Muse

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Hey, hey, how about that weather out there? Whoa, that was the caller from hell. Well, hot dog, we have a wiener. Man, that thing's great. Don't praise the machine. Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns. How's he keep up with the news like that? T-B-T-L

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Well, thank God we built you. What a blessing for the community. You know, this is beginning to seriously undermine my self-esteem.

There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth.

Listen, Cracker Jack, if you're going to be televised, you've got to be easy on the eyes. It's no good if people hate looking at you. You need a suit, a tie, and some brill cream. Let's get to the jokes.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

You ever want to rap or anything, you know, just talk or just, you know, get weird with somebody. You know, buddies for life, I think

My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host I'm a professional, look it up in the book Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center high in the sky Above Portland, Oregon Where A very unprofessional broadcast Move a minute ago Today's show, Tuesday's edition Of the program is actually being recorded On a Monday Because of some Television responsibilities I'm going to have tomorrow In California or today as you're hearing this. And so I was a mite peckish. I was a little hungry after recording Monday Morning's episode. And I thought, oh, I just need to grab a quick snack.

Never do anything out of hunger.

Because I've started eating again in the daytime, which is honestly like one of the major improvements to my life. We could actually get into this at some point. I thought really the way for me to try to stay at a weight that I wanted to be at was to like never do anything out of hunger even eating then i just would have way more calories between the hours of 6 p.m and 1 a.m than i needed uh but so now i'm eating lunch and that's good well today for lunch it was four giant scoops of peanut butter which is the stickiest substance one could eat before one is supposed to be talking into a microphone for an hour or so. Now I know how Mr. Ed felt. I think the story on that was that was how they would get just another very timely television reference coming at you on TVTL. I think that's how they got the horse who played Mr. Ed to look kind of like he was talking. Put peanut butter in there or something. Anyway. The good news is me describing what a bad idea that was has mostly cleared that out and now I am ready to go with episode 3495 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. There was a show on Netflix that had me real hyped

on Sunday night. If God wanted us to listen to audiobooks, she wouldn't have given us eyes to watch TV.

The malice at the palace about this big brawl that happened in Detroit back in, I want to say 2017? 14? No, happy 14. Anyway, I want to talk about that and then on the subject of netflix i gotta get out of here and watch movies i have 211 movies in my netflix queue i'm gonna die with a hundred movies in my queue uh netflix has really upped their game on the click-baity nature of the tiles that you see uh for movies so when you're scrolling around on netflix and it's very interesting how they're presenting movies differently to different people based on their watching habits and other perceived thoughts about the person who's looking at the movie trailer uh so we will uh dig into that and then time permitting a major u.s hotel chain has announced that they are going to charge a fee if you would like to use the swimming pool sounds expensive at their hotel where you are renting a room uh so we'll uh we'll talk about that as well we'll do all that with the help of this guy longest running cobro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships not only is he is he not eating peanut butter right before the show he's brushing his teeth i'll say i'll say what's up dog going in really opposite directions today getting ready for this episode he is andrew walsh and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt Nation.

neighborhood of seattle washington good morning my friend good morning luke you know um the fact that i was brushing my teeth is because i was doing something kind of similar to you i had a little snack break myself i didn't go with peanut butter but i went with hummus i went with pita bread and hummus just sort of housed a few bites of that but here's the deal do you know that i'm living in a house divided now when it comes to hummus we like to always have hummus in the house I eat more hummus than Genevieve, but we both enjoy it. And traditionally, we're a Sabra family. I believe a lot of modern hummus-eating families are Sabra families.

Yeah, that seems like it's kind of the big—that's probably seemingly the largest national brand.

Yeah, I would guess, and I enjoy it, and they have a lot of different flavors. Plain is always fine. Classic, I guess they call it. They don't call anything plain when you're marketing something. Often we would go with, like, roasted pine nut or roasted red pepper. Those are pretty innocuous. You stopped naming nuts. I know. But then the other day, oh, sometimes we grab the garlic stuff, too, although it's already pretty garlicky. The other day, when I say the other day, I mean, I don't know, several months ago, I saw they had something called lemon twist. So it's hummus with a lemon twist. And I really liked it. But Genevieve did not. And so now we're kind of a two hummus family. And it's kind of weird because like if I just bring a couple of dinks, I know, right? Because if I bring home the lemon, then Genevieve doesn't want it. But it's like but I eat probably about four times as much hummus as she does. I mean, not to brag, but, you know, if you were to map it out. So then I'm in this position of like, well, I can get one that we both like, but I'm also missing out on my lemon twist when when I'm eating most of it myself. So now we have two in there and then she went and got something weird the other day, Luke. It's spinach and artichoke. I'll be honest. I'm like a 10-year-old with that one, really. I haven't even tried it. I'm staying away from it. It doesn't look very good to me. It looks slimy. What you actually are now is you're a couple of deaths. Double income, two hummuses. You're right.

You're basically like... I'm a death lord. You're like Julia Louis-Dreyfus and whoever plays her partner on Christmas Vacation. Just looking scornfully at Chevy Chase and his family obligations because of your chosen lifestyle of being dual income, two hummuses, and fancy stereo system and the like. But secretly you're unhappy.

I didn't remember that she was in that movie, Julia Louise Dreyfuss. Oh, yeah.

No kidding. Yeah. Yeah, they're the neighbors who are like – they're like total yuppies, I guess you would call them. And they – the whole kind of dynamic that's presented is they have everything on paper. They have, like, the fancy in-style furniture in their house and they drive a Saab and they're beautiful people who are exercising all the time. And their life is always being comically destroyed by Chevy Chase.

This would have been pre-Seinfeld? No, Seinfeld – this is Christmas vacation, right? Christmas vacation. So this is concurrent maybe with Seinfeld? Great question.

The internet would probably know. I don't actually know the timing on that. But, yeah, that's basically you and Genevieve Ray hummus. I've got a hot take. Are you ready for a hot take on this Tuesday edition of the show? Is it hummus related or are we moving on? It is. Yeah, great.

I'm definitely ready for it then.

I think hummus is super overrated. Really? Well, here's the problem for me. One, the garlic factor. Oh, yeah. Very garlic. You're very sensitive to garlic. I am just nervous about having rocking breath all day. That's why I brush my teeth. Well, yeah. That's still kind of coming down the line. But you put a dent in it. Oh, you. I, I, I, maybe if I, well, here's the thing. There are other things that are equally garlicky that I enjoy more than hummus. That if I'm going to go ahead and roll the dice on having dragon breath the entire day, I would like to get more bang for my buck personally than I'm getting from most hummus. That being said, I just ordered a hummus plate at a restaurant at this place, Ron Tom, near me. Becca and I went and got some dinner, and it was one of the, you know, non-meat items on the menu. I got – and I had some of the hummus. It's not like I'm not anti-hummus, but I never buy hummus and keep it in the house. Like I'd rather have guacamole. When you mentioned that spinach and artichoke, I'd love a good, like, artichoke dip, which is just basically a big pile of cheese and cream and stuff. Oh, yeah.

You know what the difference is? I don't eat dips. And if we're putting these in the same category, I guess hummus is one of the rare kind of dippy kind of things I eat because I won't eat any kind of, you know, creamy stuff or ranch dip or any of that stuff that people dip stuff in.

Right. But the you're right. Hummus is something that you can you can put on pita bread or whatever, but it's not like.

cheese based thing which it would explain exactly why you like it okay and i and i kind of it's not my favorite because i like things that are cheesy and delicious um that kids go crazy for can i

take a just a small twist like let's take a lemon twist on a lemon twist but don't but i also have some thoughts on pita so let's keep it close okay cool this is still very close because now what i was dipping we always keep pita in in our cupboard as well and often like i also like I'm stuttering I'm so excited about this snack conversation I like to keep Turkey from the deli In the fridge the kind that they actually slice For you I also like to keep salami In the fridge I know that you don't eat meat But this is me talking here And so sometimes a late night snack For me might be a little slice of turkey A little salami On a little pita that I then Smear with hummus love it It's good I didn't do that today One thing I was going to say though a little twist on this conversation those i have another snack thing that could be really good with hummus which is pretzel crisps luke have you seen these in the store they're like just the outside of a pretzel without all the pretzel filling and they're like a flat little cracker it's so salty it's so good yes well it's

my theory you know my restaurant that i'll never open but i like to threaten the edge open edge yeah that's just the edges of everything because that's always the crispiest bite it's always the best truthfully like i don't like those you're you eat more pretzels than i do but like i'm okay with a like a rolled gold stick me too a rod that would yeah but not like sometimes there'll be these ones that are like very thick like you know i'm talking about like oversized and it's like you buy a pack of maybe like five of them or eight of them or something a rod oh oh oh are you super

thick you're talking about the kinds that are like they kind of are like a cigar exactly they're long Okay, because when you say you like a stick, you like the little tiny ones that are about the size of a matchstick or something. Yes. Oh, I see. Yeah, no, I like – okay, yeah. I like the rods.

And what I don't like about those giant cigar-shaped ones is too much of it is not the edge. It's all the inside of the pretzel, which is the least interesting part of the pretzel. So, yeah, the idea of a pretzel chip is sort of appealing to me. But, yeah, I do think it's interesting that you even – well, I mean, you know, Vives is possibly there. I don't know who's home and who's not home at this moment. But interesting that you would brush your teeth after reading something garlicky, even when it's pretty much just going to be you in that room. I am sort of the same way, but I think that that's like a little extra of me.

You know, I'm not obsessed with my breath or thinking about my breath as much as you are. I hope you don't mind me saying obsessed. But it is something that you – it comes up a lot, and it's something – I think that's a good trait.

It takes up a decent amount of brain space for me, probably too much.

Whereas I don't think about that. I hope I don't have bad breath usually, but every now and then, you know, I was just sitting here working. I had just, like I said, kind of wharfed down a couple of scoops of hummus, and so I was sitting here, and the garlic was hitting me, and I was like, ooh. And then I was like, ooh, I don't think I brushed my teeth right away when I woke up this morning. So that was my first brushing of the day, and it's like 1130 already.

I think I can trace where all of my overthinking regarding breath came from many, many years ago. I'm talking, well, 15 or more years ago, I had been playing poker at the Hollywood Park Casino in Inglewood for, I want to say it might have been like a 24-hour period with Mike Peska. We were there. We had gotten there the night before. We had started playing, and we had just not stopped. And it was now many hours later. I probably had many a beer or whatever. And now it was morning time. I'm going to say it was like kind of seven or eight in the morning. Is that real? I hope our listeners don't know about this stuff from personal experience. But that feeling of when you've really just made some poor decisions and now the sun is rising and the normal people, the people who actually make good decisions are now just beginning their day and your day is just starting to wind down. And I don't know why that. I mean, thankfully, I don't do that a lot. But the few times when that happens to me – actually, the Peska example was not even the worst because it was just me and Peska hanging out. I've had other times where it's been like 9 – it's like 10 in the morning and I haven't been to sleep and I just see people playing volleyball. It's like a Saturday. And I'm just like, how do I get on that side of this Grand Canyon that is called my decision-making? Because I just feel emotionally cratered right now. And those people are just starting a volleyball game in a park. But anyway, I was chatting with Peska about something. We're sitting at the poker table next to each other And he just reaches into his pocket He pulls out a stick of gum He unwraps it And he slowly places it in my mouth

Oh my god That's so condescending Oh no

I mean I don't I I I love Mike And I I don't hold that against him But I think something broke inside of me in that moment And I think Yeah I think for the rest of my life, I'm worried about I'm worried about needing that like to happen and not being aware. And so I am overly cautious about my breath situation.

But I mean, he probably did you a favor in the moment and for the rest of your life, because why not? I mean, I don't think that like I don't think that it's like a problem for you. It doesn't seem like it's making you, you know, this this again, I'm using the word obsession, but maybe that's not fair. But your focus on clean breath and good oral hygiene is not a bad thing. So, you know, that's good.

It has created. This is the issue it's created. And I only recently realized this, Andrew, and this is really sad, honestly. Well, maybe it's not sad, but it's not a great character reference for me. I chew a lot of gum, see previous comments. But when you chew a lot of gum, you also find that there are a lot of times when you have gum you need to get rid of. Chew gum. And what do you do with that?

Well, sometimes I find it on show sheets when we're traveling together.

Yeah, exactly. And I think it's because I've been spending more time hanging out with Becca. So she's observed me and this gum habit. And I think I was having an overly casual relationship with where I was throwing my used gum. Kind of like I would never just throw a chewed up piece of gum onto the sidewalk. That would seem like completely rude of me. But if I'm walking into the bank So I pull up And the bank has like landscaping So there's like maybe some kind of You know center area It's got some trees planted And grass or whatever Or big bushes or whatever It would not be crazy Or not be unusual for me To like take the gum That I've been chewing As I've been driving over And then I kind of like Wad it up in a ball And I kind of wing it Into the foliage And you don't spit it directly huh? No I don't think that's my move But I think that there's Maybe a defense of it being in some thick foliage that like literally no one will ever go inside there yeah i think but you start doing that and then it's like well where do you draw the line do you throw it in a like a raised planter bed that's like cement outside of a some other business and then what about the person who has to come along and garden that if it's got plants growing in it and then like i just realized i think i have been kind of casually making the world a worse place with my gum tossing and so i had made a i dedicated myself to not doing that anymore that's interesting you know

We have a voicemail that we're going to play later on near the end of the show all about this kind of obsession I have with preventing people or trying to prevent people or griping when people discard their bagged dog poop in my empty garbage bag or I should say garbage bin after the garbage collectors have emptied it. but it's still out on the street. And I'm worried that I'm going to get into some hypocrite territory here during this conversation because the types of areas that you're describing to spit one's gum, that seems acceptable to me. And maybe I'm in the wrong here too, and I should examine this. But listen, there are the types of green spaces, for lack of a better word, where it's clear somebody is going in there and maintaining them and maybe weeding them or watering them or planting flowers once a year or something. But then there are those corporate spaces that you described that it's very clear. Like what it is is ground cover that you put there once and nobody is messing with it. It's literally just greenery ground cover that you planted and it takes over the area and nobody is messing with it. I'm not saying it's okay to litter in there and throw your – see, maybe I'm just wrong on this as I talk it through. But, like, if I were to see somebody throwing their McDonald's cup in there, I'd be like, what the hell are you doing? Even if the foliage absorbs it all and you don't see it, that's still littering. But for some reason, gum for me, I'm just like, your little tiny bit of gum is going to go there. And literally nobody will be in there in the next 20 years or so. I feel like you're fine.

Yeah, except I guess it's like if everybody did that. Yeah, that's true. You might run into a problem. The other problem is the slippery slope for me because, like, right now I'm looking out my building and I'm looking at one of those little areas that I've described before that is, like, it's just cement and then there's a little opening where a tree is growing and there's a little, like, two foot by two foot square of dirt. Now, that is dirt and I get mad because people, like, have their dogs go to the bathroom on that and then they don't clean it up. And it's like, did I tell you that there was dog poop in the mail room where the Amazon boxes get delivered in my apartment? And I stepped in it. Oh, you don't mean that somebody threw it in a wastebasket in there. It was. No. Oh, God. It was unregulated, undealt with dog poop. Like two little, you know, just little turds out there. No. Yeah. No. And I walked in. I refuse. And I did not.

see it what i felt was as i was going over to this thing where you scan in a qr code i felt my foot slip and i thought well that's odd and i turned around and it was dog poop andrew no no no you need to tell management about that well i i was tempted to but i thought what are they going to do if they can put out an email that's like don't let your dog shit in the mail room i think i feel

like that should be kind of put out another cute little sign well i mean listen i mean if this problem persists like if if if that was an isolated well i don't know i'm just going total tattletale on this now but like it's not tattling if you don't know who did it but like if it becomes a pattern where people are letting their dogs poo all over the place in your building then it is going to become i guess maybe if it happens again you should let them know because or if you see it again because like if it's going to become a problem then they are going to have to start enforcing something like they're going to have to put eyes on that i mean maybe it leads to a no dog policy although that would be a huge policy for the people already living there so i guess that's out of the that's out of the question which is good i like dogs i don't want to know dog policy

but you can't let your dog shit in the mail room jesus well the other night i got in the elevator and well i should say the elevator opened there's three elevators and one of them opened and it just had a you know a substantial like a water bottles worth of dog pee in the elevator with one of those cones that has a picture of like you know hey use caution this floor is being cleaned but no one had cleaned it it wasn't like uh and again i don't really i feel bad for the custodial staff they shouldn't have to deal with someone's dog urine that seems like beyond the pale but what had happened was someone's dog had peed everywhere in the elevator and i mean it was pungent for whatever reason like sometimes that can be not so bad this was i don't know how much asparagus this dog was eating but it was it was substantial and did not smell good like it kind of was a little eye-watering when you got in there and i was like for a second i was like i'll just take the elevator i was like no i am going to get out and wait for one that doesn't have this going on but clearly what happened to somebody's dog had peed that person had just abandoned ship they just left it there then someone from the overnight custodial staff or management staff had seen it they didn't really want to deal with it either so they just put in like a you know a cone letting you know there's something going on in there and then the next day i happened to get in the same elevator it obviously had been cleaned up and the place smelled like um And, you know, Dexter had been there like it was the bleach smell was intense, like somebody just hosed the whole thing down with bleach.

So, you know, can I give just a little bit of the benefit of the doubt of of the custodial staff in this particular case? You said that they didn't want to deal with it. So they put the cone down. I mean, there's a chance and I think it's probably pretty likely that they might have said, OK, to deal with this, we have certain protocols. Like, if you're dealing with actual, like, you know, bodily liquids, no matter what the body is, that they had to say, OK, listen, we have to go get this piece of equipment or this these materials or this like whatever kind of cleaning solution or whatever. In the meantime, I'm going to put this here as a warning. But then, like, somebody might have been actively dealing with it, but just couldn't be in two places at the same time in that case.

Totally possible. It was also like 1130 at night. Yeah. So I kind of took it to be the custodial staff isn't there at 1130 at night. and there's like an overnight security person and they were like, oh, hell no. They're like, I'm not getting paid enough to deal with this. That's my guess. But my point is, this is all caught on camera because we have tons of cameras in this building like any modern place. But how do you figure out which dog did it? So like of the people that went into the Amazon slash mailroom that day with dogs, how do you figure out? What they really need to do is if you want to live in this building and have a dog, You need to submit a swab of your dog's DNA. Yes.

Yes, I like this.

And we'll just have a database. On yesterday's show, I'm being like, they're tracking us too much with these phones. We just need a database for all the dogs. And then if there's massive amounts of dog pee or dog poop inside the building that's undealt with, we're just going to run it. And if it's your dog, you're out. We evict you.

It's like a real Agatha Pisty mystery here. Oh, sorry. You would love to hear it. That was gross and not even that funny. But I was going to say, you know, there are I remember talking about this way. This is a story that we just chatted about way back on the Ross and Burbank days. Like there are homeowners associations that do take the DNA. Like when you move in, it's like, OK, we need the DNA of all the pets. Like I'm I'm not against that. Like that might seem like encroachment and maybe people who have dogs might think that that is a violation. But I'm telling you, if I had a dog, I would not have a problem with that because I would clean up after my dog. Right. I wouldn't throw in other people's garbage cans either.

And I honestly think that people wouldn't have to – it would fix itself because just the knowledge that they could have an ability to track whose dog it was is going to mean everyone's going to take better care of when their dog goes to the bathroom. Yeah, I agree. Like I doubt you would ever even have to actually do it. But just the threat of it would be something. Speaking of which, and we should get to the break here, but you've mentioned this now in passing a couple of times. Are you dealing with a situation currently in your garbage can? Because, again, we are recording this on a Monday. It's a Tuesday edition of the program being recorded on a Monday, which is a gomy day for you. It's garbage day. Is everything all right?

I mean, it's generally OK. There was a time not all that long ago when they emptied all three of my bins before TBTL started at 9 a.m. or before I started recording with you at 9 a.m. They seem to have They've changed the schedule for the black Garbage bin, the one that is just like Landfill waste or whatever And that is the last Bin to be emptied Lately, sometimes not until like One or two in the afternoon And so it was easier when it Was picked up in the morning because I would go Out right away, bring all three in And there was a smaller chance of somebody Leaving their dog poop in there, but it's a little bit Harder to get out there and get that bin rolled back behind the gate um later in the day because you don't know exactly when they're coming and then when you're out there often it's empty except for one or two people's dog shit bags in there which i don't which i don't like and you know again like we'll talk about it more later and there's an argument i know i'm trying to be more relaxed about that kind of stuff but i'm still generally against it uh people doing that um to my garbage can which i pay for the service to have emptied um but anyway so right now as we speak um like i say that bin is at the curb i'm waiting for somebody to empty it it could be emptied by now and it could already be collecting people's dog poo i don't know last week i definitely did have to live with somebody's dog

poo so for you the perfect obviously the best case scenario is it's all handled before 9 a.m so you can get it all back inside safe and sound or back behind the gate safe and sound you know what the perfect scenario is luke and i've thought a lot about this is people not throwing their dog poop

bag into your garbage can the perfect scenario is these bins have some sort of automatic locking device that i as the bin owners can unlock to put garbage in there and then you know how they empty these bins these days they don't put hands on them themselves they have these robot arms that come out they could have like the the machines could have a way of automatically unlocking all of them like You know, when it turns over and they're emptying it into the truck and it makes that banging sound, there could be some device that makes it unlock so that people on the street cannot use my garbage bins. That's something that I fantasize about a lot because I'm an adult.

When you're trying to fall asleep, you lie in bed designing this. Oh, my God. Beautiful mind style. Or like Tom Cruise in Minority Report. You're just like standing, moving images around that are floating in midair, thinking about how to make this all work. Do you know that he does all his own hand-waving?

It's true.

I think he drove a – I saw a weird headline on like the BBC today that was like, train drives off – it said Mission Impossible colon train drives off cliff. And I thought, well, either this is from the movie Mission Impossible or a conductor decided to try to do an impossible mission and drive a train off a cliff. I didn't obviously care enough to click on it, but I thought this is either just something from a movie or a horrific event.

What if that's just what they're naming the movies now? They're just so exhaustive. It's like Mission Impossible 17 colon train drives off cliff. Yeah, people will come see that.

I have to admit, though, I hate to say it. It was kind of cool. I went to that last one where he learned how to fly helicopters for it. I forget which one that was, which Impossible Mission it was on, but man, I saw that movie by myself in a theater in Bellingham, and I was into it. You know what this is?

It's a train that was used in Mission Impossible 7. It's a quarry train. It crashed, and it stunned onlookers. But it was a stunt. It looks like it was a stunt for the film. I'm reading this on the fly here. The unfortunate side effect is that it makes most movies look like they were shot on high-speed video rather than film.

Do you have a minute for me to talk to you about video interpolation, Andrew?

I certainly do. This happened in Derbyshire, and it was a spectacular Hollywood stunt involving Tom Cruise and a train crashing, but there were locals who were stunned by it, Luke. Stunned.

I see. Okay. So he's gone back to making movies, and he stopped berating the staff for not following COVID protocols carefully enough, because that was what he was mostly focusing on. Yeah, I kind of liked that. You know what's funny? I brought this up with Camaro Kev and J.D. over the weekend, and I think we all agreed he's not wrong. No. Like, I think there's a better way to do it, probably. I don't think publicly humiliating people in front of a group when you're Tom Cruise is the way to get the message across. I have a theory. But I don't think his general sentiment was wrong.

I have a theory that he knew it was going to be public, and it was less of a message to those on the set and more of a message to the people.

people back in hollywood remember he kept referring to the people back in hollywood who are have their jobs on the line and they're they're letting us do this it seemed to me like he was more like he was kind of um he i don't know what the word is kind of projecting to to the people maybe the money people and the people who maybe he had to talk into letting him shoot during the midst of the the worst part of the pandemic trying to uh he wanted them to know that he was taking it very seriously well it worked i think that that was a mission impossible movie it's probably still the same one yeah probably i'm guessing yeah is this the one where are they supposed to shoot a scene literally in space that was the plan before the pandemic i don't know i guess i mean it seems like covid shouldn't stop people from going to space it's

like the one place where there isn't covid right exactly no i think that's going to be part of i'll probably go to whatever the this one mission possible seven uh you know because again i really enjoyed the last one so all right let's take a quick break and then we come back i do We want to talk about this Malice at the Palace thing and also what's going on with these Netflix tiles and how they're starting to over-promise and under-deliver. Stay with us. This is TBTL. We've got to thank some donors of the day here. These are the wonderful, generous people making the show possible. I said yesterday on the show, Andrew, I felt like I got a good A-B in. I thought I really worked the count, did a nice job, made solid contact, and I felt really good about reading the names. We'll see how I do today. I mean, I want to preface it by saying even a great hitter, they get out seven out of ten times.

Are you – we have too much to talk about. Never mind. I'll talk about it with you another time. Is there a one-minute version? Okay, my question is, you don't have to answer it now because it'll send us on a whole tangent. I feel like I know much, much less about the two football teams I root for than I usually would at this time of the year as the season's about to begin. I feel like I would have been paying a lot more attention to off-season goings-on and, like, who to look for and everything. But I'm still deeper in the playoff hunt of baseball than I've ever been before as a Mariners fan. I don't really have my hopes high, but they are still technically in it. They could – usually by now they'd be mathematically out of it. And so I've had so much fun watching baseball this year. I've been more baseball batty than ever. Batty not like the bat, but like the mental state. That I feel like, oh, yeah, football is coming. I don't really know what's going on. I saw like some glimpses of a preseason game the other day. And when somebody got tackled, I was shocked for a second. And I was like, oh, wait, no, that's how the game works. It felt like somebody tackled a third baseman to me, and it seemed ultra violent.

Well, what we're really not talking about is the fact, because this would take up the whole show, you may have gone to, you may have played on the same football team as the guy who's the current head coach. He's the coach of which team again? I forget off the top of my head. Titans, I think. The Titans coach went to Walsh High. He's one year older than you. You played football at Walsh High.

Yeah, I might have been. He literally might have been the mofo who soaped my locker. I'll never know.

Wow.

I mean, that really would be something. I mean, there's got to be a way to figure that out. I don't know. I mean, I don't. My memory. Let's talk. You know what? Put it on the show sheet for tomorrow. Let's talk about that whole thing tomorrow. Okay. I've been thinking a lot about it.

Okay. All right. Well, we will put that on the schedule for tomorrow. Now, the schedule right now says we've got to thank Carolyn O'Donnell in Colchester, Vermont. Thank you, Carolyn, for the support. Kevin O'Brien. Hey! Renton, Washington. Kevin is not only—well, Kevin, now, because I don't live in Washington right now, I'm not—I'm in someone else's zone for insurance. But I got to tell you, Kevin is great and is still, I assume, working with the – or can we call it Burbank Springs still? Anyway, he's still helping out.

So this is interesting. So you can't have an insurance agent in a different state for the thing? So like he's not –

I believe there's – people are licensed in certain states or something like that.

No, this is – Luke, this is –

Well, I'm going to move back to Washington ASAP just to rectify this.

I think I'm feeling more emotional. I'm showing more emotion about your breakup with Kevin than with Carrie. My apologies to all three of you involved. That was really rude of me.

Well, I mean, let's be honest. Has any of Carrie's family submitted great audio quizzes for the TVTL Summer Games? No. Has Kevin O'Brien's family? Yes. So that makes sense. Zachary Siren is in Seattle, Washington.

Thank you, Zachary. Annette Streak in Brampton, Ontario. You couldn't help it. Brampton. Brampton. All right, P. Newman. Brampton. Hey, John Takamoto. Hey. Kirkland, Washington, the original goat. John Takamoto. Love it. Takamoto, I should say. Excuse me. Thank you, John, for all your help over the years. And then Amalia Talti is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Gosh, I fell in love with OKC when I was. I mean, it didn't hurt that I was there getting to talk to a band that I really love and that they were real nice. But just, yeah, Oklahoma City has really got some cool elements to it, including Amalia Talti living there. And a basketball team. You know what? That actually leads me right into our first top story. Let me say thanks to all of our donors for making the show possible. We really do appreciate it. hello and welcome to top story i was uh watching this malice at the palace thing and it was really really making me sad that the seattle supersonics left seattle not because this story involves them really in any way but because so much of the footage i mean before you get into the brawl part of it so much of the footage is um uh is of just like really hyped up very excited nba arenas like particularly the uh the the palace in auburn hills in michigan where you know in like the nba the eastern conference finals and just how like intense it is and it was just reminding me of long ago when the seattle sonics still existed and when we would have these pressure-packed playoff games and like it's so much fun to have an nba team that's good and uh even if you're not at the game just to be watching it on tv like i love football obviously i love baseball but there was something about those those seattle sonics games uh when particularly when they would be you know on their way to the finals that were just so much fun so i was missing that watching this show i will say this show is even if you don't care about basketball from a cultural standpoint it's very interesting well the show itself i think is called untold and it's so it's a series of kind of stories uh that have maybe not been covered uh properly or enough from the world of sports and it's produced by these brothers chapman and mclean way who are the guys who did uh the battered bastards of baseball which i loved and also wild wild country oh yeah oh they did oh that's right i forget that that's the same filmmakers yeah yeah so these these guys we actually have had them on live wire for wild wild country um they're uh very talented filmmakers and this thing does not disappoint i don't know if you remember i know you're not like a huge basketball guy but i mean you must have at least heard back when this thing happened that you had

this brawl that unfolded between the indiana pacers and the detroit pistons and then people basically ron artest who is now his name is meadow world peace back then he went by ron artest he a fan threw a cup of beer at him and it hit him and he ran into the stands and started fighting with who he thought had thrown the cup of beer turns out it wasn't even the right person but then uh another player steven jackson from the pacers followed him into the stands and then somebody came down onto the court and was trying to fight the players in germane o'neal another player for the pacers took that guy on and it was just this kind of huge scandal for the nba um ron artest was kicked out for the rest of the season and uh the other guys had this like huge like 25 game and like 40 game penalties like suspensions like the biggest suspensions ever handed down the history of the nba um and what this show does it's so interesting though is they really take apart what actually happened in this thing and and really what the consequences were this is i'm sorry this is a little too sporty but just go with me here what i didn't realize was this ended up being such a bad deal for a guy named reggie miller reggie miller played for the pacers our listeners in indiana are well familiar and reggie miller was his he played his entire career as an indiana pacer and was just beloved and they had assembled a team this year that this happened they had assembled a team that was probably the best team in the nba that year and and this guy reggie miller was in his i want to say like 18th season so this is getting to be his last chance to get an nba championship and they what effectively happened was and this was early in the season i think it was like nine or ten games into the season and at this point the pacers had the best record in the nba and this fight unfolds at the end of the game it's just a little shoving it's kind of typical nba garbage time stuff somebody goes up for a shot they get blocked. They don't like it. They think the foul's a little too hard. There's a little bit of jaw

drawing and then everyone's standing around kind of just like doing the posturing that they do in basketball you know when nothing's really going to happen but everyone's trying to assert themselves and then Ron Artest is just lying he does this weird thing where he's lying down on the scorer's table and uh this dude throws a beer from like 10 rows back and it lands on Ron Artest and then this whole thing unfolds and it's like turns out there's only three police officers in the entire arena so there's 20 000 people and three police officers and there's just a melee on the floor fans are coming down and just fighting players like on on the basketball court and there's like people are calling 9-1-1 from the stadium please you need to come to the path you need to come to the uh to the palace they're fighting they're like you mean the players are fighting yes with the fans uh okay man we're dispatching police officers right now like it was totally insane but what was what was crazy was if this one guy who they they figured out who it was if this one guy doesn't throw this beer none of this happens because everything had started to cool down and ron artest was just being kind of weird but he wasn't being aggressive to anyone at that point in fact what he explained later for this they also got everybody relevant to this to talk which was really cool so ron artest is somebody who's dealt with a lot of like mental health issues and and he's very open about and he said he was doing he was like laying down the scorer's table because his therapist had been telling him to count to five when he got triggered

you know i know this part of the story i've been they've been talking about this a lot on um on the levitard show and they interviewed i think it was stephen jackson and so i mean i have vague vague memories of this but i didn't really know any of the details can you explain this laying down on the scorer's table what is the scorer's table is that a neutral zone why is he allowed to lay down on it i know this is probably not small point but i just that's the one thing i kind of can't picture having you know seen the occasional basketball game so there's a thing at

midcourt right which is this long thing that usually has ads it's a it's a long table right but it'll have ads or things that are kind of rotating now because you'll see a shot of the of the scorers table which the people that sit there are like uh the person that's doing the timing for the game you know starting and stopping the clock the person who's running the horn the announcer the pa announcer and when there's a foul the referees are going over to the scorers table to tell the people that are keeping stats, here's who did the foul, it's two shots, it's this. It's kind of the nerve center for everything going on with the game that's not happening on the floor. And like LeBron James has a thing where he goes over to the scorer's table and then gets a bunch of talc, puts it on his hands, and he throws the talc up really dramatically. That's like his kind of fun thing. Sometimes guys will be running to get a ball and they'll dive into the scorer's table or over it. Or like if you hit a big shot, sometimes you'll jump up on the scorer's table Like if it's at the last second It's probably technically not legal But it's not unheard of for people to sort of interact With this surface But the Ron Artest thing was He starts this whole thing He fouls this guy named Ben Wallace pretty hard Then there's everyone shoving Then you see Ron Artest do this weird thing Where he's not even arguing anymore He just goes and he kind of like lays down on the scorer's table While everybody else now is kind of jawboning

Okay he wants to kind of center himself

He said I'm counting to five Because my therapist said I need to like This is what I have to do Do I have to interrupt these impulses I have? By the way, I would say watch this just because watching Meta World Peace, watching him and hearing him talk about his emotional and mental health issues. And, I mean, he should not have gone into the stands and tried to fight the guy who threw the beer, obviously. And he would admit that as well. But he's such an interesting person, actually. And to hear – what you realize in watching this is that, first of all, I would say there's a huge racist component to the whole thing, this idea that like – I think that a certain segment of America was shocked and outraged by this because it was black men primarily involved who were like running into the stands. um it was really like later on like germane o'neill got reinstated like actual courts because this was a there was a criminal there were criminal cases in in oakland county in michigan where this happened and uh based on the documentary all of the players won their criminal cases because they were effectively practicing self-defense maybe not ron artest but everybody else who was fighting with people the people had come to them and were trying to fight them and so you kind of have this like and it also derailed this guy germane o'neill's career to some degree because he i mean again i don't want to get too into the x's and o's but it just ends up being this really interesting story about america and about race and about this dude reggie miller who has never done one thing wrong in his life that i can think of other than maybe goading spike lee too hard during some games because he had this like famous rivalry with spike lee the filmmaker because one of the paces would be playing the knicks spike lee would be sitting In courtside, he'd be yelling at Reggie Miller. Reggie Miller would hit a shot, and then he'd turn around and, like, yell. it spike lee but i mean the the ripple effect of this thing was really pretty interesting actually and um if you if you're a basketball fan like me this is definitely something you'd like and even if you're not if you're just interested in culture uh i think it's pretty good you know i had one

other question about this and i it looks like i was just um kind of misguided i was a little concerned having heard a pretty long interview again i think it was stephen jackson again i'm not really of this world i don't follow the nba um but i got the impression that this was sort of stephen jackson's movie and that he was also like an executive producer of it that does not seem to be the case i was concerned well that this might be one of those things where it's kind of like yeah but was this like one person is it heavily weighted towards one person's account but i'm looking at the imdb page and it looks like they have a lot of different perspectives on this does

this feel fair to you the one so one of the players is listed as an executive producer and that's the player germane o'neill but he now again maybe he's just very very savvy or manipulative but he it doesn't even come off like that michael jordan won the last dance where he had final say on things and that was kind of part of why some people didn't love that documentary or whatever you want to call it infotainment yep in this germane o'neill it doesn't feel to me like he's trying to say there's literally a quote from jermaine o'neal where he says i was never arguing i shouldn't have been punished for what i did but he felt like the punishment didn't fit the crime and what everybody was reacting to was was sort of edited clips on espn that didn't really show the full context of everything that had happened and um so yes he is one of the executive producers and it's probably part of how he was able to get everybody because you know they have like they They have pretty much all of the relevant parties sitting down for these interviews. And I wonder if making Jermaine O'Neal the EP because he knows a bunch of these guys helped with kind of like booking. But it didn't feel one-sided to me. It felt like finally you're getting to actually hear a little bit of context for this thing that has kind of loomed in the world of sports as being like one of the ugliest moments in American sports history. And it's like it wasn't great, but there was just way more going on than I ever would have known at the time. And the other thing was the footage. I think the NBA or maybe the Pistons, someone owned the footage, and it was never released. Oh, right. Yeah, they talked about that. So that was the other issue was it's sort of like you can never get a full picture of it because the only footage of it was from ESPN, And it was just of the moment of like a very tall, big athletic guy, like grabbing a fan, which just seems pretty asymmetric. Sure. Yeah. And it kind of is. But it's like, did that fan come down on the floor and ball up his fist and like try to punch the player a moment before the part we're now seeing?

You know, did you happen to see any of the footage this weekend of there was a huge there was a huge brawl between players and fans at a soccer match in Europe? I'm looking at it here. It was a Nice Marseille game, but it was I was seeing the footage kind of flashing on TVs yesterday. Just like this pouring at some point, like somebody threw a bottle again. And again, I assume that there's racism involved here, too, although I don't know that it's just there's a pretty European soccer. Yeah, exactly. And so but somebody threw a bottle at a player. And then I don't know exactly the blow by blow what happened. But I just kept seeing this footage of just like fans pouring onto the pitch. Luke look at you I'm surprised that that kind of stuff

Doesn't happen more often honestly because one of the Things too that somebody says In relation to this This Netflix thing is like People buy and I see this If I'm at Seahawks game people buy a ticket To a game and they think it entitles them to do literally Anything yeah yeah like As if the people because they're wearing The jersey you don't like as if they have no Long they've ceased to be human beings and

You know what I think that as as sports fans we all have to check ourselves on that to varying degrees right like I don't think you and I are ever interested in throwing a bottle at somebody but certainly you know you've talked about you know like trying not to call out specific players on Twitter anymore and I know that's kind of an unsaid rule in some of like the baseball Twitter that I follow you like you certainly don't tag players say what you want don't tag players you know even if they would happen to see it you know where it gets sometimes a little bit well i don't know either sometimes titillating or sometimes maybe problematic but like when you have those seats out in the outfield at a baseball game and you can like yell something very specific you're very close to you know like the center fielder or or the right fielder like you can you can get their attention and i've watched that happen and sometimes they ignore you sometimes they they play along other times people will They'll do that sort of subtle thing of like they know maybe the player's wife's name maybe or something. like that or let's say something that's like vaguely personal but then it's just to get in their head and like i don't know man there are i don't know where those lines are i remember a

college basketball game some years ago where the uh you know these are obviously two colleges that really really take their basketball seriously and one somehow one of the the home fan base had more or less catfished one of the main players for the other team. So they had created some sort of fake online persona that had reached out to this player in a way that was seemingly probably sexual or romantic and had basically played this big joke on the player. And I believe they had that player's phone number as a result of this. And when the player came to the free throw line, everyone starts chanting the guy's actual cell phone number. Oh, my gosh. That is, I mean, it's pretty messed up. but pretty diabolical.

Yeah, I mean, the psychology part of it.

Can you call that an independent study project? Wow. I mean, that's Ocean's 14 right there. That's a caper. Yeah, it really is. Wow. Speaking of Netflix, just quickly before we get to the emails and V-mails, this was an interesting piece in Slate that you saw, Andrew. Dan Coy's writing about the clickbaitification of Netflix. And I kind of think that the sort of short version of this is Netflix is always tweaking their algorithms and their ways of trying to get you to interact with the content on Netflix. And one of the ways that they do that now is through highly personalizing the clip you will see from a film or the sort of movie poster, if you will. Or the tile. The tile, right. So, like, if you're – like, for instance, he says, if you watch a lot of romance, Netflix might serve you a thumbnail for Good Will Hunting that features Matt Damon and Minnie Driver kissing. If you love comedy, your Good Will Hunting thumbnail might feature Robin Williams.

This had never occurred to me. This is – I find that fascinating.

More questionably, as outlets such as Wired have reported – again, I'm just reading Dan's piece here. If you're black, you're going to end up seeing black performers in your thumbnails, even if they're relatively minor characters in the movie or show. So this writer, Dan, who I'm assuming is white, he says, I see Liam Neeson in the Love Actually thumbnail. Others might see Chiwetel Ejiofor if Netflix perceives them to be a black customer.

That is, well, fascinating. I mean, before you even bring the race profiling into it, it's fascinating to say, like, yeah, we use algorithms. Why wouldn't we want to – why wouldn't we want to use that information to get you to click on something more? But then you – but it is – you know what, Luke? It's social engineering. What is it? How can you avoid it? How can you steer clear of it all? Wait, what? But then you bring in the race factor and that starts to feel kind of ugly, right?

Right. And what this guy Dan is writing is that the danger here, I mean aside from racism, which seems like a pretty big danger, is that it's becoming – they're using a lot of the same systems that like those like ZergNet and shitty clickbait websites use where he says basically like the company now seems more willing to promise something and then absolutely fail to deliver on it, often using headline tricks familiar from the social web. That's what clickbait is, luring someone into clicking and then delivering something other than what the headline made them want. You ask a question, but you don't answer it. You promise satisfaction, but you leave the user unsatisfied. So, and then he goes on to point out some examples of, like, ways that – because they just want the click so bad that they'll just kind of tell you anything or present something. But if you have enough experiences where you click on something and you don't get the outcome you're looking for, that starts to train your brain to do some other things. Now, the complicating factor is it sounds like Netflix is starting to use a different metric for when they think a show is popular. It used to be that if you watched anything on Netflix for a minimum of two minutes, then that thing got the credit for being watched. So if you watched two minutes of a movie, Netflix said, well, someone watched that film. Now that sort of time spent viewing is something that they factor in much more. And he talks to somebody who had a show renewed, and the person who had their show renewed said it probably was not because we had so many people watching the show, but the people that watched it watched for a long time, which we call the TBTL model.

Right. Well, I'm always curious, and we got a small glimpse of this once in one meeting, but I would like more detail. I would love to see a breakdown of every show about, like, where people were listening and when people stopped listening to this show. I couldn't handle it emotionally really? I think it would be interesting because I could put the embarrassing stuff

near the end no i mean i think people like to hear the beginnings of the show like where there's a lot of action right you get you start with the montage and then you kind of lay everything out and then there's some energy at the beginning i'll bet you i wonder but i'll bet you we have chunks of the audience that probably start to just kind of drop off at some point during top stories and those people will never hear this sentence and you know i mean honestly that's my

relationship with the howard stern show like i like that show a lot but what i i've said this before and i'm sorry to listeners that half of the stuff i'm doing on here is just informed by what my listening habits are or what i prefer but i really like hearing everyone kind of update on how they're doing and what they were up to before the show i personally find that sort of stuff intriguing and so my guess is just through that you know being something that's a regular part of this that is something that our listeners a lot of them that is what they find entertaining and then yeah probably as we get further and further into the show depending on what somebody's up to on that day there's some drop-off although i would i would argue that i bet you we have as far as hour-long daily shows not total number of listeners obviously but i would guess andrew that we have a pretty high retention rate compared to other things like this yeah maybe i mean we

also hear from a lot of people who um who listen to us well they a lot of people listen to us to fall asleep at night which is i think they say the highest compliment um and so those people are probably some say that they go back and they listen the next morning where they left off others probably just let it go right um but i do think that what you were saying about the beginning of the show is interesting too because you know that is and i don't know why i'm just being so frank about this like i love doing the summer games with you and the winter games i think it's a really great way for us not to just like go have dead air for two weeks or or um just play Dead Air outperformed the real shows. Oh my god, it probably would. Don't even put that thought in my head. But, you know, people some people, like, tune out for that. And they're just like, I'm not interested in the summer games. And I think you hit on it. It's like, it's still you and me. We're still just spoofing around. I'm not saying every single summer game is as good as maybe the best regular episode of TBTL. But it's just another, it's just a vehicle for us to talk that isn't tied to, you know, the top stories and culture or whatever. But the reason is, is because we're not doing that check in. People really want to know, like, well, what's going on with the dog shit in Andrew's garbage can or whatever, as weird as that sounds like it can be totally mundane. But like, again, when I was when I had a free trial and I heard a little bit of Stern and I'm talking a few years ago now when I was living in Wallingford and listening for several weeks in a row. I remember just like him coming back from a vacation. I probably didn't even know he was on vacation, but him coming back from vacation and talking about I think his cat had died or a cat had died or something.

And it was like they adopt his – he and his wife have this whole basically cat shelter going at their house. Well, it was fascinating. Yeah, they like adopt all kinds of cats that are – have medical problems and are older and stuff. And then they try to re-adopt them out to other homes, but usually they just end up living there. Yeah. They take care of them all day.

And, I mean, of those, you know, weeks or months that I listened, like the cat story, I remember him and Robin going back and forth about, like, some chimes that he got her as a gift. And at one point, she finally got them installed and whether or not that was a good gift. Like, it was just like that more banal kind of stuff that is by far my favorite part of what I heard.

Yeah. Well, if you want banal, we got it. That's the good news.

here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female oh man it's not

from a female it sounded like i was saying that the voicemail we're gonna hear is banal it's not i mean we bring the banal the listeners bring the energy speaking of emails like people keep

emailing me this story eating one hot dog takes 35 minutes off of life according to study I'm dubious yeah give me a major brark okay so I like the way I'm judging that based on but also wait let's what's the outlet on this it is yep the New York Post and that's a headline but so let's move on I have such a complicated relationship

with the New York Post because they do actually generate a lot of good kind of silly TVTL style stories yeah but you have to put up with so much Joe Biden and Hillary bashing like oh what did they just say they actually had a funny one about Cuomo, because there's a rumor, and I don't know if it's verifiable, but it's that Cuomo is not taking the first, well, you know, would you call it the first dog if it's the governor of New York's dog? Oh, maybe, yeah. Like, and that's been, you know, his staff has said that's not what happened. He was going on a vacation, and he just was trying to find someone to babysit the dog. Yeah. But the way that the Post framed it because they hate Cuomo because he's a Democrat, I really wish I could remember the head.

It was pretty genius, actually, about the governor not wanting to take his dog with him when he leaves office. I'm looking for it here.

And by the way, I wanted to. Dog beat dad.

I don't think that's what it was, but something like that would kind of work. Okay. Why don't you play us as female and I'll find it.

Yeah, you do that. I wanted to say the one thing when I said give me a bark. I was not. That was not aimed at the listeners. I was mindlessly scrolling through Twitter where I just saw this headline again. I wanted to throw that out there. I don't want to discourage people from sending us articles that they find interesting. I wasn't dissing your editorial choices there, dear listener.

Okay, here is, by the way, this isn't even the headline, but it's good. That's rough. Cuomo reportedly leaves his dog behind at Albany Mansion. And, again, that's not even the one I was thinking of. It's like another one somewhere buried in the post that's way funnier.

What was the other one you said? Did you say dog beat dad? Because we might need that. Dog beat dad. We might need that as a show title. Okay, so I already talked about this voicemail a little bit. So no setup. Take a listen. Okay.

Hi, TBTL. Hey, dummies.

I would like to say I don't know exactly where this voicemail ends, by the way. We listened to, like, the first part of it, and it sounds like some action happens, and we don't actually know where this goes. I stopped you.

You were playing this before the show, and I said, stop. What you're seeing here is a bad hug. No, I said stop because I was like, let's just find out on the air how it ends. But that is true. We don't know how this ends. Exactly. Okay, so here we go.

Hi, TBTL. Hey, dummies. This is Sharon in Wisconsin. I wanted to let you know that today I was walking my dog and I had a bag of dog poop and I put it in a neighbor's garbage bin that has recently been emptied. and I know you guys hate that but I don't care I don't care if someone would do that to me you could put a severed head in my garbage can and I'd just wheel it to my backyard as long as it wasn't my husband or kid's head well anyway threw the poop in, kind of sneaky I had a feeling this guy might be home but I did it anyway and I kept walking and then I felt a presence behind me

this is where we stop listening yeah i will just interject right now i know that i already get to like i my fingers are already on the scales and i get to talk for uh 81 minutes of the show but um the fact that you're sneaking it means you know you're doing something wrong it's like when it's like my cat bananas she can still hop up on the counter she has never nerver ever jumped on the counter in front of me but as soon as i turn my back her paw prints are all over my clean stove and it grosses me out because i know where those paws have been can i tell you the cuomo headline

it's not even about the dog it's just it's just about they don't like cuomo obviously the headline

is you give gov a bad name oh that's pretty good but anyway the reason i take that personally when my cat does it is because i there's part of her brain that she knows what she is doing is not allowed is wrong and she's sneaking it behind my back so i just would like to say to this person that you know what you're doing is wrong oh no i hit the wrong button i gotta kind of find the place again let's pick it up here maybe in our kid's head well anyway that's good threw the

poop in kind of sneaky i had a feeling this guy might be home but i did it anyway and i kept walking and then i felt a presence behind me and the guy left his house and i felt sure he was going to follow me but I thought don't turn around don't turn around and then when I was far enough away I turned around and he was walking the other way down the street so I don't know if he saw it and he doesn't care or if he didn't see it but you guys have me really paranoid

sorry we don't agree on this topic

it's okay we can still be friends okay bye

I mean we can be friends so long as you're not doing that to my garbage

can i love this response from this listener because it's very much like what i would do which is the listener did something that she knows is kind of dicey but it's our fault for

making her feel worried about yeah no that is i love it that's a classic that's a burbank move and i respect it you know what tip of the cap can i say this and i understand that the chance of this happening is is kind of rare or it's not a very large chance that this would happen because the timing would have to be perfect i want i think is it sharon that we're speaking with here I want all of our listeners to know and you Luke that if anybody came up to me as I'm bringing my garbage bins in and they're walking their dog and they have a little bag of dog droppings and they said hey would you mind if I threw this in your garbage can I would say yes of course you would

It's just like doing it without asking and knowing that it's wrong is the problem. And I understand that we have a bunch of listeners who didn't. I've gotten emails from people who say, I didn't think it was wrong. Well, now you know. It's wrong. You're wrong. Your poop is not my problem. Your poop is not my problem. Your poop is not my problem. Can we get a chant going? Attica.

The people united will never be okay with you throwing your poop in the garbage can. That one doesn't scan as great towards the end. I mean, the other thing I would say about this, and again, I am 100% guilty of lots of versions of this. But the thing I would say to the listener where the logic breaks down a little bit is just because you're not bothered by something, it doesn't necessarily indicate how other people are going to feel. So there's probably a lot of things that I wouldn't be bothered by, but it doesn't necessarily mean I can do those things to other people.

Right.

You know what I mean? So she doesn't mind if someone puts a severed head in her garbage can as long as it's not her husband or her children, which would be a day ruiner.

I'd like to be on that list, by the way. I think that would – Yeah, can we get on that list, please? I'd like to be on that list. Of course, at this point, she's probably hoping for it.

But it's like just because she has a very extremely laissez-faire relationship with what sort of body parts go into her garbage can, that is still not probably – and again, I am the kind of person who would be making the same argument. And I'd be going, well, I don't care if someone does this to me, so therefore I should be able to do it. But the more kind of like realistic version of me knows, sitting here in the sober light of morning, pretending it's a Tuesday, that part of my brain knows that just because I'm not bothered by something doesn't mean that other people aren't. Right. Right. Exactly. Or some people will.

And the thing about this is I'm leaning hard into this again when I told myself I was going to try not to. is going to be more cool about this because i really do see it from from from the other perspective more than i'm letting on here i'm playing a really hilarious character called angry andy um or wait actually didn't we have wasn't it well it doesn't matter cranky andy cranky andy.com um anyway uh i i do under like i do believe hey we live in a society here your tiny little bag in the bottom of my empty bin really what does it ruin it's it's more of a I understand it's more of just kind of a mental block for me. Like, I am cognizant to a degree about how I sound on this topic. I think one of the reasons I get frustrated, though, is because I do think that the arguments on the other side are all specious. Like, I think that if somebody just said, listen, it's just more convenient. And I do think it's – I don't think that I have a right to do this. I just think it's more convenient, and that's why I do it. But nobody says that. Like, my dear friend Hannah Brooks Olson, who has a dog and goes on these walks, I mean, she's got some sort of a commie socialist, like, some sort of argument that makes no damn sense about, like, how, you know, her taxes help subsidize the garbage pickup. I'm like, no, no, this is a service that I pay for. And also, your taxes subsidize the bus, too. I don't think you should be able to throw your dog shit into a public bus. What the hell are you talking about? I just feel like everybody who wants to throw their dog shit in my garbage can have all these arguments that don't actually hold up, and then that's where I get cranky again. Actually, yeah, again, props to this listener who's just kind of like saying, you know what? I don't care. I kind of respect that.

I'm trying to figure out if Cranky Yandy is still. I know. You know what? Our dear friend.

Yeah, I think that he did. Oh, yeah. It is.

If you put crankyyandy.com into the internet, it takes you to tbtl.net. So he's still maintaining that. Yeah. Okay, so there you have it. Another somewhat banal, but we think very compelling episode of TBTL in the books. I actually had fun with that. Yeah, me too. Sometimes when we do back-to-back shows, I get a little, I'm like, am I going to have the energy for this? The real person that suffers is Nicole Perkins, who I'm about to interview, about her book for Livewire. It's a great name, by the way. Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be, which is a Prince lyric. Oh, it is? Oh, I didn't know. So hopefully I have a little gas in the tank left for my last obligation today. Then tomorrow I'm going to be down in California and then a Wednesday checking in from Santa Barbara. So we'll see you all. I guess tomorrow is Wednesday as far as when this is hitting the World Wide Web. But you get the idea. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody.

I don't know what we're going out with. I guess I should just put it in words by dove. Sorry. I was trying to do something at the last minute. Go ahead, Luke. Sorry.

Did you want to do it? Did you have an idea for me?

No. That was the problem. I was like looking while you were talking And then suddenly I realized, whoa, I'm out of time And then I had to stop you

How about the Prince song I think it's If I was your girlfriend, this is the Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be lyric

If I were your girlfriend, I found the song Good job, Luke, thank you Sorry to stop you in your flow state

As Jay would say I have a flow state. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. Until then, have a great Tuesday. Stay safe. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

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Garbage. All I've been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it. Power out.