Muse

So it was a good movie. I mean, it wasn't a great movie, but how often do you see a great movie? Oh, I saw a great movie last night. Yeah, it was on the late show. It was, um, uh, oh, what was it called? It's a classic. It's a real, it's a classic. It's, um, uh, oh, I hate this. I hate it when this happens. What was it about? Uh, it's about this, uh, newspaper tycoon, and he's dead, and everybody's telling stories about him, and it was... It's Citizen Kane. No, that's not it. No, no, no, no, but it's something like that. It's, uh, it's, um, uh... Okay, who was in it? Orson Welles is in it. And this is Citizen Kane. It's Citizen Kane. No, that isn't it. That isn't it. But you're not far from it. It's, uh... Who else was in it? Oh, um, uh, I don't know. Was Joseph Codden in it? What else has he been in? The Third Man, The Magnificent Amberson. Oh, The Magnificent Amberson. Yes, yes, yes, he was in it. Yes, oh, that's one of my favorite Orson Welles movies. Well, this is definitely Citizen Kane, then. You're talking about Citizen Kane. No, no, no. But it's something like that. It's Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid, Sid

We're right in the thick of the action.

I value confidentiality, and paradoxically, I don't care who knows it.

I cannot believe this stuff is on the radio. Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome to a Thursday edition of TBTL. Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo? The show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. you're still doing a podcast coming to you from the nest broadcast center high in the sky above portland oregon bring it back home baby bring it back home had a wonderful time in ontario oregon spent some some times in the marijuana district there that i'll never forget but it is nice to be back home the comfortable confines of the yard apartment complex excited to bring you episode 3,417 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. I paused there for a moment because I thought, do I want to, do I give the actual name of this building I live in? And then I realized people have been regularly mailing me things here, like listeners. So it's not a well-kept secret. So anyway, that's where I'm at. This is what we're doing on 3, 4, 1, 7 in a collector's series. We're telling you about this town in Japan that's in a bit of hot water because they got COVID stimulus money from the federal agency, whatever agency in Japan handles that, and they used their COVID stimulus money to build a giant statue of a squid. Sounds expensive. Now people are like, that was not the best use of that money. I actually don't necessarily disagree with the decision to build this giant squid. We'll tell you about it coming up in a moment. And also, the New York Times has found three people who did something. So you know what that means. Trend piece. What they have found is that some people, up to three people, have been bathing less during the pandemic.

I dropped a stake in the bathwater. Son of Tatum O'Neill.

And they say they are not going back to the old ways of constant daily showering and bathing. And so the New York Times says that that's the thing. Fewer people are going to be taking showers and baths after the pandemic. We will look into the data on that coming up. Also, we will continue our journey to try to figure out the most memorable, amazing moment in TBTL history.

Hey, want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

As the TBTL drops of stupider, the deuce rolls on. This is round two of the competition. play you some tape, and see what you all voted into the next round as some of the best moments in the history of this program. Oh, and it's a Thursday, a.k.a. a Blur's Day, so of course we've got the Blur's Day messages. We've got all that, plus we've got this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show. He could be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. And boy, speaking of people cutting back on their showers, I don't think we're going to ever bring this guy around on that way of thinking.

I am grimy, I am slimy, I need a shower, and I'm in the middle of a garbage situation.

He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. want to give away the farm here we'll wait for it we'll wait for the proper part of the show but be surprised earlier this week i believe i went over two days without taking it whoa yeah is that because of the finger it's because of the broken finger which by the way and i'm really

fingers you know let's just let's be i mean i know what you mean the finger that you had surgery on is the specific issue but let's just let's not let's not elide the fact that you have two broken

fingers yeah or i guess fractured the pinky but the other one is jacked up i am i am i am trying to make a conscious effort not to make this show just me whining about the finger because i feel like as injuries go there are there's like one or two worse things that can happen to a person maybe three um but i saw i saw it yesterday luke for the first time it was unsettling i you know I showed it. I saw Camaro Kev yesterday. I showed it to him. Now, he's a man who can, you know, he watches the punching fights. He sees some pretty gnarly stuff. He's a kickboxer himself. So, you know, he's seen some gnarly stuff in his day. I think he's got a pretty strong stomach for stuff.

You're a gross person.

But so I knew it wouldn't faze him too much. And I don't think it would faze. I don't know how much it would really faze anybody. I can send you a picture if you want. But let me try to describe what we're talking about here. Because I had surgery on Friday, right? And I knew that they had put some screws and pins and wires and stuff in my finger, but I didn't know exactly what because they wrapped it in gauze and told me, don't take this off. The power of God compels you not take this off.

Whatever you do, this is the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. If you open this thing, a German guy's face melts off.

I don't even know what I was saying there. The power of God compels you. And also, isn't it the power of Christ compels you? I messed up a lot there.

From The Exorcist, right? Yes. Another movie. I was just saying this the other day. Another movie I've never seen, but I feel like I could give you the broad strokes on The Exorcist. Yeah, because. That's probably like George. Is it George C. Scott probably yelling that maybe? I don't know. Anyway, keep going.

Oh. You know, we were trying to think of George C. Scott's name last night. Genevieve couldn't think of his name when we were talking about Patton. I don't think that's him in there, or if so, I'm just surprised.

No, I think it's probably. Is it Max von Sydow?

Ooh, I don't know who that is. Is that somebody from Hogan's Heroes? Hogan! Anyway, so, again, I'm in this place where I don't want to overplay this thing too much, but it was shocking to me. So I have my first appointment, and it's not even with my doctor. It's with a physical therapist after my surgery. This is my first appointment after the surgery, and it was yesterday.

Can I interject one thing? When you told me that the other day, I was surprised because I thought if I had a finger that was surgically repaired, I don't want to do any physical therapy on it, please. You don't want to do any more work. What, are you going to lift a tiny, like, weight with your broken finger? Like, can we let this thing work itself out and then we'll get into the PT?

Well, that's, well, apparently not. And actually, they're a little concerned. Like, he's especially concerned about the pinky. He's like, it's getting no movement and these things are stiffening up. And he wants me to start like kind of I have to sort of start manually taking my because I can't really bend it. And he's like, your fingers won't move anymore.

Like you need to think about how great your tea drinking game will be. Yeah, right. If that pinky is just shot out like at a weird angle. But like when you drink your tea, people will be like, that guy's fancy.

Exactly. Or potentially both of them. In fact, Kamara Kev was talking about you want to put things in perspective. He was talking about his grandfather who was a logger. and he was putting a choke chain on a tree stump or like on a log so it could be pulled away and his finger got caught in the chain. Sorry, everybody. And the chain goes taut and his finger was caught in there. Actually, I won't go on with that story.

Was that the D-man's dad? Or was that Pat's dad? Do you remember if it was his maternal or paternal grandfather?

I don't remember, but he said that whenever he made a fist from that time forward, his ring finger would only bend at the first knuckle and then go straight all the way down and he said his the the top knuckle all the wrinkles in the hand went away and it just became smooth because it never moved so sure anyway uh i'm in the office yesterday he's like yeah we got to start getting that pinky moving um and also like let's take a look at he's like i'm gonna cut your bandage off i'm like okay well i'm not i'm not gonna look i'm squeamish about this stuff he's like well you're gonna have to look like we need you to start cleaning this and i need you to start exercising this and with this device and i'm like okay because i wasn't sure if it was like a splint or something in fact it's been so stiff that every now and then you instinctively almost bend the finger a little bit and i thought that was bad because it kind of hurts you know um because i thought oh broken finger you need it to be in a splint and not moved but now it's been about two weeks and they're worried about me losing mobility forever and so it turns out that contraption that is on my finger it's a popsicle stick isn't it describe it to you it's a pop

unwrap it it's just it still has some cherry popsicle stains on you're like wow that's what

they're going with and here's the deal and this is the thing that really is the scariest part of this i can tell there's a joke on the popsicle stick but it's the part that goes right through

my finger so i can't know so time why did the man throw a clock right he wanted to see

it's t something yes yes right sorry i ruined your joke all right no so i don't have a splint it's not in fact what i have is this device i told you that i thought i had pins and needles sticking out of my hand but i didn't really know i could sort of feel it through the gauze but i didn't really know what we were dealing with what we're dealing with is and i can send you a picture later if you're interested luke but i'm yes i am on you um all right i'll try to do this now but what i do is i have what i do is what i have is a like a pin going all the way through my finger with little plastic like a little plastic um beads on either end of it uh through my kind of my top knuckle area and then another pin going you know vertically through my lower knuckle area all the way through and then those two things are connected by some wires so i sort of have this We were talking about exoskeletons the other day. It's almost like this weird exoskeleton joint with these two things that are going through my finger. But supposedly with this contraption, they want me to start moving it. And the contraption allows me to start moving this thing that, you know, kind of start curling my fingers so they don't get stuck. But looking at this thing upsets me. I don't like it. And then I'm leaving the office and he's like, and I said something like he cleaned it up and he puts more of this weird, like an oily gauze thing around the places where the pins are actually puncturing my skin. And then he doesn't put any more gauze around it. And I'm like, are you going to put gauze on? He's like, no, you're walking out of there like that. I want you to be exercising it. He's like, you can show all your friends what your finger looks like. I'm like, I don't want to show anybody this. I need gauze. I said to him, I said, listen, like I, and he was great, by the way. want to reiterate here every damn person i've met since this whole thing has happened has been really amazing i'm really glad that i kind of um there was a moment where i wasn't sure which organization i was going to go to to handle my handle my care and i'm really glad i went with them because they've been awesome um but i said listen i feel very vulnerable like maybe this is safe to walk out of here with this but i like i'm walking down the street now you should see me i look down at the i'm looking every time i see a curb i get this bad tingly feeling in my stomach like i'm walking down the street like shuffling because i'm scared i'm gonna fall i think i have some sort of weird ptsd going on i'm like i need you to wrap this thing up like i just can't have this thing hanging out in the wild at least not right now did you did i send you that photo yes

and i actually think it looks kind of awesome like i think this could become a fashion statement I mean, people pierce weirder parts of their body. It is. You got these two, like, it's kind of a cute, like, greenish-blue little balls hanging off of this contraption. Also, your finger looks way less jacked up than I expected. I don't mean it doesn't hurt, and I don't mean it's not broken, but it actually looked like a finger. I don't know what I expected it to look like.

You thought it was going to look like Kamara Kev's grandpa's finger?

No, or maybe just, like, something like that thing where there was always that friend, the one friend's dad who, when he cooked hot dogs, he cut them open lengthwise. Such a mistake. You're losing the snappy shit. I know. I never, I was always bummed when you're at someone's house and their dad was grilling up the dogs and he did that. Anyway, I thought that was going to be your finger. But, no, I mean, it looks like your finger, except swollen and with some wires running through it.

Yeah, yeah, but I don't like the idea of wires running through my finger. I don't know how long they're going to be in there, but I got to start. So right now, I still have the gauze on from yesterday, and I need to, at some point today, take that gauze off and then take those yellow strips that are kind of protecting the incision points off of the contraption and then clean it all up and then wrap it back up. And he had a hard time. The doctor did say, he's like, man, I guess you decided if you're going to break a finger, you're going to really do it the right way, by which I mean the wrong way. Like, what did you do? He's like, I haven't seen one of these things in a long time. Whoa. Talking about the contraption. I'm like, yeah. Oh. It was no. Yeah. Not fingers. Luckily, he has seen fingers recently because that's that's what he does. But anyway. Yeah. So I got to start dealing with this thing. And I got to say, I was pretty crabby yesterday coming home. Like, I don't know why I wasn't crabby at anybody or, you know, he was, again, really great. But I'm just the more this goes on, the more I am just so furious at myself for falling. And I know that it was just a mistake. Like I didn't do it on purpose. I wasn't I you know, I really should not have run to catch that bus. Like that is the thing that will all I wasn't on my way to a job interview. I wasn't on I wasn't even late for a movie or a. ball game i was having the most pleasant afternoon in the world and i had the only thing on my agenda was to go home and watch a mariner's game that started in about two hours and i was about you know 15 minutes away from home there was no need for me to catch that gd bus and now i will be dealing with this for quite some time if anything i think you've got a lawsuit against

that sneaker company yeah right because didn't you say like those shoes maybe they had a little more soul on them than you were used to they were just probably through your kind of calibration off

by just enough i mean i have i mean i'm filing lawsuits all over the place i'm suing the curb were you suing were you jaywalking i was totally jaywalking i was cutting across that's gonna be

we're gonna have to try to get that excluded from the trial yeah that's honestly that's our first big hurdle is to get that thrown out because i don't think that's relevant but that's up to the judge but no i think i think you've got a pretty solid case there i'm gonna sue the bus driver for

even letting me on the bus you shouldn't have done that there's a safety hazard i'm sure the

driver i'm suing the bus itself um a lot of lawsuits absolutely how about the city for putting that bus stop in a tantalizing place exactly as you emerge from the other uh mass transit system you saw the bus there i mean any reasonable person at that point will run for that bus that's right and you have to you have to account for that when you're when you're designing the the bus system in seattle so no i mean i think i think you've got actually a a series of

lawsuits that you could file oh yeah i'm working on it you know listener danny in new hampshire i know that she's uh a lawyer or yeah i'm pretty sure she's a lawyer so um maybe she can help me out with some of the i don't know just like some of the paperwork on this stuff but i clearly i've i've got the yeah definitely pro bono um but uh i've got more like pro bonehead

sorry i apologize um i uh i had one i made one deal with myself today andrew i made there was one thing that i said this is a this is important luke that you you don't talk about this one topic today for a couple of reasons one i know you're bored with my twitter stories that's fair two there's no reason to be there's no reason to be snarky but I put a little silly joke tweet out today that well first of all I guess I want to clarify that it's I was a little worried it would read as I was thirstily trying to let people know my birthday was coming up but I really wasn't I believe it or not for all for being a attention seeker like I am my birthday is not the particular day for that for me I just don't I just don't care that much but I wrote a silly tweet that said I'm turning 45 this week And I said, and it's crazy because you blink and a quarter of your life is over. And it's like the joke there being I'm going to live to 180. That's the point of that joke.

Yeah. It took me a split second, but I like it. Right.

I'm not. It's not going to, you know, I'm not going to win a Mark Twain prize for that joke. But whatever. The joke is about me thinking I'm going to live to be 180. That is. That's the. That's under under. That's what underlies. Wow. That's not how you describe that. Anyway, point is, a person who I once worked with in the world of comedy, who no longer works in that world of comedy with me, totally misread, who at many times was not the best at reading the joke or the room, which made the comedy part ironic, completely misread, misunderstood my tweet. and was like basically took it for i was being like kind of dark or negative or like bringing everyone down with talking about you know god life goes by so fast and i looked at the tweet and i thought oh that's very on brand that's why that's why you don't work in comedy with me anymore because like a complete misreading of the situation um and i told myself today on my jog i I was like, don't bring that up. It doesn't matter. And then I just brought it up.

I have been looking at the comments, and I think I know who you're talking about. But if I know who you're talking about, I didn't realize that you guys worked together in comedy. But I'm just in this awkward place where I can't really talk about this.

No, I know. You're trying to be. I shouldn't have brought up. But I'm just a catty little bitch who lives for the drama, Andrew. Let me ask you this. Has he ever been on the sports?

hmm i don't know what sports is i'm actually i'm making uh well that was a terrible joke um i was i can't remember the name of the sports show that used to be on npr so i was trying to call it on the media only on the sport oh it was the um yeah uh swing and a miss uh only a game only it's only a game yes has he ever been associated with maybe that's definitely possible okay it was

such a minor thing i just thought it was funny that a person who i've known for years and who Many times I have been in a situation where I'm with where I'm thinking, boy, are you ever not reading this joke? the way everyone else is then pops up in my life misreading a joke and I'm just like yeah okay well like let's here's full marks for consistency yeah there is there's something frustrating about that I've um and again I and I don't I don't want to I put you in an impossible no no no you haven't

what I'm doing is I'm making the position even more impossible because I don't want to say anything negative about our listeners but there have been no I just went through a whole bunch Of email today and you know what All of our listeners are jerks No no obviously we always Get incredibly sweet sweet emails From people and everybody knows how fragile we Are so even when somebody does try to like as We say sharp shoot us like they're so gentle And I love them and they're all lovely people Mostly But Today I went through About two or three days of email because We've been on a weird schedule this week And there were just several emails In there I'm not even going to mention what the topics where there were several emails on about two different topics where people were sort of, like, informing us on something that they thought we didn't get based on conversations that we'd had. You know, like we were being maybe somewhat critical of something and then people were trying to explain it to us, but it was very clear that, like, no, no, no, we were starting from that place. We understood that. We know that. And there is something kind of frustrating when somebody is kind of correcting you But missing the and just assuming that you're missing the larger point, which in these cases, you just have to trust us. We were not.

Yeah, we miss a lot of the we miss the larger point a lot of the time. But there are some times where we're in on what's going on. And either we're playing dumb or we're trying to make a joke that's premised on the fact that we do understand what I actually have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, yeah, no, but I share your outrage.

Yeah, no. And again, it's not importantly. Yeah, I am outrage. I'm just so – no, and that's why I'm being so, like, gentle with this because nobody did anything wrong. I'm not outraged. I just got a couple of emails sort of, you know, explaining something to us. You're kind of like, yeah, we know that. Like it just – it's a frustrating place to be in sometimes. But, no, it wasn't upsetting at all. I was just kind of like, okay.

Well, here was one. And this – okay. You were being very delicate. So even you may not know what you're talking about at this point, which is good. You obscured it. I'm going to do something that's less obscured, but I – it's funny to me sometimes to try to understand the experience of our listeners because they are the dearest – I'm about to do some donors of the day, some dazzling donors I should say, and they're just the dearest – our listeners in general as a group are the most wonderful people I have ever met. And I say that like full stop. But then the next sentence after the full stop is sometimes it's interesting for me to try to kind of climb into their experience with what they think our media consumption is like or what we're doing on a day-to-day basis. Because somebody tweeted to me very earnestly and with good intentions. I would say four to five days after Shock G died, they sent me the link from the New York Times obit and said like something to the effect of like, I'm not sure if you saw this. And it was interesting to me to just think, to wonder if that listener, again, who sent that with just absolutely the best intentions, it would have been very odd if I would not have known that Shaqji had died for four to five days. Considering my history of being obsessed with that band, considering that it was really big news, it happened on a week that was a relatively slow news week. boy aren't those nice isn't it i mean we're in the midst of a pandemic but isn't it nice to get back to the occasional slow news week yeah right yeah god i've missed that i've missed just absolute non-essential stories catching a bunch of wind because we're not worried if we're going to war with someone at all times but anyway um i just was interesting to me to see that tweet because i thought again it's just i just wonder how how it would be that i wouldn't have seen that story but again i want to say it's sent with with love and with you know the intention of just like hipping us to something so there's not there's nothing wrong with it it's just i wonder sometimes about how the listeners sort of think of us and think of what we get what we don't get what we're

reading what we're not reading all that stuff yeah and let me and let me just again say to the listener you know to the listeners who wrote in to say hey when you were critiquing this thing

i think you were missing you you don't feel comfortable telling me what we were i don't

really i honestly don't want to make anybody feel bad but and it's fair i'm thinking of one in particular but i know that i just happened to see several today and again nothing nothing bad at all but just kind of starting from like well you guys it's it's this is the deal like okay yeah we knew that we were just we just that was established we understood that but um oh shoot what was i going to say uh i can't remember i'll cut this all out i before i started um

saying that i didn't want to tell you what it is cut can you can you start to cut with the part where i cleared my throat and thought my mic was muted you you didn't i didn't hear it oh good Because I pressed down my mute button Did a real

not like a real you're a gross person throat clearing and then went to unmute my mic and look down and the mic appeared to have never been muted at any point oh no it was muted but i did

remember i was going to say and again not to belabor this but i just thanks i just want to get back to it the the thing that i want to acknowledge in me saying this thing that might sound a little i don't know snotty is i get so much shit wrong why would i assume that you know that i know the basis of this other thing if that makes sense right you're writing in to say hey i think you're missing the point here it's like no i understand that that was the point we were you know on the we're in the next phase of the conversation but why would i at all feel snotty about that if i get so much shit wrong like every day like just legitimately wrong i saw somebody was gently teasing me because i kept calling it a surgery room instead of an operating room the other day which i was like oh yeah i guess there is a name for that they don't go you don't go into the surgery room so you were talking about the listener experience like yeah it makes sense for you to call it write in or call in and maybe explain something to us because there's tons of shit that i get wrong all the time that i don't know so i can't get on my high horse in the in the one case when you're correcting me about something that i already knew we have a really

long and and and very um consistent track record of being wrong about things so yeah i guess it shouldn't be mysterious to us when the listeners want to kind of clarify something for us considering how often we don't know what we're talking about. All right, let us take a quick break, and then when we come back we've got these top stories, we've got these Dazzling Donors, and Drops of Stupider round two. So stay with us. This is TBTL.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dazzle.

Let's thank some Dazzling Donors. Wonderful, generous, amazing, kind, never sending us a gently correcting email when two will do. These are some folks who are just absolutely essential to the survival of this program. And we want to thank them, and we want to give them a little time to submit any kind of message that they care to. The first Dazzling Donor I want to thank today is none other than Elisa Moylanan-Potts, who says, no pronouncer, as in Lisa does not want to tell us how to pronounce her name. She said, it's more fun when you mess it up. I'm glad that gives you joy, Lisa. I don't know if it gives joy to all of the listeners and dazzling donors and people whose names we regularly mess up, but I'm glad it's a fun game for you.

I'm wondering, so Lisa spells her first name with two I's, but I assume that it's, but I've met Lisa before. I'm pretty sure that's pronounced Lisa.

Yeah.

Traditional pronouncer. Potts, P-O-T-T-S. So it must be the Moy – yeah, that's the part. But I don't think it can be anything other than Moylanin. Moylanin, yes. I just got tongue-tied for a second. Moylanin. So I'm just wondering if we've butchered that in the past, how that – I'm sure I have. I'm sure.

But, again, that's what's fun for Lisa. So, in a way, we're super-serving our P1s with that.

Is there a chance that Lisa is like, Lisa, did you make those sounds with your body?

Oh, that's probably what I've been getting wrong. I've been focusing on the second of her last names, or the first of her two last names, but it's more the first name. Lisa says, I don't know what to say this year except keep doing great things, everybody. Take care of each other. I donate. Not because it's a good financial decision. All right, Lisa, simmer down. Let's get real. But because TVTL in the 10s community is amazing, and I appreciate the joy, support, phone throwing, and camaraderie. Thanks to Luke and Andrew for being your authentic selves. Yeah, we are authentically people who get a lot of stuff wrong and then get mad when the listeners gently try to correct us. That's our authentic selves, Lisa. And also being patient with our 10 shenanigans. Every day is better with you all in it. Power out for at least 5,000 more episodes. hey, will you play Lucas with the lid off to go out? I love that song. What do you think? Can we do that?

I love that song so much, yeah.

I think I got an email from Lisa this morning pointing something out, which is she bought tickets to see Fran Leibovitz here in Portland in, I think I want to say February. And I'm hosting that, actually. So it'll be me and Fran Leibovitz. And Lisa was excited because she bought the tickets for Fran and then realized there was also going to be a little bit of vitamin B.

Where is that? That must be exciting for you. You're meeting all your heroes.

I know. It's at the Schnitz here, the Arlene Schnitzer Hall. It's kind of like the, you know, Paramount Theater.

of down here nice nice so yeah so if you're what do you mind if i ask what's the organization how did you um i'm just interested in this because i know you're just such a huge fan and she looms so so large for you uh how did you end up getting hooked up with this or am i asking improper

questions that you don't want to talk about on a podcast no you're not um asking improper questions uh it's just her tour she's going to be going all over the country i believe and her speaking agent reached out to me because I guess they asked around and they said like who's in Portland who might be I guess her deal is that she will have some local person some local media type interview her on stage for a while and then this is the part that that was interesting they were like you interview her on stage for 30 minutes then you leave the stage and then it's a Q&A with Fran and the audience and I was like okay she manages her own Q&A I

could see her enjoying like it's almost like she doesn't want some like it's part of the fun is probably some of the she probably doesn't call it this but like the audience work yeah aspect of it the crowd work aspect of it so she doesn't need and it's you there to like kind of be a traffic cop she'd rather just kind of like do it herself i appreciate that and see that and she's really

good at that too so that's fun and and yeah it's like honestly like if i bought a ticket to see fran lebowitz i would want as little of vitamin b involved in there as possible no joke and i don't i don't that doesn't hurt my feelings like i understand that so yeah but i will be kind of kicking things off and chatting with her and then making myself scarce which is when the real fun begins but um the thing that's kind of interesting is she is repped by this this particular agency that reps all of the heavy hitters in the world that i would like to be a heavy hitter in like this is the person who reps sedaris they rep ira glass like this is the speaking agency for let me just put it this way at no time has this agency written a speech for ira glass called how to be unreasonable during unreasonable times this is the like premier agency that handles this kind of stuff for a certain kind of public radio or writerly kind of individual and i i'm under the impression that it is a very um uh it's a very respected agency and they were able to get very lucrative events for their clients um and so when the dude who runs the agency reached out to me i was just of course my mind immediately went to how do i make such an impression during this event that this guy then wants to start repping me and i came came up with it i'm gonna ride out on one of those one wheel devices that everybody in portland all the tech bros are riding around

constantly yeah yeah yeah i see a lot of those and but i'm gonna be dressed like that kind of

neon green singlet that sasha baron cohen will wear sometimes as as borat or as bruno i forget which character but you know what i'm talking about yeah it's very revealing right but but but also covering up you know yeah like the most important parts so that on that single wheel device that's how i'm going to enter the stage at the schnitz and um i'll wait for the gigs to start rolling in when the stephen barkley agency starts repping me when you saw that agency come

up on your phone was your initial reaction oh good this is about my book and then you were like no because the subject

line said Fran Lebowitz

oh well that's still an exciting subject line man no I was I was I was happy

I was happy to be thought of for that so anyway I'm excited about that I'm excited to see listener Lisa there if you're you know if you live in this area and you want to see you want to see Fran Lebowitz in 30 minutes and you want to see me in that unitard or whatever you call that that outfit um you know we'll see on february the 16th i think is when it is so all right and lisa for real though thank you so much for the donation we appreciate you um and uh couldn't do this without

you maestro on your mark on your mark get set get set now ready ready go everybody rattle

oh we got to thank matthew lang in seattle washington I feel like there's a 90% chance Camaro Kev's grandpa Who had the busted finger called it Washington

I think there's a pretty good chance of that

Like I bet if I texted Camaro Kev right now And just said that grandpa Washington or Washington It's a Washington Gotta be Matthew is in Seattle, Washington He says hello to my two imaginary friendos Luke and Andrew I want to take my minute or two to thank you both for helping me through the craziness that was this last year. Being able to count on you both to, all right, okay, molest my ear holes five days a week really got me through a couple of jams.

My, I pre-read these. Somehow I must have been skimming that one because that would have just been replaced by a long beep sound. Well, just beep it out. Yeah, do it in post.

What is the policy? I mean, Matthew's paid good money for this message. Do we, and then do we.

Do we owe him like $1.20? Whatever we've monetized each word in these messages to.

How do we prorate that? Yeah, exactly. We'll figure it out.

But anyway, Matthew likes us doing the show every day, I think is the takeaway. This has been a theme throughout the years as life brings its challenges and victories. There you and the 10s have been. So thank you for shooting the shite together and bringing the 10s along for the ride. It's usually a joy. Matthew writes, I kid, I kid. I want to most importantly thank my 11. If it weren't for you, Jenny, I truly don't think I would have made it past the first few weeks of the lockdown. Oh, that always makes me so happy to hear that people have grown closer to their partners in these unreasonable times. I think this is definitely a message That's best underscored by a siren Driving along Burnside Avenue

It's a love truck, man That's what you're hearing

Love truck, baby love truck

Hop in, have some love We're driving in the love truck

Because of you, this has been an amazing year We've both been able to spend so much time together Where without COVID, we wouldn't have I feel closer and more in love with you than ever. We make such a great team to fight the trials of life together. You are the love I've dreamt of, and I'm so thankful I get to call you my person. I love you, Jenny. Aw, Matthew. What a lovely message. Matthew says, every year I come up with a haiku based off the past year's TBTL. I'm sorry to say that this year there was no way I could dream of not making everyone suffer through yet another one. You got to, Matthew. This is the tradition. So without further ado Here is this year's haiku COVID It is hell Everyone Go get your shot No more virus Bye

I knew you were going to do the bye that way I was already hearing it in my head I love it

Thank you Power out So there you go What would this be probably I don't know Year four or something Of a haiku from listener Matthew Yeah that sounds about right Thanks for donating to the show And thanks for being part of this thing For all these years, we really appreciate you And also Jenny, who has not stood in the way Of you supporting TVTL That's another thing I mean, it's quite something To be the partner of somebody who really loves this show Because even if it's not for you It's going to, you're going to get A little bit of bleed over effect It's going to get into your life in one way or the other So thanks Jenny as well

It's going to bleed into your bank account too When you open that thing every month

Bleed out of your bank account.

Yeah, so we appreciate that as well, Jenny.

Yeah, thank you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. The New York Times has a piece about people not showering as much during the pandemic and also, I guess, not taking baths as much. This was written by, I've got it right here, Maria Kramer. the headline see fewer people take fewer showers they started off profiling someone named robin harper uh who lives on martha's vineyard and who grew up showering every day um as the coronavirus pandemic forced her indoors and away from the general public she started showering once a week the new practice felt environmentally virtuous practical and freeing and it has stuck don't get me wrong said ms harper age 43 who has returned to work i like showers but it's one thing off my plate i'm a mom i work full-time and it's one less thing i have to do uh this piece also profiles heather whaley a writer in connecticut um she says her shower use has fallen by 20 in the past year um she said after the pandemic forced her into lockdown she began thinking about why she was showering every day do i need to do i want to she said the act of taking a shower became less a matter of function and more a matter of doing something for myself that i enjoyed I thought that was interesting, Andrew, because I don't think you would disagree that your showering is more like the second shower for you in a day. If you do that is for your kind of sense of of well-being more so than you're covered in dirt and grime and you actually need to take a shower.

I mean, I would say that maybe even the first shower of the day. And again, I don't always take two showers a day, but I mean, sometimes I will like. So I shower every morning on most days. Like I said, this this past couple of weeks have been weird because I have to put a bag over my hand to prevent it from, you know, from my finger getting wet and everything. So that kind of takes the fun out of it. But, yeah, I mean, I think, you know, from a health standpoint and certainly from an environmental standpoint, like I don't think.

that i could really truly argue that my lifestyle demands that i take a shower every single day even let alone two on the times when i do that but the reason i'm doing it is yes it gets me clean but it's about the moment for me it's like that is where that is that is a happy place for me i mean it's it's warm and my glasses are off so i can't see anything it's just like my thinking time you know i don't know why i brought up the glasses thing but i don't know it's just like you go in

Just because it's sexier.

By the way.

You pull that pencil out of your hair that's just been up in that bun. You take your glasses off.

Now, I want everybody to know, I mean, if you are picturing this, I am fully clothed. I've never, I mean, I always take a shower fully, fully clothed. In fact, I dress up. I dress up to the shower, Luke.

Well, the thing is, you dress for the shower you want.

Exactly. And I want a tuxedo shower. And so that's why I have a tuxedo. You've never seen it, though, because it's my shower tuxedo. And sometimes if it's a more casual shower I just put on one of those t-shirts That looks like I'm wearing a tuxedo And the shower never knows

I wear one of those t-shirts that makes me look very buff That's what I wear in the shower

What we need to do is We need to double up on the t-shirts Wear the buff one underneath And then put the Tuxedo one over top And then when you take off your tuxedo shirt You see the buff bod underneath That's how you do it

Well, what about just a crossover event where it's the tuxedo, but then the buff chest under the tuxedo?

So you're kind of like, is it a V-neck tuxedo so you can see the buff chest underneath?

Well, it's like no shirt. So it's like tuxedo jacket.

Oh, okay. I see.

But then buff chest with the tuxedo jacket buttoned and the lapels and the whole thing, but then buff chest and ripped like six-pack under that. Very Chippendales.

Yes. And maybe even you could wear the cuffs We have, I'm not turning this

So it's a long sleeve t-shirt It's got the cuffs

Or a short sleeve t-shirt That comes with the cuffs

Is it too late to add this as a TBTL-a-thon Thank you gift to Andrew Because I think we may have stumbled upon something Long sleeve t-shirt that makes you look basically Like a Chippendales dancer So it's got like the buff arms printed on The cuffs, the sleeveless Tuxedo top and then the buff chest under the tuxedo.

Too buff to live, man. Yeah, man. That's our thing. But by the way, really quickly, I was just saying this to our friend Durs the other day. This is a thought I have every time I'm watching a Mariners game and we have this relief pitcher named Will Vest. I think Will is his first name. I might be messing it up. But like in my own private moment.

It's the oddest last name to me for some weird reason.

I always think that they should. I know that the uniforms have to follow a certain code, but it kills me that Will Vest doesn't have like a fake vest sort of like you know imprinted onto his shirt vis-a-vis one of these tuxedo shirts i just think that would be such a cool look like on his jersey he comes out there and he's got like a fake vest

on and that's his thing right well isn't it i want to say in major league i think charlie sheen's character uh who comes out to wild thing i think his character has ripped the sleeves off of his yeah i think you're right yeah yeah man and you know that he's i think he comes does he come out

to wild thing that song i haven't seen that documentary in so long i can't remember that

documentary i love it i wanted i i'm sure this came up last time on this subject but charlie sheen's character has the most ludicrous haircut which i totally wanted oh i can see you wanting Back of his hair is – imagine – think about a Mayan or like an Aztec temple that's kind of tiered. So it's like – it's sort of like a pyramid, but it doesn't – it's not – the sides are – it's more like levels, tiers. People can imagine what that looks like, an Aztec temple or a Mayan temple. It was that, but it was inverted, the back of his hair. So it would go like down a step and then in and then down a step and then in. It was ridiculous, and I was like, I got to get that, man.

You know, I remember it being wild, but I'm looking at it now. You did a good job of describing it, and I did not remember it in that great of detail. But everything I know about you in your stories of your youth, I can definitely see a young Luke Burbank wanting this haircut.

I couldn't get anybody at the Supercuts training center to pull off that hairstyle, so it never actually happened. But by the way, this is a part that I thought was kind of no joke, kind of interesting about this story was, well, first of all, when they're talking to this woman, Robin Harper, who lives on Martha's Vineyard, this is how she described her bathing these days. She's only showering once a week, she's only showering once a week, but she says she still uses deodorant and she does a daily wash of, quote, the parts that need to be done at the sink. She said that she's confident she's not offending anyone because she's a teacher. She said, the kids will. tell you if you don't smell good should three and four and five year old children will tell you the

truth yeah but by that point it's too late sorry were you about to say that well no i was going to

say well okay maybe one time it would be too late but she hasn't been getting that feedback from her students she works at a at a i believe a preschool and so i think her point is it's working but but what i thought was interesting was like oh yeah there is a world in which you don't have to shower every day but you can still wash the areas of your body that tend to get a little bit pungent and in fact they talked to this guy named donna chad mccarthy who is an environmentalist and writer in london this person's specialty is studying the rise of showering apparently daily showers are a fairly new phenomenon donna donna chad says um we but we had a bath once a week and we washed under and we washed under at the sink the rest of the week under our armpits and our privates that was it said mr mccarthy um and apparently this was his life when he was a young kid growing up he would take a bath once a week and then he would you know do kind of a what would you call it a sponge bath or something you'd kind of just wash the other parts and i thought you know that's kind of a good point like when i'm showering it's generally because i need to get some of the hot zones clean on my body but there are big parts of my body that do not need to be washed every day my forearms rarely get dirty my uh you know shins like i'm getting in the shower and hosing it all down really to hit like four areas my armpits and then a couple of other areas that i'll leave to the listeners imaginations actually don't imagine that get your minds out of the gutter your tuxedo area is what you're talking about my t-zone anyway i hadn't thought

about that that's what i have a problem with and i mean this is maybe you know people are different but for me there is nothing less pleasant than like the feeling of like trying to like stand outside the shower in front of your sink just like wiping down different parts of your body that are getting ununiformly wet and then you're like dry it's just like that feeling is terrible like on the occasions that I've had to do that whether you're camping or like as a kid every now and then and be like hey wash up just like you know do your pits in your face or like whatever like it's standing over a sink and washing that way is so uncomfortable for me and so not I mean I'd rather just like get in the shower get everything hot and steaming wet and one thing that I've been thinking about too is you know talking about putting a bag over my hand when i'm showering for the past couple of weeks now because of this finger thing um one thing that you notice is like there are just by standing in the shower there's a passive kind of cleaning that is going on as well like i still not to be gross and it's not gross there's just a little bit left but like on my actual pinky finger um that finger was really bloody when when i first fell right and over time i've been trying to at first it really hurt really bad too so i was like gently gently trying to clean it but there's still like a rim of like kind of dried blood on there and i've tried washing it with alcohol and soap you know several times in the sink very very very carefully but there's still like bits of you know evidence of my fall on my finger um my unbandaged finger that i know would be gone if i weren't bagging up my hand to take a shower every day it's just like that passive sort of cleaning that while you're washing other parts of your body everything is kind of getting soaked in the hot water and stuff is and it's just doing it's it's doing its deal you know it's doing it hot water is working its magic and like that to me is important as well like anybody who says i've kind of and again i'm not trying to say like i'm right about this i just completely do not understand the mindset of somebody who says i don't like it to take showers so my life hack is to stand outside the shower with a wet cloth and just like wipe down parts of my body like that just sounds so terrible to me well there is and i'm i hesitate to even bring

this up because lord knows my carbon footprint is well whatever shaquille o'neal's shoe size is that's my carbon footprint but you know an eight minute shower they point out in this article uses up to 17 gallons of water running water for even five minutes uses as much energy as running a 60 watt light bulb for 14 hours yeah so there is there is like some of the folks that are cited in this article mentioned that they're and they're also they all sound very nice and normal by the way none of them sound like they're getting they're on their high horses but they're all like yeah it kind of does make me feel like i'm being a little bit better to mother nature yeah yeah

can't argue with that for sure i mean if you're making a sacrifice for the greater good i understand that but for people who are just kind of like i don't like the feeling of showers um but i prefer this and again everybody likes what they like but that is what i can't get my hand in my head around

I also just assumed that everybody reeked like 150 years ago, but they probably didn't.

didn't have to i mean i don't know if deodorant had been invented but like obviously bathing was much more of an ordeal but if you if you were in the practice of getting a rag and of washing your nether regions and your armpits i mean i can imagine that well even with that i bet people still were pretty but then there's also this kind of thing where your body does start to bioregulate a little bit which is something that they point out on this article they talked to james hamblin who uh dr james hamblin who uh teaches at yale i love dr james hamblin he's a good follow on twitter except he looks like he's about 23 which just makes me feel like i've done nothing with my life but um he says the american obsession with cleaning began around the turn of the 20th century when people began moving into cities after the industrial revolution cities were dirtier so residents felt they had to wash more frequently and soap manufacturing became more common indoor plumbing also began to improve giving the middle class more access to running water so it sounds like when we were living in a agrarian society even though on one level it's sort of more dirty it's like dirt it's probably more just natural dirt grass sun creek water just kind of part of the lifestyle but then you move into a city and if you hear stories of like what like the bowery was like in new york you know and like the you know i don't know 1870s or something which just sounds like it was just squalor just everyone's just like throwing their garbage everywhere and remember the whole banana peel story and stuff like that so it was like people got into cities and all of a sudden they were just like gross like i was on a farm with just like my family and a lot of square footage and now i'm in a city with just people are vomiting everywhere because i got too drunk at mcsorley's gotta get this gotta get my

bath on you know i always think of that too even in in like kind of going back into old like you know pre-industrial ages i think of like i guess this is a product of my relationship with genevieve you know it turns out I like period based movies a lot more than I used to like I'm thinking right now that movie like The Favorite with Olivia Colman and I don't even know like what year you know that would it be was that I love that movie so much I cannot even it's so good isn't it yes I love it but you know and you see you know and everybody in those kind of period pieces are very you know they're very beautiful and they're well lit and you just you just it's just there's so much beauty so much natural beauty and then And then the homes these people live in, these menses. And in the back of my head, I'm often thinking, yeah, but you ain't got showers. That all stinks. Like I'm always thinking like that. And every now and then you'll even see them. You know, usually in a movie like that, you'll even – they'll nod towards how they are, you know, keeping clean. And you'll see them, you know, sponging off with a bowl or something or maybe a hot tub of water if you have servants filling that up, you know. But, you know, I'm just in the back of my head I'm thinking, yeah, but it was such a dirty This looks so beautiful, but if you live there It would seem so dirty to me If I was in a time machine going back

I mean, this country would not be What it is, for better or for worse I guess, if not For the founding fathers Being able to handle each other's stenches All the stories you hear about The writing of the Declaration of Independence And the Constitution, it's always just like A bunch of drunk guys with wigs locked in a very, very warm room somewhere in the mid-Atlantic just reeking.

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure nose blindness is a thing there, too. Right. Right? Like, you're also just used to things. I mean, that's my... We talked a little bit about this on Spotless recently. Like, I mean, that is just... That's what really lives in my head. I had never even thought of the term nose blindness until Febreze introduced it. I know. And this is one, though, I appreciate. And I appreciate it as an advertising concept. concept and i also just appreciate having a word for it but like i just live in constant constant paranoia that if you come into our house we smell like a house that has cats i mean we are a house that has cats and there are worse things now i think we've all your house does not smell like

you do not smell cats when you all of your like obsessive cleaning and and all the stuff that you've done it i will tell you this it works like i've never walked into your house and smelled

anything that smells malodorous well that's good to hear i mean i've asked people straight up i'm like i need you to be honest with me when you walk in here like what do you what do you smell and again i know we don't have a house that smells like we've all had that experience where you walk into somebody's house you know various parts of our life and you know you're they're living in a well i told you about my friend ian who was living in the shack without water and like three cats and

sleeping next to the litter he did wash his crotch though with a sponge each day so

doing what he could but like you know we've all known people you go to their house and it's like an overwhelming smell of cat box you know and you're like oh i know that we're not bad like that but when i you know when veves and i went on our road trip um you know a while back and we were gone for an entire week and we had somebody who was staying here somebody who was so meticulous by the way and I know that she was cleaning constantly and we came back to a meticulous home but when I walked in because my nose had gotten used to being away from home for a while I swear when I walked in I smelled hints of just I don't know a sort of organic smell like yeah this is a house with cats and that really bums me out I've always asked people and they they insist our house doesn't smell that way to them but also people are very polite you jumping in there and really um and really you know volunteering that makes me feel a little bit more confident in it but it's like i'm just so paranoid about nose blindness yeah no it's your your nose has 2020

vision your eyes may be moving ever closer to the legal definition of blindness but your nose is your nose is is still absolutely uh working as it should because you know your guys's house is

lovely and clean and does not smell like cats good there's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll you can't just listen to your soul just remember that life is number one you can be having so much fun just remember that life is much fun you can be Oh, we got a late-breaking Blur's Day.

Kevin, we're going to read you later on, but I just want to say you snuck in at the last minute, my friend. That's as close as it's ever come for a last minute.

Except you're really rewarding that kind of behavior. That's like when I'm the last person for the flight, and then they just like—or when I don't bring my ID to the cruise we're going on, and then you and Genevieve have to go break into Toon's house and then they let me and Carrie on the boat first. Oh, that's right.

Everybody was so mad at you.

Yeah, they walk onto the boat that we were not going to be allowed on. Like me, I was not going to be allowed on. I guess Carrie was going to skip it. I was like, you know, live your life. I want you to be happy. I'm gone now. I'll stay here in Long Beach. Carrie, you go on the cruise and find someone new. But no, that kind of behavior Where you send the thing in at the last minute And then not only do you get on the list But you get mentioned at the top of the Blur's Day

No, you know what? Hold on Deleted. Sorry, Kevin Sorry, Kevin. Not gonna happen Maybe it'll happen. I'll soften up later Let's start with Brett, though This is our buddy Brett in the U District here I saw him walking down the street one time Listener, Brett here, wishing my delightful And talented wife and TBTL Progenitor, Amy a happy blurs day you did a tremendous job managing the hardest parts of life in the midst of a pandemic Rockwell Mac and I love you and can't wait to wave you away for your quiet weekend at the Captain Whidbey soon

that Captain Whidbey quite a place Carrie actually used to work there and the places would recommend last

year almost exactly a year ago when we were doing the TB telethon from an Undisclosed location A lot of people were speculating That that's where we were But we were not

Ruby Says Oh this is interesting I feel like Susan was wishing Ruby A happy Blur's Day not long ago

Just last week yes

Now the tables have turned Wait that makes it sound like they're Adversaries Ruby says I want to wish a happy Blur's Day to my The Blurs Has Turned. How about that? Oh, How the Blurs Has Turned. To my TBTL daddy and actual mom, Susan, this is her first birthday since retiring in January. And I hope it's a relaxed and happy one. Have some cocktails and enjoy it. I love you, Mom, which is very sweet. From old Ruby. I think Ruby, if I remember right, for her birthday, was treating herself to some kind of a fun and safe international getaway. Yes. So she's back or at least she's near email access. That's right.

Brenda says, I have a Blur's Day shout out to my still best 10 friend, Amy. By the way, this is a different Amy than we were mentioning before. I can tell because it's spelled differently. I'm going to swell the music and cough for a little bit here. Okay. Oh, that was fun for everybody, wasn't it? Yeah, that was good. Even though Amy forgot to give me a birthday shout-out, I'd still like to make it known to all that her birthday is May 7th. Oh, wow. Brenda.

It's rare that you get the shade being thrown in the Blur's Day section. Amy. I love it.

Brenda working some things out in the Blur's Day section of TVTL. When he said that, that shocked me. Brenda says, we are also co-workers. She gives the best parenting and life advice. I definitely could not have survived work or parenting without her around these last almost 10 months. Please, Amy, remember my damn Blur's Day from now on. I made that last part up.

I thought that sentence was, again, she gives the best back rubs. And I was like, I don't know how HR feels about that.

Once again, using the Blurz day segment.

Hannah says, I want to send a Blurz day shout out to my big brother, Luke. Oh, that would be me. He doesn't like to make a huge deal.

I didn't even realize this was you. I'm such an idiot. This is your sister, Hannah. I was just like throwing these in the sheet earlier. Oh, how nice. Happy Blurz day, Luke.

We're in danger of the universe tearing the fabric of the universe here with me reading a Blurz day to myself from my sister. in the third person.

Do you want me to read it? How about, can I read this? Okay, you go ahead. No, it's your birthday.

No, it's just better to keep this in the family.

It's very sweet. This is one of my favorites. This is very, very sweet. I did have to cut a paragraph off of this one, though. I didn't realize it was your sister. Sorry, Hannah.

He doesn't like to make a huge deal of his birthday, but he always made a big deal of ours and gave us some great memories, like when I saved my allowance and bought him a set of jacks from Cregan's Pharmacy across the street for like 50 cents. How did I not know this was you?

Jesus Christ.

I know. And then when he had a child at 17, I remember thinking, what are the top three most referenced things about my life?

When he's introducing Fran Leibovitz in a yellow, in a green unitard.

I was only about six or so, so he was turning 13 or 14. He was not super interested in Jax, but he made it seem like it was the best birthday present ever. Aw, Hannah, thanks. Yeah, that was sweet. Thank you, Hanser. I love you and appreciate you.

She even signed it, Hanser, too, I think. But, again, I cut a whole graph not knowing this was a family affair.

Yes, this weekend I hit that big quarter-life mark, you know? Nice. How are you feeling about that? I'm having that whole quarter-life crisis, man.

Yeah, I know. Boy, always a ray of sunshine over there, aren't you, Luke? Bruce in Athens, Alabama. I was looking to see. I'm so sorry about this. I totally ruined your blurs day. I was looking. I'm going through my notes here looking for Hannah's original notes so I could read the whole thing because I can make an exception for you.

No, that's plenty. It was nice of Hannah, but also that's plenty of that subject.

She said some very, very nice things in her second graph. Bruce in Athens, Alabama. Our good, dear friend Bruce says, I'd like to wish a very happy 12th Blur's Day to my son, Andrew. They grow up so fast. 12th Blur's Day, Lou. Prom baby, right? Or am I mistaken? Yeah, right.

Twelve years ago, Bruce and his wife came to the TVTL prom and then went home and created Andrew. That's right. I believe they used some sort of magic, right? Yes.

In potions.

Special magic that happens when a mommy and daddy love each other very much.

Some incantations. Yeah, burn some incense. His musical obsessions continue to grow. He started with the Beatles, added some Queen and Billie Eilish. Lately, he's been into Bikini Kill and the Linda Lindas. so yeah he's way cooler than i am have a wonderful blurs day andrew power snout oh that's a good one

yeah power snout jennifer says i'd like to wish an extra special happy blurs day to my friendo who's a tendo don and to her 10 and half wife courtney who both share a blurs day on cinco de luco god there's so much to unpack from that sentence that might be the most tbtl Specific and layered sentence That's ever been read I don't even understand about 40% of it

And I want to make clear though that Courtney is not her half wife She's a 10 and a half meaning I guess she doesn't She's not quite to 10 levels of listening

She's her wife but she's Only at this point a 10 and a half Right okay They also have Their blurs day is on May 5th Which I guess we're now calling Cinco de Luca I love it Because I need more attention in my life And that one's on me, by the way, because we made a joke about that earlier this week. And then I said it on yesterday's show. So it's going to move up there with lawn chair Larry status. Last year I sent a Blur's Day message about how COVID had thwarted our plans to swoop it up on their rooftop deck. And though this year they're in new digs because of expanding family. Mazel. Assuming that means their family has been growing. We'll do the responsible thing and wait until the whole crew is fully vaccinated. Much love to you, friends.

Hey, this sounds familiar. Happy Cinco de Lucco. Love you guys. That's from Carolyn. I don't think that that is a birthday message to me. I think that's a celebration of Wednesday being Cinco de Mayo, don't you think?

No, that came in.

I think the subject line was Blur's Day. Oh, so they're saying happy birthday to me.

I mean, I think so. Maybe I have it wrong. I don't know.

It's so weird how like that, I don't know why. Again, this whole show is a freaking cry for attention for me. And yet, feeling like it's also a vehicle through which to get the listeners to wish me a happy Blur's Day It just feels like thirst much. Verbs.

One too much. On the other hand, though, you're tweeting out about your Blur's Day. You're trying to brand it Cinco de Luco.

I mean, you're right. My actions do not line up with what I'm saying. I know what you're saying. If you told me about a person who was tweeting about their birthday coming up and had rebranded Cinco de Mayo as Cinco de their name, I would say that is a person who's looking to get some attention on that topic. It's undeniable.

Happy birthday month, Luke.

You didn't even wish me a happy half-birthday, Andrew. I'm sorry. Back in November or whatever. Kelly says, happy Heavenly Blur's Day to my TBTL daddy, Kate. Aww. Who, by the way, Kelly says, I absolutely hate that phrase, daddy. But Kate would think it was funny. We miss you very much.

She might hate the phrase Heavenly Blur's Day, I think. This is, of course, Kate, who passed away just a couple of weeks ago. So I read that to mean that she absolutely hates the phrase Heavenly Blur's Day, but maybe I'm wrong about that.

When would that come up, though? This might be the first Heavenly Blur's Day that we've – I feel like TBTL Daddy has so much more energy around it because I'm always playing this sound effect and people do it. That's why someone earlier said they're TBTL Progenitor because they're trying to be nice to me. I bet you my guess would be that listener Kate, dearly departed listener Kate, RIP, did not like the term Daddy.

You're probably right. Boy, I'm really, I'm swinging and missing all over the place today. Sorry. That's not true. I ruined the sweet message from Kelly.

Speaking of missing, Kelly says, miss you very much. It's not the same without you, reminding me how many days it is until your birthday. And then mine. Love you, sweet friend. Signed, Kelly. So happy belated. I guess Heavenly Blur's Day is a thing now. Happy Heavenly Blur's Day to listener Kate and R.I.P. We're thinking of you.

Got listener Megan in Horseheads, New York. Megan. Yeah. Wishing my bestie Hess. Hey, we know Hess. Oh, yeah. In Nashville, a very happy Blur's Day. Hess is a great friend. Always there to listen to my crazy. Have a great day hanging out with your soldiers and hot dogs. That's from Megan to Hess. Happy Blur's Day, Hess.

For some reason, that makes me think Hess has a bunch of army men that she likes to set up. and then eat hot dogs. Your soldiers and hot dogs.

And sometimes maybe she makes it look like the soldiers are bringing this big hot dog on their shoulders to her, maybe.

Randy in Albuquerque. And I'm going to read this parenthetically.

Is that all right? No, please do, because he referenced it. He wrote a very, very long email as well, so I had to excerpt it. But he acknowledged this, what you're about to say, in his original note.

Randy in Albuquerque, who often writes in to tell us the Blur's Day segment is trash.

That's right. He has flamed us many times about how much he hates the Blur's Day segment. Yet here he is, Luke. Here he is, enjoying the fruits of the Blur's.

How the Blur's has turned. I'd like to wish a happy birthday to four very important people. Today is the incomparable Jen Flash Andrews birthday. I'm going to send her a message. Thank you, Randy. We love you and miss you, Jen. I will mention Jen's very much alive. This is not her Heavenly Blur's Day. She's living her best life, to be sure, free of my annoyances. That's all me, parenthetically, by the way. Oh, pining. But Jen's doing great, as is Jason. And, of course, it's Luke's birthday on Saturday. I think of Luke as my imaginary little brother. Very exasperating little brother, full of ridiculous ideas. And to my wife and I have birthdays just after Luke. So I guess this is Randy. He said four people. Okay, so we've got Jen Andrews. That's one. He's got me. That's two. And then he's got his wife, three. And then himself, four. Wow. The person who thinks the Blurs days are trash is wishing themselves a Blurs day. Randy, huh? Interesting. I blocked him.

He mentioned this in his note, too. I blocked him on Twitter. I still haven't unblocked him. No way. Oh, hell yeah. I don't block very many people, but he came in hot one day just saying that this segment is, like, trash and insulting to the listeners.

Would you consider unblocking him for his Blur's Day?

No, hell no, man. You're blocked. my bud would you consider unblocking me for my quarter life birthday coming up this weekend

i follow you on twitter luke and i have for a long time it's just like constantly it's like 10 days to my birthday to luco de mayo and it's just like it's become so much it's cinco de luco isn't it whatever burbo de mayo

i used to get cds from burbo de mayo when i worked at the public radio station

And pretty some decent world music. Oh, goodness. No, no, no. My gift to Randy is he is forever blogged. Happy Blur's Day, my friend.

Anne says happy birthday to Merit, child of listeners April and James, who turned six yesterday. Aww. Whether he's doing hashtag brother stuff with Truman, power shopping on Amazon for Calico Critters accessories, and big screen TVs. They let the kid buy big screen TVs.

Give him a credit card.

Or rocking it in school, he brings joy to everyone in his sphere. It's Happy Buller's Day, Merit.

Did you do that one because you knew that I would probably mess up sphere? It's a hard word for people with lisps to do that one.

I didn't, but I wish I would have known that. I would love to take credit for that. Just the luck of the draw, just how these things shake out.

We got a note here from our pal Diadli in New Haven, Connecticut. I am writing to wish a happy day of blurs to my firstborn, Ayana Rose. Beautiful. Who decided to make her grand appearance on Cinco de Mayo? Jadley, I think you're thinking of. That's weird. Maybe I pronounced it wrong.

Luco de Cinco, I believe is the official name.

Luco de Burbo. How did you not name your kiddo Luco de Burbo?

Maybe the middle name. Maybe Ayanna's middle name is Burbo.

We can only assume.

Can you imagine D'Adly trying to explain to someone someday her beautiful child and their beautiful name? And then they're like, but what's the Burbo? And she's like, well, sit down. I'll explain it to you.

What the hell is TBTL? Here, download this to your phone. But anyway, D'Adly says she probably already recognized the voices of you and Luke as much as she recognizes those of her parents. Looking forward to raising a member of the next generation of DBTL listeners. This is the sweetest.

Gosh, congratulations, Diadli. That's amazing. So Diadli had a baby, like, yesterday?

Wow. Yes. I mean, you're right. I wasn't kind of doing the math there. And one of the first orders of business was to get into the priorities. She beat Kevin. Kevin, who sent the note five minutes or less before we started doing Blurs days. He's sitting on that. Diadli has a newborn and sending. I'm deleting Kevin's again.

Yeah. Sorry, Kev. Julie says, so this will be the last Blurs day message today. Julie said, I want to wish my best friend and coworker Rhoda a happy Blurs day. She is fun and kind and never misses a chance to type spread she in her emails to me. For your birthday, I'm going to catch up on TBTL so we can discuss in real time. Hope you had a fabulous day. Happy Blur's Day. I love that so much. I love that the weirdness of the show has created a moment where Julie and Rhoda can send each other emails that say spread she. That makes them laugh. That's just such a dumb thing, and I love it.

I love to. And I also love how organic it is. You know, like so many of the things that I spout out are really just like even like the body joke, you know, which I associate with TBTL. Well, that's actually, you know, Amy Schumer's joke. But that one was literally just you had a drop that cut off too quickly and it irritated me. And so you decided to further irritate me by trimming it a little bit more each time. Like that is just like that is organic TBTL ridiculousness. All right, Kevin, only because you've been so patient, I'll read your message. I'd like to wish my cousin a happy birthday. I know I missed the last one, but I wanted to make sure I got this one in. Happy birthday from your kissing cousin, Kevin. Now he made it weird. Isn't that your job, Burbo DeLuko?

All I want is one listener to make their child's middle name Burbo. That's all I ask. I feel like that's a modest request.

Middle name, too? Are you happy with middle name?

Well, you start there, and then once we've normalized it as a name, then I'd like to move it to the first name, if possible. All right. We are, I think, going to go out with some Lucas with the lid off.

Get the vibe. Get the vibe.

And let everybody know that we're going to be right back here tomorrow with more Imaginary.

radio for you it's gonna be friday already what the heck um so uh please do join us for that until then have a great thursday stay safe take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to me as i stop the blursday music good luck to all Sorry.

Thank you. Like a thormat To jump around on I'm in this way Poetic and fatty already Open, open, open up Your skullcap And let it rain Let it rain Let it rain Let it drain Only I'm too cool To have a good time But really I'm a muted Chumpin' type of talkaway Hey, hey, hey Move to the front Take it off Take it off Catch the vibes Cause it's Lucas with the lid off Catch the vibes Catch the vibes

Oh, oh, oh Cause it's Lucas

Power out

You