Muse

If you make a mistake, it's all right, you can fix it. And you don't need to worry, because we can fix our mistakes. And like my dad made a mistake with the coffee maker, and we were able to fix it. And sometimes when you write, you can fix it. And it's all right when you make a mistake. You can fix it easily.

TBTL!

Kids and Fantasy. Are you ready to hear a really terrible podcast? All right, strap yourself in. Here we go. Hey, you gonna finish that freaking croissant?

In this business of show, you have to have the heart of an angel and the hide of an elephant.

I would just like to start by saying that I don't even care how this turns out because I'm just going to eat hot dogs. And so that's all I really care about.

Stop talking, get off the phone, and let's do this. Let's do this immediately. Let's go.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. That's a tuna, bro! My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

You're still doing a podcast?

Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky, above Portland, Oregon, where... It is already very warm.

Things are gonna get hot. They're going to get funky.

We're looking at about 104 degrees projected temperature today. And we've already had one rolling brownout today here at the Nest Broadcast Center where the power sort of went out for a minute, I think, because everybody's running their AC. And the other rolling brownout involved an accident that I had. But I'm just here to talk about what's going on with the power in my apartment building. I'm actually getting an error message on my screen right now that says there's some kind of a connection issue. But hopefully you're all hearing me here on episode 3487 in a collector series. Had to get out early for my morning yog today.

I feel warm and I'm levitating.

Even at 7.30 was quite spicy out there. I had to take my t-shirt off on the jog, so I want to apologize to everyone in Portland who had to witness that nightmare. We have a great show in store for you today. It's episode, like I mentioned, 3,487 in a collector's series. We've been talking a lot about this announcement from Jeopardy that they're going to have two hosts. But you know what? That was kind of BS yesterday. Well, we know you're good at lying. When you get down into the fine points of the actual deal with this dude, Mike Richards, and then Mayim Bialik of the Big Bang fame, and to people my age, Blossom fame, there's some details about what they're actually going to be doing that I think are worth noting. Also, speaking of questionable broadcast choices, has Rudy Giuliani managed to avoid the siren song that is appearing on Cameo?

The answer, sadly, is not yes.

I know there's a lot of negatives in there, bro. Rudy Giuliani is on Cameo, and it's as bad as you would think. We'll talk about that, and then time permitting, speaking of things that are probably as bad as you'd think, Hard Mountain Dew is here. And we'll talk about that too And because it's a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day We'll do those Blur's Day messages We'll do all that with the help of this young man Longest running co-bro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships He recently sent me an email telling me he can hear me So we're going to call that a win He's got the freak lips and he can hit the high C He was king of the tuk-tuk sound He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning. I am king of the tuk-tuk sound. He was king of the tuk-tuk sound. I don't know if we want to get into this. My assumption is we do not, but I will tell you this. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one fact.

about me and then i will allow you to decide whether or not you want to ask any follow-up questions i think it's fine if you decide not to ask any you know what i've found over the years is that the facts are your friends you can you can ask me follow-up questions luke or you can just move on because we have some real world things to talk about here we are living through a heat wave we got brown i'm dealing with all of this confusing computer messages i'm sorry i'm

sure i sounded kind of distracted and off during my little ramble there at the top it's because first i was getting this bizarre error message that said other computers were logging into my network and then i got this message on our little system ipdtl that said the connection has dropped but i could see that the timer was still going so that was why i was i was sort of not sure if you were hearing me if we're gonna have to start over again anyway i want to apologize to you and the

listeners andrew well if you hit okay on that it will drop the signal so don't do that just leave it alone here's the fact is well i guess these are two facts i'm gonna give you two facts i woke up angry today because i was bullied in my dream that's it those are the facts that's that's probably enough that's probably all you need to know if you want details i will readily give them to you but there's there's no pressure you want to talk about the heat wave I never bullied within an inch of my life last night. We could just talk about your run. This is not a dream. You went on a run today that almost leveled you.

Well, it really did, and I didn't go particularly far, and it's not yet in the triple digits here. I mean, it was warm, but it wasn't ridiculously warm. I don't know. I think it sounds like I'm low-key trying to brag, and I don't mean to be or whatever, talk about the fact that basically what happens is I try to exercise. I've been trying to exercise each morning for all of like two weeks, but it's the thing I do right before the show. So then when I start talking into this microphone to you, it's very top of mind to me. But anyway, I'm not trying to like keep bringing that up, but I was shocked at how tired I was today. Like I had to, it was almost like I wanted to lie down on the, like the floor and just like sort of lay there for a while, or I should say lie there for a while. Like I was, I was really tired. Usually exercising in the morning kind of energizes me, gets me all ready to do the show with you, but it really depleted me today. And I wonder if it's because I have gotten more regular about it the last two weeks, and I actually need to maybe take a day off or something, do a little rest and recovery. But let's get back to being cyberbullied to within an inch of your life. Who was bullying you in your dream?

Well, I'm not sure. That's the thing. Oh, interesting. By the way, you chose this. You chose this route. We could have just gone on and talked about it. I am interested in this.

I think you're one of the only people I know who gets bullied in their dream.

You know, you'd think that this is something I would have dreamt through before. I was going to say lived through. But, you know, I can't remember any other specific bullying dreams, but it definitely did happen last night. Do you believe me or are you taking me to court? You look like a dream catcher came to life. So, and I almost forgot this dream, Luke, except I woke up, I'm bleary-eyed, and I thought, oh, I've got to record TBTL. What about an hour? I got to get out of bed here. And then I thought, oh, wait, there's something I'm supposed to bring down to the studio to talk about. And then I thought, oh, no, that's not real life. That was the prop in my dream. And the prop was a baseball hat, a new purple baseball cap style hat that I had gotten. I think retroactively in the dream, it turns out it was a U-Dub Huskies hat, which is interesting because I have a boundless W on it. Yeah, no offense, and even though the love of my life does work there, I have no loyalty to—

And the other love of your life graduated from there, me. Oh, I thought you were talking about Phyllis.

But I am probably, in the real world, unlikely to don UW Huskies garb. I mean, I'm a golden flash through and through, of course, and not so much a Husky myself, but in this dream, I did have this beautiful purple hat, And I assume that maybe that was because the local university's color is purple. And there's a lot of purple around here. Beautiful purple balls. But in my dream, I'm talking to somebody. I'm at, like, I don't know, a coffee shop or something. I'm talking to somebody, and I go to adjust my hat. You know, I go to grab the bill of my hat in the front of my head where it would usually be. And I realize, what the heck? Why am I wearing my hat backwards right now? I'm not a backwards hat-wearing guy. So I take the hat off my head And I have been wearing it backwards And I realize at some point And the thing is It wasn't on my head very well And I was like what's going on And so I take as one of our drops says What in the disco dancing nonsense Is going on here I take off my hat And I realize at some point On the bus that I was apparently on Somebody had taken off my hat and taken a black indelible marker. Now, in the real world, I did just buy two Sharpies yesterday, and I'm just making that connection. See, now we're getting down to it. I'm just making that connection now. This is why we have to talk about these things. Exactly. On this podcast where people love it. And somebody had taken a black marker and made a bunch of black marks on the inside of the ball cap, just kind of like vandalized the inside of my ball cap. But because it was a black magic marker, it was already starting to seep through to the outside, making the hat unwearable. And I remember Genevieve was there, and I was very upset. I said, look what these animals did to my hat. I don't know who they were, Luke, but I was furious, and I was furious that they were bullying me kind of behind my back. It raised a bunch of feelings from grade school, and I said, well, you know what, Vives? And now suddenly, like, she was in on this because she has the, you know, the loyalty to the husky purple. And suddenly I was kind of saying to her, well, you know what, Viz? I'm not wearing the Husky hat anymore. I'm throwing it away in the trash right now. And I did. I got up, and I threw it in the trash. And then I'm sitting down again, and I thought, you know what? No, this is something I should talk about on TBTL. So in my dream, I got up, and I got the hat out of the trash and said, I will bring this into the studio, and I will talk about it. Then I will throw it away.

I love that even in your dream, you were thinking, well, this will be good content. I know.

And ironically, it's not good content. It is good content. It's just a dream.

No, I'm fast. Again, I'm interested. I've gone from thinking dreams meant absolutely nothing. That was my stance in the early days of this show. Jen Flash Andrews used to talk about how she would be mad at her husband, Jason, about things that she dreamed about. I was in a relationship where—

She'd be mad at him if he talked about his dreams, you mean, right? No.

She would be mad at him when she dreamed he did something she didn't like. Oh, yes, right. Okay, I remember that. all those dream fights and i thought that was ridiculous at the time and then i ended up ultimately and i mean i'll just say it there were times where carrie would be mildly annoyed at me i mean i gave her a lot of material on this topic in the non-dream state i gave a lot of waking hours reasons to be uh to be annoyed with me but but we did hit a point where she would have a dream that i did something and then would be you know pretty frustrated with me which her i think her basic standpoint was well if you didn't do things in real life that gave me this subconscious feeling I wouldn't dream that you were doing things, which I don't totally buy. But I also, again, I just have to I said I was talking about all of my marriages the other day. Oh, you know what it was? I was waiting to get into the Hollywood Bowl. Wow. I'm watching someone who is so committed to driving the wrong way down this one way street. Andrew, it's really something. So normally what happens is somebody will will take a left turn up the street that is known as Cooch Street. And by the way Somebody on my live wire call the other day Pointed out that there was an intersection in Portland That's the intersection of Sandy Cooch Which I think is pretty amazing But anyway someone was driving up Cooch Usually they go one block and then they realize Oh no I'm doing the wrong thing This person drove all the way up Stopped at a light and then was looking at Traffic on both sides of the street Coming at it waiting for the light And was undeterred and then crossed the street Still going the wrong way Until everyone started beeping at them furiously Anyway, I'm waiting in line to get into the Hollywood Bowl, and I'm chatting with the crew, and I said, there's a decent chance I'll run into some of my exes here because I have multiple exes in Los Angeles. And they said, oh, how is that? I said, you know, it's fine. We all agree I was the problem. Yeah. It's very amicable. Right, right, right.

You're not harboring any ill will. No, no.

Again, we're all on the same page.

Yeah.

It's me. We're fine. It me. Anyway, so I thought that that dream was quite interesting, Andrew, and I didn't think that was boring content at all. Well, good, because that's all I got. That's literally all I got.

No, I'm actually – let me do a little bit of a forward promo of something that you've already forward-promoted. I think that you and I – I'm going to push back a little bit on a way that you are framing a story. I'm very much looking forward to talking about this Jeopardy situation because I'm wondering – If they really did lie or if maybe we need to look at ourselves a little bit in this situation.

Okay. I like that. I think a little introspection. I think we're due for it on this show. I think so, too. We rarely turn the lens back on ourselves.

I know. Finally. I had a dream last night that I turned the lens back on myself. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

We are going back to masks tomorrow here in Portland. Oh, yeah. I heard. I'm surprised that Seattle hasn't done it yet. But my guess is, and again, I stole this move from you because a while ago you said, yeah, we're going to probably go back to it. And I said pish posh, which then I had to look up what that means. But you were absolutely right. We're going back to masks tomorrow. and uh and and i'm i'm figuring most big places are gonna i mean that was the case in la the mask mandate was in place get the feeling we're just going back to that now how do you feel about that

uh i you know i'm actually kind of glad that it's a slow ramp up again because first of all i mean it's not like i burned my mask in the town square in fact i do need to get a couple more masks i had two that i was pretty locked in on um and i washed them about once a week but then i lost one But I lost one in our friend's backyard, and it hasn't come back to me. And that's what really confuses me. But anyway. It was Tegan, wasn't it? You got the right yard. I don't know if you got the right kid. But, yeah, probably. Also, I'm missing. I don't know which is which, by the way. I'm also missing a lock of my hair and a shoelace. No. But anyway, I am basically, for the past few days, I've gotten used to going. Before they tell me I have to, I've just gotten back. Which I know is going to kind of frustrate some listeners because I don't read them all on the air. But, you know, we've gotten plenty of emails from listeners who said even when the mandates went away that we as responsible human beings should not have stopped wearing our masks, which, OK, fair. Maybe there's an argument there. But I was just doing what I was allowed to, which I guess in that case is the bare minimum. But I hear you. I see you. But anyway, so my point is now like I was very I remember the first time I went into the grocery store without a mask on. I did it hesitantly. I looked around. Other people weren't wearing their masks. So I took mine off and I really enjoyed that experience. But now when I go into a grocery store, I put my mask back on. Now, the mandate is not here officially in Seattle or King County or Washington yet. I believe it is coming. And so I would rather at least sort of like do it on my own terms first so that when they tell me I have to, I'm already in those habits, you know. So, yeah, it is what it is. It's again, like for all. I think it's clear that, like, I would prefer not to wear a mask over wearing a mask. I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting that. But it's also not like some hill I'm going to die on because it's really not asking much. And it's certainly not – while it's kind of a mental – it's mentally and emotionally draining to kind of roll back in this process right now, it is still not such a shock as when I had to first wear a mask all the time, which was something I was totally unfamiliar with. I got it. I know how it works now. It doesn't feel embarrassing or I don't feel self-conscious or all the weird feelings I had at first. we all know how to wear masks and it's really not a huge ask when you look at what we're up against

it really for me is just a logistic thing a logistical thing of oh i gotta remember to have the mask i gotta make sure i have one in my car i've got to make sure i'm bringing it with me when i'm stepping outside of my apartment it's just the like remembering to have a mask with me part that just you know is annoying but the wearing of the mask actually because like i said i was just in la for like four days and you have to wear it there i just i fell back into it pretty quickly and i'm wondering if we'll actually see an okay kind of compliance level with it i mean certainly a place like portland is mostly you know liberals who follow the rules of science and the cdc so i think they'll probably be a pretty high uh rate but the other thing too is i feel like we're learning so in other words i don't i'm not going to wear it on my jog yeah there was a long period of time where so much i was you know where like carrying a mask with me and putting it on when i got near within 10 feet of someone outside we now know at least the knock wood that the the as of now that's a pretty hard way to transmit the virus now maybe the delta has its own thing going on because it's more transmissible but anyway so i feel like we're kind of we're going back to it we're going back to it with a lot of with a lot more information now and like if yeah i just got my freaking shipment of those black masks that i like that are kind of you use them a few times and toss them, which is probably not great for my footprint, carbon footprint, but whatever. Yeah, I it's not bothering me as much as I thought it was going to bother me to go back to masking, I guess.

Yeah, you know, what I think about the saddest moment I had wearing a mask, it was, you know, maybe, I don't know, four months into the pandemic, like hardcore, hardcore shutdown time. Well, I guess not so hardcore that I wasn't taking walks. I was taking a long walk around Green Lake and it was fall. So I guess we were well into it Because this thing started in the spring But anyway, unnecessary detail I had this dream that I went

That just made me excited for football When you just said the word fall

I know, I'm starting to get it too What's wrong with my brain? We're in a heat wave, yet also there are little signs That fall is around the corner Some leaves here and there The shadows are growing a little bit longer And I'm getting, it's August I'm already weirdly kind of looking forward to fall And the things that go along with it

But Addy and I went on a hike this weekend, and the leaves were all dead because of the heat. But it felt like fall because you had dry leaves that we were stepping in. And it was...

Making me weirdly excited about fall. Yeah. Anyway, this one moment I had when I was going around Green Lake was, you know, I'd been wearing my mask outside, inside, everywhere, you know, constantly. And there was one moment I was like, maybe, I don't know, two miles into my little walk when I had to take off my mask to like blow my nose or something. I took off my mask for a second and all of the smells of fall hit me. I think I've described this moment on the show before. And also, like, I could smell French fries that were, like, wafting across the lake from some, you know, vendor, like, pretty far away. It was just, like, a hint of that fried smell with all the smells of fall. And I kind of realized, whoa, I've been missing out on it because I've been going on a lot of walks. Remember, Luke, I was going on, like, five walks a day. You were, like, maybe up to three. But it just, like, I was, like, I'm missing out. It never occurred to me what a big part of this is, is is the smells of the season and the smells of the of the park, you know, in the outdoors and the greenery. And so I remember that moment really sucked. And like you say, like, I don't think that I'm I mean, unless some really different science comes out and I will obey the science. But unless something really significant comes out, I'm not going to be wearing my mask walking around Green Lake for exercise.

Here's my new tweet. obey the science in the style of Depeche Mode enjoy the silence oh that's good obey the science

okay remember okay do you remember the other day I think it was yesterday on the show you accused me of not being that into one of your jokes that I actually was really into in this case I'm really not into that joke I mean we should just like I want clarity on these things because I think you tell a lot of good jokes that make me laugh

I'm going to come into your dream tonight and bully you yeah who's bullying who who bullies the bully uh all right uh let's take a quick break and then we come back i'm sorry no no you know what i think that you probably the listeners are on your side that is a twitter that is a bit of a twitter sort of trope is a paul f tompkins does a lot he does it with morrissey songs um i think he does it with the from the song girlfriend in a coma you know when Morrissey goes um uh I know it's serious and they're like when he sees words that look like they're from that Morrissey song but they're of course unrelated it just be like the list at a deli or something he'll just sort of like post it and then he'll put like little music you know kind of emojis around it and you see it for the Morrissey song that it could be yes so I just did a bad version of that that's all but I'm I'm in good company with with one

pf thompson that's right has he ever been on a podcast he should be

let's thank some donors of the day who are keeping this keeping this train rolling along nothing stops a tbtl andrew nothing i think we tbtl people steal people what are some other you and i need to at some point talk about do you watch the games on television as well or most of the baseball games that is or when back when you were a mariner fan back a week ago when you cared about i'm still a mariner

fan i just cannot give them anything more right now i'm still a mariner fan i wanted to be very clear about that um i think you know i was thinking about this the other day as i was puttering around the kitchen listening to the game i think i listen to more games than i actually watch it's not that i'm a stranger to watching the game on tv but i actually probably listen

more than watch what's on your mind there is a tv commercial that's for some local hvac company in seattle called a temp okay and their commercial that is in heavy rotation during the mariners broadcasts is really something to see it makes the like the beacon commercials where like marshawn lynch is tackling people look high production like that it's clear that everybody in the commercial not everyone in the commercial is equally excited to be in the commercial as far as the employees of a temp heating and cooling they're also doing a song that sort of it sounds vaguely like it's it's like a ripoff of like four different kinds of pop songs like from the 80s And you've got the folks working at the front desk They seem pretty into it They're lip syncing Everyone's like lip syncing this weird A-Temp jingle

I need to look this up Do you think that it's available on iSpot?

I do not think it's anything that's made its way onto iSpot

A-Temp it's called?

I think it's called A-Temp Heating and Cooling Which is Listen, I used to work at a plumbing place And it was I don't like to say the name Because I don't want to give them any free publicity Because the place was a real rip-off But let's just say the name was a dude's name But at some point

Thank you.

They put A in front of the dude's name Which made no sense It'd be like if this show was called A-T-B-T-L And that was just so if you were looking in the yellow pages You would find The plumbing company first And my guess is A-Temp Heating is the same kind of thing

It's probably a throwback to the yellow pages This didn't even occur to me Until just now You of course are in Portland You are seeing some different local commercials You would think it would just be the Mariners broadcast Yeah because I'm watching Root Sports It's a Portland area – well, it's Portland area's choice for professional AC repair, so I have not seen it. Oh, my gosh.

I have to call them. How do I do this without letting them know that I – I mean, I kind of love the commercial because it's so ridiculously local. But, yeah, they've got this jingle that I'm guessing somebody at the company wrote. Again, I don't – there's no reason for me to be negative because I like that this exists. It's so much more interesting than a Chevy commercial, you know what I mean, or something. but it's like the premise of the commercial is everyone's kind of lip syncing along to this song about the company and like the people at the front desk are into it they're doing a pretty good job but then there's like the guys that do the hvac repair and you can tell there's like three of them standing around like you tell one of them doesn't really want to be there he feels embarrassed he's like i didn't get into this game to be lip syncing this song on local television i'm just trying to go out and keep everyone's heating and cooling needs handled yeah absolutely But again, I want to call them and be like, hey, can you send me a file of the commercial? But they'll be like, why? And I'll be like, well, because I kind of want to joke about it on my podcast.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm looking all over and I cannot find.

It's not the kind of thing that is making its way. Celebrating it. No, it's not. This is not, you know, Saatchi and Saatchi. This is not up for any Cleos this year. You know who might have won a Cleo? We don't know their life is Eric Ryden in Seattle, Washington. Eric is our first donor of the day that we are thanking. Thanks, Eric. Stephanie Salmon is in Issaquah, Washington. Beautiful Issaquah, Washington. Home of one of the great taco times in the Northwest. Diane Sibbert is in Chehalis, Washington. Also a place I've been to taco time.

You've clocked a lot of hours probably at that particular taco time.

Sure. It's on the taco trail. Almost said the Tamiami Trail, which I think is a road that I think goes through Miami, But it's called the Tamiami Trail In South Florida Amina Alsadi is in Washington D.C. Our old pal Amina Thanks Amina for sticking with us Now of Vox Killing it in D.C. I believe Yeah man and redirecting That sweet sweet Vox Money to us Yeah that's right we're disrupting We're disrupting the new media Model by getting people that work at Vox to support

Our podcast. We earmark those dollars

Yeah, we do. Thea Anderson is in the Wolves out there in Cedro Woolley. It's another thing. If I wander around Cedro Woolley, I'll probably run into an ex. And a taco time. I would assume. Let me think. There has to be. But I've never been to it because when I used to be in the Wolves, it would be to visit with family, with, you know, who I call my other mom, Carrie's mom, who I'm still very close with. And so it would be not the kind of thing where I was telling you a story before we dialed up today because you had had a chance to go sit in those real fancy Mariner seats.

Oh, yeah. Today, a friend of mine had texted me right before the show and said, hey, I can get you into the Diamond Club. Drop everything. Meet me there now. And I said, nah, I can't. I can't.

But the one time I went to the you know, I went to the Diamond Club with Carl Gardner, former boss of ours who continues to not call me back after I saw him at the gym, which really hurts. Well Carl Who's worked out 11 days in a row now It's me Now am I worth calling back No but I went to the Diamond Club with him And I didn't realize That they give you It's like all this free food There's like a buffet So I had eaten at taco time Right before the game Because I was like I'm hungry And I was telling you about a story With a different friend of ours Who threw a very lavish party That I didn't realize Was going to be so lavish And I ate a bunch of taco time right before that dinner and then had to, I mean, he hired a chef to come and cook at his house. And so the food was delicious, but I mean, I was probably, I didn't need another meal at that point. Anyway, I have not yet enjoyed the taco time in Cedro-Wooley, but you know, give it time. Maybe I will. I have an update on that.

It doesn't look like there is one in Cedro-Wooley. There is one in Mount Vernon. What is the drive time on that? It looks like you head southwest on Sterling Road. Okay. And then you are going to pass a Taqueria Los Yarritos. Yarritos, I think. Yeah. And another Mexican place in a five. guys and an IHOP and then you're at the taco time if you hit the Mexico cafe you've gone too far

Mexico cafe where Carrie used to work oh really there you go just steps from my buddy Evan's house literally like a block from where my friend Evan lives and I was just up there recently there's actually a lot of good Mexican food up in the Skagit Valley because there's a lot of agriculture there and there's a lot of folks who've come from Mexico and stayed and it's a good place for Mexican food thanks Thea for keeping it Keeping It Real in Cedro Woolley. Also thanks to Ruth Benton down there in Los Angeles, California. Can you get a taco in Los Angeles?

There is... Do they have any taco places there? I think it might have closed. Oh, speaking of... Did you see that Greenblatt's is closing, Luke? I don't even know what Greenblatt's is. You weren't a big Greenblatt's guy, were you?

I just didn't... I'm unfamiliar. What is Greenblatt's?

It was a good one, man. It was there. It was a great pastrami kind of joint that also had a little wine shop. And it had been there since, like, the 20s or 30s. It was one of the, like, classic pastrami-style delis in L.A. You know where it was? Wow, my geography is getting so bad. But it was when you – it's down, like, kind of past the strip. Well, it's the big comedy club that's just at the very edge of Sunset. Do you know? Well, there's the Laugh Factory and there's the Comedy Store. Yeah, I think it's two doors down from the Laugh Factory, I think, if you know where that is. I think that's on Sunset, right?

Now, the Comedy Store is the one – yeah, they're both on Sunset. And the Comedy Store is the one that has every, like, it's black, the paint, and everyone who's ever played there has, like, signed. They basically painted signatures on the wall. That's the Comedy Store. That was run for years by Pauly Shore's mom, Mitzi Shore. Then you have the Laugh Factory that's down the street a bit.

Yeah, this is Greenblatt. 1926, I'm seeing all these headlines now. Greenblatt's Deli, Sunset Boulevard landmark since 1926 is closing. So that's a real bummer.

What a bummer. Well, I want to say thanks to our donors of the day for keeping us happy and unbombed.

Yeah, thanks for not letting us go the way of Greenblatt's.

Thank you. Exactly. Thank you for keeping TVTale in business. We really do appreciate it. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right. Let's jump right in with this Jeopardy thing, Andrew, because you've already hurt my feelings by saying I've mischaracterized what is going on. So yesterday, of course, we and everybody else who cares about that stuff saw the news that the show is going to be co-hosted by two people. And I was speculating that that was probably a reaction to the negative publicity around the guy that they announced or were sort of the rumor got out that they were going to hire this dude, Mike Richards, who is also the executive producer of the show, to be the host. And I don't think very many people not there were anyone not named Mike Richards, as I wrote on Twitter, was pretty like let down by that announcement. So then they come out with this announcement. Actually, it's going to be two hosts. It's going to be Mayim Bialik, who everybody loves. I did hear her described on NPR yesterday as Mayim Bialik, best known for the Big Bang Theory, which I guess is true. But that felt weird to me.

Yep. Me, too. I'm on board with that.

But then I heard old Netta Ulibi on All Things Considered talking about it, and I learned that Mike Richards is going to host the Monday through Friday Jeopardy, what we think of as Jeopardy. Mayim Bialik is going to do, like, special programs and, like, maybe the college week. And that made me think even more that they had just kind of thrown this together. They basically were trying, I think, to deflect from the fact that nobody wanted to be this dude, Mike Richards. And so they said, well, we're going to hire Mayim Bialik and say their co-host. But she's not really the co-host. I mean, she's going to do some shows, but he's going to I thought it was going to be. Well, maybe he takes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, every other Wednesday. It's like a custody agreement. He gets week every other weekend and every third Wednesday or something with the show. Yeah. Yes. And then you're going to just see Jeopardy sitting on a curb with its baseball mitt waiting for Mike Richards to show up. No, but that's not what's happening. He's the host, and they're going to have some special programming that they have Mayim Bialik do. I feel like that makes me think even more that this was very much them trying to manage the publicity around this.

Yeah, maybe you're right about that. Here's the only thing that I had. And you know what? Let me not group you in with this. Let me just talk about my own personal journey. But this idea that they were misleading, I don't know. Actually, maybe I'm coming back around to your side. Here's the deal for me. When we mentioned this on the show yesterday, it was officially TBTL Breaking News. You even played the sounder. And all I was personally working off was the headline. And the headline was, you know, names to new hosts or what have you. And I did not click through at that time. By the time I did click through and read.

the article yesterday I think I read the New York Times one it was several hours after the show I was like oh yeah what is up with that and it was very clear in the very first paragraph of the New York Times article that I read that this is the situation so it didn't sort of seem to me like they were lying or misleading it was just that I felt like well I hadn't read the story I was telling a story based on a headline so that's where I that's where I was originally going to come down on this but honestly that's tedious and kind of missing the bigger point you're right like jeopardy is clearly doing this as some sort of a pr thing like they know what the headline is going to be and and they know they're definitely it's definitely a softening of a blow to include her

in the in this way but again i just think it's i think the announcement is fundamentally misleading to call them co-hosts and you even have you know listen and is that what the but do we know that

that's what they said in the press release like did jeopardy say co-hosts or did the media say

co-hosts that's that's good question i haven't looked at the source material i know that on atc yesterday i would be mad by the way if i was netta ulibi because netta ulibi wrote the piece that i was quoting yesterday that said and peace and love i know netta it i'm not saying it's the strongest joke but she said something like it's double jeopardy because they have two hosts and And then she was being introduced. She was on All Things Considered to talk about it with the host. I think it was Mary Louise Kelly said, well, Netta, it looks like this is just going to be, and then I can hear Mary Louise laughing, this is going to be double jeopardy. And if I was Netta, I would be like, can you stop stealing my joke? Mary Louise, please, thank you. But she didn't do that because she's a broadcast professional. She rolled with it. But I don't know if that's the media mischaracterizing it. My guess, though, is if we were to get the actual press release from Sony, they would probably, I bet we would see. I'm here. I'm here.

Can I? He's here. Ladies and gentlemen, he's here. I think this is very interesting. So the press release, I'm on the Jeopardy.com Media Center site. The press release went out yesterday. Weirdly, Luke, all I have is the headline and then, like, the kind of teaser blurb. When I go to download the PDF or open the official press release, it is a dead link already on Jeopardy.com. Like, this is the most important press release they have issued in probably 30-some years. Well, I don't know. Maybe there were some around Alex Trebek's illness that maybe were also important. But my point is, like, how are you – when you click on it, it goes to one of those, like, funny Jeopardy pages where it says, oh, sorry, that page has not been found. Or our judges have ruled the link has either moved or is outdated. And there's a bunch of gifs of like people on Jeopardy looking sad because they lost, which is clever for a broken link. But how about you don't have broken links on this press release anyway? To answer your question, headline. And I think you will.

If only the executive producer of the show was kind of riding herd on this. I know. Was taking a closer look at the at like some of the details of the show. No, wait, I'm sorry. They're too busy. Usurping the throne. Exactly.

But I think you're going to stick to your guns here when you hear this, because this is the headline and the little teaser graph. Sony Pictures Television names Mayim Bialik and Mike Richards as Jeopardy hosts. Now, that is technically right, and they don't say co-host. And did they put her name first? Yes, they did. Culver City, California, August 11th. Sony Pictures Television, SPT, today announced that Mike Richards and Mayim Bialik, they've switched it around there, Mike Richards and Mayim Bialik have been named as the new hosts of Jeopardy. So even though they're not using the word co-host, yeah, I mean, she is a host of specials, but they're definitely, they're creating this headline. So I will back off.

And the headline, you better back off. The headline, because they also know most people are not going to read past the headline. You're saying the headline literally says Mayim Bialik and Mike Richards.

Sony Pictures Television names Mayim Bialik and Mike Richards as Jeopardy hosts. That's the headline On the press release The official statement I will God I had some great

I had some great music For you Can you do that One more time

With the Entertainment Tonight music Sony Pictures Television names Mayim Bialik And Mike Richards As Jeopardy hosts Was that okay Did I hit it too hard It was really good You told me To throw it away I thought it was really good

I was actually impressed And I appreciate you Going for it Because I know Sometimes that's not Like your favorite thing To do a character on

command no i love doing characters you don't like my characters because they often talk like this

i don't i don't i mean again i respect the choices you're making i don't understand i'm not handling

this well i don't feel competent i'm depressed by the way i spent a great deal of my physical therapy appointment yesterday trying to explain to somebody who john tash is and why i like intelligence for your life it was a long day for everybody

The one that Red Rocks story, the one thing I wasn't able to make happen because we didn't have endless amounts of time was getting Tesh in there.

Thank you.

Yeah, because he John Tesh live at Red Rocks lived very large in my mind. One, because at the time I thought the music was, you know, sort of cheesy. But also I do believe that I ended up paying like forty dollars for a John Tesh live at Red Rocks CD because it and how that happened was it was one of those Columbia House selections of the month. i.e. an album that they couldn't unload and so they would send you you know the deal was you get whatever 12 CDs for a penny but then you're automatically enrolled in the selection of the month club and they just mail you a CD every month that's wicked overpriced and not anything you asked for I mean talk about early algorithms allegedly it was like well if you like I don't know what I did that made Columbia House think I would want John Tesh live at Red Rocks but they sent me that CD and the deal was if you opened the shipping packaging, then you sort of couldn't mail it back. If you just put it back in the mail and returned a sender, then they would have to... They couldn't charge you for it, but I had opened John Tesh Live at Red Rush because I was curious, and then I was so let down when I saw what the CD was, but then I couldn't mail it back, which meant it just lived in my room. Then it was $20, and I think I got dinged for a fee for not paying it off, so then it ended up being like $40 for that CD. Oh, man. Worth every penny. Do you still have it? Yeah I do I listen to it every day actually It's a banger

That would be a good disc to have actually

People got I don't want to say mad at me But it was kind of funny that Red Rocks story it aired Like last weekend And I heard from more than one person On Twitter that they were disappointed that I didn't Mention that U2 recorded their concert Live at Red Rocks like they have There's a very famous concert film Of U2 at Red Rocks And I thought that was kind of interesting because I thought yeah you know that they played you ever you don't need that in other words you don't need that information what is the utility of me telling people about a thing that they know happened i mean i honestly haven't fully thought this out like how i feel about it part of it is i'm just thin-skinned but we had to choose between a whole list of of performers who had played there over the years and uh one thing i wanted to mention a performer who was not white so we put uh lionel richie in there because he was a non-white performer who played there and then i needed to mention the string cheesons and then because they were playing that night and we'd interviewed them and then i wanted to find one other person i forget which i just didn't think i didn't really understand what the use of people how it would be useful for people for me to say and also you too and then they see you too and they're like yeah i knew that maybe they just wanted that kind of

satisfaction well i wonder if it's if if in a lot and i'm not a huge you too fan but it might just be so um that might be in some people's minds the most iconic concert there and so it might have seemed like just a glaring omission like as if i'm trying to think of a parallel but like if you were to talk about some other very storied place but you didn't mean i mean of course did you mention the beatles are you going to mention the beatles in the hollywood bowl story because that might just be my own beatles bias but i was thinking i first heard of the hollywood bowl because of a record called Beatles at the Hollywood Bowl.

I think we will have to mention that. We mentioned them in relation to Red Rocks. What we had to lose for time was kind of an interesting detail. They didn't sell Red Rocks out on that same tour. Oh, interesting. They ended up at the Hollywood Bowl, but it was close to sold out. The reason that I dropped that stat was because I looked at photos of the Beatles playing Red Rocks, and it was packed. It wasn't like there was three people. It was like the capacity is 9,500, and they probably sold 9,000 tickets. You know what I mean? They could have sold a couple more But it was more or less a sold out show People were excited for the Beatles But also in those days There was not any good In 1964 or 8 or whatever it was There was not actually a good road Up to Red Rocks So it was kind of far away for people And they thought that contributed to It not being totally sold out We will probably mention That they played the Hollywood Bowl Because there was an album associated with it But anyway I did want to tell you also about Mountain Dew Seltzer, Andrew, because I know that you're having a hot Andrew summer with your – it's Trulies. Is that what you like?

No, I've been slurping down the pink grapefruit-flavored White Claws. Yes. By the way, has anybody made the joke that we're just having a hot weather summer? Because I keep on thinking about that, too. See, I laugh at your jokes when they're bad. Hey. Am I dreaming? this feels like dream believe give me that hat it's hot everything summer I'm like it's also just like hot weather summer and I almost tweeted that the other day I'm like no there's not enough meat on them bones

that's just weird no but you're right there's something there no I can see what your brain is doing and I agree with it like yeah hot like hot f***ing

Fill in the blank summer. I guess they're also calling it shot girl summer because if you've gotten the vax, well, back for those three weeks where we thought having the vaccine was meant, you know, we could go back to normal life if you have the vaccine. And this is not usually the show that talks about these things. But I think I can say this because it was in a This American Life piece. Elna Baker, a friend of the show, went to waxing salons in New York where, you know, women, generally speaking, are getting their nether regions waxed. And they said that there was just they were they were waxing from dusk till dawn, getting everyone ready for Shot Girl Summer.

Oh, wow. Hey, by the way, I'm sorry. I'm a little distracted here. I had two thoughts going through my head. And I named the show – we named our show the other day something very – oh, From Busk Till Yawn was the name of the show a couple of days ago. We were talking about busters. So I was a little distracted by that. But also, this isn't necessary at all for the podcast, but I need to just clear this out of my brain. When you were talking about the slightly lower than expected or whatever attendance of the Beatles playing Red Rocks, I was going to mumble a joke. Well, it was a Wednesday just because, like, that's – you know, it's the Beatles. It was a Wednesday But then out of curiosity I looked up what day they did play there It was a Wednesday It was August 26, 1964 Which was a Wednesday

Tickets were like $6 and change Which is kind of amazing So you're a You're a White Claw man Like your father and his father before him Except the fact that your father doesn't drink I got really into White Claws This sounds like I'm trying to brag Like I was into white club before it was big, but for a long time, uh, this is not a great look by the way, but you know, I just, the, I didn't ever want to drink beer. I didn't drink beer or wine very much. I was always looking for a cocktail of some kind and usually like a vodka soda because I was thinking about the caloric and carbohydrate implications. And so all one day, this thing that was effectively a vodka soda popped up, but you could buy it at places that only had a beer and wine license. So I thought it was a real, you know, it was a real life hack. And so I drank a lot of that for a summer. And I've talked about this before, but I think what put me off of it was that it's malt liquor. I don't know why that matters because it's not like vodka is like, you know, vodka is potatoes or whatever they're using to make the, you know, I guess like Monopilova is a potato vodka. I don't know what Tito's is using. But it's not like, you know, malt liquor is just a liquor that's derived from what, malt hops or something? Yeah, I'm not sure exactly. And vodka is just something that's derived from a different plant material. It's not like – I don't know why it somehow bothers me that all those things are malt liquor and then they just reduce it down to its most kind of inert version and then build it back up to make it taste like whatever you want. I don't understand why that somehow troubles me, but it does.

Well, can I jump in here? Because I've been thinking about we had like the same conversation, I think, about twice, maybe once on air and once off air when I, you know, first jumped headfirst in these White Claw summer deals. And I think a big difference with how you and I kind of arrived at White Claw or maybe settled into our White Claw habit or lack thereof is, for me, it is a replacement for beer, something that I drink a lot. And I am now preferring it over beer. We can talk more about this later. Wow. I am, like, just not. Owen Wilson, wow. I know. I'm just, like, kind of not into. I mean, listen, if I were to go to Teddy's tonight, I'd probably get a shot in a beer. I'm not gonna get like a shot in a white claw but like around the house I'm just not interested in sipping a beer at night this summer and it'll probably come back with the winter I'll probably because I do like an IPA and I have my favorites and so maybe when the when the weather cools off I'll get back into that but like I'm just not into drinking and definitely tall boys like I'm just like anti-tall boy maybe it's because the weather is so hot and it's just like swampy by the time I get to the bottom of it i have just been drinking white claws and also kind of paying attention to like veves and i were talking about a commercial on our show the other day for something called we were talking about it for reasons unrelated to this conversation but it was a commercial for there's some jim beam like beam and ginger summer drink that is pre-mixed in a can And I doubt that's real liquor in there, too. I doubt it's real. I'm sure it's a malt replacement. They do sell some of these cans that have real booze in it, like you say, but they can't sell that everywhere. So the mass-produced stuff is this malt. But all of that is to say I keep thinking about our conversations about it because you are more somebody who's more likely to be drinking a vodka soda. And then this, for a moment, seemed like another option for you, but you don't like it as much as a vodka soda, whereas I'm coming at it from the other direction. I'm somebody who say this is.

not a replacement for cocktails but it is something that I like more than beer and you never drank a

lot of beer yeah I just I mean again this is very sad but like I my experience with beer I have the I have a very for me kind of unique relationship with beer if I open a beer like I really like to have a beer with if I get like Thai food or something I really like beer with like Asian food and I will regularly like I'll crack a beer and I will have three sips while I'm eating and then when i'm going to bed that night i will realize there's three quarters of the beer left i never finish a beer now i never fail to finish a glass of wine uh a cocktail a jamo like any other kind of alcohol delivery system i'm pretty much gonna probably go a little harder with it than i should beer i just have this most just kind of casual relationship with it i just and part i don't get very drunk from it i mean i'm also not drinking like maybe there's some crazy you know hazy ipas that are 25 alcohol or whatever but like i just it's it doesn't i i've never had a night that i can remember where i'm like i started by cracking one beer and then where did the night go like that just isn't how it affects my system it's very strange yeah and um and i think that

maybe whatever again it's funny how one day when i was bored and we had plenty of beer but i felt like buying something else at the store like just like a kid with an some extra money burning in this hole burning a hole in his pocket i just was like well let's see what else the grocery store has and i was like i'll try these white claws that everybody's been talking about and i i tried it and i said i'm a changed man and now suddenly like yeah like just like a a cold bud light or whatever or a tall boy of rainier just does not seem as good to me anymore i'm sure it's a phase but uh i've been enjoying it and i'm very open and this brings us back to the top story i am i think beverage curious right now like i go to the whole foods and they have like they have a lot of kombucha and stuff like i'm not i'm not messing with that but i did almost buy like some hard root beer the other day i was like maybe i should be mixing it up a little bit oh man that sounds

dangerous for me i love root beer so much like root beer that has booze in it maybe i'll try it yeah give us a review so hard mountain dew is coming your way it's uh i guess it's created by The Boston Beer Company Which is basically Sam Adams now It's called the Boston Beer Company So this is a collab between Pepsi And Sam Adams To make Hard Mountain Dew A new flavored malt beverage 5% alcohol by volume It'll hit the market in 2022 It's going to have three flavors Original, black cherry, and watermelon There will be no caffeine or sugar in them They will be marketed to adults Hard Mountain Dew Coming to a gas station near you Something tells me our buddy Camaro Kev Will be on the vanguard of this Maybe

Is he a Mountain Dewy guy?

I don't know Is it Veeves who has a theory that women don't drink Mountain Dew? No

Because Genevieve likes herself some Mountain Dew

Maybe Veeves bucks the trend Somebody told me It's good that I'm mixing up my girlfriend and your partner Already Somebody said that they had a theory I had a Where are my keys? I cannot find my keys Oh that's why you have that Pineapple t-shirt I've learned that on TikTok by the way I don't know what that means

I thought we were just living through like hot print summer

No for real

Everybody's got these cool shirts Everybody's got prints now And I think Durs was wearing a shirt with a pineapple print the other day Is he sending some messages to me Oh he might be

Well see this is the thing So apparently it's been decided that if you have a pineapple like if you let's say you're camping and you're in like a RV park or a campsite with other folks and you are a couple that likes to engage in in sensual times with other couples you're a swinger you're in the lifestyle then you hang up like pineapple lights or you put pineapples out which is a subtle sign to other people that you're in the lifestyle the problem is pineapple as a decorating touch is also Very, very popular In fact, pineapples are considered the international symbol of hospitality

I didn't know that And also, I thought this could just be a total mistake on my part But, you know, when I would see pineapples kind of bandied about on social media I always thought that might be a sort of a stand-in Or some connection to marijuana culture

According to three TikToks I saw That were just randomly in the algorithm There is a move in the swinger community, at least among some people, to try to make the pineapple the symbol to other couples that you're down to clown.

Hmm. I mean, that's fine. And I'm seriously not judging that lifestyle. But of course, when somebody when somebody does when, you know, maybe a group or somebody co-op. something like that but then um then i have to be careful with where where i use pineapples i guess that's not really a problem nobody's gonna see like i really liked andy's shirt the other day i'm like now are people gonna think that andy's like you know down to clown as you say well he probably not well he is obviously but um i mean yes i mean it's durs i mean you can't contain it have you seen how many water beds he has that's too many water beds for that apartment it really is. The whole thing is just a big waterbed. I guess, you know what, this is me. I hate everything I said. I take it back. Nobody's worried about putting a pineapple out and everybody's going to think you're a swinger. I'm worried about it. I'm creating, I'm like, I'm doing conservative media here where I'm overreacting to something that is not a real life problem. I apologize.

It's obvious. You and Ben Shapiro can't both be wrong on this topic. The swingers, the Obama has hired swingers to destabilize american families through pineapples and if you if you're not talking about

it you're being willfully ignored what i heard was i started i was talking maybe i think i was reacting honestly there for a second but then i'm like wait a second i sound like a homophobe talking about the rainbow what the hell am i doing back off back off and that's why i stopped touching that red hot topic what do i give a shit i can still i can still decorate with with pineapples if i want to and also i haven't done that in 44 years i'm fine right but i do think

i mean i'm not trying to create like a you know swing or panic or in any way sound like i'm being judgy about how people live their lives because everybody gets to live their life how they want i would say that that's not um something that is that's not a lifestyle that i'm particularly interested in for myself and for people i'm in relationships with like romantic relationships So were it to be a thing where a couple were thinking that I was trying to say that's kind of what we're all about, it would just at some point involve a brief conversation where I would have to clarify that's not what we're all about. Now, if that conversation was awkward, I guess that would be a bad outcome. But other than that, I mean, I don't think anyone's going out forcing people into swinging situations because they misread a pineapple. I would agree with you on that. But I try to keep the awkward conversations to a minimum if I can, and that's one I'm not necessarily trying to have with someone at the campsite.

Luke, I have just stumbled on something wonderful. I was trying not to put my finger on the scale too much, so I just wrote what – actually, I have a typo. I wrote, what does pineapple represent? I probably should have written, what do pineapples represent? One of the first results – because I didn't type in swingers or anything like that. One of the first results is a headline. Do pineapples have a dirty secret? A swinging good time, question mark? Now, this website that it takes me to, this is an article on the iSpy Detective Agency website. At first, I thought that was just like kind of a jokey website or something. But no, on their homepage, this is actually a detective agency based in Michigan. Michigan Private Investigator, Private Detective Agency. We provide proof and get results, male and female private investigators available. We're the top rated and reviewed Michigan private investigation agency in 20 in 2020, 2021. So anyway, I'm on an actual spy website. This is a blog post that they posted in February of 2018. This is going back a few years. It says pineapples are tropical fruit, rich in vitamins. OK, I and I appreciate the upside down triangle when writing as much as everybody else. But you don't have to start that broad with this. But it does say, let's take a look at the meanings of the regal fruit. One, an edible and juicy tropical fruit. Thank you. I got that myself. Two, it means to stop or halt. I did not know that. Number three, a symbol of hospitality. Number four, military slaying for a fragmentation hand grenade. And number five, it means you are a swinger. There you go. And then we go on to really focus on the thing. On the spy website. Yes. Now, my guess is this is your maybe people are hiring these private investigators because they think there's some infidelity going on in their lives. And so that's why this particular spy or private eye company wanted to post about the double meaning of the swing in good time of pineapples.

Speaking of conservative panics, Andrew. Rudy Giuliani is now on Cameo. And it's $199 Which after Cameo takes its cut Doesn't seem Like a ton of money for Rudy I mean I guess If he can knock out 10 in a day That's a thousand bucks Probably after taxes Although let's be honest I doubt he pays taxes But like I was I guess not shocked Somebody brought up the fact that Rudy Giuliani probably has money trouble now He's being sued by the company that makes the voting machines.

Yeah, yeah. That he and a number of other people slandered. He also has lost his law. His law license has been revoked in some places. And so he's I guess he's probably kind of hurting for cash. Somebody pointed out that it's interesting that Don Trump, I'm talking about senior, Donald Trump is very wealthy at this point, has enriched himself immensely and I think I'm sure inappropriately from having been president. I mean, Donald Trump was a guy who who's always been rich and yet he's always been losing money and he's always been in bankruptcy and he's always been ripping people off. I'm not telling the listeners anything they don't know. But it's kind of funny that Rudy Giuliani has money trouble for sticking up for Donald Trump and Donald Trump is wealthy. And instead of Donald Trump giving Rudy some money Rudy's on Cameo saying happy birthday to some dad In Milwaukee

Have you clicked through these? You've watched a few?

I watched like one of them What I thought was actually better though was just Sarah Silverman talking about it on She filled in on Jimmy Kimmel's show It was so great, she said welcome to Jimmy Kimmel Live and then she said no part of that statement Is true

She's so great

I want to watch that It's so good dude, I would recommend the whole thing but I'm just going to kind of jump in at the part where she's talking about Rudy Giuliani on Cameo, okay?

Speaking of white people on the decline, Rudy Giuliani has a new gig.

I want to mention, by the way, that there is, when she talks about four-season landscaping and that debacle, she does mention a sex toy, so this is a real racy show for us.

You know how, like, six months ago, Rudy was the personal lawyer for the leader of the free world? Well, now he's doing this.

hi it's rudy giuliani and i'm on cameo if there's an issue of concern that you want to discuss or a story you'd like to hear or or share with me or a greeting that i can bring to someone that would bring happiness to their day i would be delighted to do it it can be arranged and we can talk through the magic of cameo thank you seems like a good investment can you by the way

He totally does the move. He's filming himself, and then when he says, through the magic of Cameo, he then reaches and turns off the camera. Like, he did the thing that we have Christina Lopez edit out from our videos. We have more support right now in terms of our outward-facing media projects than Rudy Giuliani does. Yeah, yeah.

Can you put a price on a future convicted felon accidentally farting on camera for your niece's quinceanera? You can. It's $275.

I thought I saw it was $199 somewhere. I guess I got bad information.

That's right. For the price of parking at Disneyland, you can get a message from the vampire who held a press conference next to a dildo store. The guy was once America's mayor. Now he's paying his bills the same way as high-pitch Eric. This may be the saddest part. It says he responds within 10 hours. his own prostate doesn't respond that fast i did the math rudy's being sued by dominion for 1.3 billion dollars so all he has to do is make 3 million 250 000 cameos and he'll be halfway

there all right now for something um i would highly recommend this entire monologue from sarah so she has her dad and her stepmom there in the audience and she's checking in with them Throughout the monologue To see how it's going And it's just wonderful She also mentioned That this is a television first It's the first time Somebody is filling in For their ex On national television Oh yeah Because Jimmy Kimmel Used to date

Yeah of course Right Yeah I knew they were friends I kind of forgot That they used to date And of course She's on the show Quite a bit right Wasn't they a recurring bit Like years and years ago Why am I

I think so Yeah I mean Yeah she's been on All those shows a lot It just makes me happy To have Sarah Silverman back in the mix I mean I don't think she went anywhere But you know If she wasn't releasing an album And with you know live shows really curtailed And stuff it was like I felt like wow I haven't seen Sarah Silverman for a while and it really Makes me happy to see her on television

Being funny yes absolutely And behind that desk and hopefully we get To see her behind that desk Or other desks as well you know it's just Been so male dominated I think she'd be great

Honestly like I like I'm a Jimmy Kimmel fan I know you're a little bit more Like could kind of take him or leave him Would that be an accurate statement yeah definitely

Like he kind of that his background of being Kind of a bro kind of doesn't always You know I kind of categorize him in that Way although I was watching him Interview our favorite comedian Patty Harrison the other day because I was trying to figure out Why she's not on Twitter anymore and I found that really Delightful yeah I think

He started out you know obviously with the man Show and kind of in bro culture but I would Say whereas Adam Carolla Has devolved It seems like Jimmy Kimmel has evolved And he very famously took on the president. And, you know, his his child with his wife, Molly, had a heart condition and that became a big issue around health care in this country. I think he is kind of like going in the like, I don't know. I'm the arbiter of what the right direction is, but it feels like Kimmel's going in the right direction.

Yeah, no, I definitely agree with that, too. And it's not like I harbor ill feelings towards him. I just I don't really play in the late night space that much anyway. And so he wouldn't be probably the first one I would turn on. Although, like you say, when I do end – oh, also a big part of his show for a while was kind of the pranking thing. I remember like he went viral with the – was it the Sochi Olympics where he was like –

Wouldn't he do that thing where he'd be on a bus and he would take someone's hat off and then he would mark it up with a marker? Was that one of the pranks? Was that him?

I have something here I really – I have two things I want to share with you. Okay, and then we've got to get to Blur's Days. Then we've got to get to Blur's Days. Very – well, very quickly, let me play a little bit of this for you. Our boy What is his name James Who's our comedian who imitates Trump

That guy's name I can never Remember either James Austin Johnson It's a kind of generic-ish name But yeah, the guy that does the Trump impressions That's so great, and he's on Comedy Bang Bang I listened to a Comedy Bang Bang with him on there With you in the Delica

He was a guest once, but anyway, James Austin Johnson The reason I am mentioning this is we use his tape quite a bit And I want everybody to know that he is also on Cameo, and he is sometimes posting the cameos he's doing to his Instagram page as Trump, if you want to listen to a little bit of this.

Excuse me. Excuse me, Brett. We want to say a beautiful hello to Catherine Cat Chadwick. Miss Cat Chadwick. We want to tell her how incredibly, incredibly, so wonderfully happy we are. Tremendously happy to be sending this incredible cameo. A cameo better than anyone's ever seen. A lot better than Kenny G. A lot better than Kenny G. They say that we do the cameos a lot better than Kenny G. and certainly a lot better than sleepy joe you know i heard that you cat that you grew up in delaware right next to sleepy joe and that maybe you even dated him maybe even made out at the drive-in theater but of course when sleepy joe was a little boy they didn't even have movies they just had vaudeville and they had little people you know doing the

puppets on sticks anyway he goes out it's like three minutes i just like that it's just the best jump impression out there so weird and good okay so i just wanted to share that he is doing cameos and so if you want it uh support him because we use his audio all the time and he just brings so much delight to my life and finally i know we need to wrap up this segment but i don't want to do this in the blurs day so i do i will do it here i am still on the private investigator website and further down in the pine it's still in the pineapples swinging good time article They also list – I just feel like this is good classic TVTL material here. Here are a few other signs of a swinging lifestyle. Are you ready for about seven more signs of a swinging lifestyle, Luke? Try to stop me. A man or woman wearing a red ball cap.

What?

Is that what's going on at those MAGA writings? I know. I know. Like how – that's so – okay. White landscaping rocks in someone's front yard.

What?

Yeah, I feel like this is one of those shows that is going to change the way we look at the world forever. We're just, we are just surrounded by hornballs. Wearing a thumb ring. What? Wearing a toe ring. Switching the wedding ring to the right hand. That one I actually believe, although I didn't even, I don't know. That actually sort of has a ring of truth to me. A yin-yang tattoo. What? Garden gnomes.

You're describing half of South Florida. White landscaping rocks, garden gnomes, and questionable tattoos. The big headline here is everyone in Parma, Ohio is a swinger.

Pink flamingos is another sign. And finally, a metal star on the front of the house. So there you go. Just keep your eye out for that. All those folks are swingers. Learning so much.

Do we have? Is there like, there's got, I mean, we have to come up with a show title that's kind of related to this.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, maybe we can do that offline.

Swinging for the fences? No.

Don't mean a thing. Well, no, that's just a song.

Swing and a miss? Swing and a hit?

Yeah, swing and a miss would maybe be what I'm doing right now.

um that's fascinating i i mean not nobody should go out and bother anyone but i would just love to see the look on someone's face when you just go up and knock on their front door and you go So, I saw the garden, no. So, sir, what? Are you selling knives? What's going on? So, I saw the white landscaping rocks. Yeah, pretty nice gnome you got there.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing but fun.

A blueberry means you're single. Cherries mean you're in a relationship. But if your love life isn't so straightforward, you have another option. Pineapple means it's complicated. God, I love this website.

I feel like this is the beginning of your journey as a swinger. I don't think it's something you got up this morning thinking was going to be part of your life, but just the kind of iconography around it is so fascinating.

It's not about the sex, Luke. It's about all the trappings. It really is.

I mean, the puttering, the putting up the metal star on your house.

It's like the opposite of passive, like, don't pass me over. Please enter. Hey, everybody. Happy Blur's Day. Let's get more specific, though. Matt in Broomfield, Colorado, says, Happy Blur's Day to Rachel, the soliloquy of Denver creator. Now, I think that is known as the Denver dossier. Oh, sure. Yes, Rachel and Denver.

Was that on Hunter Biden's laptop, the Denver dossier? Ask Ben Shapiro, your new pal.

So, Rachel is the mother of our cats. Rachel is my soul, my life, and my best friend. By the way, I'm reading this. This is Matt saying this, not me. I'm also a fan of Rachel, but these are Matt's words. Rachel is my soul, my life, my best friend. She is the reason for my existence on this earth. As we grow older together, as we get used to each other, the more we think alike, you will always be the perfect partner to share this life with me. Happy birthday, Rachie, Ruth. That is the most romantic thing I've ever read.

Matt, you're going to want to take those garden gnomes down. unless that's a thing you're doing on purpose.

If it is, great.

If not, though, just heads up on that. Abony in Maryland. Abony, unless we have multiple listeners named Abony, which would be quite surprising. I think Abony suggested our music for your weekend last week. That was so good. So good. I mean, shot in the dark. And Abony's description of the music was so good that it got me to put it as music for your weekend. Abony wants to wish a happy Blur's Day to her five, Adrienne. She says, even though she can't believe that he has turned seven already, we're so lucky to have a wonderful kid like you and to always remind us that any problem can be solved by a dance battle. Nice. Happy birthday from your mommy, Q. Speaking of little kids, Andrew, who was the little kid at the beginning of the show? That was Nola. Nola.

Nola. Five-year-old five of Gretchen. Thank you for reminding me to bring that up. Yes. Is that not? I love that song.

Is it too late to put that in a song of the summer company?

What happened with the coffee machine, Luke? What did Nola's dad do? But it's okay. We can make mistakes. Love it. Flash says, last year I tried to be clever, and I ended up using erstwhile and ersatz incorrectly. So today I am shedding the fear of sounding unclever on this, the day of my wife's birthday, to say how grateful I am for my Juliet. sweet English rose that she is she keeps me making tomorrow's coffee today. These are very romantic They really are very cute

I think all of these people have pineapples on their front porches. It's just amazing Now that you see it Andrew, now that the veil has fallen from your eyes. It's like a magic eye game Sure is. Dylan and Julie want to wish a happy early Thursday. Did you do that or did Dylan and Julie do that? No, no, that's how it was submitted Dylan and Julie must have come early to wish dr adrian in portland oregon a happy blurs day what you do is so important uh and shout out to her truly amazing garden ooh la la her darn good heart and her impressive ability to communicate through tbtl drops and references we love you happy blurs day to a dr adrian who i feel like i might have this mixed up or maybe there's a couple of adrians that are doctors in Portland, but I think Adrian, is Adrian maybe an ER doc? Or is that somebody else? I know we had an ER doc. Check in during the pandemic

Anyway, happy Blur's Day, Dr. Adrian For a second there You sounded a little bit like James Austin Johnson's imitation of Trump There was some word that you sort of bit off Or kind of like spit out there That was interesting

I want to try to do my impression of him doing his impression Of Trump, but it will be terrible So I will not Besmirch the Blur's Day segment With my James Austin Johnson impression

Hey, you remember Priscilla? Yeah, I do She made TBTL art and No Mountain Too Tall art and TBTL koozies.

Yeah, you're wearing that hat that says that it's got the No Mountain Too Tall in it. That was our friend Priscilla who designed that.

I just wanted to know if you remembered her. Oh, anyway. Oh, no. She also has a Blur's Day message. Happy Blur's Day to Marshall, a.k.a. Vax Fairy in San Francisco. So thankful for his help this year when he helped me and so many others get vaccinated. Super stoked to celebrate him this weekend And also excited that we are now neighbors Marshall, I appreciate you And thank you for not hating me For my snoring pod dog Okay, wait

There's a lot to unpack from that

You're looking for pineapples here I don't know if they're already

Don't go chasing pineapples That one gets you? This is the show where I sing songs with different lyrics No, the snoring pod dog I wonder why the dog is called a pod dog Does the dog have a podcast?

Well, no, I mean, I think that a lot of You know, like a lot of listeners just refer to their pets as pod pets now Because of your relationship with your pod pets

Also, how loud is the snoring? Priscilla, can you record it on your phone and send it to us? I want to hear this dog snoring that is so loud That you worried that it would drive a wedge between you and Marshall

Yeah, I would like to hear that dog snore

Mel says, happy Blur's Day to my razzle-dazzle. Marshall, it's got to be the same Marshall, right? Oh, Marshall, Marshall, Marshall. Nice. That was pretty good. We moved in together at the beginning of quarantine, and while we may have differing ideas of bedroom layouts, Marshall has taken to Luke's idea of separate beds with a dividing wall. Wow. That will be my legacy, Andrew.

Yes.

Well. If somebody could design a bed that when you went to sleep on it, with your partner was like a normal bed. And then when you fell asleep at some point, it just quietly and silently put a wall up between you. So you could each, and it was very soundproof. So you could each then just sleep in your own little chamber of snoring and whatever. I think that would be a great invention. But anyway, Mel is saying that Marshall is team Luke with that. She is not. Apparently Mel says you are the time realist to my time optimist. and I'm so excited for our future adventures together. That is a very sweet message from Mel to Marshall.

Now, you don't think that's from Mel Magazine, do you? How's the reboot going? Oh, yeah, I don't know. I thought you would tell me. You Mel me. And finally. You've got Mel. You've got Mel. That's the show title. Will you write that down and not forget it as I read this final blurs? Dave and Carrie and Stanwood. The Stanwood 10 say. Oh, we love that. Gwenny is turning 13 years old this week. Are you that kidding me? That's not legal, Gwenny. You know what? It's too old. Dave and Carrie, actually, their next sentence, they knew you were going to say that, and they say, that's right. A 10 who listened to TBTL on Cairo in her crib as an infant is now officially a teenager. Yay. Happy Blur's Day, Gwenny. Love, mom and dad.

That's really cute. Happy Blur's Day, Gwenny.

Yeah. Wow. They grew up so fast.

Well, I walked by a bunch of guys on the street in Portland yesterday. There were dudes in their early 20s that were probably going out for a night on the town or whatever. And they all had on these – you were talking about our friend Durs and his pineapple shirt. Those kind of loud print shirts are pretty in style now. I bought one at J.Crew. I've worn it one time. I wore it in Napa, and I'm like, I don't know if I can pull it off or not. Loud prints are not usually my friend. But I walked by this group of like 10 dudes and it's funny how like There will be dudes start dressing the same If they hang out a lot maybe not everybody but there Was a certain kind of like bro I don't Want to be unnecessarily Mean to these guys but you know there's kind of like a bro culture Where if somebody is sort of the alpha bro You will see the other bros kind of fall In line like they all sort of start wearing kind of the same clothes They all had different versions of these kind of loud Print shirts and I said did you guys go to Dan Flashes and did you say that To him yes and none of them knew what i was talking about except one guy that was in a normal shirt a non-loud print he goes i get that reference he was just like in a regular like white shirt all the guys in these loud prints and i was like did you guys go to dan flashes and i thought this is the demo for i think you should leave right like it's you know a bunch of dudes of a certain age yeah maybe i yeah

Actually, I do wonder, like, it's like everybody that I follow on Instagram, even strangers, all reference, I think you should leave, right? But I do feel like it's sort of a dividing line in the culture. And, you know, I'm not saying you need to be on one side or the other, but it does seem almost like a quasi-secret language, a very, very popular secret language, if that can exist.

Yes. And also, I want to mention that our friend, our boy Stu, did totally get your I think you should leave reference. Oh, yeah. Just because of his cell phone technology was not able to, you know, put the laugh thing on there or give you the reaction. But, of course, I mean, Stu is like patient zero of I think you should leave. Yes. He probably told us about it before anybody did. Yeah, exactly. All right.

Thoughts on a song to go out with? Yeah, what do we go out with here? You know, usually I have a song picked out, but I actually don't have anything on my mind right now. Do you have anything?

I have a song that I screen capped the other day. It just came up on a random playlist. It's Brigitte Bardot Oh la la Oh la la I can't

I can't tell you the name of the song

I think it's It's in French it's M-O-I I know I'm sorry all I listen to is French pop music from 20 years ago Not 20 years ago 40 years ago So I think the song might be called Moi J'ai Joie So M-O-I J-E-J-O-U-E And it's by Brigitte Bardot Oh, yeah, I got it right here. Yep, absolutely, yeah. The song is kind of loony, but I just liked it. So let's go out with that one. Okay, yeah, I'm intrigued. All right, you've got Mel. That's the show time.

Oh, nice. Thank you. I forgot already.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll see you tomorrow. Until then, please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

I want to play against you. I want to play against you. But do you want to play? From all heart. I want to win this heart to heart. Vous connaissez mon jeu par cœur Alors défendez-vous Sans tricher Je vous le promets J'ai gagné Tant pis c'est bien fait Vous êtes mon jouet À présent Ce ne sera plus vous mais toi Et tu feras ça T'apprendras n'importe quoi pour moi I got to hand it to you, kiddo.

You came in here like a house on fire, barnstorming. You made your points. Good schmuckus on you. Power out.