Muse

hello I have a little song I heard there was a secret food that when you ate could make you poo but you don't really care for spicy do you put them on my nachos please and when you do don't forget the cheese my favorite little pepper jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Love the show, power out

TBTL What will your first sequence of the day be? Computer, load up, celery man, please He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise. He loves other things as well.

You guys are so fun. Just relentlessly fun. I keep thinking, when are they going to stop being fun? And the answer is never.

That was great. That was good. You went for it. I appreciate that.

What do you say we go out and get some Carvel? I got the time if you got the diapers. all righty hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live why now what are they doing and how can you steer clear of it all my name is luke burbank i am your host it's a kind of magic coming to you from the nest broadcast center high in the sky above portland oregon where uh golly, this morning it was actually chilly when I was getting out there for my morning yawg. And I don't know if... I don't know if there has been a time in the last two months when I've been outside in Portland, Oregon, where I have not been slightly over het. In fact, there might even be some rain today. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. Will be a kind of a welcome change around here. So things are already off to a good start here on episode 3490 in a collector series let the fun begin things are off to a good start and they're only going to get better because today we will reveal uh the final two competitors in the tbtl song of the summer contest i've been waiting for this moment for months and it's finally here uh we've also got um well some sky jinx afoot american airlines has taken the proactive step of telling their flight attendants to please not use duct tape to tape down unruly passengers and they're not the only airline potentially dealing with this apparently spirit and frontier have actually been uh have been doing this uh so we will uh check in on the latest with that and i started watching a television show last night on a home box office it's not television it's hbo uh that i have got to really power through because this thing is going to get spoiled for me i love television i've got to have that thing on 24 7 i love the patter their entire like i cannot look at newyorkmagazine.com right now because the top like four stories are about this television show that i started watching last night this is i feel that the pressure of the modern era too much has been said about spoilers that's not a particularly interesting topic but i swear to god this show came out a week ago and if i don't power watch six hours of it tonight i'm hosed because all the things are mike white explains the ending of white orchid i'm like can we explain the beginning of it because that's where i'm at i started can i get a week on this please internet uh so there you go i just did the segment you heard it we probably won't get to it now it doesn't matter because we have bigger fish to fry including the fact that i went and got not one but two covid tests yesterday in a place called oregon city oregon and um it was unpleasant for a variety of reasons it was literally a major disaster uh some of them self-inflicted and some of them just because of the way of the world these days

as the delta variant has resurged uh so uh i'll give you the story on that of course we'll do all that with the help of this guy longest running cobra of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships this guy is a four and a half foot tall pile of awesomeness he is andrew welsh and he's joining me right now from the roosevelt neighborhood of seattle washington

good morning my friend good morning luke i want to talk about that white lotus thing too i'm kind of in a similar boat which is not exactly usual for me because i'm not usually racing to catch up on stuff but i i saw i saw that it was trending yesterday too because i heard a little bit of rumblings white lotus yeah it's probably worth watching i didn't know it was a mike white project

then anything that mike white does i'm like sign me up i love that dude well

I love you.

like him too although i gotta say i don't live by that because i still haven't seen vice but anyway it is funny how twitter i just see it you know oh it's trending oh he he speaks out he speaks out on white lotus and i'm just like i guess i gotta watch this now i just felt compelled so it sounds like you're ahead of me but we'll both be racing through in the next two days

i guess lest it is spoiled for us so um yeah we may revisit this topic later in the show So, of course, we can't go any further in the program without welcoming our friend, my actual brother, and the person administrating the TBTL Song of the Summer competition, one David from The Basement.

I'm aware of how destiny is going to take its course, brother. Bro, brother's brah. Brother's brother. Brother's brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother.

I got about, like, 45 seconds into the Hulk Hogan montage, and I was like, even I can't subject the listeners to that again. So I thought we would just take the edge off with a little Marvin Gaye. Hello, David. Welcome back to the show.

Hi, thank you. Eventually, we're going to get to a point where the drop just exceeds the length of the show itself.

That would be actually maybe good for a holiday show.

Just fill some air.

Yeah, just basically, like, 60 minutes of the intro for you, and then we can all just take the day off. how are you i'm doing very well how are you guys doing good we were talking before the show about the weather here in portland and i heard you saying that you're just so relieved that it's like not uh 100 degrees right now because i mean did you know you moved to portland you and alicia and penny moved to portland fairly recently too did you realize it was going to be this much warmer

than no than seattle or or bellingham or wherever no so we we moved last summer um last june and And so we had the entire of last summer also here. And it was very surprising because it is just it's not only does it feel hotter than Seattle or sort of the more northern Pacific Northwest, but it feels kind of muggier also. Like, I feel like it is a little more humid. And this past week has been pretty rough. We don't have AC in our place. We were actually trying to, like, set up this AC unit. We bought the wrong type. Did you get one of those? Josh come over, and they couldn't help us, and it was a whole thing.

Why don't you – don't even think to ask your big brother, your actual big brother, to help? Is this the reputation that I've carefully cultivated within the family of not being helpful?

I figured you were off in some cabin somewhere. I probably was.

Did you buy one of those ACs that it's standalone, but then it runs like a hose out the window or something for the condensation?

No. If we had bought one of those, then it would have been a far more comfortable week that we just got through. But it was – we did like the full window sort of installation one, which is made for, I guess, like a two-panel up and down window. And we have a sort of side-to-side window. Oh, yeah. And so it wasn't going to work. But our neighbors have ones that are similar, and so we thought we could maybe work it out. Josh and I were working for like an hour and a half on it. Didn't end up being able to do it, and so Sarah and Josh invited us over. So we stayed a night there, which was really nice because they have AC in their basement. It's just so nice and cool.

First of all, I'm falling way behind in the sibling. I don't know if I was ever near the top. But the fact that this apartment was sitting here uninhabited as I was sweating it out at Lake Billy Chinook and that y'all could have come over. I mean, it sounds like you had a nice time. And you're going to, again, bond even further with the other siblings in the family. But just know that if you guys between now and I don't know how long it stays hot important. and let's just assume it's towards the end of September. If it gets too hot, come on over. I can turn this into, I can put an airbed in here. All right. Penny is welcome. Well, thank you.

Thank you very much for the invite.

Andrew, you're on your own. That's the thing. I was going to ask. You and Veeves. Did you and Veeves ever get, you got some window units, right, or something? No.

No, we didn't do anything. You never did. No, I don't think we ever talked about it. No, I think you're confusing me with maybe one of your siblings. I just, I thought that. One of your better siblings.

Well, no, you know what I was thinking of, and this is nothing mechanical. You were just describing your windows once as being kind of those more old-fashioned windows that you put up, and then you've got that kind of rectangular screen that expands, you know, that you can just put there to at least create airflow and keep the bugs out. But I'm kind of surprised, actually, maybe not so much from you, because you have, I think, kind of—you've adopted a certain monastic lifestyle up there in Roosevelt, just kind of trying to not—just not be wasteful and things like that. But Veeves is much more like me. I feel like Veeves loves shopping. She loves figuring out the cool new thing. And when you know it's going to be 110 degrees, I mean, maybe at that point it was too late. There was no getting air conditioning as it got that hot. And then the rest of the summer, you don't actually need it in Seattle. Is that kind of how it unfolded?

Yeah, I think it's been a...

just it's been you know a few brutal days that were really were brutal but by the time and one thing about the weather i said this when we were going through the first heat dome thing it's like i never take the weather seriously enough you know people and i and i never pay attention to it far enough out it's like everybody was already talking about the heat wave that was going to be happening the next day and then i was like oh like yeah i guess it'll be warm and i remember thinking that people were sort of overreacting until i realized oh no no this is going to be like really really dangerously hot so that might be part of it i don't know i i don't want i don't want to sign off on monastic i don't think that's true at all i think we i think we like to um i think we spend a lot of money on kind of silly things but i do think that it might be uh i don't know to me just like getting an air conditioning unit in here kind of seems like a pain in the ass i do think that vives and i maybe do share sort of a um hesitation to buy more appliances and units and things that are going to like clunk up our lifestyle you know as people say well i mean famously clunk up sure i mean honestly like of the times when the difference in our personality

is most sort of apparent and and drastic on this show uh you couldn't find one where more clearly is more clearly illustrated than like you're kind of just going yeah you know it's going to be like three days in the summer it's not going to be any fun meanwhile i've told this story before when i was living in new york and i was doing that that npr show uh like there was a weekend in brooklyn because addy was staying with me for the summer and it was i mean it gets obviously really hot in new york and it's not very it's it's more than three days it's pretty much every day and so i just was like this cannot go on and then i go to the um pf richard son the like place down and like kind of a by bark what's now barclay center in brooklyn and by like three or Maybe it was like two of the hugest window air conditioning units of all time. I had to hire some Rasta dudes with a van who were just standing outside the P.F. Richard & Sons.

Is that like a – of course, it's just another regional reference, but is that like a Fred Meyer?

No, it's more like a – it's sort of like a shittier Fry's RIP, but not nearly as big because in New York, you just can't – in the city, you just can't have giant three-square block. So it's like the size of a Rite Aid But it's where you buy all your electronics needs In Brooklyn Like the size of a medium sized Rite Aid So it's not like a giant building But it's just the place you go And then of course I hire these guys To drive this stuff back Because again this is one of the beauties of New York Is like if you don't have a car like I did And you just can't get anything from point A to point B Without bringing somebody else into the process They help me lug it up the stairs It's so heavy that I have to I drill, or not drill, but I screw it down with these like long screws into the window. So I'm like, man, I get the deposit back on this. And then like a week later, I quit the Bryant Park project and just move home. And just move back. It's like, hey, somebody enjoy $800 worth. So see, that would be an example, Andrew, of really, what did you say? Of clunking it up?

Clunking. Yeah, you know, and it's funny, like, and I'm not trying to be, and maybe I am being, but I'm not trying to be defensive about the monastic thing. It's just that I don't even think it occurred to us to get an air conditioning. Well, that's when you've reached this.

That's when you've reached Siddhartha level.

I just like it's just like I mean, you know, I don't know if Genevieve's an earshot or not. Like it never even occurred to me because, again, it's like, well, by the time I realize it's hitting, everybody's going to get it. And I think it's like I think if anything, for me, it's just laziness. The idea of like, oh, trying to fight either crowds. I really hate I really hate trying to buy a snow shovel when there's snow on the ground in Seattle. It is just so depressing and frustrating to go to store after store after store and them not having a snow shovel.

And now we're talking like me trying to get a covid test yesterday.

Oh, yeah. Let's talk about that. That's way more interesting. Well, no, but no, no, I wasn't. I wasn't trying to shut you down.

But that was literally the exact experience I had yesterday was trying to buy a snow shovel when it had just snowed three inches. And they were predicting it's going to snow two more feet. Yeah, it was just it was. Well, that's why I ended up in Oregon City at 7 o'clock at night, sitting in my car with mild stomach distress.

Well, let's start from the beginning. Why did you want the tests, and did you say you got two?

Well, okay. So for about the last four days, I had been feeling a little bit short of breath, which I couldn't tell if it was because of the fires and there's just particulates in the air. Yeah. Or if it was – or because I've just been trying to exercise more and I'm literally at this – like when you're 25 and you exercise more, you feel better. And when you're 45 and you exercise more, your body is like red alert. What are we doing right now? And so I couldn't quite figure it out. But I knew David was coming over today and I also – we were going to have this big like almost all-day live. meeting kind of to plan out the fall and try to figure out what we're going to do um with the pandemic etc and that was supposed to be in person at our offices and it just felt like it was irresponsible if i was feeling any kind of weird un i can't pin it down tiredness i was like literally that person's googling what are the signs of covid and you know shortness of breath is one of them and also i've been having a little bit of lower back pain which again could be because i'm trying to become a basketball player again and my lower back is like what are we doing right now what no we we thought that this was uh this was in the rearview mirror of our experience so anyway i'll get on the computer yesterday and i'm like okay i'm sure like because i never really give any deep thought to anything until it affects me directly so i'd heard something about like covid tests or people having a hard time finding covid tests will you go on i'm like i'll just go to a walgreens or something i'm sure it's like probably next to the pregnancy tests and you just go get it and you like lick something or whatever and it just tells you you have covid or you don't

that's kind of what i thought the process was well your baby has covid you're pregnant and

your baby has covid yeah exactly actually that's a twofer you can get those um i find it amazing that they lock up pregnancy tests at drug stores oh do they because they're very expensive and very easy to steal and you can imagine that sometimes people are in a a bit of a desperate state a A little pro tip, you can also get pregnancy tests at the dollar store, and they are just as effective. I did not know that. And next time that comes up, which may be never in my life at this rate, that's good to know. Because, yeah, I'll see those pregnancy tests locked up at, like, the front of the drugstore behind them. And I'm like, I mean, really? Like, can't we just – those should be free. Like, particularly – you know why? Because I have some pretty strong, pretty vivid memories of pregnancy tests from when I was 17 and it being a big deal. But anyway, and also the $20 being prohibitively expensive. So that's why I still don't know if Addy's mine. Okay, so I'm going on like Walgreens and they're like rapid tests. And I'm going and they're like no, no, like no appointments available. And it's like the next appointment is like next week. And I'm going to every single. Then I go to CVS. Same thing. Then I'm going to Zoom Care. Then I'm going to Zumba Which isn't even They didn't even do that That's just a place Where you work out To like clip Dance it out Yeah Just dance the COVID out Yeah Thanks LCD sound system So I like I end up on And then I'm Googling And I'm getting onto These websites That are clearly Have just sprung up To sort of Make money off of people That are trying to find COVID tests Because I'm like Oh this looks promising Because it's like Showing me all these places And then none of them Have it And when I click I'm getting weird screens And I look up and it's like, COVID biz test, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like someone wrote, someone quickly wrote a program that SEOs it up so that when I'm trying to find this, it just grabs me. And then it looks just, they just like, they basically tricked me into like 20 clicks I didn't want to do. Right. So then I go, so then I'm reading, I literally was reading like a local TV news article about where you can get a COVID test. And they just quoted someone from this thing called like AFC. I have a text from them here somewhere. Um, uh, I think it's called AF, AFC, like emergency care. It's just like one of those walk-in clinics. So I'm like, I don't know. I'll try. So I go on their website. They've got like five locations. I go to every location. No, no, no, no, no. The last one, Oregon city. So I don't know where Oregon city is. I'm thinking maybe it's like in Eastern Oregon. Maybe it's like a four hour drive, but it was like, we have one at six 53 tonight. So I was like, click. So that's how I ended up there. mercifully it's only like a half hour from here it's not really that far but um you know they have a lot of systems in place rightfully so so you pull up and it's all you're in your car and you have to text them and i had to zoom with a nurse who to like so the person administering the test i don't believe was a registered nurse i think they're a you know technician of some kind but

it's like you pull up in the park you cannot go into the building you can't even call them you're just texting them you're getting texts back they're like you need to do the like there's a bunch of hoops to jump through that i was because i'm me incorrectly jumping through them so they'd actually bring some physical paperwork out so like one of the things is you get you can get two tests because i got the i got the rapid test which came back negative otherwise obviously davy i would not have invited you over and is that the one that's less invasive too it's just

like kind of i think i had one of those right before the only time i got tested was right before my surgery and i was nervous about that because i thought they're going to go mining And it turns out, no, it was just like one They just gave it to me And I just did a very shallow swab And then gave it back to them And within 15 minutes they told me I was clear

Well, I've been actually tested A lot because Of the CBS gig And one of the deals was before we could even go this was during the the real sort of uh height of the shutdown we would have to like go take a covet test before we get on an airplane so i was going to this one place in bellingham which was like the place where they just didn't take it that seriously i guess or they just well what i mean is they didn't put that you know long q-tip this was in the early days when we had a test but it wasn't rapid it was it took a couple days to process and they would put it up my nose a little bit but it wasn't like crazy bad so that's kind of what i was expecting this time and so i should have known because the nurse i was like telemedicining with who was asking me about my symptoms and stuff she said i said well i want to get the um the rapid test but i also want to get the like the test where you mail it out to the lab because i've heard that the rapid test can be a little unreliable and she said okay well you know that means you're going to get two tests and i was yeah fine i'll get two tests but there was something in her voice that i should have realized was like her saying i don't know if you want to get that second test bro i was like okay so then the very nice uh technician comes out and she's got two things and she's like okay i'm gonna do the first one and she does like the rapid test and then and she puts it back in the little sleeve and she says okay this one will take about 20 minutes and then she gets she goes and this is the one we mail away she goes this one's the devil oh my goodness You never want to hear someone say that before a medical procedure.

That is a weird bedside manner. Like, what is the upshot of that? I know.

She goes, I can go other nostril if you want.

She does it all the different ways.

She was like, which I was like, oh, this is like, this is not going to be great. And so, first of all, it wasn't even a – like, I'm used to a kind of a little kind of Q-tip type thing that's on a long, you know, wood – Swab. Swab, like long wood stem. This was different. This was flat. It didn't even look like anything I had seen before. Shaped for maximum amount of penetration. I guess that she goes – this one goes – then she's like, okay, this one goes up really high. And I'm like – and I'm immediately flashing through when people started getting these tests, depending on like our friend Roden said it was like they were hitting the front of his brain. Yeah, yeah. Like you'd heard – I'd heard from so many people about how bad it was, and I had never had a terrible experience with it. And I'm thinking, oh, this is going to be like what they all said it was. And in fact, it was very bad.

Now, can I jump in one second here though? Because I do feel like there's two different kinds, right? The kinds that are very minimally invasive altogether. But I know – I think you've talked on the show before. You did have a like I'm going to say you have had the tests that are not minimally invasive. You've had the ones that are like the brain ticklers only affect you that much.

And I wonder if that was youthful cocaine use really bored things out or if that was like just because I got technicians who were not fully committed to hitting the front of my brain. I don't know. I have had the ones that were allegedly invasive and they didn't feel very bad. I will tell you this one. I was like, am I on hot ones? This one we call The Devil. What is that? What is Hot Wins? That's that YouTube show where people eat hot wings and they have to be interviewed. Oh, yeah, yeah, the Paul Rudd. Yes, yes, yes. And they're always setting it up like this is, you know, like the SNL parody of it. We're like, this is the devil's anus. Like this lady was giving me this swab like it was Hot Wins or something. And it was like she goes way up there. And I'm like, okay, this is – and she goes, and it's still got to go higher.

Oh, my gosh.

I know. And the thing about this – okay, now this is going to be a classic Luke take on the situation. Are you ready for it? I am guessing that it doesn't have to be that.

I was going to say it. I should have – I was going to jump in and try to guess what the take was, and that was going to be it.

I am guessing that it is probably – they could have gotten the same information from going 60% as far up my nostril. But, I mean, obviously – I don't even think it's a liability thing. these people seem super nice like i don't i'm not trying to blame them they're not the hotel telling me they're saving the whales by not washing the towels or the sheets but it's like if you're the only person who suffers in this scenario is the person who's having something jammed up their nose everybody else wins if the test i mean also by the way the person who is asking for the test wins if the test is accurate but i guess i just mean of course they're going to go a little further than they need to because they want to err on the side of caution there and of course whoever trains them is going to tell them to go further and whoever manufactures that weird whoever manufactures the devil's swab and again swab is misleading swab sounds like oh let me swab you let me gently run something across your skin this thing was a blade whoever designed it of course everyone is invested in going as far up your nostril as they can because then there are no there are fewer false positives or false negatives there's like no lawsuits there's it's again the information is more accurate which is a good outcome but i just you know me i'm always suspicious of these kinds of rules And I was just thinking, I bet you don't have to do it this hard, lady. Then I'm just like, she pulls it out. I mean, again, she could not have been more sweet. And then she was like, I know, I'm sorry. She goes, and I'm just crying. I just have tears running down my face. She's like, everyone cries from this and stuff. I was like, wow, okay. But that was only like top three of my problems. Because I got on this kick. So Becca got me these like crunchy habanero. this like crunchy habanero sauce if you will i think it might be from trader joe's uh because i've been trying to eat a little better and she's a very healthy eater and so she has been like bringing me stuff just like oh hey try this i like this this this kind of um these beans are better than something that is very similar to them because these ones have no like trans fat or she's just like slowly helping stock my pantry with the like kind of like least processed version of a lot of different things but also stuff that still tastes good and so she gives me this jar of like crunchy habanero it's a little like almost like a chili sauce chili oil that you would use but the habaneros are also still kind of in there and they're all i don't know what they're like dried or something and it is so good but so spicy and i have the most messed up relationship with these crunchy habaneros because i will put like three of them on a cracker speaking of hot ones speaking of the devil's anus when you say three of them i was picturing a jelly or a gel just wait right here you know what because today we are on zoom as well as recording the audio if you guys just give me two seconds i'll go grab the jar and then

everybody can see what i'm talking about okay uh while we're doing this david now while dad's out of the room we can uh-huh yeah the um the song of the summer results we have a i think a pretty

big shocker coming up yeah i mean so we're going to be revealing the two finalists going into the final and uh yeah it is shocking to say the least yes and a nail biter okay here can i take a screen

grab of this luke will you yeah sure here you go yeah do it do a screen cap so you can see them

does anybody know how to do a screen grab okay do a are you on a uh you're on a pc of course i'm on this think pad they sent me from work i don't know how any of it works we can figure it out later

okay well so uh it says hot and crispy habanero peppers in olive oil it's vegan it's gluten free and it's they're very yummy but they're very hot but i i i like the taste of them so much that i will have this like running conversation in my brain like you should leave those alone for a few hours because it's also like painful like the kind of thing where you eat one and then you drink water and as we've learned on the show when you drink water it makes it worse because it spreads the oil around so i eat one like i'll put a couple on a cracker and i'll eat it and i'll be like and then it'll like be really painful but kind of fun like it's stimulating the trigeminal nerve as i learned many years ago during that hot cheeto story um well the thing is and i'm you know this is just i guess this is human biology but what goes in must come out and the one thing that will reliably create a bit of stomach discomfort for me is eating well eating really garlicky food which these are probably swimming in garlic as well and eating really hot food and i guess it was that i just hadn't put it together how this test was going to work because you pull up they there's all this paperwork you have to tell a zoom with a nurse they come out you also have to wait there after they give you the test they don't let you leave even the rapid one i think it's because they don't want to be trying to track someone down like you're calling their cell phone and they're not answering and then you haven't really given them the information properly so the deal is you have to sit there and wait for the results and i'm telling you my friends i was in a lot a lot of discomfort as i was oh i of course the test starts at 653 i'm rolling in at 653 so there was no time for me to like run and you know go find somewhere to use the facilities You cannot go into the clinic, that's like Fort Knox, and you have to just sit there waiting. And I was, like, getting pretty nervous because also the car is off. It's, you know, it wasn't, thankfully it wasn't 100 degrees yesterday, but it was still pretty warm in the afternoon. And I have to have the car off and the windows down, and I'm, like, feeling that just building discomfort. And it was, yeah, it was tough.

Did you say how far, you said this is Oregon City, did you say how far of a drive that is from? Like a half hour. Okay, so after all of this, even after the waiting, you're going to have to get probably a half-hour drive home or find a facility.

I am now at the age, and I've had enough bad experiences, which have been thoroughly documented on the show, that if I really have to go, I will just, like, sorry, Oregon City Wendy's. Like, this is happening. Like, that used to be very daunting to me, which is why I would find myself sometimes in especially bad situations, because I was just so embarrassed around going in. into, like, those public restrooms. Now I'm like, if that's what's got to happen, that's what's got to happen. The crazy part was, as soon as she came back out and said, handed me the sheet and said, you don't have COVID, it just went away.

Oh, yeah.

So maybe it was also nerves. Oh, interesting. Well, a combination of nerves and habaneros. That's the rapid one. That's the rapid one.

And do you still wait on the long... I was a little confused. I'm sorry, just to rewind a little bit, and this is probably on me, but why did you feel the need for both? Because you wanted a quick result, but you wanted the more accurate result that'll come a couple of days later, too?

Two reasons. I wanted to just be extra careful. And since I could get both of them, I figured, why not? At that point, I didn't know one was called the Devil's Swap. Sure, yeah. But I just thought this is more efficient for me to get both of them. And also, you know, I feel pretty confident that I don't have COVID. But I also will feel especially confident when I – and also Camaro Kev, like JD and Thunder are coming down this weekend for a little Portland hangout. And so I just wanted to be extra, extra sure. Gotcha. The other reason is because it's covered by insurance and we have the shittiest insurance ever at APM. Oh, my God. It covers like nothing except apparently this test, probably because of the Biden administration made them. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to avail myself of the one thing our insurance is good for, which is the fancy covid test.

I shit you not. That's how my brain works. I'm still waiting for the insurance to start paying for any of my medical bills related to my finger. I'm not even joking. It has been a bit of a I won't say nightmare. I'm not up to nightmare status yet, but I still don't know if they're covering anything. Remember all that talk about when I fell and broke my fingers? I was like, well, at least I saved my camera. Oh, my God. I would sacrifice many cameras for these medical bills.

It's so much easier when you just don't have any insurance and you just really hope and pray that you never get into a bad situation. Not my experience, but. Well, listen. We have a ton. obviously we're it's we're very privileged to have any kind of insurance like you know from our employer i think the way it's set up is if something super duper bad happened allegedly it would kick in it's very much like catastrophic but for everything else it seems like it's more just a susan just a light dusting of coverage like i decided i need to get a doctor here in portland and so i went through the website and again i want to preface all this by saying i'm very lucky to be healthy and i'm very lucky to have insurance and we have listeners who are dealing with much greater medical challenges and much more vexing insurance situations or lack thereof but i went through the website the apm website to try to find like who am i kind of who what kind of doctor can i see you know like what is that who do i go talk to and maybe it will cost me a little less because we have this insurance which we pay into it's our company's insurance and we work in public radio which you'd think that that's the whole like the the deal with public radio and also like public sector jobs usually is the pay is a little lower but the benefits are pretty solid that's just kind of the that's typically how that works like if you go work for some high-flying uh angel invested startup in silicon valley you may not have the greatest insurance but you're also you know you stand to make a billion dollars when the stock goes public if you work for the post office you don't make as much money on a day-to-day basis but your your your retirement and your benefits should be pretty solid that's just kind of how things have shaken out in this society uh but anyway so i was like well maybe i'll be able to see a doctor here in portland first of all it's like two month two month wait for a doctor so thank you everyone who hasn't been vaccinated really appreciate that i don't know if those are directly connected because i'm not trying to go to the er but i still can't help but feel frustrated then i'm looking at all the doctors that are listed uh from the website of our work so you go into this website something called health partners and every doctor it says um how much will the patient pay and it's like 260 for the visit it's like how much will the employer pay zero dollars yeah i could have find one doctor where the employer was gonna pay any money and

i thought how how is this insurance yeah i am yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna talk about my experience right now but it's the same same deal like i'm just we're talking about the fact that we have insurance and david you said you know i think you implied we should be glad that we have some insurance i mean we have insurance in name only i feel like so far there's no actual evidence insuring sure there's been no insuring there's been paying out of pocket a lot of money and no insuring i just keep on getting statements saying oh and what they'll do is what the insurance says is every time it's like we've worked with your provider to get you this deal and it's like ten dollars less than what it would have been but other than that we're paying zero and i'm like okay and i get one of these a week i get one of these uh things a week so anyway that's what a fun conversation so you don't have covid from the rapid response you're waiting on the other

results that's the i think that's the good news and you didn't poop your pants i didn't poop my pants i don't have covid uh at least according to the first test and so you know

I think that's overall a pretty good outcome. So, all right, let's take a quick break, and then when we come back, we're going to find out which songs are moving on in the Song of the Summer Contest, plus some e-mails and v-mails right here on TBTL. All right, let's thank our donors of the day who are making the show possible. here on this Tuesday with their generous support. Got to thank Robert Rowe out there in Sammamish, Washington. One of my best childhood memories was swimming in Lake Sammamish when I was a kid. I don't think you were even born yet, Davey. You know, you couldn't have been because I must have been like six or something. We went on a family trip to Lake Sammamish. We swam. And what I remember is we got pizza on the way home. And, like, I was so excited that I wouldn't even sit in my chair. I was doing that thing where you squat. Like, you're squatting, so your feet are on the chair where you should be sitting. And you're, like, in a hunching, squatting position. Classic Gollum, sort of. Exactly. Oh, wow. Exactly. That's a perfect description. I was just Gollum sitting there just, like, I couldn't believe that there had both been swimming and pizza in one day. and I was pretty psyched about it. And in the right order, I will say, because otherwise you're getting friends. Right, definitely. So thanks, Robert. Thanks for checking in from Sammamish. Also, Sarah Settlemyer is in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. I am going to go out on a limb. Well, I think last time we were talking about Carlisle, Pennsylvania, we were talking about the Carlisle School, which was a very unfortunate situation out there. It was like a school that was set up for young Native American people that ended up being a very bad situation. I also feel like Jim Thorpe, the great Olympian, was from Carlisle, but maybe he just went to the Carlisle school. Anyway, thanks, Sarah, for donating to the show. We do appreciate it. Lynn Stell is in Bainbridge on Bainbridge Island, not in Bainbridge Island. In Bainbridge Island would be a problem. Like buried. Yeah. Up to the waist Yeah Just in the sand Out there as the ferries Come in and out Of Bainbridge I think she's on it And she is donating to the show Thanks Lynn Maggie Lewis Stevenson Is in Georgetown Delaware Indeed D.E. There's a lot of Georgetown's Out there Is it just a given Those are all named For George Washington Or King George

George Washington I'm guessing

Right Unless it was a thing Where when we were Still under the thumb Of the British rule, if we were having to name things

Georgetown for King George? I don't know. I feel like they would have changed it.

Those revolutionaries. Yeah, I don't think they would keep that. They would probably keep that name. They were busy just putting up statues of horrible, horrible people

that now we're trying to change. How am I taking the donors? Listen, this whole time I've been feeling like I am not working with Luke enough here. I need to figure out how to work with him, but I'm not coming up with any good ways to do it. I apologize, it's on me

No, it's, you know, I took it to the Carlisle School I took it to Lynn being buried under Bainbridge I did have one positive childhood memory of eating pizza After going in Lake Sammamish Brett and Elizabeth Strock are in Marietta, Georgia And I don't have any negative association I have nothing to offer about Marietta, Georgia Other than positivity, which is, I bet it's a beautiful place I've probably been through there at some point Back in the day And then, oh, look at who's right here Sarah Sunt in Boise, Idaho. I assume that Sarah is just continuing to live the life and now visiting, not to turn this into an ad for our buddy, Barry, but now that there's a broadcast coffee in Boise.

I know for a fact that she and Casey were able to check out the new broadcast cafe.

Right on. Well, listen, Sarah, Elizabeth, Brett, Maggie, Lynn, Sarah, and Robert, thank you so much for donating to TBTL. Thanks for making the show possible. We really do appreciate it. hello and welcome to top story all righty here we are my friends drum roll please uh it is we are going from the semi-finals from the final four down to the final two of the song of the summer right yes correct very exciting how you so were you guys just were you guys just hyping hyping it when you said it's shocking or are you actually pretty surprised um i was i was definitely surprised when andrew sent me the results at least of one of the matchups um we have a really another one that's like less than five votes uh is separating the winner

and the loser. And so, yeah, it was definitely surprising. One of them I found less surprising, but, yeah, the results are pretty definitive.

Can I ask you a question? Have you been voting as well, David, or do you feel that as... Also, I want to talk about this idea of administrator. Are you the Mike Richards

of...

No, that would be a few of the songs.

I've been looking for the song of the summer, and I found out it's me.

It turns out I wrote a song with my ukulele. Also, like, let's... I feel like we have one more week because, you know, the next time you come on here, we're going to be announcing the winner. Can we in that time come up with a better title for you than Administrator? Honestly, you can pick it yourself. Like, what would you like? Like, would you like us to call you, like, Lorde Song of the Summer? Well, that was clunky.

Well, and also Lorde is in the competition. Oh, right. Yeah. So that might actually cloud it a bit. How about Sir Song of the Summer?

How about Batiste Song of the Summer? Oh, wait. No, there's no Batiste Song. Anyway, you can choose your own title. Because I feel like Administrator doesn't quite, like, capture the magic of what you're doing.

Yeah, Administrator sounds very bureaucratic. Yeah, right. I mean, this is more of an art than a science. And it's like, again, it started with you and Alicia and, to some degree, Penny kind of sifting through all these submissions. And that's kind of, you know, some judgment calls and some of your own vibe. And then just how you're running it and everything. Yeah, Administrator just sounds like you're just, you know, you're Milton from The Office. You're just sitting in the basement with your red stapler, and that's not what you're doing. Yeah. I like to think I'm sitting sort of at like a pottery wheel, throwing and sort of molding it into – You keep sort of feeling Patrick Swayze behind you. Just a touch, though. What's the song that plays during that? Unchained Melody, I believe, is what comes on when he's sexing up – is that Whoopi Goldberg? Who is he sexing up in Ghost?

He's not sexing up Whoopi Goldberg, but she isn't – I've never seen the movie, I'll be honest with you. Well, clearly I haven't either. I assume that she was also a ghost or like a ghost talker. Is she a ghost talker?

Oh, maybe that's a movie. Look at David.

David, do you have anything to say?

I've only ever seen parodies of that scene. Yeah, me too. I've never actually seen ghosts.

Let's see. Me too. Hold on. Let's see. Ghost pottery scene. I think it's a reprise of her character from Back in the Habit, Sister Act 2.

Oh, it's Demi Moore. Of course it's Demi Moore. Oh, of course. Oh, my God.

So many people are so mad at us right now.

That's all right. You know what? We keep the phone industry in business. That's right. By just absolutely butchering top ten most famous scenes of cinema. Okay, hold on. Wow, how many commercials does a person have to watch before you can get to this scene? Here we go. So it's – oh, Demi Moore is potting. Okay. And now are we going to get to hear the – do we even get to hear the – she's putting on the song for some reason. Oh, I see. Okay, here we go. She puts a jukebox, which I guess she has a jukebox in her pottery studio. That's a great move. That actually is. I have to say, pretty convincing. You can see, Davey, that the jukebox is grabbing an oldie but a goodie.

Oh, there it is.

Tingles.

Yeah, it is. No, that's who did this, the tingles. Yep.

What are you doing? Wait, I thought he was a ghost. Oh, this is made before he dies. Wait, who's the ghost? Well, Patrick Swayze definitely doesn't seem like a ghost in this one.

He's not wearing a big white sheep.

No, but he kisses her. Is he a ghost yet? Maybe he dies later and then. Again, I have never seen the movie, but I always thought that what happens in that movie is She's doing this pottery thing, and then the ghost of him comes up and kind of caresses her, and it's obviously like a very sweet moment for her. Maybe this is like he's not dead yet. Wait, I'm confused. When does Keanu Reeves jump out of the plane after him? Right. Why is he wearing a mask? Oh, he is wearing a Nixon mask. That's another thing I didn't expect in this movie. Oh, by the way, also a Patrick Swayze film. That's why I said that. I forgot. I don't think of Point Break. That's the joke. That's the joke. I just don't think of Point Break as a Patrick Swayze movie for whatever reason. I'm so I think of it so much as a Keanu Reeves and Gary Busey vehicle. Oh, OK. We got to get to the songs. But can I just say very quickly, I watched Midnight Run last night. Oh, yeah.

You were texting me about this. I need to get on that.

I don't want to like I don't want to ruin it by like overhyping it for you, Andrew, and to some degree for you, David, and then having it. I had no expectations. I had just seen the VHS tape for many years of my life as a kid. Then I was on Netflix last night, and I have to say they got me because it was that thing where you're scrolling and it starts automatically playing a scene, and it's Joe Pantaleone, a.k.a. what was his – I forget what his name was in The Sopranos. But it's like a much younger Joe Pantaleona yelling at Robert De Niro about this. Because Robert De Niro is a bounty hunter. And he's got to bring Charles Grodin in to get a bunch of money. Oh. And so literally this one scene, I was like, and of course it was 9.30. I was like, oh, I'm going to bed. Oh, wait. Now I'm watching a three-hour movie from 1982. Anyway, I just, it was so good. 88, I believe.

And the only reason I know that is because when you told me you were watching it last night, And I was like, that sounds like what I'm always looking for on these streaming services, and I can never find it. I always want to search. They have it by, like, drama, comedy, and then, like, intense TV, and they have all these breakouts. All I want is 80s movies that you should have seen or, like, 80s movies that you can watch sort of, you know? Like, just something to have on in the background that's sort of a vibe. And, like, that seems like – and anything – I also feel like any 80s movie with the title Run in it is good, right? Like, I mean, I assume there's a lot of chasing going on in this.

Oh, yes. And it's in that kind of classic. I don't think I'm giving anything away. It's in that classic 80s style where it's just sort of keeps building on itself. It almost has like a bit of a to use another run movie, almost a cannonball run. That's what I was picturing. Because you've got, you know, De Niro is trying to get Grodin across the country before this certain deadline. And there's just like the FBI is in on. There's another bounty hunter. There's, like, all these cast of characters that just keeps getting crazier and crazier. But anyway, would recommend. I'm sure also, like, 90% of our listeners who are over the age of 20 have seen Midnight Run. But it was new to me, and I really enjoyed it. Okay. All of that being said, which songs are we talking about here, David? What was the first matchup?

So the first matchup, these are the results of round three. And the first matchup was the Jean-Baptiste song, Freedom. And that was up against the Lorde song, Solar Power. Oh, heavy hitters. They were both very heavy hitters. And the results were astounding with how unclose it was. So there were 363 total votes. And the winner with roughly 70% was Freedom by John Batiste. Whoa.

Andrew's least favorite song I don't know if it's my least favorite But I will say And this is just me But man Every one of the matchups I voted for I think during this entire contest lost I don't think I've been on the winning end of any of these Because I will say I have been voting Not illegally But just one vote I'm actually

I'm a little bit surprised Only because Well first of all When you said that About the song being kind of basic Andrew I kind of couldn't shake that. I don't think you're wrong. But then also, that Lorde song is kind of in a certain way the song of the summer. Like, I feel like Addy has referenced it to me many times, other people. Like, it's come up in conversations this summer more than any other song I can think of. And I'm not talking about, hey, I work on this podcast and we're doing a contest. I'm talking just casual, unrelated conversation where someone just brings up that song.

The Lorde song you're talking about. The Lorde song. Yeah, it's ubiquitous in a ton of TikToks, especially, like, there's one of the sort of talking parts of... Oh, Utoquitous? That sounds like a place in upstate New York. Yeah, have you been to Utoquitous?

It's a community of Quakers.

I mean, water's so blue. Water's so blue.

But there's, like, a part in Solar Power where Lorde is like, can you reach me? No. And people will use that as, like, a call and response in TikToks specifically. So it is big in TikToks. I'm honestly kind of happy that it's not going through. I don't know. I just – I don't necessarily adore this Jean-Baptiste song, but it just feels to me more, like – Summary. More musical even. You know, there's just, like, a lot more going on. Whereas for me, the Lorde song felt kind of like a, I don't know, like it was a throwaway almost a little bit.

And I want to jump in here and say, because I'm the one, like, you know, I mentioned last week or last time we were talking about this, that the Batiste song was not like one of my faves. And then I even mentioned that all of my matchups ended up losing. Now I feel like I've brought in a sort of negativity and divisiveness into this, which I really did not mean to do. So I think that for me personally, because David and I were talking a little bit when you were out of the room before Luke, before we started taping today's show. One thing that I think is is happening is I have no context for any of this stuff. Like I am only listening to these songs in the TBTL song of the summer bubble, if that makes sense to you. Like you introduced me to all of these, David, and I formed opinions on them. Whereas both of you guys, I think, have a better understanding of like, what are people talking about? what is being played. on the radio what is being you know used on tiktok so i actually think that all all me all my opinion

says is how out of the loop i am i think um speaking of john batiste can i just play something this is more like just john batiste adjacent but this is something i saw online the other day it was it's jennifer hudson on colbert and because you know she's in this new aretha franklin biopic I didn't know that. And, like, this is – I'm just kind of needle-dropping this. I've watched it already once, and I don't know if I'm jumping at the right part. But, like, she's talking to Stephen Colbert about sort of trying to retrain her voice to sing more like Aretha Franklin. She ultimately goes over and uses John Batiste's piano, which is, I guess, why I thought of this. Can I just play a little bit of this? Because I just thought this was – I just love everybody involved in this situation, like, so much.

So you're playing Aretha Franklin. You know Aretha Franklin. You've got her voice in your head. But you already have. you hear jennifer hudson saying you know that's jennifer hudson how do you differentiate how does jennifer hudson be her true self singing aretha and and what's the difference how about this in your mind what's the difference between your voices how aretha would do say natural woman

and and how you would do it okay let me see if i can explain this okay i had a dialect coach and he told me aretha sings from the top of her head and i said where i sing from he's like you sing from your feet.

I don't understand the difference between that. Okay, okay. I'm not being a singer myself, yeah.

I could probably just show you that and I could tell you. Can I show you?

Can I? Let's go. Let's go.

By the way, I low-key think that this was a setup, but I'm okay with that. I'm on the keys.

Can I play on your keys? Oh, my God. Remember, I have these nails, okay? Okay. Don't forget that part. And then, John is standing here watching me. Aretha played I Peck. Okay, let's be clear. And this is my singer right here. So to give you an example, I don't know how she played with heels on. John, don't be watching me. Okay. So Aretha was more, let me play it for you. Looking out, her approach is more On the morning rain Then Jennifer would say I used to feel so uninspired And when I knew I had to face another day

I can't believe she won American Idol I mean, honestly, I don't hear it I don't hear it at all Oh my gosh

For the day I met That's John Batiste, by the way, just jumping in.

And Colbert. Anyway, it was a super cute moment. That's cool. It also made me, like, I think that they did set right. Totally, you're right, though.

At first, it felt very set up to me, and I don't like people pretending like it's spontaneous when it's not, but yeah, that won me over.

You know, I thought that Colbert, I thought they did a really good job of making it work on Zoom when they had to, and by that I mean the things they would just shoot at Colbert's house, and it would just be him. It was like casual Steven. He didn't have a suit jacket on all the time. He's sometimes having a drink. His wife is filming it. I thought of all the shows, they did the best with that, but this is one of those things where it's like this doesn't work. this only works in the context of them all being in the same room with the instruments and everything like that it also made me definitely want to see that movie like I mean is there a more talented person than Jennifer Hudson like just across the board like I didn't even know she could play piano she's got the nails on I will say this is this is going from something beautiful to something that probably I'll regret saying but how many times

have you said that

on the show today one i everybody gets to dress and and adorn themselves however they care to a hundred percent that's everyone's choice i personally find it a little confusing when i thought of it because jennifer hudson was sort of jokingly saying i got these nails on i'm gonna try to play piano with these nails on i was getting my car washed the other day and i was going in and paying and the woman that was working at the register who was very nice by the way she had on some nails that were pretty incredibly long and what i noticed was it made it almost impossible for her to count the money because you can't grab things by your fingertips and then to try to type in the things in the cash register and it didn't mess up my life at all but i just thought i wonder how much hassle this is introducing into this person's life it just again i i know sometimes people will have long nails but they just kind of use them like they can type with them and it's just an extension of their fingers, having the...

nails that this that this person at the car wash had i just thought boy i don't know if i would do anything voluntarily that would make my you know my actual job like because her whole job is to just handle money and i watch her not be able to grab the money um the way she would if she didn't

have the nails but hey everybody can live their life maybe she's learning maybe it was her first

day my first day with those nails like she's gonna be like me this is this looks good i mean i thought

they looked cool yeah i actually have i have opinions on this because alicia loves she she will from time to time get uh really long acrylic nails and she doesn't right now because she works on a farm and that's not a thing you can really have yeah uh but when she gets them it for her she spends a lot of money on them when she has to get them and then they break really quickly easily if you are trying to sort of use them as you would your fingertips if you are typing with the nails themselves that's like a lot of stress on these little acrylic uh points and i don't know though but she she loves the way that they look she loves the way they feel it like it gives her an extra sense of i don't know sort of flair and yeah everything she does with her hands she's now looking down at her hands and her nails and it's like this cool accent piece definitely and again

i want to be really clear that i'm not trying to police how anybody adorns their body everybody gets to do whatever they want i just think i'm too lazy to uh like i'm too lazy to deal with making i'm bad enough at this job like trying to find a drop on the fly or do the levels if there

was an added barrier for me i'd be like forget you wore a suit every day and you know that was not the easiest path to take you know what i mean it's easier to throw on a shirt and a sweater

or something absolutely yeah yeah no that's a good point that definitely added work to my life because of how i thought it was coming off in the world so it was a good look i did like you more

than i mean for whatever i like you a great deal now so don't take that the wrong way i'm uh hey

david this is the first time you've been able to observe ambulance valley look there it's happening

it's all happening oh yeah it's really happening i was wondering if you had just snuck onto one of those i was going to say before like could you have just snuck onto one of those and then gotten

a free covid test somewhere else like well like i said the place where they fix the ambulances is right right across the street i could just wander in and go please uh sir my my covid he very sick okay so john batiste is moving on and john batiste will now be battling whichever song is going to emerge from this other bracket and those songs were were which songs david uh they were uh be

sweet by japanese breakfast and uh kiss me more by doja cat featuring sisa yeah and this was the super close one so the first one there was kind of a landslide this one was literally three votes it got 309 total votes and three votes separated the winner and the loser whoa um and you want to

make a prediction luke well i think i mean this is an interesting one to me because you have you You know, this Doja Cat SZA song is just a probably international hit. It's just, I mean, I'm sure it is like in the early days of this, you know, of whatever we call this, this competition, this summery thing, we would always use this kind of metric of is it a song that you would pull up on a sunny day if someone had the top down on their convertible and you'd hear it playing out of their car? Or you go to a barbecue and you just hear it. Like, is this a song that has kind of just permeated the summer? And I would say the Doja Cat song is more that. But I think our listeners more probably vibe with Japanese Breakfast and with Michelle Zahner as maybe a person who's in the world just because – I mean, it's nothing against Doja Cat and SZA. They're just like – they're pop stars on a level that's unattainable, whereas Michelle Zahner, a.k.a. Japanese Breakfast, feels somehow more, I don't know, in the vibe, I think, of this show, a little bit more down-to-earth, a little bit more relatable. Fair. So therefore, I think Japanese Breakfast wins. That's my guess. Interesting. Even though it's a much less well-known – you'd be less likely to hear B-Sweet to me pumping out of someone's car, but I still think that's the one that's going to win.

Gotcha.

All righty. Well, the winner with 50.5% of the votes was B-Sweet by Japanese Breakfast.

You left me behind, and I'm turned back, running for you. There you go. Yeah, you know what? Yeah. I checked the results a couple of days ago, and I think Doja Cat was close. I didn't look at how close it was, but Doja Cat was definitely in the lead. So there was some surge in the past couple of days that put Japanese breakfast over the top by just three votes.

Three votes.

That's awesome.

That's a real comeback victory for Japanese Breakfast.

Yeah, so what do we think of this final matchup? You know, I'm a little embarrassed because, David, you and Anai were having a conversation.

Anai is our new intern.

I think I was confusing this song with a different song. Is this the song with the video where they're running around with flashlights pretending that they're in an episode of The X-Files?

Yes. Okay, gotcha.

I think I was confusing this song. song with a different song. Anyway, I definitely like this song. I'm happy with this final matchup. I don't know who I'm going to

I don't know who I'm going to vote for in this final round. I like this matchup as well because for us to pick what is just, I mean this is literally the conversation we have every time we do this at this point in the thing is for us to just pick or for the listeners more accurately to just pick the literal most popular song in America is not as interesting as Musica Conchalada or Swimming Pool Blues. By the way, Swimming Pool Blues has been popping back up on some of my jogging playlists. And I'm like, this is exactly what I need right now to climb up this little slight hill of the Tillicum Bridge or whatever. Have you noticed, Davey, that the folks on... So I've now started my loop. It involves the Tillicum Bridge as well. And you know, for a while when I was running across the Hawthorne and I would always run into that one guy who wouldn't get over for me. The Hawthorne The Hawthorne seems like it's more of a commuter bridge It's more people are trying to get from the east side Of the river to the west side And some people are exercising But a lot of people are just literally trying to get To where they're going The Tilikum is almost only people that are exercising Cycling, running, or briskly walking And I have noticed That every time I do the Tilikum Everyone is falling all over themselves To get out of everyone else's way It's like I've never had One issue on that bridge In fact, it's like I feel like I'm the jerk because I'm running and I look up and I realize like four people have already shifted to give me room. And I'm like, oh, thank you so much. There's also just a lot more room.

And so like you share it with the bicyclists and stuff. But it's like it's it's it's made specifically for people walking and, you know, and jogging.

I bet you that's part of it, too, because the Morrison or excuse me, the Hawthorne is cars drive on it. It's a bridge for cars and a little bit cooler looking bridge.

Definitely. Don't you think? You think that Tilla comes more? Yeah, dude.

It's all like it looks like something that would be in New Zealand or Australia.

It's like, I guess it looks a little modern to me, whereas I feel like the Hawthorne is kind of a cooler, more rusted looking. Welcome to Bridges.

I am a liberal conservative dialogue with Luke and David.

I am so glad the conversation came to Bridges because I have been having a bridge related thought that I've been wanting to share with someone. And this is the result of me hearing two different conversations on two different shows One, a local sports radio show Another, my favorite political podcast from Slate And the first conversation was they just erected a statue of who's the famous Mariner who just got a statue Edgar Martinez By the way, I think that statue looks like shit They always do Go ahead, sorry, no, go ahead No, no, this is your topic, I apologize No, but, I mean, that kind of came up, and I was listening to one of the local shows, and they were saying, would you rather have a statue made out of you, a – or, you know, not made out of you. Would you rather have a statue of you made somewhere, have a street named after you, or have, I believe, maybe a building named after you? And somebody said, well, the statues never end up – or often don't end up looking very good, so let's not do the statue thing. And then I was sort of thinking about it, and you know me. I'm not a big legacy person, so I don't crave any of these things generally. But I was thinking, eh, I guess I would take a road named after me. That seems like kind of – that seems humble enough but useful. Then I'm listening to this other podcast, and I don't know how this came up, but somebody was talking about having bridges named after people. And I thought that is – if I could choose, I would choose to have a bridge named after me because it's symbolic. You're bridging. You're helping people get over something that otherwise would be impassable. You're potentially bridging communities I love the idea So anyway, let's name a bridge after me Is my point

Will do I mean, we're about to At some point You can see this, Davey, from here They're gonna finally do this Earl Blumenauer bridge That is, like, the first show I did From this apartment I was like, I think they're doing this this weekend And here we are And haven't done any of it But, yeah, I think a bridge is cool The thing, the problem with a road Is that usually Unless you're talking about, like Five streets in America That are so iconic and beloved That they're only brought up as a positive Usually a street will be like, oh man Were you on Burbank Way? It was jammed They're doing construction on Burbank Way And this is just an S show

Like

It seems rare that it's brought up as a sort of something that people are feeling positively towards. Right. And those statues, yeah, those statues, it must be very hard to make a statue out of metal that looks like the person. Because when I saw that Edgar Martino statue, I was like, I can't believe this was the best thing. And, of course, remember years ago, I think it was in like – The Lucille Ball one. The Lucille Ball one. I forget where that was. I feel like that might have been in Michigan, in like Centurion, Michigan or something. But yeah, just like those things are really hard to pull off.

Yes.

And the Edgar one, he's so veiny. Yeah.

I know.

Yeah. You know classic. Classic Edgar Martinez, the Vein Monster. That's what we called him. Well, of course, you know me. It's like I wanted him to be in the commercial for Eagle Hardware, which was the predecessor to Lowe, where he's making a lamp out of a baseball bat and he goes, it's a light bat. Yes. I just wanted to be him holding that lamp but there was like no constituency for that decision. I've never even seen

that commercial but you've said that so many times that that will become like an earworm in my own head sometimes when I hear the word light. I will hear you saying that in that exact voice

Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female Oh man, it's not from a female

Alright Got an email or

v-mail before we get out of here yeah you know i really thought you were right about that statue being in michigan of lucille ball but it was actually in new york state in her hometown of

celeron celeron celeron yeah why did criterion correct criterion collection is that what was in my brain i know it was a c and it sounded vaguely like from rome or something like a roman

guard but i was i thought it was before you said michigan i was gonna say wisconsin but anyway Neither here nor there

Well we've saved hopefully a couple of emails That's why it is kind of important

But we need emails Here is a voicemail from listener Kristen this was inspired by Hold on I pulled this voicemail a while back I think she sets it up Oh Luke you were talking about Taking your clothes to get Cleaned somewhere

I still haven't gotten that jacket Back

I actually need to go We have to stop the show.

I'm going to have to end the show because I thought about this today on my jog. I was like – because the problem is the window of time it's open is typically when we're doing this. I have a Thrive meeting in like an hour. So if we can wrap this up, I can run down there and see if I can get my jacket back because that thing wasn't that cheap.

Nice. Okay. Here's the deal. This is a minute and a half of voicemail. Then we can get out of here. Take a listen. This is from Kristen.

Hey, dummies. It's Kristen in Kansas City calling, checking in. But I was just listening to Luke's story about the dry cleaner being closed when he went to get his blazer back. And it reminded me of this crazy thing that happened to my boyfriend. He was trying to sell his car, and he wanted to get it detailed and get some things removed first. So he took it to this place, and he kept trying to call to find out if it was ready, and there was no answer. So finally, we drove all the way back there, and there was a sign on the door saying that the business had been seized by the state for not paying their taxes. And we walked around the whole lot, and my boyfriend's car was not there at all. And we ended up having to work with a tax collector at the state to get the car back. But the owner of the business kept calling and telling us that it was just a clerical error that would all be straightened out soon. And, of course, he paid his taxes, yada, yada. Anyway, the car had not been detailed or the things had not been removed. Nothing had been done, and the business had been seized. So that was quite an experience. All right. Power out.

How about that for some perspective? How about that?

How about that? That makes me feel way less bad about my little blazer. Although it would be ironic if her boyfriend's car was also a blazer. Oh, yeah. It was like a Chevy blazer. Yeah. But if I've learned one thing from watching every episode of American Greed on CNBC like twice now, It's that I promise you it's not a clerical error Because this is what every single So every scammer on that show There's always this point where it's like Every credit card is being declined And the rent's not getting paid And their employees aren't getting paid And it's all falling apart And it's always just supposed to be It's always described as Oh the bank is just being weird about transferring the money Etc

I promise you, it's never that. The banks just being weird. Right, exactly. Like, there was a woman, her name I think is, like, Cara Delvene. I think she was from Michigan, Criterion, Michigan. No, there's this woman who became quite famous for sort of pretending to be a New York socialite. This was fairly recently. And just staying in these lavish hotels, like, living in these hotels for months at a time and taking these incredible vacations and trips and never paying for any of it. And it was always because the bank in Europe was having trouble transferring the money. And, of course, she was like this just trail of financial destruction that she left. And, by the way, Cara Delvene is this, like, very famous model. This person has a different name. Sorry. This is what I get for trying to flex with remembering things on the fly. Anyway, this person who was a scammer, it was just always issues with the banks talking to each other. And, of course, it never was. Except if I tell you guys that I need a little money because my problem is the banks aren't talking to each other. That's legit. I just need to borrow a little bit of money from you guys.

And I didn't mean to – David, while I have you on the line, we can talk about this off the show, of course. But I have a bunch of money that is earmarked for you, and I need to get that to you. But if you could – I need you to give me like $50 so that I can get you the money. So you can access it.

I think it's some inheritance thing that happened overseas.

Anna Sorokin.

It's weird. That happens so often to me. I know. I'm still waiting on a lot of the transfers. I imagine it's just the banks. Can I do this?

We need a little cash from you and some personal information. We'll get it offline.

Can I do this to just try to reclaim the last tiny shred of my dignity? So the woman's real name, this person I was talking about, her real name is Anna Sorokin, but she went by Anna Delvey. Anna Delvey, which is nothing like Cara Delvene or whatever you say. I can see how you ended up there, though, an A-based, bisyllabic first name. Thanks for trying. Thank you for playing. You know what? Pray with me. Don't play with me. I'm trying to make that a new thing, I say. Really? That they'll come off as casual. Yeah, I saw this guy on TikTok just saying all these great lines. It was like saying, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, but if you slide me some grease, I'll slide you a piece. And pray with me, don't play with me. I like that. That's my new favorite. If somebody is agitating me, I just want to say to somebody with a straight face in a critical situation, pray with me, don't play with me. It's going to be my new catchphrase. I love it, yeah. Hey, everybody. Don't forget.

Go to tbtail.net slash songofthesummer. You can now vote on the final two songs. How much time should we give the people? It's already August 17th. You want to crown a winner next week, my boys? That's soon. Okay, two weeks?

I feel like end of August, early September. I just know growing up in the Northwest that it was like September was still kind of summer. You get like two weeks of summer. Okay. But I don't know. I mean, what do you think, Davey? Yeah, sounds great to me. Either way, as long as I'm checking them with you guys.

Look, two weeks from today is the 31st. That would be the final day of August. Want to do that? That's perfect.

I'm going to assemble it on the calendar.

All right, everybody, tbtl.net slash songofthesummer, or you can find the link bopping around social media. You can vote there. And, you know, things are getting hot. Things are getting spicy. Spicy, yes. Luke better stop eating the habaneros.

Yes. I think is how that drop ends. Oh, that screen grab worked out perfectly, by the way. Oh, good. You actually got it.

Perfectly in the way where you guys look good and the peppers look good. But I look like a man trying to figure out how to take a screenshot. I forgot that I'm in it. And I look. Do you want to do it again?

No, no. I actually think it's hilarious. I look like a grandpa trying to figure out a screenshot.

Holding an iPad up to the computer.

Right. Exactly. Okay.

So I think the idea is we were going to go out with this John Prine and Nancy Griffith song, I mean it's a John Prine song and they were just kind of doing it as a duet Nancy Griffith passed away sadly and we played her cover of, or her version I should say of From a Distance yesterday but this is just a song that I love The Speed of the Sound of Loneliness, so yeah, can we go out with

that today? Yeah, that sounds good, so just for the record this link you sent me Luke is from a British show called Town and Country recorded back in 1990 Ooh la la, alright thanks for listening

everybody, thanks Davey, love you brother Absolutely. Anytime. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for hanging out, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. Until then, have a great Tuesday. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

you come home late and you come home early

you come on You come on big and when you're feeling small You come home straight and you come home curly Sometimes you don't come home at all So when the world's come over you What in heaven's name have you done? You've broken the speed of the sound of loneliness You're out there running just to be on the run Well, I got a heart that burns with a fever And I got a worried and a jealous man How can a love that'll last forever Get left so far behind When the world's come over you What in heaven's name have you done

I got a pretty good vibe from that doctor Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good. Power out.