Muse

I got the idea from The Shawshank Redemption.

Oh, my God, that's my favorite movie.

No, it's my favorite movie, too.

I've seen it, like, 100 times. Melissa. It's just one of those movies, if you turn on the TV and it happens to be on, you just have to finish it.

Melissa, Melissa, it's my favorite movie, too. Big Shank head here. Yeah, it's Tom Hanks' finest, right?

Tom Hanks? What's your favorite part of Shawshank, Phil?

uh you know so many parts so many parts to choose from and to pick from uh probably you know the the part where the shawshank is redeemed it's like you know hanks

does some well i've never seen it well i'm you you gotta see it you know as they say in the movie get busy living or get busy dying truly was a shawshank redemption tbtl

that is totally absurd people ask me were you uh you know were you must have been the class clown and I say, no, I wasn't, but I sat beside the class clown and I studied him.

I feel like I'm watching regional theater, you guys. God, am I in the Cleveland Playhouse or something?

Are you taking my duplication investigation seriously? Or are you disrespecting my duplication investigation? Let's get to the jokes.

All right, hello, good morning. Welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Hello! Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky, above Portland, Oregon, where we are just... We are looking at an absolutely beautiful day.

Oh, yeah!

I know it's been declared spring in Boise, Idaho. and I am willing to go on the record and declare it spring right here in the Rose City. California got sunshine. For like, I think, three days, and then it's going to be terrible again. But let's enjoy this. I have the window open, by the way. I don't know if you can hear the traffic on the I-84 freeway or not, but that's the kind of day it is. It's just spring is in the air, my friends, And I am so excited to be here with you, arriving at episode 3,371 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. And we have some top stories that we neglected to get to yesterday, including the company that will animate pictures of your deceased loved ones so that it looks like they're still alive. And even their own website admits that the whole thing is a little bit weird. So we'll get into that. Plus, or in addition to that, we will talk about, you know, my other job is I host a radio show called Livewire. And I, you know, the beginning of the show, it's called The Billboard. If you're listening to public radio and you hear the thing that happens when Windsor Johnson stops talking, or I should say at the top of the hour, so whenever it's exactly the moment of, let's say, 7 o'clock, there's one minute of me talking or some radio host that you like, let's say Shankar Vedantham, and then at the one minute mark, the news begins. Anyway, that little period is called the billboard. And I have to describe all the people that are going to be on the show that week. And the hardest part of being a radio host is writing a one-minute paragraph and figuring out different ways to say, and then, plus, and also, so-and-so will stop by. Just not saying, and then this, and then this, and then this. Finding new and creative ways to describe that you're going to have another guest on the program. That's the real work, my friends. Anyway, in addition to the story about digital animation, we will also be discussing a story that will stop by, and that is the story of how much money there is to be made in reselling expensive sneakers.

What face would your feet make if they could make a face?

And also why you shouldn't do an interview with Bloomberg Businessweek if you care about your family. That's coming up Plus emails and v-mails And this guy The longest running co-bro Of the show He started with APM Six years and one day ago He is Andrew This guy

It's a four-and-a-half-foot-tall pile of awesomeness.

Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I'm glad you brought up yesterday's anniversary, because I don't want to drag us back into the past again today. I just want to tell you one quick thing, and then we can move on. After all of the talk of TBTL history yesterday and anniversaries, and you had thrown out there, well, what was the first show that I joined you on as a real deal, as a co-host, as a permanent thing, right? Somebody looked it up. Actually, I should give that person credit. This is David found it, and he said, you guys just missed Andrew's ninth Cobroversary. What? It was February 28th, 2012. Now, here's the deal that I love about this. Nine years? Yeah, so that's nine years. So next February 28th, It'll be a dime, my friend. It'll be a decade. Here are the things. Would that make this the longest job you've ever had? Well, yes, except it was a side gig for a big chunk of that. You know what I mean? I sort of feel like that's a little misleading.

Would six years make this the longest job you've ever had?

Let's talk about that. I know. I think I was at New Hampshire. Well, I was at New Hampshire Public Radio in various roles, but almost for a full decade there. I think maybe nine years. So I was at that company steadily, although moving around. But here are some of the dazzling details about the February 27th, 2012 show. It was episode number 1026. That's not really dazzling, but it is a detail. The headline or the title of the show has a typo in it. I think that really is portend the right word there.

Let me mention that was back in the days when I would write the headline.

Right. Yeah, that's right. I'm not trying to throw you under the bus. I just think it's like, of course, my so it's it's janky. It's the name of the show is Doomsday is Near. And then parenthetically, in Wyoming anyway, but in is just spelled with the letter N. It's just there's no I there. And then what did we talk about? I will tell you. And this is where I learned that it might be my fault that Donald Trump became president, because the very first show I was on, we talked about Donald Trump enough so that it's in the two sentence description. Luke and producer Andrew make a plan to be apocalypse buddies. Meanwhile, Donald Trump takes some time out of his busy schedule of being a terrible businessman to weigh in on a topic no one cares about. Ooh, another typo. No one cares about. Sorry, Luke, that time I did throw you under the bus. You know what? I'm sorry, but you're going back to being producer Andrew.

Your new name is Targus, producer Andrew. You know, I don't blame you at all for the Trump presidency. If anything, I blame myself because I feel like what that shows is the long-running obsession that I had with this guy long before he was a serious political candidate. And in fact, I remember, and I'm kind of embarrassed about this, how I took the time one day on the show when I think there was – like he had announced he was going to run for president to just disabuse everybody of the notion that this guy would ever become president. Oh, I remember that well. He's very, very strident about it. But it's like he's just – long before he did any of the stuff that he would go on to do in terms of ruining our country, I just had a – I had like a more than normal hate for him. Like most people were just sort of like, eh, you know, he's this blowhard and he's a TV celebrity or whatever. But I think a lot of people just had sort of a semi-neutral opinion on him. But he always made me filled with rage long before he was, again, in a position of power.

Yeah. So you're blaming yourself. And, of course, we still have a pretty good argument that it's Chris Hayes' fault. Right. We read the Cubs. Cubs to the series. But Donald Trump is president. You take that. He said he took it. He got both.

Well, it's worked out for him because MSNBC is apparently the highest rated. Like, I don't know if it's highest rated cable network or network.

I think it was cable.

But congrats to our friends over there at MSNBC for having some pretty good ratings. What would that be like, Andrew? I don't know. To be the highest rated anything.

You know, I was going slightly different there. I was going to say I just was going to take a quick moment to give a little appreciation. We talk about Chris on the show probably too much. I know we talk about Chris because we get emails from people that are like, hey, do you guys know Chris Hayes? Literally got an email one time. I was like, all right, that's fair. But also.

Well, other famous people get at us and we'll talk about you. It's the only famous person we know. kornheiser um but anyway yeah wait huh yeah i mean are we gonna just are we just gonna are we just gonna stroll right past that topic i mean it feels like we're we're becoming kind of a thing on

that show right well um i i don't know i mean have you heard this tape yet here's what here's what i learned so we have some listeners who are relatively new listeners who are also tony kornheiser listeners, and they have a really vibrant community over there as well, and then they started finding each other online. These people who listen to both podcasts and then like a snowball rolling downhill picked up a few more Tony Kornheiser listeners to TBTL. We call them Tiddles. No, we do not. Luke, take it back. Littens? Maybe we're getting closer. I didn't even know why you were calling them Tiddles. I didn't even know that was a 10 reference i just thought it was i thought it was just fun um okay uh so i got an email today from somebody saying well you guys have now been mentioned on the kornheiser show because um somebody sent in an email to kornheiser about this little uh overlap of communities would you like to hear tony kornheiser somebody i'm weirdly nervous about this but yes i would like to hear it somebody said red by the orange man is that another nickname for tony kornheiser I mean, I don't know. Get at me. All right, take a listen.

Jamie Julian writes to us, 18 months ago, I started listening to a podcast called Too Beautiful to Live. Within days, I had my first David Aldridge moment. The host mentioned listener Dr. Garrett Schumann, and I yelled, hey, I know that guy. He's the little who composed the main riff for the Fibonacci song on the Diane Kruger Effect album. Small word, world podcast.

What does that mean? Can you explain the joke to me?

I don't know, but I've never felt more seen as an extremely niche podcaster because that's exactly the kind of thing that we would have. Oh, listener Garrett, the music expert from Michigan, who did the thing for this other thing that's based on a Jenga of inside jokes.

Our music doctor. Yeah, does it give you a little pang of jealousy like hearing somebody else talk? No. You know, like, oh, Garrett's a big deal in a couple of different universes.

Honestly, Andrew, pod monogamy, I was trying to blend monogamy and podcasting, and you know, those things don't mix, apparently. No, monogamy is an illusion. I'm fine with our listeners playing in a lot of different spaces. Just be safe, and don't catch feelings.

Within days, I had my first David Aldridge moment. The host mentioned listener Dr. Garrett Schumann, and I yelled, hey, I know that guy. He's the little who composed the main riff for the Fibonacci song on the Diane Kruger Effect album. Small world podcast colliding. A couple of weeks ago, I saw Leanna DiNardo interacting with Too Beautiful to Live on Twitter. And again, I hollered, hey, I know her. She's the little who beat me in the Littles Fantasy Football Championship a couple of years ago. My interest was piqued. I had to know what the Venn diagram of Too Beautiful to Live and TK looked like. So I took to Twitter to find out. Turns out there's one very notable little in this crossover universe. One of the hosts weighed in and said his good friend listened to Tony all the time. That friend, the one and only Gretchen Wu. The connective tissue of your podcast just keeps going and going, ensnaring other podcasts like a fun-filled spiderweb of joy or something. Jeff Dolker in Livonia, Michigan. All right. There you go.

No reaction. We didn't get any kind of post-email banter, but that's all right. That was great.

it's also weird to hear Tony Kornheiser talking about us because I've been watching him on television for like you know years and now he has been made and again I assume like us he doesn't remember anything that happens from program to program but for a moment in time Tony Kornheiser was forced to read the name of our podcast and he still did it with more commitment than Jimmy Pardo did and we paid him to do an ad do i have the tape of that that's not let's not even do it i'm feeling i'm feeling good today the weather is nice and and we've managed to uh you know cross over with the tony kornheiser verse let's not let's not bring ourselves down with hearing the absolute complete lack of giving a shit that jimmy part how much did we pay him for that and can we get our money back i'm still

paying it was a payment plan man it's like 30 anybody 30 more years on that i would be curious

to now you know since we're sort of talking about the crossover podcast effect do we have any listeners be they littles tens or tittles or never knots whatever they call the jimmy pardo listeners do we have any listeners who came to

this show because of the world's worst promotional ad read by Jimmy Pardo

that would be interesting yes good question Luke like good question if anybody listening right now is listening specifically because they heard us on never not funny email me they didn't even hear us or not us that you heard you heard a very sleepy disinterested pre-roll I believe read a cold read so you got to give them credit for that clearly like didn't want Didn't want to ruin the surprise on air By reading the copy ahead of time

Right Just somebody handed him He was asleep somewhere in North Hollywood Somebody wandered into his house Woke him up from a deep sleep Handed him a printout And then he read it And went back to sleep That is how they record the ads on that show

I forgot about that

Andrew have you had any media appearances lately?

I love i love that that stuck with you i did temporarily forget about it i love it

all right um hey uh this is a um well thanks again for the folks that are putting us on the yeah heiser verse radar that's fun uh you know what let's do this let's take a quick break for once we'll take a break at the you know the scheduled time and then we come back speaking of twitter interactions andrew i would like to um uh play a little tape for you that really blew my mind last night to the point where i responded on twitter with the now famous walter burbank unicorn's brain exploding wallpaper that is how much my mind was blown um so let's talk about that and our top stories which i swear to god if we have to do a four-hour show today in order to get to the top stories we will do it coming up on tbtl we was hoping for some razzle

dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle. Okay. Razzle dazzle. On your mark. On your

mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle dazzle. Everybody razzle dazzle.

Well, look at that. We have arrived at the part of the year where we are now thanking Dazzling Donors These are the TBTL supporters that are donating at a Truly dazzling level And as part of that They can send in Messages of their choosing And we will read those messages As our way of saying Thank you so much for being an Extremely important part Of the TBTL community Starting with listener Abby Hersey Who's in Worthington Ohio Abby says I don't want to say too many nice things Because I know the guys don't like that

If you could email Tony Kornheiser

And have him read a nice thing That's the filtration system that we like to go through I want to thank Luke and Andrew for being my near constant Companions for the last several years I've been working from home since Before it was cool slash mandatory I was country Before being country was cool with the peanuts in my pockets. I'm just butchering a long-ago inside joke from TBTL. Peanuts in my Coke, I think, was the reference from that. I was country before country was cool. We spent a long time trying to figure out what peanuts in my Coke meant, and it was a thing that people do in parts of the country. They put peanuts in their Coca-Cola. Yeah, and Genevieve's from Georgia. I think she's experimented with that. Anyway, Abby was working from home before it was cool-slash-mandatory, and says, for a long time, your conversations made me feel like I wasn't alone all day. I'm so grateful for the show and the community that you've built. Speaking of which, I'd like to give a shout out to my fellow Worthington, Will. Hi, Will. Hi, Will. I'd also like to put in a quick plug for children's mental health. I know many of us are struggling right now, but if there's a kid or teen in your life, they may be too and they may not know how to tell you one in five children is living with a serious mental illness that interferes with everyday life and half of all lifetime mental health concerns start by the age of 14 please check out onoursleeves.org for some great free resources and information no child or family should have to struggle alone wow thank you Abby thanks for supporting the show Thanks for that really nice message. And also thanks for reminding people about mental health for young people. That website is onoursleeves.org. Maestro? On your mark. I was really hoping you'd remember to say maestro. It's just muscle memory. Like, I don't remember any details from the program as I established.

earlier in the show but there's something inside me that said i think i say maestro i heard you

pause i'm just saying just say it just say it i got my finger on the button just say it

uh we'd also like to uh honor and thank dazzling donor candy schroeder of chicago illinois i heard from the fine folks at wait wait don't tell me andrew today and they invited me on the program for a couple of dates this spring and early summer and I was very excited to do that and also made me a little wistful because they're going to be remote shows wistful for Chicago where Candy Schroeder is Candy says the past year has been forever taking, I'll add parenthetically, boring and forever taking. Candy says thanks for being there and to the community of tens, somebody probably needs to hear some positivity today please play bill withers lovely day on the way out i mean candy you you are the the 10 who just keeps on giving not only are you donating to the show but you have given us a great idea which is to go out with that bill withers song man she also gave me a hot dog button a pin for

my backpack that i cherish so you're right the giving never ends candy is i mean uh i do believe

Candy showed up at the Vaniversary show at Green Lake in the pre-dawn hours when we all learned that David from the Basement is a very fast

runner. Yeah, turns out he has long legs. Who knew?

Yeah, it took him four steps

to get entirely around the lake. He stepped over the lake which felt like cheating to me. I definitely

think that was a cheat. Anyway, Candy, thank you so much and great idea for that song. I love that song so much and not just because too short and the crew sample it for players holiday which is also a certified banger the president said what we got to make this a holiday we got to make this a player's holiday all right um before we get to the top stories that's the last thing i want to do is introduce something else into the information stream before you know what i'm actually just going to do this hello and welcome to top story so we are within the brackets now of top stories um but uh i i saw this tweet from a listener i believe the listener's name might have been um danielle uh who was uh commenting on what i said at the very end of the show i'm always mildly shocked andrew when we get a comment about something that was said in the last 10 minutes of the program because there really is a feeling for me that it's just you and me talking at the end like it's just like that's what we've sufficient sufficiently chased out every listener and now we're now you and i can

just get down to you know friendship business right that's where we bury all of our news that

we don't want people to know about so i mentioned uh something about cinnamon toast and how i ate a ton of cinnamon toast as a kid and uh a listener danielle tweeted at me that this my comments reminded her of a tiktok video that somebody who goes by the name of um emotional support blonde which is a pretty good name aka kami mommy which is also a pretty good name uh had put up on tiktok on the subject of cinnamon toast take a

listen to this you guys i literally did not realize that cinnamon toast that cinnamon sugar toast was like a poor people thing i thought it was weird when i first started living with people and they would look at me so weird when i would make it people who are not in my immediate family they would look at me so weird when i would make cinnamon sugar toast and i was like didn't you ever have cinnamon sugar toast and they were like no and i was like that's so weird i literally had all the time and then like we had a cinnamon sugar jar where my mom would make cinnamon sugar for our cinnamon sugar toast i literally shit you not and i was just like oh that's weird whatever it was not until i downloaded this app that i realized that it's like a common thing for a lot of like poor slash lower income families what

um so there you go maybe it's a a sort of a socioeconomic thing or something that was news to me but i did grow up uh with uh not a ton of money and uh also ate a lot of cinnamon toast so

anecdotally i can support this theory um i already felt bougie when you asked if i oh that was not no no no no no no i know that's not the point but it's funny because i already felt bougie last

On yesterday's show, you said, did you eat cinnamon toast? I was like, yeah. And then as I was describing it, it became clear that what my family ate was cinnamon raisin toast that we bought at the store and then came home and made. And it was very good. And I felt very rich like a king while I ate it while you were shaking actual cinnamon on your toast, on your wheat toast.

It was cinnamon mixed with tears because of how poor we were.

Just a little bit of umami. But anyway, I will say this, though. I said to Genevieve because I saw I saw that tweet come through last night and I said, hey, did you have cinnamon toast as a kid? Like not the prepackaged kind. She's like, oh, yeah, yeah. She said we had it all the time. My mom would make it for. She said, I've made it here in the house since I've been with you. I'm like, I have not. I have not noticed that. I don't know if she's lying to impress me or the tweeter or you or what. She's trying to seal the deal with you. She really is. She's like, this will win them over.

I got to lock that down. You got to lock that down. I want people to know that even though it sounds like we said that one second apart because of the delay, we said that at exactly the same moment.

Yeah. So anyway, Genevieve did have experience with it as well. But I have not like never in my life did we make homemade cinnamon toast. And it just reminds me a little bit of those conversations I'll have with Camaro Kev where we'll be we'll start off at the same place talking about G.I. Joe. Do you have this G.I. Joe guy? Yeah. Do you have this G.I. Joe guy? No. And then it's kind of like, oh, yeah, well, I had this this helicopter toy. Like you had that helicopter toy, Walsh, like you were such a rich kid.

I don't actually know if I completely buy the theory that this is some somehow socioeconomic. I think it's probably just, you know, regional, the luck of the draw, how your parents grew up, et cetera, et cetera, because you're still using butter and sugar and cinnamon and bread. And like I just it isn't like we went out and grew the wheat, you know, and then milled it and then baked the bread because we were too poor to go to the store. I mean, it's it's just a different way of consuming a bunch of sugar as a kid. So I don't actually know if this is the if this is the clearest indication of socioeconomics. I will also mention that this is another post from emotional support blonde, which I don't know if this for me buys this person the most credibility.

I just think it's so weird that my big three are Aquarius, Sun, Aquarius, Moon, Sagittarius, Rising. And my brother's big three are Cancer, Sun, Cancer, Moon, Sagittarius, Rising. Like, is that why is why are we both like double sign?

Isn't that crazy, Andrew? Whoa. I was really – I don't – And you don't think there's a God.

What if God was one of us?

What if God was a double Sagittarius?

I know. I was trying to figure out – I don't even want – you're going to think I'm just playing it safe because I don't want to offend anybody. And, of course, I don't want to offend anybody. But I will say this. While I don't believe in –

I don't think astrology is a marginalized group. No, no. I don't think we're punching down by saying I don't think astrology is –

No, I don't I don't believe in it at all. But I but I'm not just saying this because I don't want to bomb anybody out who likes talking about it or following it, because it is one of those things that I have zero interest in. But if I were to overhear two people talking about it who are really into it, I do like I kind of found what she was saying there interesting, even though I have no idea what it was, because I like the fact that it sounds like a foreign language to me. And there is something about that that I sort of find charming. And I don't want to, you know, again, like, no, of course, I don't believe in it. But I do believe that if I squeeze my Cleveland Browns football just enough times, you know, while somebody is going to make a field goal, the field goal will be successful. So, you know, we all have our beliefs.

Yes, but I don't mean to be yes, but Andrew, but can I be no and if you just decided that was your character? at improv no and so you shut it down and then I say no and I don't like you but like have we used no and as a show I don't know I'm writing it down that could be strong um it's I know what you mean that we've all got our kind of superstitions and quirks and people believe all kinds of things and I don't I think we would try to not be critical of somebody's faith i.e. you know whatever somebody's faith might be we have a little listeners of a variety of faiths who listen to this show i i know it's important to people and so i would try to be i would try to be relatively sensitive around that stuff for whatever reason i feel no such need to be careful around the topic of astrology which i just think is obvious bullshit and the reason that it I, I...

of bothers me is because it's having a moment again addy and i were talking about this the other um week particularly among i think it's generational i think it's sort of amongst gen z's but i just see so many people attributing so much stuff to just being a total scorpio and like i don't i don't like it in the same way that i don't like it that when something bad happens uh pat robertson will attribute it to like you know god punishing people or something it's like when when real life intersects with something that i think is a superstition to a sort of strong degree i guess i have a little bit of a problem with it um it just seems like people are really buying into astrology a lot more now than when i was 25 but but you just kind of said it again you set it up

like i was doing that because i was trying to be careful i'm telling you i'm i didn't say what i said to be careful i'm being right very very honest with you i just when i see people geeking out about it and and maybe it's just like how you and i have come across people who talk about this stuff in almost every case you know like for me it's somebody who does tarot cards but they know it's just it's mostly a lark but they just enjoy doing it you know what i mean and and i'm not saying it not to piss them off although i don't have any desire to piss anybody off either but i'm saying legitimately it doesn't bother me in the same way that like you get kind of bothered by people really liking fake wrestling. And I'm just like, I don't, you know, I'm not into it, but I, you know, a buddy of mine really likes it. He's always got it on at Teddy's, the bar. And I'm just like, you know, that's kind of funny. I don't know to what degree, if I wake him up in the middle of the night and I ask him if his favorite wrestler is real, I don't think that he's going to say, yes, that is not a character. You know what I mean? Like he just enjoys it.

You wake him up, you ask him that question, then you hand him a promo script for TBTL.

Exactly. Exactly. he'd probably do a pretty good job um but uh but anyway so yeah like i just for those things like i just enjoy people geeking out about stuff is really my point sure um you're being such a pisces right now i can't even believe it double pisces what i don't know if that's double pisces a show

title um let's talk about this uh thing that i i can't even remember where i saw this the other day it's it's it's the rare I think it's sort of the rare event where this is not a prepackaged news story or press release that I received that we are now talking about I think I may have just encountered this in the wild it's a website called my heritage.com and then if you put a slash in and then deep nostalgia you will end up on this thing that they will do where they will animate your family photos have you been to this website Andrew no should i go now yeah uh because then you'll be able to kind of comment on how you feel about seeing

what's going on with these photos i'm actually embracing myself a little bit it's i mean much

like you don't have a big problem with pro wrestling i don't have a big problem with this but people uh seem to have a problem because if you go to the um the the sort of about page of this my heritage place they're doing a lot of kind of managing of people saying this thing is Weird so you send them An old black and white photo and then they Sort of in deep fake style Make the person close their Eyes or blink their eyes and smile and Move their head around and The first example is a woman with A sort of would you call that a bouffant I don't know hairstyles

From the 50s yeah yeah this might even Be this might be 60s right It's black and white but I think she's starting to have That like kind of 60s Hair yeah maybe it's a bouffant

but if you and so she's sort of it's black and white photo and she's sort of smiling coquettishly and and uh and and blinking her eyes the the animated version of her uh and you scroll down in the gallery it's just a bunch of old pictures uh where there's one from kind of almost like looks like maybe the turn of the century yeah something you might describe as like a cameo um that you would you know like that or a curio what's what is a curio i'm not sure What is the thing that's in a little locket? I alternate between calling that a cameo and a curio. I don't think it's a cameo. I always called it a locket.

Curio. Well, you grew up rich. Well, curio sounds like more of a rich person word. Okay, I have a rare, unusual, or intriguing object. So it's just a little, like you might have a curio shop, I guess.

Well, whatever you call those little things that have a photo in them, Some of these pictures are from folks that look like they're sort of from that era. And anyway, it's I think it's quite compelling. Like, I don't have a lot of connection to my like ancestors of this era. So I probably wouldn't do this. But if I were somebody who had a really strong sense of my great grandfather or something and I wanted to kind of or maybe it's actually ideal for me since I didn't.

know those people very well this really brings the people to life this is really weird so there's one that is like i'm scrolling through the gallery and they've they've to show us that you can take a portrait of many people sitting for the camera at once they've shown the full portrait of like a family of about seven people but then you click on each of their faces and they they've zoomed in and animated each one of their faces and this is the one that looks like a lot of these like there's little children in there looks kind of turn of the century ish like you said um but i've scrolled down and there's a man with a mustache and i say this as somebody who has a lazy eye and my lazy eye has been getting worse as i'm recording our hay dummies videos i've even mentioned it a few times like i have to keep restarting the hay dummies video because there's something about looking directly at this little phone camera that makes my eye one of my eyes just go it just does not line up with my other eye and i find it to be very disconcerting like i don't think i don't i i'm a little embarrassed about it but also i just think it it's disconcerting i'm talking about myself here but i will say this one of these animated guys from 1909 or whenever this is has a lazy eye and it is this strange animation and it is

it's freaking me out luke really it is i'm looking at the same thing my question is why did myheritage.com have to do this guy dirty if you're animating them just animate the eyes in sync straight in the eye you know like do him a solid he's long since shuffled off this mortal coil let's at least remember him how he wanted to be remembered with his eyes in sync yeah unless

unless he was just doing that on purpose unless it's an affectation um i was very in style in the

In the 1915s. Everybody had a lazy eye, and we tied an onion to our belt, as was the fashion. By the way, that is Grandpa Simpson. That was really good. For the record. I didn't make that up.

Right. I wish I had. Right. No, of course. Yeah. But I don't know. I am trying to – I'm really trying to sort out my feelings about this right now because I find it somewhat intriguing just looking at other people And looking especially at these really old photos I will say this I would not be interested in seeing anybody That I knew and loved in this This does not do it for me I think I would find it unsettling

I started off by saying I'm not interested in this Because I'm not connected to the like You know three generations ago of my family But honestly the longer I look at it The more I think I really do think I would be ideal for this Because like I'm considering forwarding this to my dad and asking him to, like, upload some old Burbanks in there, like old Farnham. I mean, I knew my granddad, so maybe we need to go a generation before that. But, like, it really does give you this sense of the person as a person differently than just a sort of static photo. I'm thinking of this, too, because, or at least I'm reacting to it in this way, because I'm really into those kind of motion-smoothed films from, like, the olden times. this is a whole thing on youtube where and i think we've talked about on the show before somebody has gone in and taken the kind of what we think of as that like old jittery uh film where everyone seems like they're walking kind of fast and like they've taken it and they've smoothed the motion so that it's much more like if we were shooting a video on our phone and there's just something about seeing those people moving at the normal pace that humanizes them when they're all fast and jittery it's like you just assume they're all i'm off to the speakeasy to have a you know have a toot and tippy canoe and tyler too like they just don't seem like they're real they're all riding their penny farthings uh you know hither and yon uh and then seeing them in normal motion you're just like oh that was a guy with hopes and dreams and he was the person who unloaded the staten island ferry and as these horse and buggies are coming off the staten island ferry that was a guy who lived a whole life you know so anyway these photos are kind of having the same

impact on me well a couple of updates here first of all we have a new problem i think i've caught feelings for at least two of the women uh on this uh from the from the 1900 early 1900s um okay but here's the question and i was sort of alluded to this before but i want to sharpen it and ask you like i find this interesting for these people whom of course i know none of these people but then even if you said hey listen andrew this was your great great grandfather you never knew him but this is what he looked like in a photo now we've animated the photo like okay that's fine but i would not want like for example grandma walsh who died um this is you know my grandma my dad's mom who died uh when i was just out of college i believe so it's been been gone for about 25 years or what have you um somebody that i i know and remember well i would not want to see an animated photo of

her what about you somebody that you actually knew somebody i knew who's no longer with us yeah i think i'd be okay with it like i don't think it would unsettle me or feel like it was in any way um you know disrespectful or something i think i would be i think i would be good with it

i think it's the animation that's we i think that the animation just isn't quite there yet it's still that on like you said in your show sheet and maybe you said it earlier that it's still uncanny so it's just not you know what i mean i think that's what's that's what i'm finding

upsetting is that it's not quite naturalistic yet it's close i'm texting in hawk squad uh to my parents to put this up to put some photos up there my parents are currently in florida i will mention that they are vaccinated but when they get back i want to see if they will actually do this uh because i'm i've gone from being skeptical to being a full well yeah uh believer in my heritage Dot com slash Deep hyphen nostalgia So I will keep you posted on Oh do we have the ability on the On the tbtl.net page to Put up moving photos like this Like could we put up a like if my mom gets back At me with like my granddad jack Or even maybe my grandmother Flora who I never met because she passed Away when my mom was seven if we can get A moving photo of one of them Could we put it up as a show pick or would that be too

Unsettling to the list it depends On how they send it to you what the final media is i'm seeing you vpn in yeah to cody and make it work they won't let me download from their side from the my heritage side they will not let me download these sample images they have they have that locked down so if you were to buy one and then they sent it to you i don't know what how they would send it to you it kind of depend on that but if we could just get an animated gif of it i can post animated gifs so that was really interesting from no i asked the question and you

answered um hey uh i also wanted to tell you about this uh story of the nike executive whose son was written up in bloomberg business week um i've sort of given away the reveal on this i guess but it's it's in the article as well um a uh an article came out a couple weeks ago about this guy named uh let's see you think i would have circled it uh his name is joe hebert and he is a I think he's like 20 so he's 19 years old and basically Bloomberg Business Week wrote about him because he has really made a bunch of money cornering the market on like high-end shoes or very desired like Nike shoes and and some Adidas shoes and streetwear things that basically like Supreme you know things that when they are released there's a whole line to buy them And what he has done is he's got a crew of people that have all of these bots and credit cards And he can just sort of like get 400 pairs of a certain shoe When only like, I don't know, 1,000 pairs are even being released And then he turns around and he sells them, you know, at a great markup So they write this article about him And it's this kind of real like bootstrappy story About how he like figured this out in high school Because his t-shirts that he bought from Supreme were worth more money and now he's built into this whole business and in fact his they write in this article by the way the piece was by a guy named joshua hunt herbert's biggest score as a young shoe speculator came in january of 2020 he just dropped out of the university of oregon midway through his second term and moved back to portland there he tracked down a man he'd heard about who'd stumbled across an exceptional find an abandoned storage unit that had four pairs of nike mags in them these are the self-lacing shoes worn by michael j fox in back to the future part two he described finding this person and then paying 22 000 for the four pairs of nike mags and then flipping these shoes for 42 000 so he made 20 grand on these shoes and then from there he was sort of off to the races of buying and reselling these things um and in the article it says herbert's competitors all have access to the same software and real-time market research as he does but what they don't have according to some of his followers is consistent sound analysis of what shoes to buy how to get them and crucially how long resellers might expect demand to persist herbert or excuse me hebert declined to talk about his sources of information but he did say he was lucky to have grown up in portland where both nike and adidas based their u.s operations quote if you know the right people here this is the city to sell shoes he said uh the right people can give you access to stuff that like a normal person would not have access to he then declined to name who his sources were well hmm later on and this is who are the right people let's see how might those people be how do you

develop these relationships i'm as somebody who's interested in networking i'm interested in hearing

this at one point in late June.

Hebert phoned me, and the number was identified as belonging to somebody named Ann Hebert.

Oh, I didn't even know that detail.

Yeah, it's like late in the piece. Oh, that's so good. Right? I looked up the name and discovered there was an Ann Hebert who'd worked at Nike for 25 years and had recently been made its vice president and general manager for North America. The press release announcing her promotion noted that she would be, quote, instrumental in accelerating our consumer direct offense which by the way means the includes the app that nike has that allows you to buy these very sought after shoes so his mom is running the part of the operation that he's using to get his hands on these shoes i didn't read the actual

bloomberg piece i was kind of i was picking up bits and pieces of this story via twitter yesterday And then, you know, I landed on some article that sort of summarized the Bloomberg piece. But they also mentioned that, you know, he was being forthcoming to the Bloomberg reporter, who, by the way, I want to say one thing. I just happened to stumble on this. Joshua Hunt, who wrote this big piece for Bloomberg, also has written the book University of Nike, how corporate cash bought American higher education. So it sort of looks like this is his beat. And he's, you know, he's kind of poking around, which is good.

By the way, that's a book that I want to read as an angry University of Washington fan Because we just consistently get whooped by Oregon now And for people like me who are just looking for some kind of excuse for why my teams can't beat Oregon I blame it on all the Nike money that Phil Knight pumped into Oregon Although they're kind of interchangeable Right. Right. Right. Right. The idea that basically they bought a bunch of successful football, basketball, et cetera, teams because they had all this money. Like if you're a recruit and you go to the Oregon athletic program and you have like a flat screen TV in your locker and all of the cool Nike gear and all the things that come with it, of course, you're going to go there and not the UW. But anyway, sorry, that's a little tangent from my butt hurt Husky position.

But I was going to say there is one detail in the kind of summary article I was reading that said, you know, this kid Hebert, Joe Hebert, right, is, you know, being pretty forthcoming with the reporter and, you know, giving the quotes that you just read, Luke. And then eventually the reporter says, by the way, you know, brings up the topic of who his mom is. And then suddenly the kid just like will not talk anymore, just like clams up and is like, nope, I'm done.

yeah uh this is the from that from the bloomberg business week article uh he he finally because you know the guy figures out that his mom is the person who runs the app uh the the kid says uh she'd inspired he said she had inspired him as a business person but that she was so high up at nike that she was uh that she was removed from what he does and that he'd never received in inside information from her he insisted that she not be mentioned in this article and cut off contact not long after our conversation that's not how this works right i mean look i this kid seems to be on his grind honestly having read this entire bloomberg piece no joke like i don't it's not just a francis from you know peewee's big adventure thing because it is it sounds it sounds like i mean he's making a crap load of money but it also sounds like a lot of work like he wakes up at 3 a.m gets all of his you know buddies who are in his crew to all like log on and then they just go to town buying up all of this stuff that's uh you know that's very desired like it's and he has these warehouses and he's figured out a subscription system where like people pay 250 a month just to follow him and learn his his tips of the trade or tricks of the trade so the kid sounds like he's actually kind of is pretty motivated but it's also not a total coincidence that his mom was in charge of this app and has now stepped down from nike okay so i'm a little bit

out of my depth here so let me ask you if i'm right about this is this story a little bit less of a condemnation of him well i mean listen it's not good i know that like i think his dad started the company then transferred it to him you know like it just seems like there's some stuff going on here you know it might have been his mom actually but yeah oh was i thought it was in

his dad's name but anyway maybe there was a credit card receipt that went back yes there's a lot of

tweets flying yes that was the detail that i was building up to before and then i punted at the last minute that it wasn't that he stopped talking that's right it was that it was that um something was charged on his mom's credit card but is the bigger story here luke is this more of a condemnation of this secondary sneaker market that i really do not understand and the relationship with the companies that are the primary sneaker market in other words like our companies like nike or as i keep on almost saying nike because we grew up calling them nikes um see we weren't that rich wait no we're just dumb wait hold on we called them pro wings couldn't afford nikes we called we called transformers go bots but um anyway is this more of a condemnation of this this weird system that has been set up where you know companies like nike are making these shoes but then immediately funneling them into the secondary market where they can make more money and these uh you know these smaller companies can make a lot of money but also nike has a whole division that is a secondary market it's like are we getting into the territory of like the um the the the ticket sales for events when we used to go to concerts you know the fact that the secondary market is built up and everybody else is kind of locked out

well that's part of this i think you're right actually like uh that sort of part of the story is all of the uh lengths that this kid and his crew have to go to to try to get around the systems that are designed to try to keep you from effectively scalping these shoes like you're only supposed to be able to buy like i don't know a couple pairs at the most and they have there's all of these pieces of software and apps that will trick like the nike sneaker app or the adidas app or whatever into letting you buy more than you're supposed to so i kind of think the companies well it's hard to know but i mean i don't think the companies would i don't think the companies are trying to you know uh only sell like huge amounts of these limited shoes to like a guy with a warehouse in eugene like i don't think they want that to happen but they're also not totally mad that their product is so desired that people are like you're lining up at three in the morning to get it like one of the things i mentioned in this article is the kind of dance of making enough of the shoes so that there is some supply but not making so much that there's like too much supply they're trying to always get the amount right and i mean it seems like in certain cases they don't have enough of the shoes i mean i just sort of feel like it kind of sucks for young people like if you were 16 years old i mean one of my one of my most vivid childhood memories is saving up my money to buy a pair of jordans from the nordstrom at northgate mall and i i saved up for an entire summer of mowing lawns and i it was 125 for these sneakers i remember the exact amount and i went in i think they were jordan fives i went into that nordstrom And I bought those Jordan fives and I walked out of there and it was like, I was so great. I, when I got in bed that night, I took the shoes out of the shoe box and I placed them on my count, like my, um, clothing dresser so that when I woke up, they would be the first thing that I saw. Like I wanted to open my eyes and see the shoes. Like, that's what it was like. But, you know, if I was a kid now and I wanted to get the Yeezys or whatever is popular, I got to go buy them from this kid, which kind of sucks.

Yeah. Let me ask you something that is tangential to that. Did you always have trouble squaring in your head this idea of having something brand new and nice, but essentially it is something that goes on the ground or goes on your feet and then touches the ground? Because when you were cherishing something that is almost like a collector's item, it's like collecting an expensive baseball card, but then putting it in your bike spokes. Not quite. But you know what I mean?

Yeah. With those particular Jordans, I don't remember having that kind of feeling of being like, oh, no, now I'm ruining them. But I definitely, in my adult life, as I've talked about on the show many times, I have a whole system where, so like right now I'm wearing these, I forget the exact name and you think I would know because I bought them from StockX Sneaker Exchange, which also figures prominently in this article. remember because they're they're quote-unquote dead stock they're a nike from i don't know maybe 10 years ago that they don't really make anymore and i bought them because they're not exactly white so i was wearing um rod lave adidas rod lavers for a long time but they were like pure white and those would get dirty so i always had like a few pairs that were at different stages of getting dirty you know like and the lowest rung was like i'm gonna mow the lawn in these um but then every every sort of like guy my age had started to rock this look of jeans a collared shirt and white sneakers uh that became a very like a very regular look for a lot of people who look like me and so of course because i'm a delicate snowflake of originality i wanted to get a shoe that was a little bit off white and that's when i found this particular one although if you saw me walking down the street you'd be like oh that's a 44 year old white guy wearing uh you know uh slim cut jeans and white sneakers like no it's not even reading to the wider world that these are not exactly white shoes but somehow in my mind it made me less uh you know basic but i ended up buying three pairs of those shoes and i personally drove the stock price up did you actually you I really did because you were buying it from that. The first pair I bought.

was like a hundred dollars and by the time about the third pair was 120 because i was personally affecting the supply of these dead stock sneakers oh man yeah you're almost punishing yourself i know and i have i still have a pair that are in the shoebox in the closet that i have yet to break out because the ones i'm wearing are still you know passable but once those ones are done then

i will bring out the other ones so when you were a kid you didn't like go to because i remember hearing like what podcast was i listening to where somebody was like um broing down and talking about when they were kids and, you know, tennis shoes were really important to them and they would use, like, toothpaste to, like, cover up blemishes on their kicks and whatnot? Like, you didn't go to any great lengths to keep your special shoes special?

I didn't actually. It's funny because we've been sort of joking around the idea that I grew up poor today and that you grew up rich. But I do think, actually, the privilege that I had was noticeable in that I didn't. Like, I remember the first time I saw somebody leave the tag on their hat and I was kind of like huh and I mean I think that and keeping your shoes really clean I associated that sort of stuff often with people of color who I grew up around and went to school with and I think that again I'm kind of speculating here and I could be wrong but my sense is like I saved up my money to buy these Jordans but if I didn't buy them I could have had any other I mean I could have had other shoes my parents would buy me shoes I mean they weren't the greatest but it It was like the idea of preserving something really carefully often I think comes from it being very, very special to you and maybe not being something that you could just get another pair of. And so I didn't grow up in that culture where I was like I got to keep my shoes looking perfect or I got to keep everything looking really good because I think somewhere inside I knew I could get another thing if I needed it. So even though I talk about being poor, I wasn't in a world where I was, like, using toothpaste to try to keep everything looking just so. Again, I associate that with a different kind of growing up experience than I had.

Yeah, yeah, I see. But I do like that. I'm trying to think of other examples in my own life, not that you asked for them. But I like that idea of, like, an object bringing you so much joy as a kid that you wanted, like, just the idea of it brought you joy. And I can't think, I mean, I feel like I know that feeling, but I can't think of the object in my life that filled that role. It was cinnamon toast, but the rich kind. Yeah, exactly. Those raisins.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right. Emails and of emails. Yeah, a couple of things here. I like that I say that to you As if you don't understand how this segment works Every day For nine years Actually I don't think you've been doing the emails and v-mails for nine years But from whatever point that we started this Every day I say to you Alright Angela let's do the emails and v-mails As if that strong bad sound effect does not tip you off That that's the part of the show we're at

Well we can talk about that Especially doing the show remotely When you are the person who's usually doing Most of the talking and firing of the audio So you do cue the other person. I found myself doing that with Genevieve and Hannah, especially on Spotless now that Hannah is remote. You know, like I try very hard, especially on that show, not to be like a lead voice like that. That was something that we had talked about when we first started, that I wanted us to both have like kind of equal voice. Sometimes Hannah starts the show. Sometimes I do. But I feel like when you're the person who's firing all the audio and keeping the train on the tracks, like it is very instinctual to say. Is that a word? I feel like I say instinctual a lot. I think it's a word. All right. Let's just say it's instinctual to kind of cue the other person so that they know when to jump in. So don't beat yourself up.

That's good. That makes me feel less bad. By the way, instinctual is very much a word. Nice. I can't play the pronouncer because I'm also playing the email music, which, by the way, Andrew, indicates that it's time to do emails and V-mails. Instinctual. Relating to or denoting an innate, typically fixed pattern of behavior based on instinct.

So there you go. Instinctual. Trying to do my best to sound like the robot. I just wanted to mention yesterday on the show and a little bit earlier today on the show, we were talking about TVTL history and we had toyed with the idea of bringing back like this day in TVTL history where we play like two or three minutes of what happened on a previous show on that day. everybody gets it stop talking while stop explaining it this day in TV tale history pretty clear what I'm talking about there a lot of support for that idea got a lot of text messages last night a lot of excitement a lot of hand clapping so maybe we can play around with that I don't know if it's the type of thing that people who aren't into the idea don't feel like reaching out about it like I just don't know that that's I don't know I'm still struggling a little bit but if we keep it short and also let's face it this is a little bit of extra work for me, which means we'll drop

the idea after like two weeks anyway we'll forget that's not true if it was extra work for me we would drop the idea but i'll you know if i were writing the newsletter there would have been two of them two newsletters or two a week two in the history of tvtl i mean so i i just want to i just want to say that you definitely uh you do follow through on things um and so i expect that this

will become a thing so this was an interesting email that we got um from a listener named rachel who was interested in the dazzling detail that you threw out there uh luke that said that a lightning bolt is as hot or is hotter than the surface of the sun is that the detail right um

yes go ahead well i heard i just was gonna say where i heard it i heard it from the amazon robot because i was playing i would i wanted to play jeopardy on the robot the other day oh yeah and but you only get one freebie and then they want you to pay who would pay for content andrew and so after i used up my free jeopardy episode uh or whatever little quiz then i was just looking for other trivia to play and so i i the robot then presented me with some i don't even remember what it's called but it was the thing some other weird trivia game in there is what then told me that the that a lightning strike is hotter the lightning itself is hotter than the

surface of the sun well thank you also for covering for me there i don't know if you could tell it got a little bit awkward theo came in here my old man cat he started yelling um so i was trying to mute my mic and calm him down uh while i asked you to fill in the old cat yells at cloud old old cat yells on pod um so rachel says so when luke mentioned that lightning thing i went on a real journey with that information at first i had to fact check it and it's dare you know what you should do when i say something on the show yeah so it's true and then i wanted to know more information about why we don't just get incinerated when lightning strikes i found out that heat transfer has a lot to do with the length of exposure and one person even pointed out that there have been several people who fell into lava and were removed quickly enough to only sustain some burns that was a what your what there was counting crows esque my friend that was pretty good that's the sound of somebody falling into lava

I cannot believe that you can survive falling into hot lava.

And, okay, but wait, there's more. And I've got to kind of get my screen ready here for this next part because Rachel says, okay, so they were removed quickly enough to only sustain some burns. I needed to know more. So I found this dazzling detail in a book about a man's journey with lava in Hawaii. I've highlighted the paragraph worth reading. So she sent me a screen cap and here we go. The whole process was a bit like dipping an ice cream cone into a large pot of molten chocolate. If the ice cream is left in, it will melt and mix with the tasty liquid sauce. The tasty liquid sauce? Have we used that as a show title? I feel like they didn't want to say chocolate two sentences in a row, which is fair. You were just mentioning the trouble. The white stuff. Right, exactly.

If a tembler happens when the white stuff is coming down, you're going to fall into the tasty liquid.

And joining us, plus joining us, if the cream is left in, it will melt and mix with the tasty liquid sauce. However, if quickly removed, a rind of crisp chocolate molds around the cold interior, creating a chocolate-coated ice cream treat. Anyone who has had a chocolate-dipped cone knows that about the first nibble at this treat often shatters the chocolate, which falls away in pieces and stains one's favorite shirt. Jeffrey, I assume this is the victim here. Jeffrey did not mind at all when his leg mold shattered quickly and fell to the ground. That lava mold was still pretty hot. So in other words, this lava acted as chocolate on a chocolate tip cone, and it started to crack off of the victim.

Wow.

I mean, I guess, like, you know, you can put a, I wouldn't advise it, but you can, like, put a cigarette out on your tongue, or you can put, you know, people that eat fire are putting their mouth in contact with, although I think that probably has to do somewhat with the, you know, your spit or your saliva, right? Putting it out.

I'll bet you that's kind of heat transfer as well. I don't know, but I think it has to do with the amount of time it's in there. And, yeah, it's like you're putting a flame quickly next to your skin is different than actually putting your hand on a hot metal surface.

Well, Rachel, thank you for the email.

You, I mean, you have pushed. my dazzled button.

That sounds kind of dirty. We'll beep that out. Okay. Oh, you know what? I'm going to play one more thing for you. This is something that I wanted to... We have a listener asking us a question, and I was going to Google it and come up with an answer, but I didn't do that, so let's hand this one off to the listeners as well. Does anybody know the answer to these questions that Ryan sets out here?

Hey, this is Ryan from Nashville, Tennessee. i so all your talk about uh dressings and condiments lately probably has me more peeked to condiment stuff than i normally would be but i'm eating a burger i picked up from a local establishment here with fries and it came with a few i got it to go to avoid getting covid and it came with a few sorry i'm like burping while i talk so i guess i do it all the time for what I'm talking about, but I got a few packets of ketchup with it, and it's off-brand ketchup, as in not the name brand, like Heinz or whatever, and on it, it says... We can't say it.

It's called the Big Tomato.

Legally, we're not allowed to call it Heinz. This might be another indicator of class and privilege. What kind of ketchup did you have growing up, Luke?

We couldn't afford it. We had to make our own. We probably, I mean, truthfully, we probably had some kind of Western family bullshit. Is that the generic brand? Yeah, that was like the generic brand from, you know, whatever grocery store, which seemed fine. I don't remember, you know, wanting for ketchup or wishing that we had name brand ketchup. But I think we mostly went with generic stuff for things like that.

We were so poor we had to take our thousand island dressing and separate the ketchup from the other ingredients.

We could only afford 900 island. That's the Craigmont of condiments.

That's pretty good. Our house was a very loyal house to Heinz. On the occasion that we would go somewhere else and eat Hunt's ketchup, we were very snobby about it, which I'm not very proud of.

Hunt's did taste different, though.

It did. It was too sweet for me. Yeah. We're also very loyal to Clausen pickles as opposed to Vlasic pickles for those keeping score at home. Okay, let's go back to Ryan.

Is the Vlasic the one with the stork, right?

Vlasic is the stork.

That's the best tasting pickle I ever heard.

And it doesn't have to be refrigerated. It's sold on the shelves of the grocery store as opposed to in the refrigerated section. And I know Clausen, which I buy quite a bit of.

Can I flaunt my privilege? I only buy refrigerated pickles. Me too. And I'm being serious. Yep, me too. If it's non-refrigerated, I don't want to mess with it.

The only exception would be if I'm buying, which I haven't bought in a million years, but if I'm buying pre-sliced pickles for like a picnic or a barbecue or what have you, those are often, you know, warm. But it doesn't matter. Those are like a, are they a condiment?

I'm so hungry for a pickle. I know. All right. Right when we're done, I'm going to walk in the other room and I'm going to just like, just house like three large ass cloths and pickles.

Let's go back to Ryan here. Oh, you know what? I think I just did the wrong thing. Let's go back to Ryan. You know, Ryan had his moment in the sun. Yeah, okay. We're still getting to Ryan's question.

It's off-brand ketchup, as in not the name brand, like Heinz or whatever. And on it, it says fancy tomato ketchup. And I feel like that's a very common thing for a ketchup packet. But it had me wondering, first and foremost, is there any sort of ketchup that is not tomato ketchup and therefore isn't that redundant? And then also, why does it always say fancy before it? So I have two bones to pick with this ketchup packet, and I don't know if you guys have any input on that, but ketchup's like the opposite of fancy, right? And then tomato, it's always tomato. All right, well, anyways, power out.

It went from an inquiry to a bone to pick, which is interesting, but more of a comment than a question. I have one comment and two questions. That ketchup thing The redundancy is interesting I don't know if there's a good answer for that But I almost guarantee that if you type in You know, why is ketchup called fancy on packets A bunch of internet publications Have probably done that deep dive Would you agree with me on that?

I bet that it has been I'd never thought of it, though, by the way I'd never And you know the sad part, Andrew? I've done a friggin' TV story about ketchup ketchup is just one of those american things so common so typical so ubiquitous that most of us never give it a second thought and i'm one of

those people apparently andrew because even though i did an entire tv story about ketchup i couldn't tell you why it says fancy on the packet i can tell you that it came over as a fish sauce originally from um like somewhere in uh in asia it was called ketziap really and they used to make it with mushroom as well it was kind of a oh well that might answer the mushroom based

ketchup maybe that's why they have to indicate that it's um tomato ketchup then not mushroom ketchup and what publication has the headline here's why some ketchups are labeled as fancy but business insider this is the exact kind of publication that i figured would have this answer according to business insider it turns out there actually is an explanation as to why some ketchup is labeled fancy it has to do with usda classification um so let's get to it here as it were mcdonald's was not just throwing the word fancy around in order to elevate public opinion um fancy or us grade a is a usda grade for tomato ketchup which deals with the specific weight of the ketchup in order to qualify as fancy ketchup must have a minimum of 33 percent tomato solids in the sauce as well as meeting other criteria regarding color consistency and

absence of defects man i really that was a missed opportunity uh do you know that um well take a listen to this that you could do with them is make ketchup it took off immediately wait this is not the part of the story i want ability to add flavor to things and we mean everything during the

depression people would go into a small diners and they would order a glass of water and then they would pick up the ketchup and they would add the ketchup and they would have tomato juice at

the end did you know that shut it down no i know that my friend greg um who has a lot of a lot of stories about people growing up poor uh my friend greg who grew up uh pretty poor in brunswick ohio i became friends with him in college and um once he had money he was always broke well he we would like go to the cafeteria and you know i had my food card and i would buy like a big ass meal and he would sometimes buy a white rice and then just take a bunch of ketchup and mix the ketchup

into the white rice let me yesterday we were or the other day we were big on the sort of butter topic but let me just tell you some white rice with some butter thrown in it oh yeah oh man it doesn't get better than that yeah yeah so so that's what that's where your friend greg was wrong he should have gone with gone with butter yeah yeah yeah man so much better than ketchup so yeah well uh those are a couple of wait did that's the we've now finished ryan's voicemail Yeah, I think so.

I think we got, I mean, I think you inadvertently or maybe vertently answered the why it has to be labeled as tomato ketchup. And we definitely got to the answer of why it's fancy.

All right. Well, I think we've done some good work here today. And it's time to wrap the show up. Oh, and we're going to go with that Bill Withers song. Lovely day. Lovely day. The president did what? We need to declare this a holiday. We need to make this a player's holiday. Amp Banks, tell them what's up. All right. That's about the extent of Too Short That I can quote on this show That's pretty much all the words I'm allowed to say that Too Short has said Alright thanks for listening everybody We will be back here tomorrow With more imaginary radio for you So please do join us for that Until then enjoy your Wednesday Stay safe, mask up And please remember No mountain too tall And good luck to all

And the world's all right with me Just one look at you And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day A lovely day

Power out.