Muse

What's up? We're the Tool cover band, Flaccid. Thanks for joining our live stream. As you probably saw on Facebook, we had to cancel our show tonight at the Diamond Bar Team Center because of this whole virus shit and because someone set it on fire. But music is how we as individuals express ourselves, so that's why we're live streaming our show tonight. You know, stuff right now is really scary, but we can't let it affect the things that are important to all of us, like Tool cover band shows. so i'm sure we're picking up a bunch of new fans on the live stream so just a little bit more about flaccid we are a tool cover band but we also just transitioned into doing our own original tool

songs this first one is called microcosm hit it unlock the shadow secrets religion belongs in a dungeon the puzzle has no answer we are lost inside of a cube i wield the sword of privilege to fight against the puzzle master's daughter the puzzle master's secret is eternal he told a secret to a big spider thank you um a little bit more about our band um

everyone in flaccid is a hardcore atheist we are firm believers in the power of logic and also in magic and witchcraft also hit us up in the comments if you drum tbtl

now my whole house is great i can do anything good my whole house is great i can do anything good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can do anything good. I came here to do two things, eat eggs

and nothing. And I'm not out of either. How about like pranking an animal? Don't take

this the wrong way, but you've just been kind of hanging around a lot lately, which isn't

a bad thing, but it's also not a good thing. Like if they do good, put it on YouTube. If they do bad, cancel it.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

This song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Coming to you from beautiful Boise, Idaho.

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

The city of trees. where the local weathercaster yesterday on TV said, and I like this, I like this kind of swashbuckling swagger. She said, look, the official start of spring is in a couple of weeks, something to do with some kind of an equinox. But she said, I'm calling it. I'm calling this the beginning of spring because we are going to have a beautiful week here in Boise. Blue skies, warm temperatures. got out for a little jog this morning, got up to the Camelback Trail. Boy, that's about as beautiful a view of a city and mountain range as you'll ever see. So, as you can tell, I am in fine fettle here on this Monday morning and ready to get at you with episode 3,369 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. It's also nice that it's another one of those months where the first day of the month is also a Monday. Monday, March 5th Everything just feels aligned Things feel symmetrical The dates feel like they are in the place They are supposed to be And you are where you should be Listening to this episode of TBTL We have a special edition of Top Stories today We're calling it Welcome to the Internet Welcome to the Internet Because each and every story Gets its origin on the Internet Although honestly Pretty much all news stories At least the way you find out about any news story now would be via the internet. Maybe you're getting paper delivery of a newspaper. Maybe you're walking down the street and you heard a town crier crying something. But most of the time, I mean, the default setting of this show really is just welcome to the internet.

Welcome to the internet.

But these stories all seem extremely online, including the fact that the Golden Globes was conducted via Zoom last night. I hate to say it, it was kind of cool. There was some fun, there were some fun elements to the nominees being at home and just kind of getting to see into their lives maybe differently than you would where they assembled at the Beverly Hilton in LA as they normally would be but there was one mess up that was such a bad mess up and it was The one mess up that you could not do if you were the Golden Globes this year. It was literally a major disaster. We'll play you that mess up so you can also cringe along with everybody who saw it in real time. And then, I'm not a cat. I'm here. I'm a surgeon zooming into traffic court. Yes, a surgeon in Sacramento zoomed in to traffic court to argue a traffic ticket. We may need emergency surgery in the studio. We will play you the exclusive audio of that. And by exclusive, I mean it's on YouTube. You could literally just probably go listen to it right now and actually be ahead of the curve because we're not going to get to it for 45 minutes. But anyway, we will play you the audio of that. Plus emails and V-mails, and this guy, the longest-running cobro of the show, he may be best known for his drawings of the tall ships. Is it depictions? He may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Have I been saying that wrong for going on four years now? It's possible. Louie, what is that? I'm like, I don't know. What is it? It's an Andrew Walsh, and he's joining us right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

hey Luke I've been um debating something for like literally the past four minutes while you've been talking and I think I've made the decision to raise something with you but I want you to know that in all seriousness I'm not doing this to get in your head or to ruin your flow because I think you had a lot of flow today but your your mouth and your brain disconnected just for one second during the intro now this is something that happens to me all the time during the show I'll be talking quickly and i'll say a word and you'll just interrupt me and say wait do you mean blank and i did mean blank and i didn't even realize that i was using completely different words than what i thought i was saying you did that when you were talking about the weeks and the days of the week you said it's another wonderful month where uh the monday is the first of the month it's a monday march 5th oh i said this you said fifth and i and i heard it and I could have let it go, it's a small thing I'm going to say maybe half our listeners noticed Half aren't even paying attention They don't even turn up the volume until I start talking Probably, no offense But anyway, it was just a weird thing I guess I kind of felt like I needed to set the record straight Even though if anybody heard that mistake They would know it was just a mistake And they don't need me calling it out Or reprimanding you at the top of the show So I don't know if I made the right call here

What about the people that are listening to this On Monday, March 5th?

In another year, that's a good point

to them i just ruined the magic 20 years but somewhere in the future there will be a monday march 5th and um and those people are going to feel very super served did you ever think for a minute that that's where my mind that i'm playing three-dimensional podcasting am i wrong in

thinking that that would be five years from now now this is where people will legitimately get mad because i don't understand the calendar or math but wouldn't it be five years like next year wouldn't monday it would migrate one day per year i mean that sounds logical but i know so

little about this for instance i thought today was monday march 5th when it is in fact march

first anyway it is the first and you're right i didn't even notice that it's two months in a row and i think that usually probably february and march line up like that so we had the perfect the platonic ideal of a calendar week in february and now we're starting off march the same way Like you said, that meteorologist down there is just like she's like, I didn't see no shadow. I'm calling it. It's I like that a lot.

I feel like, you know, meteorologists, I think, you know, the local TV weather people are. I mean, I think most of the time they're just sort of in a defensive hunch. Because if the weather is not to people's liking, somehow it's the meteorologist's fault or if they are predicting a lot of snow because that's what the weather models are telling them. And then it doesn't happen. They're somehow the scapegoat, even though they were just the kind of the messenger. I can only imagine being a meteorologist in a, you know, a sort of a small-ish American city like Boise, although I will say Boise has a lot going for it. I mean, you and I have, of course, visited before this town, but I'm staying in a different part of town, and I'm amazed at how much stuff is going on here. But that being said, when you are a local meteorologist in a relatively small town, you are kind of a major celebrity. I learned this when years and years ago I was dating a gal who lived in Spokane, Washington, or had grown up there. And we drove—actually, is that true? Yes, I think it was Spokane. We drove over there one time and we were watching TV with her mom and this this a woman and her mom knew chapter and verse on every. single TV newscaster and who had her mom was updating her on so-and-so had moved over to this station and it was just like now maybe they were just uniquely obsessed as a family but I do think that when you're in a kind of a smaller place and there is somebody who's on TV talking about local issues those people become very well known in the community and I like that this meteorologist she's just said you know what I'm setting the terms of this relationship I'm calling it spring you know haters to the left okay i'm just going for it and i just like that kind of

swagger and i think you're right i think that you are right that meteorologists are sometimes maligned because you know i kind of grew up in this cynical culture i don't even know who these cynics were but i feel like the joke was always like yeah you can't trust the weatherman you know the weatherman back then you can't can't trust those bozos supposed to rain today i bet global warming um And there is maybe still a little bit of that, but mostly they are beloved. I'll bet you if, you know, in normal times, restaurants are open, you see the local meteorologist of, you know, Boise, Live on 5 Boise, like, you're pretty excited. And you're wondering, do I say hello or not?

It may have been KBOI, the CBS station here in Boise. I agree with you that local weather personnel, I think people have, when they see them, IRL probably generally a warm feeling. But I bet you that it is just a constant stream of like, boy, glad I didn't listen to you last Tuesday. I would have been stuck in a rain shower.

Hey, here's the receipt for my car wash. It wasn't supposed to rain on Tuesday, was it?

I feel like the default small talk that local TV meteorologists get while in public is probably the most soul-crushing of the default-setting small talk.

Wow. What about the investigative reporters? What about your get-Jessies? That might not be small talk, but I could see that being more like, hey, you got to help me. My neighbor built a fence, but it's one inch over the line. Or, you know, just like petty grievances or like some bozo saying, hey, somebody keeps throwing their dog poo in my garbage can. And I live on a pretty like commercial area, but I'm a resident and it's a unique situation that you should look into.

Yeah, I definitely think your ear gets bent a lot if you're seen as the public advocate in that way or advocate for the public. But some of those stories, though time-consuming and most of them not going anywhere, a couple of them are probably going to be real juicy. Like, hey, can I talk to you about something that's been going on with my significant other or somebody at my work? Or, like, the weather ones just feel banal.

Yeah, nobody's giving you hot tips on the weather. That'd be amazing. Hey, I got a great scoop for you. It's going to rain on Friday.

How about weather on your side where you can complain to the meteorologist about your life and somehow they control the weather to fix it?

I like that. Wow.

Just a reporter chasing a rain cloud around as it's trying to enter its place of business without making a comment? Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, one question. Sir, you're on the record as saying that we were going to have half an inch of precipitation and yet you dumped four inches on Wednesday. Sir, do you have a comment on this?

I have no comment at this time. I'm just trying to be with my family. If you could just give us the space that we need, thank you.

It's very sad that this is the way that my brain works, but I assume at some point I'll need to have a plan for this kind of stuff. When I see people who are being hounded by the media because of some sort of scandalous behavior, and I watch how they comport themselves, I try to learn from that. So when I'm in that situation, I will handle it in whatever the best way possible is. And I don't even know. I don't have like a kind of a, you know, an action plan on this. But there just seems like there's a way to handle it that makes it worse. And there's a way to handle it that might at least not make it worse.

You know what I mean? I thought your plan was just to open up your wallet, pull out a small piece of paper, slowly unfold it, look directly at the reporter and say, is bowling a sport?

That's that's that. We got to leave that to our friend Ross Reynolds.

Yes, we do. That's what he always said. This is a I mean, that would put them on their heels. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Right, right. Suddenly you're the worm has turned now. Now they have to answer your question. I think here let's practice.

I think I would say something here. Why don't you am I am I the reporter or am I the person embroiled in the scandal?

Let's start with you being the reporter. You can ask me. You can be specific or vague. I'm going to give you the same answer no matter what.

Okay, so it doesn't matter what your scandal is? Nope, because I think I know the basic tone I'm going to go for. We're just testing this out. I'm not saying I'm right. I just want to give the first pass at this.

Mr. Walsh, we have credible reports that you've been leaving notes on various cars in your neighborhood criticizing their parking. You've even yelled real polite car at someone. We caught that one on the Whole Foods security camera. Any comment at this time about your behavior?

Wow. I will say these are very serious allegations and we're going to take them very seriously. I need to learn more about this situation, but I want you to know that this is I share your concern and we're going to look more into this.

Thank you, Andrew. I got to tell you, I don't know if this is. I knew that was going to be too loud, but I don't care. What was that? That was applause being played at about 100. And I'm in a hotel room in Boise playing these drops with my left hand. What I meant to say was, that was a very, very, I almost want you to get embroiled in a scandal now.

Do you trust me less now? Why is that so at the ready, you may ask yourself? Why have I been practicing in the mirror?

All joking aside, that was an extremely good response. You're acknowledging something happened. You're not acknowledging you made the something happen. And that's why this is so genius in your parsing. We can all agree something happened and we can all agree it should be taken very seriously.

My backup plan, though, is just to say that's weird.

Well, that's why the bowling response is kind of, you know, I mean, it's, of course, depends on the level of scandal and what we're talking about. But let's just say it's I mean, here's what I do hope is that if I'm ever embroiled in a scandal that is not of the very serious variety, like when we look back on it historically, I will have the presence of mind to maintain my chill, because that's where like the bowling thing, like if it was like, let's just say there was a tempest in a teapot. And I don't know what that would be over. And this is an interesting point in our kind of development as people and as a country, because there are a lot of conversations going on. A lot of them are really important around how people behave. So I don't know what this kind of hypothetical scandal is that I'm in. That's really not that big of a deal. but like to just sort of like i guess what i mean is channel my inner bill murray because that's the guy who would take out the note and go do you think bowling's a sport like that would be a real bill murray pull and i feel like again with the caveat that we're not talking about something truly terrible i feel like then people would be like ah bill murray you've won us back with your just kind of bill murrayness like if the scandal was you have been putting

flyers you allegedly have been putting flyers around your building that are anti-management in nature and in some cases even using um salty language uh against an individual named thomas at the front desk and um you know like it's it's it started off small enough but it's gotten it's raising the level of oh you really should you know it's getting into a little bit of harassment here But it's also, you know, you're just, you know, using the the age old process of pamphleting to get your point across.

I think of it more like I own a tanning salon and it comes out. This is getting more into the seven on your side. The tanning salon, it turns out I have been running the tanning beds at only 80 percent. So as to save money on my electric bills. but I'm charging everyone full price so I'm kind of skimming and this has now been reported to the local TV and they're standing outside of my suntan place which, let's see, in Portland a tanning place would be called like Good Day Sunshine Oh, I like that. I was thinking

Fonzing with Fonzing

Or like Caftan No, that's just an actual outfit people wear fine and tandy oh where's my bell fine and tandy that could be my tanning booth anyway so the reporters are clustered outside of fine and tandy and i walk up and they say sir sir sir uh what is your response to the allegations that you have been running the tanning beds at 80 i'll go your customers are complaining and i go i don't know they look pretty tan to me and then i just saunter into the building that's a cool guy move in that situation like i'm not even going to engage with this i don't know they look pretty tan to me like what are you going to

do with that guy yeah i don't know i just like to be tan it just feels good that's really good that's a good scenario too i like everything i like your scenario i like that

name you came up with i found basically it turns out i found the one scandal we can all agree doesn't matter yeah right a tanning scandal or a candle if you will now are you putting rats

in the tanning beds with the customers because that gets more serious that definitely i mean

and and that i've learned on that one which is why i'm not allowed to open a tanning salon in rhode island yeah any longer but um but no although that one was called oh rats tanning

so it was right there like

let's take a quick break and then when we come back I don't have any illusions that you watched the Golden Globes last night Andrew

no I did not

but I would like to tell you about them because I did watch some of them and it was kind of entertaining believe it or not and there was a moment that causes and I'm going to use some coarse language here nobody tell Jesse Jones caused my bunghole to pucker my friend I can use that word question i don't know johnson once used it when ordering pants so i feel like it's okay you

you're using lyndon johnson as an example of what's appropriate as it relates to the word bunghole oh no man you need new heroes but um uh as far as language is concerned but um i don't know what the story is and this is for real a question and just answer me in a yes or no does this involve race in any way andrew this is a very important question

and I think it needs much consideration.

I'm going to step back and use this time to listen. You said it was the one mistake that they really couldn't make, and I know that they've been much criticized for not being equitable and everything, so I just wasn't sure if they made some mistake regarding race. But I guess we'll find out after the break.

This is what's great about our working dynamic is that I like that you don't know what happened because then I can tell you about what happened and play you the tape. So that's good. It's good that, excuse me, it's good that this is not a space that you tend to play in. So I will reveal all when we return from this short break. All right, let's thank some donors of the day. These are the wonderful, generous people who are keeping TBTL in business. Here on this March 5th, we're talking about James Watt in Oceanside, California. That's inland, right? Is it some kind of near the Mojave?

It's nowhere near the ocean. That's all I know.

I feel like I've been through Oceanside, California, but I can't remember what its distinguishing characteristic was other than I assume it's near the ocean.

Yeah, I don't know that I've been there.

Is it near Carlsbad? Because that's home of Legoland. And, of course, that's a place I visit on a yearly basis.

Why did you land there? I don't know if I'm missing a joke or if you're just being totally random.

No, I just feel like Oceanside and Carlsbad seem like they're close to each other. I'm just wondering if those are adjacent cities. And then what I was giving you a dazzling deet about Carlsbad, which is that that's where Legoland is. It is very close to Carlsbad.

You didn't just look that up? I mean, you just knew that in the back of your brain somewhere?

It's also where Tony Hawk is from.

Oh, okay. But yeah, no, they border each other. Carlsbad, right there.

So what I did there, Andrew, is a little bit of, you know, deft hosting where I bumped up against something, Oceanside, California, I didn't know anything about. But I knew it was near something I knew at least one thing about, Carlsbad. And so I deftly and imperceptibly to the listeners and James Watt shifted over to the topic I did know about. What do you know about Camp Pendleton?

Because it's also right up against Camp Pendleton.

Camp Pendleton is a large army base, correct? Large military installation?

I may have just made a mistake. It is up against Camp Pendleton South. I don't know if that's just the southern part of the base or if actually there are two bases. And Camp Pendleton South is the one next to Oceanside. Now I have undone all of your good hosting with some really bad clunky hosting of my own.

You know who forgives us? Alice Davey of Seattle, Washington. How do we know? because this is not our first mistake, and yet Alice is donating to the program.

Sorry, I got really excited there for a second. There's a woman who I volunteer with whose name is very, very similar to that, and I wasn't looking. I'm now looking at the spelling. It's a very different person, or I don't know if it's a very different person, but it's a different person. But for a second, my head almost exploded to think that this woman who I volunteer with knows of TBTL, but we're good.

I wouldn't be surprised if by this time next year the show is canceled. No, I wouldn't be surprised if by this time next year maybe somebody from your Sunday activity – because you've said that we've gotten some hop-ons, right? There's at least a person. Oh, yeah. there who now listens to this so you know yeah yeah and yeah a couple of couple of a couple of

people one who i turned into a listener through conversations which is weird uh and then just that i'm able to do that um but then um also somebody who actually was a listener before we were volunteering together and found that out later but um but this woman wouldn't fit the usual stereotype of i don't know what a stereotype of a tbtl listener is but i would just be very surprised if the person i was thinking of i mean she knows what i do for a living but i don't think that she is interested in in trying to figure out how to listen to podcasts you know um it's

is lindsey lemon one of the people that you volunteer with because she's dying yes but she's coming all the way over from bozeman montana which is quite a journey yeah she hasn't shown up in a real long time where are you lindsey she's zooming in to the feed if you'll just set up a laptop at the table where you're handing out the stuff uh well lindsey will be represented uh represented there uh lindsey thank you so much for checking in from bozeman that's you know not super far from where i am right now i'm just in this kind of mountain west area andrew where it's just like god the air is so clear and so crisp and it's just so beautiful you understand why people want to come out here um the uh football player alvin camara the new orleans saint i saw him on twitter yesterday i don't know if he was joking maybe this was just part of a thread that i didn't have the entire uh sort of content on but he said something like i just i'm in montana i've just been breathing montana air for a couple of hours and i bought a house i live in montana now leave me alone and i don't know if that really means like alvin camara is in montana right now maybe he's kicking it with lindsey lemon but he he's uh i wonder what it was like for listener lindsey lemon when liz lemon when the ascension of liz lemon happened It is similar, yeah Because I wonder if people might call Lindsay Lins You know, hey what's up Lins So she might be Lins Lemon Yeah That's eerily close

Do you have any drops? I'm trying to think of a 30 rock drop that definitely contains the word Lemon Because you wouldn't sort by I mean I know some

But as we've already heard from that applause sound That I blew the listeners ears out with I'm not in the ideal situation for drop playing But everyone just imagine Jack Donaghy saying good god lemon your breath there you go did you eat a diaper you found on the beach perfect perfect you get a bell also thanks to jody martin in norman oklahoma boomer sooner beautiful nice yes i um i've been to norman oklahoma i've missed a flight to norman oklahoma one of my most frustrating uh travel experiences i know i've i bet you last year when this came up Anytime the city of Norman, Oklahoma comes up on the show, I feel obligated to share this story, but I was flying down to Norman, Oklahoma once to watch a Sooners football game. They're playing my UW Huskies, and I was standing in the waiting area on the phone with someone on the cell phone, so now we're all waiting to board this kind of small regional flight. I think it was from like maybe Chicago down to Norman and we're all standing around and it's still like 30 minutes before the plane is even to start boarding and I'm on a cell phone call with someone and I don't like being on the phone in public. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don't understand people who are able to just walk around talking into their cell phones or through their AirPods or power gloves at full volume around people they don't know. That just fills me with a deep sense of embarrassment.

It makes me angry when people do that, obviously, like in restaurants or what have you, people having loud conversations on the phone or just playing their videos on their phone without earbuds. It's like, I think that's understandable. Why does it bother me when somebody does it outside? And is it that is it because I am too insecure to do it myself? So I immediately think the other person is too cocksure. Like I was walking down the street. I was walking down the street just the other day, just coming back from the store. And there was somebody who was like two blocks behind me, but talking so loudly on his hands free device that I could hear him from two blocks away. Wow. And he's walking faster than me. He's getting closer and closer. He is yelling. he is yelling and by the time like I'm now unlocking the gate to my apartment and he passes me by he's louder than I've ever been in my life just having a conversation I believe it was about like car repair he was telling somebody blow by blow what the mechanics report had been after he

took his car in to have it you know fixed I guess there's a possibility that there might be you know some folks who their hearing is impaired in some way and so navigating the world of cell phones can be difficult, and maybe they're talking more loudly because they don't hear the same way that you and I do, although I'll tell you what, my hearing is that great.

these days either but so maybe that can be a component but yeah there's just a it feels to me like you're you're verbally farting in this waiting area for this airplane and i'd rather you didn't you're you're putting something out into the environment here that we now all have to smell with our ears yeah and i don't like it and i feel like you can do what i did when i was supposed to fly to norman oklahoma which is you can politely duck around a pillar and have your conversation and then finish the conversation and come back around the pillar and realize the plane has left without you oh god which they decided to board early andrew and leave early that's not how this that's not how any of this works i came back i was gob smacked now by the way i have missed a connecting flight in las vegas in mccarran airport because i was drunk that's a whole other kettle of slot machines i was once sitting at a slot machine playing staring at my gate where my connecting flight was about to take off so engrossed in my slot machine that i then missed my flight you don't even like slots i don't but that one was on me this one was craziness i was you know sober as a as a as a mormon i mean like a mormon that's following their rules i guess probably some mormons do get drunk and don't tell anyone about it i was i was in my i was of sound mind i was just trying to be polite about my cell phone call i ducked around this pillar literally 15 minutes later i come back around the everyone's gone the plane the door is closed i can still see the plane by the way so there's that you know that whole move i mean you don't because you

get to the airport four hours early but but remember that time they were they were boarding early and i'm okay get your words together walsh then say them um you and me and carrie were flying back from somewhere but i believe booked the flight separately but we were all on the same plane and individually carrie and i both almost missed the plane or some that i mean where was that some of the details we are coming back from something and i think maybe you weren't on the flight but you were in touch with carrie and carrie was on the oh right she heard them like announcing my name because i was like i thought i had so much time i went into the the men's room to brush my teeth which i know is something you would never we've talked about nerve or do in a public restroom but i had just eaten mcdonald's and was full of shame and the only way to get the shame out is to brush your teeth and so i was ready to do that and then there was like last call for andrew walsh i'm like it's super early like i couldn't believe they were just gonna leave me there because they decided that they could take off early if i remember this right

part of my uh sort of like just being apoplectic was that the person at the gate agent didn't seem to realize how galling this was that they had decided to leave early without me i was like the one yeah i mean this is the one agreement that we've sort of made between us and the airlines is we're not leaving early it's a bummer when they leave late that's no fun you know if you've gotten there on time and you're waiting for your flight but we can all agree early is not an option oh no

you can't agree with anything on the airlines because they hold all the marbles i know and

this woman uh was you know i don't think she was super rude but she just i just thought it was going to be a thing where she was going to call someone and have them either open the door or like if the plane had taken off this like hey come back down can you just do a touch and go and let's let burbs onto the flight because clearly we've this is this is a an absolute miscarriage of justice we are not supposed to take off early that should never happen when there's someone who has checked into the flight uh so it's presumably in the area anyway i blame only some of this on jody martin of norman oklahoma thank you very much and then i'll be honest with you douglas prindle of bothell washington doesn't get out of this unscathed either because i can't figure it out yet i haven't pieced it all together i've got a room back in portland full of maps and pieces of string connecting things and i do think somehow douglas is in on all of this and i how could he not be exactly it goes all the way to the top the top of the list of donors of the day who i love which is where you find douglas so thank you to all of our donors of the day thanks for making tb chill possible we really do appreciate you hello and welcome to top story all right our top story today the golden globes were virtual uh this year it was an interesting kind of hybrid of things so the tina fey and amy poehler co-hosted it they co-hosted it from uh different parts of the country i actually did not see their co-hosting happen in real time i didn't even know the golden globes were on we're at a different year i don't even know if i would have watched if it were a normal year and maybe if it was convenient but it's not something i would go out of my way for but i flipped on the tv in this hotel room and it was literally on that channel and so i started watching it um and and while amy uh polar and tina fey were in separate places the presenters were in the you

theater and then if i understand this right the attendees the people in there was there was you know some amount of people that were in the theater but they were first responders that seems to be the new thing that happened with i forget what the um the super bowl i think that was a lot of the tickets if not all of them were going to first responders and they had i think

they think they had a lot of first responders in a um in some sort of a luxury box or something

So this was the a lot of this was a lot of first responders and they were, you know, masked and socially distant. And so you would have the person announcing the nominees come out or persons and then they would read the nominees and then the nominees would all be on Zoom. And that actually created a kind of a fun, weird thing, which was, you know, you saw people's like pets wandering around in the background. Al Pacino looked like he's becoming a lion. I don't know if that's for a role or if it's just in that part of the process. I mean, because you also had – I assume these people have teams, right? But everyone's team did varying jobs. They did to a varying degree successful jobs of, like, lighting these people and making these people up.

Can you tell me about – because I was curious. I didn't know this was coming, and so I almost tuned in just to see what were Polar and Tina Fey. What was their deal Were they like in a presentation mode Or were they just in their homes

No no they were standing on stages That looked as if they were On the stage of the Golden Globes Good that's how I was picturing it I was hoping that was the case And they looked very very beautiful They were all done up It was like that part They did a funny bit where Tina Fey reaches over Because it kind of was like a split screen Again I didn't watch all this in real time So I could be a little bit wrong on it But I'm looking at a photo right now and there was this like obvious joke where Tina Fey is reaching over like she's patting Amy Poehler. But the arm that comes over and pats Amy Poehler is intentionally like not in sync with Tina Fey's arm. I love them. I really do. It's just off enough that it's like the joke, you know, it's a subtle joke that really plays well. But – and then, you know, so they were tasked with trying to be funny but also trying to – well, I don't know if they were tasked with it, but they chose to also address the fact that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association doesn't have any members of color, if I understand that right, and that there were a couple of notable programs that were put together by people of color that were kind of snubbed or left out. So it's been a very, it's been a sort of a controversial year for the Golden Globes just as far as the awards. There's also a, there's some sort of scandal around just the, I mean, the Hollywood Foreign Press, even 10 years ago when we weren't talking publicly about race, probably the way we should have been, everybody was kind of like, yeah, this thing is a shady organization. Like who gets in it? Who's like, what does Hollywood Foreign Press even mean? It's just kind of this weird, very insular body that like throws out and notoriously rewards shows or, you know, movies that have done a lot of money at the box office that may not be as good. Like it's just a weird ecosystem. And it's also a very white ecosystem. And so that's been, I think, rightfully criticized this year. I forget the exact line, but it was like I think it was Tina Fey's line where it was something like we have to. here's what she said uh do do do sorry i'm trying to find this on on the fly um uh oh here's here was the line um uh all of this needs to change immediately so they're like laying out the problems that people are are the criticism of this of this organization all of this needs to change immediately right after we keep doing it for the rest of the night and that's like the tension right is like hey this is bs and we this is probably not being put together in the right way but let's just do one more night of it which was right you know as the as the uh vulture said uh that employs a lot of cognitive dissonance to say that uh by the way this was katherine van arendonk and jackson mchenry were writing about this in uh vulture at new york magazine anyway like i said what was kind of cool was seeing people in their environment jason sudeikis This one for Ted Lasso for best performance, I think, in like a comedy. And it was really something.

He was just in a hoodie at his house. A lot of times, you know, when people win these things, they'll go up on stage and they'll say, I didn't expect to win. I don't have a prepared statement. He was committed to that role of not having a prepared statement. He's just like rambling. I mean, he literally just said, shoot. Wow. All right. for like easily 45 seconds oh okay this is crazy all right and he's in just like a sweatshirt he's in a hoodie which is you know kind of kind of charming because he wasn't taking it too seriously but then he's they so they show him and he's just rambling and at some point he starts talking about Tolstoy like I read this I read this uh book to my kid by Tolstoy each night and it's about the the three kind of things and he's just like and at some point like Don Cheadle had been nominated for for a different project and Don Cheadle is doing wrap it up he's literally with his fingers going in the like zoom because you're seeing everyone now you're seeing all the nominees and we now we know Jason Sudeikis is the winner but you're seeing all of them and Don Cheadle is just doing like wrap it up kind of like kind of in a teasing way or like I couldn't tell if Don Cheadle knew he was on camera or not oh no but no no I but I do think it was I bet those guys know each other through some project but like then Sudeikis kind of you know was like yeah good point Don I do need to wrap this up I mean it was exactly what needed to happen though because it could have gone okay he could still be talking right now um if he hadn't done it so I kind of liked the weirdness of the people being at their houses but here is where things went not so great andrew and you were not wrong it does in a way it sort of involves race in that uh you know it was uh it involved uh the actor daniel kalula uh sorry daniel kaluuya the guy from uh get out uh originally that's how a lot of people got to know him and then uh he he won the the big award for this judas and the black messiah film it was a black panther too i think i'm yeah so he uh is getting this big award and as we've already talked about there's like you know a lot of a kind of tension around this this award ceremony and the fact that it's far too white so would you say andrew that it would be bad if you left a very prominent black award winner on mute for their speech oh yeah like This is the Zoom night. I'm here in Boise because I'm doing a corporate event later from a sound studio or a video studio here. And this is something that will be watched by 300 salespeople from a cloud computing company. And I'm terrified of somebody being left on mute. This is that, but way worse. I'm just going to play you the tape. So Laura Dern is announcing the winner. She announces this, Daniel Kalula. and then it's just him talking not aware that he's muted Laura Dern in what I think of as maybe

the most unfortunate position you could be in standing on stage trying to vamp then they come through with this like I don't know if they had like a pre a pre-written statement that they just like put up on the prompter well just listen to this and then tell me what you think is going on

andrew so um i'll just start it here daniel kaluuya judas and the black

so he's talking i wish i could hear somebody just said i wish i could hear which is i guess what did they have everybody else's zooms up which is kind of weird like you i mean this was feeling very much like just a normal meeting you might have at your work where somebody is muted but then there's

pretty far into the evening right like they've they've heard from a bunch of people at this

point and it's gone pretty well you know like i mean from a technical standpoint um but um so he's still talking he is muted uh and um somebody's muttering somebody else on the zoom is saying i

wish i could hear him as you can see we unfortunately have a bad connection uh not true

the connection was totally fine i'm not blaming laura dern for any of this by the way uh again laura dern is living i keep it's interesting because my idea of hell keeps changing throughout the last five or six shows one time it was continually having to throw dog poop into the giant dog poop receptacle at the dog park yep and then it became something else the other day which i forget what that was but it doesn't matter because i have a new hell and it's just being on stage at the already very racially fraught golden globes as a white person while a uh a black man is being muted and i and they and somebody is saying into my earpiece vamp that's my new idea

of hell we apologize for that technical problem and send all of our congratulations to daniel

on his golden globe win now here's my question andrew do you think do you think laura dern winged that it sounded pretty poised honestly or do you think they put somebody wrote that in those five seconds or do you think they had like a stock kind of like if the connection goes down we'll put this is what

will have the presenter say thing wow i'm like the last person to ask because i haven't even seen it and i have zero lived experience in this world in in that in that space um but that's a good question i guess my gut would say that well i don't know if logically this makes sense my gut says that she winged it because i'm just going along for the ride as the viewer i guess i think

it's pre-prepared and i think it's why they said she says daniel's having technical difficulties or whatever a bad connection i think that they probably wrote something as just a boilerplate we're going to drop this in if any of this stuff goes down you know i mean if any of these connections go down then here's the but this is where this is where things take a real turn and become kind of almost more badass daniel kaluya realizes that he is muted and he's now just yelling you did me dirty you did me dirty with his extremely cool ass british accent and he gets they actually finally get him unmuted towards the end

you did me die you did me die you did me die you did me die you're my own is this on is this on cool that's my new favorite saying is

you did me die

oh don't say it in the accent Luke don't just break out that's the only way it works suddenly you just you did me die they did let

him they did you know get it fixed and he was able to give his full acceptance speech later on which was amazing and he cited Nipsey Hussle among other people and it was cool so i guess it sort of worked out eventually but i would be pretty uh i'd be pretty bummed if i was the whoever the technical director was that that was i mean you know you could have accidentally muted uh like um jeff daniels who was apparently zooming in from as people were calling it the computer room jeff daniels i don't even know what he was nominated for but the screenshots of his vibe i mean this is where the zoom the zoomification of this actually was really fun you have the whole like far ends of the spectrum like you know you have some of these folks who are just like they look amazing and they're lit so well and they're like you know uh rosamund pike who won uh for uh i care a lot which is this netflix movie i haven't seen yet but it looks really good she was in this like incredible red dress that had all this taffeta i mean it was like a visually stunning and then she won and she was kind of like playing with the dress it was like this was something out of like an art film and then you have jeff daniels who's just in one of those extremely basic like it looks like a room that would be in any ex-urban recently built three-bedroom two-car garage kind of you know in a housing development called like like sierra valley like i can just tell you from looking at the photos those doors are thin as hell like it's kind of like hollow doors that come in some of this like not particularly oh i'm looking at it now yes yes yes you know what i mean that's like there's like 11 doors in the room you know none of them are doing shit to keep the sound out the walls are totally white i don't even know if it's jeff daniels's house but it was very kind of charm he also doesn't look he's not that done up like it was just kind of charming to think that Jeff Daniels just as someone wrote just like walked down to the computer room in his house or whatever the room where you like put your scrapbooking stuff whatever the room is where you just put stuff that you don't know what to do with it he was just in that room with like zero fanfare

there's nothing on the walls

at all which makes me wonder I mean it could be that it was an Airbnb or could be that it's he you know his assistant was like I will work the a zoom for you since you're nominated for some kind of golden globe and make sure that it's

like operational right and i mean yeah so do you think what do you think his experience or his that type of person last night that jeff daniels experience do you think that like if this were normal times they're all in the audience paying attention to the programming all night long in these situations are they in their family and maybe friends around and they're sort of watching it on tv and the zoom is set up and they're also just sort of you know maybe making food in the kitchen and just kind of keeping one ear out to see if their name is called like how

much do they give a shit i think that that kind of it varied right yeah so i think some people were i mean jason sudeikis clearly was moderately interested in the proceedings not enough to change out of his hoodie he also kind of got some attention because norman lear uh sort of gave a you know norman lear had some like a kind of a statement uh or some comments about his career and norman lear is 99 years old and like you could just see jason sudeikis in the zoom going he's 99 wow it's like you could clearly so he wasn't taking it too seriously but then like rosamund pike she when she won she was psyched and she said and again i got the joke later which is at the netflix movie she's in i think it's called i care a lot but she was like as you can tell i care a lot she was like i really care a lot like she was in like again she was in this amazing outfit it was like a really cool shot she was psyched to have won like this mattered to her so it wasn't like she was off you know warming up some nachos and then kind of like sticking her head back into the frame when it was time to do it so or time for her you know her nomination or whatever the award that she ended up winning so I think I think different people kind of took it with different levels of seriousness and how much they did up the the background I have

a great tweet here I mean it's not it's not incredibly clever but I think it's as good as the tweet I sent out this morning the Jeff Daniels vibe it's a picture of Jeff Daniels You know, as you just described it, and somebody named Tyler Ronnie says you have to appreciate you have to appreciate Jeff Daniels and his, quote, dad just zooming in from the spare room vibe. Oh, yeah, which is, you know, that's exactly how it feels and looks. Good job, Tyler. Who is Tyler Roney? Maybe that's how you say his name.

You find a Tyler Roney. It's a very special tweet. I bet you that's a tender Roney reference.

He is the first alert meteorologist at Dakota News Now That's right Ding, ding, ding I don't have my bell I got my bell right here Tyler Roney keeping the meteorology vibes alive on this episode of TBTL

I have so many questions about Tyler Roney now One, has he declared it spring? As has been the case here in Boise Also, if he is actually a public figure, if he's a meteorologist That makes me think his name really is Tyler Roney

R-O-N-E-Y, yeah

Do you think his parents knew about the song Tenderoni? How old does he look?

He looks like he... Could he have been conceived to the song Tenderoni? If your last name is Roney... Maybe he looks like he's in his maybe mid-twenties.

I have to... I feel like this is a subtle Bobby Brown play by Tyler Roney's parents.

Here's all I can tell you about him, other than that he's a first alert meteorologist at Dakota News Now in Sioux Falls, Iowa State alum, Broncos fan. Okay. He is officially a father, a two-time cat dad, and his opinions, Luke, are his own.

Does it list any of his siblings? Does he have a brother named Mike Prerogative? Mike, he has a brother named Mike Prerogative, yes. Because then we're definitely onto something here. Since this is our extremely online top stories episode, Let me tell you, Andrew, about what just went on in California where a doctor from Sacramento, his name is Scott Green, decided to zoom in to his traffic court trial fully in the operating room, fully in his scrubs with his mask on. I don't know if you saw this article, but the tape is really quite something. It's sort of the I'm here. I'm not a cat. But somehow in the reverse, whereas the the lawyer in Texas, the I'm here, I'm not a cat guy was sort of he was trying to be as professional as possible. And he just got stuck behind that filter. This doctor very knowingly decided to zoom in from and it's not, you know, I mean, to be one thing if he was just if he took a break and walked down the hall to one of those little exam rooms or something. I don't think anyone would have a problem with that. It's very clear he is standing in, as they say, the surgical theater. Although I don't know if they call it that anymore because I don't get the sense you have as many people watching as like back in the day when they were first doing this stuff. But anyway, let me play you some of this audio. It's pretty amazing. This judge also, I have to say, this judge is, I think, pretty calm under kind of weird circumstances.

So can everybody hear me? Yes, sir. Officer Monroe, Mr. Green. Elizabeth Ramirez, is she part of this case? Yes. Oh, people are just coming in. What I'm looking at is Scott Douglas Green's case, case number 20, TRO95795. I believe Officer Monroe is present on this case as well. So unless I'm mistaken, I'm seeing a defendant that's in the middle of an operating room, appearing to be actively engaged in providing services to a patient. is that correct Mr. Green yes sir or what I should I say Dr. Green but I don't know that I do not feel comfortable for the well I'm not having this for a patient if you're in the process of by the way that was me

doing John Tesh, not the judge. I just need to clarify because the audio is going by pretty quickly here.

I would put on a trial notwithstanding the fact that the officer is here today.

I have another surgeon right here who's doing the surgery with me so I can stand here and allow them to do the surgery also.

Not at all. I don't think so. I don't think that's appropriate. I think we're going to have, I'm going to come up with a different date.

I love the certainty that this judge is presenting. like yeah at all this is a non-starter my friend you're in surgery this cannot happen

well yeah i do you have more tape to play before i weigh in on this uh i mean that's

more more or less let me i'll unpause it there's only a couple seconds left i mean this is not

actively involved or participating in attending to the needs of a patient um let me see if i can get a different date here

so that's sort of where the video ends okay i have a lot to i think i have a lot to say here having been you know seeing this or hearing this the first time with you i've also been kind of watching along here on my end um the judge seems a little irritated and from the judge's perspective i think the judge should be irritated because well and again this is you know who do you want to root for in any kind of traffic case right we tend to want to root for the people the defendant um but as we were discussing not all that long ago on the show lots of times people get out of their traffic violations because the police officers don't show up i don't know what the infraction here is right the judge actually has a situation where the law enforcement officer did actually show up and it looks like you know took time out of their day to be there which is not exactly the easiest thing and i i i feel like the surgeon is doing this knowingly and i'm just totally from the hip here i have no idea the background but like i'm sure the surgeon is sending a message of number one i've got more important things to do than deal with the stupid traffic court and also i'm on the front lines here i'm actually like literally there are more important things in the world like this patient's life than whatever this dumb infraction is i feel like that's i feel like that is why he's doing it in that way um and for the judge It's like if I were to go into a court in normal times and I'm doing work, even if it's very important work on my laptop and just saying like, yeah, I'm paying attention, judge, just go ahead and do your thing. But I'm going to keep on working here. Maybe it's some other life saving spreadsheet that you're working on. You know what I mean? Like that's not appropriate behavior in court. And so now this judge has been dealing for a year with people who are outside the court joining him. And I think, you know, possibly displaying various power plays.

I am with you. This is a total flex, like because if your fellow surgeon can handle the surgery, presumably you could walk down the hall and have this 15 minute conversation, you know, not in that room. This was definitely a way of letting the judge know that you're a very important person and that because you are a surgeon, you probably somehow, I mean, I don't think this is really the case, but I'm saying this is what he was probably trying to transmit. Because I'm a surgeon, I'm somehow a more responsible and respectable member of society, so there's no way I ran that red light. Would a surgeon run a red light? I mean, we really do need to know what the infraction is. And without digging into whatever the public records are in Sacramento, California, we've probably got listeners that can do that. And I advise I ask them to same people that figured out what was really going on with Larry King's estate. but um without so i don't know the infraction and that really does kind of impact if it was if this is a speeding ticket and it's not like he was doing 300 or something or if this is like you ran a yellow light or if this is like what i think of as the lowest level of traffic violation a camera got a picture of you not making a complete stop on a right um if it's if it's like very very very silly traffic offense then this whole thing feels silly to me and i'm in a way i was i'm sort of rooting for the surgeon i'm kind of annoyed that the police officer even showed up because it's like really but on the other hand if it's like something bad like i there's very few things i i dislike more than when i'm driving like a normal person on the road and somebody drives by it 300 miles an hour or is weaving or is being kind of dangerous or gunning it from a stoplight like all of that kind of driving behavior really does tick me off so the idea that those people are getting punished and that the system is following up that kind of you know what i mean so i don't know the circuit this is either just a light-hearted silly story or it's like i really hope that they punish this a-hole but i don't know which one of those stories it is because i don't know what the alleged infraction is that being said i am so with you that this is a major flex from this surgeon there is no way that this was in fact it was probably harder for him to do it this way where do you get like i mean i know surgeries are very high tech now so we have laptops

But, like, did he have to re—like, is there a laptop that's in the surgical room that's meant for, like, looking at the arthroscopic camera as it goes into the whatever part of the body? Right. Like, whatever that weird— That's the camera he's using. Is that the—bro, that would be—how about this? So the zoom shot for the court is just that weird camera that's pushing through, like, a human colon, and then just popping up down at the end of the rainbow is Dr. Scott Green. Can I help you?

Now that's a flex.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man, it's not from a female.

All right, Andrew, any emails or V-mails that you're interested in?

Yeah, let's clear out the file here on a couple of things. Oh, I've got one too, by the way. Oh, good, good. Yeah, you know, I don't think I checked the latest today, so you might have something I don't. I did want to say we had a listener that we thanked for donating the TBTL the other day from Libertyville. And then we had another listener write in recently and saying, hey, I'm in Libertyville, too. Can you just let that other listener know? So I did it on the radio like a professional.

And I believe that the listener who wanted to make contact said, I'm a suburban dad type with kids.

Yeah, nothing creepy here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No cap. I'm a normal dude. Well, Koleon, a longtime listener, says, tell anybody from Libertyville or frankly anywhere else near Chicago to look for the TBTL Chicago 10s Facebook group. We have to have a get together when it's safe to do so. So it was either lost on me or I had forgotten that Libertyville is in the Chicagoland area. So that's a there's a there's a solution right there. Join the rest of the Chicago 10s on Facebook Or I don't know if there's a special Slack channel For individual cities or not Before I do one of those again

I think the last If I remember right The last Chicago meetup that happened I mean we did the thing at Virgin But I can't remember if it was before or after that That we were doing Livewire there And then me and some 10s went out afterwards and hung out But that was really fun And I very much look forward to getting back to Chicago and seeing some folks.

Yeah, you spend a lot of time in Chicago. I don't spend much time in Chicago, but I love it.

Should we have Ramon, our somewhat inappropriate Instagram friend, my buddy from Rossi's, and O'Callaghan's, should we have Ramon come on stage and just hold up memes that he has sent out? I mean, it's a highly visual joke, but maybe we should do that.

Ramon liked a comment of mine this weekend, by the way. he had posted something and i had commented on it and then he liked it and i felt i felt like the spotlight just shining on me for a bright beautiful moment oh great to our chicago listeners

yeah if you're ever in chicago well if you're a chicago listener you're probably often in chicago but if it if it feels safe and okay and depending on your vaccination status uh you know check out rossi's check out o'callahan's if you bump into somebody named ramon tell them hi from me Yes. Just ask where Ramonski love is, and they'll point you in the right direction.

So I do have another email to share here that I can share, but what is yours that you want to get in here? Because this one that I was going to launch on is kind of long.

Remember how I made the terrible decision the other day to try to speculate on what city in Lord of the Rings was the city that Smaug destroys with fire? I was talking about this because I was talking about Ketchikan, Alaska, and the eagles there, the airy in Ketchikan, and how it's built out over this river. And it's just like all these decks that are hanging out over the water. It's a very cool thing. But it reminded me of that city. And I guessed and called it Rivendale. Yeah. Riven sounded like river.

Yeah.

And I, well, I was wrong. But thankfully, I've got some close connections with some very big Loader fans, including my actual brother, David, who texted the next morning at 716 a.m. Hey, dude. He was probably in mile 15 of his jog to his job at Starbucks. Hey, dude, listening to yesterday's episode of the show, you were spot on on the Smaug pronunciation. No, Rivendell, I couldn't have been more wrong, but I got the Smaug part right. Also, Lake Town is one of the places that Smaug destroyed, along with Erebor, which is, of course, Andrew, as you know, the dwarven kingdom inside of the Lonely Mountain. And, of course, Dale, a kingdom of men located just outside of the gates of Erebor. Rivendell is an elven sanctuary far southwest of where Smaug dwelled, called Imladris, or the House of Elrond, the Half-Elven. I'm about a third of the way into this text, by the way, Andrew. Probably texted while jogging. I can't, I cannot. emphasize that enough the only thing that you slipped up on was that the animated Hobbit film was made by two guys calling themselves Rankin and Bass Ralph Bakshi made an animated adaptation of the Lord of the Rings which compared to the animated Hobbit film was awful so really I got two things wrong I was thinking of Lake Town when I called it Rivendale and I've been always calling that version of the Hobbit that I watched the Bakshi one and it's not it's the Rankin and Bass one

Oh, okay.

Which does make a difference.

Rivendell is a real place, though? Did he say that Rivendell is a real place? Because it sounds like a real place in the books. Yeah, of course. Like a real fake place.

Well, sure. Yeah, Rivendell is an elven sanctuary far southwest of where Smaug dwelled, called Emladris, or the House of Elrond, the Half-Elven. Again, this is all stuff that exists in my brother's brain with zero need to look it up.

Right, right, right. I feel like this is how Tolkien would have texted had he lived to see texting. Like, do you think that Tolkien would have sent a short text?

No, he would have sent a detailed text that involved a lot of words I've never seen before.

Yeah. And like a map, an old timey map on yellow, crinkly parchment somehow texted through the phone.

Yeah. So for all of the loader heads out there who were throwing their phones, it has been the record has been corrected.

Thanks to my little bro. You have time for a couple of stories from one listener named April. Mm hmm. Let me tell you, April's in Edmonds, Washington. You still cool with this? Yeah, I'll allow it. OK. April in Edmonds, Washington says this is a blast from the past. But I had to share I've recently been listening back to some episodes that I'd missed earlier in 2020. And I happened upon the conversation you had with Kiki Lolo when she had gotten stuck in the elevator at a grocery store. Right. Remember that? Yes. I think about that every time I get into the elevator at my own grocery store, something I do a lot. I always think, is this the day I get stuck? And can I be strong like a Kiki? At some point, I think Luke guesses that now it's happened. Is strong like a Kiki a show title? Maybe I don't have any other show titles Although if she sees that on the website Well maybe that's good Maybe it'll encourage her to listen And then we get another download So that's pretty cool Yeah we'll take it Please retweet and like At some point Luke guesses that Now that it's happened to her once It's not likely to happen again Like lightning Sadly you'll only get stuck in an elevator Once in your lifetime Sadly I've had that pleasure twice The first time I was stuck in an elevator In high school was in the early 2000s

I thought she was hit by lightning twice. No. I've got a lot to say on lightning strikes, Andrew. It's been coming up a lot lately for me.

Yeah? Do you want to do it now?

Well, just, okay, quickly, because this is not where April's story is going. But one thing that I learned recently, just a dazzling trivia fact, I think is that like the air temperature during a lightning strike is much, much, much, much, much hotter than the surface of the sun. Isn't that surprising?

It's interesting because I don't think of it as heat. I think of it as electricity, which, of course, I know is related, but I just I think of them very differently. Right. One is more like a like an oven where it's like actual heat. and one just seems like just the crackling energy of lightning.

Yeah, I just, when I think of, oh, what's the hottest thing that exists? What's the thing I really don't want to be very close to? I think of the surface of the sun. And lightning, you're right, I don't think of it in the heat category. And so the idea that like that, when you see a lightning strike, you're seeing something that where you're up close and personal with it, the air temperature is actually hotter than the sun. That's crazy. So I've been thinking about that.

You had a second thing, though, right?

Well, just this really interesting piece in The Guardian about lightning strike survivors and what happens to them, because it can really disrupt someone's life in this way that I wouldn't have expected, which is that a number of people, the people that were detailed in this article who are part of a support group, they have all these kind of medical issues that are very, very hard to pin down. kind of like people that will deal with you know chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia things like that and so it becomes something where the trajectory of their whole life changes they survive a lightning strike they are more or less they appear to be physically okay it's hard for the doctors to find the source of the problem but they report all kinds of issues and it you never i mean i don't know i just i never thought about that aspect of it either like you survive a lightning strike and then you spend the rest of your life trying to explain to people that your medical situation is real and not imagined.

It must be hard not to...

talk about it a lot although maybe you get to a point where you want to stop talking about it

i would never stop i would this show would be called i was once struck by lightning with luke burbank and andrew walsh yeah well so all that to say i'm glad i have to get struck

by lightning no no in order to be a co-host stop trying to steal my lightning okay oh that's right

i'm the one who got struck by lightning i'm the interesting one fair enough i'm very glad too that listener April is going to be talking about getting stuck in two elevators, not getting struck by lightning twice, because that would be

really, really bad. I haven't read this all the way through. Maybe she got struck by lightning while on an elevator. Let's take this ride together. Sadly, I've had the pleasure twice. The first time I was stuck in an elevator was in high school in the early 2000s with my mom, every 15-year-old's nightmare. We were in an old office building where she had dragged me along to pick up a lawn sign for our local Democratic candidate. It must have been the 2002 election neither of us had a cell phone i probably had one at that point but it wasn't yet surgically attached to me uh we were in the elevator for over 45 minutes before the fire department got us out and we were partially stuck between floors see that's that's where you get in your head and i don't know did she say how high up she was the little uh grocery store elevator that i am on is actually not small the the the carriage itself is actually quite big because They probably use it to load, you know, big crates of stuff up and down into the grocery store. But it's only three floors. And I'm only taking it from the level one, the parking garage, to level two, the grocery store entrance. So if I were to be stuck on that, I would be thinking, is this thing going to come crashing down? But I would be thinking, yes, but I can probably survive it. But I have like I have elevator dreams, Luke. Do you know this? And that doesn't mean like it's not like champagne dreams. It's like I have dreams because I'm so scared of heights and because I do think I have a phobia of getting stuck in an elevator or falling in a free falling elevator. I will have sometimes have dreams where I am to like the tallest building imaginable. And I'm taking the elevator all the way to the top and I'm quite nervous about it. And often it is a rickety elevator and et cetera, et cetera. So I wonder where April and her mom were on this. If they were stuck between floors, I would be really scared that entire 45 minutes, not just kind of put out.

Nobody needs this advice from me. But I would say if you are stuck between floors in an elevator and somehow you get the doors open, do not try to climb out. Because that my fear in an elevator, and I don't want to be gruesome here. My fear in an elevator is not so much the elevator plummeting because there's a lot of counterweights. There's a lot of safety mechanisms built in. it's almost mechanically impossible for even a disabled elevator to plummet because of how the system is set up but how people do unfortunately lose their lives is when they are trapped between the exterior of the elevator and one of the floors that is a real that's more my kind of

nightmare scenario oh yeah yeah that's well add that to the put that in the nightmare file my friend exactly all right here we go april says the sec what good i just wonder how the democrats

did in that particular race that april and her mom were getting the sign for i hope that that sign

you know tipped the tipped the balance of the votes was it worse worth it april's mom um the second time i was stuck in an elevator was about 10 years ago when i was working in downtown seattle as a preschool teacher think like fancy corporate child care for three-year-olds we were located in A 40 plus story building Right across the street from Andrew's favorite library Oh that's the downtown library not the one where I got kicked out Of the children's section which was I mean really just a misunderstanding

You're still allowed in the children's section of the downtown library

Right exactly We would take the kids Up to a rooftop playground Twice a day you can see where this is Going I got stuck in an elevator With one other adult My co-teacher and about 15 Three year olds Oh my god Fifteen Three-year-olds, April writes We were quick on our feet and sang songs with the kids In the hopes that they wouldn't freak out While we internally panicked And noted how the temperature was rising At least a degree a minute In that tiny space Thankfully, building maintenance was quick to rescue us After about ten minutes But now I always remember that Since I survived being stuck in an elevator with preschoolers I can probably survive anything And thank God, nobody pooped. Power out, April in Edmonds. Including April. And the co-teacher, exactly.

That's like something out of a movie.

And we're talking, and April says 40 floors, and they were taking a trip to the roof. Now, I don't know if they're coming back or going up. I forgot that part. But that means that's my nightmare, right? I mean, that's a tall building with a whole bunch of squirmy bodies on it.

Yeah, that's the kind of I mean, yeah, that's like a Something they would do on Fear Factor We're gonna put you in a glass box With 15 three-year-olds And turn the temperature up one degree each minute And you're like, don't do it, Joe Rogan

Oh, that was Joe Rogan?

I do believe Isn't that funny? The reinvention of Joe Rogan Not just the handyman from news radio I was gonna say, that's the one that always blows my mind When I stop to think about it Not just the guy who then seemed a little roidy, but was the host of Fear Factor. But no, the noted podcaster, the guy who rules the podcast space. Back in the day, he was the Fear Factor host.

And of course, the MMA, I mean, his life is so wrapped up in MMA, right? Does he actually call the fights?

Yeah, and that was always kind of a weird thing to me. uh you know when i started watching some mma with camaro kev and he'd be like yeah joe rogan i was like the guy from news radio what right right yeah he's always been into that too and i mean i'll give the guy credit for this uh he recognized that mma was going to become a huge industry and he really kind of got in on the i mean he was he was into that stuff when it was much more on the margins and uh i'm he i guess you could say wisely identified that podcasting Was going to be a thing Wisely for his bank account When are we getting our $200 million payday

Oh What are you getting You know let's talk about this off the air

This is an offline conversation Yeah this is

Awkward there for a second Alright Luke That's why I'm in Boise doing a side gig

I'm getting none of this $200 million that you're getting

Yeah well I'm just here loafing around Would you like to listen to Lightning Strikes Lightning is I can't go that high, but you know the song. Oh, yeah.

Is that like the Four Seasons?

Lightning striking again. There you go. You did what I was scared to do. Everybody involved. I have it here. I want to apologize to the listeners and my family for that. I don't know if this is the right song or not. I have it as somebody named Joe Christie here. No, I'm sorry. Lou Christie. This is it, though. Yeah, I like this.

Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. So please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Monday. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves. Mask up. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

To the very end. Baby, that's you. Won't be way. But to the end. When I say lips, baby, to be kissed.

Stop, I can't stop, stop, I can't stop, stop Lightly striking again Lightly striking again

Nature's taking over my one-track mind Believe it or not, you're in my heart all the time All the girls are saying that you'll end up a fool For the time being baby lit by my room When I settle down I want one baby on my mind Forgive and forget And I'll make up for a whole lost time If she's put together back Can she see my mind Stop, I can't stop, stop I can't stop

My lady's striking again Power out.