if this is new content or not because if it was just something that they had done before they broke up, Like they just thought this is an interesting artistic thing And then they just grabbed it and put it up on the internet As a way to say that they're breaking up That's one thing That'd be like you and me ending TBTL And then going and grabbing an old episode where we were in an argument And just like putting it up and going This typifies what's going on with us Or creating a new piece of art As a way of saying it's the end of the line for us And I don't know the answer One way or the other if it's an excerpt Or if it's not But the only reason that I'm Drilling down into that question is because, to me, if they made this thing, this is a new original content, I love it. If it's just old content they did, I still think it's pretty cool, but I love it 5% less.

I think it might be 5% less. Pitchfork is calling it an excerpt from a video titled Epilogue excerpted from their 2006 film Electroma. And I do actually trust Pitchfork, you know, on this kind of stuff. Yeah, no, I... Wait, here I am making things less fun again.

You trust Pitchfork more than KBJR6.com?

Honestly, though, KBJR6, or whatever you just said, boy, good retention, Walsh, does sound like a good source for, like, robot-related news and robot music-related news. It kind of does. You know what they are?

They're your weather authority in Duluth, Minnesota. They're followed by our friend Brandy Brown.

Who loves you, baby?

KBJR6. Speaking of going on Twitter I was getting a lot of Twitter engagement This morning on my silly tweet Having watched the video Which we now know is an excerpt And they're on what looks like a Martian landscape to me And it looks like they're kind of You know they're breaking up I said that Daft Punk Breaks up amidst rumors that the one dude Cheated with the Perseverance rover Because they just They just look like they're on Mars And like one of them, they're both robots and one of them fell in love with the Perseverance rover, and now that's the end of their band. And the people seem to be retweeting that with a high degree of regularity.

This is interesting. I want to quickly look at your Twitter account. So in the Twitter search bar, I type in Luke Burbank, and then the top results are for people first. You would think you would be first, but Ross and Burbank is the first thing to pop up, then Luke Burbank, then Too Beautiful to Live when you search for Luke Burbank in Twitter. Do you think that's weird? That's not good SEO. We need to kill this Ross and Burbank Twitter account. I think I still have the keys to it. Should I blow it up right now? Ooh, should we post the video of Daft Punk blowing each other up and then remove the account 24 hours later?

I knew this day was going to come, Andrew. And I still don't really have the words to tell you. I'm still doing Ross and Burbank with a different producer. We've been doing it This whole time we faked the end of Ross and Burbank It's sort of because we wanted to get a different Producer in there it's Tina again Isn't it it is Tina Noel from large

Media yeah Well that does hurt my feelings A great deal that was one of The most I mean listen how can that job Compare to what we're doing now but that was A very heady time That was so much fun. That really was. That was one of the most – because that's also – there was a time where I was brand new doing TBTL with you and our professional main gigs were working together on an actual radio show that was a little bit more serious. But like the blurring of those lines, doing shows from the baseball stadium, such a really fun, fun couple of years doing that show and TBTL at the same time. Let's do it again.

You know, I agree with you because, well, first of all, I, like is the case in most of my life, did not fully appreciate how much, I mean, I was having fun, don't get me wrong, but I was, I don't think I realized in that moment, oh, this is one of the more fun times of my life, you know? Like, yeah, getting to work with my good friend and be on a radio station where we're going out live on the air for three hours a day to, you know, probably a fairly large number of people. I mean, I love the pod cart life, and I love that we get to do this. And this is, in its own weird way, kind of my dream job. But there is something that is fun about being on the regular radio where people can just get in their car, go somewhere, and turn it on. Almost sort of happen upon your show, whereas with podcasting, they have to intentionally choose to be there. And so I That was a really fun time because we were both Getting to do this thing this weird Super duper personal And small time Communication form and then also go Out on the radio and do that kind of Other format it was really fun to have both of those things And yeah just all of the Weird little projects that We did and things like that so yeah that was a Great time and I don't think I appreciated enough when it was Happening but yes we have added a new producer and it's not as good I'll be honest with you Andrew and that's on me I thought that there was I thought there was some basically some balls that got dropped while you were producing the show I thought we could improve things with Tina Null and I wish we could go back I wish I could do it over again is what I'm trying to say. She's now the

longest running co-bro of that show then because she would have been doing it for much longer than I held the job at this point you know I thought things were going well when I booked the guy in the hospital bed who accidentally ingested a grill uh brush what do you call it a one of the little wires from a grill brush he ingested it it got lodged in his intestine you said we need to talk to that guy on the radio and a mere hours later you're talking to him live from his hospital bed yet here i am out of a job i don't know what went wrong well tina was able to get us an interview

with the grill piece that was stuck wow that is pretty good which involved getting uh one of the hospital staff to dig through his feces, pull out that little metal shard and then we interviewed that and honestly, that won us a peabody. I'm sorry, that won us a poop body. Come on! That's a decent joke. It is.

And I hate to admit it. I hated that you went there and I hated everything about that, but you did stick the landing. Yeah, thank you.

Thank you. Well, R.I.P. to the collaboration of Daft Punk, but long live Daft Punk, because I will still be I'll be bumping their music for years and years to come. I want to just play this real quick before we get to the emails and emails. Once again, the Simpsons, you know, they say there's a tweet for everything. And then they also say there's like a Simpsons joke for everything. And that is very true of the Ted Cruz Cancun situation. and this has kind of been bopping around the internet since last week, they actually had a plot line where there was a big problem in Springfield, and Mayor Quimby wants to go to the Bahamas, but he's supposed to stay home because of, as they call it on this episode, the epidemic, which was kind of funny, actually, because when I played this initially, I just heard pandemic, because I'm so used to pandemic. Although, I'll be honest with you, like, two years ago, I don't think I'd have, well, I'd rarely heard Or used the word pandemic I would have much more Frequently used the word Epidemic right

Yeah sure of course

And then now Pandemic is the default I was playing this This morning Addie is over this weekend And she's Work WFD Work from dads Oh She's in the living room Working And I was playing this drop And she goes Did they say epidemic Or pandemic I was like They said pandemic And then I played it again I was like No they say epidemic But anyway There's an epidemic In Springfield And Merrick Quimby Wants to go to the Bahamas But he knows He's going to get in trouble So he tries to pretend

he's not in the bahamas people of springfield because of the epidemic i have canceled my vacation to the bahamas i shall not leave the city hey you get that steel drum out of the uh

mayor's office sorry man there he is he's on a beach in the caribbean you realize the backdrop is fake and a rasta dude with steel drum walks through the shot Here we go.

Now, my question to you, Andrew, is were the Simpsons writers that good or is there just so much Simpsons content that they're going to have predicted a lot of stuff? Because this has been a big thing going back, I don't know, maybe four or five years where anytime something happens, you can go find a Simpsons episode where something similar happened.

Yeah, I got to say, and this is me. I don't I'm seriously don't want to be no fun.

Are you going to tell me this is an excerpt from an old Simpsons episode?

This is an excerpt from a Daft Punk film.

Hold on, let me check my Duluth guys

This one, I saw this bouncing around the internet This, this didn't Blow my mind as much And again, I could be talked out of this Boy, can you talk me into Having something blow my mind Like, it It doesn't What am I even trying to say Watching this Simpsons clip Doesn't seem that unique Maybe it's because I've just seen it before And part of my brain is remembering it But it's like, yeah, politicians do Scummy things and I don't know I mean now I'm talking myself into I guess it is Pretty specific like I guess I Saw things bouncing around the internet that said like They did it again and like they Specifically find a picture Of Ted Cruz that looks like Mayor Quimby and so I'm seeing All the like the two by two shots and then this morning I actually watched the clip and I was like yeah Like I did that was that was my reaction like Yeah but it so I guess to Answer your question what was the question I guess to answer your question I sort of feel like Yeah I mean they've produced 38 years how long have they been on the air I think you just said it like 30 some years of content and the idea and they have a main character who is known as being a lousy politician who puts himself first and is always trying to like kind of flim flam the people so this one didn't seem like oh my gosh so specific I feel like there were some like Lisa ones in the past that maybe were like whoa that's really close yeah

I guess it just struck me the similarities in this one maybe maybe i got uh influenced by the fact that they did do a side-by-side where they found i guess it would be ted cruz more clean shaven than he's currently doing um but they they were that side-by-side was sort of surprisingly like uh similar so maybe it put me in the mind of like wow that's a weird similarity like they look the same and then this is a tropical location during an epidemic although i guess if we're gonna get really hardcore with this it the the the pandemic was not the primary issue it would be like if mary quimby left during a freeze over of springfield that would have been that would be eerie so maybe this is a little bit uh a less eerie um but uh anyway i don't know i thought it was yeah i just feel like it's been

coming up a lot yeah and again like i'm seriously not trying to take the piss out of it i'm just being kind of honest about like kind of my reaction to it's like oh yeah i mean that makes sense um i will say this though one great thing to come out of this whole conversation is i am now going to open a bar called work from dads um and if anybody's interested in uh helping me fund

this endeavor get at me see the only problem with that is you know all those bars that are called like the library and stuff or the office i should say it's like you know so you can be like i'm at the office it's like if you're like a maybe 54 year old guy and you're into your third bush mills and your your old lady calls where are you i'm at dad's what he died years ago it does not quite Oh, I have a quick question Maybe work from daddies is better now

There you go

Should we work from poppies Do you think Ted Cruz could have gotten away with this If he was Tried to go harder on his disguise

Like full on Fake glasses and nose and mustache

Yeah, because he gets to have a mask on Like I've seen all the pictures that everybody has seen of him in the airport he is actually wearing glasses but they're pretty like they're pretty minimal and so they don't change his appearance drastically and he like uh what i'm wondering is like first of all the concept i mean the consequences have been bad for him in that he's gotten totally roasted over this i mean of course if you'd seen him in a if he was in what was obviously a disguise and got caught that would be like that'd be real bad triple bad but i feel like he could have gotten away with this if he would have just gone a little further with the ruse like if he would have just because of the i mean if he wears two masks and one of those face shields and he's got a ball cap on and he's wearing dark glass i mean there's a point at which he could have very much obscured his physical appearance and if he said and i don't think his wife is particularly she's not well known enough that people would see her eyes and go that's gotta to be heidi cruz like i think if he would have if he would have leaned harder into trying to change his appearance i think he could have gotten away with this whole thing all he had to do is put

on a hat and act like a compassionate honor honest human being and nobody would have recognized him. That's right. Exactly.

Here I go once again with the email every week. I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female. All right.

It's the moment everyone's been waiting for. The results of the poll online as to if Thousand Island is a dressing or condiment.

This is good timing. No joke. We set this poll up during Friday's show, and I said I'm going to put it on a timer so that it'll just last throughout the weekend. I just got a notice about three minutes ago saying, your poll is done. It's closed. We're not taking any more votes at this time. Is Thousand Island a condiment is the question on the table. I would like to remind everybody the origin of this because this is, in case you're new here, Or in case we just need a reset here, I want to remind people that specifically I thought that calling it a condiment in a trivia question where Thousand Island was the answer was intellectually dishonest. I think saying, as a matter of fact, I believe our friend Amy Wu, who was hosting the trivia party where this all broke wide open. I think she over the weekend posted the original question that and I can't find it here because why would I be prepared for this segment that we set up three damn days ago? I've been getting a lot of emails, a lot of texts. I mean, this conversation has blown up this argument. And I will say most people are saying that Thousand Island, this is not the official poll here, but most people are getting at me saying that Thousand Island is definitely a condiment. In the newsletter, I listed things that I believe to be condiments, such as ketchup and mayonnaise. And a lot of people are saying, a lot of people are saying that those are two of the main ingredients in Thousand Island. So why would I consider Thousand Island not to be a condiment and only a dressing when it's mostly made up of other condiments, which is an interesting argument right there? A lot of people were saying the definition of a condiment is anything that you add to food to give it flavor. And that also sometimes includes salt and pepper. That opens up a whole nother argument there. I do not consider salt and pepper to be condiments, but some people do. It's very controversial.

I do consider them to be here in effect, though.

As well you should. But when it comes to the actual question of whether or not it's a condiment, I just want to remind people, my issue was the fact that somebody asked a question about a condiment and the answer was Thousand Island. I don't think that's the clearest way to ask that question for whatever that's worth. Going to the poll now on Twitter. At TBTL, is Thousand Island a condiment? 437 votes. These are the final results. Originally posted at 1037 a.m. on February 19th. 2021 from the Twitter web application. We've got to get a longer drum roll. With three retweets, three quote tweets, and three likes, 59.5% of the audience said, yes, Thousand Island is a condiment. 59.5%. You didn't quite get to the 60%. You predicted a 80-20, so I'm going to take the victory.

I don't have a super majority. I have long called for filibuster reform as it relates to our condiment polls. And once again, I think this points out why, because it's ridiculous that I'm not able to move this legislation forward with almost 60 percent of the votes. No, actually, you're right about this, Andrew. It's closer than I expected. I thought it would be a runaway. And, you know, there was 40.5 percent of the people who said no.

I love the fact, too, that it's not quite to 60. Like, that gives me a little bit of pleasure here. Like, I don't know why. And also, like, to be honest, like, I do think I've come around for what it's worth. I do think that people have raised a lot of good arguments. And I think it is, like, my perspective on this was very much colored by the fact that I don't like Thousand Island and I don't eat it. And so I consider it as something different. I mean, I do think it's interesting that when you go to, like, Annie's, I don't know if you ever go to Annie's Organic Dressings. They're very good. I went to the website.

And they list all their salad dressings and Thousand Island is one of the bottles there right next to, you know, shiitake mushroom vinaigrette. And you're just like, what is the vinaigrette a condiment too? But people are saying actually, yes, you add it to food to enhance the flavor. But I think that if a quiz question was if the answer was vinaigrette, you wouldn't say what condiment you would say what dressing.

Right. And all you're saying is and again, I'm Team Woo. I tweeted at her to that effect, but, like, your point is just if you were writing that question, you would write the exact same question. It had to do with the U.S.-Canadian boundary and where this was invented, and you would have just said this dressing. That's what I would have said, and now people are saying this condiment.

Dressings are considered, people are saying that the main argument here is that, and Genevieve is the first person, I think, to bring this argument directly into my office and into my family. But she said, I believe condiments are an umbrella term and dressings fit underneath that, which I guess is the case. But, you know, we also want to be precise when it comes to, here's the question, by the way, I finally got here. Hold on one second here. I'm going to use my mute button here for a second, Luke.

Okay, hold on.

Okay, I had to cough. I didn't want to stifle a cough during this whole thing. Amy Wu says, in light of the most recent TBTL newsletter, I think it is important to also submit the text of said question into evidence. This was round six. Question number one. According to food historians, what condiment? And for some reason, what condiment is underlined? Again, I think leading me even further astray. According to food historians, what condiment was invented sometime between 1900 and 1904 somewhere along the U.S.-Canada border on an archipelago in the St. Lawrence River? Amy follows up to say, the question referenced an archipelago, which condiment question aside should have clued you in? Because what is that? It's a group of islands.

I have to be honest, Andrew. I think I've come over to your side. Yeah because of the question Yeah well Even just as we were talking about it Because I think I on Friday Like many of the people I got kind of caught up in the I am of the opinion That Thousand Island is a condiment As are almost 60% Of the people who voted Very near to 60% of the people But the question that I think you were raising On Friday was a slightly different one Which was is that the best way to phrase the question Like Because the exact same question could have happened and just say dressing because I would say Thousand Island is more known as a dressing than as a condiment. It is a condiment, but it is, I think in my mind, it's 51% dressing and 49% condiment. So, and that was what your basic issue was. Well, I mean, actually, I don't know. You were trying to first make the argument it wasn't a condiment. But if we agree that it is a condiment, I still think that question could have been written a little more clearly by just calling it a dressing.

I've been living with this and thinking about it, right? And, of course, the idea that Archipelago is in there, and that's a hint within the question. You know, that's some next-level stuff. And then I'm thinking, well, what is the responsibility? I'm sorry.

Got to get a longer drum roll. All right.

I'm sorry about that. We'll take it from each.

We're going to get some Daft Punk music, and we're going to get on out of here.

I do not know what it is. It is not. can you not hear me i can hear you right now yes sorry i don't know why i'm getting i'm coughing

um but i don't think i had some um i had some larb i there's a place here in portland called thai pk that i am loving jerry it's uh as the name would indicate they have thai food but what they have is uh some really good uh non-meat options so there is a salad that's called a a larb guy that I loved in my meat-eating days. It's chicken and lime juice and all kinds of just really yummy flavors. And they make one that doesn't have the chicken in it. It's just got little chunks of tofu. And it just tastes exactly like what I was going for. It's also very healthy and fresh and all of that. I was eating some the other night, and I had just a giant globule of spicy larb guy juice go down the wrong pipe. and andrew i wondered if i was ever going to be okay like i wondered if i was ever going to be able to speak with the same speaking voice because my voice was like like it i thought i had done permanent damage it took an hour an hour for it to feel normal and to clear out and for me to be able to speak in a normal voice again i know it's like we always said growing up something

went down the wrong pipe yep and when something i said that too but i went goes down the wrong just so everybody is assured that i am not sick with the covid um what happened there was uh i have a tissue in my hand and somehow i think i inhaled a tiny bit of dust off of this dry tissue and that hit the back of my throat and that was embarrassing uh i know we want to move on i just want to say that i i have been thinking a lot about what the responsibility of a quiz master is in this context because i don't take a lot of quizzes and i am willing to accept that i'm even wrong on this question issue because that's the point you're trying to like if it's within the letter of the law but you tricked us maybe that's exactly what a quiz master is supposed to do right uh-huh so i can sort of like not make it too easy but i just want people to know i just wanted to remind everybody that this was the context from which this all sprouted i wasn't like just because there's just been a lot of conversations going around lately about taking words literally and I'm trying to be less strict with my approach to language and understanding that language evolves. This has come up a couple of times recently in other things that I've said on the show. And it's kind of like, yeah, you know what? Language does evolve. And I don't know. I just think it's kind of an ugly look to just be mad all the time if people are using a new meaning for a word that's been around for a long time. Because that's how it works. And I realize my whole life I've been really rigid on that stuff. And it's a bad look. So I'm trying to be more open. But it was just in the quiz context.

Yeah, no, I can see that. I mean, I think if you would have started on Friday from the official position of – although we wouldn't have had the fun that we got to have with the whole. So I think from a content standpoint, it was like everything worked out the best way that it could have. But I think if on Friday morning you would have said, look, I'm not here to debate whether or not Thousand Island is technically also a condiment in addition to being a dressing. I just want to say There's a clearer way To write this question I think I would have been With you from day one But the good news was We were able to have fun The listeners were able To engage Nobody got hurt Except Your Ego Thank God I didn't go to 60% Because you may not have Ever recovered from that Well I wouldn't have been On the show Clap back Then this would I'd have to go out And hire Tina Noel For this gig as well That's what I was going to say

Honestly Giving Tina a lot of press today Our relationship's not great either

Yeah right Hey I thought we could go out with a daft punk song how about yes i would like to i'd like to play it from my side but can you tell me what to play how about we go this might be their most popular song but one more time is a is a fun is a fun number on a monday to put a little a put a little energy into the room put a little wind in everyone's sails um i know that you're gonna know this song when you hear it oh yeah oh yeah baby

all right um i don't i don't recognize this part of it but i might you will turn it up

it probably builds for a long time this sounds like you're playing it from my computer i was gonna say i'm playing this off of spotify that's definitely a very very compressed version i mean it's spotify so one more time there it is ah there we go all right you love to hear it all All right, thanks for listening, everyone. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Please do join us for that. Until then, enjoy your Monday. Stay safe, mask up, and please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

We'll be right back. One more time, we're gonna celebrate Oh yeah, all right Don't stop the dancing One more time, we're gonna celebrate Oh yeah One more time Power out