Muse

What's TBTL on your phone? What's your favourite show? TBTL. Can we please do TBTL?

Yep, we can do TBTL. TBTL. Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?

It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. You know, it's good, you know? I mean, sure, I'm depressed and I'm constantly sick and nothing really brings me joy, but it just feels right.

I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him, the things he'd say to me. What did he say? What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?

The story of this situation is, it's extremely personal. All I know is this violates every canon of respectable broadcasting.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

I just want to hug this show and never let it go.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, where, boy it is looking like another just absolute donny brook of a day the temperatures have been absolutely balmy the last couple of days i feel warm and i'm levitating looking forward to sliding down that old dinosaur on a beautiful warm friday in the 503 we got a beautiful warm episode um wow did not sound as um kind of i don't know exciting as i was hoping it would when I said beautiful, warm episode. I won't do that again. It is episode 3,393 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Speaking of the warm weather and the beginning of the baseball season, I sort of half lost my marbles yesterday. It's time for Operation Crazy Plan. I just decided that come heck or high water, I was going to absolutely hardcore lean into springtime And I did it, and I make no apologies. And I'll tell you what happened coming up in a moment. Also, Nike has actually been granted a temporary restraining order for these, I guess, fake Nike shoes that have allegedly some human blood in them and also have Bible verses on them and are supposed to be something about Satan worshipping. So people will be worshipping Satan the devil and not even know it. Lil Nas X is involved in all of this. It's kind of funny what Nike is proposing to do with these, there's 666 pair, is it pair or pairs? There's 666 sets of these shoes and all but one pair have been sold and Nike's got an idea for getting them back, which we'll talk about coming up in a moment. And also, I love octopuses or octopopodes. Forget what we are supposed to actually call them. But you know that movie, My Octopus Teacher, I was really into. Well, there's one octopus I would not like to encounter, and that is an octopus being described as the angriest octopus in Australia. She put an octopus on her face, and she says that turned out to be a big mistake. Which attacked a geologist. See what was going on with that. plus because it's a Friday we'll do some music for your weekend we'll do all of it with the help of this young man longest running Cobra of the show he may be best known for his descriptions of the tall ships he is getting this Friday started right with a little taco Friday I might have tacos when I go home I'm not quite sure yet like you know he loves to do actually I bet it's going to be taco chili at Mike's Chili Parlor not to tell you where he's going to be I don't want people stalking him harassing him showing up and giving him gifts He's got to live his life He's Andrew Walsh

And he joins me right now From the Roosevelt neighborhood Of Seattle, Washington Good morning my friend

People can give me gifs I

Did you say gifs or gifs

People can give me both

People can send me gifs

People can gif me gifs People can send me dot gifs I mean Could you ask for a better morning I mean Our baseball team is undefeated Our fantasy baseball team Is in third place in the league Not bad for a couple of rookies who don't even know how to play the game. I had a dinner of peanuts and whiskey and Coors Light last night. What else can you ask for on a Friday morning?

I don't want to turn this podcast into some kind of like Mariner fan fan.

cast but i wasn't being overly dramatic or at least i wasn't being hyperbolic when i said to you last night andrew when i texted you and i want to offer the you know caveat that like i've got i've been very lucky throughout this pandemic it's a very serious thing and a lot of really bad stuff has happened but when i texted you last night i don't know if i felt this happy during the pandemic i was not joking like and i'm sorry i i mean that's just the reality of my life is that the Mariners scoring six runs in the bottom of the eighth and then scoring an additional run in the 10th inning. Really, probably the emotion that I felt in that moment was about as happy as I felt for maybe 12 months, 13 months.

I mean, it was amazing. We won't go into baseball talk, but just for a little context for people just even who can casually follow the ups and downs of our night, you know, we were looking forward very much to spring training. Luke, I was getting – I watched probably about the first half hour of pregame, preseason ceremonial stuff coming from T-Mobile Park. And I was getting choked up like when an – she wasn't an epidemiologist but somebody who works in health care who's an advisor to the Mariners for their social distancing.

The nurse who, by the way, threw out the first pitch and did much better than I did when I threw out the first pitch. But that's not what this is about, not to center myself in the story. But her first pitch was actually pretty dope.

Oh, it is worth mentioning. Yes, it was a beautiful curveball over the plate. she was so cool i didn't know that she was the person who was going to be giving who was going to be throwing out the first pitch at first i just saw her kind of standing kind of in the wings with some other people and she was like kind of bounce she was wearing a mariners jersey and she was kind of you could just tell she was really pumped up i thought she was just going to walk out onto the field to you know receive some uh some applause from the crowd but she ends up throwing the first pitch she seemed so cool i got choked up when she threw out the first pitch so i was like really geared up right i mean this did i tell you this in a text message last night i feel like possibly that's between me and dr erikaki the reason i'm getting so choked up before and after the mariners game but i was like you know just baseball represents a lot you know an opening day the first real opening day in two years and um and then our team is down 6-1 and they just look terrible i mean they just look like little turds out there i mean for most of the game they just for a while it looked like they wouldn't get any hits at all that they would be you know they would offer up the other team a no hitter in their park on opening day I mean my mind was just like how could this be any worse but it's baseball and there's always a little bit of hope but I was tamping down that hope in a way that I'm now embarrassed about because I was like

don't let I camped it way down I watched an entire episode of Top Chef did you really you

went away and came back oh wow I was like I never I was like screw this this is terrible

Like I was very, very mad And it felt to me like, well, we're about to go And, by the way Chances are we still probably Will not make the playoffs But I was like, yeah, no, this is They are, in the words of Dennis Green One-time coach of the Arizona Cardinals football team They are who we thought they were Like, I was like, yeah, this is just This is just, you know, the usual thing And so I decided to check back in later And because baseball Takes forever

That game was like four and a half hours

Two innings had gone by or something, and there we were, still playing anyway, you were saying.

So anyway, yeah, so then we just have this miraculous inning that was just, and again, like, I don't, when I think about these games, I don't even think about, like, you know, what does this mean? Are we going to the playoffs after one game? But we just, in the famous words of, I can't think of his name, who do I always do an imitation of where I say, I could really use a win here. Oh, Paul Giamatti. Yes, it's my own fake quote and I couldn't remember who I attribute it to. But in the in the fake words of Paul Giamatti, I could really use a win here. And to see the team come back like that was, I mean, exactly what I needed. I can't remember. That's like a that's a last night is going to be a sports moment for me forever because I had text chains going. I went through them today. We had our main text chain with all of our Mariners loving friends on there and the stew bot. And then I had a side conversation going on just with you. Then I had a side conversation going on with just you and Camaro Kev. We're all in the main group. I don't know why.

Also, I believe you had a side conversation going on with just Camaro Kev.

Then I decided.

He was relaying to me from the from the whatever the name of that place was that he was at your conversations with him. So it was like just multiple weird feedback loops of text information.

I had, like, seven different text chains going on. Hannah in Portland, my buddy from Spotless, and Gretchen, who's an A's fan but is also rooting for the Mariners in Oakland. I just – I don't know. It felt like such a special night for such a – I mean, other than symbolically a pretty meaningless game. I mean, what can be more meaningless than the first of 162 games?

But, man, I just – I needed that last night in the famous words of Paul Giamatti.

I started my kind of like getting amped way earlier in the day than I expected. To be honest with you, the last couple of seasons for this baseball team, I've been kind of only minimally interested. And, you know, I had a whole kind of scene I would do in Bellingham. I had my little AM radio that I liked. I had my barbecue. I kind of would do my scene. Like I'd mow the lawn usually like the first day of baseball and I would grill up some veggie dogs and Rudy would be there was kind of a whole thing. And yesterday I the weather was really nice here in Portland and I all these different people that are in my life like on a text basis were saying different things about, oh, the first day of baseball Mariners, whatever. And I just at about one in the afternoon, in the midst of like 50 other things that I was supposed to be doing, I was seized with one mission, which is I have to get the world's smallest grill to put on the world's smallest balcony so that I can grill veggie dogs and drink Rainier beer and watch the Seattle Mariners baseball team tonight. That became the singular focus of my day. And I went to the world's best Ace Hardware on Broadway here in Portland. Love it. Love the people there. Got the grill in question, this tiny little Weber with this sort of stand that it goes on. Like it's very, you know, very, very minimal as far as grills go. I'm sure it's not going to win any. Well, also I've learned it's not barbecuing and grilling are different. I'm not going to win any grilling contest with this thing. But it is sufficient to apply heat to light life veggie dogs so that I could have my little scene. And let me tell you, last night it did not disappoint. I was just in hog heaven minus the hog.

I'm glad you brought that up because I have an important question. I've been thinking about you took a photo of you checking out this gear at the Ace Hardware and sent it to the group saying, you know, you're getting hyped here. But there was something else in the picture that you didn't mention, which was a wiffle ball and bat impulse buy. Yes. I was wisely what your deal was with that or what your plan was.

Just you know what, Andrew? Spring fever, buddy. Spring fever, plain and simple on the way to the tiny propane tanks that they sell for like the world's smallest grill for your tiny, tiny balcony. They just happen to have a bin full of wiffle ball bats with wiffle balls on them. And I was just kind of like, in for a penny, in for a pound. What are the chances of a wiffle ball game breaking out in my apartment?

By yourself.

Limited. But on the – I mean, what were the chances? Andrew, did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

I'm not great with history. I don't think so.

Giving you that – they need to stop playing that speech, by the way, at the Mariners games. Now that we've been giving them put-ups, let's give them a put-down. For a long time at, now whatever it's called, T-Mobile Park, when the Mariners were losing towards the end of the game, which is most of the time, they would play this motivational clip from Animal House, where John Belushi's character is giving a historically inaccurate motivational speech about the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor, etc.

I totally missed your joke there. Now that you say that, I remember the reference.

But it never, unfortunately, never seemed to lead to the Mariners coming back when I was there. It might be a jinx. Maybe they didn't use it yesterday. Anyway, point is there was almost no chance of me needing to have wiffle ball equipment in my apartment on the high floor of this apartment building. But that was the mood that I was in yesterday. And also there was almost no chance that the Mariners were going to come back and win and then give up a home run in the ninth inning to let the other team tie the game and then figure out how to get it together and win the game. And they won it in, you know, the least, I mean, the most ignominious way you can. Basically, they ran up against a pitcher who could not find the strike zone.

Yeah, well, that was famously Jane Fraley, a firmer Modesto nut who I believe took the walk.

And they kept saying, like, how did you hold off those pitches? And I was thinking, well, because literally if he threw the bat, he couldn't have hit them. But, hey, not taking anything away from Jane Frawley, firmer Modesto nut, which was what I was somewhat drunkenly. And also, thanks, spellcheck. You know what the thing that spellcheck has been really, really double-crossing me on lately is instead of F-O-R, which I type that all the time. Like, that is a connective word that I use a lot. It always wants to make it F-I-R, like the fir tree.

Yeah, you're going to be using F-I-R much less than F-O-R.

You'd think, right? Like for a while, it was doing that with I would try to type put like, hey, if you could just put the key. Over to the side of the thing And it would make it pit

Pit and fur

Couple of words Don't come up a lot for me Never telling anyone You know Throw them in the pit Near the fur tree It's just rare That those are words I'm trying to use But yes I did send you guys A very jumbled text Last night In my pure delirium

I keep on getting text messages From you during the show That say For God's sakes Walsh And I was always wondering Like why is he obsessed No that's actually

I mean that

Oh okay

That's actually intentional So it was just a beautiful, beautiful day yesterday. And, you know, I understand that sports are kind of sort of meaningless in a way. I mean, it's grown people running around chasing balls or whatever it might be. But, boy, it just absolutely put the wind in my sails last night. Like, just lying there on the couch in my jeans. So, okay, this is not really what we're here to talk about. But I've got issues with a couple of different pairs of jeans that I bought when I got here to Portland. One pair, the pair that I like, the dye on the jeans is staining the couch that I got. It's kind of a beige couch. And I think I talked about this on the show before.

I did not think that's where this was going.

And I've washed these jeans in cold water multiple times. I cannot get the dye out of them. They're from J.Crew. So what I did was I flipped the couch cushions over. I got one flip of these couch cushions. That was it because they had turned kind of blue from the jeans. So now my thing is I can never, when I'm wearing those jeans, I can never sit on the couch because the couch is cream or beige and I don't want to ruin the, now the only pristine side of the cushion. So I either have to sit on a towel or sit in a rocking chair staring at the couch. That's not a great system. So yesterday I, once again, threw those jeans, the inky jeans, threw those into the wash And grabbed another pair and put them on And was thinking oh these are actually pretty good I can't remember why I'm not wearing these jeans Why Andrew because they have A strange odor to them That has to do I think with how they are dyed They do not bleed Onto the couch but they just Smell weird even though I've washed them like three

Times that is really weird I was going to say for both of these can you just like let Them live in your washing machine for like Every single cycle you do they're just Getting another toss until they've been washed like

20 times each yes but i fear they will shrink to the point i mean i'm already really kind of on the edge with fitting into my clothes and i worry that like subjecting them to and also not supposed to do that with jeans but i i was lying on the couch last night as a weird fragrance was wafting over me and i was like oh that's why i don't wear these jeans but despite all of that i was still just as as happy as i've been in a long time because of these silly baseball things it just

made me so happy and also like i it's only during sporting events like this that i can be essentially alone in a room i mean genevieve watched some of the game with me but i watched a lot of it myself especially this this really thrilling part yet i felt so surrounded by friends like people from all over the country you know and it wasn't even like a browns thing or something it was just opening day for the silly mariners but it really felt like when all was said and done last night i felt like i was done with a party and that's a good feeling whether it's sports that bring you that or some other live televised event like if you're into you know a live a competition show a cooking show whatever it is that i'm not into that stuff i love the the enjoying something that is happening in real time with you know friends from around the country there's something special

about that yeah it was a really it was a really fun night and something i kind of needed in my life so um go mariners uh i assume it's all downhill from here but boy wasn't that a wasn't that a fun thursday night um how did our and you said our fantasy team did all right too apparently

yeah although i don't know if we have to make any moves for today but we can figure that out after the show but i would like to just close out by saying luke someone once said you don't grip a baseball a baseball grips you which was one of the things that was the opening quote of some sort of inspirational speech that was played over the loudspeaker in the again warm-up ceremonies before the uh before the big game yesterday would you say that a baseball grips you for a day or for a lifetime i almost tweeted you that i was like you're really gonna start your speech whatever the speech is whether it's a wedding toast or the opening day inspirational webster's defines a baseball gripping you as you're gonna start it with and you don't i don't even totally dislike that quote it's fine but can you find one that is attributable to somebody like literally the first words were someone once said we don't know who it was might have been my uncle he had a drinking problem lost his job driving the bus but i think he said this one time yeah it reminds me of

a crazy long-haired guy with

Thank you.

a lot of out there ideas as i said on the simpsons who's rick my mom's ex-boyfriend oh can we just quickly before we go to the break can we delve into two quick advertorial conversations again keep it cool if veeves is there one there was an ad that aired during the game yesterday that is a blatant far side ripoff the far side comic that i reference all the time on this show of the guy that's stranded on the on the deserted island and the helicopter or whatever it is flying over and he has written help but part of the pee has has been washed away or whatever and they said oh no no he's just saying health yeah there was an ad that completely ripped off that concept and it's a guy's on a deserted island it's for these things called greenies which dog owners in the audience are probably well familiar with um they're like a treat for dogs allegedly they kind of brush the dog's teeth which i think causes us dog owners to feel more okay with them having these even though they're just basically a treat be like if somebody sold donuts that apparently washed our teeth and we're just eating them like oh you know well this is they don't i'm cleaning my teeth with these donuts it was the ad is for greenies and the dog has run off and fetched a big you know stick that was completing the guy's help message in the sand and the rescue plane is not picking him up because they misunderstand the nature of his message because the dog has stolen part of it.

Really? No, it doesn't say health, right?

It doesn't say health, but it says something very close to it. It says like, I mean, it's some other.

It doesn't matter, yeah.

But it's, I mean, it's not to the point where it's actually health, but it's conceptually exactly that Farside comic, which I was kind of like, you know, I don't know, I mean, Gary Larson, I think like lives in Tacoma. Maybe he saw that. Is he mad?

Is he suing?

The other commercial that I – it played during the game yesterday, and it's been playing like crazy, Andrew, and I just think it's really one of the worst, most unsettling commercials I've seen in a long time. And I think it's for an insurance company, and I don't remember which one it is, but it's a guy who's driving, and he's – it's the – whatever that song is, you've got the brains, I've got the something, let's make lots of money.

I got the looks, let's make lots of money, yeah.

First of all, just conceptually terrible song to me. Just a dumb song that shouldn't exist. Like somebody was like, hey, you know what song I should write? It's called You've Got the Looks, I've Got the Brains, Let's Make Lots of Money.

It was very 80s. I mean, not just it is an 80s song, but it also encapsulates the 80s in a way.

Yeah, but to me, like there are songs from like Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Banger, Ain't Missing You, John Waite, Banger. You know, I can think of lots of big country by big country off the album Big Country. I'm the Scat Man Skiddly bop bop boop Do do do do do yo yo yo By Scat Man Those are all good songs from the 80's I think I've never liked that song Anyway the commercial is a guy is driving And he's singing that song And then his like hood ornament Is singing the song And they're just singing it together And I don't understand Like a huge ad agency With a bunch of highly paid Presumably smart people creative people Were all in a room and this is what they came up With to sell the commercial You know the commercial I'm talking I mean to sell the insurance

I think you know I Tend to I was like standing during a lot of the

Game I did notice that I was Texting you a couple times and you were like oh I was in the other Room which you were living up to The hype about the fact that you go in and out Of the room a lot especially with sports

Yeah when Genevieve I was sitting on the couch When Genevieve was watching the game with me and then And I don't even do this on purpose I just find myself suddenly I'm like I don't know when this happened but I am now standing and pacing and I was like standing and pacing so then during commercials I'll often go grab another beer use the restroom there's a whole cycle there you might be able to figure out so I didn't see those but I am in a bit of a pickle here Luke because I don't I highly doubt any of these fellas actually listen to TBTL but there are some local commercials now that I have opinions on and some which are part of campaigns that i know i have kind of dissected on the after these messages podcast that i now feel i need to be a little bit more conscientious of the words i choose because our fantasy baseball league commissioner uh has uh and other members of that league are people that work in advertising literally have these commercials on their website as part of their like kind of um as part of their their bio or whatever you know their their get to know me website which is i think what they call it so i need to you know now because you work in this world where sometimes you are you know filming commercials or what have you and now i recently started as a hood ornament in an insurance commercial and now you're bringing that world a little bit closer to me but i'm supposed to maintain my objectivity where i can just um Thank you.

Where I can just talk about commercials without worrying about hurting anybody's feelings.

You have to speak your truth even if your voice shakes, Andrew.

But I just – Someone once said –

Next time like you see this commercial, do me a kindness and just kind of like try to stay in the room long enough to watch it and let me know what you think. Now maybe I've made it out to be worse than it is. It's just one of those commercials where you just think, like, this is what $200,000 and 30 people who are, you know, this is what they do. This is what you got from it. Like, you came up with Guy is singing in the car. Hood Ornament is singing. Hood Ornament is, we overuse this term, but way over the uncanny valley. Like, you know, the Hood Ornament appears, I guess, to be sort of a female character. Side note, it's not a hood ornament that would ever even be on the car that the guy's driving. Like, hood ornaments are kind of a relic from the past. He's driving like a kind of compact, you know, 2000s kind of car, but it has the world's most elaborate hood ornament. Like, there's that aftermarket. Just the whole thing is so bad.

Do kids know what hood ornaments are?

Do you even hood ornament, bro?

Yeah.

So, anyway, I just wanted to poison your mind for the next time you see that commercial. so that you can join me in kind of not liking it. That's all.

Do you want to give away hood ornaments for the TBTL-a-thon?

Where are we at on the sort of supply chain on the current gifts that we're doing? Yeah, that's a really good question.

Is it too late? That's a really good question. I do think a hood ornament on my VW Golf would be quite the look, though. I feel like there's a shape of car that can lend itself to a hood ornament more than others, and I don't think hatchbacks are the shape I'm thinking of.

I have an extremely vivid memory from being a kid. I'm talking a little kid, maybe like five, six years old. I was waiting for my parents somewhere. I was in the car, and the car was parked near another car that had a hood ornament. And I can't remember what – I think it – I can't remember what the hood ornament was, but it was very intriguing to me. It was kind of silver and very shiny. and i got out of the car and walked over to it and went up to just touch it yeah yeah yeah and somebody screamed at me from where i still don't know to this day god don't you dare touch that and it absolutely like shocked and scared me to my core and to this day i mean my god i don't think the guy was sitting in the car because i think even my like youngish brain would have like looked in the most logical place like i knew that i wasn't supposed to touch this thing but i kind of wanted to and i must have done some sort of little scan of like there's nobody around i can do this but there was somebody around and they yelled at me and i never even actually made

contact with the thing but that's a really good story i love to think that that might have been somebody yelling at somebody else you just heard it and the timing was just or they might have even

just been funny me i don't know but i was just so young and easily scared by hollering that i ran back to the car as quickly as possible another thing i did once while waiting for my parents was we were at the co-op up in like shoreline my mom was in the co-op shopping and i put the car in neutral my parents like old ass 1960s whatever it was like it's a classic car but back then it was just an old crappy car like but enough time now has gone by that it would be a classic i put it into i guess neutral and the car rolled out into like the street oh my god yeah how did it stop like gravity and momentum and thankfully no other cars coming like it wasn't a super busy street it was adjacent to a very busy street but the actual street the co-op was on was a little bit quieter but yeah i mean i was just pretty unsupervised as a child doing these various things i remember i

mean i never did anything like that because i remember my parents well my parents put the fear of God in me in a lot of ways but I remember my parents did nothing but try to put the fear of God in me literally and it did not work I'm a basket case to this day because of it but I remember that on the occasions when I was old enough to be left in the car like that um and I do wonder how young that was I don't think my parents ever did anything wrong by leaving me and my sister either together or alone in the car um but I do wonder if in today's day and age If you were to see a kid my age alone in the backseat of a car with nobody in it, if that would be acceptable. I really don't know what I don't know what the rules for leaving kids in cars were then. And I certainly don't know what they are now.

But anyway, I would guess much it's it's much more frowned upon now than it was when we were kids. I felt like my whole life as a kid was sitting in the car either with my siblings or myself waiting for my parents to get back.

Yeah. Playing with your toys on the back shelf in the back window. I remember my parents would give me a pack of cigarettes and say, here, smoke these until we get back. No, um. But I didn't mind it. But I do remember my parents leaving the car and saying, like, don't touch anything. And they said it in this way that you were just, like, scared to, like, I didn't even want to look at the stick shift or whatever was in that car. Like, I just thought that, like, if I touch the if I open the glove box, everything is going to explode. Like, I didn't know how these things worked. And they were at any moment ready to roll out into the street.

Did not get that pep talk from Susie B. This was one of those gear shifts that was in the kind of like the steering wheel, you know, like on the column kind of a thing. And I remember just I wanted to pretend to drive is what. Yeah. So I was like doing the steering wheel and then like, you know, doing all the things I saw adults do, including let me move that that whatever thing. And that was when things, you know, took a turn for the possibly deadly.

I kind of miss that. You know, one of my cars.

Is that three in the tree or is that a specific kind of like automobile where it's called three in the tree?

I think three in the tree is that style, but I think that's for a manual transmission. So you'd have a clutch and you're actually – you have three speeds.

And you're shifting on the steering column? That seems hard. I think.

I mean car nerds get back at me, but I'm pretty sure that that's a manual transmission, three on the tree, three speeds, but it's up there on the column. But then I think cars that were – I'm sure your parents' car was an automatic, as was, like, my parents' Oldsmobile. And then years later, I, as an adult or as a young adult, I drove a 1983 Oldsmobile Cutlass. And that had, you know, manual – I'm sorry, automatic transmission, but up there on the column. And, man, what a feel. I mean, the whole thing, the steering wheel was, like, smooth as glass. And I'm sure it could just, like, rip through my head if I got into any kind of an accident. But, man, it was a nice, smooth driving experience.

Yeah, my memory – I know that cars have gotten better. I mean I understand that kind of intellectually. But I will – I don't know if I'll ever ride in more comfort than I did in the Mummy's parents – I believe it was called the Country Squire station wagon.

Oh, classic.

I could be slightly off as to what – but, I mean, this thing was roughly the size of the USS Nimitz and just felt like you rode on a cushion of air. And, again, I don't know what the fuel implications were. I don't know what the fatality implications were if you were to crash into somebody while driving this behemoth. But to ride in it on I-5 in the way back, sitting there hanging out with my friend Seth Brolight, that was about as comfortable as I've ever been in an automobile to this day.

Yeah. I mean, I think about my 83 Olds, which I got rid of probably in the early 2000s. But I definitely I drove it in Ohio a little bit because me and my dad towed it from Ohio to New Hampshire. And that was my first car in New Hampshire as well. And so when Genevieve and I were first dating, I would like drive that boat back and forth between Boston and New Hampshire a lot. And then on weekends, like if Genevieve was staying up with me in New Hampshire, we would, you know, again, we were kids kind of figuring out how to be adults. I felt so adult at the time. But, you know, I'm in my early 20s, my first real job, my first real girlfriend. And we'd be like, OK, should we take the kitten for a ride again? And so we'd take Theo and we'd put him in the bench seat between us and just drive around New Hampshire and listen to public radio. Yes.

I love that through line in your life The same cat that regularly interrupts our broadcast Now was just a little kitten Riding around in that car with you Did it have the kind of radio Did you have like an aftermarket radio Did it have the kind of radio with the like Things you push in to get to where your presets were

That kind And to set it you would have to pull it out And then you push it all the way in It was very satisfying I love buttons

I feel like if we could get everybody to go back to that technology In their cars we could have a successful radio show again because i feel like most most of having a successful radio show in those days was just being on a preset that somebody didn't know how to change

yeah because it was an actual dial you'd have to like kind of dial it in until you got it what you wanted then you would set that um and yeah what were there five presets maybe i mean i drove

cars for years just based and would just listen to whatever the presets were because i don't think i even knew what you're talking about i don't think i knew you could pull it out and punch it back in i was just like well i guess we're listening to um you know kcis for the next you know contemporary christian talk for the next uh you know whatever time we're gonna have this car so all right well that was a fun trip down memory lane uh what's older or what what happened you know more in the rearview mirror of our lives uh we were driving cars with preset you know those Kind of weird radio things Or the Mariners going to the playoffs These are Equally In the distant past but maybe The Mariners will change that this year

I've never seen them Since I've been a Mariners fan they've never Gone into the

They were playing—I'm sorry, listeners, please will you grant me and Andrew this. And some of the listeners, I think, do like a Mariner talk, but they were playing a—like before the game last night, they were playing a kind of a rebroadcast of a game from 2001, which was the Mariners against the Texas Rangers. And I believe that was the season that the Mariners won like 116 games, which I think was like tied for the record with, I want to say, a Chicago team. I think it might have been I don't know if it was White Sox or the Cubs but the thing is that team that the Mariners tied with had fewer games overall in the season like they had fewer chances to win so they're like 116 games is I think more impressive because it wasn't 162 game season but anyway they were showing Jamie Moyer on the mound pitching and the Mariners having this great season and I was like I don't even like I don't even remember that happening it's so so long ago right I was looking at like I know this happened I know I must have watched it When it was happening but I can't place this in my Memory because it's that distant so

And I'm trying to that was the last one I'm looking at that was the I think that was The last playoff appearance I think

So which is why we're now you know going on 20 Years of the Mariners not making the playoffs It will be very fun if they Somehow scrappily If they scrappy do their way into Contention I think it'll be a fun Story just because they are you know They're sort of historically bad right now so Anyway okay thank you for indulging Us everyone we will try to keep the Mariner talk to a dull roar, unless they keep winning, in which case I may want to talk about it all show long, and there's nobody who can stop me. In the meantime, let's take a quick break, and then when we come back, we will do these top stories, none of which are Mariner-related, so stay with us. This is TBTL.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle

dattle. Everybody Let's thank some dazzling donors, wonderful generous folks, making the show possible with their dazzling donations today we want to start with a nicole giuliani who says sadly still pronounced like the architect of the four seasons total landscaping affair it was a total landscaping affair god it was landscaping affairs do not get more total than that one now that we're sort of clear of that for the time being i don't want to I don't want to besmirch Nicole's dazzling donor message, although on the other hand, Nicole kind of did invite this conversation. Now that, you know, we've got what I would consider to be relatively sane people in the White House, we can kind of take a moment and reflect on just how amazingly hilarious that was. I mean, that was the nadir point, right, just about of the whatever tiny shred of kind of decorum and dignity and believability that that whole Mishigas had going for it.

And that was that was after Giuliani's face started melting on TV.

Dude, that happened to me the other day, not in public. I was putting in my little hair powder and I must have put, I don't know, too much or not enough or something. And I saw just like a little bit start to go down, and I immediately thought of Giuliani.

Well, he's got a legacy. God, I mean, I don't want to get it, but think about what his legacy was, like, after 9-11.

America's mayor. I mean, he was set.

Amazing. And also, though, when you did mention Four Seasons there, and I laughed, it's just like, I also, and I'm sorry, Nicole, we'll get to your message in a second. But Luke and I need a chance to talk about our feelings for a second, too.

How do you think Rudy Giuliani feels about the Mariners' comeback win?

I just think that I'm so, so glad that we can laugh about it because not a lot has to change to make that incredibly not funny in 2021.

And if people want to be sort of, I don't know, kind of less fun about it. I mean, there's obviously, like, laughing at all about any element of an administration is a little bit of sort of whistling past various graveyards.

Yes, yes.

But there was, I mean, you know, in the words of Paul Rubens, who, by the way, appears to be on Cameo. So if anybody out there wants to get, and he seems to do a good job. He doesn't do peewee, though, right? He does. Well, okay. Well, in the words of Paul Rubens, it feels good to laugh.

Yes.

Playing, you know, that whatever character on 30 Rock I saw on TikTok Somebody was Nicole, I promise you We're going to get to it

Come on, Nicole Get off our backs

Have you ever watched a baseball game? It's four and a half hours, Nicole This might take the same amount of time I can't promise you Somebody on TikTok had gotten their I think like sister A cameo from Paul Rubens And they were filming their sister's reaction

because his sister was extremely, like, emotional. I mean, overwhelmed. Obviously, she had loved Pee-wee, loved Paul Rubens. Paul Rubens was not in the character of Pee-wee. He wasn't wearing a bow tie and all of that. But he was also, I think, giving it more than some of these people that are on Cameo. So he was doing a funny thing. It was lit well. He was being funny, if that makes any sense. He was saying the name of the person who the Cameo had been, you know, who was the point of the Cameo. And I thought – what it felt like was Paul Rubens took at least three minutes of his life to consider the existence of this person that he was talking to. And I thought to myself, if I ever do Cameo, which I don't think there's a real market for that, I want to try to channel Paul Rubens and just kind of like whatever it was he was doing, it felt like it was working.

what is the um what is the new audio based social message uh social uh media clubhouse clubhouse so we were talking that uh some listeners created a a clubhouse it was listener steve i believe who was giving people invites to clubhouse and then created a tbtl 10 forum and i believe tonight you can find details for this on slack but which is a different platform that you might not be on but um i believe they're having a meetup tonight on clubhouse a tbtl tens meetup and i was legit jealous luke and i wonder like if i had an iphone and i could join maybe maybe but i legitimately cannot join because i don't have an iphone and i was jealous i was like that would be so much fun just to like kind of hang and for you know on clubhouse i think i just like new social media platforms but it seemed like it would be a fun casual way just to pop in say hello to some tens and i can't do it because i have an android uh there's a new yorker piece about

clubhouse that i have been saving all week yeah i've been waiting all week for friday night because i'll tell you what andrew when it gets crazy here at the nest broadcasting it gets crazy we read that new yorker piece we've been looking forward to and it's about with a ball bat in hand sometimes we may you know what i thought the other day too nicole we're getting to it the other day just please i was thinking simmer down stew i was thinking what i really want to get is a it's like a can of like racket balls like those blue rubbery racket balls because i live by myself in this like basically like concrete hardwood floor kind of lofty it's not like a grand loft but it you know has loft-esque qualities this apartment it's like the perfect place for just throwing like one of those blue racquetball kind of bouncy balls and there's nobody here to tell me not to do it yes thing like this is let's be honest probably a relatively short window in my life where i will have absolute free reign of a place like this where i can just throw racquetball balls off of anything i want and no one's going to get mad at me or get bouncy balls you get super bouncy balls

from like the one of those machines and those are fun too in fact you know what those might

actually be more fun but i think there must have been a thing in the 80s and i for my memory of it is is like it's tom hanks it's probably not could have been gutenberg and three men and a little lady i don't know there was just something about this idea of like a guy who was kind of cool and didn't take himself too seriously had that blue racquetball ball and he was bouncing it on things like that was a kind of an archetype for me as a kid and i you know i aim to reenact

that here yeah high in the sky above portland oregon for me i remember being really impressed with Chevy Chase's work steez in the movie Fletch, right? He's an investigative reporter in his desk. I get the impression that I was way more into the Fletch-averse than you were.

I just, yeah, I wasn't really that into Fletch. I just didn't come kind of into my radar, but I think I'm more of the outlier, but most guys our age, Fletch, you know, Dr. Rosenpenis and all that, like, it was a whole thing.

I loved it. In fact, you know, those are based on kind of pulp fiction-y kind of books, and I just started reading a bunch of the books, too. Like, the books aren't as slapsticky at all. Like, that's what Chevy Chase brought to it. But the movies also have, you know, it's like that kind of Beverly Hills Cop 1 vibe where, yeah, there are funny parts and it stars a comedian. It's a vehicle for a comedian, but it also has just kind of a serious driving crime plot, you know, the first movie of Fletch's like that.

Yeah, Victor Maitland, sure.

so um the point is um his desk at work where he was like a really good investigative reporter but he played by his own rules and he his boss found him just incorrigible and frustrating and he had a um you know a nerf basketball hoop set up there and that's what i always felt like i want to be the adult who in his office has like a basketball hoop and like the thing that the the movies never answer the question how do you get the basketball I don't know. Back if you're being a cool guy and you're sitting In your desk chair and you're making The 360 spins And slam dunk pointers from across the room The unfun part is having To get up and get that ball back out of it

Sure it's a last mile problem It's all fun to be it's all fun in games To be Fletch just Shooting like at the exact right moment Shooting a Nerf basketball at a hoop And swishing it but it's like Who goes and gets the ball and brings it back

To Fletch maybe Gina Davis But I'm not sure

Well, anyway, as we were saying to the listener who is named, I've now received seven emails since I started reading Nicole's message. As we were saying about listener Nicole, who is one of our dazzling donors today, she's amazing. She's in Eugene, Oregon. And she says, I simply want to say thank you. Thank you to Luke and Andrew for providing me with hours of Fletch-related content that helps me escape my week. thank you also to jen and sean for helping build this wonderful weird world of tbtl and thank you to the tens for the community especially during this year of isolation i am grateful to be able to continue to support this show which has been a steady friend throughout the many bumps of the last 12 years and i hope more to come but maybe with fewer bumps please i'd vote for that nicole I'd vote for fewer bumps for all of us Nicole, thank you so much for your Support for the show Thanks for being a friend of TVTL All these years, we really appreciate it We would not be able to do this without you I'll wait

Do you want me to fade it all the way out So that you can see Maestro and I restart We found ourselves in a weird

We found ourselves in a weird place where I wanted to yell Maestro because that's kind of my thing But the music was playing so I didn't need you to restart it. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

Everybody rattles down. We also have to thank Sherry Peterson of Murray, Utah. Sherry's got some random thoughts for us. Sherry says, random thought number one, 12 years of parochial school in Philadelphia. Oh, huh. I could have gone to school with the legendary Susie Kelly Burbank, except I went to Hallahan. She'll know what all this means. P.S. Happy to know I'm not the oldest listener that you have. I bet you anything that Sherry has the exact same handwriting as my mother, Susan Kelly. Oh,

parochial school.

Philadelphia, Catholic school, those nuns were not messing around with the penmanship. And if you look at my Aunt Mary Lou's handwriting, my Aunt Kathy's handwriting, My mom's handwriting Anybody who came out of parochial school in Philadelphia In that era Their handwriting is exactly the same

Oh, that sounds like such a perfect Kind of clue In a Columbo episode Doesn't it? Where there's just one thing that doesn't make sense And it turns out several people Have the same exact handwriting

I noticed that you make the eye This is a terrible Peter Falken, I apologize

That was interesting though again i always have to be careful here i love that you go for it i never go for it i'm a scaredy cat so don't let me be the wind upon your wings i need to just i need to just that was something it was really pretty interesting

anyway sherry continues with her random thoughts luke and andrew are probably the best friends i most likely will never meet i like this got a real larry king news and notes kind of yeah kind of vibe to it random thought number three shout out to my co-workers at the postal services remote encoding center where i type info from mail pieces that can't be read by a machine and make them so they can be wow sherry honestly thanks for doing this not to take it back to the realm of politics but i mean we should all we should all be appreciative of the fine folks who've been working for the usps for all these years but the last you know year of our life together they became even more vital and we were more aware of just how kind of like important they are in our society and the idea of listener sherry re-encoding things so they can get to their

destination that's huge thank you sherry yeah she said i'm just going to read this because it's a dazzling donor message. I want to make sure that we don't leave anything out. So she says, thank you, TBTail. You made working a tedious job at the Postal Service less tedious.

So apparently it wasn't the most... Tedious, but important. Exactly. Right. Also, Sherry says, shout out to my sweet Adeline chorus, Mountain Jubilee, whose members have kept me sane and singing during virtual rehearsals. Women, if you want a fun and joyous hobby, visit the sweet...

adeline international website and find a chorus near you you won't regret it oh cool that must

have been hard to do remotely because yeah you wonder about the timing issues delay yeah my dad

was in a barbershop quartet really yeah and we went i remember they did a it was like a barbershop quartet i don't know if it was a competition or just kind of a jubilee or a jamboree but it was at the exposition center uh down at the seattle center and i remember watching my dad Do barbershop quartet

I didn't know he had pipes And you gotta really have pipes To do acapella like that Walt can sing Walt can carry a tune Wow We are gonna be doing a Because I feel like This is a really perfect place To plug another podcast We're gonna be doing And after these messages Show all about Barbershops in commercials This coming Tuesday Would you let Walt know He has an open invite To join us Sure but I mean

You're talking about Barbershops Not barbershop quartets But I mean He might have a thought

I feel like there will be Some crossover Because you think of Barbershops and there's like it is something very interesting that like you could barbershops conjure two very different stereotypes right the kind of like 1950s very kind of white picket fence barbershop quartet vibe and then like the african-american kind of black barbershop i like to say african-american and black just in case you didn't know cover your bases by that right but you know like the black barbershop cultural experience you know very different but also like you can say barbershop to anybody and they they will conjure potentially a very different thing are you going to include

that commercial that was in heavy rotation last night for like Modelo for the guy who I think he's like some kind of barber to the you know the famous Jesus and he's telling the story of living in his car and just dedicating himself to his dream of cutting hair

it is on the list indeed also I believe there's a Mahomes commercial where Mahomes' friends have to get his hair cut

Jackson Mahomes gets a gratuitous cameo thirst much Jackson

And also, I don't get it because Mahomes' hair is so cute I don't understand why everybody feels like they're dodging a bullet By not getting a haircut like Patrick Mahomes I don't understand the premise

I don't either You know who does understand, but she won't tell us Sherry Peterson, whose dazzling donor message is not yet complete Sherry says, speaking of Zoom rehearsals I loved seeing the guys and being seen by you at the last TBTL-a-thon That was fun, Sherry We've been putting plans together for the next TBTL-a-thon And we've been kind of reflecting and reminiscing on like how much fun that was, even at the beginning of a pandemic and even even during a particularly painful week for this country with what was going on around the Black Lives Matter movement. It was still this like maybe even more intense kind of feeling of closeness with the listeners as we were kind of virtually hanging out with people. Sherry says, finally, I made you a drop. Feel free to use it or not as you wish. Andrew, have you previewed this piece of audio from listeners Sherry in Murray, Utah?

I have not previewed it, but I have brought it into my editing software. I have blindly tweaked the levels a little bit. Let's take a listen to this. Hold on.

Please be considerate of others. Do not put your feet on the seat.

I was going to play a drum roll before. I'll try it.

Please be considerate of others.

do not put your feet on the seat i like it do i like the randomness of it or do i not know what

it's a reference to i'm wincing because i am a big seat i'm a big feet seat putter runner like i tend to put my feet up a lot which is a bad habit first of all if i'm in a room and there's any way to achieve you know as sitting the great leveler if there's any chance for me to sit i will um and then i will also at some point put my feet up on something on something

else yeah you don't do that thing i'm always envious because i literally i can barely bend over to pick up my dirty clothes at this point that's how creaky my body is and then i will see people my age who are just like sitting on a chair but they're not wearing shoes and they'll just like curl their legs up under them and they're like kind of sitting like a cat and i'm

just like how does your body move that way no that's not me i'm not into that yoga shit but i do want to put my feet up for some reason i don't know if just like you know try to uh get sort of like optimal blood flow but anyway i feel like a little bit personally called out by sherry's drop because i could like i could see a world in which somebody would be playing that drop to remind me to please not put my feet on the seat hey luke please be considerate of

others do not put your feet on the seat i one of my worst things being considerate of others

this makes no sense but when i heard that the first time moments ago um for some reason i imagined an airplane situation like don't put your feet on the seat in front of you but i guess that doesn't really make a lot

lot of sensors not a lot of room to put your feet on the seat in front of you i do sometimes do that by the way like if i'm like you lean way back but your feet no if i am in the first row of coach which i consider the first class of coach yes yes there is like that it's just a curtain between me and the people in first class and i will put my foot sometimes like basically the right armrest of the person is in the back of first class which i consider the coach of first class that person i can i will put my foot i try not to get i don't want to get anywhere near their arm that would be so rude but i do kind of prop my foot a little bit on the back of the armrest of

the person in first class oh i don't like that but let me ask you some details on this um maybe give you an out here um are you resting your heel on the on the armrest or is it the sole of your

foot is just sort of propped up there a little bit it's kind of the basically the like when you say the ball of your foot do you mean the area right below your toes is that the ball i said

i said soul but um yeah i think the ball of the foot is yeah that that part right i would it would

be that because i i i'm not comfortable like i would not be the heel that's full-on lounging

that's exactly why sherry created the audio drop please be considerate of others do not put your

feet on the seat well sherry we thank you for being considerate of of us by uh donating to the show and making this thing possible so thank you very much thanks to all of our uh donors be they dazzling daily donors the like uh people who support the show we absolutely wouldn't be here without you so thank you very much but also i'm not officially agreeing to not put my feet on the back of the seat of the people in first class because they're it's got a pretty good up there That's all I'm saying. Hello and welcome to Top Story. This story is kind of interesting to me, this like the kind of Satan shoes. Part of – I missed kind of the first wave of it. I think it was when I was in Los Angeles earlier this week and I was just kind of not monitoring the news in my normal fashion. But basically, this art collective mischief, Andrew, remember, they're the people who, I think, bought that, like, Boston Dynamics robot, and we're going to let people, like, control it and have it go around and, like, whack people or whatever it was going to do?

People could control it remotely from around the world using their computers, right, yes.

Yeah, this is the same outfit. They went and got 666 pair of, they say they're knockoffs, but they're basically like, they look like Nike Air Max 97s. And they injected, you know, those are the kind of shoes that have that little bubble in the sole, the air, as it were, which I was convinced as a kid was going to help me dunk. like i was obsessed with trying to get whatever shoe by nike had the biggest bubble because that seemed you know to bring me closer to the rim sure but they uh they they injected them with some red substance which they're claiming is the blood of some of their employees it's a very small amount i think but anyway and then lil nas x kind of was part of the rollout of this because he's got this song out there montero call me by your name which i if i understand it right is kind of his um his way of really telling the world that he's gay and his real name is montero but which is a pretty dope name yeah it is gotta tell you everything i learn about him i just like him more i know more and more me too by the way thanks to listener melly who sent me like like a just a whole breakdown of every part of this story of like what's going on with montero call me by your name what's going on with the shoes what's going on with the backlash um what i thought was kind of funny about it is that so nike sued this company to stop them from distributing the shoes they sold 665 pairs of these shoes this is according to this article in cnn they sold them

out in one second andrew how is that even possible they must have just done all the pre-publicity and then said it's going to go on sale at a specific time and then everybody just jumped somebody

Must i mean everybody must have just had Whatever that bot is that that kid whose mom Worked at nike right yeah Whatever computer program Um that those people Had apparently or that guy has everyone Else has because all of The pairs of shoes sold out except for one Pair which apparently little nas x has that Makes sense in like one in it says In this article one second which is like a Crazy crazy short amount of time But um The thing that nike said was like So the mischief people and their lawyers said, look, the shoes are already out there in the world. What are you going to do?

to do and the nike legal team said we would like to repossess the shoes so they're going to try to get 665 people these are like a thousand dollar a pair by the way they can try to get 665 people to send back their satan shoes yeah because of a what strongly worded letter from the nike attorneys like there's no way that's going to happen as paul giamatti once famously said

from my cold dead hands you shall pry these shoes i i mean what's i i mean i understand i get what's

weird to me about this is that nike is a company that generally speaking i kind of dig that they you know they're not they align themselves with colin kaepernick they align themselves with a lot of causes which then causes other people like on the right to be sort of like i'm gonna i'm only going to wear Under Armour from now on or whatever you know what I mean like Nike seems comfortable existing in the space where they're kind of people are mad at them maybe they're just maybe they don't like this because they didn't create this like it wasn't their call is why they don't like it well they're getting

a lot of bad press because like I'm hesitant to talk about this too because there's a whole bunch of cultural stuff going on around this Genevieve and I've only started this I always start a million articles and never finish them I am I've just I gotta be one of the dumbest guys out there but Genevieve sent me an article that was an op-ed in the Washington Post um talking about you know this all of this was a um kind of to drum up publicity for Lil Nas X's new song Montero that you just said which also has like this this video where that involves a lot of like you know demonic imagery and queerness and there's a lot going on and Genevieve sent me this interesting op-ed that i've sort of read about um why what we're seeing here is a need to go beyond queer acceptance and and tolerance but actually embrace that identity it's just this is bringing up little nas x by doing this publicity stunt which is mostly what it is is bringing up a lot of important interesting cultural things to the surface and of course on the other side you have Fox News who is just saying Lil Nas X is trying to turn your kids into Satanists right like and it's just like and so because of that now Nike is you know the right is saying why would Nike release these shoes and you know the media on the right they have no love of Nike because of stances like the Kaepernick stuff and what have you so of course they're just going to say Nike has released these shoes which is just inaccurate but it is kind of funny and interesting because I I don't really care if Nike takes it on the chin either. They're just reading the marketplace like everybody else. But it is kind of funny that Nike's over here being like, but we didn't. That's not – but we didn't. That's not us. We didn't make these shoes. But then you have the right to say –

Everyone send your shoes back, please. Nike is promoting Satanism, yes. Yeah. I mean you said it pretty well, I think. But my understanding of kind of –

That seemed awful. the let's be honest i don't i don't agree with that whiskey talking there i don't agree with

that i i was talking about you and how you are on the show the other day with someone and i was saying almost every day andrew reports to me that he felt very bad about the previous day's show and it's the things that make you feel bad are never things that i am noticing or that i think are even probably real in the world of certainly for the listeners i was going to say though like i believe what little nas x is really looking to do and this was based on some of the information that the listener meli included was yeah like if there's this idea of sort of respectability politics you know um as it maybe pertains to black people or in this case as it pertains to gay people little nas x is trying to sort of blow up this notion that the way to get gay acceptance is to act is to not make a fuss and to not draw attention to yourself and to kind of try to quote-unquote fit in and if you just fit in enough and if you just don't ruffle any feathers then people will be okay with you being gay or queer right and we will quote-unquote tolerate you right and Lil Nas X's thing is like no you're going to tolerate this video yes you are right these shoes that have blood in them you know right right right right so it's pretty brilliant though I mean I mean I actually think the video the video to me is let me just put it this way it's not my aesthetic but i'm very glad it exists right sure yeah like it's i have to sort of like look at it as a political piece i guess or maybe not a political piece but just like a cultural piece because to me it's just but i also i could not understand less about where the current pop culture is at fashion wise music wise so this is just yet another thing that i'm kind of like the aesthetic of it is not for me but the message of it is very much for me and very much something

that i i support yesterday genevieve was talking about um a fella that she saw in a grocery store just a stranger um

who was – she described him as an old man, an elderly man who was about seven feet tall. And it was just remarkable to her because she said it was amazing.

The guy must have started out nine feet.

Right.

She's like, I don't – You've seen an old guy who's seven feet tall. It's like, wow, where was this at its apex?

Right. And this is at the grocery store. And the story was just like – it was amazing how tall this person was to see somebody in real life that tall. She said, if I went up to him, my face would have been in his rib cage. And I said, please don't put your face in other men's ribcages. But anyway, the funny – the only reason I'm bringing this up is because she described what he was dressing. She's like, you know, he's dressed like an old man, like kind of a members-only jacket and a button-down shirt or whatever else she said. I was just like, that's me describing how I dress. She's like, well, yeah, you dress like an old man. I said, you picked out that jacket with me. It's not actually – I think it's actually Tommy Hilfiger, but it's like that style jacket. I was like, you picked that out for me. she's like yeah no it's not a bad looking jacket but it's just an old man jack and i'm like i could have used that information when we were in the mall together five years that's like the first

time you hear you too on the classic rock station i remember being in like high school even and hearing music that i remember when it came out being played on classic rock i wonder if that wasn't also just an attempt by the program director to you know sort of grab a wider audience but the first time that something that i remember i mean now for me what it is is sports where all the kids like there's a guy playing last night named yastrzemski yeah like that's got to be the like great grandkid of carl yastrzemski like now it's like the the people that are playing the coaches are the people that i used to watch play right you know like and and uh and then the the their kids or grandkids are the ones that are actually doing the playing but same thing with like music that you grew up with being like one of the greatest hits of yesterday or being told that an elderly man at the grocery store dresses exactly like you.

Right, right. right, Let's take it back to last night just for a second because I can't stop. But Taylor Trammell, a rookie had his debut last night and you hit me to this because I had already put on my headphones and left the TV room. But the postgame coverage was still going on. And you said, Hey, this kid's like, I'm falling in love with this kid. You got to watch this interview. So I went back in there and he was being interviewed by Angie Minting. Did I say that right? I struggle with her name.

I used to know her as Angie Arlotti back in the day, but then she became Angie Mentink, and you got it right.

Covering the Mariners for a long time in the broadcasts and part of the broadcast team there. But anyway, she's interviewing him, and he is. He's just charming, and you love him so much. And the very opposite, by the way, of Marco Gonzalez, who was pitching last night. Oh, right. Who just like I had never heard a worse interview. It was just like nothing but cliche, cliche, cliche, saying nothing. But anyway, at the end of it, I noted that Angie said, OK, you know, she was clearly kind of enamored by him as well. And when she said goodbye to him, I think it just slipped out. She said, OK, bye, kiddo or something. And she called him kiddo. Of course, she's a mom. She has kids who are younger than him. But something about her calling him kiddo really spoke to me.

It was his major league debut. He had his family there. I think he had his fiance there. He played really well. So, yeah, I mean, and he was just in high spirits. I'm not saying I want the season to end after one game, but there are so many pro sports seasons that have ended abruptly. Maybe, I don't know, maybe this is the high watermark.

Well, don't forget, and I'm sorry to keep bringing it back to this, but don't forget, like, what was it? It was two years ago. It was the pre-pandemic year. We had a magical start to the season that I'll never forget. It started in Japan with a celebration of Ichiro, which I thought was going to be terrible, but ended up being a real bonding moment for us. I totally cried, by the way, during that. And then that was the first series. And then they came back, and I believe they went 13-2 for the first 15 games. And we all knew that it was going to fall back to Earth. But enjoy it while you can, right? Brody Stevens, enjoy it.

All right, before we get out of here, let's do a little music for your weekend. And, Andrew, what have you selected for the listeners on this? Is it a beautiful Friday in Seattle as well? Is it sunny? Is it nice?

It is so nice. I read in the Seattle Times, we were talking about getting mad at meteorologists for getting it wrong. I read a whole article, Luke, not even part of an article. I read an entire article on Monday about how the weather was going to be really nice on Wednesday and then it was going to turn absolutely awful on Thursday and Friday and that we shouldn't get our hopes up. But I appreciate the Seattle Times taking it upon themselves to manage our expectations. I do the same thing, and also I'm a sensitive guy. However, boy, did they get it wrong. The past three days have been beautiful. It could not be nicer outside right now.

You know what you do when you see that whoever wrote that article from the Seattle Times? You say, hey, got it wrong.

Guess you got it wrong. You owe me a dollar.

All right, Luke, I haven't been listening to a lot of new music lately, but I've been dragging some new songs over into my kind of working playlist as I hear them. And I keep forgetting every time I get a press release that says Dinosaur Jr. has a new song, I always think, oh, that's right. They reunited. And then I look back. I'm like, oh, no, they've been releasing new records since like 2016. They reunited like a long time ago, but they do have a new record, I believe, coming out very soon. And this is a track off it And it's called Garden And this is a Lou Barlow track I'm not huge into the lore of Dinosaur Jr I'm not sure if you are Luke

I really like Jay Mascus put out this record I think it's called Elastic Days Not with Dinosaur Jr But just as a solo thing And I really like that album And of course I really like Start Choppin And Feel the Pain Some kind of bigger Dinosaur Jr hits right also i don't know if there's a band called dinosaur senior or it's a twitter person i follow

but that's a great name dinosaur senior it is um so anyway but one thing is again i don't know much about them my friends in college were like you know just huge into the whole universe of dinosaur junior but i know that jay mascus and lou barlow had a pretty big falling out i think i think lou barlow either left in anger or got kicked out of the band or something but uh he is part of the current lineup again, which is something that was lost on me. So I hadn't heard a Dinosaur Jr. song fronted by Lou Barlow in a long time, as opposed to the usual kind of mascus sound. So this stood out to me. Sorry for all the blabbing. This is a brand new song by Dinosaur Jr. called Garden.

It happened. Nobody's happy with it. Everybody's living through it. Must admit, I went into it. Don't make it harder. Hand me the hand. No time no way. Where is the garden? And when do we do love how you live with me? Takes time. It takes time looking at me.

Okay, there you go. Some real aging hipster music. to close out a show in which we discussed our love of Oldsmobile cars, dial radios, and members-only jackets.

I'm putting it all on the Gram, Andrew. I'll have it all on my Gram. People can, you know, go through it and figure out links to different songs we played. I actually would like to suggest a song by well, it's a singer named Jen Wozner. She's part of Y-Oak Which is a band that I like a lot But she also does her own thing And plays under the kind of name Flock of Dimes Not to be confused with Stack of Dimes Or Flock of Seagulls But I feel like it exists In a liminal space Between those two concepts It's called Flock of Dimes She has a new album out Flock of Dimes has a new album out Which I believe is called If You See Me Say Yes And I wanted to suggest playing the song two from this new Flock of Dimes record. Can you play that from where you're at, Andrew?

I wanna be good And I want to mean it. I want to put your hands over my dark night. And finally see it. My spirit is dragging. It's been sleeping enough. I remember what it feels like when it's open. I want to wake it up. I think I've been kind of like, I've been in a real...

Cocteau Twins, and also Kate Bush kick of late. And I feel powerful, powerful Kate Bush and Cocteau Twins vibrations coming off of this album. So if you like that stuff, you might like to check out Flock of Dimes. All right. Our listener suggestion comes from listener Sarah, who says, Hiya, Luke and Andrew. My music for your weekend suggestion is from Celeste. She's a British soul pop jazz singer Who is new to me But had a hit single in 2019 called Strange An instrumental arrangement of Strange Was used for a very steamy scene In the show Bridgerton Did you ever get down with Bridgerton? I feel like everybody's talking about it But I haven't actually Carved out the time to watch it Yeah, I kind of missed The big cultural moment of that But I should probably go back and check it out At some point I'll watch that in exactly 161 nights It was a very steamy scene In Bridgerton Which put it on my radar Once I looked it up And then started listening to her debut album Which came out in January I couldn't stop Her voice is rich and sultry She has a huge range of song styles Sometimes reminding me of Billie Holiday Amy Winehouse, Lauryn Hill, or Adele The song I picked is called Love is Back And it feels like a great way to start a weekend Thanks as always for your company Love you guys No mountain too tall Sarah, one of the menches on the bench. Oh, Sarah. Yeah, it's our friend Sarah from Boise, who's suggesting this song by Celeste. So that's what we're going to play. That's going to bring us to the end of our broadcast week. Thank you so much, everyone, for hanging out with us. Thanks for being part of TBTL. Thanks for letting us do this. We'll see you on Monday. Until then, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. Stay safe. Go Mariners. Go eat a Bregel. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Love is back, love is back, love is back, for a moment, there it goes, turn around, next thing you know, love is back. Oh, my God, I feel so bored I'm starting to realize that all the boys I find all trouble I told my mother, she said, go get your glass full So I did, and I saw you I saw you gleaming across the scene, across the room It's all in you I need the meaning when I see it all in you Love is back

Love is back

Power out