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#3376 Different Sides Of The Same Coyne
TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#3376 Different Sides Of The Same Coyne

from TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

March 10, 2021 | 01:06:06 | Leisure, Comedy

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Luke is excited to meet his musical hero, Wayne Coyne, this afternoon...especially after Andrew tells him a spicy detail about the Flaming Lips frontman. Plus, the return of This Day In TBTL History takes us back 5 years and puts Luke and Andrew on some shaky ground.
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:37 | Speaker 3:

Heavenly Father, we thank you tonight for all your blessings you said in all things give thanks. So we want to thank you tonight for these mighty machines that you brought before us. Thank you for the Dodges and the Toyotas. Thank you for the Fords. And most of all, we thank you for Roush and Yates partnering to give us the power that we see before us tonight. Thank you for GM Performance Technology and the RO7 engines. Thank you for Sunoco Racing Fuel and Goodyear Tires that bring performance and power to the track. In Jesus' name, boogity, boogity, boogity, amen.

00:00:39 - 00:00:48 | Speaker 1:

TBTL. Why now? What are they doing? And how can you steer clear of it all?

00:00:48 - 00:00:59 | Speaker 2:

I mean, they're an emotionally stunted group of fundamentally flawed people doing a very silly pseudo job. I tell you, two go-go 80s Reaganauts like us, we could rule this world.

00:00:59 - 00:01:04 | Speaker 1:

There are two types of people in this world. Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't.

00:01:04 - 00:01:10 | Speaker 3:

When do we get to sing, it's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men. You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty, would you?

00:01:10 - 00:01:26 | Speaker 1:

Look, you know, we're both taking our time out of our days to do this with you, so just have a better attitude. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

00:01:26 - 00:01:30 | Speaker 2:

You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

00:01:30 - 00:01:33 | Speaker 1:

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

00:01:33 - 00:01:34 | Speaker 2:

Hi, everybody!

00:01:35 - 00:03:40 | Speaker 1:

Coming to you today from the Ambassador Hotel in beautiful Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Oh, Ma, Pa, it's just beautiful. It is a lovely Wednesday. Got out on a little jog in the, I think it's called the Heritage Hills neighborhood here in Oklahoma City, which is one of the more beautiful neighborhoods I've ever been in anywhere, maybe in the world. and as I was jogging down this very picturesque street full of these beautiful homes and you know soccer goals in the front yard and kids stuff out in the you know out in the driveway I looked over and a kid had built a on the sidewalk had built like a ramp a jump for their little BMX bike and I don't know what was going through my head but for some reason I just decided to run up the ramp like I'm a 44 year old person this is not a good idea for any like at all and I don't know what I was doing but I stepped on the ramp and just heard a tremendous crack i'm pretty sure i broke it so if you live on 16th avenue northeast and you're about 10 or 11 years old and you came out today to find your bike ramp broken i want to apologize i don't know why i did that i didn't leave a note i just hightailed it out of there anyway so my day is off to a hot start hope your day is going well and i can tell you episode 3376 in a collector's series let the fun begin it's going to be an absolute blast um we have a lot of top stories to tell you about including the fact that major one of the first dogs that is to say the dogs that the bidens have

00:03:40 - 00:03:47 | Speaker 2:

living with them at the white house i'll say what's up dog major has been sent back to delaware

00:03:47 - 00:04:22 | Speaker 1:

for biting a Secret Service staff member. So we will update you on what's going on with the first pooches. I almost said doggins. I mean, I have been guilty of saying doggins and texting doggins many times in my life. But I'm trying to do it less. So anyway, I'm going to go with pooch. I think that's better. Pooch sounds mildly dirty, actually. um also we're going to tell you about the latest uh with elon musk's plan he has launched over a

00:04:22 - 00:04:28 | Speaker 2:

thousand satellites voters cannot travel through the vacuum of space um because uh he is trying

00:04:28 - 00:04:59 | Speaker 1:

to build a a satellite internet network which would mean you could get uh internet service anywhere on planet earth but uh some other companies are like hey could you not put so many satellites in space, please, Elon Musk, because we're trying to run our satellites up here. Like, DirecTV is mad. So we'll talk about that. And then speaking of the internet. Welcome to the internet. T-Mobile is going to let advertisers in on your browsing history unless you tell them not to. That sounds.

00:05:00 - 00:05:55 | Speaker 2:

Not like a great thing Although, I don't know, maybe there's some If you're going to get ads, wouldn't you like to get ads That are based on things you've been looking for? I don't know And also, I think we're going to see the triumphant return Of this day in TBTL history Today as well If the email that I just received from this young man Is to be believed, he is the longest running co-bro of the show He is known for his drawings Of tall ships He is Andrew Everything's fine down there And he is joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. Hi, Andrew. Good morning. Now, while I was doing my little opening for the show, I just saw an email come in, like the preview function. And it just said, don't forget. What I was able to scan while talking was, don't forget and also this day in TBTL history. And I just, I went for it, Andrew, without actually reading the email. I assumed that what you're telling me is we're also going to do this day in TBTL history today.

00:05:55 - 00:06:20 | Speaker 1:

I mean, if you want, I don't want to force it. And I also didn't mean, I didn't think you would see that while you were talking. Sorry, of course you would see it in the preview function. I just thought you'd get done with your shtick. You'd say hello to me. Then you'd click over to another tab and you would monitor your email and you'd see, oh, yeah. A little reminder here that we're going to do TBTL history today. Bring back that old, that old, that, what's the expression I'm looking for? Bring back that old. Doggins.

00:06:21 - 00:07:17 | Speaker 2:

That old pooch. You think pooch sounds dirty, huh? I don't know. I mean when I said it like three times in a row by the way that was when the email was arriving if the listeners wanted just like a view into my brain or at least if you want to go back in real time right when I was saying about to say doggins you'll hear a pause and that's the pause of me receiving email by the way that was that was the right call and I seamlessly or almost seamlessly integrated it into the top of the show Andrew so yeah but I don't want to be a bully here with this either like I mean no I'm excited about it okay yeah so I did we have to choose between talking about Starlink satellite technology or playing this day in TBTL history well it's actually debatable which one I know more about you think I'm being sarcastic I mean that's just how little I remember from the show over the course of these many years uh you know I I would you'd assume that I would have more information about TBTL this thing you and I've been doing for years and years but

00:07:17 - 00:08:20 | Speaker 1:

it's that's not a given well there's a lot of there's a lot of noise there it's hard to remember all of the details when we're when we're clattering away like this every day but i um okay at some point in the show we can play this tape i do want to say that um and we should talk about where you are and what you're doing right now because that's more important and interesting but um i will say this we were thinking about doing this day in tbtl history go back let's say five years to the day and play a little clip from the show then and that's exactly what we have cued up here uh that we'll play later but i i just thought it was fortuitous this time that exactly five years to the day is actually kind of an interesting time it's not just like a random wednesday like it's actually something was actually kind of happening uh in our lives and in the um in kind of the the the format of the show so anyway we'll go back we'll listen to that later on but in the meantime i'm excited you're um you're two hours later than me you're enjoying the 11 30-ness of it all right now is it oh am i 9 30 here in a beautiful part of the country

00:08:20 - 00:09:59 | Speaker 2:

interviewing your favorite band i am so excited about this andrew uh i'm when we wrap up here i'm going to be heading over to wayne coin's house which is kind of a compound here in oklahoma city like he apparently bought his house where he still lives for twenty thousand dollars when he got his first record deal oh geez and it's kind of interesting because i just mentioned the top the show where my hotel is is on the kind of edge of this neighborhood called heritage hills which is i mean it's so stately it's unbelievable and that's not where wayne coin lives he lives i google street view street mapped his house like you going to a restaurant for the first time yeah yeah sure because the producer sent me the address and i was like let's see what this is all about he lives in an extremely normal neighborhood um near where he grew up i guess and uh uh but But I don't do you would you do you think it's a violation if I read you a text that Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips sent our producer? It doesn't identify where he lives. Nope, it does not. I mean, it wouldn't give away a personal and it reflects well on him. I mean, first of all, when you're doing an interview with a person who's of some amount of celebrity status, usually there's a lot of handlers. And usually the person that's being interviewed, the celebrity themselves, is not texting the producer. They're just not involved at that level. This was the text that our producer was sent. Hey, it's Wayne Flaming Lips! I'll mention that Hay has two exclamation points. Very glad and excited that y'all are here. Thumbs up. Heart emoji. Heart emoji. Heart emoji. Globe emoji.

00:10:00 - 00:10:25 | Speaker 1:

emoji globe emoji or maybe planet emoji my wife katie her mom gene and me we're all vaccinated got a second one last saturday heart um prayer hands prayer hands prayer hands prayer hands and we have a baby parenthetically his name is bloom and he is the cutest thing ever santa claus star santa claus star angel angel angel angel that's the message he sent our producer

00:10:26 - 00:10:28 | Speaker 2:

Is Wayne Coyne the Zodiac Killer? What is he?

00:10:31 - 00:10:32 | Speaker 1:

No, that's Ted Cruz.

00:10:33 - 00:10:45 | Speaker 2:

Oh, right, right, right. I was just trying to – I don't speak emoji very well, so I was starting to get lost in – Well, I don't speak that language of emoji either. I was trying to figure out what the planets meant, and then at a certain point I released desire on it as you continued on.

00:10:46 - 00:11:01 | Speaker 1:

Something tells me that Wayne Coyne invented emojis and has been using them for hundreds of years. Yeah, they're both runes. With all of the – I'm going to put four runes in your studio, Andrew, and then you're going to be trapped.

00:11:01 - 00:11:02 | Unknown:

I forgot.

00:11:05 - 00:14:02 | Speaker 1:

Spoiler alert about my plans to contain Andrew. Right. Yes. I'm not identifying what that's a reference to in case – I know. I almost did. In case there are people for whom it will be a spoiler. But anyway, yeah, I'm very excited to go get to talk to him and because I've been a fan of the Flaming Lips music for a long and by the way, I was on my little jog this morning listening to the Soft Bulletin, which was the album that they that really, really, really made an impression on me. and actually my ex-wife who's an installation artist first ex-wife by the way uh if you're scoring at home uh she actually made a bunch of artwork i was remembering this on the jog like sculpture based on the song uh waiting for superman the flaming lip song that's off of the soft bulletin and i just was reminiscing about how like big of a deal the flaming lips have been other than the band wilco i've probably they're probably the band i've seen live the most and of course also once I weaseled my way on stage uh with them at Sasquatch and I found that photo too and I'm gonna print it out and bring it and just like I mean that I've told this story about a thousand times on the show but I'm it's not I'm not exaggerating when I say that that little moment that happened with me and this dude Wayne Coyne from Flaming Lips it has had a profound impact on my life because what happened was my friend Lynn who was uh you know kind of very instrumental and important at Sasquatch World she knew that I loved the Flaming Lips and so she just kind of hatched this plan to get me on stage with them and she kind of grabbed Wayne Coyne like on the backstage like five minutes before they go on stage in front of all these people and she says hey we're doing a birthday celebration for the festival and this guy Luke is going to come on stage in the middle of your set with a cake okay and i you know if it were me i would have been like the fuck out of here with that idea like this is my show this is my show i got a plan there's thousands of people that have come to see me and my band and like again i mean again i know i've told the story so many times but it just he was not that way he was like oh that sounds awesome oh you know what let's actually really go big with it we'll play happy birthday it'll be fun like he got Reggie Watts out there like he just he just was like so game and it like I think about that a lot because there's so many times where with my little silly endeavors a public radio variety show or something uh where if things don't go exactly the way I want or if someone in any way uh impedes or that's not the word I'm looking for but if somebody kind of like in any way uh messes with my notion of how things should go i become extremely defensive and extremely upset and i want to you know i want to try to be more like wayne coin in those things you know i

00:14:02 - 00:14:08 | Speaker 1:

want to send more texts that have santa claus in them during the month of march which i'm assuming

00:14:08 - 00:14:13 | Speaker 2:

that maybe that's like i'm a i'm a papa now because that came after we have a baby and then the image

00:14:13 - 00:14:19 | Speaker 1:

of santa claus some angels in there so it's like santa like dad dad and then the and then angel

00:14:19 - 00:16:06 | Speaker 2:

angel sure i have a wayne cloyne story that i've been sitting here because i have it's not a story and it's nowhere i mean it's like the opposite of yours as far as being touching and interesting and also i honestly don't even know if i should tell this story because it's a little bit risque but i am i am not as steeped in the world of the flaming lips as much as you are in fact i'm only familiar with one record which i like a great deal yoshimi battles the pink robots i think it's called and i actually came to that through a mashup album somebody did a mashup album of that combining that with a bunch of um other songs i don't know if there was a theme to the other side yeah although i don't know know if you would sometimes when you really truly love an album and you know the original sometimes the mashups aren't as good um that was by the kleptones if anybody wants to look it up the kleptones did several records in the early 2000s um anyway so that's my connection to the band i think of that album i think of the summer that i discovered that album and genevieve and i were painting our house and listening to the kleptones in new hampshire but now when you say wayne coin not the flaming lips when you say Wayne Coyne I have one thing that always pops in my head and it is related to my former employer KCRW uh in Santa Monica California and at the time we were working in a very tiny uh underground building on a college campus it felt very much like community radio and is very cramped down there um but huge names would come through and perform on Morning Becomes Eclectic and um they had a photographer on staff who would take these beautiful black and white photos of the famous people who rolled through most of them being musicians and they would hang on the walls um have you been there luke were you ever at the old building of kcrw

00:16:06 - 00:16:19 | Speaker 1:

no i um i think i picked vanessa up there a few times maybe but like was just outside this show by the way is going to be a real cavalcade of uh former relationship partners

00:16:19 - 00:17:09 | Speaker 2:

of mine right right get a bingo card made up for that alone and we'd have a clean sweep anyway these photos were just really beautiful and cool and arty and there was a big one of Wayne Coyne that I would see every single morning as I walked in the door I should also say I don't know if I should say this or not but my frame of mind at the time wasn't great the job was really stressing me out so every morning when I walked in I was usually the first person in the building it was like six in the morning or six I don't remember what time I got in but I wanted to get in before the rest of the team so that i could kind of get my ducks in a row um and so i'm coming in kind of anxious and jittery every morning and i'm always greeted by this big photo of wayne coin that would like look right as i open the door turn the corner boom i'm face to face with

00:17:09 - 00:17:21 | Speaker 1:

this big beautiful photo of wayne coin as you're feeling like probably a lot of stress and pressure yes like that horrible feeling of entering a job that you don't feel great about but that doesn't

00:17:21 - 00:17:28 | Speaker 2:

give me bad vibes but what this is where i don't know i've told this story to one other person in

00:17:28 - 00:17:42 | Speaker 1:

my life the photo have i know but did i tell you no but i i know where this is going what is he packing heat how did you know that well you said it was risque and you said you keep using the word

00:17:42 - 00:18:23 | Speaker 2:

huge and big picture of wayne he's wearing a suit he's wearing a suit with an open collar at the top and you know he's dressed he's wearing pants and everything but through the pants you you're you're greeted with something that once i noticed it i couldn't not notice it anymore and it's it's not supposed to be the focal point of the image it's not a filthy image but it's there and it just every morning said good morning to me and did you know that is he also realize is he famous for this Or were you just picking up from my hesitation to finish my story or what?

00:18:23 - 00:18:37 | Speaker 1:

I don't know that he's identified with BDE, but previous to this, but he forever will be now with our listeners. But no, I don't know if that's like the commonly held. It's not like Tommy Lee or something.

00:18:38 - 00:18:44 | Speaker 2:

OK, and it wasn't like Vanessa had said to you, boy, there's this photo of Wayne Coyne in there. You could just pick up where I was going with that story.

00:18:44 - 00:18:53 | Speaker 1:

because when you know she never mentioned it but the fact that she didn't mention it makes me suspicious and i can't rule it out as one of the factors in our breakup anyway um so that's i don't

00:18:53 - 00:19:10 | Speaker 2:

know if you want to i don't know how you turn that into a question but if you want to ask him that on cbs sunday morning aren't we changing the name of that though so it's not date and time related anymore well we can work on that later yeah we're changing the show's name to wayne coins giant package okay let's let's move on i just thought i would be able to tell it and then

00:19:10 - 00:19:40 | Speaker 1:

we can move on so now let's have you met me hey by the way i do this okay we're doing this i'm bringing in a third i'm bringing a third x into the mix remember how on yesterday's edition of the show i was saying that carrie had said that i had the least gross feet of anyone that she had uh you know dated or been married to and i texted her during the show and she it took her a little bit of time to get back to me but she did and she said yes i did say that so uh there

00:19:40 - 00:19:48 | Speaker 2:

you go it's official okay my feet are gorge yes i wonder how she took that text when it just came

00:19:48 - 00:20:47 | Speaker 1:

in i said it's a tbtl thing we oh okay gotcha you know i want to leave our business uh you know um mostly alone on this show just because i want to be respectful to somebody else's life but i i think it's okay for me. to say that we text all the time and we are very, very amicable folks to the degree that I can text her and say, is it true that I had the least gross feet of any of your bows? And she says yes with like a confused emoji. So yeah, and I just wanted to close the loop on that and let everyone know that Wayne Coyne might, you know, he might have a python, but I've got some just beautiful feet. I really, really hate that I brought that up. I love that you brought it up, and I will try, because, Andrew, as a 3.1, as a 3 with a one wing, we know. I was trying to do that from memory. Is that where we came down on things? Because we actually recorded that show with Lauren, by the way, getting some great feedback on that episode.

00:20:47 - 00:20:54 | Speaker 2:

Yes, people are really into the Enneagrams and also, I think, us digging into our psyches a little bit.

00:20:54 - 00:21:26 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, I feel like we used to do that a lot. We've kind of done it less, which is probably okay. I mean, it's like I don't want to mind that every single day, but I did have some – I had a little bit of a flashback when we were recording that episode of like there have been plenty of times on the show where we have gotten into our emotions or into our whatever, our feelings and stuff. But anyway, were you a – it was Monday, so I've done a lot of living since then. Were you a 3.1? Is that – did I get that right? I am a – No, you were six.

00:21:26 - 00:21:45 | Speaker 2:

I'm a six-wing five. I had to look this up, though. Actually, you going on that little tangent there really saved me because I was pulling my PDF out of my virtual trash can, and I did find it here. I was a six-wing five, but my second type was a type one. So type six and type one, yeah.

00:21:45 - 00:22:10 | Speaker 1:

So commonly known as a double three. A double three wing. You add two threes together. You add three together, and then you get six. So when I called you a three, I wasn't totally wrong, which is very 7.1 of me. If you go on the chart, they call it a double three wing two 2.5s. Sure. You know who's got a real double three? Come on. Wayne Coyne. All right. Sorry. We should take a break.

00:22:10 - 00:22:13 | Speaker 2:

Now it's in your head. You're going to meet him today. It's all you're going to think about.

00:22:14 - 00:22:30 | Speaker 1:

Why did he use so many eggplants in that text? Very confusing. All right. Let's take a quick break, and then we'll come back. We'll do this day in TVTL history, and we'll do the top stories as well. Stay with us. It's TVTL.

00:22:31 - 00:22:40 | Speaker 2:

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dazzle. Everybody rattle, dazzle.

00:22:41 - 00:25:02 | Speaker 1:

Let's thank our dazzling donors. These are the fine folks who are donating a dazzling amount of dough and making the show possible. Today, we want to start by thanking Paul Jorgensen of Chattanooga, Tennessee. Hey, friendos, it's Paul, a.k.a. the Tokyo Gringo, a Yakult Swallows game attendee, former Detroiter, now a 1010 living in Chattanooga. So that'd be like a 10 from Tennessee, a T-E-N-N, like the Volunteer State. Why are they called the Volunteer State? That must have to do with the Revolutionary War. Well, they wouldn't have been a state. It must have been for the Civil War. They volunteered. We looked this up one time, and I remember that I then forgot it. So I don't know. Well, that's where Paul is, and he says, I'm now living in Chattanooga, who crushed on a girl in a music for your weekend and sent her a Blur's Day as my girlfriend, still together. Nice. Well, I'm glad somebody can keep a relationship together. uh i'm gonna start bringing in like amy harris from eighth grade this show has a weird vibe today man uh let's see um paul continues uh i'm a one-time fill-in newsletter writer on slack and your self-appointed cyber security correspondent i'm writing this as i i'm embarking on a new journey to seoul south korea i don't know if i'll turn into a it'll turn into a longer engagement and what that might mean but as i've done for so long tbtl will travel with me luke either doesn't like my many music for your weekend suggestions or is keeping them for his for himself so saturdays often start with crushing disappointment oh my gosh paul paul has has has put voice to my worst fear which is that people will think that because their music for your weekend doesn't get played it's me passing judgment on them and or they're tuning in with anticipation and being let down um i am so sorry paul it's a combination of things one uh i i have a very long file of music for your weekend um excuse me but of course i can always use more suggestions luke at tbtl.net but Paul, don't bother Paul.

00:25:02 - 00:25:03 | Speaker 2:

No, we get the message, Paul.

00:25:03 - 00:25:06 | Speaker 1:

Wait, wait, no, he gets the message. Wait, wait, who's sending you a message?

00:25:08 - 00:25:27 | Speaker 2:

Luckily, Andrew has my back. He sees me and my garbage anxiety. Wow. Amen. Listeners, really, I wonder if Paul is a double three. That's why he vibes with you. Yeah. And I do mean in the WayneCoin department. Hey, why did you send me that picture in Pinterest? Now I have to sign into Pinterest if I want to look at WayneCoin junk.

00:25:27 - 00:25:39 | Speaker 1:

Oh, really? I found the phone. Found the photo online. I didn't really – don't worry. It's not that – Can it be a show pic? It's not that spectacular. No, it's a copyrighted photo by a photographer. Anyway, let's just move on.

00:25:40 - 00:26:23 | Speaker 2:

Luckily, Andrew has my back. He sees me and my garbage anxiety. Please retire, but I have no gold to give spot. Whatever the song is behind it, it grates on me and is loud. I don't know what Paul is talking about, but I feel like Paul is in a reactionary state when he says this because he's not getting his songs played on music for your weekend. And then he's got to go off and and and be critical of our background music on our I assume that's is that a call to action for the listeners to to to maybe rate and like us in iTunes or something? Oh, do you say that? It sounds like me saying probably something along the lines of we should record some new ones of those. I want to apologize to the listeners. I didn't think those were running anymore.

00:26:23 - 00:26:26 | Speaker 1:

OK. You know that feeling when. Oh, OK.

00:26:26 - 00:26:34 | Speaker 2:

Paul, I'm sorry that we're using your dazzling donor time to get into this, but you kind of know the drill at this point, right? I'm going to share this song. What is this?

00:26:34 - 00:26:35 | Speaker 1:

I hate so much.

00:26:36 - 00:26:54 | Speaker 2:

When you're watching something on demand sometimes, because of how those commercials get put into those kinds of on-demand type of deals, sometimes it'll just be the same ad. You'll have to watch it. You can't fast-forward maybe because you're watching it for free on Peacock or something.

00:26:54 - 00:26:58 | Speaker 1:

Or your hands are wet while you're washing dishes. That's a big one for me while I'm listening to a podcast.

00:26:59 - 00:27:13 | Speaker 2:

And then it's just you end up loathing the advertiser by the end of the show because you've seen this. It's not even like different ads for the same company. It's literally the same ad. It's just mind-numbing. So I apologize if we're doing that to the listeners.

00:27:14 - 00:27:21 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, I can't. I think whatever that is, it's on a different hard drive. So I have no idea what that song is. But I don't know, man. I don't like it. Sure.

00:27:22 - 00:27:24 | Speaker 2:

Well, Paul, you know, we'll consider it. We need to record something.

00:27:24 - 00:27:26 | Speaker 1:

Let's choose it for music for your weekend this week.

00:27:27 - 00:27:42 | Speaker 2:

We'd like to thank former Dazzling Donor Paul Jorgensen. Paul says, would you please go out with In Little Ways by Let's Active? A big fan. I would recommend. I assume Paul's talking about us, but also Let's Active.

00:27:43 - 00:27:44 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, not how we're out.

00:27:45 - 00:27:58 | Speaker 2:

See, Paul, this is how you get your – this is the system, my friend. This is how you get your music for your weekend played on the show. You Dazzling Donate. It's paid away. And we scratch our back and we scratch yours, Brocephus.

00:28:00 - 00:28:03 | Speaker 1:

Let's just hope somebody doesn't have a musical accident.

00:28:04 - 00:28:12 | Speaker 2:

It'd be a real shame if this, if something happened to your precious Let's Active song, Paul. Maestro.

00:28:13 - 00:28:18 | Speaker 1:

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

00:28:18 - 00:28:20 | Unknown:

Everybody rattle, dattle.

00:28:21 - 00:29:22 | Speaker 2:

Everybody rattle, dattle. Next up, we want to thank Dazzling Donor Sarah Hogan of Denver, Colorado. Sarah says, I'm so thankful for TBTL. I've been listening since the radio days, which is both comforting and makes me feel a bit old. You feel old, Sarah. Yeah. We've been doing it all these years. A good chunk of my life has involved the show. I was 17 when I found the show. I'm now nearing 30. Oh, my goodness gracious. Is there something about other people aging or your kids aging? like you know thinking about my daughter being 27 that's the stuff that makes me feel that and when i step on a kid's bike jump ramp and shatter it oh yeah i don't know why i did that by the way like right when i was doing it right when the thing was cracking i was like what are you doing like i didn't even have a plan like what was i gonna jump off of it like i i just literally lost all reason for two seconds just long enough to be running up this bike ramp and breaking

00:29:22 - 00:30:58 | Speaker 1:

it I actually know that feeling believe it or not I know I'm not you don't look at me and you think hey parkour but I know that feeling of it's almost OCD ish at times whether it's just like I need to touch this knob or I need to walk on this curb like as if it's a balance beam or what have you so it's not it's not lost on me this moment that you had but I am curious so you stepped on you heard something crack underneath you didn't see any damage, but there's a chance that you just ruined the structural integrity of it, and now somebody's going to use it thinking it's fine, and they're going to crash through? Well, yeah, it was like a fairly thin piece of plywood, kind of older plywood, right? And like... As in Playa that had maybe been part of like the garage or a house, like it was it was weathered. Yeah. And and it was probably kind of and it probably been sitting out in the rain. You know, it wasn't the strongest piece of wood. And yes, exactly. That's what's going to happen is some kid is going to ride on it and it's going to be the the straw that breaks the bike jumps back. And I've got probably got a bit of a lawsuit on my hands again. I just I don't remember thinking I'll run on this and then I'll jump off the end of it like I'm pretending I'm a bike. Like, that's what's so mystifying to me was I didn't, sometimes I'll, like, you know, I really like running on this one section of graded bridge near the Willamette because you can look right down and it's, like, 30 or 40 feet off the water. And you can just look, you know, and it's kind of springy, too. Like, that, I have a thought about it. Like, oh, I like running on this. It's springy. I have a plan in mind. This, I had no plan. I just did it without thinking. And then just looked like after I cracked it, I just kept going and kind of just like hightailed it out of there, hoping.

00:30:58 - 00:31:03 | Speaker 2:

Did you end up jumping off the end of it? No, I stopped immediately upon hearing the crack.

00:31:03 - 00:32:52 | Speaker 1:

I was like, it like took me out of a trance. I was, as I've already mentioned, I was also listening to the Flaming Lips. I was thinking deep thoughts about, you know, my life and this music and things. And then maybe that was part of it. I don't know. It's just the weirdest thing. And I apologize to those people. And I also apologize to Sarah Hogan for, you know, sullying her dazzling donor message with that little bird walk, as my science teacher, Mr. Boehm, used to call it. Anyway, Sarah says, a good chunk of my life has involved the show. I was 17 when I found the show. I'm now nearing 30. I found friendships and support within the community of tens. TVTL has been with me when I've been very down and has been around when I've celebrated all the good things in life as well. At this point, I can't imagine life without it. I'm so glad the show is still going and will continue to do what I can to help it continue. Peace and love. Peace and love. Wow, Sarah, well, thank you for your donation. It really means a lot to us. And more importantly, it means a lot to our bosses who, upon seeing the donation, say, yes, we will let you work here for another year. So thank you very much for your donation. Thanks for making TBTL possible. hello and welcome to top story so that we don't uh get too long in the tooth here and end up having to skip it why don't we start off with this day in tbtl history andrew um i'm very very curious about this you said that this is not just any old five-year anniversary of doing the show on a Wednesday um but I'm also um quickly typing left-handed ah I don't I don't have my regular computer with me here in Oklahoma City I was going to try we used to have a this day in TBTL history

00:32:52 - 00:33:07 | Speaker 2:

intro I believe yeah that was the email that I sent I sent you an email yesterday because I think Shawnee um saying it out or something right but I never had my hands on that tape so I wasn't but of course you're traveling now so you probably don't have it there right I might have it in my

00:33:07 - 00:33:19 | Speaker 1:

other computer yeah it did not get migrated to this one so apologies to everyone next time we do a this day in tbgl history and if we have to bring sean out of retirement and pay him through

00:33:19 - 00:33:30 | Speaker 2:

fiverr yes we will actually maybe we should just purposely lose that tape so that we can bring him back then we hire him to say beagle baggle boggle boogle yes then we hire him to say make man flame

00:33:30 - 00:33:42 | Speaker 1:

yes to re-record all of his greatest hits it's like when when an artist is in a battle with their label and who has the rights to their music so they just re-record everything they have to get

00:33:42 - 00:33:53 | Speaker 2:

rid of all the samples and replace them with something that is um like in the creative commons yeah um can i i know that we're excuse to bring him back i know that we're here uh to uh celebrate

00:33:53 - 00:34:57 | Speaker 1:

this day in tbtl history but can i just mention uh that i have been listening to a really incredible podcast uh it's called the lolita podcast it's by jamie loftus and we interviewed her for live wire uh this week and it is i will put the caveat out there that it's a very actually serious podcast it takes a look at the book lolita and then all of the cultural impact of it the movies people who played lolita etc etc um and and it's got a lot of really serious conversation in uh in the series so i just want to like let people know that it could be triggering for folks but just Jamie Loftus person is so Brilliant and also really funny And so there will be all these times Of the show where she'll just start singing a song She'll be like because we don't have the rights to that I love it that's great It's so good like I would actually recommend just listen To the first episode Andrew just for that Like her her delivery as a podcaster Is really good It's it's sort of I can't quite Describe it it's different than than anything I've heard but like I thought that was pretty G just just both like very serious

00:34:57 - 00:35:01 | Speaker 2:

And journalistic in a way but also casual and Exactly. Companionship thing. That's what I'm picking up on.

00:35:01 - 00:36:37 | Speaker 1:

Because it's such a well-researched show. I mean, I think it's like 10 or 11 episodes. It goes into the Lolita Tumblr world, which basically when Lana Del Rey came along, she really embraced this kind of Lolita aesthetic. And some of her songs really referenced it. And so it just like injected all this energy into what's called the nymphette community, which nymphette is a word I think that Nabokov invented as part of Lolita. but they self-identified nymphettes and all what was going on over there and people being obsessed with the 1997 version of the film with Jeremy Irons. I mean, the basic, I can't believe this is what we're doing now, but the basic premise of Jamie Loftus's podcast, I mean, it's so nuanced what she does and it's so inclusive, at least it felt so to me as a listener, like it really tries to take into account everybody's experience. She ends up doing a book club during the show, like during the recording of the show with people and just kind of like is constantly getting feedback after every episode and then integrating that into the next episodes, you know, trying to be really, trying to just really be, like I said, inclusive and, and, and, and just like give as many people as possible a voice because everyone has had different experiences with this particular text. Jamie Loftus's point is that what gets left out of almost all of the translations and adaptations of Lolita is that the book actually starts with an intro and the intro is written in, But by a fictional, like, kind of, like, medical expert who is basically saying this, what you're about to read is this manifesto written by a guy, Humbert Humbert, who's currently in jail.

00:36:38 - 00:36:51 | Speaker 2:

Yeah, because it's an unreliable narrator, but that's lost often to history. I'm trying to remember if I've read the book or not. I know I watched the original movie with Peter Sellers, and I can't remember who else. I can't remember who plays Humbert.

00:36:51 - 00:36:59 | Speaker 1:

Was that one directed by, oh, my God, Stanley Kubrick?

00:36:59 - 00:37:25 | Speaker 2:

Did Stanley Kubrick do one? It was a Kubrick movie, wasn't it? I forgot about that. Yeah. And I remember it being a challenging movie, not just because of the content, the material and what it was covering, or the story it was telling, but also just the way it was constructed as a film. And I remember it being somewhat challenging in that way, too, in a way that I appreciated. But again, it's been so long, like decades.

00:37:26 - 00:38:13 | Speaker 1:

But Jamie Loftus, one of her points is that you have to kind of take that, like people forget that part or just haven't read essentially the intro or the foreword. And so if you just start on, like, you know, page one, lo, li, ta, three, you know, tips of the tongue against your teeth or whatever exactly that famous opening passages, which I've clearly committed to memory so well. If you just start there, you think this is a book that's glorifying an extremely predatory relationship. But if you take, if you read the whole thing, it's like this was not Nabokov's, like, you know, he was not advocating for this at all. And then she gets in other stuff like, did you know Lewis Carroll was bad news, the guy who wrote Alice in Wonderland?

00:38:13 - 00:38:18 | Speaker 2:

No, I knew he was a laudanum freak, right? Wasn't he or Cody or something?

00:38:18 - 00:38:48 | Speaker 1:

He was just very – I want to be careful also because I don't want to trigger our listeners by just like randomly springing a conversation about predatory relationships on them when all they wanted to hear was this day in TV tale history. But anyway, would recommend, with the caveat that it covers some pretty intense material, but does it with this incredibly light touch at times, including singing songs that she doesn't have the rights to. So when you've eaten all of your TBTL, then you can have your reward, Jamie Loftus' Lolita podcast. Okay. Yeah.

00:38:48 - 00:39:01 | Speaker 2:

Yeah. I know you want the downloads over here, but also maybe TBTL could be a palate cleanser after dealing with more heavier material. I don't know. All we ask is that everyone— Honestly, the listeners will figure it out.

00:39:02 - 00:39:16 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, we just ask that each listener set up one of those perpetual motion birds that, like, businessmen have on their desks in movies. And you just have it so that when its beak goes down, it clicks download TBTL on your phone. Just let that go all day long, please.

00:39:16 - 00:39:54 | Speaker 2:

Is our official slogan now, download but don't listen? Is that just what we're—you can listen if you want to. I feel like I built this up a little bit much. And also, I'm starting to feel like this is very self-serving, this TVTL history thing. But, you know, like I said at the top of the show, I thought, well, I guess a premise would be let's just pick, like, five years. If we go back ten years, the show is so different. And some people might enjoy that. But it's so different that people who have been listening for the past, like, eight years or whatever and are used to you and I doing our thing might be confused about what's going on. It's Simpsons wavy hair.

00:39:54 - 00:40:00 | Speaker 1:

It was good at its time. Oh, it was great. It's still awesome but yeah But it's different and you're right it's such a different vibe

00:40:00 - 00:40:05 | Speaker 2:

that it would it's almost like doesn't add anything to our conversation now right so i didn't go back

00:40:05 - 00:41:27 | Speaker 1:

10 years i went back five years and i said okay we'll do maybe as long as we remember to do this which i almost forgot today so we'll see if we can make it to week two but um it's like i'll go back and just see what were we doing on march 10th uh 2016 would be exactly five years ago and um interestingly enough like i said it wasn't just a random day of me joining you from my desk in la or a studio at KCRW, I had just moved back to Seattle. And I was living not in my Wallingford house yet. I was staying in this temporary suite in Lower Queen Anne. Oh, right. And this is the day before I actually moved into the Wallingford apartment. And actually, the day before this, on March 9th, 2016, that was the day that you and I drove – we recorded a show of just you and I driving around Seattle. It was the first time you and I had seen each other in some time because I had just moved back to Seattle. and um we just did a show driving around in the scion and like getting coffee at starbucks and talking about the cds that were in my in my car from the road trip up um but anyway that was the day before that was march 9th this is march 10th and um i'm in this like temporary apartment you're somewhere else in another part of town and we're talking on the phone and um what's happening in this clip is you're about to start a public radio beef which spoiler alert as time would have it I

00:41:27 - 00:42:26 | Speaker 2:

believe you won but let's take a listen to this next week we're doing live wire from the Fitzgerald theater in St. Paul which is where they do a prairie home companion so I don't know if like I could if there's if Garrison Keillor has like if there's a prairie home companion logo somewhere on the stage and i could like go dance on it or do something like you know in football you're not supposed to like celebrate on the other team's logo like on the field that's considered like an open sign of disrespect uh fact the university of washington and the university of oregon have a long running beef because supposedly at one point the university of oregon they spit on a bunch of pictures and trophies in the tunnel i don't know if it really happened or not but i mean i guess i could i could try to yeah i mean i could really fire a shot across the bow for a Prairie Home Companion when we're there, maybe deface some of their stuff. I don't know. They seem like pretty nice people, though. I mean, I don't know if they really deserve that. They're also much more popular than we are, although that actually benefits us.

00:42:26 - 00:43:03 | Speaker 1:

That's why you've got to stand out. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be in the audience at that Live Wire show. I am going to hold up a banner that says, Go Garrison! Or I love a PHC! Or something like that. And then you're going to Cam Newton. After the show, you're going to run by and you're going to tear down that banner. I love it. And then, I mean, the social medias are going to explode. I'm sure Garrison is going to have to react in some way. Petitions are going to be written to keep you out of St. Paul for the rest of your public radio career. I think this is good. I'm glad. God, what do you do without me? That's what I want.

00:43:04 - 00:43:21 | Speaker 2:

What did I do before you and I worked together, Andrews? How did I get anywhere in this crazy public radio game is the question. What you could do is, you know how they at college basketball games now, all the rage is to have those giant faces that people hold up to try to distract the people shooting free throws? Do you know about this?

00:43:21 - 00:43:32 | Speaker 1:

Yes, I do. I love it. And didn't we talk to one of them on one of the radio shows we used to work on at Kyra? Yeah. He called that kid up who became very famous for holding up a big picture of his own head, I believe.

00:43:32 - 00:43:49 | Speaker 2:

Yes. His name was Jack something. And he had, I mean, this was early in the early days of doing this. And he made one of his own face, and it was just, like, really distracting and upsetting. The thing is, you could do one of those of Garrison Keillor, except it would just be actual size.

00:43:51 - 00:43:54 | Speaker 1:

Oh, it begins.

00:43:54 - 00:44:04 | Speaker 2:

And so it begins. Nice, man. Shots fired, and that, kids, is why Garrison Keillor is no longer allowed on the radio.

00:44:04 - 00:44:22 | Speaker 1:

Do you like the fact that our very first return of this day in TV show history had to involve somebody who was canceled who was formerly on our network? Was that a safe way to play it? You know, I'm not going to play it safe all the time, Luke. You know, I'm known as the dangerous producer.

00:44:23 - 00:45:09 | Speaker 2:

I think that's actually Danger Mouse, and he's got a trademark on that. Oh, shoot. You're right. he uh it's that's that tape is so fascinating to me for a bunch of reasons one thing i was thinking was i mean obviously that's meant as a joke i mean putting aside the fact that garrison keeler keeler ended up you know being a creep and uh and is is not somebody who uh many people respect any longer because of his sort of personal behavior um but putting that aside i don't even know if i would make that joke about maybe i would i'm what i'm reflecting on is How much I think more careful Believe it or not How much more careful I think I am and we are on this show Even now than we were five years ago

00:45:09 - 00:45:27 | Speaker 1:

Which part of it was it just the very Last insult about the head size Well that definitely I probably wouldn't say Everything else I mean I feel like okay at the end it was one actual Zinger but I mean for the most part I think anybody In context including anybody who Worked on that show would know that we were just We were just spoofing obviously

00:45:27 - 00:47:03 | Speaker 2:

Right, because the joke, we were a fly on the landing on the back, the rump of this elephant that was Prairie Home. I guess so. I don't know. I just, it's, you know, as the listeners know, some people very close to this program have found themselves, you know, in hot water around the things that they've said. Those were things that were off air. and that's a topic that people were emailing us and asking us to talk about uh because a friend of the show and we sort of haven't gotten into it because uh i don't know if there's a lot of upside for us anything we say will be interpreted maybe you know by people in different ways and i just would rather not not get us also in hot water so but it's just funny because maybe that's not a good example of it like that garrison tape but i just i don't know there was something about i can hear a much more freewheeling and carefree version of burbs even then now i feel like i'm really in my head about and in a good way generally like i think inclusion matters and uh being careful with how we talk on this show is an important thing and it's hopefully um makes the you know when listeners reach out and say oh hey when you talked about that thing in that way i didn't enjoy it or it made me feel sad hopefully us you know trying to really be careful about how we talk about people and things is a is a good thing and makes the show more listenable but i don't know there's just something about that energy like i just know that that guy you heard from five years ago was not like is any of this a cancelable offense

00:47:03 - 00:47:16 | Speaker 1:

well you know let me ask you this because i almost told you in advance because i was like boy it was just two minutes of tape that like it's kind of rare that you and i have exactly two and a half minutes of tape that has like kind of a good beginning and end as far as a spoof is concerned

00:47:16 - 00:47:26 | Speaker 2:

how many wednesdays in a row did you look for that and not find it and today we finally was the only discreet as in having a beginning middle and end conversation we've ever had but i mean i

00:47:26 - 00:48:17 | Speaker 1:

grabbed that and i was like oh wow this is you know a little bit interesting because we're you know teasing somebody who's on our own network at the time so that was always a thing but then also in the years since that happened garrison of course has lost his show because as you said because of his behavior um and i almost told you like hey i was thinking about doing this clip i almost ran it by you because i didn't want to make you uncomfortable that's the last thing that i want i don't for the record i do not feel uncomfortable because i mean you can tell me this would be a good place to talk about it if you did like because i certainly don't want to be like i on the show in general i believe we both feel this way we don't want to ever put the other person on their heels you know what i mean like um and so i was like oh is this gonna put luke on his heels but i was like no this is this is totally fine and actually kind of interesting little little piece of history here but um yeah so we can talk about it a little bit would you have preferred not for me not to make you talk about Garrison Keillor and cancellation right

00:48:17 - 00:49:50 | Speaker 2:

now because that's a fair fair point nope not at all I don't feel uncomfortable and I'm I think that's a funny piece of tape I'm also like I thought maybe because it was one of the rare moments where we we started somewhere we had a middle and then we kind of got out I always thought I didn't think that was the worst radio I've ever heard either I'm gonna just call this radio for the sake of you know like i felt like we were kind of riffing it was kind of happening it was it was it was snappy so i actually feel good about that piece of tape you know i i know this has probably come up many times on the show too but on the subject of the fitzgerald theater they you know if you perform there they let you sign a brick in the back of the theater there's like a wall and now this is the part where the listeners are going to know more about my life than i do because i know i've told this story before and i know some listener will remember who it was i now can't remember i want to say it was like paul simon or something like the brick they had me sign was next to or very close to some legit famous person i remember this i think it might have been paul simon that sounds and then i like was like some this is how my raging insecurity works i mean i was very honored and obviously i guess i'm proud of it i'm bringing it up for the umpteenth time on the show but i remember signing this brick and thinking god someone's going to be let down when they see this like someone's going to be okay uh these this these people these people oh cool that person oh paul simon huh what is a luke burbank also my handwriting is terrible when writing on a brick with a sharpie with anybody i mean how was paul simon's well i knew

00:49:50 - 00:50:00 | Speaker 1:

it was paul simon so let's just say there was that oh wait a second no wait was paul simon the senator from Minnesota.

00:50:00 - 00:50:25 | Speaker 3:

Was that the right Paul Simon You know what I never even considered that But it was a music or it's a venue It must have been But he also could have Paul Simon the politician could have had A town hall in there or something It's possible Oh no no I'm sorry he was Illinois He was Illinois Was Paul Songus Where was Paul Songus from remember him

00:50:25 - 00:50:27 | Speaker 2:

I remember the name

00:50:27 - 00:50:34 | Speaker 3:

He was like a swimmer I remember being a kid And thinking That guy should really Shave his head Like I had weird thoughts I believe he ran for president Right

00:50:34 - 00:50:43 | Speaker 2:

Maybe I don't remember that Does that name ring Any kind of bell for you Yeah yeah no And I definitely remember The name He represented Massachusetts

00:50:43 - 00:50:44 | Speaker 3:

Oh okay

00:50:44 - 00:51:11 | Speaker 2:

So we've gotten No closer to The mystery of the brick No but I mean I'm sure that's just I mean it makes sense That Paul Simon I mean it's a musician's play there It's the Fitzgerald theater It was only if it happened to be You know If you If Paul Simon had been a minnesota politician i was like oh yeah maybe that would have been like you know garrison keeler had old because paul simon the politician was kind of a cult of personality in his own way right with his bow tie i knew who he was because of old uh snl clips from like the

00:51:11 - 00:51:53 | Speaker 3:

70s the irony being eventually al franken would go from snl to being a senator from minnesota i know exactly and he portrayed him that's right yeah um there was one drawing of an eggplant on one brick and i think we all know who did that yeah i'm glad you're being so careful these days uh all right you know what uh we we've run out of time for our top stories but that's okay we'll roll them over to tomorrow speaking of rolling over one of them is about the first dog getting in trouble the first pooch um but we'll uh we'll have to get to those tomorrow because uh we're We're almost out of time, and I've got a Wayne Coyne to go talk to.

00:51:55 - 00:52:02 | Speaker 1:

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

00:52:04 - 00:52:16 | Speaker 3:

All right. We do have to do emails, though, because I've been promoting. Well, first of all, we kicked them. We punted them the last two days. I say go for it on fourth and email any time you're on the other side of the 50.

00:52:18 - 00:52:33 | Speaker 2:

Fourth and email. So it's always like it gets to be about this time of the show. I start sweating a little bit like, oh, no show title. We didn't say any show title. And then you give me a fourth an email at garbage time. I'll take it.

00:52:33 - 00:52:50 | Speaker 3:

Thank you. All right. Let's do some emails. I'm really keen on an email, which I don't have in front of me. Maybe you do. But I know a listener was chiming in about whatever that creature is that I think I'm seeing in the Willamette. that I wonder if I'm the only person.

00:52:51 - 00:53:06 | Speaker 2:

Yes. Actually, I don't know that I have it in front of me right now. Is this the one that I had sent to you a week or so ago? I'm sorry. I had heard from other people who said that they had seen it. You sent it to me.

00:53:06 - 00:53:07 | Speaker 3:

I don't know if I – oh, here we go.

00:53:07 - 00:53:11 | Speaker 2:

Here we go. It's from Listener Tracy. Thank you. I've seen the Willamette Sea Monster.

00:53:11 - 00:55:00 | Speaker 3:

That was the worst tap dancing ever. I've seen the Willamette Sea Monster 2, and it is real. This is from Listener Tracy. I get you, Luke. I live in Vancouver, Washington, and I drive into Portland quite often to paddleboard. Last December, I was paddling with a friend near Ross Island in the Willamette River, and I saw what looked like a huge manatee or even a walrus pop out of the water, look at us, and slink back under the water slowly. My friend convinced me that it was a sea lion, and we both agreed it was the biggest sea lion we'd ever seen. we don't have proof of what we saw but the whole experience definitely felt very sasquatchy oh god i love this email i feel very heard or seen or something side note did you know that the portland area is one of the most premier places in the world for stand-up paddle boarding i did not know this tracy uh there's such great paddling community uh here mostly people are in their 40s and 50s and 60s athletes from all over the world come to the columbia river gorge every year for a downwind paddle competition for the not so daring paddlers you'll find many other rivers and lakes to choose from yeah dude because like the gorge is so windy that's why it's like the windsurfing capital of the world too and like those there are some white caps out there on the columbia river through the columbia gorge do not think you could find me on a stand-up paddleboard out there but tracy says you might see me one of these days during one of your jogs if you're looking for a challenging and fun hobby to get into let me know i'll connect you with the right people so you can start learning thank you tracy i i don't really see myself living that sup life that stand-up paddle board life uh i've told you the story of my one stand-up paddle boarding incident right no i don't think so um years ago Cool.

00:55:00 - 00:55:57 | Speaker 2:

uh when i was filming a tv story about that thing the race to alaska that i'm kind of obsessed with that boat race from port townsend to ketchikan uh we went over to this was a cbs tv piece and we went over to friday harbor and met up with a guy named who goes by the name of captain ken and he is like a renowned stand-up paddleboarder and in fact he was going to stand up paddleboard The race to Alaska However many, 700 miles or something Which is craziness And so he was showing us his paddleboard And we're out in the harbor Like if this is the salt water or the ocean It's 40 degrees And the producer, same guy, Anthony Who I'm now here in Oklahoma with Was like, we should get some footage of you on the stand-up paddleboard And I was like And I think of myself as a sort of pretty Adventurous bloke But I was like Had never been on a stand-up paddleboard I was in my normal clothes. I also had a very expensive microphone on my body. Is this ringing any bells?

00:55:58 - 00:56:04 | Speaker 1:

No. I mean, I remember a helicopter part of this story, but that was very different, and we're not allowed to talk about that.

00:56:05 - 00:56:09 | Speaker 2:

No, we are not. That was Garrison Keillor's helicopter, if anybody asks.

00:56:09 - 00:56:10 | Speaker 1:

That's right.

00:56:10 - 00:56:41 | Speaker 2:

Now we can go hard on him. Anyway, but because I never want to be seen as being kind of not adventurous, I got on the stand-up paddleboard, which I had never been on before, and I came so close to falling, Andrew. To this day, if I think about it, I feel terror through my body because I got onto the stand-up paddleboard, and immediately it started just wobbling underneath me like it was trying to shoot out from under me. It looks so hard.

00:56:41 - 00:56:44 | Speaker 1:

Actually, it looks easy, but I know it's hard.

00:56:44 - 00:57:46 | Speaker 2:

Well, and if I were on a lake and I was in my swim trunks, this would not have been a big deal. In fact, I probably would have done better because the stakes wouldn't have been so high. Like I was in again, I was in like a light jacket and jeans, a collared shirt, my vans like and was going to have to, I think, take a either a small plane or a ferry home. Like had I fallen in the water, it would have been a disaster for me for the rest of the day. And somehow, I don't know, I had my little, in the words of Amy Grant, angels watching over me, getting real biblical, because somebody sent me a photo from Burbank, California, that said it was on a church, a church-like reader board, and it said Burbank's got talent. Oh. And I assume that was God telling the world that I've got talent. So I've been feeling very in touch with some kind of higher power now, talking about angels. Anyway, somehow I managed to not fall in the water, but it was so traumatizing that I don't think you'll ever get me back on the stand-up paddleboard.

00:57:46 - 00:58:22 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was going to say, stand-up paddleboarding, I know that it's very difficult. I know that it's good for your core. This is the saddest thing you'll ever hear, but it always looks tempting to me. Of course, rollerblading was tempting to me, too, and I'm still, a year later, not getting used to it. Like, is my feet still... Every time I put those things on, I'm still like, how does this work? But I think one of the hardest parts for me would be to stand there exposed. First of all, if I was wearing a wetsuit, God damn, what would my body look like in a wetsuit? I don't even want to think about it. And then worse, if I'm not wearing a wetsuit, then I'm just like...

00:58:22 - 00:58:33 | Speaker 2:

It would be like a giant Spanx. Bare-chested out there. You'd look like Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, I'm sure. By the way, how long do you think before I start wearing Spanx? It's the logical next thing.

00:58:33 - 00:58:34 | Speaker 1:

Wait, you're not wearing Spanx?

00:58:34 - 00:58:54 | Speaker 2:

It is the logical progression Based on what my body is doing As I move through middle age And what my vanity is always doing Like it's just a matter of time Before I'm strapping in Before I do these TV interviews Like I wish I had some Spanx right now If you don't mind

00:58:54 - 00:59:07 | Speaker 1:

I hope somebody isolates that If you don't mind Only because today is Wednesday And we won't be doing emails on Thursday and Friday I just have one quickie here that I really want to share with you, because I think you'll get a kick out of it.

00:59:07 - 01:00:23 | Speaker 2:

And then I know I actually have one more on the I'm OK. I mean, OK, can I throw one more in on the sea line just so we can kind of wrap this topic up? Listener Emily said two summers ago, I did a very un PNW thing while walking east to west across the Burnside Bridge. I made conversation with strangers. I walked past an odd scene, a bicyclist who was stopped on the south side of the bridge and was staring at the water below the bridges railing. and about 10 meters away was a group of three construction workers doing the same thing. It looked far from exciting down there, just about six birds or something flying close to the water, but my curiosity was piqued. I asked what was going on. They said a sea lion. They had spotted it a minute before. There was no sign of it then except they told me the birds. Apparently a congregation of different birds close to the water is a good sign of sea lion activity. The birds are scavenging the leftover bits of the sea lion's feastings. I didn't see the magical creature of legend. myself but if others are to be believed keep an eye out for a small circling cluster of birds flying just over the water it might be a harbinger of a sea lion so there you go that's the bridge I was on the Burnside Bridge when I most recently when I snapped that pick it was from that bridge so it gives you something to look out for that's fun I know I'm between Randy and this sea lion I'm making all kinds of friends in Portland

01:00:23 - 01:02:27 | Speaker 3:

congratulations on all of that and if you don't mind like I say Let me just throw this quickie in here, too, because I thought this was funny. This is my I'm also concerned that I might have already read this on the show. So stop me if you've heard this one. But we were talking on the show a while back now about what it's like to be a meteorologist in a community. Like everybody knows you and then everybody wants to talk about the weather with you and maybe even sometimes blame you for the weather or try to accuse you of ruining their day with a with a bad forecast. and um cory in cambridge mass sent this one back in the mid 90s when i lived in providence rhode island i was in line at store 24 that's like a 7-eleven we had store 24s um well of course i lived in new england but in concord new hampshire we had a store 24 that closed at 10 p.m and it drove me crazy because they're supposed to be open 24 hours then i was in massachusetts one time and i called the store 24 at like 11 to make sure they were still open and the the cocky kid on The other line was like, yeah, store 24. We're open 24 hours. I'm like, well, not in Concord anyway. Back in the mid-'90s, Corey in Cambridge, Massachusetts, was living in Providence, Rhode Island. He was at a store 24. He was in line behind R.J. Heim. R.J. was the weekend meteorologist at the local NBC affiliate and always tried to be a bit hipper and looser than the stayed weeknight guy. As he stood at the counter to pay for his Gatorade, The cashier said, I guess I should thank you for today's weather. RJ looked him squarely in the eyes and said, am I supposed to make a funny convenience store clerk joke now? Wow. It was pretty rude, but I have to admit, pretty amusing and made me realize he must hear the crap or he must hear crap like that every damn day, says Corey. Wow. Man, that is like you if you're just going around talking to everybody who watches you on TV like that, you must have a lot of confidence.

01:02:29 - 01:02:51 | Speaker 2:

Or they later found R.J. in a bell tower with the amount of munitions. Like that sounds like the part of the movie where the guy starts to have the breakdown. Yeah. Right. This character is played by Nicolas Cage. Sure. Yeah. You know, obviously the Michael Douglas falling down character comes to mind. But, yeah, that sounds like a person who has had enough shit and is not taking it anymore.

01:02:51 - 01:02:53 | Speaker 3:

Yes, absolutely.

01:02:53 - 01:03:43 | Speaker 2:

I sometimes say – I love it when people get – I'm not being sarcastic when I say this. My name lends itself to some Star Wars jokes. Luke, I'm your father. And I am totally fine with that because I like that it makes people feel like they're getting off a good joke, you know? Sure, yeah. It doesn't do me any harm. And so I laugh. But every once in a while, I will say, they'll say, Luke, I'm your father. And I will say, I've never heard that before. Like, not even because I'm mad, just maybe I'm just bored or something. But that probably sounds like I'm, if I've said that to you in the wild, I apologize if it sounded like I was being a real RJ Heim. I didn't mean it to be I just sometimes say it to mix it up It's not a sign that I'm actually annoyed Because I'm not annoyed I enjoy interacting with people And I enjoy those jokes

01:03:43 - 01:04:11 | Speaker 3:

I got that a lot when I was a kid named Andrew Walsh Going to a school called Walsh Jesuit Right And I remember, I was in 9th grade That was just a single year that I went there And I remember, I was just like How did you come up with that? That was pretty sarcastic So there you go Don't forget, as we wrap things up here, we are going to go out with a special song, In Little Ways, by Let's Active, courtesy of Paul Jorgensen, one of today's dazzling donors.

01:04:11 - 01:04:31 | Speaker 2:

Well, Paul, thanks again for the suggestion. And everyone out there in listener land, thanks for being part of the show. We are going to be right back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio 4. I'm sure I'll have a full report about how it went today. So hopefully you can join us for that. Until then, have a great Wednesday. Stay safe wherever you are. mask up. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

01:04:58 - 01:05:00 | Speaker 1:

When we look back

01:05:00 - 01:05:10 | Speaker 2:

We'll never see how lines got crossed Don't think they were, so wait for me

01:05:10 - 01:05:44 | Speaker 3:

I'm waiting for you I stand outside the room Missing is so new Is it warning? Could it be true? Well, I jump in and hope for every day I will not disappear in many ways Hey!

01:05:56 - 01:05:57 | Speaker 1:

Power out.

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