Muse

Hey, did you guys read that thing in The New Yorker last month about how golf is an analogy for marriage?

I did. I did read that. Did you read that thing in McSweeney's? I was comparing CD tracks and album tracks. Did you read that?

Yeah. Did you read that thing in Mother Jones about eco-chairs and eco-ways to sit?

I did. Yeah. I did. Did you read that thing in Spain about all the festivals?

Uh-huh. Did you read that thing in Pace? It was about the National.

Oh, I saw that. Did you read that thing in Dwell about all the mid-century houses?

Yeah. Did you read The New York Times? Yes. The New York Observer? Did you read that steampunk article in Boing Boing? I did not like the end of it. Did you read that skywriting over the Willamette River? Yes.

Did you read that fortune cookie from last night? Yes. Did you read it? Yes. There were two. Yes.

Did you read that thing that guy wrote in the sand on the beach? Yeah. Did you read the Portland Mercury? Yeah. Did you read the Willamette Week? Yeah. Did you read the Seattle Stranger? Beginning to end. Did you read the SF Weekly? I loved it. The Harvard Lampoon? Well written. Did you read Mad Magazine? I did not like the end of it. TBTL.

Today, I am making this studio a no embarrassment zone. My dream is to sail around the world on a catamaran with two members of every cat race and share my love with cats for all the humans to see around the world. Before we go any further, I need to know if there are any hidden recording devices in the room. I will find out if there are. I'm sure you would, but there's none because that would be stupid of us and we're not stupid. Silly move. It's a no. We have to get drinks. Several drinks. Don't you think? Let's celebrate. Celebrate drinking. Okay. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's a waste of time to do that. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. As Jay would say, he's got flow. Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, where we've returned to a little bit more typical springtime weather here in the Northwest. It had been just ridiculously, like, I got sunburned yesterday on my jog. Kind of warm weather here in Portland, but now it's cloudy. It's going to rain, I think, for the next 40 days and 40 nights. Which, I don't know, could mean something is going on biblically. But anyway, we will get through it with the help of your friendly imaginary radio friendos. That would be us here at TVTL where we've arrived at episode 3407 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

Amazon.com is now making it possible if you are a person at Whole Foods, Particularly the Whole Foods in Seattle That you can pay for your groceries With the palm of your hand So you got my money? Given an entirely new meaning to Palm Pilot Where's my I cannot believe He just told that joke drop See this is the problem I'm just The top of the show I'm just in a I'm in a zone I'm in a flow state some may say I'm in a fugue state they don't know what I'm going to say and then sometimes I just whiz a real smoker like that joke that I had no prior plans to say I don't have the proper audio ready to go so maybe I'll just play this one R.I.P. quality comedy may you rest in power I'm really sorry about that Palm Pilot joke anyway we also want to talk about Remember when the kind of debris from some SpaceX rocket project was breaking up over Seattle and creating this, like, very beautiful, very eerie, kind of, like, slightly scary light show. People thought maybe it was the aliens had come or something. Well, it was just kind of the, I don't know, I don't know from rocketry. I'm no rocket surgeon. but um oh sorry let me get this one back together for me saying rocket surgeon anyway uh i'm not a rocket person but the whatever it was some part of the thing that was burning up upon uh coming back into the atmosphere well guess what some of those things landed in washington state like near where people were living like 50 feet from where people were living call kenny loggins because you're in the danger zone That seems like a very bad system. The debris just falling down to the earth where it could definitely have killed someone. So we'll tell you about the amateur sleuths who used weather, satellite data, triangulation.

and just good old-fashioned shoe leather to find these giant hunks of debris. In one case, they were chased off someone's property with a shotgun. So we'll tell you that story coming up. And then, of course, we're all about trying to find the greatest moment in TBTL history.

I've had many a moments on the lips and many a lifetime on the hips with Sherry's Berries.

And so we're going to continue the TBTL Drops of Stupider competition where we try to figure out the most memorable moment In TBTL history We'll do all that Oh plus It's a Thursday A.K.A. A Blur's Day

It's my birthday today

So we'll do Blur's Day messages With this guy The longest running Cobra of the show Maybe best known For his depictions Of the tall ships And this week Maybe Best known And Most Empathetically Thought of For his finger injury That he's still Dealing with I think I speak for the TBTL listener community When I ask Well How are you doing Andrew Walsh My friend

Hey, thanks. I'm doing okay. I'm doing a lot better. I got to ask, though, did I just hear some stealth, almost guerrilla marketing for Sherry's Berries there a few minutes ago? Are we just slipping that in? I've had many moments on the lips and many a lifetime on the hips with Sherry's Berries. Did I miss a meeting with Sally and Lauren about a new sponsorship from the Sweet, Sweet Sherry's Berries organization?

I just knew we were talking about the greatest moment in TBTL history. I typed moment into my bank of audio drops, and that's one that came up. And so on the fly, Andrew, I dragged it up into the special software where I play audio, and I just fired it without previewing it, and I regret nothing.

Well, speaking of dragging, I did not say that to drag you or your drop style. You're the best in the biz as far as that's concerned.

Thanks. I'm also the only one in the biz.

I just wanted to. Well, that's how you get the honorifics. But, yeah, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing any of those meetings. Because I know we've been talking more about.

We'll be billing Sherry's Berries for those. Good. In the wild, you know, just kind of spawn con, I believe we call it. Sponsored content. We've integrated it into the show, Andrew. And, well, it's the only way to make a buck in this podcasting game here in 2021.

You're not wrong, actually. Hey, get ready with the taps for the death of good humor. Oh, good. I've actually got that. As I say.

I've already used it about six times today.

As I suggest this, what if we had sponsored content known as SpawnCon, but what if this becomes such a thing that they start having conferences based specifically on SpawnCon? I think you would call it SpawnConCon. i'm saluting humor as it flies away as it floats towards humor into a grave

it's covered humor's casket is covered in an american flag then we walk oh sorry and we hand the flag to a grieving jerry seinfeld yes I'm trying to think of who kind of typifies humor. Who's the funniest person out there? Tim Robinson.

We'll say Tim Robinson.

There you go. Thank you. That's actually a very updated – one of the few updated references we make on this program. Hey, can I ask you something about SponCon and journalismism? Yeah. At the top of the show, you played one of my – honestly, one of my very – It's hard for me to pick a winner from the Portlandia. By the way, next year's Drops of Stupider will be, which Portlandia clips does Luke like the most? Just be ready for that. So at the beginning of the show, you played that great drop or that great piece of tape from Portlandia where they're running through all the different things that they've read and checking in in this way that I think we tend to in modern life. Although, as you said before the show, and as we've probably referenced on the air in regards to this clip before, many of those publications are not even in business anymore. But one of the publications that's mentioned is the Willamette Week, which is kind of the Seattle Weekly down here. You got the Portland Mercury, which is literally The Stranger. It's like the same company. And then you got the Willamette Week, which is actually still being physically printed, which is kind of amazing. because you know this i don't think the seattle weekly in seattle is they don't put out a paper

version of it anymore do they know the stranger has gone down once every two weeks and the physical paper is kind of a truly a shadow of its former self and i don't think the seattle weekly also yeah i i don't want to speak too much off the cuff here but you know i also think the seattle weekly kind of changed hands and again i think it's more more of a name acquired at some point by a company that didn't have a great track. record for prioritizing the journalism. And, I mean, that's kind of what happens sometimes when we're in a kind of a changing media landscape and somewhat of a downward spiral is sometimes you'll get some forces that will just sort of jump in and say, well, is there anything we can pick off of the bones of this thing before it's all done? Because, you know, a lot of people have put a lot of hard work into these city newspapers. And The Stranger, for instance, in Seattle, was just absolutely everything to me when I was in high school and college. I mean, I probably read The Stranger more than maybe any other publication, and it really shaped my sense of what it was to live in a city and what it was to think about how the city council sort of interacted with the citizens of that city. I mean, that's the kind of stuff The Stranger would talk about a lot, and queer culture, Which I had zero experience with growing up Very sheltered and evangelical So I really have a real soft spot for these publications But anyway, there is a current cover story on the Willamette Week The 51 Best Patio Bars in Portland Now that's intriguing to me As a newly minted Portland resident Because I don't know the 51 Best Patio Bars in Portland Also that sounds like a good way to enjoy some summer libations whilst staying safe, right? So it's very, like, relevant to my interests. I'm looking at it now. Well, come to find out. What's that? I'm looking at the article as we speak. Now, as you look at that article, Andrew, would you know, upon just checking it out, just glancing at it, just looking at it through a newspaper? The other thing I love is that the Willamette Weeks in Portland are still in newspaper racks. Like, you could be sitting outside having some lunch and you look over and there it is, which is also very old school to me. would you know looking at it that each one of those 51 best portland patios or rooftop bars or whatever they're gone had to pay six hundred dollars to be included on the list um what is the

question would i be surprised i am a little bit surprised because i thought will amic i'm not i am not good at following where these publications are but i know there's a trend of these one time i was thank you i was looking for that while you were talking how do i not have that in my arsenal um but uh sorry i'm just so impressed by you having this music i'm so mad at myself i was looking all over while you're talking but like how is it is it andrew is it really great or

really sad how much our brains i mean people already think on twitter we're the same person but our brains have already fused to the point where we're both feverishly looking for disposable genius i know allison because it was for a time or maybe still is the theme music to on the media

I'm sorry I'm so distracted right now, but, like, while you were talking, I'm searching my audio database for on the media theme, and nothing is coming up, and then I'm racking my brain trying to remember what is the name of the song. We say it a lot, and then I have to – then suddenly you're talking, and I'm on the top five theme songs from public radio by some publication I haven't heard of, and then it's like, oh, that's Disposable Genius. That's also pay-to-play, by the way. Yeah, and then I'm looking for Disposable Genius in my collection. Anyway, all of that is to say – Here's what I was trying to say to you. Yeah, I didn't. I got it. I did not know that Willamette Week was in that game. I know that there's a lot of these what we call like alternative weeklies that were really, you know, true to their mission and scrappy and, you know, published locally and owned locally. And they've become shells of themselves. They basically become either like pay to play or or in some cases just kind of a compendium of clickbait. Ooh, I don't know if I used compendium right there, but it sounded good. Compendium clickbait. I thought Willamette Week still had some journalistic integrity. So I'm not surprised that some publications do that. I am surprised that Willamette Week is playing in that space. I am sure it is a matter of survival for them, but that sucks.

I want to also be careful because I'm sure there'll be some piece in the Willamette Week about Livewire at some point. And I'll be like, everyone, please go check out. So I don't think – the Willamette Week is not purely SpawnCon, but now I think it's become kind of a hybrid model, which is what I think happens. Like you said, as – like I think it's very good that this is a newspaper that exists in Portland, so I'm happy for that. But I'm also a little heartbroken to know that this cover story that looked to me just like, oh, an interesting list of these places, and I might go to them. And by the way, I still might. But the fact that it was $600.

How do you know that?

where'd you get that because they ran an ad in i found out found out this out later they had run an ad in the weeks previous saying hey do you want to be included in this it's 600 bucks so i guess they were open about that part of it it just i feel like it needs for it to be the cover story you have to Thank you.

put some kind of a disclaimer that says a special sponsorship section or whatever. If you get into the newspaper, and I'm not holding the physical paper here, so maybe I'm sure that if you were to get into this part of this week's Willamette Week and you were to look closely, you might find a note to that effect. But there was just something about seeing an article that looked like, oh, that looks great for me, and then finding out, no, that's sponsored content, and me not just also i i'm very proud of my media literacy generally like which i was about to say that's a sad thing to be proud of but i actually don't think that's a sad thing to be proud of i think it's maybe the only thing they should teach in school now um so usually i feel like i have a pretty good eye for when something is is just purely kind of journalistic and like hey here's just our we found these places we thought they were great and then something where it was like well this was actually this is the new day northwest section where we have chef tony in showing us how to make a really delicious crudité for your summer parties. By the way, Chef Tony works at a restaurant that had to pay $2,000 to get him on New Day Northwest.

Yeah, so first of all, a few things here. I like the fact that you've given up on TBTL ever getting written up anywhere before you're only concerned that Willamette Week will write up Livewire, and you're saying that on TBTL.

Well, if we drag Willamette Week hard enough here, we might get written up, but probably some kind of expose that will take the show down in flames. So let's not count it completely out.

OK, well, I will, given that we're not worried about our own media presence in Willamette Week. At least I'm going to continue with that. I find this to be very upsetting. I am. So when you go to the when you go to the article online, I've read, you know, the quote unquote article. It's a small introduction written by staff writer Matthew Singer. And it doesn't say anything about the fact that it says. So in anticipation of the post-vaccination summer, we revisited 51 of our favorite bar patios in Portland. They're claiming that this is their favorite bar. This is their favorite bar patios in Portland. Like, that is not what this is. This is a list of people who placed an ad for this. And it doesn't say that anywhere. Or if it does, it is buried somewhere. What they do is they then link to the different categories. Party patios in Portland, our favorite Portland patios for dates, our favorite patios for day drinking, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And they're all listed as our favorite, which makes you think it has the imprimatur of Willamette Week. And none of these, when you click on them, it has the list, but none of them say, you know, this is these were paid advertisements. That's a problem, man.

Yeah, it's it's. Well, again, the thing that's weird part is I actually think it's a fairly useful list for me. So that's where it gets really complicated because I'll probably go to some of these places because I need a list of the 51 best rooftop bars and patios in Portland. But I just wish that it would have been more clear that there was a financial – there was a sort of a financial element to be included in this. And then also, like you already said this, but further, further, further complicating it is the fact that is the fact that I want these publications and I want New Day Northwest in Seattle to exist. Like I want all these things to exist. And in order to do so, they have to get into they just have to do SpawnCon. I just think it should be a little bit more clearly indicated.

Dude, I am not against advertising and I am not against SpawnCon. Exactly. You just have to indicate it. I want to do SpawnCon. I'm not joking. like it would be good for tbtl if we could hook up with like some you know so actually have like a real partnership with like we used to with um i don't know if you would call it spawn con but chateau san michel that was a good relationship between us and them we felt you know we had heartfelt feelings towards them as an organization we did events together and everybody knew they support us financially but also we're we're talking about how much we like i'm like that i have nothing wrong with that but nobody was confused nobody thought we were doing that for free this is right this is i don't like it luke i don't like it yeah we um that was wine con by

the way yes yo that's when i just whined about the current state of the media at a convention it's kind of it's surprising to me looking back on it all these years later um boy this is just a day where we're giving out i'm giving out i'm handing out free plugs left and right because i already played you some sherry's berries content yeah now we're talking about former sponsor who no longer financially support the show Chateau Saint-Michel but um the very like when we were just barely a podcast only product so we had left Cairo by left I mean been fired and we had this one really great salesperson at Cairo who a woman named Jen Martin who was like I think there's something to TBTL so I would like to continue trying to you know find sponsorship for this podcast and she was really good at her job and was the one who kind of said up the Chateau Saint-Michel deal and I remember going out for this big meeting with them and it was like a tasting so it was kind of like let's have a let's have a conversation about what the sponsorship would look like and also while you're here we've got like 45 glasses of wine for you to taste and I mean like not to steal the plot line from sideways but I don't really think I knew about spitting wine out i was i have a feeling i was pretty loopy by the end of that tasting slash business meeting about them sponsoring our show and somehow through all of that they decided yeah we actually want to do this and for many years that was a really great relationship and

something that really helped keep tbtl going i have not done a lot of whining and dining with account executives in my life but when i was pretty darn new on tbtl and also a producer at cairo radio for you know a different show and i think i just started like i think i filled in hosting one time or something or i was a producer who had my mic open for an entire show or something and then you invited me out to daniel's broiler for a special meeting with two of the people, I think one representative from Cairo Radio, maybe, and somebody from Chateau Saint-Michel, or maybe it was just me and you and two people from Chateau Saint-Michel. I don't remember. I felt very fancy. Here I am in Daniel's broiler. You know, we're talking about the future. We're talking about partnerships. We're talking about Synergy, Luke. And then during that meeting, I think it was you. It must have been you. It couldn't have been one of them. I learned third hand that I'm hosting the Ron and Don show the next day. Do you remember that? I had very little hosting experience at all. And then at one point over dinner, you just say, oh, yeah, and I hear you're hosting Ron and Don tomorrow. And I said, what are you talking about? And that's how I found out that I was going to be a fill-in host on Cairo Radio. Yes.

That must have felt like it's like the moment in the movie where Ray Liotta, where everything's going well for Ray Liotta.

Right. You know what I mean?

Like, it's like there's some Bobby Darin playing in the background. It's like, you know, we were flying high. Dinner's at Daniel's Broiler. Fill in shifts on Ron and Don It's just like that kind of classic Scorsese Sort of like progression scene Where everything's really working As I say that now, could it have been the next day

Maybe it was like later that week

Don't let the truth get in the way of a beautiful progression scene

Now that I don't trust myself I do remember, I mean there is truth to that story In fact, I was on TBTL at this point obviously So I'm sure you could go back in the archives And find the moment that I talked about it But it was like in like maybe two days or something you're going to be hosting the Ron and Don show. And somehow my bosses hadn't told me that yet, which is a very – it just speaks to kind of how maybe that side of the business works or maybe just our organization. But it's just so like – for me, at that point in my career, the idea of hosting the main drive time – fill-in hosting one half of the main drive time show on that station in this market was shocking to me. I never saw myself as a radio host, and it was very exciting news. And it wasn't like my boss said, hey, we think you're ready for the big game. Put me in, Smokey. I'm ready to talk. Show title? Put me in, Coach. I'm ready to film. But, you know, now I'm sitting at dinner. I'm already feeling like, oh, wow, things are really looking up for me. I'm at business meetings at a steakhouse now. And then it's like, and you're hosting the Ron and Don show. I remember that being a pretty big deal for me.

Those are like really, I mean, those are fun, amazing snapshots in life. Those little moments where you're just like, oh, I think for me, I don't know how interesting this is to listeners. Probably not at all. But a biggie was when I found out that I was going to be like doing this kind of getting to be a reporter at NPR thing because I had been a producer. I've been a behind the scenes person. And then I had sort of applied for this gig, this kind of weird special thing they had, and everybody and their grandmother applied for it because it would be really fun to get to leave your normal job and go travel around and be a reporter. And the Friday that that came down and I didn't think I got it and I went to the tattletale and I started getting hamboned and then I decided to go back to work because I wanted to be sitting at my desk groggily when it was time to check out instead of, you know, my boss walking past my desk and not seeing me there. and then anyway they called me and they paged me over the all call at npr and then of course told me i got the gig and it just so happened that like all my friends from npr west were all like up for a you know a going out that afternoon and we just were you know of course returned to the tattletale um and uh and it was just kind of one of those one of those

really fun moments that was, again, felt very Ray Lee. I mean, I'm assuming, I haven't even seen really any of those movies. I think I saw Casino once. I don't know if I've ever seen Goodfellas. Really? But it seems like a thing that would happen to Ray Liotta.

I'm surprised you haven't seen Goodfellas. Remember we were talking the other day about The Godfather, and you said that because you, your first.

Oh, I have seen Goodfathers. Okay, yes. No, I've seen. That's a Canadian version.

Wait, do you mean Good Daddies? Wait, no, it's called. No, that might be a showtime. Who's a Good Daddies? But, you know, you talk about the pacing of The Godfather You had seen The Sopranos first So you were used to more of a, you know, kind of a faster-paced, poppy pacing A lot of Ps And then you, I think you tried to watch The Godfather after that And it just seemed slower and a little less accessible I actually think Goodfellas really does capture that Like, you would really like the rhythm and pace of Goodfellas a great deal, I think I would recommend that

Yeah, you know, I must have seen it at some point. I mean, because isn't Goodfellas famously the one that starts with the long shot of them coming in the kind of through the kitchen and the kind of side entrance of the of the restaurant or the club? That is a shot.

I don't think it's the opening shot. I think he establishes himself like as, you know, he establishes himself in the family first. But that is, yeah, a famous shot in there. Yeah.

Yeah, I do. I probably saw that movie a long time ago, and I think I think I liked it. i kind of think what happened was i thought oh that was a good movie and then casino came out which to me seemed like a version of the same movie albeit a good one you know and then it's like at some point i felt like well i think i kind of get the sense of what it's like when joe pesci and ray liotta are running amok yeah and then at some point you know uh de niro shows up and then it you know it's like it i don't know i just feel like i've seen that movie at this point it was kind of why i wasn't that into the irishman or any of those things you know and and if you like those movies obviously i i'm glad for you and i and i hope you continue to enjoy them but for me it was just kind of like i didn't know if i needed to see another one i didn't know i didn't remember

that ray leota was in casino i don't even know if he is no i think i'm looking it up now maybe that's so funny because i remember casino i like casino i didn't i don't really but you know i

I think Casino really revolves around Joe Pesci, right? And Robert De Niro.

Yeah. Oh, because Robert De Niro is the main character in it. I see. Yeah, he comes from the East Coast. He comes from New York. They send him out west because I think I'm going to butcher this, but I think that he gets into some trouble. You know, like I think he maybe gets involved with somebody he's not supposed to get involved with from another family or something along those lines. So he needs to get out of New York for a while or the East Coast, Jersey, maybe for a while to cool things off. So they send them out west to to Vegas as Vegas is just becoming what we know of as Vegas. And so he's kind of running the business from out there. And then, you know, complications ensue. But I really I think that Goodfellas is definitely the better of the two movies, I think, if I were to sit down and watch him side by side. But there's something very attractive about Casino just as far as like I I always just pick this sounds silly, but I just picture the color schemes so much in Casino. They really pop and I'm a sucker for color. And like De Niro's got like, I don't know, he's like wearing like a purple suit, like just he's wearing these clothes that would look goofy on anybody but him, you know, just yeah, it's a visual eye candy, I think.

And of course, it's famously the movie that started this line.

Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo?

So, I mean, we owe it a lot for that. Well, since we're in the ambulance district, this seems like a good time to take a quick break. and then although that ambulance hung a hung a louis wasn't expecting that what does your mom

call it my mom

calls a u-turns a ubi the thing that my mom did that she'll never live down the the poor woman and i am going to definitely send her some sherry's berries this year no question about it i'll say i'll say what's up by the way my mom sent a text out this morning because a bunch of my siblings are getting well david and his girlfriend alicia i think are getting their second shot today or no maybe they got theirs yesterday my sister sarah is getting her second shot today my sister liz just got hers my mom sent out a text addressing all of her second shotters oh that's apparently how my mom is now uh to all of my second shotters and then she was giving people advice on how to ride out the inevitable uh not feeling great after the second shot but um the uh the thing that my mom said once and i mean this is my my poor mom I mean raising seven kids she's got her hands full and then she just has one thing wrong and we never let her live it down but it was when we were driving down I remember the exact street we were on we were driving down 80th in Seattle at 80th and Aurora so we're heading down the hill on 80th and I feel like we were actually in like my Aunt Mary Lou's van which would have made sense because my Aunt Mary Lou and my Uncle Mike often went and lived in Russia for like years at a time but they had their like car and their house still in seattle so we were probably i think we were driving my mom was driving their van and my mom famously said everybody hold on i'm gonna make a wide turn which wasn't what she meant to say she was just gonna have to make a sharp turn okay but i don't know why i mean it's not even that like it's not even that far off but it made us laugh so hard that to this day we will roast my mom at family gatherings by saying I got to make a wide turn.

I used to we have things in our family like that, too. We used to go on, I think, almost yearly vacations down to Florida. We would drive our van from Ohio down to Florida and like spend a week there or something as kids. And there is a drugstore called Farmore. And I'm pretty sure it was spelled P-H-A-R. And then off the R was the little X to indicate like in the logo that is R-X. It was a pharmacy. Yeah. It was called Far More, but I didn't know about the whole RX situation. I just called it Farksmore, and my sister thought that was hilarious. And so I think Farksmore would still bring a smile to anybody in my family's face.

At least that one. Yeah, that one's more comical than I'm going to make a wide turn. I don't know why of all of the conversations, of all of the thousands upon millions of things my mom has said to us over the years. I don't know why I'm going to make a wide turn jumped out. It's not even that – Fark's more at least sounds like fart. Yeah. He wrote Fark's more. At least there's some comedic value to that. Yeah. But anyway, Andrew, this feels like the right time for me to tell you you're filling in for Ron and Don tomorrow with the real estate office. You've got to close three condos in Belt Town, and you've got a showing in Shoreline at four for a very nice couple. They moved out here. The wife is working at Amazon. So anyway, good luck with that. I hope you have your fresh-baked cookie spray that you bring and spray around the house and all of that. You are the Windermere beneath my wings, Luke. Now that, that, my friend, is a show title. I'll tell you what, those guys, boy, did they ever, you know, I know that their departure from Cairo was not exactly great for them, and they were pretty frustrated, and I think to some degree rightfully so. but boy did they ever jump onto the right business at the right time those two they're

killing it in the real estate yeah yeah it turns out that property values are very high around here

yeah i i would imagine that they're that they're doing quite well with their real estate business probably probably dwarfing whatever they were doing in this penny ante radio game yeah anyway All right. You know, that's weird. They said, like, I think penny ante, that's a line from It's a Wonderful Life. And I'm assuming that that's a reference to, like, some kind of a poker game where the ante, like, you know, the buy-in is a penny. But I think a penny would have been kind of a lot back when It's a Wonderful Life was made. No. I mean, more than now.

I mean, I'm not denying inflation.

I don't mean it'd be, like, a week's wages, but wouldn't a penny be, like, a dollar then or no?

I mean but is that is is a dollar buy-in for a poker game a lot

For an ante I guess not I guess not maybe you're right I mean I don't I don't I mean I'm honestly asking I don't play a lot of home well it depends on the structure I mean there's a lot of like first of all it'd be like if you were in a home game there's not really an ante in most games at a casino instead there's what's called the rake which is they take money out of the winnings but Then there's also the blinds, the big blind and the small blind. A lot of people, though, if you play in a home game, there might be an ante. So anyway, I paused there because I was just wondering how into that I wanted to get for the listeners. Right, right. Not very into it.

About that much. About that much.

That's about the right amount. All right. Well, we're going to try to make some pennies here during this break, and then we'll come back. Speaking of pennies, lots of them. We'll thank the dazzling donors, and then we'll get into the top stories in a moment here on TBTL.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set Now ready Ready Go Everybody rattle

Dazzle

Everybody rattle Alright let's Thank Some Dazzling Donors These are the wonderful Generous people Making The show possible Today With their Donation of A dazzling amount Of dough Talking about Luke Hertel Luke says By the way Luke is in Rhode Island It's a co-hugger Is anybody from Rhode Island a Quahogger, or do you have to be from Quahog, Rhode Island? I think it's the Quahog State, right?

I'm sorry, Luke. I had to mute my microphone for a second.

That's all right.

I really left you hanging there, didn't I? Did you ask me a question about Quahoggers?

I did.

Sorry about that. I made a mistake. I forgot. That Theo was outside this room So I closed the door for a second And then he was there reminding me that he's outside the door Because he hates nothing more Than a closed door So I turned up my headphones really loud So I could still hear you ran across the room to open the door With a broken finger And just said please don't ask me any questions Just read the message And here's where we ended up

If we can get Theo a job Driving an ambulance Here in Portland I think we'll really have it all figured out All of the sonic interruptions that we suffer through on this program. No, I was just wondering, and because you used to live in New Hampshire, which I know is not Rhode Island, but I had said Luke Hertel, our first dazzling donor, is in Rhode Island, and then I called him a Quahogger, and then I wondered aloud if anyone from Rhode Island is a Quahogger or if you have to be from Quahog, Rhode Island.

I think you have to—don't you have to dig for clams or something? What is a Quahogger? The quahog, it's a clam. Oh, it is a clam, okay. Yeah, by itself. So I think Rhode Island is known as the quahog steak. That rings a bell, but I don't know that from my time in New Hampshire. I think I just know that from the family guy.

You know, cartoon, yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, Luke Hertel, or Hurdle, whichever you prefer. Luke says, pronouncer's choice on this one. My family pronounces it in a rhyme with turtle. So we would say Luke Hurdle, but in a marriage-compromised Melissa and I now pronounce it, Hertel. Would you say they

cleared that hurdle? Oh. No. I would say that you made the right... Wow.

That was taps. I shockingly recognized it.

When I was a kid, I was very proud of my trumpet sound. Here, I don't know if I can do it while I'm laughing. Let me see. I haven't tried this in 20 years. Nope. Can't do it. That wasn't bad. Yeah, but I could feel it's not dialed in. It's like throwing a pitch for the first time. Nope, I don't have it. I can't keep going here. Well, I appreciate you trying. Used to be better.

Luke and Melissa Hertel also really appreciate it. Luke says, howdy, friendos. I just wanted to add my voice to all the other tens that consider Luke and Andrew daily companions, imaginary friends, and occasional life coaches. And then it's the emoji, the kind of like – like I would call it my Uncle Chuck emoji. Going hard on the longstanding Kelly family jokes here, but along with I'm going to make a wide turn. My Uncle Chuck has this very charming habit. This is my mom's brother. He'll say something that's a little – maybe he's spilling the tea a little bit. He's spreading the hottest of the goss. and then he'll kind of do that exact face of that emoji like like i should have said that little

kind of little grimacy showing the teeth kind of yeah kind of yeah exactly like clenched teeth but

basically kind of like oh that was over the line you know yeah be like yeah well some you know she might want to learn how to make potato salad before she brings it to every family event makes a little face yeah and then we like to do that uh just because it reminds us of our beloved uncle chuck anyway that's what luke's response to us being life coaches is and i think that's the right response because i i think it's a little bit of a should you be getting your life coached by us i don't know uh luke says i'm another alumnus of the gist class of opp let us now all perform the sign of the cross i guess that would mean that luke found out about us through the gist yeah what's the opp did you take other people's podcasts maybe oh right i was Getting that confused.

Yes, yes, yes. That's right. Because we had a segment called OPP that was other people's problems where people would write in for advice from us. Right. Remember that whole thing? Life coaching. Yeah, life coaching.

And though I was unsure at first, here I am over six years later, unwilling to miss a single pod for FOMO on that sweet, sweet content. Thanks, Luke. I would like to express a huge thank you to my 11, Melissa, who, in addition to making me a better human for the last 20 years, also never complains about all my TBTL nonsense and stories and expanding collection of tchotchkes and even occasionally listens and shares a chuckle. It would have been funny if I played MIDI taps there accidentally or the fart sound for no reason. Shout out also to my brother-in-law, Matt, a pretty big wheel down at the Cracker Factory and a man for whom I hold great admiration. He apparently took my recommendation to listen and kept listening. Oh, the validation. Lastly, a word or two of appreciation for the TBTL community. Although I myself am a painfully introverted person, I love experiencing and participating vicariously in the deep-knit community of genu...

Genuinely kind and generous people who come together and support one another around the shared experience of this imaginary radio show. It's always uplifting to hear about. Well, enough about me. Thank you both so much for what you do, who you are, your care for the community of tens, and especially for your willingness to be vulnerable. Keep striving towards your mission of curing global loneliness. Wow. we need to hire dazzling donor Luke to do some sort of and I say this with real affection and peace and love for the people at APM who have the job of marketing the show but Luke just made a very compelling case for TVTL Luke might need to look into some pro bono marketing for our program

yeah put that in the deck

maestro on your mark

get set now ready

Of course, we've also got to thank listener Ben Neal of Tacoma, Washington. Ben's name is pronounced, of course, Lake. That was really hard for me to find in the six seconds. between wrapping up listener Luke's message, looking down and looking at the pronunciation of listener Ben Neal's name, and then when you fired the music. So anyway, apologies. That was a little rough around the edges. Ben says, well, gentlemen, I had big plans on throwing some sass around in this. I like that line, throwing some sass around. That feels very Streetcar Named Desire. Like, you just come into the room, and it's like Listener Ben is in a negligee across the room. It's off of one shoulder. He's been drinking all day, and he's ready to throw some sass around the room. My, oh, my. Are you familiar with the work of Tennessee Williams?

No, I am. I just, like, if you'd given me a thousand guesses, I wouldn't have guessed. I'll take it up a thousand guesses. That's where the dazzling donor imagery would lead us today. Wow.

Ben had some big plans on throwing some sass around on this But I think the better thing to do is just say thanks Last year was tough for everyone And I know TBTL brought a ton of comfort and joy to me So thank you from me And honestly I'm going to go out on a limb And say all of the tens too Wow thanks Ben Thanks for that nice sentiment And thanks for supporting the show And being a pal of the show for a good long time We've known listener Ben for a bit And also, Ben, it's time to have some coffee. You're drunk, and it's 2 p.m.

And also, like, just a little word of advice, if you don't mind me throwing this in here. Sure. You know, I would say just, like, soak the negligee in wool light and, like, kind of just warm water. But not too hot, just warm water. Let it soak for an hour if you can, and then rinse it out and hang dry. Sure.

That's a spotless crossover moment. Ben on a hot tin roof. I believe that's what we call that.

That's a good show title. hello and welcome to top story uh amazon is going to let you pay with your palm if you go

to the whole foods on madison which is just around the corner from where i used to live um let me actually get back to that article which huh for a guy who takes great pride in printing out everything related to the show i somehow forgot to print this story out this was in vox jason delray writing about it um uh they unveiled this on wednesday a new way to pay at select whole food stores a biometric technology called amazon one that allows shopper to pay by placing their palm over a scanning device when they check out the new technology is now available at the as i mentioned the madison broadway store in seattle do you ever go to that you pretty i I feel, Andrew, like you're kind of a serial monogamist with your grocery stores. You pick one, and then you mate for life.

Yeah, that's what I try to do. Every now and then I do cheat on my new Safeway with my old QFC in Wallingford. Well, you know what? It's not because I like—

They're already on the roster. That's not even cheating.

Yeah, and I don't—

You're not adding to your body count.

And I don't like the QFC more than the Safeway. I just sometimes find myself in that neighborhood. But you're asking me about the actual Amazon store.

Well, no, I was talking about that Whole Foods up there on Capitol Hill. They did, by the way, yeah, they rolled this out initially at one of those cashier list convenience stores, the Amazon Go stores. I've never been in one of those. They look like something I would love because I'm just – I'm into streamlining of processes. I'm into technology.

technology. I'm into the Mark of the Beast. I'm into all of it, Andrew. And so but I just don't live. I don't know if they have one of those in Portland or not,

but I haven't been to one of those either. I was actually way ahead of the game with that. I don't know if we've talked about this before, but I've been just putting products in my pockets and walking out of the store for years and years. It's not it's not that revolutionary.

I had a weird I wouldn't call it an intrusive thought, but a An interesting experience on that subject last night I was at a Whole Foods here in Portland Grabbing some food I was not able to pay with my palm I had to use a debit card Like it was the 1930s, Andrew

When you say pay with your palm It sounds like Game of Thrones-ian Where they're going to cut your hand off And you've paid the iron price

Yes, that's right But I was buying some cheese Because I decided that I wanted to have a little bit of uh cheese and crackers and but i wanted to buy some like a some some nice cheese i want to treat myself to a small wedge of something and so i was in the cheese section of the whole foods and it was like eight o'clock at night so they the cheese mongers had gone home and i was thinking boy i want to be careful about what i buy here because if you're not careful when you're buying really high quality cheese that kind that they you know sort of specifically crack the wheel of and then cut little pieces you could really rack up the grocery bill on that one like some of that cheese is like you know it's a lot uh and things that are high quality cost money and that's how it should be but i was reminded of like the mummy stealing massive amounts of cheese was his favorite thing to shoplift really because it was very expensive and very easy to conceal right it never even occurred to me until one day he showed up at some get together in my house with like three hundred dollars worth of cheese in his pockets and i was like what is that about and he's like oh yeah this is the thing you grab because nobody steals cheese even though it's like per ounce the most expensive thing in the grocery store and as i was i i didn't steal any cheese last night i'm good proud to say paid for it that's the difference between you and the mummy one of them um and uh it's the thought just like it was just funny just like as i was standing there like holding a a small wedge of cheese that was going to be nine dollars i just remembered as i had this like moment of remembering him it was like i was transported like in a movie or something back to my house back to him with all this cheese back to him saying oh yeah if you're going to steal something from the grocery store steal the cheese it's very expensive and very small anyway uh so yeah you're going to be able to at this uh this particular whole foods in seattle and i assume at all of them pay with your palm and i for one am very much ready for this um i already use my my newest little laptop that i have my uh macintosh air it uses the fingertip i don't know if you have that on your newer computer yeah i do do you have your fingertip kind of login yeah yeah on the computer it's the best and in fact because i use multiple computers here um but the only one that has the fingertip login is is my newest one now it's like when i have to type in when i have to like manual type in my password to unlock the screens on my other computers it feels so laborious to me yeah i don't

like it when it doesn't recognize me like if i just got out of the shower i think that my fingerprint is uh i don't know it does something to my fingerprint my finger is not wet but it's been in warm water for a while so it's changed the you know whatever the the id of my finger is And then I have to type in the password and it just feels like the 80s.

It's hilarious how quickly at least I go from something being new and whiz bang to the next generation of whatever it is comes out. And the thing that was previously whiz bang just feels so, so arcane and so frustrating. There was a point where I'm sure I was like, oh, this is very cool. my computer is smart enough to lock itself down so that I don't, you know, have to worry if I'm at a Starbucks or something about somebody coming through and stealing my data. And all I do is type in this little quick password and then I've got access again. How slick. And now I'm just like, honestly, is it the middle ages that I can't just put my finger on it and have it magically do its thing. So similarly, I'm sure that once this Palm technology takes off and once it's kind of everywhere, the idea of even bringing out my debit card will will just feel or my you know whatever that will

just feel like so such a hassle you know i have a um tablet device it's uh you know samsung s whatever the tablet is it's literally what it's called samsung s whatever the tablet is they

honestly i think they phoned in the they phoned in the end of the name of that tablet and i'm surprised it made it through all the different processes yeah and then they tableted in the name of their phone, which is interesting. Um,

yeah. but anyway that thing recognizes my face so i don't even have to touch anything i just open you know like i have a cover on it i flip the cover open and i just look at the you know whatever the lock screen is there for a second and then it just automatically says okay i can see your eyes and that beautiful beard of yours and it just automatically opens up and then on the rare occasion that it doesn't do that i forget that it's actually logging me in every time it's seamless. I got to say, I've not gone in for any of the modern ways of paying for things. I don't think you're going to be surprised to hear that. I don't know why. It's not necessarily a trust issue. I just don't feel like setting it up. Mine would be Android Pay or something, and that would mean me taking probably about two and a half minutes to download an app and then give it access to my bank account but i just don't feel like it because it's not i'm sure at some point i will do that and then i will never go back but right now paying with a debit card has never felt

laborious to me you know i'm in exactly the same situation like i have the apple watch which i know can be a thing i think that pays when i'm in the store but i just have never taken the five minutes to figure out how I, and I do have Apple Pay, I have some card connected to something, but I don't have it quite set up enough to where I can just do it from my watch. I have a feeling if I took the five minutes, I'd find it tremendously convenient, because at that point, I'd be pretty close to not needing a wallet. I mean, I guess I need my driver's license or something, but like, this watch, I have to say i i'm not really into the sort of look the aesthetic of the apple watch uh at all but but i'm into the functionality of it i mean the thing is really really convenient and useful for a lot of things and and mine is a telephone and you know all that stuff i could pretty much leave the house if i get the payment thing set up and be most if particularly i'm not driving i could be pretty much good to go but yeah i mean i would just say i don't know why i need to like shadow box with the listeners who just don't want all of their biometric data constantly you know being sold on the dark web oh by the way let me first let me shadow box with the listeners and then let me mention this other thing i would just say like hi uh hi airplanes it's blimps you won like hi uh not you know using our fingertips and our face recognition to buy and do things sorry uh we lost you won facial recognition like it's just how where everything's going i guess you could if you really said about making it your point of making it kind of a real goal to not let your info get into those systems and to just continue to pay with cash on the barrel head you could probably do it but it just and i know i sound like i'm whistling past the graveyard of like privacy and when the government comes for us and they can just use the all of the um you know facial recognition cameras that are set up on every corner like they literally have that in parts of china listen to chris hayes's very troubling uh podcast episode about the uyghurs and the detention of the uyghurs in china which is largely done through that mechanism so i know that i'm i'm being kind of glib about something that's a real deal but it just feels like at this point i just don't have the personal energy to to try to fight for my right to not have like if i can just stare into the thing at whole foods and have it recognize my face and then get my groceries and it carves 20 seconds off the transaction personally i'm just

doing it yeah you know i i actually went back to carrying a lot more cash a couple of years ago and i just say that to people who might want to mug me um i think i was just you know i would look

For the guy with headphones on, so he won't hear you coming. He has a broken finger. So actually, you could really, really take him right now.

Also, you could probably, if you had some sort of scissors, you could probably cut that camera from around his body, too.

Oh, don't come after the camera. Don't touch the camera.

You getting mugged doesn't bother me, but the camera getting hurt, that really troubles me for some reason. Don't beat up on my friend camera. but you know one thing that so I've been carrying cash and I've been enjoying kind of paying for cash and then or paying I'm sorry let me slow down for a second I've been enjoying being able to pay for things with cash not having to use my card for everything and one thing that the pandemic has brought about is companies going cashless which I completely understand from a worker safety perspective but I know a lot of these companies are not going to revert back to using cash again and not to get on my high horse about it but like that really bums me out because to me that's a huge way of stratifying that's the wrong word that's a that's a it's a huge way of putting a wedge between the have and have nots and who has access to things you know totally and like that basically says like if you don't necessarily have a home right now but and basically if you don't have a bank account i mean you can have a bank account and still be homeless but like you and i just said we don't feel like taking the two and a half minutes to download an app on our phone and input our bank information like you have people dealing with all kinds of things and if you start having businesses that say no we do not take cash we do not take what is called legal tender you are saying well then you have to be of a certain level of society where you have your life together in a way where you have a bank account. And if you don't have a bank account, you can't come in here because you can't come in here if you're not a customer. And, you know, I don't. And again, I want to reiterate here because I know some companies that are doing that because of the pandemic who are good companies with with, you know, really good intentions and wanting to keep their their their employees safe. That's really important. But I really hope it does not become the norm you know I'm thinking about the um Vives and I are not fancy pet people but we had to go across the street to Mud Bay which is kind of a you know the fancier um the fancy I love Mud Bay for the record yeah and it's fine you know it's your bougie kind of pet store type of place oh

they're bougier oh I know I know I don't know why this is something I want to like get into yeah I think of Mud Bay is like Mud Bay is the what would you say it's like the Whole Foods

of that's exactly what i was about to say yeah and there's one above our whole foods and we had to go in there the other day and it's like um and you know and i'm kind of like okay we're going into mud bay and then it's like oh we don't take cash i'm like okay well i guess that's nice for us

but they do take they do accept treats they give free treats actually as payments i know i wonder do you think mud bay and whole foods well we know who foods whole foods is owned by jeff bezos do you think there's a mud bay connection because there is a mud bay next to the whole foods in

bellingham ha you know i don't know that there's a business connection but it definitely is the that's what i mean that the type of customer the clientele there's definitely a connection there

right but there must be some there's i mean that can't just be a coincidence like there must be some kind of a thing where when they build out a complex like a you know they when the whole foods builds out i wonder if mud bays get like a right of first refusal to be in the complex or something or it's just it is just a coincidence but that seems weird that there's a mud bay next to your whole foods and there's a mud bay next to the whole foods in in bellingham as well um the thing i was going to say about personal privacy is i've started i don't know why i've been doing this for a long time i really held off on ever buying anything off of instagram because i don't know why i guess i just thought as soon as i like as soon as i buy one thing off instagram it's just going to be a flood of ads i don't know why i think that's what's going to happen it's just like it was a it's long it's long been a battle in my mind between instagram ads trying to get me to go shop now you know swipe up on shop now or whatever and me not wanting to do it because me thinking my phone will just become infected with ads but i actually bought some shoes the other day off of instagram that have not yet arrived but they're like kind of cool looking black dress shoes that i thought i could wear with a suit and so of course as i suspected i've started to get more ads for clothing now and this company called like rag and bone which is definitely not a place that you're going to want to shop at andrew not just because you hate the name but because it's just like i don't know i mean i'm not even going to shop there but i i swiped up or whatever and they said well if you sign up for our like text alerts you get 20 off and i was like that's a decent amount off you know if i do decide to buy something so i was like okay fine so i plugged my info in and i didn't end up buying anything but the next time i went to check my email which was probably 10 minutes later i had six random emails i'd also given them my email address i had six not from rag and bone i had six emails from just random you know products and things that i've like would never sign up for that were basically enticements and i was like you mfers like it was one of those times where i could see the direct connection between me giving them my info and them selling my info to a bunch of other random people like in the course of 10 minutes yeah and i think that i'm

going to sound like a fuddy-duddy here too but something happened to me this weekend that i was like huh that was pretty fast and i know that other companies do this but you know we go uh we move away from paper receipts towards electronic receipts, which is, you know, fine, I don't need paper receipts. But I went to another local, a little tamale place in my neighborhood that is much beloved by the community. And I know they do, they do good things or another like kind of good, a good citizen, good company to have in your neighborhood. I know that they do various outreach efforts and whatnot. I'd never been there before. I heard their tamales were really good. So I went there to grab some lunch on Sunday. Freelard tamales, by the way. I'm not trying to be coy there. And I pay with my credit card. They don't even really ask me if I want a receipt, which is fine. But then I get an email immediately that says, you know, here's your receipt from Freelard tamales. I'm like, okay, that's fine. It's just, you know, they get the information from the credit card and they send you the receipt. But then later that day, I get a note from them in my inbox saying, we want to add you to our birthday list. Yes, Theo, we're telling the Freelard story. Yeah, that one. I may have to stop in a second and take him upstairs. What happened is I made the mistake of getting up in the middle of the show, so we thought the show was over, and now he's just doing his afternoon caterwauling. But anyway, you know, like I know that you pay with a card. They have your information. And then, boom, you can be on their mailing lists. But the fact that like immediately, like within like four hours, I'm just like suddenly I'm part of the Freelard Tamales community and they want my birthday so they can add me to their birthday list, which, you know, again, I know there's modern promotion in the modern age. But I was just like, come on, give me a give me a buy me buy me a tamale first. You know, like I just like I was like unsubscribe. It gave gave I did not like that feeling. And again, I just sound like an old fuddy duddy, I think.

Well, what's weird is You're on this show You're a known birthday enthusiast You call it your birthday month Which I think is a little extra It's my birthday year The fact that you are that way And yet you didn't want free lard tamales To celebrate your birthday month That's surprising to me Alright, remember that story About that space junk That was breaking up over Seattle That people were videotaping and thinking it was well i mean i guess it was a ufo at that moment right in that it was an unidentified object in the sky then it was later identified to be uh the breakup of this like a spacex thing well crazily enough some of that junk did not disintegrate as it was coming back into the atmosphere and basically landed in eastern washington there's this amazing piece in the seattle times by dominic gates today yeah talking about and like just telling the story of these like amateur they're sort of meteorite hunters but they're just an into all things space junk who figured out that some of this stuff probably landed in like eastern washington and they went out and found it and it's pretty crazy like the the um i'm trying to figure out the exact name for this um so it was a 45 foot long three ton upper stage of the rocket that's the thing that was breaking up so what was happening was spacex was putting one of their satellites into orbit this is the satellite one of these satellites that's part of this um uh they're going to try to bring internet service elon musk wants to bring internet service to everywhere it's called starlink everywhere on planet earth and so anyway they were putting one of those things up into space and then like the rocket i guess that gets it up there or some part of it that gets settled up there then was supposed to go dump in the ocean but something went wrong and they don't really know what went wrong but for some that was part of what led to the light show over seattle but anyway this thing uh they think four of them landed in eastern washington and they weigh like i want to say like three to five hundred pounds they're about the size of like like a smallish hot water heater and one of them landed like 15 feet away from someone's pickup truck another one landed right by somebody's trailer the one that landed by the trailer um they called the police and then the police came and picked it up and then when these like space junk hunters none of whom by the way live in seattle they look one of them lives in maryland one of them lives in arizona and they just like they heard about this thing and they all just flew to washington state and then just started pouring through the data to try to

triangulate where they thought this stuff had landed anyway um by the time they got you by the

way i get the appeal of that i don't have the brain i think for the slew thing but i mean i

love i mean it's a treasure hunt totally i also don't have the brain for it but i also get the appeal like it's amazing that these guys were able to figure this out though because one of the things about they use some of this weather data and some of these like sat like weather satellites and and whatever they are pieces of software that track what's going on with the atmosphere they're just so much data is coming in through these things all the time that to actually figure out what data you need to be looking at like it's a fire hose of information So they had to go in and basically figure out exactly where they thought the stuff generally might have been, when they thought it generally might have come into the atmosphere, and then analyze that specific section of data from all this weather stuff. And they were able to actually find a couple of these tanks. So one of them, one of the tanks that, like I said, landed by these folks' trailer, by the time the junk hunters got there, the tank was already gone, and all there was was a giant divot in the ground where the tank had landed. The tank had been taken away by the sheriff. The sheriff's department would not let these guys look at the tank, which is kind of weird. and while these guys were looking at the divot and they were talking to I guess like the wife who lived in this trailer that almost got hit apparently the husband comes out with a loaded shotgun pointed at them and starts screaming at them to leave the property so they had to sprint off of there then they basically continued going around for like days and they found a bunch of the other tanks one of them was on like army property like on the other side of this fence one was in some sagebrush but they actually found these things and um what also was interesting to me about the article was the jurisdictional stuff basically like i don't know if it's the if it's the faa or whatever whichever organization is in charge of figuring out or monitoring what's going on in like the atmosphere when you do this as soon as this stuff as soon as this stuff gets down to a lower level of the atmosphere then it's no longer their responsibility i think it was the faa so when they called the faa and they were like hey do you know about this space junk they were like it's not our problem because it's now on planet earth it's someone else's problem like while it's falling through the atmosphere it's like faa responsibility but then once it hits the ground it no longer is their responsibility and so they didn't have any info on it but it also just sounds like spacex is not in any kind of trouble over this over the fact that these like four really heavy hot water heater sized things re-entered the atmosphere and almost crushed someone's truck

and someone's trailer yeah it's like who's right did i ask this last time like who's regulating

spacex is there any oversight like what's going on i don't know it seems like it's kind of again it's one of those things where it sort of falls between jurisdictions i mean i i don't it's not nasa nasa is not a space enforcement agency right i there's some there's some there's got to be an International, what's that? Yeah, let me look this up. Okay. There's got to be somebody in charge of it, though, right? Because you can't just... But you know what part of the problem probably is, is I'm sure that whatever goes on in space is supposed to be an international organization, right? Because space kind of belongs to everybody. So that's probably adding to the complication.

All I know is if you commit a crime in space, you're not... Space crimes, they can't get you for that once you're back down on Earth.

well if you commit a space crime they put you in that weird clear like piece of glass that they

put zod and everyone in in superman 2 right right i'm i'm trying to mute my microphone here because theo's being an asshole my internet went down so i'm trying to get that fixed um i got a broken finger i got a broken finger and the blood is rushing to it so i don't know who the hell is regulating spacex but i will go on the record and saying whoever it is they need to do a better job They're not regulated enough.

Here's what Dominic Gates writes. Federal officials seem to have lost interest in the space junk when it left orbit. An FAA spokesperson said the launch license granted to SpaceX ends when SpaceX loses control of the rocket. So its subsequent uncontrolled random reentry is not an FAA licensed activity, the spokesperson said. So the agency is not investigating it, which is weird to me. So if you have an FAA license to launch a rocket into space, but then your rocket gets wonky and starts reentering the atmosphere, because it's not part of the licensed spaceflight, it's no longer the FAA's responsibility. Now, when it hits the ground, NASA tells Dominic Gates that this is a non-NASA mission. So NASA is not tracking the debris themselves. It's a FEMA issue once it's on the ground because that's a federal emergency that needs to be managed. So it goes from being an FAA thing To being a FEMA thing When it hits the ground And at no point is it a NASA thing Because NASA is not in charge of it Also, apparently NASA directed Dominic's questions To something called The 18th Space Control Squadron Of the U.S. Space Force

I was going to say, where's Space Force in all of this And like, you know, I want to just give The armchair Uninformed hot take On Space Force, which is Can we get rid of that now But is that a very ignorant take Like is it now I mean it just seems like such a stupid Thing created by the Trump administration but now that Is real thing i guess we're talking about real people and maybe i mean what's what's going on with that

space force i guess is my question i know next to nothing about it so let me give you a long detailed theory on it um i think it was started as just a bullshit trump administration distraction but i actually think that it's probably a good thing that we have that we do some thinking about about what goes on in space from a not militaristic standpoint but just there are so many satellites up there and we're getting ever closer to you know more private space flight we're just like space we were just we're becoming much more uh adept at going into space and so much of what we do involves things that are in space satellites and the like so the idea that we and and there real questions like you know what would happen if somebody went up china went up and wanted to just start colonizing the moon like who's in charge of that and who do they talk to and how do we negotiate that or i mean russia just said the other day that they're going to leave the international space station and make their own space station so and i don't know what the implications of that would be but or the repercussions but it actually seems to me like space is a big enough topic and there's enough going on up there like this for instance that maybe it's not the dumbest thing to have part of the government that is not nasa but that kind of

looks at space this is something that was just published late last night in air force magazine space force finalizing plans to absorb army and navy systems um the space force will announce soon i'm just sort of summarizing here which units from the army and navy will join its ranks And the services number two in command said details on the transfer are coming soon. So, yeah, I mean, yeah. So, I mean, it's an ongoing thing and they're rearranging things. So, you know, maybe maybe there is some use for this.

For whatever reason, whenever I imagine Space Force, I think Steve Carell's in charge of it. And I think it's because there was some wasn't then they make a show called Space Force that was like I didn't ever watch it. Unfortunately, it didn't get great reviews even though it had like Carell in it and it was – it had a really great cast and I believe it was created by some really kind of well-respected comedy people. But for whatever reason, it didn't seem like it quite clicked. But like Space Force being started by the Trump administration sounding like a made-up thing and then at some point literally having a TV show where Steve Carell is I think in charge of it, it feels like a Galaxy Quest thing. It feels like a made up like a TV show where they actually have to then actually go save the universe.

Looks like it was renewed for a second season. I had forgotten about this. But when you said it, I immediately thought, oh, yeah, that was kind of a pandemic show. And I see it did come out in May of last year. And there was not a lot of new stuff coming out around that time. And so it says that recently, or at least in November, it was renewed for a second season. So it's not done yet. It is a Netflix show. Maybe I should check this out. I love Carell and it's an actual Carell project It says it was created by him and Greg Daniels

It was so I know and Greg Daniels Is amazing too that's why it was so shocking I'm just so used to it being like Oh Steve Carell did a thing and it's the best thing And for him to do along with Greg Daniels to do something for people to be like yeah it didn't really Work for me it's like I'm not I wasn't Emotionally prepared for that I guess we'll Just wrap this whole thing up by saying next Time you look up in the sky and you see The beautiful fiery Site of a SpaceX rocket mission reentering the universe number one please do try to use landscape for the video pointed that out last time it really killed me that one of the main videos was just up and down do landscape on your video and then also duck because there's probably a hot water heater

coming down to hit your pickup truck you know that i am a big big proponent of the landscape mode and i and i really um you know i was very disappointed as things moved more and more to people taking videos in the i guess portrait mode but the thing is we're dating ourselves again on this i will continue continue nobody else will landscape but like think about um think about um instagram and tiktok those are all videos that are you know in the non nobody on tiktok

goes landscape mode you can't even watch it you can't even watch it landscape mode exactly so Yeah, so that's really... We lost the war. You're right. Hey, up and down, it's landscape. You won.

That's just absolute stupidity.

All right, another day. Another round of TVTL Drops of Stupider, the deuce. We're making good progress here. This is day 12, so we're kind of getting towards the end of the first round of this thing, right?

Yeah, we should be wrapping up round one on Wednesday, in fact, and then that's Wednesday of next week, and then we'll keep the keep the voting for round one going.

up through that weekend. And then the following Monday, we will find out who the winners of round one were and who will be going up against each other around two. But for now, let's focus on today's clips. You've got a number four seed going up against the number five seed. So these are both middling. Oh, that hurts. That hurts. Actually, I got a note from Jake in Chicago, of course, the perfect daddy who's been putting this together for us. And he said he's been really excited about this one because we're still in that category of stem winders you know stories that have been told and you know it's been a lot of like there was a Jen story up against a Luke story a Jen story up against a Andrew story and then Jake said I'm excited because we finally have an Andrew story up against a Luke story now in my head this isn't even a contest yours is far better than mine and I'm not saying that in a self-deprecating way I'll let the you know the tape will reveal all but the number four seed is my story of thinking i was getting bumped up to first class on an airplane it's a great story and also if that's the fourth seed and my story is the

five seed as voted on by the listeners your story is already being it's already you know there's some indication that the listeners think it's a better story and i don't think they're wrong

we'll see and again let's see how how the stories are told is interesting as well or or a factor But anyway, we'll let the tape tell all. But the number five seed, your story is your monster truck story, which I think is just it's got so much more. But you are. But you also love monster trucks. Yeah. But I mean, this was a fantastic story. OK, let me let we'll start with my first class non upgrade story. This is from September of 2019. You and I were returning home from a work trip from Minnesota, and there was some issue with the seats that I had booked for my flight home. I do not like having window seats, yet I kept on getting pushed to a window seat when I was booking my tickets through this kind of, let's call it, god-awful system that APM has set up to book flights. And I'd spent the day before my flight like on hold and in conversations with people at the travel agency and the company and the airlines and nothing really worked out. I think I finally got myself an aisle seat, but it was the very, very, very last row of this large airplane. And that is what sets us up here When I suddenly hear my name Announced On the airplane Andrew Walsh Will you please See a flight attendant Your seat has changed And I realize Oh my goodness Oh my gracious I am now A first class flyer Take a listen to this And it's all happening In like 15 seconds Right I'm like oh And the people who are sitting next to me They're excited for me now They're like oh yeah They're like And the woman even said See this is good karma Because you were so nice to me when i sat down i was like bop shaw so i take my bags are really heavy by the way because they're filled with radio equipment so i take my bags i head to the front of the plane go all the way the front of the plane and there are no open seats in first class and so i say to the flight attendant probably the person who had um who had paged me in the first place i said hey i'm andrew walsh he said oh good here and he hands me a new boarding pass and says 2f i'm like all right good but i look around and although i'll mention 2f is the window yeah it is i'll take a first class window i want to know what yeah yeah no absolutely and there's somebody sitting in my seat and i'm kind of like i hold up the thing i'm like hey i'm supposed to be up here he's like but i he's like i just got paged i'm up here i'm like what's your name we both say at the same time andrew walsh there are two there are two andrew walsh's on this plane and he is clearly a guy who would get bumped up the first class you know he's just business he looks like a businessman you know Like, maybe he's maybe 10 years older than me. Did you guys do, like, a maybe-er exercise where you, like, held up your hand and he held it up?

And you guys just were like, sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much.

By the way, I had to look up that lyric, Luke. That's from a Canadian singer, a song from the 1970s. Where'd you get that from? Sometimes when we touch?

I thought that was in a more, like, a more 80s song that was, like, popular. It was popular enough that I'd heard of it, but it's definitely like a cheesy song lyric is what I'm thinking of there. By the way, that is a great story, Andrew, because, and I don't want to influence the voters on this, but me getting, having something happen while driving a monster truck, that's not hashtag relatable. This is the song? Dan Hill, Sometimes When We Touch, 1978. you with a light

He looks like a character in one of the sketched shows that we watch.

This is what I was thinking of. Yeah, I know this. Yeah, this is pretty good.

I wouldn't have known that was a – I would have thought it was like Air Supply or, I don't know, Dan Fogelberg or something like that. I could be wrong about that.

I used to do a really quick Google on it yesterday because I was like, what is that quote? But I don't like how fast I'm talking in that clip. I'm talking a zillion miles an hour.

Be nice to my friend. That's a great story because I feel like I haven't heard the tape yet, but was it me hurting myself in the monster truck, basically?

No. Okay, we'll set up your tape here. So this was a story that, of course, arced across several weeks of TBTL because first you went to, what was it called? Super Truck University?

Monster Jam University in Paxton, Illinois.

To learn how to drive a monster truck for your CBS story about this. And there's an entire episode where you talk about practicing and how unnerving and exhilarating that experience was. And then you said, now a couple of months later, in August of 2018, I will actually be driving the truck in a Monster Jam kind of pre-competition twirl about the monster truck stage, right? In Tampa. In Tampa.

Florida exactly where perfect 10 Nick and his beautiful uh wife uh were they married then I don't think they were married at the time but anyway came and actually watched this whole

debacle exactly and so you I mean this is a long great story and it's hard just to pick one part of it but I tried to pick the climax here and I don't want to tell your story so jump in if you want Luke but essentially you talk about again now you're in front of a crowd of people you were the very first kind of truck to appear at this event so the crowd was pretty wild just hearing the roar of the truck and you you drove around it felt like you were going really really fast later on you realized you weren't it didn't look like you were going around that fast and then you get out of the truck and there's a person there who's supposed to interview you so that everybody in the crowd can hear you and you are just pumped full of adrenaline right now and you feel like you're kind of missing your your conversational cues and i'll let the tape take over from here i

was so adrenalized from driving the truck that i was shaking i was physically shaking like it was as if i had it was as if i had drank four gallons of coffee sweetened with cocaine or something then when she puts the mic in my face i just start talking nonsense like i i said um i honestly i don't even remember what i said but at some point i started totally pandering to the audience saying like what i wanted to say was something like this is way harder than it looks and i have a lot of respect for the people that drive these things but it almost it became quasi i think i just said like the men the brave men and women who drive these things it almost was like thank you for your service i mean it was my voice was like four octaves higher than it normally is i couldn't control my breathing or what i was saying or how i was saying it i and i i just and so she asked me one question i give her some crazy answer she i think asked me another question i i don't know what i said something else and then i just yelled baba booey and ran off did you really baba booey yeah i yelled baba booey and just jogged away from her

that's it I like my my machine gun laugh rat-a-tat-tat at the end there but I could not believe that that's how that story ended that you literally yelled baba booey and ran away and then I think

didn't months later or I don't know how long how much time elapsed but at some point you had the tape because listener Nick was there yes and we And so we played it and I was able to actually hear it, which I think I was very nervous about because, yeah, I mean, I've told the story a bunch of times. People have probably heard it back when it happened. But I had these jokes that I wanted to do because the other thing about this was it was being filmed by CBS. And so I was trying to generate funny tape for our TV story. You know what I mean? So I had this whole plan like to joke that Monster Jam University was my.

safety school and i don't know i can't remember if i actually got that joke off you did not like

in the tape like i didn't include it here but you said that that was your plan but it totally

escaped yeah i just lost my i completely lost my way so i had i had kind of a little a little sort of monologue or whatever you want to call it in my mind that i was planning on doing and then just the enormity of the moment just basically flushed all of that out of my brain and then it's i'm you know i'm being interviewed by this sideline reporter who is you know working hard and doing her job but not exactly the greatest comic foil and so yeah i just it just fell apart quickly and then after my first joke just was met with complete silence whatever that joke ended up being i then transitioned into some like you know thank you for your service to the other monster truck drivers which is embarrassing and then but i just wanted to be i mean and the other thing that happened was i feel like we ran around the grave digger truck at least two times yes trying to get to each other because she comes running out and it's like a fire drill i jump off the truck and then i'm going to try to meet her she's coming to try to meet me we do about two laps around the truck so it was that is a pretty good story just in that it's so silly what happened but i still to me there's something that's just so beautifully human about what happened to you like what happened to you on that airplane is something from the office yeah it's just that quiet moment of kind of you know defeat being snatched from the jaws of victory and then going back to like just the way that the other people in your section were just kind of like oh cool one of us made it and then you're cut you have to come back to them and also just how much you don't care about first class generally there's just so many elements of that that are funny what happened to me is just

more slapstick it's more I do picture you guys running around the truck I try to do that to Genevieve we don't usually go grocery shopping together I usually handle it myself but Genevieve was out for a long walk a couple of weeks ago and then she had to stop by the grocery store to pick up just something specific not and I usually handle like the the family grocery list but she I saw that I was pulling into the grocery store around the time she showed up on foot. So she kind of surprised me in the grocery store, which is kind of a weird thing. Not a lot of couples get to have that experience, I guess. But then we shopped together. None of this is really that interesting. But anyway, I was feeling goofy. Maybe I was like, hey, I got a shopping partner. Let's have some goofs. And so I was doing this thing where I had the cart and we were in the produce section. And she kept on, like, kind of picking up more, like, she'd pick up an onion and then, you know, some garlic and potato or whatever. And then she would start to make a move to the cart. And I would pretend like something was taking me in the other direction. So for a while, she didn't realize I was goofing on her. And so she just keeps on putting more and more stuff in her hands until finally, like, we are just going around an island.

And she's basically chasing me. See, that's good. That's a good slapstick. I like it.

Yeah.

All right, so if you want to vote on those two entrants into the Drops of Stupider competition, go to tbtl.net, and you can vote there.

Yeah, click on today's episode, and you'll have all of the polls there waiting for you.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roam. You can't just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun Just remember that life is much fun You can be nothing but one

All right, Luke, you got your Blur's days there? Oh, I got them, baby.

Actually, it's funny. Can I start things off? We've been talking a whole lot about The Perfect Ten, Nick, and him being at the Monster Jam event. Nick the Perfect Ten is actually our first Blur's Day message sender. He says, I want to wish the one and only Emmy Kate. Did we clarify that it is just a one and only in Florida that we know of Emmy Kate, right?

Yes, just one Emmy slash Emmy Kate.

The one and only Emmy Kate, a very happy belated Blur's Day. She kept me sane throughout quarantine and even helped me with my job search. Sorry for leaving Florida before we got to hang out At a place that isn't a waffle house That's right You could have added where I'm dressed like a hot dog Not to center Nick in the story This is about Emmy Kate's belated Blur's Day So happy Blur's Day Emmy Kate

I like to think that Emmy Kate is wearing a hot dog outfit right now Can't rule it out

This is hard Luke

I like to swell the music during Blur's Day Is what I can't do

I do it with my injured hand because all the blood is rushing to it. So I'm doing this thing where my right hand is crossed. It's like across my body, and I'm trying to read. It's a real look going on here. It's a challenge. People don't realize just how physical this job is. That's right. Tim in Pittsburgh says, I'd like to wish myself a happy 42nd birthday. It's no milestone, but the past year has been very difficult between going through a divorce, moving back home with my elderly mom, and being unemployed last year has been quite challenging. TBTL has kept me somewhat sane through my troubling times. Thank you both so much for being there for me throughout all these years, even though you don't know me. Peace and respect, Tim in Pittsburgh, your self-appointed unofficial reggae expert. Where did that come from? Yeah. Yeah, man, indeed. I'm sorry you had a tough year, Tim, but happy birthday, buddy. Hang in there.

Yeah, man, we're thinking of you. good news is i think it's only up from here yeah divorce unemployed dealing with elderly parents i think 2021 into 2022 is going to be a banner year for tim in pittsburgh i just know it right there on the shores of the managa halo river did i say it right this time i don't think

we got it right that time a lot closer and i also like to think that tim is in a hot dog suit right now as he listens to this.

Well, that's what they say when you're nervous. Picture the entire listenership in a hot dog suit. It just helps you feel less nervous.

We all want to find the guy who did this.

Ryan says, I'd love to wish my friend Erica a happy Blur's Day. Myself and all the tens should be looking forward to her new dog-related pod cart. We'll put Barquet Place out of business. Hey, wait a minute.

Why are we promoting this?

Barquet Place has now I've been run out of business before it even started. Marketplace, now featuring sponsor Mud Bay, the Whole Foods of dog places and cat places. I'm also looking forward to the day she has to tell her own shitbox story on the show. Yes, she has a shitbox. I made her one for Christmas.

Should we talk about this?

Do you know what that means?

Yeah, I believe Ryan is our listener who's a trucker who sent in a very compelling but also disgusting story about the time he was stuck on the road having to go very, very, very, very, very, very bad. And I believe his truck was maybe even broke down.

Yeah, unlike Snoqualmie Pass or something.

Yeah, in the snow. And so he found a box in the back of his truck, and he emptied the tools or whatnot out of it. And now he doesn't like to go anywhere without a box in case the urge hits him again.

And Erica apparently has one, too. What a lucky lady.

I like to picture Erica pooping in a hot dog outfit. They got a flap on the back of those, don't they? I'm sorry. What a terrible thing to say on this. My Erica's Blursday. Sorry, Erica. Rose in Phoenix says, Happy Blur's Day to my TBTL progenitor, Abby in Phoenix. Pandemic Blur's Day number two is in the books. I love you, and thank you, Luke and Andrew, for being my imaginary friends. Thanks, Rose. Happy Blur's Day, Abby.

Rachel says, I want to wish a happy birthday to my BFF, Andrew. I value your friendship so much, and I'm so grateful you are my non-romantic, non-cohabitating, non-sexual, for now, life partner.

She does not say for now. I love you. It does not say for now. Happy birthday. Do you see what happens? You've backed the listeners into such a corner that they have to make it so clear that they're not in romantic relationships with these folks.

And then none of us know what tomorrow will bring.

And now you're changing their message on them? This is not fair.

Happy Blur's Day, Andrew, from Rachel, your non-romantic, non-cohabitating, non-sexual life partner.

Oh, I got another Blur's Day for an Andrew here. I don't know if it's the same Andrew or not, but it says, Hello, this is Buka wishing my buddy Andrew another medium birthday while in week four of my Andrew Inspiration road trip. I'm doing all of Andrew's favorite things, such as national parks, camping, hiking, hanging with our buddy Josh, drinking tea, and silently judging people from afar. Hopefully, we'll see you in a couple of months for some in-person adventuring. Happy Blurs Day, Andrew.

Oh, look at this. Well, would you looky here. It's Cheryl in Corvallis. Happy 8th Blurs Day to our sweet daughter, Irene. We're so proud of all the growing and learning she's done this past year, especially through so many challenges. She's an amazing student, a great.

horseback rider, and a loving and kind person. You're a rock star, kiddo. We love you. Signed, Mom, Dad, and Big Brother Julian. Nice.

Cute. I sincerely hope that Irene got a hot dog outfit for her Blur's Day. Our buddy Kelly New York says happy 40th Blur's Day to Jen. Hey, that's our buddy in D.C. I can't believe we haven't been able to see each other in over a year. I miss having Friday in the middle of the week drinks with you and Steve and I hope we can get the washing tens back together this summer. You've been such a wonderful friend and confidant over the years. I'm so grateful that this quirky show brought us together. Are we quirky? I thought we were straight forward news show. I'd take quirky.

Manic quirky dream pod? I will take, because quirky, we all love quirky. Quirky's fun. Quirky is like, you never know what they're going to say. Right I mean I consider that a compliment actually

I just always thought of us as a more just kind of again Like straightforward journalism outfit But I'll take a quirky I guess

Yeah The birthday messages just keep rolling in for Jen Yeah This is one from Barbara I was lucky enough to meet Jen in real life Back when she was at Bay Area 10 Then she moved to Virginia And we kept in touch She's an awesome Twitter follow And a great person Funny, wry, warm, smart, and compassionate Happy birthday, my fellow 10 friend. I hope Ash does decide to replace all the alcohol you drank during the pandemic for your birthday gift. Okay. I'm going to figure that's an offline conversation they've been having.

Yeah, so a lot of alcohol has been drunk, I'm assuming, in Jen's house. The question is, will Ash replace it or not? And who's Ash? Who knows?

Yeah, no, we're dealing with incomplete information here.

But happy Blur's Day, Jen. Get out of it, Ash. Also, Ash, I could probably use some booze. Melia in Wenatchee, Washington says, Happy Blur's Day to my longest-running co-sist, my real-life sister, Christina. She moved in with me many years ago, and we thought we'd grow old as maiden aunts. But she stepped up her ante game when I adopted three boys through foster care. Hey, congratulations. Holy moly. She loves the kids and the dogs, Lemon and Saffron, and keeps this crazy train from running off the tracks. We'd be lost without you. Happy Blur's Day, Christina.

That's amazing. That's really amazing. What a couple of cool gals.

Yeah. I realize I keep on... Sorry, listeners, you're not noticing this, Luke, but I keep on trying to use my other hand here, and what's happening is while I'm using my forefinger to swell the music, My splint is accidentally keeps on knocking your fader up. And so you keep on getting louder and louder. So I know you're not noticing that, but my apologies to the listeners.

Well, also part of the problem is I am talking louder.

You're messing with me.

So that's adding to the confusion.

Well, just so long as nobody messes with my...

Lauren and Langley. Lauren Langley and Puddle, that is. Got confused because there is a Langley Washington. Oh, yeah. Sorry, there should be a comment there. That's Lauren, Langley, and Puddle. Reno Puddle. Yeah.

Very human.

Lauren Langley and Puddle say, Happy Blur's Day to Michael. We love you and hope you have a great 37th birthday. Aww. Langley wants you to know that she hopes you have a good birthday and that she loves playing video games with you, and Puddle thinks that playing rock, paper, scissors is really fun with you. So thank you for all that you do for us. Puddle, piece of advice, just go rock Just stay rock Oh, no No, no, no, paper If I told you, Andrew, if we were doing rock, paper, scissor And I told you, I'm just going to do rock Your first thing to think would be Okay, I'm going to do paper But then you'd be like, is he lying to me

I used to go around and say I will I will do one round of rock, paper, scissors With you, and I will beat you And no redos And I always went paper first, and I always won because people always go rock first. That's a great point. Because it's satisfying to throw a rock. And it's very unsatisfying to throw a paper now. I mean, literally and figuratively. Yeah, right. Exactly. So now I say go paper.

That's an amazing strategy. But see, now think about this. If you and I ever have to do rock, paper, scissor, or with Puddle even, now Puddle knows that your strategy is to go paper. So Puddle is going to be tempted to go scissors. But are you going to stay with paper, or was this just a head fake?

Puddle should go with water Because Puddle's name is Puddle Although water isn't in there

Water wets paper Rust scissor

Yes and you gotta get fire in there too When you were a kid did you expand rock paper scissors

I never liked it when kids did that sometimes someone would do dynamite.

Oh, right. Like, nothing is dynamite. Out of here with that. Yeah.

I know, exactly. It's like, thanks a lot, Todd Staley. All right. Who's up? Actually, this one's you. I can't remember. This is you.

Anna in Greenwood here in Seattle, the Greenwood neighborhood. I'd like to wish myself a happy Blurs Day. This will be my last year in my 40s, so I need to blurs it up, right? Sure. And I started listening last year. Oh, hey, new listener. I was amazed that I hadn't started earlier once I heard drops from Mr. Show, The Jerk, Saxondale, and I heard what wonderful people you two are. Hey, thanks. This feels like my Blur's Day. Thanks for being my imaginary friends during the last lonely year, and thanks to the—oh, I read that kind of funny. Like, that was the last lonely year we'll have, but I think the last year, which was lonely. Really doing a good job here. And thanks to the Slack community of tens. Happy Blur's Day, Anna.

I like that part of what made the show appeal to Anna initially was the drops, because I swear to God, that's often the best part of the show.

Yeah, because it's not us.

I agree. The thing I'm most excited about is when we have a real, like today, a really fun intro that you put together, or if I have a couple drops that I have dug up from TikTok or something that I'm excited to play, the drops are like, and you and I will just say things, like from Saxondale. we'll just start talking about you know if it's better to let it out as one tremendous rattle like we just love those drops yeah so I love that Anna loves those drops anger

I can only do a one word like flatulence

wow that was terrible your anger was good but it was a one word my flatulence was I mean me saying flatulence everything's fine here okay Julie says I would like to wish a fantastic blurs day to my cousin sam in berlin well la ti da we have listeners in berlin while on a pre-covid visit to me in france i accidentally exposed him to tbtl it sounds like he then had to quarantine apparently for 14 days after after being exposed um uh to my great delight after that brief window into TVTL weirdness, he decided to check you out and is now hooked. It's so much fun having a 10 in the family. Have a great one. Sam signed Julie. Oh, that's just wonderful. That's great. You'll love to hear it. Hey, Sam, send us an update from Berlin, man. How are things going there? I have never been to Berlin, but I have heard it's quite the place. It seems to be where a tremendous amount of creativity is popping off these days.

Now, it could be Berlin, New Hampshire up in the north country, But I'm going to assume not

Well yeah While visiting me in France Right But that could have been France Rhode Island The upper valley Sure Sure

Alright and finally Nick says Greetings and happy Blurs Day to my wife Ashley Who is dressed up in a hot dog suit right now A long time listener Which makes me a second hand listener Her birthday is tomorrow And it would tickle her pink To get a shout out on the show I'm counting on you Wow To do the right thing Alright Nick I hope I did. Happy Blurs Day, Ashley. Yay. Blurs Day, everybody. Yay. All right. So are we going to go out with that song that I was playing earlier, the Sometimes When We Touch? Sure. I did just add that to my Didn't We Almost Have It All playlist, which is mostly just kind of a playlist of mostly 80s era kind of schmaltzy songs, frankly.

I say this fairly regularly on the show, Andrew, but one of the things that I really appreciate about you is I can never quite pin down what music you're going to get really into, and your Didn't We Almost Have It All phase. Yeah, that's a weird one. That came out of absolute left field, considering you also love Pavement and all manner of very cool music and De La. but yeah that was I mean are you gonna are you considering going back going back into that for the summer is that a summer playlist for you where does that fit into your year you know I

and yeah that's that surprised me as well I was never a Whitney Houston person at all but it was just like I was going through a weird time in Los Angeles I had only been there for a couple of months I was staying in this Airbnb that was very strange and awkward for me like a French roommate Yeah. From France, Rhode Island? It was her. Exactly. She was a French quahog. And anyway, so it was just a very weird time for me. And I remember I went out with a friend for New Year's Eve, but we didn't stay out late. I was home by like 1030 with probably like a half rack of beer and some probably cold cup. that I could keep in my room or some summer sausage or something. I don't know what. I sat down behind my little computer. Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo? And I don't remember why that song came on, but didn't we almost have it all came on? And I listened to it on repeat the rest of that New Year's Eve evening. And then I built a playlist from there that has some Bonnie Tyler on there. The thing is, like, I'm not even a karaoke person. If you were to look at this, you'd be like, oh, this is a person who has all these songs because he loves belting it out at karaoke, right? Must have been Love by Roxette. That's not really 80s. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. These are all kind of, like, I love these songs, but, like, yeah, my love of Didn't We Almost Had It All, Have It All kind of, I don't know, brought these other, it kind of sucked these other songs into this playlist.

Hmm. Well, why don't we put this one on there, too? I just did. Yeah. So what's the guy's name? Dan, whatnot? Dan Hill. Dan Hill. All right. That's how we'll wrap things up today. Boy, it's Thursday, which, hold on, let me check. That means tomorrow's Friday. So we'll wrap the week up tomorrow. We're back here with more Imaginary Radio. Please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Thursday. Stay safe. Go Mariners. Take care of each other. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. I love you.

And I choke on my reply. I'd rather hurt you honestly That mislead you with a lie And who am I to judge you On what you say or do I'm only just beginning To see the real you And sometimes when we touch The honest days to imagine And I have to close my eyes and hide I want to hold you till I die Till we both break down and cry I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides Romance and all its strategy Leaves me battling with my pride But through the insecurity

Power out