Muse

Shall we play a game? Here we are everybody. Day four of the TVTL Summer Games, a special continuation of yesterday's, I don't want to say competition, because it's not a competition. It's just a way of finding out how petty Andrew is, which is really, he's the only one who can compete with himself on that. Oh, by the way, my name's Luke Burbank. That's Andrew over there. Ironically, that was a petty open by me.

Yes, it really was. I was going to say, if you did want to win this, that would be a, you know, that should be one of the quiz questions, right? Like, how much do you want to win this?

Right. Like, do you low-key hope you get a less petty score than your co-worker on this? Like, will getting a more petty score than your co-worker on this leave you with a gnawing feeling? There should be a question on this quiz. This, by the way, is our annual Summer Games where we play some fun games the listeners have sent in. It also gives us a chance to take a little bit of time off. And so that's what we're doing while you're hearing this. Thank you very much to everyone who has submitted games, including listener Jamie in Mississippi. Boy, oh, boy, Andrew. I wonder what the temp in Columbia, Mississippi is right now. Probably a nice, cool. I'd say like 60s, low humidity, probably. Right. Maybe mid-60s. Anyway, Jamie sent in this quiz from How Stuff Works, which is how petty are you? And it took us a while But we figured it's not a quiz of How much you are like Tom Petty the singer It's actually just How petty are you in the world And we got about halfway through yesterday So we're going to do the last half of this today And then we will get a final score Of how petty we are How do you feel this is going so far?

I feel like it's great Honestly I'm glad that we've decided to spread it Over the course of two shows Because I feel like we'd be rushing through it otherwise And instead we've actually had some pretty thoughtful conversations. Maybe not quite as thoughtful as whether or not Tony Ristorante is a Levitar character or a Comedy Bang Bang character, but we have uncovered some other interesting stuff about ourselves. Also sounds like a Bob's Burgers character. Yes, yes, it does. Or for that matter,

a BoJack Horseman character. Yep. I could see a Tony Ristorante in any of those universes. All right, so we're going through this quiz. The last question we answered at the end of yesterday's show how would your friends describe you today we kick things off with do you often

have problems with people at school or work uh not ever sometimes often or all the time i think i gotta say sometimes like we have a weird work relationship here where we don't interact with a lot of our colleagues at 8 p.m in minneapolis st paul um but you know there are definitely like I definitely need to sometimes talk to you about like issues I'm having with you know some colleague or another or management or what have you and there are you know I feel like I definitely I definitely have workplace issues sometimes.

See, for me, answering this question is complicated because I have managed to build my life in such a way, my job life, that I just have so little interaction with people I work with that's not in a way that is pre-controlled by me so as to cut down on friction. In other words, most people that have normal jobs, they have to have 30 meetings a day, and it doesn't matter if it's that person who's a real pain in your side or whatever, ass. You just have to have the meeting. You've got to do it. You've got to get through it. You're having these challenges just present themselves. I work with you. You're a dream to work with. You do all of the – like 98% of the interfacing for our show with APM at large. So in that way, I've removed myself from potential friction. The folks at Livewire are just awesome to me who I work with, and I'm very lucky that my job mostly is to turn on this microphone and talk to my friend Elena and interview people. I'm very far removed from any of the things that would cause friction in my job life. So I don't have a lot of friction, but it's because I'm totally disengaged from anything that even risks creating friction for me.

You're such a pain in the ass that you've eliminated any opportunities to be somebody who's pain in the ass. That's right.

They've built elaborate systems at CBS. Anywhere I go, there's an elaborate system so that nobody says the wrong thing to me so that I just never. So I feel like I have no problems with people at work, but it's only because everybody else is doing all of the.

labor. So, well, I still just from personal conversations, though, just talking about work stuff, like I feel like sometimes like you've you've even kind of alluded to on the show and I you know, I will not and probably could not even go into detail. But, you know, even on the show, you've said that, you know, you've had to like really kind of I know you mentioned this recently, so I hope I'm not speaking out of school, but like had to think about your your communication approach a little bit because you're working with somebody who just like you were communicating differently and you had to really kind of work to think about how you were communicating with them i don't know if you know what i'm talking about but like i feel like i was this you no no um i i said what i said um only because i don't want to keep giving you know what i mean it's uncomfortable to try to remind you yeah it's not um but um so i i feel like you'd be in a safe place with sometimes because you gotta admit there's it's not that you never have any kind of an editorial headbutting with somebody at cbs over a story or you know that type of stuff oh i

think i know what you're talking about and yes i i that would i mean also in a multiple choice environment when sometimes is offered i mean that's like the prime rib at the buffet you're gonna take it yeah sometimes is the best catch-all because if you're like it's not never it's not all the time you know what it is sometimes yeah definitely

sometimes I mean ideally you know somebody could say not ever because it's like I am great to work with and I always just make sure that I'm available for everybody around me but like if we're being honest we all have we all have problems at work sometimes

this next one is going to be a big one for you Andrew because you and I talk about this all the time I know your BFF is getting married before you how do you feel

I just can't stand that i'm not first to get married i'm only 44 always the bridegroom wait that actually just

means the groom i think what he always the groomsmen never the groom andrew i'm gonna say

happy that's the options are how do you feel your bff is getting married before you how do you feel thrilled happy jealous or horny i'm gonna go i'm sorry that says angry i'm gonna go with um i'm happy you know i don't think i ever get thrilled about anything but um i'm happy i'm going with

happy happy is the safe answer thrilled is a little strong i've seen people get married when i was less than thrilled because i was like we'll see how this goes and then they suddenly realized i was talking to them what uh it was me all along no but like uh thrilled to be a little strong jealous would be inaccurate angry can't think of that one so I'm going with happy the next question

is how often you call people out this is another one where I kind of struggle with the language both in the question and the options how often do you call people out never only when they really deserve it it depends on my mood or all the time what I don't like is only when they really deserve it because I wouldn't say that I've never had to confront somebody about something that is maybe slightly uncomfortable to talk about but I'm not doing it because they really deserve it I'm doing it because I feel like the situation might really deserve it ideally I do not want to do I do not want to have awkward conversations with people about things but I mean there were literally times at KCRW where I I was the boss of four producers and so sometimes I had to call somebody out I had to sit down with them and I did it very gently we talked about it we did a we even did a somewhat famous role play based on that back when I was in LA on TVTL but anyway so I don't know what do you think about this question Luke well it's hard for me to answer

as well because I am prone to calling people out in that we already said this maybe was an earlier question on this quiz about basically pretending like you don't care about something and when I care about something I can't pretend that I don't. And if I'm in a room with someone and somebody is mistreating somebody else in my estimation or being rude to them or shirking their responsibilities and blaming other people or whatever the thing is, I am very, very, very, very bad at just swallowing, you know, kind of biting my tongue and just kind of going, well, you know, this other person will work it out for themselves. Ever since I was a little kid, I've had a very, very, very strong, I don't know if you'd call it hero complex or I'm going to be the person who makes sure that justice is served in this situation and so I feel like I can't say never because I've called I've called and also then calling people out that the question there is like who's in the right sometimes I'm probably calling people out I might be in the wrong I don't know is calling people out dependent on the idea that the person's behavior is We're going to go.

worthy of being called out or is it just how often do you lose your shit on someone because you're

just mad at what they're doing you know yeah i feel like that's where the personality quiz kind of aspect of this comes comes up again because it's like this is more of a test of how we see ourselves you know and so if you're being if you're somebody who let's just be honest if if this is leading us towards like you're a really petty person well the idea is a really petty person is sitting behind the keyboard right now and says i do it all the time because i'm right all the time and i'm a petty person you know but i i mean hey going back to my passive aggressive call out you know again of people like me kind of saying something to the person who was parked in the bike lane six months ago or a year ago or whenever that was i i'm gonna i'm gonna have to go as only when they really deserve it but i don't like that wording i i wish it just said right because that means that you are always in the right and i'm not and that and that it's only

when someone has truly pissed you off i'm going with it depends on my mood because i think if i'm in a bad place or if i'm feeling whatever the feelings are that i am and then somebody's treatment of me or somebody else happens on the wrong day i'm very capable of or i can tend to have a real like you know have it out with people in sort of a public format um but then on other days maybe i'm better at just kind of figuring like this is not a fight that needs to happen right now so i'm gonna go depending on my mood okay sounds good oh and has anyone ever called you condescending um wow that's a great one so you not ever day it's not that i can think of a few times it has happened you mean today i think it's well i wish there was something between it has happened a few times and you mean today yeah right that would be the accurate amount for me it has definitely happened it's definitely come up primarily in relationship dynamics for me about me being condescending um but it's not like it's it's not a daily occurrence but it's

it's more than a few times how about for you i'm struggling with this what do you think I don't think I'd ever – you would never be on the receiving end of condescension from me, I don't think. That's the interesting thing.

I think you have whatever the opposite of condescension is because even when you are in the right or you are talking about something where the ask that you're making or even this, the information that you're – because condescension usually revolves around – oh, here's a – how do mansplainers – Where do mansplainers get their water, Andrew? Where? Well, actually. I should have gotten that.

That's a pretty good spoof, right? Yeah. All right. I'm going to say, though, I can't say that I've never, ever, ever been condescending because I can think of one instance. Genevieve still razzes me about it about the time when one time she said when I was working at Cairo and she apparently – I'm just going to try to make this quick, so forgive the lack of nuance, but she said something like, well, maybe you could be a – maybe you could be a host or something and um I said she said I was just like so condescending I'm like that is not how it works producers do not become hosts and then eventually they offered me a show on the on the radio station and she always will throw that in my face about how condescending I was when I explained to her that that is not the path to host them so I will I will say not that I can think of because that's one instance that was like 10 years ago but um yeah because I think you

tend to go the other direction like you're about to say something that you actually do have the knowledge of but you'll preface it by saying I could be wrong about this or maybe this is just my experience I think you I think you tend to really try to not come off as a blowhard or condescending I think actively I think I probably am way worse which is why I put down a few times it has happened because it certainly has happened a few if not more times okay fair yeah Andrew, if you knew anything about how the schedule for these episodes works, you would know it's time for us to take a break. Well, actually, Luke, I was about to mention that we should take a break now. Well, that's weird because I've been emailing you that we should take a break, and you're not responding to those emails. So I don't know what's going on with that. I don't know what's going on with you. Now, tomorrow's quiz is how passive-aggressive are you? Petty and passive-aggressive are a little different, right?

I think so. But yeah, petty is like holding grudges and trying to get back at people and that type of thing.

Passive aggressive is the active – I mean passive aggressive is the active version of being petty though. So if you're petty, you're noticing that someone parked wrong. But then passive aggressive would be – I guess if you left a note, that's not passive aggressive. That's just aggressive. I'm trying to think of – passive aggressive would be you park really close to them and you block them in. But you don't say anything. You don't leave a note. You just – Park in a way that you know is going to make it harder on them but without any other kind of comment, right? Would that be the passive-aggressive angle of being petty?

Maybe. I think in this case maybe the real passive-aggressive thing would be saying, like, knowing that the people who parked like assholes were in earshot but saying to your partner, well, I guess some people just don't care about other people's parking experience.

I'll take some notes on that because that's actually a pretty good strategy. Yeah, no, it really is. It's beautiful. I've just been going with head-butting, though. police have been looking to talk to me alright let's take a quick break and then when we come back we will do how far into this quiz are we we're not even quite halfway through yet actually

we're one question away from being halfway through I believe so long

how do we get through this without we'll just have to tighten it up a little bit we gotta tighten it up a little bit yeah Andrew I'm gonna really need you to tighten it up actually Luke I was gonna suggest that to you well I suggested it first So anyway, I think the listeners can tell who's really thinking about how this show should work. Anyway. All right. Quick break. Then back with more TBTL Summer Games. Stay with us. Wow, this is a really passive-aggressive way, Andrew, to let me know that you're not going to acquiesce to my demands during this episode.

I feel like this is the Tom Petty song that is about pettiness the most. I don't know. I don't think petty is perfect word here, but, you know, you could see somebody who's kind of petty, like who's taking this quiz, but they just won't back down. I'm calling you out and I won't back down.

I am. We have to get to the rest of these questions. We have a lot of them, so I will not go into my meditation on the whole fact that, like, you know, Tom Petty's estate and Jeff Lynn's estate or Jeff Lynn and like Tom Petty or whatever. some people representing them sued sam smith right because he had that song um stay with me and it got sued oh yeah right yeah of course i was listening to some hip-hop song the other day and the guy is it's it's just a hip-hop song and then at some point he just literally starts going um like straight up now tell me are you really gonna love me forever like he just starts doing straight up by paula abdul in the middle of his hip-hop song i actually like it i haven't heard it's a popular song i can't remember i can't remember all the part of it that's not straight up yeah but it's just like i was like that's legal but it's that's almost like a cover though

right well then who gets the money i mean like do you have to to do a cover well we don't know these answers but to do a cover song so let's just say that i'm i'm in a or well you know who would know is prom queen celine like she just released an ep or she's about to release end of july right the britney stuff yeah it's called the ep is called lucky by prom queen coming out late july buy it support her um but uh it's a five song ep that's covering britney i don't think

she had to buy the rights they're cover songs but i think the publishing rights i think whoever wrote the song who has the publishing rights to the song that's the big thing it's not even who who was the singer of the song it's the publishing rights that's always what it's all about and i don't know how that applies if that just means when these songs get played on radio or in commercials the person who wrote the song and has the publishing rights gets uh more of the of the the proceeds from that i don't really know how this all works but i just find it weird that like you know uh pharrell and and robin thick had to give all the money from you know uh from that blurred line song to robin uh marvin gay's estate but then this rapper is just singing straight up by paula abdul but that's not we haven't heard any lawsuits around that there's something in there that i don't that i'm not fully grasping well i don't know i could retort but let's not

Let's continue with this quiz.

Yes. Good call. How do you feel when bad things happen to people you don't like? Oof. I feel psyched.

It says, I like pretty much everyone. Oh, my God. Who answers that? How do you feel when bad things happen to people you don't like? I like pretty much everyone. I feel bad for them. I feel kind of happy or I feel psyched? Question mark. um it is true that i don't have a long list of people that i don't like but if i truly don't like you and i think you're a bad person i'm gonna feel kind of psyched if you have a comeuppance

absolutely yeah i um i told you one time well this i didn't actually feel psyched so this might actually belie my point but i was on the freeway and a guy did a real uncool move on his motorcycle you know some harley type deal where he was like trying to change lanes and the motorcycle was super loud and he was like cutting me and other people off and he was just being a real jerk and i remember thinking it'd be fun to see that guy fall on his butt and

Two minutes later, dude wiped out. This is on I-5 by North Seattle Community College. And he didn't, like, he just landed. It was very weird. He landed on his butt, and he skidded. So it wasn't, he didn't go ragdoll. Yeah. But it was insane. I was like, did I manifest that with my mind? Like, he's zooming past us. He's doing all this stuff. And I thought, man, it'd be funny to see that guy fall. And he literally wiped out on his bike. And he got onto the shoulder, and he was sliding on his butt. So, like, the point is, the guy didn't die. But it was very strange to have that happen as close to when I thought, boy, it'd be funny to see that guy fall.

Did you then say, boy, it'd be funny if I had a million dollars? Hey, yo. Yep, I got to go with psyched. I hate to say this is my most petty answer. But sure, absolutely. And I fantasize about bad things happening to my foes. Not that I have foes, but you know. This next question, how would you look in a crown? I have no idea. Silly, pretty good, or amazing. silly right there's no other answer i would yeah i would look like biggie no i would look silly

who in the world yeah uh like who would think that they would look good in a crown also i wonder how that's considered a measure of pettiness yeah yeah i think this is just like

again like giving somebody an opportunity for somebody who's really thinks that they are just the cat's pajamas um a chance to flex a little bit so let's not waste a lot of time on that since we still have a lot of digging to do here. Do you do a lot of subtweets? Now, for us, should we consider subtweeting kind of sort of subtly talking shit on the show and not really, you know, mentioning the person specifically? Because you and I, I don't think we literally subtweet a lot, but I think this is trying to get at something different.

Right, which is like, I would say not usually because I think we are, you and I have a few petty conversations off air, But I think on air, we generally try not to just because it's not a great look and it's just kind of not worth it. And we can get we can we can sort of get that emotional itch scratched, you know, by just talking to each other about whoever our foes and haters are. So I would I think not usually is is an accurate way to describe my relationship with that stuff.

Yeah, I think that that is I think that's fair. And then this next one, I think, will be a pretty easy one for us, too. Well, I think, maybe for me, you texted your bestie hours ago and haven't heard back. What are you thinking? One, I think my friend is busy. Two, I hope my friend is okay. Three, I think my friend is mad at me. Four, I think my friend is no longer my friend. I think I'm benefit of the doubting most people.

I'm not. I think my friend is mad at me. Really? If it's somebody, now you have to understand, It would have to be somebody who – and this could be friend, wife, whomever, child. If it's somebody that I text a lot with and their response time is always like pretty quick, somebody who tends to have their phone around them. Funnily enough, Andrew, I will say this. If I text you and I don't hear back, I don't take anything away from that other than you didn't look at your phone or you didn't see it. because of the ways that I can reach you, text is the one that unless you're sitting there like watching the Mariners and you have your phone with you, text is the one that you will usually see last in my experience.

Yeah, it kind of depends. Yeah, but I am not, I don't live on my phone. I mean, it's funny. I mean, I'm looking at my phone a lot, especially like you say, during a Mariners game, all I'm doing is watching the game and then seeing what people are tweeting about it. But like, yeah, I don't think I have the same relationship with my phone. And I am just, let's just say it, like I'm a bad texter, whether or not I can justify that by saying I'm not addicted to my phone or not. Like, I have friends, I have family members who get kind of frustrated with me because, like, now I have to really make a point sometimes of texting somebody back because they've told me that it hurts them when I don't. And I just kind of figured that we all had a pretty casual relationship with texting. I didn't know that there was such an expectation.

Well, just so you know, I don't have that expectation of you. But if it were somebody – if Camaro Kev and I were texting and then I texted him something and then I just didn't hear back from him for six hours, I wouldn't know what the explanation was. But I would – the thought would go through my mind, oh, man, are they pissed at me? Or when I've been in relationships with people and I text them and they don't text back for a while and I know they're like, you know, not just like camping in the Himalayas or something. My mind very quickly goes to, oh, shit, what happened? Like as in what did I do that made them mad or who did they get a call from about something I said or whatever? Like I go to this person is mad at me pretty quick.

Yeah, you know, the more I think about it, like, I just don't, if I text Camaro Kev, in fact, I texted him that, remember a listener wrote in to give us the backstory on that Zap song and how somebody from the, it was a Charlie Wilson, whoever's in the Gap band was singing it. Like, I texted him, I just texted him a screen cap of that and sent it to him on Sunday and I was busy. I was in the middle of something else. And then I texted that to him. And then I saw later that he responded immediately with like three texts full of details. And then I never texted him back because I was like, OK, that. And then I saw him later. He's like, did I text you too much? And I was like, oh, no, I thought that was just the yet. Yet if I were to text him and he didn't get back to me literally at all with that, I wouldn't even be I wouldn't even be upset. I'd be like, oh, yeah, he didn't. It didn't interest him. Like, I don't know. I just don't think I have for whatever reason. I don't have that expectation with anybody, even Genevieve. If Genevieve doesn't respond to my text right away, I'm like, oh, she's not looking at her phone right now. Like, I'm pretty chill about that.

So I think also that's because you live your life in a pretty exemplary way. So, like, I'm being serious. Like, you know, I don't think you're worried about what skeleton flew fell out of what closet, you know, or what what what text did this person see that maybe wasn't for their eyes or whatever? Like there's just no – or what did I say to one of our friends that a different friend might have gotten wind of and, I don't know, been offended. But I just think I'm generating more things that could make someone mad at me on a daily basis than you are. Or maybe you think you are. That's also possible. Do you ever ditch your friends when you are out?

Yeah. But to be by myself, though, not to be with other friends.

yeah um i don't think i have done that i don't think i do that very often now yeah you know

i don't just a heart yeah i think that they're talking about ditch your friends to go do something more fun i don't think that accurately depicts what i do i will ghost but just so i can go back and go to sleep or something i think this indicates that like there's a better party

somewhere and they're not invited we have a friend who we used to call better deal um and And I think this person is no longer doesn't do that kind of stuff as much. But it was a thing when we were younger, we're like 10 years younger, where it always felt like this person was kind of analyzing the situation. And maybe it was because I think they were single at the time. And so maybe it was like, is there a thing happening where there might be some romantic opportunities, et cetera. But like, yeah, I wouldn't call you better deal Walsh, you know, because I guess for you being home asleep or playing your video game,

is a better deal but but it's not and then i just yeah i forgot about better deal at first i thought this is somebody i didn't know but i think i know what you're talking about but then i also just

generally like being around people so when we were all hanging out the other night and it was like we went to the ball game and then we went uh and had a drink in greenwood and then we ended up back at your guys's place i just like i'm having fun i really like all of you so that's just for whatever reason not how my brain is wired i'm usually if something's happening and it's people i like i'm

really into that thing you know i'm gonna go not on purpose do you ever ditch your friends when

you're out i'm saying not on purpose yes i've gotten so faded that i've like you know been sleeping in an alley behind polyesters which by the way burned down the other day but oh yeah um by the seattle center it was a place that was called the culture club and polyesters and it was a dance a dancery that had 80s music on one floor that was paul that was um the culture club and then 70s music on another floor that was polyesters yeah yeah i remember you guys you and Kevin both have told me stories of your days there yeah if your significant other forgot your

birthday what would you do why is one of the options not secretly be happy the options are I'd laugh it off I would be upset but I would forget about it I'd act really upset or I'd mess with them about it forever I got to say if we're talking about literally my significant other if Genevieve specifically forgot my birthday I'd actually probably mess with her about it not that I care but I actually think it would be really funny because I don't care so deeply about my birthday but I would love the idea of razzing her about it yeah I guess I'd say I would laugh it

off because again I'm like you like I just and maybe this is birthday privilege because I'm I come from a large family and I'm lucky to have a lot of people who love me and so when it is my birthday and we've got the tens for that matter when it's my birthday there's not a shortage of people wishing me well which is really a lucky place to be in particularly considering how we've talked about loneliness and other things on the show of late but i genuinely think that if i were to get up and my significant other were to not mention it was my birthday all day i would be so unfazed by that i mean i guess what it would be it's not it's like i was talking about on the real show a couple of weeks ago about the guy who was driving the lift who was totally uninterested in the fact that we had driven through the outback in a hyundai santa fe i would be curious about it only because it would be surprising to me that it had skipped their awareness or that they you know but only purely from that kind of like that perspective more just like bemused like oh wow that's that's interesting but on no level would my feelings be hurt on no

level would i be sad on no level would i be like wow they don't care about me because i mean i forget people's birthdays all the time i've been having conversations with people who will mention oh we're gonna go get some dinner later the thing oh that sounds fancy oh well it's my birthday today and i'm like so embarrassed because it's their birthday and it's my mom but like i'm literally forgetting three birthdays right now uh do you ignore texts if you are mad at someone

I'm having trouble with this one because I don't spend a lot of time being mad at people. And those people that I am mad at are not usually people that I'm in a texting relationship with. But I think that if I say no, what is the point? I don't think that's an honest answer because I can't say that I've never been holding some sort of a grudge maybe against, you know, whatever. I don't want to get into it. Like just some sort of a grudge with somebody and a text would come in and be like, well, I don't really think I'm going to spend my energy, you know, pretending that things are okay or just glossing this over. So I'll say, do you ignore texts if you're mad at someone? I'm going to say sometimes, but I don't know if that flies in the face of everything I just said earlier, where I said, don't worry about it if I don't text you back. I mean, 99.9999% of the time, if I'm not texting you back, it's just because I didn't think it was expected or I didn't see it. I literally saw a text from Phyllis 24 hours late yesterday, which was a cute picture of her and Gus. So I was not mad at – I was sort of mad at Gus, but not Phyllis. Yeah, he knows what he did. Exactly. So I guess I'll say sometimes, but God, it's rare.

I say usually But this is I also am capable Of just ignoring a text Because I didn't see it Or because I thought Oh I'll respond to that And then I just got distracted But my response If somebody is blowing my phone up And there's some kind of Tension Or argument My response is now To not respond Until later Which actually I think Represents some growth for me Yeah sure I'm not in a lot of like Flaming All caps arguments On texts with people In any part of my life Which is good I'm glad that that's not a daily I mean you see people or you know people That are like always in Some kind of conflict with people And it just seems exhausting And certainly there have been times in my life where I've been In more conflict with people than I am right now I'm too depressed To be in conflict with people No no it's fine it's alright I mean just when you don't text me back it's just kind of

Sorry dude you're Your Mariner's joke was very funny Shed long

It was a long shed. I tried to find a longer shed than John's because I thought we could keep upping the joke. Anyway, I'm glad to say that the way my life works right now is like if somebody, even if it was like Addy or somebody, or you for that matter, if somebody were to send me a text and they were clearly really upset with me and they were also behaving in a way that struck me as like maybe kind of like over the line or triggered, my response would be to just put my phone away and kind of like not even deal with it until probably the next day because of not wanting to get drawn into any kind of really vicious back and forth because i know that's like doesn't help anybody yeah yeah so all right we are almost in the home stretch has anyone ever called you passive aggressive yes definitely i am a passive aggressive person

i'm the options are not ever not for real i don't think i get that sometimes and i get that all the time i'm gonna say i get that sometimes unless you talk me into increasing it to all the time i don't think i'm passive aggressive all the time but i think it's something that i really

have to work to overcome i i know this sounds like an extreme position but i'm going with not ever but there's a reason it's because i am passive aggressive hold the passive like if i do something it's and i act out or i get into it with someone it's usually aggressive you know it's not it's not passive aggressive like that's kind of the problem passive aggressive has its own frustrating kind of dynamic to it but at the end of the day no one's head butting somebody out of the mandarin gate right so i i kind of feel pretty confident saying no one's ever called me passive aggressive because that would in a way be a compliment that would be an upgrade from where i have historically resided on the aggressivity scale okay next question i think is a good

flows well from there do you pretend you aren't mad when you really are um i would say sometimes i

do just push those feelings deep deep down into my toes see i would say not usually because again i'm triggered and this is the problem for me if i'm mad there's a good chance i'm triggered and if i'm triggered i am probably not thinking clearly i know i just said i will wait on like an angry text but if someone's talking to me if i'm in line and somebody were to like start an argument with me or be aggressive towards me generally speaking if i'm mad i'm gonna probably let them know it although and maybe this is my growing edge andrew i didn't with the guy who got mad at me for whistling yeah maybe maybe maybe i'm maybe i'm changing well that's why not usually is a pretty yeah i think not usually is is pretty good yeah you could you could also say know why would i do that but has anyone ever called you histrionic no i'm not like that at all no i can't stand history that's actually kind of funny no i can't stand history maybe a few times they better not have i'm gonna go with no i'm not like that at all i only get in fights with

marine dowd and other people at the new york times which is one of the only places i ever see the word histrionic everyone at the mensa everyone at the mensa get-togethers described me as histrionic that's such uh that is just such a boutique word the idea that the average person taking this howstuffworks.com quiz would be being called histrionic it's like you're running with

a pretty literate crew yet would histrionic be would some of these violent outbursts that you've talked about in your past would that be would you put that under the emotional umbrella of histrionic

I'd have to remind myself of really what the definition of histrionic is.

I think it's like, isn't the root word hysterical? Am I wrong about that? Is it kind of...

Overly theatrical or melodramatic in character or style. A histrionic outburst. I mean, I have been histrionic at times. So, okay, fine. I'm going to say maybe a few times. I'm sure when I yelled at our friend group in Vegas, I'm not the cruise director! Yeah, that's actually histrionic.

If they had the words for it, they might have said he's being a little histrionic. If Genevieve was there, she would have had the word for it. She's not invited. Do you enjoy, because she'd accuse you of being histrionic and you will not have it. Do you enjoy throwing shade? I don't even know what that means. No, I feel guilty. If I'm in the right mood or yeah, I love it. So I think this means not like behind somebody's back. This is like literally like, you know, not literally, but it's like, you know, you're going to, I think, right? I mean, this is complicated, I think. I don't throw a lot of public shade.

I really don't, which is weird. I throw a lot of private shade. So if we're saying throwing shade is kind of – although I don't know. You know what? No, I'm sorry if I'm in the right mood because I throw shade on this show. I just throw it at what I feel are worthy targets like the former president or people who don't want to get vaccinated. I think that's all shade throwing. So, yeah, I throw shade. What do you think for me? Less than I do. I feel like I try to give everybody the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah, so I don't even know what that means, or no, I feel guilty. I know what it means, although my conversation here might indicate that I don't have as strong of a grasp on it as I thought. But I'm going to say no, I feel guilty. Whatever. That's close enough. We don't have time to get into the word choices of this quiz. What is your favorite movie? What are we doing here? And why do I only have these four favorite movies to choose from? Dazed and Confused, which actually was my favorite movie for a long time, so that'll probably win. I loved that in high school. I watched it almost every day. Dazed and Confused, Clueless, Sixteen Candles, or Mean Girls. I will go with Dazed and Confused. I'll go with Mean Girls. That's a pretty good movie.

Just because that's a pretty damn good movie of those on that list. What do you think of Paris Hilton? it says oh luke oh no i heard the disgust this is a trick andrew this is a trick the anger i'm feeling at the first possible response is defining me as a petty person what do you think of paris hilton i could care less oh so you care somewhat they mean i couldn't

care less so i'm gonna go with that but you're absolutely right they it means it should be i

couldn't care less i the thing about that is and we gotta we've got to wrap this up here but like oh we're getting close i couldn't care less as to say is that is that almost like when your mom would say i don't care what you do or is that just kind of like i don't spend a ton of time considering paris hilton i don't hate her i don't love her i'm just kind of i think it's that because

look it's i could care less i hate her i like her or i love her like it's pretty clear that it's like i don't care about paris hilton she doesn't the idea of paris hilton like being popular and being in reality TV shows does not make me mad. It does not make me happy. I do not have hate. I do not have love. I just do not care.

Yeah, that would be my description, too. I would be, I am neutral towards her, leaning towards generally positive, believe it or not, because I feel like she's been through a lot. She, you know, it's, you know, like disliking Paris Hilton or the Kardashians is not a personality.

Yeah, that's the thing for me.

I think I, yeah, I, the funny thing is,

is I don't know if she's, yeah, I don't know about, I mean, she has been through a lot. She's also the pinnacle of privilege in a lot of ways. But, like, to me, like, yeah, I think that I dislike people. Well, I shouldn't say I dislike people. I dislike people hating on the Kardashians and Paris Hilton more than I hate the Kardashians and Paris Hilton.

so sure it just that's like that people have just expended so much energy on hating these folks where it's like you just you can just look away like i have been looking away it's why i don't

remember anybody's name i never knew it do you mimic people when they're not around sometimes i've heard about your famous luke burbank impression oh look at me i don't want to be

cruise director anymore guys that's like four different that's four really accurate i just slid through like three characters put me on bang bang um yeah not ever call him andy big hands

andy big hands is here he's a circus clown also

that's the name of the show all right i'm gonna write down andy big hands because i need you to

why don't you try to answer this question do i mimic people when they aren't around I don't think so But just because like I can't do Andrew I can't do a Camaro Kev impression I don't have an impression of my friends Well Clinton's never been around When you've done your And also no one's ever seen me and Clinton in the same room Well that's not true There are some people Who I have Maybe it's just not a regular activity I mean there are people in our work Universe Andrew both our current work universe and our previous work universe where, you know, if you and I were together having a couple of Bruce Stoyevsky's, I might kind of, like, do my, like, patter that sounds to me like the way that those people might sound in conversation. But, so it's, like, and it would be if they bug me. It would not be from love. So I'm going to go, if they bug me, I do.

Should I go with that or not usually? I think you're not usually. I'm going to say not usually, although, you know, the fact that we say play in this space a lot, that didn't that didn't not come from imitating somebody. So, OK. Have you ever replied? Who is this to a text when you knew who it was? Whoa. No, but I think in the past, I don't know if I've done it as one of the answers. I love the idea of of like pretending you don't know somebody's name to knock them down. like if you're like meeting somebody again for the for the second or third time and you just say and you pretend like you've never met them before it's a good way to knock them down although i

don't know that i've ever actually done that i have the opposite problem which is that i will get texts occasionally on my phone and i don't know who it is and i feel very very bad that this person has my info and i'm going to have to like say oh wait who is this and i've even had somebody recently i don't remember who it was but somebody they texted me and i said oh hey i don't i don't have this number on my phone who is it and then they apologized for reaching out as if it were like oh i shouldn't be using this line and i was like no no i just wanted to put it you know put it in my contacts that's what i hate is when i get a number i don't recognize because then i have to do that big dog move of literally saying i'm not i mean or i can try to have a text conversation that goes on long enough that they reveal who they are through something they say and then I can just put them in as a contact and pretend like they were always in there yeah but I've I've played that game before which is a dangerous one but now I usually just say like oh hey who is this I try to keep it really cash but it's definitely a way of establishing I mean unintentionally but it very much establishes like who's who's given more thought to this particular

relationship yeah yeah so i well you you're a hard no on this then because you don't want to hurt people's feelings well of course that is the that is the difference though this is specifically like is there anybody in your life who might text you and you would purposely try to hurt their feelings by saying who is this and it sounds like you're either no that would be mean or why would

i do that there might be well if somebody who i knew texted me and they were doing they were they were themselves already doing a joke like a shtick of some kind and I thought it would be a funny response to them even though they would know like if I thought there was a real chance that they would think I didn't know who they were I wouldn't do it but if it was like my friend Graham so from our fantasy baseball league if Graham texted me something and he's like a very funny guy if he texted me something funny or if Joe Gerlitz did from our league I might think of respond to them by saying oh who is this acting you know confused but they would know that i knew it was them so like the joke it would be a joke but it wouldn't be something where i would think

they would realistically think i literally didn't know who they were speaking of i just checked our fantasy i had not opened the fantasy app for like four days and i suddenly had a panic yesterday and i opened it up and i saw nope we were still at 61 points in third place like we have been for weeks but then i made some changes and and moved some things around luke i had to get rid of Segura. He was on the aisle. And we needed somebody. But we've gained two. and a half points still in third place also work this is airing weeks later okay so um do you screenshot things just in case you might need them later how did you answer that did you wrote

all the time did you how did you answer the last one why would i do that or no that would be mean i do that oh the last one uh no but that is funny okay that's what i did too no but that's funny okay do you screenshot things just in case you might need them later like what i don't get it no that is strange i have done it before or i do it all the time i have done it before i almost feel like i do it all the i don't say i do it all the time i'm just a paranoid person yeah i do it all the time like i told you on the show now it's gonna be several weeks ago but like i was so paranoid about dropping off your bag of equipment and more importantly the only keys to the van in Arizona and I was dropping that off in your empty hotel room I was so paranoid that something could possibly happen and I just wanted to be so clear that no I promise you I left it here so I took a photo of the bag and the keys sitting on your bed just in case anything happened so I mean I feel like maybe I gotta go with I do it all the time I think I'm I'm screen grabbing but this is a pettiness quiz I feel like this is more like somebody texted you something and they were um Saying some shit about you or something So you screen cap it so you can get them back later I've got the receipts

But I do that too I'm big on Anytime there's an email that I'm sending To someone or some entity And I think Oh this may be something that comes up later Or there may be some disagreement about what was said I will BCC myself on the email Yep Just so I have a copy of it too Also there's a copy on my sent folder But for some reason that's not sufficient like so i'll just be like i'm always doing stuff like that screen capping things or even on my phone i'm sure you have a version of this on your phone where you can just take a picture of everything that's on the screen of your phone yeah yeah i'll do that i do that i just don't ever want to be in a situation where someone is saying i didn't say that and i'm like yes you did and then i can't prove it which again in our digital day and age is so unlikely that that would happen but i think that that does speak to a certain pettiness uh or a certain distrust for people in situations that i'm always like tracking the receipts and it never comes up it's never a thing where i have to fight this out with someone it's just an it's just a habit at this point yeah

yeah okay i'll i think i'm gonna go with all the time but i don't think i'm trying to trap people

but i'm gonna go with all the time why not okay i've hit end of quiz and i have my results of

how petty i am i'm literally screen capping the photo that i got i don't know that i can use it because it's clearly labeled as a Shutterstock photo. Screencapped mine. There it is. This is so funny. What did you get? I got free-falling level of pettiness. I got down in Mississippi, didn't I?

They said, I am pretty petty. Pretty petty. Let's be honest. You have a fair amount of pettiness in you. When someone in your life lets you down in a way, you get a little loud and dramatic about it, and you are always threatening to cut someone out of your life. Actually, I have done that before. you could probably change but do you want to nah being petty can be fun that's what i got how about

you i'm gonna read mine to you but i really also want you to see the photo did you get a photo of a like a person that goes along with yours yes what does that person look like she's a young

like appears to be asian american girl who's kind of giving side eye okay i have like i have a white

guy i just sent it to you who looks kind of like maybe a european soccer player but his hair is like is like wicked back and he's and he's kind of got a widow's peak and he's kind of grimacing into the camera it is so weird and i don't know how it represents pettiness but um my answer is you see it's like an off-brand david beckham i'm gonna try to i'm gonna try to see if i can use that although i don't know if taking a screen cap of the shutterstock makes it rights free anyway no one would describe you as actually being petty but you have your moments from time to time you don't throw shade at people often or talk behind their backs but sometimes when you hang out with friends you get into it a bit actually that's kind of that's kind of a description of what i was saying before hmm maybe it is your friends who are petty and you better watch your back wow that might be a little bit more kind to me than i deserve but i'll take it i'll be honest with you

I didn't see me getting more petty than you. If anything, I'd see like a tie maybe.

Yeah. I felt like we were kind of in the same place. I think there were just a couple early on that you sort of mentioned like the whatever thing or maybe a couple of others of, yeah, like more tense moments with people that your reaction on just a few questions, your reaction in some situations would be more intense than mine. And the rest, you and I. were pretty much in lockstep on so that's probably how it happened i i will admit that that that description might be slightly more um a little bit more flattering than reality but hey man well we did the quiz yeah we did the thing is to being i think petty being petty really if you think about

it what it just means is keeping score of things being aware when somebody is overstepping their bounds or getting over on you or somehow causing you to have a bad feeling that's what the underlying thing of pettiness is. I have that in spades. That's, I mean, that's a, that's been an issue for me generally in my life is a major scorekeeping, like in relationships, be they romantic or otherwise of being kind of like, like, you know, if someone's truly being loving, the thought would be, they wouldn't be keeping score super closely. It'd just be kind of like, yeah, you know, like when you go out with your friends and like, yeah, sometimes you get the bill, sometimes they get the bill. That's how it works out. Well, funnily enough, in that one example, I am generally like pretty whatever about it but but in a lot of other ways and by the way thanks for the drinks

the other night that was really nice yeah yeah no problem thanks for dinner the two weeks before

that in a lot of the places um in a lot of other places i am very petty so it makes sense i guess i don't i guess i confuse petty and passive aggressive and so when i'm taking a quiz about pettiness i'm thinking well i'm not petty i'm not sneaking around leaving you know notes on people's cars but that's not that's petty plus passive aggressive i'm petty plus aggressive

yeah i'm definitely passive aggressive that's another quiz we could take or this other one that is now suggesting to me what emotion is your subconscious hiding i don't think i'm ready for that oh no oh that'd be the last show please the last show ever yeah that's what i mean all right uh all right want to take a break and we'll come back and reveal the next song

of the summer wait that's not what we're calling it no we're calling them summer songs from the mcdonald's rocking classic series what have you selected uh today um this is off of i was gonna

dial it up but i just lost my internet connection i think it's coming back but um barbara lewis singing the song baby i'm yours this of course is now theo don't bite me i know you want to be petted i stopped petting theo for a second and so he turned he kind of not not bite he just like kind of like he's like i want the attention uh this is of course from loving classics so these are like love songs of course and so you know this song baby i'm yours barbara lewis beautiful song

all right it's a beautiful song i love your song to me it's a beautiful song um andrew toyota delica driving down cooch street with fog light covers on by the way oh i'm looking at

Track those fog light covers.

They know what happened to the other ones. All right. That's going to do it for today's show. Thanks for listening. Guess what? We'll be back here tomorrow with another summer game. So please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

In other words, until I die, baby, I'm yours.

And I'll be yours until the sun no longer shines Yours until the poets run out of rhyme

In other words, until the end of time

I'm gonna stay right here by your side, do my best to keep you satisfied. Power out.