Muse

What are you doing there, buddy? I'm trying to smoke these hornets' deaths so I can get their honey. They keep flying up from the tubes, stinging me all over the face. I think I just swallowed one. As I tried to explain before, you cannot get honey from a hornet's nest. I just don't think there's any science to support that, buddy. There's some very basic science out there supporting that. Trust me, pal. TBTL!

Sound is all around us, everywhere. It beats at our eardrums until much of the time we're hardly conscious of it.

I hate not you. I hate not your show. And I've got to make a note to myself to not try and do my ab workout while y'all are doing your show. Because I laugh too hard and I can't do my abs.

Would you say that to Tom Petty? You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty, would you?

That's a clown question, bro. I feel so full of... What's the opposite of shame? Pride? No, not that far from shame.

Less shame?

Yeah.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Explaining how a show works means the show's already in trouble. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I don't take no shit from anyone. I smoke my stogie anywhere I want. Coming to you from the Ness Broadcast Center high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, where, let's see, it's kind of nice out there. A little bit of a few clouds, but generally some blue skies and some kind of not super warm weather. Yesterday, it felt positively fall-like. And even though I've been complaining up and down this podcast about the heat in Portland this summer, I don't know if I'm emotionally quite ready for it to be fall yet. So I guess we'll see what happens. I'm also dealing with a situation with Randy, my Roomba. Came back from my little jog this morning. And you know how when you're a kid and they're like your parents give you chores, but there's like the chores, there are the chores you kind of like to do. and then there are the chores that you hate and you put off and you i think randy hates vacuuming the one part of the apartment i really want him to vacuum which is this rug in the living room which is where various bits of food and things fall as i'm sitting watching yelling at the mariners and eating my um you know comfort bowl from laughing planet and every time i leave the house or even when i'm here and i turn him on he does not go to the one place that i asked him to go to he just wants to go vacuum the closet in my bedroom which is basically fine that is not where we need randy to be he is being a defiant child i'm mad at you dad and um anyway just point is i'm dealing with a lot here on episode 3 500 that's a fun number that's relentlessly fun episode 3 500 in a collector's series uh we have lots and lots to get to today including the triumphant announcement of the tbtl song of the summer winner i've been waiting for this moment for months and it's finally here we will officially crown the song of the summer and we'll also talk about this guy in minnesota who uh should definitely be twitter verified he is in the nfl hall of fame aka the hall of flame and he was a supreme court justice in minnesota An extremely important, groundbreaking figure as a black man And is apparently not notable enough for their blue checkmark Which I guess makes me feel better That I don't have a blue checkmark

Hi everyone, welcome to my Twitter

So we'll get to that and then time permitting we'll tell you the story Of the tennis player who is in trouble for taking long bathroom breaks During major matches And he's got an entire stadium of tennis fans And his opposition wondering Because he's been gone for a long time They think it's giving him an advantage We'll get into that And so much more with this guy The longest running Cobra of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships I ain't gonna lie Missing Trash Day is one of the biggest L's as an adult He is Andrew Walsh And he's joining me right now From the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington Good morning, my friend

Good morning, happy 3500th episode, Luke I love the fact that almost any other podcast would hit 100, 200, 500 itself would be something worth noting. But I mean, this is this is like turning this has gotten out of control. Yeah, this is like when, you know, you you're excited when you turn 18 and 21. But then, you know, you're turning, I don't know, 45, 48. Like we're we're not counting anymore. Like we're just long in the tooth. Thirty five hundred.

when i am trying to sort of explain to people what tbtl is or i guess maybe why it's notable usually when i list the number of episodes that's when it finally dawns on them that something truly upsetting is going on you like because they're like oh what's your show about it's always like i do a podcast oh really what uh what's it about there's a lot of them and then you say there's a lot of them and that's i go no i go it's me and my friend and we just kind of And our plan is to talk about the news, but we don't usually get to that. And then we just kind of talk about whatever is on our mind. And then they're like, huh. They start to glaze over. And then I say, we've done like 3,500 episodes. And then they just like pick their jaw up off the floor. And they move to another part of the barbecue to talk to somebody else. Yes, yes.

I've seen that move.

Yeah. Oh, hey, you know who else we have here? This is special. This is special.

I'm aware of how destiny is going to take its course, brother. I just realized, it's David from the basement.

Good morning, my brother. Hi. Wow, I'm honored to be here on 3500. Yes, and a gust day.

I just realized I couldn't find the special intro that I made for you last time you were here. And I think the previous one actually had that very annoying creaking on it. And it may have had Buster saying, hey, hermano. So this is the streamlined version. It's just Hulkster. I guess he's not a Hulkamaniac. He is the Hulk.

We are all Hulkamaniacs. Exactly. Are we? We are all witness. Hulkamaniacs monster, I think. Exactly. Show title? Possible show title. Wow, right out of the box. Dr. Hulkamaniacs monster. Anyway, welcome to the show, bro. How are you? Thank you. I'm doing great. I'm loving it today.

I noticed, well, me and Camaro and JD popped in to Ranch Pizza, where you're working in Portland these days, and you apologized. Well, you didn't apologize. You just clarified that you had a very cool Seahawks hat on, very vintage, because you had run to work and your hair was in a state, which means you have now gotten comfortable enough at your place of employment that you now run your typical 15 miles there.

Yes, yeah. So I was for the first couple of weeks there, I didn't want to come in all, you know, come in hot, hot and sweaty, like literally. Yeah, literally. And it was also scorchingly hot for those first couple of weeks. And so now I've passed the threshold where I can come in, I can towel myself off. I got some wet towelettes that I bring with me, deodorize up and I'm good to go. Because the thing is, I'm working in the kitchen most of the time. I'm going to be getting real sweaty anyway. So it's not a huge deal. I don't emit a ton of smell.

No, you smelled great when I saw you there, although we were all also masked up. I mentioned this on Twitter. This really happened to me during my recent travels. I was in the airport bathroom. I think it may have been in LAX right after I had landed. And a guy came into the airport bathroom, and he took his mask off and did this real exaggerated, like, oh, like, thank God. And I thought.

This is the one place where the mask really comes in.

As I wrote on Twitter, and I literally had this thought, I saw a lot of these dudes at the Buffalo Wild Wings. The mask is your friend in here, dude.

What deep breath are you taking? I know. This is the place where you should be wearing it forever.

It really pays off. This is where you should be double masked up. And similarly, being in the pizzeria slash brewery where we're hanging out with you, we're all masked. And so even if you were a tad on the on the sweaty side, it wouldn't have even registered because of the mask situation.

Plus, I noticed, David, and I don't know if this is a coincidence or not, but they just recently added the sweat lovers pizza to the menu. Is that related to Dave?

That's right. It is a really good one.

The olives on it really masks some of the more odorous stuff.

He's got a Duncan and a bunch of ranch. and i don't know dude i i'm worried david speaking of smells i apologize if i'm just if my body is just emitting massive amounts of like truffle and garlic i bought this like for sort of a tray but it's it's almost like it's like a lunch tray you would have had as a little kid but it was sealed and each like section fancy lunchables back exactly but they were like maricona almonds from new seasons and i'm not usually a truffle guy but the truffle maric i mean last night in my devastation over the mariners and my lost 25 bet i just i just like housed probably 40 truffle garlic maricona almonds so um that's how i cope just lightly

dusted i'm actually interested in this because i like almonds and remember where we used to work Luke they have

I can't remember. Is it Diamond Almonds? I don't know what the brand is, but they're like those little snacks. Oh, it's the Avanti Market?

Yeah, exactly. Did they still have that when you worked there at the FTB? Oh, you betcha. Oh, yeah. I definitely frequented that, especially on some overnight shifts.

Did you guys ever steal anything from the Avanti Market? I was terrified.

I've never stolen anything from any store, and it's not because I haven't wanted to steal everything from a store. It's I am so scared of the confrontation when I'm caught stealing something. And the fact of the matter is, because now I've been on the other side of the counter, they don't care. Right? Just steal the shit.

Well, remember the whole thing when you were working at TJ Maxx and you were in loss prevention, or at least that was a rotation you'd be on, and your job was to just ask people, can I help you? Yeah, real customer service-y. As they were robbing the place stupid, as they say on It's Always Sunny. By the way, it's Marcona almonds. I knew there was something off about what I was saying. Marcona almonds, not Maracona.

Remember the most galling thing about that market, and I know I've said this a million times, but the most galling thing about that, what they called the Avante Market, which was just like a little kitchen area that was handed over to this outside kind of private company that stocks up everything from – there's a couple of refrigerators in there with like milk and soda, and then there's various snacks and stuff, and there's a self-checkout kiosk.

But it was a proto-Amazon store, right? Well, right.

You didn't have to check yourself out. but it was more like proto-CVS self-checkout but they had these signs they had these signs all over that said you are being taped for your own security or security cameras installed for your safety security cameras running for your safety is Chris Sullivan going to shiv me the cameras are there so that we don't steal shit it's not for my safety

I'll show you a choke point

Yeah. Yeah, he's coming. It's Chris Sullivan coming behind you with a full Nelson. I was going to say, though, the almonds that you get there, they're too flavor blasted. I'm not going to say that I never had them. I mean, they're OK. They hit the spot. But, like, I don't need an almond to be just, like, coated in flavor dust that's going to leave me feeling kind of gross. The reason often you're eating almonds is because you want a light snack. How is the dusting of this truffle? I take it that you like it.

It was light. I mean, you know, this is classy stuff. Yeah. we're talking about this is new seasons this is portland's answer to whole food this isn't avante bullshit thank you blue diamond exactly i had a kind of a similar situation when i was uh driving through california last week and i was extremely extremely hungry and we were going up to uh where the hidden valley ranch is and i knew we had a couple more hours of shooting and i was just so hungry but i i didn't i couldn't wait but i also didn't want to like get a full-on meal because i didn't have time so i'm driving i'm driving there's no stores there's no mini marts and finally i see something just south of santa barbara and i pull off and it's like a liquor store and they have they had old school porno magazines which i feel is rare i've literally never in my life even actually seen well i'll tell you there's a place south of santa barbara where they still do a brisk trade yeah exactly david picked up a pen and started writing on his iPhone, which I don't think is how any of that works, but I did note it because JD and Thunder and I had been talking about like, is that a thing that people of the younger generation are even aware used to exist, which is like porno mags, but anyway, I go in and I'm just trying to find some peanuts, some salted roasted peanuts, because that is my when I'm trying to be healthy, but I'm eating out of a gas station or a mini mart, that feels kind of to me like a decent compromise you know what i mean like i try to like stay off the doritos or whatever the you know joe joe's and the heat lamp i feel like peanuts are you know

basically fine and they and they usually come in those little like tube bags which are nice because you can peel off the corner and then sort of just like exactly eat it into your mouth

which is a good driving right and it's also the right amount like i don't want to buy a full-on like jar of it because i'll eat the entire jar it's like that sleeve is like it's portion control and i was just like going and all they had was like the craziest flavor blasted peanuts everything was flaming hot yeah or dipped in and i went to the guy like do you have any regular peanuts and he was like oh yeah totally he was actually do you ever have one of those moments where you just kind of go into a random store or whatever it is they're selling and somebody there it just Exceeds your expectations For friendliness Like this is a guy My guess would be This is a family business As those kind of Gas station You know Small kind of This actually wasn't a gas station It was literally just A mini mart liquor store But my guess would be It was a family business This guy looked like He was probably In his late 20s And he could become Very jaded Because you never know What the clientele Is coming in to buy Well we know They're buying pornography And flavor of blasted peanuts But

you could just get kind of jaded and be you know he's behind all that glass and whatnot and there's like various signs that are taped up i feel like mini marts like that are the land of handmade signs that have been taped up inside like that that tell you about the history of the place basically

like well no it's all not bring up george hw bush like okay what happened there oh okay sure we're

not we are out of uh you know whatever you know like there's just like something that they got asked about so many times that at three in the morning while bored they just made a handwritten sign and taped it up yes um you can no longer ask us about our fried pickles anyway the guy was so nice he took me around the whole store and he was like the dude was there delivering like from the beverage distributor whatever kind of you know cheap wine they had that guy was delivering he was like what's up brother they're like high-fived he took me on a full tour of the liquor store Scorsese style It was amazing We went through the kitchen I saw all the dishwashers It was a cool feeling Took me to every corner of the store Where there should have been normal peanuts And in fact there were none And then he was so apologetic I'm so sorry dude I was like it's totally cool man We can order some for you Yeah exactly Then it was like too much He was like just wait here I got a friend Giorgio He'll bring some down um anyway okay uh let's see here we should do this let's go to a break on the early side by which i mean one minute late yeah by normal standards yes by anyone else's standards i used to have a choir teacher i think i've said this on the show a few times uh lynn hall i feel so bad for this dude because he was actually a very um he was a very um sort of i think um like a very good choir teacher and really knew his music but because we were in middle school all we wanted to do was roast him behind his back for silly things like he had sweat stains under his arm and when he'd be like directing oh yeah we'd just be like i gotta say if you're

a director like a conductor like that like that should be something that's on your radar is doing

what you can to eliminate the sweat stains i think he was very i think he was very gifted in the music department and a little less aware in some of those kind of interpersonal things but he used to say, because he would get mad because we were always late to class and he would say early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable. Yeah, I like that. And that's obviously, that's the rule we live by on this show. That's what we always put to the break. Actually the opposite. Exactly on time.

It's early never happened. On time was yesterday.

And the future is a gift we call now. Oh, I forget. Sorry, Gary Busey

was my...

Okay, let's go to this break and then we'll come back because we have lots and lots to still get to here on Old TBTL. Alright, let's thank some donors of the day. Wonderful, generous, beautiful humans who are keeping the show going with their donations each month. Folks like Jane King down there in eugene oregon we were in eugene recently was that what wasn't that where our signs were stolen that was corvallis yeah that was stolen i mean they blew off of our stolen by the wind oh yeah that sounds like a donovan song oh that's actually good i was gonna say that sounds like a bob seeger song yeah yeah but no donna no much more donovan were you i didn't hurt your feelings i mean i probably would have i was sitting somewhere and i heard a song and i was like this is the weirdest song i've ever heard and i shazammed it and it was donovan oh but was

i just tweeted like was that one of his weird ones the picture was weird that you sent i didn't remember the maybe the song well you know i thought it was just like colors or one of his

like kind of mellow hits no you know what that's you're right i'm wrong that i misstated things it wasn't that the song was weird it was that i thought oh this is a good song what is it and And then I was, like, stoked it was Donovan, but then the photo was so strange to me. It's so strange.

He's using, and again, you know, I'm not trying to age shame anybody or judge them by their looks, but, like, he's got, you know, he's an older gentleman now with very long grayish white hair and really leaning into the cosmic look. Uh-huh. You know, he's... Like cosmic jazz. It's a cosmic gumbo. And apparently he's using that as his, like, his image for everything. Whatever you shazammed, you shazammed an old song from 1964, but it showed you this, like, you know, look like a character from Twin Peaks. Let's just be honest with you. I can see it being very disturbing.

Or some kind of Netflix movie where Jennifer Aniston goes to a yoga retreat. Like, but anyway, I tweet out just like when I think of everything.

at andrew walsh has added to my life yeah it's a picture of donovan yeah um good i'm glad you took that in the spirit it was intended um jeff mckee is checking in from beautiful linwood washington jeff thank you for the donation hey jordan naraki uh is it here in portland oregon i actually see him right jordan you're going the wrong way on cooch my friend that is i made that

same mistake earlier yeah you did yeah they'll take you right over the burnside bridge and then

you're and you're lost has there been uh one time as we've been working our way through these song of the summer rounds that you've gotten here successfully there was the time where you got dropped off at the wrong coffee shop and had to like jog here yeah you got you you ended up on the ambulance row today aka cooch street and then routed back onto burnside yeah luckily our parents

always taught us to be late for everything uh and i i tend to now buck the trend of that um and so i was running early thankfully uh and so i didn't get here too late uh but yeah the streets here are so confusing i we've lived here for over a year and i think that i know a lot of the sort of byways and things and it it really trips me up every single uh time especially down here where you live luke where it's like all one ways and cooch street specifically is very confusing to me

Would you say that your adult life, David, is just one big reaction to our childhood? And by reaction, I mean attempt to live in the opposite manner of basically everything we experience. Isn't that what adulthood is? Is just sort of like being shaped in a certain way. Well, sure. But you're right. I mean that is we're all reacting to our upbringing. But I mean like I just feel like you just live your life in a way that is deeply anti-Burbank.

Just like I have so many memories of sitting in the backseat of the car in the driveway and mom is just like running in and out of the house, forgetting and remembering a thousand things that she thinks she needs to bring to the church service and just not really caring that we're going to be late, except that everyone's going to give us, you know, dirty looks or waiting at the sports field for mom and dad to come pick me up from practice and being the only one there with the coach and their kid. who's like yo we gotta get to wendy's for our dinner or whatever like and you're like are your parents coming do you need to call them again like what is going on and that uh happened often so i am really trying to make in my adulthood a a very uh concerted effort to to make that not happen

um you know the difference in our ages is is really sort of like the evidence of that is i I was also always at practice waiting for a ride or a pickup, but there was no one there because I come from the generation where the coach was just like deuces. I'm like, I guess I live at North Acres Field now, which is not unscary. This was in the pre grinder days and there was a lot of people roaming those woods for whatever purposes. But you you came of age in the time when the coach would actually wait with you.

Yeah. Which was actually worse. Yeah. Yeah, they're very irritated. I would rather they would leave, and then I could just be, like, you know, chewing the end of my glove or whatever. Oh, that's some tasty beef jerky right there. Some good leather.

You know who always picks their kid up exactly when it's time after practice is Mark Cui in Tarzana, California. Mark, thank you for the donation, and thanks for just being a great dad. Thank you for not scarring your child and driving them to podcastery, as clearly happened to David and I. Also, Kirsten Medhurst is in Fairfax, Virginia. Kirsten, thank you for the donation. And then Heather Rowe is in Sellingsgrove. Or maybe it's Sellingsgrove, PA. Yeah. How did this Sellingsgrove escape my radar? I don't know. I feel like I'm pretty dialed in on PA stuff. Oh, do you guys know I'm going to PA in a few weeks to interview Gritty, the mascot?

Oh, good. Well, the guy who invented Gritty. Oh, okay. I was going to say, yeah, because I haven't heard Gritty's voice. That would be an exclusive right there.

No, I think the bit is going to be I'm going to sit down in a fully lit formal interview with Gritty and just ask him questions, and he's just not going to answer any of them.

That sounds good.

I'm trying to slowly turn CBS Sunday Morning into a 10-year-ago version of The Daily Show.

Can you balance it out by then interviewing another mascot about Gritty? Can you talk to Mr. Matt?

well you know what the guy that the story is actually a guy who's the sort of mascot whisperer he's credited with coming up with the philly fanatic and gritty wow those are wow those are great so i mean i'll probably get into this later this week but i'm going to sioux falls south dakota because i'm going to be interviewing this kid who is 12 years old and he's the mascot for the suit.

fall canaries minor league team so he's like the youngest pro mascot in america what a cool job and he is he's trained under the guy who is credited with inventing gritty and the philly

fanatic wow the next prodigy of yes mascot what exactly what do they call it with coaches the coaching tree right like one head coach will have a bunch of assistant coaches and then right just yeah so you have like the the mascot tree sort of there right and there's this guy runs these

mascot camps uh in the summertime which this kid i'm going to go interview this 12 year old has been going to since he was like i don't know very young he's always wanted to be a mascot his dream apparently is to be obby the tiger for auburn when he goes to college but these mascot camps it's where you learn all the mascot stuff which apparently is like don't talk that's the biggie i feel like you knock that out in day one but it's like how to do like your hand movement so that you're like hyping the crowd also remember don't say anything it's like

what's the school that Buster Bluth has to go to should not be seen, should not be heard exactly

so anyway, maybe I'll swing by Sullins Grove if I get the chance out there in PA, anyway, thank you to all of our donors of the day for making the show possible, we really do appreciate you

hello and welcome to

Top Story, alright then this is a big deal we are I guess going to announce the TBTL song of the

summer yeah man that

sounds great to me you want an almond before that there's still two I'll show you this this is what I was talking about Andrew there's still two quadrants left David that I haven't eaten the herbed Valencia and then just the straight up plain old Marcona

you know something tells me to not eat on the air but that is clearly not a voice that you've ever

listened to well you know what it's funny I had the Hey Dummies video this week I'm eating a salad throughout it which I just is going to enrage people to know it like the literally the worst food I could pick. I'm like, it's probably like broccoli in my teeth. But anyway,

is it true that your parents always taught you guys to eat on the mic? And David, that's why you're rejecting it. Famously, that was a, always be late and eat almonds into the mic. Yeah.

A B E always be eating the Burbank family.

That's who our, our nephew Abe is named after actually. That's actually true. People don't know that. Yeah, true story.

All right, so here we go. If I remember right, it is John Batiste Freedom going up against Japanese Breakfast Be Sweet.

That's exactly right. Yeah, the final matchup. Did you guys expect this matchup to happen when we were first listening to the first 16? No. Because I really didn't. I'm so far off, man. I thought it was going to be the Doja Cat song. I thought it was going to be the Lorde song. So I was very surprised and also surprised by the outcome. So it was pretty close. The winner got 53% of the votes, 13 more votes than the loser got.

Let me ask this. What are people supposed to do with this information once we announce it, once you announce it, Davey? Should this be like to people, I don't know, like purchase the song and start blasting it from their car as they drive around? Like what are the TBTL listeners, are they supposed to vibe harder with the song that's picked as a song?

of the summer no it's retired forever no no it's in the ring of honor yeah exactly you hang it up

in the rafters yeah and no one's ever allowed to listen wow that's a real kind of mixed mixed thing

for the winner this is why a lot of artists have like john batiste approached us he really did not want to be in the song of the summer this year because it is not good for streaming or record

sales but you know this is it yeah quite true okay so um okay well do what you want with this information but we were about to hear the song picked by the listeners did you vote in the final

rounds andrew i know i voted in every round and almost every one of my picks lost almost yeah my bracket was was bunk by round two you could have won a million dollars you know you would have

picked right how am i not on fan duel like i'm you guys see me donking off money on bad mariner

bets very true well do you mind what what sports book do you use or how does or you just do it

directly through the state service yes the state of oregon has a sports betting app which is extremely unreliable like it's you know it's sort of like crashes most of the time or gives you weird error messages one time this is i think i mentioned this too andrew when i was trying to come up to meet you all at the mariners game we all went and watched that game together i uh i decided while on the runway at portland airport that i wanted to lay a little bet down on the Mariners something about like no one's scoring in the first inning I only go for the most ludicrous bets like the thing I bet last night in the bottom of the or the top of the ninth inning I bet $25 that the Mariners would come back and win and if i would have won that bet i would have won 175 they were down by one at that point they were down by one and actually when a guy got on base for houston my odds went up like i was going to make more money that was when i jumped on the bet um but i never bet i mean the reason i never well that's not true i don't i don't never win these bets but the reason why they generally don't come in is because i'm betting the thing that has the least likely outcome hence it being 175 as the payoff and like seriously it's like once every three months i just jump on there I'm just playing off the winnings I got from that one game Where we were down by like 7 or something And I bet on us That's still the same money But anyway, I was on the airplane It was taxiing on the runway And I was trying to put a bet down on the Mariners To hold I don't remember what team we were playing that game, Andrew

Oh, when you came to town I can't recall either

Anyway, the plane Because Portland International Airport Is basically right on the Oregon-Washington border It's right on the Oregon side As the plane would taxi on the runway And move too close to Washington The app would kick me off Because you can't do these bets in Washington It's only legal in Oregon And I was so mad and the plane took off And we landed and the Mariners had given up Like four runs in the first inning So if I would have been able to play my hunch I would have totally lost whatever money I was trying to wager

Because yeah we came back from I know Kikuchi was pitching Yeah we won Can't remember who we were playing Oh well that was yeah okay whatever so um here we go i have a lot of money riding on this song of the summer contest

right you better give me the right answer david or i'm in a lot of trouble with some very dangerous

people all right well uh the winner of the 2021 tbtl song of the summer competition is be sweet by japanese breakfast

I assume Japanese Breakfast is listening right now Celebrating, popping champagne Yes It's getting messy over there Michelle Zahner

Oh, we have her on live stream Yep, there she is Yeah, we do Oh, you're muted

You're muted

No, not you

You know, it's not out of the realm of possibility. Michelle Zahner is an Oregonian originally. She could be driving the wrong way up Cooch right now. You never know. She's probably crying in an H-Mart somewhere. That is true. That is very true. Great book by her and also has inspired me to go to H-Mart. Have you been? There's an H-Mart over like off of Hawthorne. No, there's also one in Beaverton that I drive past often. Yeah, and I haven't been in. I went to the one basically because of that book. wow well that's exciting i'm kind of glad that that this song won because a i knew that andrew hated the john batiste song i didn't hate it and also i felt like i had the idea of it this man hates freedom get away from the freedom i uh i felt like i had kind of like you know as we say often on the show i think i had sort of put my thumb on the scale with the john batiste song because i really liked it and i felt the listeners were just trying to impress me slash curry favor with me by by picking it so i'm glad that i'm glad that the will of the people for once in this country the will of the people triumphed well thanks for doing all of

this david i really appreciate it thank you david i mean it's been a lot of fun it's been an excuse to have you on the show every couple of weeks i don't know we have to come up with another

excuse i think well you know what we could do i don't know why we're just working this out on the air but if you want to be on the no point david yeah absolutely no i uh i was just thinking about

that actually with you know the football seasons coming up and um i don't have a huge uh incentive to watch the games but if i'm going to be on the no point then i you're not feeling it anymore are you trying to wean yourself i'm definitely i i'm very much on board for the browns at least i don't know the seahawks for me are uh i don't know what they're gonna be this season what you've done to my brother look at i don't know what the seahawks are gonna be this season uh i it's rashad my confidence it has it always has been uh i i feel that russell wilson is uh beginning his decline And I'm just really getting myself prepared for extreme disappointment from this God-loving quarterback.

It's usually like a thing your dad – it's like your dad being mad. That's a God-loving quarterback. But in our case, he's literally a God-loving quarterback.

No, I'm sorry. I should not ask this question. I realize that. This is a straight-up sports question. But even with the new offensive coordinator, there's not like that doesn't create a little spark of interest for you.

No, I mean, it definitely does create interest. um but not enough i don't know it's also like we we got like three players in the draft and only one of them is uh was a somewhat like touted uh you know recruit so it's hard uh it's it's gonna be an interesting season and i'm excited to watch definitely and if it means i get to come on the show more and talk about it then i will hang out i will take copious notes and bring a penny and

alicia sure and watch football with your brother who loves you i'm gonna put one of my patented and famous burbank stone cold locks out there and just say i think they're gonna go undefeated wow in a 17 game season undefeated yes place the bet no i do think they're i think i'm with you that russell wilson is and will contain this like a virus we're gonna contain this conversation to like two minutes but i think that uh the offensive line is much improved and i think if you give Russell Wilson if he's not running for his life like I think two things are true he is beginning his decline and if you protect him for longer he will have success that's my theory so I think he's gonna have like a really good season because they did improve their line at least that's what people have told me I don't really know but that's what I hear so I think he's gonna I think he's gonna do all right I like that they re-signed Jamal Adams although he is unbreakable what they call Mr. Glass I feel like Jamal Adams Is always kind of dinged up But then always sort of over performing

In one in a respect That he should not be over performing As a safety Which is sacks and quarterback Pressures like that's not right he's not

A cover him to do yeah he's not He's not gonna defend anyone On the pass we're just gonna blitz him

Every which is a lot of what that position Should be right but

It's like yeah anyway okay well Well, this and more will be discussed. So if you liked this, yes. Join us starting in a couple of weeks on Mondays for the TBTL No Point Conversion. Hey, speaking of football players and decorated football players at that, listener Caroline sent in this little note. Twitter has denied verified status for a guy named Alan Page. He was the MVP of the NFL, and he was also – he's in the Hall of Fame, and he was a Minnesota State Supreme Court justice. And what's kind of funny to me is that he's clearly mad about this. He tweeted at Twitter, not notable, exclamation point. Hmm. Hashtag not notable. That's from the dude Alan Page, which it's just funny because I feel like if I were in the NFL Hall of Fame and I were a retired Minnesota State Supreme Court justice, not having the blue checkmark would be low on the list of things that are kind of like firing me up. But he seems mad at Twitter that they have decided he doesn't deserve the blue checkmark. He's as petty as you have been. Exactly, but I have a reason to be petty, which is I've accomplished nothing. This guy's accomplished everything. That's what's weird to me when somebody of this stature is butthurt about something as meaningless as Twitter. I have no stature, so to me, Twitter is everything.

Yeah, and also, you don't think of a justice as somebody who has, well, I shouldn't say a big ego, but let's say a flashy ego. You know what I mean? Like, they're in a position where, you know, it's a respected kind of, you already used the word august. Did I say august? Funny.

Speaking of which, shout out to our sister, Sarah. They just adopted a cat named August. And they're going to call him Gus. Is that our friend? Is that Gus's full name? August 2? Gus Fletch? I think so. It's not his last name. No, it is. It's Gus Fletch. G. Fletch?

Gus Fletch in the house! Oh, well, congratulations on the new, I guess that makes you a kiddie uncle. Hey, kiddie uncle. And please address me as such. Hey, Uncle Kitty. Hey, Uncle Grandpa Kitty.

See, that was one of the best little bits of last week's show. I loved that part. Sorry, Andrew, you were saying I abused the word a gust.

Anyway, you just don't think of somebody who has sat on a Supreme Court bench as somebody who really cares a lot about a blue checkmark, right? Like it's not like just that he's accomplished a lot, but he accomplished a lot in that realm as well. Like you just don't see that as being somebody kind of driven by this sort of petty egoism.

Right. Yeah, exactly. because a he's accomplished a ton in his life and be you're right you think of a supreme court justice they have the black robes on they're supposed to be very serious uh you just think that like they wouldn't even know what a twitter is also he what he was forced to retire from the supreme court because he aged out i guess in minnesota when you're 70 you then have to retire from the state supreme court oh which is crazy or i don't know if then if the age is 70 or if he had just done so many years on the Supreme Court that he had served his time.

So maybe because if you're kicking people off the Supreme Court at 70, that's like most of the people on there. Right. Well, probably not state Supreme Court. Right. This is this is when you know you're a baller, though. The NFL Hall of Fame hit up Twitter and said, can you please verify this, dude? We think he's notable.

Wow.

That's great. They're getting involved. That's what I'm missing.

When was he the MVP of the league? 1922.

This was when they played actually with a peach basket Each end of the field Leather helmets Yes, and it was a perfectly circular pig's bladder That you would bounce off someone's forehead He was not good at football I mean, he didn't play something that in any way resembled What we think of as football Do you think Nope, stopping Luke, your brain is telling you to not get into this I don't want to go into a whole other sports thing Do you think any of the people from the olden days of sports who are famous could compete in the modern days of sports? No. I think it would be literally cruel and unusual to put them.

I mean, also, they would be destroyed.

Take Jim Brown, the greatest, arguably the greatest running back of all time. Yes. Go Browns. Yes. What would he be as a running back in Rashad Penny? I don't know. I just have Rashad Penny on the brain. Would he be the Derrick Henry? Would he still be trucking people over? No, no. He would get hurt almost immediately.

Although he would, in this situation, he would have the advantage of modern training. I mean, I don't know. Where does this fantasy begin and end? Is the fantasy that we have just used some sort of teleportation device where we go and we suck him up and then he's immediately in a modern game? Or is he a guy who has his same physical characteristics and willpower and all those things, but he's come up through the modern system? Right.

Right. If you took any of these, well, I don't know any of them, but if you took a Jim Brown type and like a 17 year old Jim Brown and you beam him into modern life and he's like doing all the training where he's running with a parachute behind him and you know what I mean? All that stuff they're doing. He would, I assume, be great because he probably had like he had willpower attributes. Yeah. His physical attributes would just be better because he'd have more like creatine in his system. But he would still smoke at halftime, though. Always. And have a bud. I just love – I want to go back to the era where players were drinking sometimes during halftime. Like, oh, I've got a bum knee. You know what will help that? A Budweiser. I'm Kenny Stabler. I'm Kenny the Cobra or whatever Kenny Stabler's nickname was. I'm going to smoke up a couple darts and drink a Bud and then go back out and throw for 400 yards in the second half. Hey, speaking of premier athletes, this is another story that was interesting to me. There is a tennis player named Stephanos Sitsippis. And he was playing Andy Murray in the U.S. Open Andy Murray is, I think, a beloved British tennis player And a guy who's pretty successful And I guess Stefanos is pretty successful, too Because he actually beat Andy Murray In the first round of the U.S. Open But Andy Murray said he lost respect for Tsitsipas Because Stefanos Tsitsipas took a bathroom break of, like, eight minutes And Andy Murray was quoted as saying I don't know how long it takes you to go to the bathroom, but this is way too long. He thinks that the guy was basically like just taking a break and trying to also kind of like psych Andy Murray out.

Because wasn't the situation of the game that Murray sort of had Tsitsipas on the ropes? Am I kind of right about that? He was kind of cruising, right? And now suddenly this is a big interruption in the game.

And I should mention, too, that this guy Tsitsipas I don't think is any slouch. He was a French Open finalist this year. So I think he's pretty good I don't follow tennis much Ever since Jim Currier left the game I just haven't had a lot of interest That was just a joke for our tennis fans I had a feeling that was a joke I just didn't want to laugh Because I don't get the reference But ever since Michael Chang got out of it Dude, he was pushing the Reebok pumps back in the day And it was like, I was all in for that But I think Tsitsipas is actually pretty decent If he was in the finals of the French Open But yeah, I think he was not doing uh it seems like um murray had him a bit on the ropes and then he went to the bathroom and then came back and then managed to come back i guess it was uh the sets were two six seven six three six six three six four um and uh and so yeah i think he kind of and he did this in a previous match too against somebody else not at the u.s open but somebody else got mad at him for taking these bathroom breaks i'm the reason that i'm fascinated with this story is because i have a huge amount of embarrassment around going number two yes and like i mean i've told the story many times on this show of almost oops like crapping my pants during a recording of wait wait don't tell me and part of what made that situation happen was i didn't want to

get up in front of you know 400 people and say uh can we all hit pause on this i need to go visit the restroom because the idea of everyone waiting for me hey randy not now wow what is he's going there's no universe in which 1009 is when he is supposed to start doing his stuff oh my gosh i told you he is absolutely uh just a rebel i'm mad at you dad he is acting out he heard you shit-talking him not vacuuming the carpet correctly. She's going to go right to the closet, too. There he is. I see him on the Zoom. He wants to say, what's up? He's just Zooming in. He loves coming in the studio. It makes nuts.

My cat literally, bananas just did this exact move only much quieter about 20 minutes ago. Oh, in fact, here she comes now.

Vacuuming my foot. This is what Penny does. He's burrowing in you. This is what Penny does. I'm taking a picture. Sorry, once again, it's going to be foot fetish. Foot fetish Tuesday. What is he doing? david i mean he is vacuuming my bare feet for no reason leave me alone he's just trying to get on mike a little bit he's doing exactly what our pets do all the time he hates a closed door i mean this is a fairly large apartment he could have gone anywhere in this apartment he came in he beelined it for my feet that is you give him a treat and you don't believe in a god i mean that is strange i'm trying to take a picture with my feet not in because andrew doesn't like yeah i don't like that or i'll blur your tail i do feel i don't want you ending up notably not gross feet yeah um anyway i i'm i'm i'm interested in this story that because let's just say that the guy did stefanos did get an advantage by going and taking this break there's also the embarrassment factor of saying to the you know to the uh tennis official i need to go use the bathroom and then just like chilling in the bathroom waiting to like i don't know Ice out Andy Murray and or like Recover a little bit yourself but you're also Basically telling everyone in the stands I had to drop a major dookie

Yeah right but also if it Was legit see this is a little bit hard For me to relate to In a number of ways number one I don't really know how to You don't poop yeah and number two I've never pooped in my life which is why I'm So laid back no but like Like you Luke there's a I just can't well this is not true this is not like you but for me conditions usually have to be right for me to have to go number two unless something is going wrong right unless my body is reacting to something negatively just a natural thing if often traveling will slow down my system just like any disruption in my usual in my usual routine so i can't imagine being in a any situation where there's a bunch of people looking at me and suddenly I feel like I need to go use the restroom let alone any kind of a sporting event like that but again I'm not saying that my body is is how athletes bodies work but like then if I really did have to go like to go and relax enough and I mean honestly if I'm having a dinner party and there are four people over here and I just disappear for five minutes like it's hard to go to the restroom because I'm thinking like all right it's now been six minutes they're all gonna think I'm in trouble in here like I can't get it out of my head I can't imagine

doing that imagine i don't know how many people the u.s open you know facility holds but let's just say uh you know 5 000 people plus if it's on tv i mean this is a pretty big matchup with andy murray all of that pressure while you now there are other there's another version of this which is the guy does have some gastro yeah well i was gonna speaking of pressure uh i just to bring in my own since we're all talking about our gross bodies yeah um i didn't say as a as a runner When you're – if you're physically exerting – when you're physically exerting yourself a lot, it's – your stomach and your digestive system is going to do some weird stuff. And there's also – there's a literal pressure that builds in your gut, which makes it a – to put it delicately, a sort of almost a percussive, explosive experience. The combustion becomes an explosion. Have you been eating linseed oil rags again? Am I not supposed to drink it? And so it can be a real situation. And at that point, it's all caution to the wind. You're just looking for the nearest. Follow-up Donovan record. Yes. You're just looking for any – it doesn't matter if the facility is – if people are waiting outside for eight or ten minutes. You just have to do the business Any port in the storm You know the last time that happened to me Was in Lake Chelan With That whole crew That I used to go to Lake Chelan To romp with I used to romp with them And it's you know Excessive alcohol consumption

seems to be the order of the trip unfortunately and so i try to mitigate that by getting up and doing some kind of jog in the morning just to sort of get the poison out and so i somehow got myself out there and was jogging and then my body immediately went into a full-scale revolt and it was like nope this is not we are not okay with this and uh luckily there was a porta potty and it was like the porta potty that all these joggers were using and it was that kind of thing where i was just like you know i'm gonna be in here for a minute and it was like it's weird how like all my embarrassment went away because of the immediacy of my situation yes so maybe that's what this guy uh stefanos is dealing with too you don't know i mean it's very physically grueling this match was almost five hours wow it's nerve-wracking it's a very strategic game i get the sense you know of like tennis it's also physical but also strategic so i feel bad if he really does have a stomach problem and everyone just thinks he's cheating but andy murray also is

calling him out for stopping the game earlier for a some sort of a foot issue that he is also

he was just kind of delaying things yeah yeah yeah okay well anyway um note to self i don't think my tennis career is ever going to take off because i definitely think i would probably have

some issues here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man It's not from a female.

All right, Andrew, you had forward promoted and foreshadowed some email and maybe female content yesterday. Should we get into that?

Yeah, let's do this now. So last week on the show, I believe near the beginning of the week, we were talking about this issue that I struggle with, which is strangers depositing their little bags of dog poop in my empty trash bin when it's still on the street before I have time to bring it back in. And, you know, everybody looks forward to garbage day. You have a fresh, new, empty garbage can for the rest of the week. And then you go to bring it in, and you see that you were not the first person to use your own garbage bin. Somebody beat you to it. And there's medical waste in there in the form of dog dookie.

Oh, we're calling that medical waste. Well, I am.

I'm trying to exaggerate here. A biohazard. Yes, exactly. And we actually got several. There was a truck up the wrong way up Cooch. Oh, really? Japanese breakfast sighting. I'll kill you, bud. All right. Let's listen to one of these voicemails I got on that topic. See if we can straighten some things out here.

Hi, guys. Listener Rachel from Pittsburgh here calling regarding Garbage Talk. I am a person who in the past would have thrown my dog poop in someone else's garbage can and not thought twice about it because it's a garbage can. That's what it's for. You have convinced me, Andrew, that it is a problem for some people, and I won't say more because it seems to, like, really bother you guys, and I guess that's fair. Not us guys. You're allowed to be bothered by things, and the penalty of me carrying a poop a block longer is not awful. I can do that. But I just have questions. Like, why is this such a big deal? It's a garbage can, and where does it end? like if i see an empty like are we okay with me throwing my dog poop in a in a city like you know i go to a park and there's a garbage can there am i allowed to throw the poop in that garbage can that belongs to the city even if it's empty or full what about like a dumpster i just to me a trash can is a trash can and it's for trash and like i said like you've convinced me i'm not going to do it i just need explanation on why this bothers you um and like i said and if if there are more rules that i need to to know about because i will i will respect that it bothers you even if i don't understand it all right have a good day love the show thanks one

other rule is you must if you pass my garbage bin you must put an envelope full of a hundred dollar bills in it that's another rule that i have all right let me address some of these knowing that I am probably not in the right on all of this stuff, especially with my passion on this particular topic. David, as somebody who is actually going on a lot of dog walks these days, I would like to get your take on this as well. But to answer these questions directly, why is it such a big deal? It's because I'm a broken man. But more specifically, the idea of like which bins can you use and which bins would I recommend you not using? And, yes, I think that, like, the whole point of a city-operated trash bin, which I think we should have more of so that I don't have to deal with your poop.

I have talked about the war on trash cans.

Yes, of course. Those are there for everybody to use. That is the point here for me. And I kind of hate how petty I'm being here and focused on, like, what's mine? But, like, I do think that part of it also is the fact.

that we pay a pretty steep fee for our garbage pickup in the city that I don't remember I don't think we paid that as a family growing up I think it was just like a service that our taxes paid for and so therefore I could see the line being blurrier there but because this is something that I pay for every month the you know the city sending out a contractor to pick up my garbage and hopefully they do I feel like yeah that is my private bin and so that's that's my argument And it's like, yeah, if you're passing a public receptacle, go ahead and throw it away. But if you see somebody's private bin outside their house, don't gift them with your dog's poop. Now you ask about dumpsters, dear listener.

Can I throw one thing as well on this? There's also this sort of I don't think it's 100 percent the case that the dog poop bag always stays like, you know, the structural integrity of the dog poop bag keeps together. Stays together In other words This is all I mean this whole conversation Assumes that the dog poop Always stays in the bag Right That it's tied properly That the bag holds It doesn't get smashed Under something heavier And then somehow I mean if you were Having to deal With someone else's Dogs I mean I'll just call it Medical waste Yeah That comes out of the bag In your garbage can That's super gross I don't think I don't think anybody Would say that's appropriate And we're just assuming That the bag holds And that you're just You know what I mean So I'm saying There is also a scenario in which it gets even worse, which is a reason to maybe

not do it. Yeah, and if you go White Lotus on my garbage can Have we all watched

No Becca watched that shit when I was out of town?

Oh, okay, never mind. Okay, sorry

I thought you had watched it. No, I just mean I was like, we actually talked about it. I was like yeah, I'm holding off. I'm trying to be good and everything and she was like, I gotta talk to you about something. When I got over to California

I was like, oh wow, this is too mysterious. So you haven't finished it yet? No, I was

trying to be, you know, I thought that we had a deal going about not watching it and uh no i need to i need to catch up on it um

anyway uh sorry about that i thought uh we were speaking the same language there oh no no no you didn't ruin anything for me um but anyway uh yeah oh so back to this idea of dumpsters though and this is maybe where my hypocrisy comes in you know businesses often if you see a dumpster usually that's a private dumpster right i don't think there are many public dumpsters around which means there is some sort of private entity that is paying for that dumpster to be emptied and maintained every week or every couple of weeks or whatever it is um so i guess if i'm sticking by my original argument you should still respect their boundaries but i would be completely lying to you if i said i've never used a dumpster that i've passed yesterday i had some napkins in my pocket that's right dirty napkins and i threw them in a dumpster that was outside of a business

so maybe i'm not following my own rules but also dumpsters are emptied by those giant trucks I feel like it's way less gross Like I would even throw, again I would try to tie it up Tightly, but I would throw a dog poop bag Into a dumpster potentially Because the human interaction is limited with that

Although I would say that my garbage bins Are emptied by giant trucks too They're not like picking them up by hand It's more the week that I have That I have inherited your poop What do you think of this, David? I have one other person who wants to weigh in with a proposal Kind of a middle ground But what do you think of this as somebody who's going uh taking your dog on walks a lot well i have a lot of thoughts i think for one uh

talking about sort of the difference of public dumpsters versus a private sort of trash can um it's when it when it comes to a public dumpster i don't think you need to feel any uh any stress about that necessarily like people are getting paid actually like a pretty good sum of money if you're a waste management employee to come and do that as a food service worker i have taken out a lot of trashes and sometimes they have dog poop in them and you just wear gloves you wash your hands it's not a huge deal um so don't like feel bad for the person if they have to empty a dumpster

that has a uh because when you're at work you have a different mentality yeah you're just like

all right i'll just take a shower when i get home or whatever it's it's not a huge deal um but i will say as a person with a dog um i'm not saying i haven't ever thrown the uh poop into a public medical waste or into someone's trash bin um that they have at the end of their driveway though i've only done that a couple of times and that was sort of early on when we had penny we've had penny for about a year uh alicia and i and we are our sort of uh methods have changed over time we started off um looking for wherever the nearest trash or dumpster was um and but now i've come to the uh to the method of bringing just like a drawstring bag with me um like one of those crown royal bag

Yes.

just just like one of those really cheap sort of like drawstring vinyl kind of bags which you can wash in the in the clothes washer uh and with that bag i carry you know a water bottle and maybe a water bowl four penny and in that bag that bag i'm not precious about the bag um if she poops and i pick up the poop bag i don't necessarily the whole thing is you don't want to hold it in your hand while you're walking or for me while i'm running with her and i'll just put it in the drawstring bag and i don't understand why that's such a huge issue i like drawstring bags are like five bucks if you have a dog get one and then it's you just put the the poop's already in a bag you put it in the drawstring bag then you don't have to hold on to it you're not actively able to smell it then you just hold on to it until you get to a you know an adequate uh trash or dumpster um that you're able to sort of safely throw it away in um but i understand it took me a while to get to that resolution um but now now that i have come to that resolution it seems like the most obvious thing it's like it it's not a it's like wearing a mask not to you political but do you let penny if you're like in a wooded area let's say you guys are on a hike and pennies off in like the very like not the trail but just like the tall whatever grass foliage and she loves that and she drops a deuce do you pick that up because when rudy would do that i used to call it the perfect crime i mean i would literally say out loud the perfect crime it's sort of uh a like if if i'm able to see her doing it and i see where she's doing it then the jig is up and i have to go pick it up because but if i can't even see her in the bushes and she's out do if whatever she's doing there she can do her business i'm not gonna go about her about that but like we were we went to the coast yesterday um i saw on insta uh which was super fun it was like completely empty beach on our sort of like trail out to the coast um she pooped and it was the type of thing it was on the sand maybe in our first few months of having her it might have been like well it might be easier to just like sort of bury it in sand but now that i have this like just a little nap yeah you just have a little drawstring bag and you just put the bag in there i completely forgot about until we got back to the car and i saw the dumpsters and i was like oh now i can throw this away it's like are

you jogging are you running and jogging with that bag too um if i am yeah if i'm on a jog with her

then i will be um it's manageable yeah i guess yeah it's i guess it's like bouncing around a little bit it's gross if you start thinking about no no i just wasn't sure from a running perspective

if it was unwieldy was my point, not the grossest.

No, when you're jogging with a dog who's like a crazy blue heeler, you're just focused on holding onto that leash because she's just going crazy. The knapsack is the least of your worries at that point. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to stay on my feet and not have her pull me off my feet Marmaduke style. Marmaduke? No! Didn't you say there was another V-mail about this?

Yeah, let me drop this on you guys.

Hello, my garbage anxiety brethren. This is Anna, one of the few Annas in Seattle. And today's show, I know you were discussing the is throwing your poop bag, your dog's poop bag, I should clarify, into an empty garbage can, right or wrong?

Medical waste.

I kind of am on the side of wrong simply because my garbage can during the week sits in my backyard next to my deck. and I have a really sensitive smell. And I've noticed that when someone has thrown a poop bag in the garbage can, I don't even have to open it to know it's there. I can smell it. So that just means if it's an empty can, then it sits there all week with the poop smell emanating throughout the yard. But at the same time, I really sympathize with the dog walker having to carry a bag. I mean, you know, you go take your dog on an hour-long walk, and 10 minutes in, they poop. Now you've got to carry that bag for 50 minutes. Nobody wants to do that. Well, seeing as we're here in Seattle, about every block or so, you see one of those free little libraries, or is it Little Free Library? However it is. What? This takes a turn. You need to develop free little garbage cans so that it could be within your block. you put up kind of a garbage can preferably lidded like on one of those posts like you see near the bus stop and then you take turns changing out the bag i would even adopt my blocks and then people can throw it in a one place if people got used to seeing them and then you know when the bag gets full one whoever is taking ownership of it for that

week or that month or maybe just totally changes out the bag it all gets thrown away around garbage time and the problem solved so i guess i just need to tell a lot of people to do that and first they need to figure out how to build the garbage can on the post well there's some thinking to do

power out anyway i like i definitely like the idea here like again i sound like such a grinch about this stuff but the truth is like i wouldn't mind helping out in some sort of deliberate way It is just that I feel like – and again, I think this goes back to me being a kid who was maybe bullied and taken advantage of. But I feel like I'm being taken advantage of when somebody just like blithely throws – am I using blithely correctly? Just casually throws their dog poop away in my can and just thinks, oh, that's somebody else's problem now.

Well, first of all, I thought that listener Anna was initially proposing you just put the poop in the little free library. Just smash it in one of the books in there. I hate books. You've taken something beautiful and made it so bad, but I, I, I think it's a genius idea actually. And I, but I hear what you're saying, Andrew, which is, and this goes back to kind of what David was talking about, which is, it's just a mentality thing when we're at work. And I've had plenty of labor jobs in my life where you're at work and you're wearing, you know, gloves and protective gear and you're just stuff like that is so much less bothersome. And even if it was like, okay, once a week, I would probably do that in this neighborhood. if it was like once a week or maybe the rotation is once a month it's on me to go to this one place do this gross thing for five minutes of emptying this thing out and i'm wearing a mask and whatever and if it meant there was not going to be any dog poop around like if you just are psyched up for it it's like no big deal what's not fun is when you're just trying to live your life and you're like you are or like listener anna is she's just trying to bring her garbage can back to buy her deck where she wants to relax and then you have the smell of dog poop wafting it's all about kind

of like what your expectation is going into the moment yeah no i i agree with that assessment so i think we did some good work here as far as this conversation we really did declared japanese

breakfast be sweet to me as the greatest song of all time which we're not allowed to listen to

anymore we'll play it one more time at the end of the show if that's okay and that'll be oh i like

it that's a good we retire it then that's i did have a uh a song suggestion for the end of the show okay uh not that we shouldn't play japanese breakfast but just like um people kind of heard I don't know what times I feel like on the show. You've really painted us into a tight corner here.

David's really backseat driving. I know. Okay, any other – I can't even know you guys about it.

His old radio producer days are coming back.

Any other programming notes? Anything else you'd like to change? Move top stories earlier?

Hey, David, have you had a chance to do the cybersecurity training yet? Now that you work here?

Start paying me, and I will. But – What song? So it's called Last Days of Summer. It's by this group, The Blue Hawaiians, which I'm not sure what era they're from. There's no vocals in the song. It's just like a very nice, chill, like it's almost like Krongbini guitar. Very sort of twangy and dreamy. And it just popped up in one of my suggested Apple Music playlists. I know it's heresy to talk about Apple Music because you guys are the Spotify bros now.

how did you know that that's our new branding

we've been trying to extend the brand

by the way there's all of these podcasts now including Armchair Expert the Dax Shepard podcast that are just switching over from Apple podcasts to Spotify exclusive podcasts I just saw a piece in the New York don't you guys ever do that no one's offering us any money

The good news is this remains a very boutique product. Actually, there was an interesting article, I want to say, in the New York Times. I forget where it was, but the question was, did Joe Rogan actually make a mistake? Or did Joe Rogan kind of—he got like $120 million to go to Spotify, but also there's all these kind of engagement things that are now down for him because he's behind a paywall, effectively. And the question of the article was, did he actually get underpaid? Wow. Which is insane to think that $120 million would be underpaid. But if now he has less reach and less influence because he's behind the Spotify paywall, maybe he should have charged them more. Although, I mean, how much HGH can you buy? I mean, how much does one need?

Freedom, and there's a lot of stuff to buy.

A lot to vary. Yeah, right. The Blue Hawaiians are a surf rock group from Los Angeles formed in 1994 to play at the opening of their friend Michelle's Club, the Lava Lounge. Oh, I used to love the Lava Lounge. They rose to fame soon thereafter due to the rise of one of their earliest fans, Quentin Tarantino, and an appearance on the soundtrack of the TV show Friends. Really? In the 1996 film Sex. The 1996 film Sex.

They also, let's see The band has done music for Spongebob Squarepants And they had a song that was in a guest jeans ad Okay, and this is the last days of summer right here The Blue Hawaiians Alright, well listen, Davey, thank you again For all your help on this We'll see you for No Point Conversion And other such delights Andrew, thank you, my friend Just for being you And thanks everyone for listening We'll be back tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you Until then, have a great Tuesday take care of yourselves be sweet to me and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

Thank you.

Hey, guys. This is Jenny calling from Seattle. Just wanted to follow up on poop talk. I had something that I thought might – sorry, that is said dog in the background. Something to, you know, I don't know, reach across the aisle, reach across the trash can, something like that. Wow, sorry. The dog is really distracting. and we're outside on our way into dog class. So I have in the past, you know, thrown dog bags. Okay, I'm sorry. I can't do this. We'll call back later. Power out.