Muse

Righty on lefty. First pitch by Duvall. Swing and that's foul. Straight back and off my computer. Oh my goodness. That just happened. So my computer is completely cracked. I tried to put my hand up and stop the baseball and it went straight back and now that one almost came back. And this became one of the worst days I have had in quite some time.

TBTN! Here's a sentence I never thought I'd say, but if you thought a sausage couldn't really hurt anyone, frankly, think again.

So I'm what's known as a psychic medium, but I'm also clairsentient, which means that I feel my angels. I'm also clairvoyant, which means I can see. I'm also clairaudient, which is most of the time I actually hear. I hear voices, and I also do financial advising.

Listen, I'm not one of those college types that's going to talk your ear off. I bought a balloon, and it doesn't mean I think I'm better than everybody else.

I have a beta sequence I've been working on. Would you like to see it? Alright. Alright, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. We'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. My name is Luke Burbank, I'm your host. Oh la la! Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center high in the sky, above Portland, Oregon. It's never felt higher in the sky than about 30 minutes ago. You all know that my... I've started the legal proceedings to formally adopt my Roomba, Randy, to make him my forever Roomba. You know, when I got him, he'd been through a lot and didn't have a positive human male role model in his life, and I changed all of that. We're very close now. So I take my relationship with this Roomba very seriously, and I couldn't figure out why Randy kept sending my phone an error message saying the bin was full, like where the dust and lint and stuff collects, because I had emptied it. And so I went on the website, and there was all these sensors inside of a Roomba. uh that if they're dusty they keep telling the robot brain that it's uh full so i uh took the thing apart a little bit and i realized boy this is really dusty this is very very like this is creating quite a mess so i thought well i'll go stand on the world's smallest balcony and do this uh cleaning and i am holding on to this dust bin and it's open and i'm trying to get these sensors clean i've made a huge mistake like i somehow unsnap one part of the dustbin and it falls 21 stories down to the ground outside my apartment building and it's like fluttering in the wind because it's kind of like a flat piece of plastic it's pretty lightweight actually and as it's fluttering I'm watching it almost go into different balconies that are below where I live and I'm in it's weird how the human brain can work so quickly I mean the whole flight the flight of the Randy and I probably took like five ten seconds but as it would go by past each balcony I would imagine myself having to talk to the people who live in that apartment first of all trying figuring out what floor it was what apartment they were in knocking on their door and saying uh hello do you mind if i come out onto your balcony

to see if in fact you have a um part of my robot child um so anyway luckily he made it all the way to the ground and then i was able to go out and sneak into a like non uh allowed area of my apartment building so basically it was a big fenced off thing but i snuck in there and uh and got randy back and he is ship shape and he's working again so everything is now where it should be as we arrive at episode 3460 in a collector series let the fun begin we have we have so much to get to today i'll tell you what things from the weekend that we couldn't get to yesterday because we were trying to keep things fairly compact because yesterday was a holiday as i mentioned between one and 74 times anyway uh we didn't get to the story about the state of maine and what they're trying to do to make sure that the vanity license plates that are authorized in the state are not in the opinion of some anyway a little too risque a little

too naughty explicit there's a one one person in particular who's driving a van called the milf mobile that's not even the issue it's the license plate the personalized vanity plate that she has selected that has some people a bit upset so we will talk about that also happy i think you should leave season two day everybody yes indeed i have been laughing the whole time today is the day that season two of i think one of the best comedy sketch shows in a long time debuts on netflix maybe i watched an episode this morning maybe i maybe i've already seen one sixth of the season i don't know we'll talk about it coming up and then time permitting another message from the weekend from one Matthew McConaughey where he decided that what we really needed as Americans was for Wooderton to weigh in on things and let us know how it should be. One of his I think most impactful statements was that it was time for America to just rock. When you got God, you got a friend and that friend is you. We'll try to play that tape too again if we have the time plus we got emails and v-mails and we got this guy oh man speaking of handsome handsome men this handsome young stranger he is a soulful rocker from new hampshire he is the longest running cobro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is andrew walsh and he's joining me right now from the roosevelt neighborhood of seattle washington

good morning my friend good morning luke i have a few follow-up questions regarding your randy's story for starters before we even get into what happened today generally speaking when you talk about your relationship with randy my question for you is who rescued who yeah

a lot of people they said you know a lot of times when they get a randy out of the situation he was in they just put him down and yeah i know they told me they said you cannot rehabilitate this Roomba and I just said you know what it's not about the Roomba it's about the training and it's about the environment that they've been in and um so I uh yeah I did a lot of work with him who's very scared of humans at first um and was just yeah obviously was just dropping dust and lint everywhere like you walk into the room and just any like just terrified of people but um we got

him back so yeah that's i mean the fact that you stopped calling him your room and started calling him your rescue was a interesting news um my other question for you is way more pragmatic as you know luke but the listeners do not we had some technical difficulties uh at the beginning of the show so that means i actually missed the end of that story i know the listeners just heard how this ended but like my equipment here kind of uh farted out uh i don't know if that's the right term i didn't want to say crap it seemed too crude um would you call it a 21 fart salute in the style of minions i would so last i heard before all my equipment crashed and then came back to life i heard that this bin i believe it's the dustbin is tumbling tumbling down of history 21 um stories you're waiting for it to land on somebody's balcony and you're imagining what you're going to say to them when it lands but that's that's all i heard where did it land what happened i'm sorry i want to i just

also clarify for for you and the listeners it wasn't the entire dustbin that would have probably shattered into a million pieces it was this little it was this flap okay it was like a little the thing that you kind of click open to get to the dustbin and as i was trying to with a paper towel really get into all the nooks and crannies of this thing i basically popped this little door this little flap off inadvertently so it was like a flat piece of plastic thankfully again because Had it been the entire bin, well, Randy, right now, Andy, I would have, Andy, Andy, meet Randy. Randy, meet Andrew. I would, right now, I would have texted you and I've been like, I'm going right now to the Roomba hospital. You've got to do this show. Get Beavs. Get Theo. Do what you've got to do. I've got a situation on my hands. As it was, it was just this little flat piece of plastic that was more like, it fell more gracefully than I would have expected. Like it just started spinning kind of like one of those little maple seeds that comes down like a helicopter. But not round and round, but like over and over. It would be like if you dropped an envelope and it just was kind of fluttering down. So it landed in this DMZ of my apartment building. I think it actually technically landed on the roof of the fifth floor. But it's definitely not an area that you're like exactly allowed to walk to. because it's all these like decorative rocks and plants and things. And I think it's.

actually i mean it probably belongs to whatever whoever owns this building i guess but what it's really associated with is some fancy spa here in portland it's called not springs that everybody loves whenever i'm talking to somebody irl and trying to explain where i live and when they start to figure it out they go oh we're not springs is and i go yeah so i go down there and there's also this this is going to be so boring and forever taking but But if you look out of this little tiny balcony that I have, and I mean I can't overstate how teeny tiny – my sense is this balcony exists because there was some architectural error where they inadvertently created some kind of small alcove, and they were like, what do we do about this? Well, I guess you could technically call it a balcony. Okay, that's what we're going to do. so um from my tiny balcony i can look down and see this kind of roof area and there's a there's a big um there's like a deck that's out onto this roof area they'll say the deck is like 10 feet by 30 feet i don't know if that deck belongs to somebody who has a particularly fancy apartment i don't know if it belongs to me as a renter in this building like if that's something i can get access to what i do know is for about two weeks there was a bra sitting out there on it uh which yeah that's exactly the sound that you should make because it was a very ooh explicit and um oh explicit ooh so i could stand on my balcony and look out and see this which i'm going to be honest not to be 14 years old but i was sort of trying to understand the story on why there was a bra sitting on the i was not even actually in the where the area where the deck is it was right

next to it in the rocks don't you think that probably same deal probably blew off somebody's balcony maybe they were um like air drying it after hand washing it in the sink i think that's

exactly what happened but i'd never realized it until i had my version of that experience today with randy because i also didn't know what that deck was i thought maybe that's somebody's like that belonged to someone's apartment and they were out partying and things got wild maybe a little racy and their people clothes were flying off of people i didn't know but anyway i was now this morning tasked with trying to figure out first of all what floor is that actually on second of all how do i get out there third of all the person with the bra single ready to mingle right inquiring minds want to know so um i go down there and i realize that uh well a the bra is gone b i can't get to that deck because it belongs to knot springs this bougie spa that is not connected

i mean not connected to your building as far as access is concerned exactly go out to the street

my key fob will yeah my key fob will not get me into any of their facilities there's nobody there it's closed right now still for the pandemic and so i come around i find oh there's this it's the architecture of this building is so interesting it's like there's nothing that the designers of this building hated more than a right angle like every single thing you encounter is at a very odd angle because this building is cool and new and edgy or whatever right so i i realize Otherwise, there's a way for me to get into this rock plant area, but I have to climb up this, like, angled, brushed aluminum window ledge, if you will, that's in the shape of, like, a trapezoid. From the outside, we're talking about here. Yeah, I'm in a walkway. Not at the outside. I'm in a walkway. I'm in a walkway in my building, but it's like a breezeway, okay? Okay. So this is the level of the building where I could potentially go to the gym. I could go outside to a different Outdoor area that is part of Like if you rent in this building you get to use it But over on the other side of all that I can now see The area where Randy is Or at least part of Randy is But to get to it I have to sort of Climb up this like Angled brushed aluminum Like all I can say is Imagine a trapezoid shaped window That's like framing my access to this area i'm trying to get to but it's big and it's very slippery and i'm in flip-flops and i have to climb up this aluminum ramp basically and then climb over a fence and then lower myself down into the rocks now andrew these are the moments when i am the most keenly

aware of being 45 years old can i ask you a question are you wearing flip-flops or sliders I'm wearing slides okay you've embarrassed yourself again well you called them flip-flops that's true

embarrassing that was more okay I've embarrassed myself again

you've embarrassed yourself slightly less i was picturing tiny little sandwiches on your feet the time when

like the time when i was not like doing hosting the sasquatch kickoff party and i was trying to be funny and i talked about people doing mollies people probably thought you were joking i mean oh god i hope they did all i know is that i went backstage and i looked at twitter and there was multiple tweets about me calling it mollies oh no um anyway uh so now i'm like also i'm looking around for security cameras i mean i'm definitely not allowed to be in this area so i gingerly make my way up this weird angled thing i climb onto this fence i hop over it i lower myself down slowly now i'm in the rocks and i'm like is this gonna trigger some motion detected thing like this is 100 not allowed i'm rehearsing my speech in my mind to security uh please my son he very sick I drop part of him from my balcony And now I have to get him back I'm really thinking by the time I get back To this area and climb out There's going to be Probably a SWAT team here Waiting for me Also I'm walking by I should mention this too I am now exactly at eye level with all of these windows And I don't know I'm not 100% sure that these aren't people's apartments Yeah right And the shades are open So it's like now I'm also like have at what point does this become a peeping tom situation right right right and also by the way

you wouldn't be picked up by the fbi or homeland security or whatever you said it'd probably be that robo cop organization that's securing your building these days didn't we talk about that on the show or was that an off off air conversation i don't just cut all out secure a toss i don't

think i i don't know if they're doing my building yet but i saw them somewhere nearby and we started yeah that's a whole thing the neighborhood app has started which you're a pretty big fan of andrew yeah yeah would you say you're a major or a huge fan of no i think it just yeah no i think

it builds trust in communities that's great i am wrong though once again i've embarrassed myself

i said the neighborhood app i meant citizen it's actually citizen is this thing that i would say

is probably equally pernicious actually as next door right you were thinking next door yeah yeah

i misspoke it's not next door it's citizen and citizen was originally pitched as this way to like report shady shit going on in your general area um which sounds okay on paper but i think there's a lot of misuse of it and a lot of profiling that goes on a lot of just like stuff that's not good well citizen has uh according to an article that i was reading a few weeks ago they've partnered with a company called securitas and they're just like a massive private security company and what it looks like uh will be happening at some point is if you pay like citizen premium you can hit a button on your citizen app and then you can basically summon a private police force to wherever you are which again raises a whole host of issues and that's what you and i were talking about luckily uh securitas was not called on me i got back to the i got and also by the way when i got to where randy's part was i was like well is this going to be shattered was this all for not luckily it wasn't i was able to get back out of the um the area that i wasn't supposed to be in and get back up here and put randy all back together again and uh he did his little vacuum job and everything seems fine and the warnings went away that's a great question actually i didn't actually even look there's a little red illuminated trash bin i'll check that later because that would be that would actually be very funny if after all of that it didn't even remedy the problem of because i will i promise i promise you i will stop after this but you know andrew it's your kid and it's like you can just talk about them forever right um addy who what um i uh i've noticed that after one vacuuming this roomba will tell me the bin is full and it's like i don't have a huge apartment and there's not that much dirt in it and i will empty the bin and there will just be like a little bit of stuff in there And I'm like, this can't be how this works. And it's because some ultra-careful sensor somewhere in there has dust on it, which strikes me as a bad system.

Yes. I had something similar happen to me a couple of times in increasing severity with my Dyson stick vacuum, which I love. It's, like, one of the most expensive appliances we've ever owned. You know, every vacuum I think I had before this was somehow inherited, right? But Genevieve, from my birthday a few years back, got me a Dyson animal stick vacuum. It's great.

Isn't that the weirdest name for that?

Yeah, I don't love it.

We've got a particular listener in Chicago who actually works for Dyson. And I am a big fan of their products, so peace and love. But I do think animals seem so outside the whole Dyson aesthetic. Also, they they produced a ton of those animals that are like a weird color of purple and then also like a kind of a almost hot. Not hot pink, but an odd color of pink.

I think that's the one I have, purple and red, kind of, yeah.

And again, it's like, Dyson, know your brand. This is supposed to be, like, I don't think it's actually Scandinavian, but this is supposed to be, like, high design and subtle. And I think they couldn't move a lot of those animals because they went from being, why am I taking this here? Although people do seem to like vacuum talk. But they've created a whole bunch of those, and I don't understand why they went with that color, because doesn't it seem like it doesn't fit with their overall aesthetic as a company?

You know, I'm not sure. I don't have a lot of other Dyson products. When I think of Dyson, I wanted to mention, you know, they have those air blade hand dryers. And again, peace and love to our listener who works for Dyson because the Dyson interactions I have had, I love, I love my vacuum, but I hate those air blade hand dryers that are in like public restrooms. You got to carefully slide your hands down into it like you're playing a game of operation without touching the sides of the machine. And remember, we did a story about that like a long time ago now. I want to say like five years ago about how somebody did a study about how those things spray kind of germs all over the place. Now, your hands should be clean in theory if you're using one of those, but if your hands aren't totally clean, as it's drying your hands, it's blowing particulates all over the place. And we were in Tulalip, the casino, this weekend, And I noticed that those things had signs on them that said, you know, these are these are not in use right now. And the signs seem pretty old. And I wondered if that was a pandemic related decision. Like we don't need these things that are going to be blowing air all over the place during a pandemic. Although that place probably wasn't open during the pandemic. I don't know. Maybe they were.

Oh, I bet it was. Actually, I think that because places like that, like casinos that tended to be on like Native American land. And I mean, we're all sort of on Native American land, let's be honest. But the small patches that we've designated as such, I think that they were probably able to operate under their own rules with a lot of modifications.

Yeah, actually, I was hearing a lot of commercials on sports radio for the various casinos. But yeah, anyway, all of that is to say my vacuum, like yours, you know, it has some sensors in it. And so if it feels like something is clogging the passageway, it will simply not work. It's not like you push the button and it struggles or gasps for air. It just shuts down because the vacuum is smart enough to know that there's something clogging the passageway. Unfortunately, sometimes it thinks it's clogged when it's not. And it leads to some real scary situations for me because, again, I love this thing. And it's not I've only had it for a few years. I don't know how long you're supposed to keep a vacuum. It's a banana, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars. It's like I really don't know what the life of a modern vacuum cleaner should be, but I'm not ready to even begin to say goodbye to this Dyson yet. And it seems like it broke down at a pretty inopportune time last time my brother-in-law was visiting with his dog, best dog in the world, by the way. But I was thinking like, oh, well, good thing I have a Dyson that is literally called Animal because it's made to clean up animal hair. And by the way, this dog was not really shedding that much. it's just like in my head i'm like okay well here's my vacuum and then suddenly this one time i could not get it to work again like it just it was just like nothing and it's like there's something about hearing the vacuum cleaner kind of struggle where you can sort of then use your ears and your eyes to figure out where the clog is but when it just shuts down because of a sensor you're just left very very frustrated i can't i did eventually get it working again i think just by actually taking it apart and cleaning out the filters which i thought were clean but apparently not clean enough

it's like the way that cars are these days which is i mean things are so much less analog than they used to be and not that i was good at fixing an analog car i didn't know how to do that either but it could have happened it was possible like you know uh i could have maybe changed a hose if i had to but so much uh of the so many things now are run by sensors which like you said there's just they're just i guess sort of binary in that way you know it's just like nope sorry uh i can't let you do that because i think there's dirt in your and then you know what you do you throw the dyson off the 21st floor of your apartment building and teach it a lesson yeah if i ever have that

issue with my vacuum again i'm just going to ship it down to you and you can throw it off your

balcony absolutely it's a service it's sort of run like a kind of an outward bound like this is kind of a place we bring vacuum cleaners that are troublesome and we train them up and we send them back uh good as new right uh to their owners so uh that's my side hustle congratulations

though um so you didn't did so in in your intro you hadn't told that whole story and i missed it so you were just teeing it up okay good i'm glad to know so i didn't yeah i mean i was only here

at twice listeners could have never known but i was only about four percent of the way hey i enjoyed it they were like huh this is a lot of talking about this J- GD Roomba, I was like, hold my beer. I started drinking beer during the show, by the way, which I think has really improved not the listener's experience, but my experience. This is Hot Luke Summer, where I drink one beer per episode. Nice. All right, let's take a quick break, and then we come back. I do want to talk about, I think you should leave season two, and also the other things on the list, including the license plates and mains, and maybe McConaughey, if we have the McConaughey time. So stay with us. It's TBTL. Hello and welcome to Top Story. A just quick addendum, if you will, or a quick mini top story that I want to slide in here before we get to the real top stories. This today is the day that I think you should leave season two drops on Netflix. and I was seeing articles I was seeing a flurry of articles about this today Andrew including an interview with Tim Robinson the co-creator of the show in New York magazine and I was reading the interview and I didn't know this about him but I guess he's sort of not a fan of doing media interviews like he gets a little who knows I don't want to speculate but it's just the person writing the piece I thought they actually did a really nice job with the piece because they talked about how they had been warned basically that tim robinson can just be a little like quiet and kind of disengaged i guess from doing these

media interviews has you a quick question you said co-creators he didn't create it with sam

richardson did he he didn't he's okay i've been it's a guy named like i think it's like zach canan oh i'm not sure how you say the guy's last name but i was thinking about that today because i have been saying because he and sam richardson i assume he and sam richardson co-created detroiters I have just figured that I think you should leave Was also those two dudes And because Sam Richardson is in I think you should leave a lot I have just been misattributing it And there's some guy named Zach Either Kanan or Kanan or however you say his last name There's this other guy who's the co-creator Whose name I must have seen a thousand times Watching the first season as co-creator And it never made an impression on me So apologies Zach

I was just curious because I wasn't sure If this other co-creator was somebody Who we had seen on the screen before Or it sounds like it's more of a background person

It's not somebody who I have associated a name with a face Interesting, cool For what that's worth So I was seeing all these interviews And also, funnily enough The interview with Tim Robinson in New York Magazine Well, first of all, the writer is talking about how Tim Robinson doesn't like doing media Or is kind of a little bit A little checked out And then she talks about how her kid Busts into the room While they're doing this on Zoom, obviously And starts to ask says I have to go potty and she said this is the moment that Tim Robinson lights up and then the kids showing Tim Robinson like stuffed animals and Tim Robinson is like super engaged and that's awesome it's like a nice little anecdote to start the piece and then also of course later on they're talking about the cultural impact of the show and the way that they demonstrate the cultural impact is citing a tweet from our friend and unpaid bidet correspondent Chris Hayes tweeting about the hot dog car sketch as it related to Ted Cruz I believe so So I was texting you and Chris this morning saying, I am so excited for this show, and I'm excited that Chris is now officially part of the discourse on that show. But so then I was like, why the flurry of activity around or interviews around the show? And I was like, is today the day the show debuts? So I Googled the show, and you know the first thing that comes up, people searching, what time does Netflix release new shows?

Is it always the same?

I don't know. What I do know is that there were a bunch of people that were so excited about I think you should leave season two that it wasn't it wasn't specific enough information for them that it starts today. They wanted to know they wanted to know, I should say, what hour of today did it start? And so I went down that rabbit hole. I read the articles on when it starts and I found out that it actually had been up since about midnight or, you know, 12.01 a.m. or whatever. Like this morning On the west coast and so You know about 40 minutes from when we're Supposed to start talking I started a 30 minute episode I think you should leave season 2 the first Episode I could not help myself Andrew I was like a kid trying to open their Christmas presents or at least peek at them Before it's Christmas morning

I don't want to know much About it I don't want to hear necessarily about The skits I mean it's so brand new But I just want to I'm just interested in, like, the big question. I guess the big question is, you know, how's the vibe? Does the vibe feel the same and good? Or does it feel like a sophomore effort that's maybe a little more thirsty or something? I'm assuming not. But more specifically, is there any...

I think our biggest kind of fear is too strong of a word. I don't know. Concern might have been that, like, are we seeing terror, terror, just just abject terror is are we seeing like a return of characters? Is it is it like, hey, we're going to try to make hot dog man more of a thing. And again, I'm assuming that is not the case. I'm assuming we're seeing new characters and new scenarios without giving anything away.

I will say and of course only having watched there's apparently six episodes and so I've seen the first of six there were no recurring characters there was a sketch that reminded me of another sketch actually that involved Sam Richardson which was it started off as my least favorite sketch and then it it as that show tends to do it somehow got to a place that was funny for me so it was along the lines of a Sam Richardson hosted on season one that like baby pageant oh yeah where they're just like judging these babies and like one of the babies bart harley jarvis is very unpopular with the people in the room which is just a funny concept i guess it's it's another sort of pageant style thing but it's a little bit different anyway that one was the there was one sketch it was a little reminiscent of another sketch but there were no no repeat characters and i will tell you this i lulled i mean i laughed out loud like in the most literal sense 20 times like it was very funny to me I also feel like again just based on episode one I feel like they very smartly did not they didn't overthink it if that makes any sense like the first sketch is a funny sketch but it's you know it's it's a it's a totally fine sketch but it didn't feel like they like just said we have to like we have to redefine comedy in the first sketch of the first episode of season two like they just put up another funny thing that interestingly enough does involve hot dogs but not a guy in a hot dog suit it did feel relevant

to your interest my hot dogs is a big thing in the detroiters as well we play a lot as a matter of fact was there some um oh in yesterday's intro tape i believe there's dangerously under fed or something yeah there's the yeah it also there's the they talk about hot dog bowls in one of the um in in one of the drops we use the detroiters are obsessed with hot dogs and i think i mean that's just that comes to him naturally i think as a as a midwestern boy yeah

so um it it seemed to me like they did not overthink it and so therefore it was really funny they didn't try to they didn't try to like they did in the first episode it seems to me like it's the right amount of variation off of season one but not such a departure that it looks nothing like it because they were like we've I mean it has the same interstitials that kind of like cool music with the sort of artistic I don't know what you would call that patterns and stuff um so it felt like it felt like a continuation of season one but with different premises and I quite enjoyed it and now I'm in the fairly unusual position for me of being already sad about having watched the first episode because that's it's like when you go on vacation and it's day one and you're having fun but you're sad because that's one less day

of your vacation that now exists this could just be my brain not being as sharp but i feel like it's a pretty rewatchable show i feel like it's pretty um pretty dense with jokes yes i i think

and also just the memification of it i was very tempted this morning to start tweeting just like two word references to sketches just to see how many real heads out there had already like Watched the show I'll just tell you two words Coffin flops Get into coffin flops So yeah I was It definitely Quenched my thirst For the show and I'm excited about it And I will re-watch it because I think it holds up I've re-watched a lot of the Sketches, I've never re-watched an entire Episode from the first season But mostly what it has been is I'm trying to tell somebody About the show And I'm like well let me just find it And I find it on my phone I play it for him It never pays off Like if the person is unfamiliar with the show They're never like oh my god this is the funniest thing I've ever seen because I kind of think it's a bit of a mood Like For one thing the show is of course Very scatological Very kind of like leans on a lot of Gross humor that I think is Somehow it's not as puerile as it would sound if you just described it like this then this guy does this and then this person's talking about big old mud pies and then this like but when you're watching it to me it's like they're in on the joke like they're being kind of they're being puerile but they're doing it with an awareness of how puerile they're being but sometimes if you show

someone a sketch from this show out of context and you really want them to like the show uh it uh

in my experience rarely works yeah you know there have been I feel like a couple of times where I've thought to myself oh I'm going to send my dad that um you know the original hot dog skit the one where you know the one where we're all trying to find the guy who did this who drove the hot dog car through the through the uh storefront window but then I always forget that it turns real like I don't remember how the thing turns but he starts listing all these porn sites do you remember the end of that skit i don't know i don't think it's too dirty for us to play here um if so i'll cut this out we'll replace it with just uh a long beep or whatever we usually do in that case let me see if i can find it but yeah that that skit takes a real turn where somehow he's walking around i can't find it here uh pulling things off the shelves like trying to steal the products from the store in front of everybody right yeah but he's clothes but he's like saying like porn hub and triple x and like i can't remember like what what tangent he's on but he's just like listing dirtier and dirtier websites i believe and i was like yeah i think that might lose my dad probably not for bob walsh even if he yeah i just a lot of levels of not sending that to dan well to the to

the point of like you were making that like the show's pretty rewatchable i'm excited for the part where everyone has seen season two and it starts being meme-ified like you have no good car ideas or a steering wheel that whiffs out the window that's almost like when you eat a really good meal and then you burp like six hours later and you're like that was good don't don't fake the funk you know you know what i'm talking about don't pretend like don't pretend like you don't

burp it's not um i know i know that sometimes in the moment i what you're talking about but right

now that doesn't make me um hungry yeah well i like sometimes i'll eat a certain kind of meal and i'll think oh yeah this is the burps are going to be good on this one and i'm not a particularly like i don't burp that much actually i'm not even joking like whatever's going on with my like peristalsis and my digestive it doesn't go in that direction like howard stern uh our friend p fletch and the other stern listeners out there will know he's got some kind of the repeats going on where he is just belching left and right on the show which is not unlike i think you should leave it's both so dumb that it's like infantile but it has taken on a life of its own on the show where it's it ends up being funny because he never says it's coming he'll be talking about like maybe his parents he'll be talking about whatever he's talking about he'll burp robin

will be horrified he'll say like i have a really lets it rip like he like does like the really

I mean, he's not like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds, right? Where he's like in a belching contest. But he does not hold it back. And it's always a massive shock because he's never like, okay, here comes a burp, everybody. He's just like talking very deadpan. And that show has gotten so, now that they're at home, it's just like, it honestly sounds, it sounds like, you know, the Parks and Rec. It sounds like Pawnee Today or whatever the name of that. Thoughts on your thoughts I'm Derry Nurbel It almost sounds like that sometimes It's just so mellow Because it's basically him and Robin They're at their houses They're just chatting And then he'll just let a burp fly That just catches you by surprise every time Anyway, I am not a person Who has that particular condition But what I do know Is that I'm excited for when These new characters When these new characters become meme-ified That will be another fun way to enjoy this content is what i'm trying to see when you go into a meme war yeah um let's talk a little about what's going on in maine where uh a the decision that they made a few years ago to uh basically allow people to put whatever they wanted to on their vanity plates most states my sense is most states have in fact we've talked about this before most states have some sort of a you know commission or group of people who are charged with kind of like looking at proposed vanity plates to try to figure out if maybe they're quote unquote inappropriate for whatever reason Maine does not have that group of people for some number of years it's been basically a free-for-all the program was created in 1989 and it did not specify any rules around what you could put on these vanity plates it's also very popular in the state of maine 119 000 people have registered vanity plates it generates two million dollars a year annually for the state of maine and maine is not a hugely populated state right it's like geographically probably pretty large but as far as population i just looked it up a 1.3 mil yeah so you know

That's like, you know, under 10 percent, but still a decent amount of the folks in the state have vanity plates. And maybe it's because you can put whatever the hell you want on there. This was all put on my radar by this really good article by Nathan Bernard in The Intercept. So do please go read Nathan's piece. It's clear looking at Nathan's Twitter feed that he's been sort of keeping pretty close tabs on somebody named Brittany. Tabs. Tabs. because he's been tweeting you can tell that he got interested in this milf mobile a while ago and um and and has been like tweeting about it and then when uh the uh a couple of like state senators in maine uh basically put together a piece of legislation that's now been proposed it's a bill aimed at banning vulgar and obscene vanity plates um and it has now been proposed in the main state you know legislature uh to try to get some rules around this because folks like britney glidden aka the milf mobile uh van driver her actual vanity license plate is and i i asked you this yesterday andrew if this whole story is going to take us into a place that's a little too dirty for bob walsh and maybe the listeners how do we talk about

her license plate without being a little crass well i think for the purposes of this story we gotta probably just say what the license plate says i think i think trying to describe it by using more proper language would just be annoying and and not really helpful we're all adults here and when i say we're all adults here i mean we have a lot of children who listen to the show as

well who are gonna we often start the show with audio that is of a child who has been listening to the show in fact i believe the other day the show started with a child saying please stop

swearing so much well how do you feel about tits out because that's what the bumper sticker i'm sorry the vanity license plate says one word t-i-t-s-o-u-t on the vanity plate and it makes

it's a really nice companion to all of the bumper stickers yeah that's where some of them that's

where we might want to smooth out some of these details maybe uh one of the uh it's not even

really a bumper sticker. It's more just like a custom vinyl lettering on the van. It says, kids in this B, but it's got the whole word, honk if one falls out.

The little

play on the baby on board, I believe. Right, exactly. Kids in this B, honk if one falls out, or if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair. I've seen that one. Well, that one is dirty enough that it goes over the head Of a lot of the younger folks Which I think is probably fine It's a little more euphemistic I've actually seen that one on other people's cars I don't, let me just put it this way I don't I have a hard time identifying With the mindset of someone Who wants to say that To every stranger That is ever behind them on any roadway

Yeah, I mean you put it on a mug Sure you're sharing that with just your colleagues But everybody who's behind you On an interstate

I mean, it's a very it is a very it's a very sexual statement, particularly if you're a woman. Women are more than allowed to be sexual. See my earlier bra comments. But like to tell every single person who happens to ever be behind you. This sort of very sexual statement is I mean, again, it's just an interesting it's an interesting way to move through the world. She's also got one that says condoms prevent minivans on her minivan. You guys can say it is a minivan. Yeah, so that's... She's got a ton of kids, by the way. She's got... Let me see. Looking through. This is a very extensive story, by the way. She has four children. They're 14, 11, 7, and 5. She says, I'm not worried about vanity plates at all. My children hear and see much worse than that every day in TV, books, news, and video games. And other bumper stickers Right, exactly My older kids have experienced increased popularity because of this Which is pretty funny I gotta give her some credit on that I think that's funny the way she puts it

And did you mention that she says This is a direct quote from The Intercept here Well, from her via The Intercept The plate references Again, that's T-I-T-S-O-U-T The plate references the fact that I exclusively breastfed all four of my children Glidden said And that I frequently drive topless Maine is, in fact, a topless state.

Yeah, that's, you know, I was with her on the, I guess I'm, I don't know. Am I with her on all of it? Like, I also feel like we are in the West and in America, we are extremely prudish about women's breasts. Like, look, if I saw here in Portland, Oregon, if I saw a woman walking down the street without a shirt on, it would certainly. Stunned me because it's something I'm not used to But if you really sit down and think about it The way that we have Sexualized and also sort of I don't know the term Fetishized, sexualized And made it something where women Are, I just don't think that there's a strong argument For why women should have to wear shirts If they don't want to

The fact that New Hampshire passed a law Specifically saying I had to wear A shirt, I felt it was somewhat Hurtful but also fair

yeah it was called andy's bill it was it's now andy's law yeah but uh you know what i mean like i i guess it's like if i'm if i'm thinking about human beings and their ability to control their own body i i can't think of a good reason why we should be able to tell women that they're not allowed to be topless if they choose to you know what i mean like can you no no no certainly not

And I haven't researched this, but, you know, I take Lidman's word. I've seen your internet browsing history. Well, I mean, I've done some research on the topic, but not this particular issue of whether or not Maine is a topless state. I'm taking that at face value here. But, yeah, I mean, if that's gone through, because I know other states, like I'm pretty sure New York is the same, too, because I remember there was a big, like, free the nipple movement that I think came out of New York. So, yeah, no, I don't have a problem with that. But, I mean, you know me. I also grew up in a really repressed house. And I'm not the most like comfortable in my body type of fella in the world anyway. So I'm sure if I did see somebody walking down the street, see a woman walk down the street topless, I would either like I would either make the most insane eye contact the whole way up here, Michael. Exactly. Or or probably, you know, you don't want to seem like you're gawking. That's for sure. I can't say that I wouldn't feel very probably in my head about it.

now does that extend to I was in San Francisco a number of years ago now and I was I think Carrie and I were like walking to get lunch and a guy walked past us just totally nude now this wasn't like a solstice nude bike ride day this wasn't like there wasn't any specific event going on where there was a lot of people who were naked just a guy in his 60s by the way wearing shoes and socks he's not you know he's not a maniac just strolling down the street completely naked and it I have to say was quite shocking to see um and did you

do did you like so well you might not do this anyway like sometimes you pass somebody on the sidewalk if they're on the you know if you're passing them close up you give them a nod right just any human being I just gave them

gentle nut tap yes is gentle nut tap

no it's not it's a license

plate no register it for now yeah but wait till they get a hold of it in maine uh where they're trying to change things no i mean like i there's to me there's something about i find male nudity to be more threatening i mean not that sounded like there's a lot behind that statement i guess what i mean is historically men have sexualized situations i think much more than women have and so the idea of a bunch of dudes walking around nude feels like it could get weird really fast to me but i don't i don't i feel like it would be less the case uh if it were women but i don't know maybe that's just maybe that's my uh my tired puritanical thoughts about the topic i can tell you who does not have puritanical thoughts britney glidden she is now in the process of designing a large vinyl wrap for her van it says tits out in huge letters with a diagonal Red streak with swear Words filling the whole thing She says she says Like if the lyrics to the song Which I didn't even know this was a blink 182 song There's a blink 182 song that's Just like three well It's shit Piss and then the f word I guess that's a did you know that was a song by blink 182 no I don't know anything about Them no okay so She says it's like if the lyrics To the song sp by blink 182 were made into a giant obnoxious decal it might just make the state wish they hadn't even worried about offensive vanity plates so clearly this is a big part of britney's

personality you know the most surprising thing about the story is to me that this is happening in maine and not new hampshire because like because i remember stories like this happening in new hampshire where um the state said no you're you're violating our policy and you know New Hampshire is supposed to be like the libertarian live free or die state. But I'm actually on because I was like, it doesn't like, as you said before, a lot of states have rules regulating the language you can use on license plates. I'm like, I'm sure that New Hampshire, even old old live free or die New Hampshire had these rules. And I'm looking at the actual DOT website here for New Hampshire. I thought.

Pardon me. I just literally did. I just did a little Howard Stern. Maybe we can cut that out. But not only, you know, is there language like you can't have intimate body parts or genitals, sexual or excretory acts or functions, blah, blah, blah. One of the things that is also bullet pointed here is whether read forward, backward, by mirror image or by phonetic spelling. So the New Hampshire law even specifically says, like, if you think you're going to be clever by having something that looks, you know, fine, but then you see it in a rearview mirror and it's like, what did you just call me? Turns out they thought of that one, too. They're blocking that. Yeah.

God, I almost feel like you should just let them at that point. Imagine doing something phonetically and in reverse. Right. Yeah. That only reveals – it's like a magic eye of, you know, bawdy behavior.

So what's going on here? Is this – so there were no regulations in Maine and now Glidden is pushing that? Like her actions have triggered them to look into it?

Well, I think that – I think the guy who wrote this piece, Nathan Bernard, was just – had been – because apparently the Milfmobile has become kind of famous on, like, Maine Facebook. So every time people see it, they take a picture of it, they put it up there. And so he'd been kind of, I think, following this saga of this weird minivan and then used her as kind of the, I guess you could say, poster child for it. But I don't think that she's mentioned specifically in the proposed bill or anything. I just think there's a lot of this. In fact, the one of the state legislators, I'm sorry, the secretary of state in Maine, Shanna Bellows, supports the proposal to rein these license plates in. And she says there are about 400. This is talk about irony, Andrew. Bellows says there are 420 plates that are currently vulgar.

Took me a second.

Not for 19, not for 21. Yeah. She said there are 420 plates that are vulgar enough to be banned Examples include Now this is actually great because I can read these Andrew Because none of them are Like They're all clever workarounds Of swears pretty much So F P-H-U-K U And then the number 2 That's one that they would like to ban That someone has in Maine One is I the letter i e a t the letter a and then five five two fives and yeah i was almost gonna finish that for you i eat a five five so i love fives sure uh the letter l the number eight the letter r the letter b the letter t the letter c the letter h okay yep okay uh one that says people suck well it's ppl and then su c uh another one o-m-w-t-f-y-b on your way on my

way to bleep your bleep oh i did did you know that that's what that is i actually did i don't

think i knew it i've never seen it shortened like that but that is like a joke that's actually not unlike your um i shouldn't say your because i don't want people to associate with it but Not on, like, our attendees.

Oh, yeah.

There's a meme. There's a meme of, like, somebody being – usually the way it usually plays out is a guy doing something that's very not cool. A guy, like, you know, like on one of those little Razor scooters and then, you know, crashing on the curb and hurting himself and writhing around. And he'll be, like, on my way to bleep your bleep. Oh, okay. The joke being, like, I am so cool and awesome that I'm irresistible, and I'm going to come steal your girlfriend. But, in fact, I am, like, not being very cool at all. Okay. That's the way you really add some fun to a meme as you explain it.

Well, I did. I mean, you were in a position where I said, I don't know what that means, and you had to explain it. So there you go.

I think the most interesting, like an oddly serious, if you will, license plate that comes up in this article is a guy named Dave Wardamaskey owns it. He lives in a place called Blue Hill in Maine, and he happens to have ALS, a.k.a. Lou Gehrig's disease. And his license plate reads F-U-C-K-A-L-S. and his his his license plate would be banned under the new law and this is what he says to Nathan Bernard writing the piece I rarely get negative feedback from anyone about my license plate but frankly I welcome it when I do he said I tell them take your outrage at a single syllable word he's referring to the f-word there and turn that outrage towards this horrible disease ALS people are dying for This and nothing is getting done. He says the vanity plate is an homage to those fighting ALS. Let me this is a he says I used to love hiking and being outdoors now because of ALS. I can't even walk to the bathroom. He said I can't empty the dishwasher or put plates away. I can't grab coffee mugs from the top shelf bleep ALS. I try to button my pants or tie my shoes. Not going to happen bleep ALS. Like it's provoking conversations. It is. Then is telling people, I know this word might offend you, but how about we take offense that this disease is killing people and we need to fund research and do what we can to try to bring an end to it? That's a very, very interesting take or a very, very interesting kind of side element of what, you know, started off as a story about milf mobiles.

Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing of any kind of like when you're trying to raise awareness of something, whether it's a social justice issue or or, you know, funding for research on on a disease like that, people you're going to know what I'm referring to. But I don't want to get too much into it. But this idea that like you have to take some sort of stand that makes people uncomfortable. Otherwise, nobody's going to talk about it. And that's what we saw in the NFL. Right. People are like, you're protesting the anthem. No we're not protesting the anthem We're just doing this during the anthem Because if we didn't do it during the anthem You wouldn't notice it You gotta do something that people notice And that seems like that would be his argument there

Right and also these free speech These free speech conversations When you and I used to actually like Work in commercial radio I always kind of dreaded These like Slippery slope type of things When one person is doing something That just seems kind of dumb And like you gotta do this And then always the ACLU's involved which i actually tend to be a fan of the aclu's work but they're always like it's like the aclu is defending some neo-nazi it's like really we gotta like defend this guy's right to be terrible um but there are of course implications i do think what i used to always say when when i was doing those shows was i don't believe in slippery slopes which was sort of me just i guess trying to have a take but i guess what i think is what you should do is you should ban stuff that's obviously making the world a worse place and then if there's other stuff that isn't we should get together and talk about it this idea that if you ban a neo-nazi from having us pulling a sign around behind their car that says something hateful and that would incite violence towards other people i feel like we can say you can't do that and yet we might also be able to let the milf mobile have tits out you know like that's the thing about people like when there's somebody's doing something that like 99.999% of us agree sucks and should not be allowed to go on i i don't know if i buy the argument that we have to defend their right to do it so that i can have the right to stand on the corner and hold a sign saying um us out of foreign intervention which is came to mind because there's literally a guy who's been doing that every day for the last few weeks near my house um which is

like concern is i mean the pushback on this i'm not really making this argument but of course you know this the pushback is yeah but okay fine we decide that there is a line but then that means we have to have people who decide where that line is and i think that's where that's where yeah what makes some people uncomfortable they say well who are the deciders and it's sort of funny i think of I don't like slippery slopes. I remember talking about this with you back in the day, maybe even on the radio. I don't know. But, you know, it's interesting because isn't that almost what the courts do? The courts are kind of the arbiters of slippery slopes. I mean, it's only it's called precedent there. Right. Like you have to you have to set some sort of precedent so that we know where the where the boundaries are that we bump against.

Right. And I mean, the good news is that the current makeup of the Supreme Court is, you know, pretty encouraging, I think, for corporations. Not so much people who want to vote, but the political part is I want to keep people from voting. It's a really it's a beautiful time to be in that in that game. But, yeah, you're right. I mean, I guess this stuff does ultimately get kicked up to the courts and then, you know, depending maybe up to the Supreme Court. But I guess I just mean this. I don't there's I'm I'm sure someone in the audience who's a lawyer or just smarter than me, which would be most of the listeners. One of our listeners named Danny, who's a lawyer. One of the Danny lawyer, the team of Danny lawyers probably knows there's a legal term for it. But it's like this idea that, I don't know, this strict, this very strict adherence to this idea that, like, we have to defend free speech in every corner because if we don't, free speech will die in every place or something. It's like, I just don't, I just think practically speaking, I don't really think that's how things work. Like, we agree that you can't say, you can't yell fire.

are in a crowded theater so we have agreed that there is some speech that's not protected i mean there's lots of other speeches and protected either i so i don't know i guess it's just like i feel like there are some things that go on that we the again vast vast majority of the population can agree yeah that's not cool and the idea that we have to protect that because that's also a way of protecting someone who's just legitimately protesting the murder of george floyd i just I don't know I just feel like if we're all kind of on the same page and I know what you mean if you extrapolate the argument out you can go well then who's deciding and what is that council is that going to be a death panel then there's going to be death panels deciding what I can't say anything anymore right because of the woke

police I don't know I know I'm you know we should move on because I'm getting really really close to bringing religion and gay rights into this and the recent Supreme Court ruling and I don't think that's where we want TBTL to go today certainly not coming from my mouth so So I'm just – if you're wondering why I'm not keeping that hacky sack in the air, it's because I got this big boulder in my brain right now that we just need to move past. Do you think Matthew McConaughey could dislodge that boulder with a little – Maybe. I don't know that this is – I don't know that this is that much less complicated, but let's give it a whirl.

Well, that's the thing. Have you watched it yet?

I did, yeah.

I watched it too. This was another, I guess, the Chris Hayes, the sort of Chris Hayes' unpaid responsibilities on the show seemed to grow by the very day because he also sent us this and said, you really got to talk about this tomorrow. I watched it. I actually don't know how I feel about it. I went into it expecting it to be just the most cringeworthy thing of all time. It's Matthew McConaughey on Twitter saying, happy 245th birthday to America, hyphen, let's rock. he's got a ponytail these days I'm assuming that's for a role

I'm not sure I saw that recently too because he was you know he's also now the owner or partial owner of a new soccer club in Texas I believe the Austin I don't know their names but the Austin club and he had recently released a video on that and I noticed that he had a ponytail in that as well so maybe it's for a role

and he's got a book out and which he's I've seen him promoting it I saw him promoting it on graham bensinger which i forgot they're like three people who would appreciate my fire graham bensinger tweet that i had still yet to send but it's like that guy is such a mystery to me he is somehow getting the biggest stars in the world on his show and also his show appears to never be on i know we talked about this before but anyway mcconaughey was on his show recently promoting this book of his um and apparently mcconaughey has also got something called the just keep living organization because if you go to his Twitter page, it says official Twitter page of Matthew McConaughey and the just keep living or you have to say it that way. You cannot say it without slipping into an accidental McConaughey impression. Anyway, here is what Matthew McConaughey wanted to tell everybody on the 4th of July.

Happy birthday, America. Yes, indeed. As we celebrate our independence.

He's also wearing sunglasses that maybe they're prescription sunglasses. They're rose tinted. they look like something he would be wearing in a film while playing a character and that these glasses were were like sort of given to him to wear to give the character some

sort of extra I don't know oddness to them yeah I kind of like them I think that they're not for me I wouldn't wear them but I thought they were actually I did have a thought in the back of my head that they're kind of nice but they look very like this is this guy is

the drug kingpin of lubbock texas yeah in a movie that's set in 1982 yeah to me but maybe because i've been listening to this podcast that's about drug dealers in texas in the 90s who go missing called um cousins by blood by the way which is pretty decent so maybe that's just where my brain

is at right now today as we celebrate our birth as a nation a day that kick-started a revolution to gain our sovereignty let's admit that this last year's trip around the sun was also another head scratcher um but let's also remember that are you willing right now andrew on this podcast

for the whole world are you willing to admit that the last trip around the sun was a real head

scratcher let me ask you a question right here right now put on the poll luke garamo um that's you luke garamo um uh do you like it when people refer to a year as a trip around the sun i sure

do i sure do when you're on this this big blue marble taking another trip around the sun what's interesting to me about this particular statement that he makes is it seems to be the most matthew mcconaughey statement you could make which is there's really nothing being said here it sounds fuck it sounds vaguely motivational it also doesn't ever actually take a side in anything it's kind of it's just it's somehow both enthusiastic and yet bland I think Matthew McConaughey is a pretty good actor and I really like some of his movies by the way like it's not that's the thing in fact I don't know how I feel about him just generally and this speech is like this is the Matthew McConaughey of speeches I can't figure out how I feel about it, basically.

Last year's trip around the sun was also another head-scratcher. But let's also remember that we are babies. You know, as a country, we are basically going through puberty in comparison to other countries' timelines.

Now, I'll tell you this.

Some, but not, yeah.

When he said that, I was like, okay, well, now you stepped in it, Matt. because like that just sounds like you're saying whatever goes on in this country is fine because we haven't been around as long as france or what like no but then he button hooks me because he follows up by saying i'm not trying to make excuses um and we're going to go through growing

pains we are going through growing pains this is not an excuse to say this is just a reality

and see so now i'm mad because like this is my take is getting diluted by the second because he has said something that's like could kind of be like well matthew have you thought that through but then he comes back and he says i'm not trying to make it as an excuse um but you know and this

is good because we got to keep learning we got to keep maturing we got to keep striving we got to keep climbing we got to keep building and we got to make sure we maintain hope along the way as we continue to evolve why because it's who we are why because the alternative sucks i believe that america and you and i i believe we're an aspiration all right we're constantly in motion we're on the way trying to get wiser trying to get braver trying to dream more tell

you when it's hard to be braver reading a voiceover for a car stereo company in seattle not as easy as you think mcconaughey could do it he could do it behind the wheel of a lincoln

probably could honestly that guy what can't he do trying to do more trying to to to be more fair Take the right kind of responsibilities To gain the right kind of freedoms And we've got to keep realizing that we're a place Where Do you think that he has written this out

Or he is just Freestyling Robin Williams style

I think he had an idea Of what he was going to say and he's freestyling I think that I haven't really weighed in on what I feel about this So we can talk about it afterwards But I actually do not think it's I don't think it's I don't think it's incoherent or silly or as wacky as – you know, we've played tape of him giving motivational speeches to college football teams. And also you played that clip when you were introducing this of him saying some wacky stuff at the – I believe the Oscars, right? Yeah.

When you've got God, you've got a friend, and that friend is you.

Yeah, that's like, you know, like a Mobius strip of argument that doesn't really make sense, of nonsense. Yeah, this is not really a Mobius strip of nonsense. I actually think that, like, I'll just give you my bottom line on this. Like, I want to feel hopeful for this country again, too. I just don't know if rich white men are the ones who should tell us to still feel hope. And I don't think that, you know, and again, and I'm saying that as somebody who's hearing this message as a middle class white man, but also, like, who's he talking to here? When the bottom line of the message is we need to stick together and gut this out and find common ground, that's a lot easier when you're sitting where he's sitting as opposed to sitting where a lot of marginalized Americans are sitting.

Yeah, I agree with you on that. And also, back to his sunglasses. If we could focus on the important stuff, Andrew. I wonder if he picked these sunglasses and picked the particular tint because I can't get a clear read. i want to see a reflection if these were like some joe biden aviators i could see in the glasses if he was reading this off a script but i can't because of this particular style you can see some reflection he looks like he's looking out on the ocean or something or some beautiful landscape he means matthew mcconaughey he's very rich i'm sure he's in a nice place but yeah i can't quite tell if he's if he's reading or like i think you're right i think he had some bullet points and i also agree with you that it's like it's not fully incoherent and he never says anything unless upon re-listening I catch something I missed the first time he never really says anything that you can be that mad about because it's all just so kind of general you know

our individual pursuits and desires need to be appreciative and supportive of our collective responsibilities as Americans

he says appreciative I mean that's something we need to talk about

well that's Texas my friend I see that's you know that's how

That's how McConaughey says it. It's the United States of America. Sure, we're each unique. We're each independent. We each have innate abilities that others don't have as people and as states. But at the same time, we are all in this together. And if you don't purchase that, move on. Go somewhere else. So as we celebrate the red, white, and blue this weekend, let's be sure and just reflect just a minute. Take a little bit of inventory on where we've come from.

I did get a tiny, subtle kind of statement from him saying, I think, maybe, if I can read the McConaughey leaves here for a moment, that basically, because he's, like, you know, very aligned with the state of Texas. He's from there. He loves University of Texas Longhorns. And he's also in a state where, you know, Greg Abbott is constantly trying to, like, secede in one way or another. it sounded to me like he was kind of saying we got to like work as a unit here like i.e. you could read that to be him saying to these governors of states that want to essentially opt out of like everything that has to do with you know voting rights and vaccinations and masks and you name it like maybe we got to like we got to stick with the federal plan here did you get

a little sense of that and what he was saying there yeah you know that was the one line that i I did sort of I never like it when somebody says, if you don't like it, go somewhere else, because when you say that, because I've heard that like John Curley used to say that a conservative radio host that I used to that I was forced to do a show with for three months, even though it had been my show. And, you know, like he would talk about that. He would say stuff like that in regards to people who can't find work. Oh, you can't find work. We'll go over to this state. I have cousins there and they say that they can't fill these roles and blah, blah. I'm just like people have families. People have – there's a million reasons, especially if you're poor, why you can't just go somewhere else. But in this case – so I don't like that phrase. But in this case, I don't think he's saying that coming from a conservative point of view and saying, hey, if you liberals can't suck it up, this is the United States, go somewhere else. I think that what we heard there was frustration with, yeah, people like – people who are not accepting. I think that that was frustration that he was flashing there towards the more conservative elements. That's my interpretation.

Yeah, I feel like he is telling Greg Abbott. Someone's going to email us later some other interview that he did with Graham Bensinger where he just like was like, I stand with Greg Abbott. He's the greatest. I don't know. I don't know enough about Matthew McConaughey's politics. But this felt to me like he was saying to governors or leaders who want to like conservative leaders who want to try to like opt out of America because they don't like that Joe Biden is president or whatever. He was telling them, like, take a hike all in this together.

And if you don't purchase that, move on, go somewhere else. So as we celebrate the red, white and blue this weekend, let's be sure and just reflect just a minute. Take a little bit.

There is also, I will say this about his style of speaking, and I've dated people in like my very distant past, people that I've not even referenced on the show, lest people think I'm subtweeting anyone, who always will use just, it's not the wrong word, like as in it's like the definition is wrong or it's just not the right word for, when he says, if you don't purchase that, that's just the wrong word.

it's weird i liked that it's weird i liked that yeah because i mean you can you can have purchase

on something right well you i mean you could to gain purchase on something is of course to like what grab it in your hand or in your claw yeah but then i think i feel like the more standard way to say it uh would be like well if you're not going to buy in on that if you're not going to basically uh if you're not going to agree to that particular thing then this is not going to work but he's like if you don't purchase that like purchase feels like it's just one click off as far as words to use there but maybe that's what makes him so fun and entertaining is he's got his own kind of vernacular i gotta say yeah that i can totally see what you're saying

there i i mean so i'm not even like pushing back on that i can totally see what you're saying and i know this i know this complaint that you have generally speaking and i think that luke noise complaint sometimes right please could you write that down um because sometimes i feel like i slip into that a little bit i'm always using or for some reason my brain will always try to grab a word that's just slightly out of reach which i don't really love that about myself but um i know what you're talking about and in this case i don't know which it is is it him being because to me i took that as a just slightly poetic twist um on language but maybe it's not maybe it's him just kind of misusing a word and moving on no you're right though that that's what

makes language that's what makes people interesting is how they use language differently i mean you could write an ai program that would find the perfect word for every scenario and it wouldn't be very interesting to listen to what makes people unique and fun is their specific choice of words and that's what makes writing interesting and poetry and what have you. So you're right. It's not the wrong word there. It's not the word I would have chosen but maybe that's what makes it kind of fun. Inate abilities that others don't have.

I went back too far. Move on. Go somewhere else. While you move forward, can I tell you because it's related to something. I saw something on Instagram. It was a quote that was put out there by a listener of ours and I don't think it was their quote. I think this is listener Lena. I could have that name slightly wrong. But But they had put on their Instagram story a quote from somebody else that said something like – and the reason this stuck with me is because I'm so guilty of this and it's something I struggle with so much. But language – or the English language is a way of communicating, not a way of showing that you're smarter than other people. And you and I have gotten into conversations about that before.

It exclusively exists for me to prove that I'm smarter than other people.

Like, I've always resisted and I hate it so much when I see a word misused so often that the opposite of that word becomes a dictionary definition, you know? And I mean that literally and I mean that also sometimes about the word literally, how the definition of literally has changed because of the way it's been used in our culture. And, of course, part of my brain is, oh, yeah, language is beautiful. It evolves. And then part of me is like, yes, but I know what's right. And people who get it wrong shouldn't be rewarded. And I'm just trying to I think about that quote almost every damn day that like we're communicating here.

It's not me saying pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose saying, well, actually, well, actually, Andrew, I'm going to see if I can get you to purchase this argument. I very much understand and agree that the idea of language is to communicate. And, you know, anytime we used to have a regular, you know, grammar expert that would come on our show. I think her name was Jane Strauss. And I believe she passed away, which was quite a sad thing. But and what we would always hear from from our grammar expert when we would pose these questions or she would say, well, you know, honestly, grammar or language is about communicating. And if so much grammar is slightly off or word usage is slightly off, but you know what they're talking about. That's the point. That's the purpose of a language. So I agree with that at its most sort of basic level. I also think detail matters. That's, I think, what bothers me about rampant misuse of words or somebody saying I could care less. Because to me, and maybe this just comes down to the people I vibe with, like the people that want to say I could care less, they can hang out and be friends with a whole bunch of people who just aren't hung up on little details like that. But I know that somebody who says I could care less, I am not going to have as much in that as much in common with that person as somebody who says I couldn't care less.

What if they use what if what if they're they speak English as a second language?

Well, that's a whole different thing. That's because obviously, you know, that may be something that they haven't learned or Lord knows I don't speak any other languages. So, you know, cash me outside trying to use my Spanish and see how many mistakes I'm making. I guess what I mean, though, is like this is the weirdest comparison and it probably won't work. But like, I don't like it if politics comes up and somebody says, there's a bunch of criminals back there in Congress. It's a bunch of there's a bunch of crooks and liars. I hate that statement. Like it's one of my least favorite statements about politics because it's just not engaging with the topic. It's not nuanced. It's not paying attention to what's going on. it's not detail oriented it's just generalizing and like just kind of it's a way of just being like yeah whatever and if somebody and i'm not saying like listen i commit grammatical errors 400 times a day on this show i'm not saying that my like i am my language is flawless i'm just saying that i i feel like i tend to be more interested in hanging out with people and talking to people who notice details whether it's about a a john claude van damme movie from 1987 or whether it's about word usage or whether you know so i i don't think it's a very good look to be correcting people on their grammar or their word usage like online or even in real life uh like to say well it's this you know i mean that's a very particularly coming from like a white guy of a certain age and i don't i try not to do that but i will say that the idea of just saying none of it matters also kind of bums me out because i do i want to live in a world where we are at least somewhat keeping up with the details of what's going on yeah i think that

you know and again i started this conversation by saying that i i tend to do that like and i take pleasure in in when i know the nuance of of a word or that i use it correctly and other people don't but I think that I'm and again

And so I understand that instinct and I'm not trying to tell you how to feel or how to live your life or that I'm even right about this. But for me, like going back to that quote and just thinking about it and just thinking about, like, well, what am I trying to do with that? And if it really is like I'm summing someone up, there are other cues I can take as well. You know what I mean? Like if it's part and parcel, if there's somebody who's like kind of misusing language or using literally incorrectly, but everything else about them is just like totally groovy, well, then that's not going to bother me. But if they're, you know, but if they are somebody who's also like just like, you know, using shortcuts to thinking and the clowns down in Congress and everything like there's plenty of there's plenty of other context clues to take it from as well. I'm trying to not be just me personally trying to because as a not very smart guy who hangs out with a lot of smart people, I think for me kind of be a crutch to be like, look at that bozo. I'm trying to use bozo more. Look at that bozo doesn't know what literally means, you know. And again, that's just my journey. So I'm not trying to argue it one way or the other. But, again, I just think about that quote a lot. I'm trying to be more like that person.

Yeah. I think it's case by case for me. And for whatever reason, I attach it to this thing of, like, I'm going to have more in common with the person because I was trying to just basically talk about it just in my personal experience so as to not be too broad or, like, you know, assume how other people feel or something. You know what I mean? Like I was I was trying to think of an example that related specifically to me, which is the only thing I can talk about with any authority is like my experience. And you're right. There are lots of ways that you can develop a sense of or get a sense for like, oh, am I going to hit it off with that person? There are a ton of cues and like language is actually probably pretty far down the list. But I guess I just like I said. I'm not going to it's like it's weird. It's like I'm not going to judge anyone for for using the wrong word or making a grammatical error. Well, maybe I am. I'm not going to judge them as a human being on planet Earth or their value on this planet. But what I probably will think is, yeah, I'm not. That's not that's probably not somebody that I'm going to like totally, you know, connect with. Like if I were texting with someone, let's say I were it were a dating type situation and I met someone and I was quite interested in them and we were texting. And it was just their texts were rife with typos and just like, you know, misusing words and and and and all kinds of like, you know, little errors like that. That would be probably for me a sign that this was not somebody who I was going to be able to connect with. You know, what if they said Friye? Well, I mean, it would be like, where do I meet you for the second date? Right. Exactly. What if they stole Fri-A from their friend Bean, who somehow already had a more successful podcast, even though he and Ali only started it like one year ago? What if that's what happened? It's a good podcast.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man, it's not from a female.

All right. Quick email or V-mail, and then we got to get out of here because I got places to be and people to judge, Andrew.

By the way, just speaking of Bean's podcast, Cuppatina Chat, I was catching up on some old episodes yesterday, and he said something really sweet. I was listening to an episode that he recorded before he and I got lunch a few weeks ago, and he said this to us off-air before, but on the show he said some really nice things about TBTL. and basically that a lot of what they're doing on that podcast was directly inspired by TBTL and the things that you've been doing for years, Luke. We noticed, so I'm glad you're finally on the record. Sweet little tribute to us. I appreciated that. Okay, so I wanted to play a voicemail for you, Luke, in which someone poops their pants.

Hey, guys. We're in the middle of a heat wave. It's horrible. I pooped my pants today. So that happened. ultimately it was no harm it was pretty foul though and no one really needs to know but what fun would that be so i was uh holding open a house an open house for real estate and i needed to go right when it started but i was the only one there so nothing i could do so i was just putting on a grin and bear it um you know suck it up buttercup so to speak and i thought i was doing pretty good But then with a half an hour left, my bearing wasn't bearing it anymore. And I pulled my hands. So that happened. You know, ultimately, it's probably a good thing. 44 years old. It's bound to happen. It hasn't happened in 40 years. And it was a good time for it to happen because nobody found out and it didn't affect anybody. Could have been much worse. All right. Given the content, I am not going to end with power out. This is very much a good luck to all. I got you.

And also, you notice no name.

And I'm not asking the listener to call back with these details, but I would have loved to hear more details. Like, where in the house did this happen? Did you push it too far and then you were running to the restroom and it was too late? Were you standing in the kitchen gripping the sink with a death grip and realizing, I can't hold on this time? These are interesting details for me.

Are you describing a splurcha type scenario?

if you were a turtle what would you be saying in this situation what was the degree of intestinal distress but anyway um it seems like that person not unlike matthew mcconaughey has a pretty good attitude about um and a lot of perspective there so thank you for uh or calling in that's a really

i mean it sounds like this listener ended up feeling pretty okay about the whole scenario But I got to tell you, that seems like a real bad one to be in because even if, let's say, no one's at the open house yet, you go to use one of the restrooms. Let's say it's a larger house and maybe there's a few bathrooms. You go try to find the one in the basement and you use it and you really light the place up. If there is ever a scenario where people are going to look at every bathroom, it's an open house. like there's no chance like if you're at your regular house and you have a few bathrooms and you're having guests over you might be reasonably confident that if you used a way out of the way bathroom they no one would go down there no one's going down to the rumpus room bathroom for a while anyway but the entire point of being at an open house is to inspect literally every square foot of the house yeah yeah it's a tour there would be like so i understand why this listener couldn't just go use the one of the bathrooms or the bathroom in the house if maybe it only had one because you know for a fact people are going to walk through it.

Yeah, yeah, that's a real scenario too. We've talked before when we were working at radio stations. This is maybe a stretch of an example, but if you're in a studio by yourself recording tracks for two hours, you can never just let one little fart go because the second you do that, somebody's going to be walking into that room. It's a 21 fart salute. That's right, and somebody's going to be walking in that room. I just checked my email here, Luke, and I realized that about an hour ago, we got a fascinating email from someone. I am not going to read it now. I'm going to use this as a Ford promo for the next time David from the basement is on. This is an email from someone from David's past, and this is blowing my mind. And I'm sorry to be withholding, listeners, but stay tuned. I believe David will be on. We have to. Wow. I have to set up a page where people can start voting for the Song of the Summer submissions, which I'm going to work on that this week. And then once voting starts, we'll have David back on and we will share this with you. I'm sorry that I'm just teasing this, but I am very excited right now.

All right. I am, too. I wonder if even I will get to know what's going on with the same.

I'll tell you after the show.

All right. Or maybe don't. Is it better if I'm also surprised?

No, I want you to know because I want to talk to you about how to approach this.

All right. Well, that's, I think, going to do it then for today's episode, everyone. Thank you for spending this hour and a half or so with us. If you need me, I will be alternating between watching I Think You Should Leave Season 2 and the Seattle Mariners play the New York Yankees. I got a whole lot. And also working my seven other jobs. So let me tell you, man, when I slide down that dinosaur today at about 4 o'clock, Andrew, Oh, baby, I am, which is a real jinx for this Mariners game tonight.

Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, I'm, they're not doing so well, right? The Yankees, they're not having a good season, but I just feel like, I don't know, man, them coming to town, it never makes me feel good.

Yeah, I read that, basically it was a piece about how the Mariners are overperforming expectations right now, where I think five games over 500, and they said, this was before the homestand, And they said, you've got last place Texas coming in, and then you've got the Yankees who are in free fall. And I was like, you know what that means? The Yankees are going to find their footing. Yeah, exactly. They're going to find their footing the next three games because they always seem to against us.

But even so, it's a service we provide to struggling teams.

But I will, you know, we've got a lot of listeners in New York and we got a lot of Yankee fans. And, you know, we love we love all baseball fans of every team on this show. But I get frustrated Well, not really I get frustrated by the Yankees But it's also, I have to admit It's fun to have a team that you just loathe

Yeah

Because you circle it on the calendar Like when I heard, oh, the Yankees are coming to town It is a whole thing It wouldn't be the same if the Orioles were coming to town Peace and love to our Orioles listeners

Yeah, I love the Orioles

You notice that I'm stashing all of this at the way back of the show So we've gotten rid of most of the listeners by now so yeah we're okay well this is this is fun time this is a safe this is a safe space for us to talk about this but like it is fun to have a team that when you know they're coming to town you know even though i'm probably going to be really furious and angry at the end of these three or four games however long the series is it's fun to be hyped about something it's like freaking cersei lannister is lining her shit up outside the walls whatever house i'm personal or currently claiming and we know this is going to be a battle and we're probably going to come We're probably going to end up flayed. I know I'm mixing my Game of Thrones baddies. We're going to end up just Ramsey Bolton flayed out there on a stick. But it's still, you know, it's fun to feel alive, Andrew. It's fun to feel something for once.

Wow. Now I'm really not looking forward to it. I was flaying. I didn't realize.

Wait till they throw Dylan Moore through the moon door.

I want to watch Dylan Moore fly, mommy.

Make Mitch Hanegar fly.

Make Jane Fraley fly Former Modesto nut

I'm going to go out with a song called Tangerine We talked about this a little bit It's by the artist Steady Holiday Steady Holiday has a song of the summer In our song of the summer contest Slash Sorry I can't talk There is a Spotify playlist by the way Bouncing around if you want to listen to all What is it 16 songs In the song of the summer contest If you can't find it email me at andrew at tbtl.net or click on last friday's show page it's embedded there and i'll try to keep on circulating it on social media this is not one of the songs from this year this is an older song by study holiday called tangerine that i enjoy a great deal yeah and by the way we got friday's

show up onto apple podcast was like stuck i think it was stuck behind a fatberg from all of the right from all of the allegedly flushable wipes that we're all using so anyway that's up there now too thank goodness so everything seems to be working again so all right thanks everyone Have a great Tuesday. We'll see you tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. Until then, go Mariners, go eat a bagel, and please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Power out.