Muse

Hi! Oh my god, how's your first red carpet? I can't believe they put you all the way out here for this. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Nice to meet you. I'm Chase Dream's manager. Yeah, no, we met last week. We had a full meal together. Oh, gay brother and girl sister. Oh, you guys aren't getting married, are you? Because that would be bad optics for this guy right here. Although, love is love is love is love, as Linda Manuel once said. It's Lin-Manuel Miranda. Lin-Manuel? Who's Linda Manuel then? And why do I represent her?

Um, it's, uh, people who identify as nerdy, rapping about the things they love, video games, science fiction, having a hard time meeting romantic partners.

Losers, in other words. Well, two things. First, FYI, I found out it's free sausage night tonight at the Waffle Place. All you can eat.

it's the constitution it's mabo it's justice it's law it's the vibe and uh no that's it it's the vibe so what if i smell like roast beef this whole place smells like roast beef sooner or later

gentlemen you will eat your words you can't be that overly confident remember baby never you

might eat that mic all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I can't believe you're still on the air. Coming to you from the shores of Cain Island, also known as Katy, Texas, where it is already, oh, I don't know, 95 degrees and 195% humidity.

It's going to be very hot. It's going to be very uncomfortable for everybody.

I have to turn the air conditioning off in this hotel room so as to record the show with y'all leaning into my Texas-ness. I have been using y'all so much the last two days. If Andrew were here with me, he would be mortified. But I'd have to turn the AC off because it's very loud in this room. And so I'm going to try to make it through the next hour, but I will tell you, it is very spicy down here. Excuse me. In Texas. Speaking of let the fun begin. Spicy things. I'm down here doing a TV story about a I mean, it's you could call it a gas station, but that's almost misleading. It's called Bucky's. If you're from Texas or other parts of the South, you're probably well familiar. They are these travel centers. They do sell gas. But, man, they got all kinds of stuff going on in there. And, yeah, that's what I'm down here talking about. Now, I don't eat meat anymore, typically. But part of this Bucky's Place's claim to fame is that they have very good barbecue. And so today it was scheduled for me in the early morning to hang out with the barbecue master of the place, The guy who does all the barbecue recipes for all 42 of these gas stations. And so, yeah, I did. I ate a lot of red meat today.

I have a crazy friend who says it's wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?

So I guess that's another thing we'll be dealing with throughout the show. How does Luke's body respond to eating red meat for the first time in however many years? And not an insignificant amount of it. So we'll get into that. Also, oh, it is the 21st of September today, which is the day that Demi Adigi Ebay drops his amazingly complicated and entertaining version of the Earth, Wind & Fire song, September. I've been waiting for this moment for months, and it's finally here. He actually puts it on the internet. I avoided saying drops there because I don't think I'm cool enough to say it drops at this time. But it was supposed to go on the Internet at 921 a.m. See, 921. See what it did there? 921 a.m. West Coast time. And I was all excited because we have now actually gone past that. But it's taking forever for some reason. And Demi is on Twitter calming everyone down. He says the upload is taking a little bit of time. But just be patient, babies, is literally what he said. So as soon as that thing is up, maybe even during the show, we'll watch it and talk about it. Because I love those things. Oh, and speaking of high-profile events, we got a name drop, a name check on a major cable television show. Oh, hey, y'all said my name. Last night. I'm sure you can't even possibly guess which show we're talking about. It wasn't Sean Hannity. So you can rule that one out.

But anyway, it turns out there are a lot of viewers of this television show because we heard from a lot of people about it. So we'll play the tape on that. Oh, and we've been talking a lot about meat this morning. We've got to welcome this guy to the show. He is the Miami Meat Tent. He's also the longest-running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Believe it or not, I actually want to hear about your tummy and how it's feeling right now. I've been thinking about that all morning before you even alluded to it because I knew you were eating meat today. But just really, really quick aside, this has nothing to do with anything. I just saw something that I find kind of funny. A listener emailed, and I just think it's funny because, like, E stands for electronic. You know, it's like mail that you used to get in the mailbox, but it's funny because it's email. Now, somebody's coming to town and they want to visit Teddy's. And so they sent me a link to the Teddy's website and said, is this your Teddy's? And before I clicked on it, I see it's Teddy's Seattle dot com. But I see that in the little description, you know, the email system kind of when you put a link in there, it'll give you a little preview of what you're about to see. And it says Teddy's Tavern voted best sports bar in Seattle. I almost didn't click on it and wrote, no, no, no. Teddy's is not a sports bar but I did click on it and it is true on Teddy's the bar that I frequent in my little neighborhood their website which is you know kind of janky but a bar like that doesn't need a good website the very first line is Teddy's Tavern voted best sports bar in Seattle first of all I would never ever describe Teddy's as a sports bar and also who voted that when like what was

what was the vote what are you talking about person at pugetsoundbroadcasting.com who has been carefully collecting up uh yours and my our professional histories and is documenting is that

the same person my new favorite my new favorite website that i'd already forgotten about about 24 hours later anyway that wasn't very interesting and certainly not interesting if you haven't been in there but it's just so not a sports bar yes they have tvs and yes i watch my mariners games there and they'll play you know they do have sports on but does that make it a sports bar

doesn't feel like a sports bar i feel like sports bar is such a kind of catch-all term um i mean and also maybe when when they were claiming to be a sports bar it was before the rise of the very actually specifically sporty sports bar where it's like you know like there's bleachers down there in columbia city i think where they like literally the floors are made out of old like basketball floors from like some actual basketball court and you go in and sometimes the employees are wearing, you know, like they have jerseys or ref outfits or what have you. Like there was a time where probably any bar where they had the game on a TV was kind of considered just loosely to be a sports bar. But now there's just everything is, I'm sure, well, I went to this one that was walking distance from my hotel on Sunday, which was, boy, between sitting in a place called Scholars and Scoundrels, where they had a huge Don't Tread on Me flag, and I was the only person in a mask, and the Seahawks losing in overtime. It was an intense experience on that Sunday, but that's a place that very much puts itself out there as a sports bar. What I really want to ask, though, is what is Teddy's website?

It is teddysseattle.com. This is my first trip on it. nope just one word teddies seattle.com because i thought for a minute because i i tried teddy

seattle i might have mistyped it into my iphone i didn't get anything and i thought maybe they have just teddies.com and then i thought wow they jumped on that train early i bet you if you owned teddies.com uh you'd really have something i would probably just sell it to a teddy bear

manufacturer or something i wasn't sure teddy roosevelt i what about um is it do they still Okay, just in case anybody's wondering, yes, I'm a very old man, but do they still call lingerie teddies? Yes, a teddy, maybe.

Do you have your Facebook creeper glasses on right now as you're saying this?

Right. Does that not – I feel like somehow in the era of like Murder, She Wrote or Columbo, they might refer to lingerie as a teddy, but I don't know if that's still a going concern.

I don't I mean I don't play in the lingerie space maybe as much as I I wish I did but I I certainly don't remember hearing anyone refer to it in any serious conversation as a teddy but I know what you mean it was like in those 80s tv shows when somebody wanted to be uh sexy they might go out and and get what we were told was called a teddy uh which was just a nightgown But, you know, kind of a slightly risque one, I guess. My intention, and I forgot. forgot this last night when I was getting we'll talk about it later and I actually haven't even heard the tape yet but last night when I started getting text messages from friends saying well I guess we haven't identified the person yet but a certain well we know it's not Sean Hannity a certain non Sean Hannity cable personality mentioned your podcast on the show a second ago and I started getting some messages from people around the country which was very exciting news for me um i had a mental note oh gotta start the show with something really compelling uh tomorrow and i totally forgot about that when i started talking about the website of the local bar around the corner i don't feel i don't feel like i've started in the most relatable place however breaking news teddies.com is available what you and i go listen uh should you buy it before this

actually hits the internet and someone else has sniped it from us it's t-e-d-d-y-s dot com

is apparently it's when you go there it's a totally blank page and with just like simple text that says sponsor link and then a link to something that says diamond buyers but it's just

like it looks like you know it's just well somebody's parked on there though what you have to do yeah is go to one of those websites uh that is a url registration and then you put that in and And if they tell you it's available, you can just buy it. Or they tell you someone has it and they want this amount of money for it. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. It's not open, but it's not being used for anything exciting.

It's just not being used by some kind of four-foot-six pile of awesome. Right, right. Boy, it does kind of make me want to get into the lingerie business with you, though. But we can talk about that another time.

I can just see our online lingerie business just really taking off. I mean, that's why we have tbtl.net and not tbtl.com. Because when this show started, lo those many years ago, tbtl.com was owned by somebody, I think, in Australia, and they wanted like $3,000 for it. And, I mean, I actually still wouldn't pay that much for it, but it definitely seemed prohibitively expensive then.

Oh, yeah.

And so I was like, well, we're just going to have to be okay with .NET. I am still waiting, and we're taking the show from a somewhat unrelatable area to a deeply unrelatable area of topicality, URLs. I still feel, I have to say, a little weird about these new URLs that are like .pizza, or there's one that's .xyz. And it's strange because I feel like I'm very much trapped in the box and thinking in a very box-like fashion instead of getting outside the box. because com, .com makes sense to me, .net, you can take it, .org, that's a fine brand, but .anything else, .biz is like a go-to joke for me. Like, I'm wondering at what point, or will we ever fully get used to or do the switchover to where something being – I'm thinking of it because I was doing Livewire yesterday, at least some parts of Livewire, and one of the guests on the show, their website is their name, and then it's .xyz. Which I'd never, never even seen. And it had me kind of wondering if that, like, will we ever, will that ever just seem normal to us?

I was on one this weekend, Luke. That was a dot club. I don't know what that means. I don't want to say exactly what the website is because it's filthy. I mean, it's just a lot of people wearing teddies. No.

it's a live it's just a live cam with no sound of just a warehouse and just people of of all ages shapes sizes genders you name it the only through line is everyone's in a teddy just wandering

around having wandering around the warehouse space just talking yeah and it's it's all shot from yeah like kind of uh like a security cam security like one of the corner kind of yeah it's very no you know why i don't want to say what it was club now is that one available Well, let's find out. Honestly, and I'm admitting something here, but I don't want to give the actual website away because I don't know legally if I should. But let's just say you live in a certain market, but your football team that you root for plays in a different market. There are websites out there that you can find. But your whole team is wearing teddies. Yes, it is true.

And I'm not going to lie to you. Miles Garrett looks amazing in one. I mean, you haven't seen a Teddy really properly rocked until you've seen Miles Garrett in it. The weird thing is, is you're joking, but it's also got to be true. Oh, 100%. I mean, put any piece of clothing on Miles Garrett and you're like, well, that looks better than it did on anybody else. He's my guy. How's your tummy? My tummy is actually OK. I, you know, I may have when I sent you the show sheet this morning. So I'm a couple hours ahead of you. And because of the timing of this whole thing, we needed to film kind of early in the morning. So I was up early. And I sent you the show sheet and I wrote.

I was just anticipating. I said, Luke just got done eating about one year's worth of meat in one hour. And that was maybe slightly overstating it. Because they had a big spread for me. But it wasn't like you got to eat all of this and then we put a picture of you on the wall. It was like try a bite of this, try a bite of that. So I think truthfully I had probably – one, two, three. I had four bites of meat today. I had something called a collage, which is kind of a check. Your chuchas may have made this at some point. It's kind of like a hot dog in a pastry, kind of like a pig in a blanket, but a little bit maybe more upscale.

I have only had the little ones, like little pigs in the blanket that are made out of half a hot dog and a crescent roll, but that sounds delicious.

This is sort of a version. Yeah, jalapeno cheese collage, which they're big down here. interestingly enough a lot of texas um was ended up being populated eventually by a lot of germans and czechs and folks from eastern europe which is why you get a lot of the names you know new berlin out here new brownfells like there's all i think i'm saying that wrong it looks like brownfells but everyone's been saying it slightly differently there's a lot of eastern european influence down here along with obviously mexican influence etc but uh so i had one of the i had a bite of that i had a bite of a brisket taco or a brick brisket breakfast burrito i know that's a lot of bees dude and then i had a bite of a chopped brisket sandwich and i think that was it for the meat so it was not in like an an overwhelming amount of meat and i think the last time i had meat was last year around this time i was doing a story about uh super bowl food and i ate a chicken wing because it had been cooked for me also by the way in texas i have a a relationship with meat that is i can only eat it in the state of texas apparently but um it you know i mean i have to be honest with you the first bite of that brisket taco i keep calling it a taco but it was like a burrito i don't know if that matters to people but it's like the idea is you would order in the morning for breakfast right that first bite was really good like i am not a person who doesn't eat meat because i don't think meat tastes good like brisket tastes very good to me it's you know for i don't personally want to be on a you know daily basis contributing to what i think of as the misery of animals now you could really ask the question and i don't think it would be inappropriate to ask the question why was today a day i'd believe that it was okay to deal in that immorality and i guess it's just i would rather fit in than be a hassle is really what it comes down to i mean the the the actual kind of math i was doing was the reason i don't eat meat is because i just don't think that we treat a lot of the animals on this planet very well and i don't want to like i don't want to contribute to that but also if i don't do this one part of the shoot It makes the story maybe less interesting, and it's one day out of my year, and I will, you know, go back to not eating meat. And so I'm still in the aggregate. I am still reducing my personal impact on something that I don't feel great about. But I could also see someone saying, well, are you or are you not a vegetarian? You're just like a meat eater who just does it very infrequently, which is maybe a more accurate way to describe me.

Well, you're doing it for you, though. I mean, I think that's where I mean, OK, yeah, you have a public platform here and you and I talk about these things, but I don't think that you need to shoulder all of the weight of. I'm looking for a word other than activism, because that's not what I mean, but like what you know, various people are not eating meat for various reasons. And for some of them, it is it's part of the message that they want to spread and get people to stop eating meat. I don't think you've ever done that before, ever said, like, that's why you're doing it. you're just sure you're just I have never your own journey and some things yeah I'm also I'm a meat eater so you know like I certainly wouldn't be preaching anything but I just think that like whatever your journey is is like you know be honest with yourself and then you come on this show and then you're honest with us about your journey and I think that's fine I just think that you would get into trouble if you start you know finger wagging others or or you know doing that kind of thing and then being a hypocrite but I don't think that you've blazed that path for

yourself no i mean i hope anyway i don't have any memory of trying to weigh in on what i think other people should be eating um because you can also i'm sure that you could even you know on a typical day when i don't eat any meat you could trace so many of my food decisions back to their source and say well why are you eating cheese that's not a great sitch for some of those animals or why are you wearing that piece of clothing or why are you driving that car that burns fossil fuels like i I definitely am trying to be very... clear that this is not me telling anyone how to live their life. It's just my little thing I'm doing, which again, which I guess does, does also mean that I can, if I choose to like for a job thing, you know, have four bites of meat. It's like, you know, I guess I sort of have the right to make that decision too, without being overly hypocritical, as long as I'm not trying to tell other people how to live, which I definitely am not. I wouldn't be surprised though, if we have

listeners who have dedicated maybe more energy and more of their life to not eating meat who will see, you know, if you've said before that you were thinking about, hey, you might not be a vegetarian your entire life. And that's totally your prerogative, right? But I do feel there's might be a clubbiness there when somebody says, I'm a vegetarian. Now I've turned, you know, I've recently become a vegetarian. I think maybe other people who feel strongly about it might feel like oh good another another member of the club teddies.club um and so you may be saying hey listen maybe there's a time i might eat meat again it might disappoint some people but you also that's not your problem though you know what i mean like just don't be a hypocrite right and if i were

someone who we have listeners who are vegan and they're very like like it's a big part of their daily practice and their daily consideration to just try to tread as lightly as they can and that person came to me and said hey i really think you should not ever eat any meat or wear any leather i don't really think i own it i don't really see myself as a leather jacket kind of dude but if somebody who was really walking the walk came up to me and said hey this is why i think there's a compelling case for you changing your behaviors i would listen to them i don't know if i would do it but i would feel like that's a valid that's valid coming from them it's not it would never be valid coming from me not just because i ate four bites of meat today but because i'm just that's just not my relationship with it i just am i just don't eat meat you know what i mean but i'm not like there's a lot of other ways that i could be more careful or should be more

careful so and there are there are a million things i think in my life that somebody could come up to me and say you should change your behavior for ethical reasons i mean eating meat is one um watching football and just participating and helping the football the nfl economy i think that there's a lot of compelling reasons why i shouldn't do that eating meat while illegally streaming where's that fall illegally streaming morality scale illegally streaming it might put me on the right side of history yes there you go you're stealing some you're stealing money back

from this from this terrible organization how do you feel about shopping amazon i wanted to say is

another one too that i mean there are things in my life where somebody could come up to me and say like you should do that and i should listen to them but it doesn't necessarily mean that i i will I mean, sometimes you just got to say, yeah, I know I'm kind of a I'm kind of making some bad decisions here.

Yeah. Amazon's a big one for me in that I I know that it is not making the world a better place in a lot of different ways. And yet I also find the convenience to just be so seductive that I find myself. I tried. I'm trying to not buy things on Amazon that I can get locally. I really am trying to do that, but there are still times when I slip or I'm like literally drunk. That's a thing, which will be like, you know, a few, a few drinks in. And then I start thinking, huh, I wonder what the coolest version of this is. And then I start poking around and it just almost invariably ends up driving you to Amazon. But, but yeah, that's one that I have. I know in my mind that I should try to interact with it as sparingly as possible, but I probably do that a little bit more than I should. How do you feel about standing in the middle of a convenience store and yelling at the top of your lungs, fresh brisket on the board? How do you feel about doing that? Because that's what I just spent about two hours doing, and it was definitely not embarrassing.

So there's a performative aspect of them selling meat in a gas station. They yell, fresh brisket on the board, and then they wanted you to do it for the cameras. They don't say board. You say board. Well, I don't. That's why I don't have the job. But that's something that they yell usually And then you're there with the camera

So they asked you to do it They're filming me Okay, so I'm going to send you a picture later, Andrew Which, to take you into the Hawk Squad world a little bit My niece Maddie was, as she often is Because she's a very talented performer She was cast as the lead in her school play My sister Hannah was telling us about that Well, I had a picture that I sent to them Taken in this Buc-ee's Where I'm in a cowboy hat And an apron and i said well i was cast in a live action reboot of toy story as so we all have good news on this tuesday morning i will send you this picture andrew i mean not only were we filming it but i was geared up and helping cut this brisket and do this kind of yelling thing where you have to yeah it's a very very enormous it's like a 53 000 square foot gas station and uh and so the the guy who was the guy randy who was kind of um taking me through everything he has trained the folks that work in this uh kind of barbecue area of the store to have yeah kind of almost like pike place market you know like when they're throwing the fish it's kind of got that thing going and you know me uh this this is a way i think that you and i are very similar in as much as much as i will actually i don't know if this describes you andrew but for me anyway it's weird i i desperately crave people's attention and approval and i also very much don't feel comfortable calling attention to myself in certain ways it's like all attention is not created equal uh as far as how it kind of makes me feel and so it started with they set up this whole elaborate like meat table with all this different stuff and cupcakes and puddings and everything everything they sell in the store you know they wanted me to do a taste test on and that's right when you walk into the store so they had set up all these tv lights there's all these cameras there's crew keeping everyone clear and then i'm just there talking to him and it's literally at the exact point of entry for the store so every single person who comes in stops goes huh i wonder what this is maybe gets out their cell phone and takes a picture or whatever and just that you know that's the kind of what i noticed was it bothered me way less than it used to like it almost didn't even bother me at all i was like well i mean i'm doing a tv thing and this is what i do and we're standing here now so that was sort of okay although i noted that it like five years ago i guess maybe because yesterday we were talking about your time on moderating a city of burien sort of political conversation and how that really kind of like uh sticks in your mind as something that that made you feel uncomfortable or you feel uncomfortable thinking about and for me it's like any time when i am somewhere doing something like this where people are noticing me and it makes it seem like i think i am hot shit or something like that makes me just feel so uncomfortable generally but i didn't feel that uncomfortable today i was just like whatever we're just doing this then i put on the apron and the cowboy hat

and we go over to where they actually like cut up this brisket and they're like okay you know this is the bit we're gonna have luke like try to cut some of this brisket because he doesn't know how to do it i call these luke fails it's in a lot of these tv stories it's where i try to do something and i'm bad at it that's kind of the shtick well i start cutting this brisket up and he goes whoa you got to do the you got to do the yell and so he's like tells me what i got to yell and he had already done it a few times and i had kind of gotten away with not actually doing the yell but just kind of quietly mouthing it along because it's a call and response you say fresh brisket on the board and then everyone working there says fresh brisket on the board but a little

quieter so i was a little confused i thought when the brisket is ready it means it's going up on the menu board but the board is the cutting board it's a giant cutting board yeah so i had i had

already seen this happen i was already internally feeling a little self-conscious because that's how i'm wired but i was but i was able to just kind of get away with just like after the guy yells it really loud everyone else says fresh brisket on the board they kind of repeat it so i was in a chorus of like 10 people so it was not the attention was not as directly on me right then it's my turn to cut some of this brisket up and then it's like oh well wait you got to do the yell and there and also the cameraman readjusts hold on let me get back let me get in the right position for this so now it's a thing because they're filming me this is now part of the bit they're now filming me yelling fresh brisket on the board and i just have this moment where i'm like if i just kind of wanly say it if i just kind of go fresh brisk if i try to say it quiet enough that it won't draw any attention that's almost worse than just going for it so i just like i just like astrally project myself out of my body i just go remote view with barbara uh linda how i just go go off to some other place in the universe and leave my body and then i just scream at the top of my lungs fresh brisket on the board it's like so loud that i'm overdriving the sound guys sound the dude who's training me is is surprised everyone everyone in the store stops what they're doing because it was like the loudest yell of this of all time and it was kind of empowering because i didn't really want to do it it made me feel embarrassed and i just did it and then it was like fine i survived it sounds a little bit like you always say that if i ever get

into a fight good luck to the other person exactly i've been building it up for so long that if the moment comes i'll just have to have all this pent-up energy and like your pent-up energy was not wanting to do this kind of stuff or not doing this kind of stuff for years and years and years and so then when you did it you just like you're like well it's got to be big you know it rattled the windows i you know i was thinking like that that whole thing sounds awful to me not even just from your perspective of somebody who had to do it as a cbs correspondent i just mean i i just even i couldn't even be a customer in that store without like my eyes rolling so far back in my head that I would have to leave I think I I do not like yelling I do I was actually thinking about this one time like

I don't think I could do any job that would that would require any kind of yelling. And that like that includes barista, I think, you know, like I'm in my head always thinking like, well, eventually I'm going to get fired. I'm going to have to just like find a job until I find my next career job. Right. And I'm always wondering what that's going to be. And I always think, could I could I learn to be a barista at this late stages in my life? And I think, yeah, I mean, I could I could do all those things and probably have to, you know, be less precious about puttering around the kitchen and really, you know, get those orders out. I think it'd be challenging, but I could do it. But then when it's time to yell, Sabrina, order up, I'd be like, I quit. Like I just do not think I could or like we're talking about tour like tour boat operators yesterday. Anything where you got to be like just kind of like the only one performing while everybody else is just just going about their daily business in some way or another. I just can't do it. I can't I can't do yelly jobs. You know, the one that gets me.

I dread having to give a verbal confirmation that I am willing to do what I need to do to be in the exit row of the airplane. I, you know, they'll be going around the horn with that and they're getting to me and I'm getting progressively more nervous about saying yes, it really stresses me out, which is, which is wild. I should say, which is wild, Andrew, considering what kind of work we do and what kind of work I do. There's something about that. Like, is my voice going to sound weird? Am I going to not sound forceful? Am I going to sound too forceful? Is my voice going to crack? What, like, there is something about that level of performance that just stresses me out. Much like if I were in a coffee shop where everybody was working on their computers and I needed to call Sabrina's name, that would stress me the hell out.

Yes. That's why when I'm in that row, the exit row, my response is always, you know it, baby. And I give this finger guns. You've got to lean into it.

Take the fear and harness it. And also, you don't need to worry about your backup job when we get fired from this because we are going to have the very lucrative lingerie concern, teddies.club. So we're pretty much on easy street from here on out. Luke and Andrew and Teddies.

That'll be the name of the company.

We've got to take a quick break But when we come back We will do the donors of the day And we'll tell you about our ship coming in On a still as yet unnamed Evening News program that we were mentioned on last night So stay with us here on tbtl.club

Thank you baby

All right, let's thank some donors of the day. These are the folks who are making the episode that we have arrived at, episode 3,515 in a collector series. They're making it possible. People like Melisand, Echinique of Staten Island, New York. Melly! Hey, we said that at the same time. Is it? You know what? I've only said Melisand's last name probably ten times just in donor of the day messages, And, of course, I've met Melly many times with a lovely person.

Would you say Econique or Echenique? I think I'd say Econique. You know, that is interesting. Melly's been a listener and a member of the TBTL community for so long now. And I see that last name all the time. In fact, Melly just sent a really nice text message the other day about something she heard on the show. And I never responded. Sorry about that, Melly. But thank you for the kind words. And it's funny, as many times as I see it, it's like somehow it's like seeing a radio person for the first time. And you're like, I had an image of you in my head, but I don't know what it was exactly. But it wasn't what I'm seeing right here. Like somehow whenever I see her name, I'm like, yeah, those two names go together perfectly. But I never have said it out loud. So when you just said it out loud, I was like, yeah, I have no idea the proper pronunciation on that. I don't think that was the cleanest analogy.

Did you follow that at all? Yeah, I did. I know exactly what you're talking about And Melly, it's just all we need is Ten more years of you supporting the show And maybe five more meetups Somewhere in New York City And then we will finally know how to say your name But thank you so much for being such an awesome Part of our world We really appreciate you Also Robert Peacock is in Portland, Oregon Now that one's Peacook Bob Peacock I don't know if that's how Robert likes to be addressed But man, that's a solid name Yeah, it is that is a that's somebody who is really going places i feel like a tv personality in some way

well probably on nbc right i mean you kind of have to be you're not going to get hired by cbs

with the last name like peacock no you're just at that point you're just doing free advertising for I feel like you could also own a very successful line of car dealerships. Oh, yeah. Come on down to Bob Peacock Nissan, where right now we've got low interest rates and APR. Is APR a car thing, or is that – is APR only – yeah, APR is for cars. I think so.

Yeah, yeah, if you're –

MSRP, that's also for cars. Yeah. Bob knows about all of it. Yeah. And he knows about supporting TBTL. Thank you, Robert. Again, I'm sorry, Robert, if you've not gone down the Bob path. You're like, hey, guys, I gave you money and also listed my name as Robert. maybe you want to stick with that um patricia roe is in seattle washington thank you patricia for supporting the program matthew thomas is out there in denver colorado in the shadow of lucifer i don't i don't know if i said this i know i tweeted it and i probably brought it up you know the next day on this podcast but i was in colorado for work a month or so ago and anytime i travel in and out of denver i am shocked anew at the remoteness of the denver airport speaking of blucifer like and i think my joke was that the denver airport is somehow 11 miles from the denver airport it's just i've just never experienced something like it and i don't i mean it's typical that the airport of a city will be a little bit outside the city because they need a lot of land and the planes can be loud and the you know rental car shuttle facilities it's a lot um i am always a fan of a airport that's in a city like in san diego where you just i mean that's just right there it's like on the water it's like you gotta the plane has to swerve to not hit like a holiday inn uh in san diego but i like that because it just means that i don't have to go way far outside of the city but anyway the one in denver is it is like it doesn't even feel like you're in colorado anymore can i ask you a question yes this can't this can't

be right but you don't think that nikki menage's cousin's friend is blucifer do you because i think she specifically said that the friend is in trinidad so i guess that would that would eliminate blucifer but that's what i think because when i think of the of the swelling denver airport yes the anatomy of blucifer comes to mind very quickly is i you know what i've i've never I have never actually looked

South of Blucifer's wild eyes I'm up here Michael

I just

Blucifer'd myself Thank you Matthew I was drinking coffee you jerk Gerard Vow Gerard Vow In Sherbourne Massachusetts Thank you Gerard And again Give me 10 more tries and I'm going to get that last How would you say that last name, Vau maybe, V-A-I-O

I would say Vau Again, I think that I'm one of the most Unreliable narrators when it comes to this stuff But Vau sounds about right to me

Yes, thank you, Gerard, we appreciate you And then Allison Gamble Is in St. Paul, Minnesota

That's a beautiful part of the world It is, Allison Potentially rooting for the Vikings And that's fine

If you listened to yesterday's No Point, I said And I stand by it This week, we have the Seattle Seahawks playing the Minnesota Vikings, and I would very much like the Seahawks to win. But if we lose, I will take some comfort in the fact that my dear friends in Minnesota will have gotten a win for their football team.

Yes, exactly. If you had to lose to anybody, lose to Minnesota. I think that's on their license plates. It sure is.

The land of 1,000 lakes and then also turnover for more message. If you have to lose, lose to us. Opa! All right. Thanks for donating, everyone. We really appreciate you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Yeah, I was walking out of this gas station yesterday, Andrew, at I don't know what it was. It was like maybe 7 p.m. local time or something. It was, I guess, about the same time that our friend Chris Hayes was in the midst or just sort of partially through his television show All In with Chris Hayes. By the way, that's who mentioned us.

Oh, that makes sense now. You're like Lawrence O'Donnell. That makes sense.

Anderson Cooper. Steve from Blue's Clues.

Wait, he's back.

Hey, can we talk about the Blue's Clues thing really, really quickly? Yeah. Everybody was sending out that thing, that little message that Steve from Blue's Clues sent out. And I it it seemed to really touch America in a way that surprised me. And I think it's just like that is the generational cutoff for me. I had no connection at all. And people were really like flooding my inbox with that. And I didn't know what to say because I just had no connection. I think that is exactly that must be a very specific generational line.

i agree because uh i am a little bit old for blues clues um and so when i saw that going around i watched it and i mean i thought it was nice but for me if you didn't grow up if you didn't grow up watching that a lot and then feeling what clearly was for a lot of folks a sense of loss when suddenly this guy wasn't on the show anymore this character um i totally understand having a strong emotional reaction to it it just isn't something that i had experienced prior to that So it just didn't have that impact on me What was interesting was They had him on Colbert And this was I don't want to snatch negativity From the jaws of positivity But Fresh negativity on board

You've really opened the floodgates

I really have It's killing me to do this entire show At a normal speaking volume I want to be yelling it to everybody in this hotel but not to snap not to make this in any way a negative story but i kept seeing uh steve from blues clues surprises steve steven colbert and i was over this whole you know this whole um kind of video that he had recorded that then steven colbert was talking about and i believe what steven colbert said i eventually watched it after seeing that headline go around and around and around steve from blues clues surprises steven colbert on air and or even like surprises a teary steven colbert was what i believe the exact title was i was like wow that sounds pretty intense like steve colbert's getting emotional this guy kind of surprises him like wow that's an interesting unscripted moment well of course i watched it and it was completely scripted of course and that's completely fine i don't hold anyone at the steven colbert show uh responsible for this they did a very cute um an interesting bit where steven colbert comes on and he starts by sort of saying you know i'm not of the generation that watched blues clues but my kids did and i know that they this meant a lot to them and then he starts playing the video um uh from uh from the blues clues guy and then he starts getting more emotionally affected by it even though he starts off being sort of dismissive you know because it's a very nice message about just reconnecting with people and and things like that i mean it really is a very lovely video and so the bit is Colbert's getting kind of more emotionally involved in what he's watching until by the end he's in a kind of emotional state. But one that he's playing up for the camera because it's more fun that way. And then Steve from Blue's Clues comes out and gives him a hug in a way that in no universe would have been unscripted or unplanned. So he did not surprise Stephen Colbert. And to even call it a teary Stephen Colbert is a long stretch. Again, I don't blame the show for this, but it's just like the, you know, Kate McKinnon's epic character break on SNL is a big mood for us all. Right, right, right. And it's like— We know this. We know this, and we know this wasn't a character break. This was a very funny, well-constructed, planned bit, just like the Colbert thing was. Right. And I just get—I don't know why that grinds my gears so hard. I think it's because I sift through so much banal internet content on a given day just trying to find a couple topics for our show, none of which we get to, by the by. But just like – so I just – like if I see a headline that's like Steve from Blue's Clues surprises a teary Colbert on stage, I'm thinking, wow, well, that's got to be something. And then when what the actual thing is is so much different than what some headline writer at TMZ or E! News or whatever has written, I become irrationally annoyed by that.

I'm going to take a swing at this, and we should really just get back on topic because I'm already having a hard time expressing myself today more than usual. And I think I'm about to delve into some murky waters that I'm going to open my mouth. I'm not even sure what's going to come out. That was my blues name, by the way, when I was taking that class at the community college. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Murky Waters. I think Elvis stole a lot of your music, right? Anyway, I think it has something to do with, like, what is the truth and who are the truth tellers in society these days, right? Like, there's a huge issue with people just spreading misinformation in important ways right now, you know, and just, you know, politics, vaccine, all of this stuff. like kind of subjective truth is it's one of the biggest issues that we're facing right now I think as a people yes whether or not some dumb internet publication kind of lies and says that Stephen Colbert was surprised in something that was set up for an entertainment show is not really important in the grand scheme of things obviously but it taps into this frustration that you and I have of Just because we want something to be true Doesn't mean that we can just sort of wink and nod and live in a universe that doesn't actually exist you know like i think that the people who and they probably don't see them all these headlines that you're seeing right these clickbaity kinds of things the people who are writing those headlines who are tweeting those tweets who are writing those stories i don't even know if they consider themselves journalists you know and i don't consider myself a journalist anymore at one point i did and i treated that craft differently than what i do here those people are probably see themselves more as entertainers themselves like what do you do i write little stories about things that happen on TV and I entertain my readers with it but the thing is there is a responsibility to say truthfully what happened in real life this idea that even if it's just something silly like something that happened on SNL that is being quote-unquote reported as Kate McKinnon breaking when clearly it's not a break it's a bit it I think it just pushes buttons on you and me equally like we just let's just call things let's just try to maintain the truth line for a little bit in things that are important and are not important and i think for me

the world of important things that are being intentionally sort of lied about or misstated it's so troubling and it's so it's just so dark and you feel like there's no arguing with somebody who's putting out you know in incorrect information on facebook about the vaccine there's no arguing with that person because in my opinion it's not a fact-based argument with them it's an emotional argument like somebody who is somebody who puts a bad tweet out about the vaccine and breakthrough cases or whatever as a way of saying so therefore the vaccine doesn't matter we shouldn't mask up etc if you were to give them 50 statistical examples uh to the counter of what they're saying i i've never heard of someone going oh oh okay you know what good point my bad because they're not looking to actually have a conversation and actually learn more about the topic they are having an emotional response to what it feels to them like the government is trying to make them do something they don't want to do and they're looking for things that will they're reverse engineering these various data points and things like that there is a somebody in oregon in yam hill county which is pretty rural the i forget what this woman's position is there but she's in government and she was going around on facebook and other places just grossly lying about the number of breakthrough cases that were happening in yam hill county and the number of people who were hospitalized as a result of a breakthrough case i.e had been vaccinated but still got sick and her point about lying uh over these stats was to sort of make it seem as if the vaccine is totally and completely um superfluous like it doesn't even matter if you get so therefore we shouldn't have vaccine mandates since half the people in the er are actually already got vaccinated that's the crux of her argument right so the oregonian oregonian goes in and says well this is all the different examples of why you're wrong and of course she doesn't ever say she's wrong she just doubles down on it and continues to preach to her choir about it and i guess my point is i am never going to get that person to admit that they're lying about these covid stats but maybe i can get that person from e-news to admit that in fact kate mckinnon did not epically break and it is not a big mood for us because like it's almost like i want to take on these mistruths that don't matter just those I can get mad about because I can't even emotionally enter the space of thinking about the mistruths that

do matter. But I mean I guess the argument back and again I'm on board with you but I guess it's like our job is to get people to click on headlines and it's easier to get somebody to click on a headline or a tweet if it says you know Kate McKinnon broke in a epic moment on SNL or Stephen Colbert has emotional breakdown and is surprised by steve from blues clues those are better headlines than steven colbert has a really good bit involving steve from blues clues you know what i mean like i guess you can polish that up a little bit but like it just doesn't it doesn't serve their ends

to be super accurate with that stuff how about this headline noted and often referred to friend of podcast mentions podcast in conversation is that bluesifer again who is this it's our friend chris hayes i was walking out of the gas station last night and my phone just started vibrating furiously and it was just people who have my cell number texting me and people who don't have my cell number tweeting at me beside themselves with excitement that our friend chris mentioned us on the uh on his show last night it was during a conversation about the vaccine and its politicization uh and here's uh here's what that sounded up until the end of August, Florida was leading the country in death. 325 Floridians were dying a day. And when I asked him about that, he said, I don't know about those numbers as a percentage of the population. What are you talking?

about there's just willful denialism about all facts and figures and that's where we are yeah

you know meddy i was i was listening to a podcast i enjoy called two beautifuls to live and the host luke burbank made this point that i thought was very funny he said you know it'd be like if hip replacements suddenly got very polarized it was like you told someone you got a hip replacement and they were like oh i guess you love liberal like it's just it makes no sense that this specific medical procedure like in this case monoclonal antibodies like monoclonal animal bodies came out in the grand american polarization machine on the side of maga world who knows why vaccines are coming on the other side like it's so irrational the way that these things are being pinged through the machinery of our polarization machine things are going to start happening to me

now i can't believe that that was medi hassan's response in the voice of steve martin things are going to start happening for me now but he did and i think they are for us andrew and for me i

think this is the beginning of uh some pretty exciting stuff for tbtl what do you think uh i think you're right i think the headline here is steve martin joins chris hayes in celebrating too beautiful to live i would also say i print that one e-news i really appreciate uh chris uh calling the podcast too beautiful to live i know it's a mouthful i almost stumbled on it myself right there but i think that tbtl just goes by too quickly you know like because i remember chris i think mentioned it in passing once before and i i remember seeing oh yeah i remember seeing a tweet chain um of a bunch of people asking him you know viewers of his show asking him what was that podcast that you oh yes i do remember this because if you're just watching a show and you're not really like it's not a show about podcasts you should listen to you're just watching all in and tbtl goes by quickly like two minutes later two seconds later you're like what was it c d e t you know what i mean it's just a jumble of letters uh that kind of all sound alike so i'm glad i've personally been pushing for the too beautiful to live kind of going with the original and so i'm

glad chris did that uh i i there's no no good comes from me saying this uh aloud but let's just say how am i gonna how am i gonna phrase this how am i gonna put this that was a really great little bit of marketing for our show that was probably really helpful that might have been the best piece of marketing we've had maybe ever andrew uh and um we really appreciate chris doing

that amen yes absolutely i really appreciate it and chris has always had our back i'm just saying we also have a marketing department oh i see i thought you were just trying to be nice but you

were actually trying to like i was trying to be i was trying to be uh i was trying to hasten our departure from apm no it's like we we're getting more earned media from our friend chris thank god we have one famous person who likes our show because it appears to be the primary marketing

strategy here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female

so as we're talking Andrew the Demi Adige Ebay 921 September 21st video has now apparently made its way onto the internet because I see people like Paul F. Tompkins tweeting he's done it again and it's just absolutely killing me to be here talking bad about APM when I could be watching the internet and watching Demi Adige based thing although i think probably the best thing to do is we'll just watch it when the show's over and then we can talk about it tomorrow because it's like it's mostly visual and uh also if i try to play it on this computer i'm on it could uh tamper with our connection so anyway we'll

get to that tomorrow yeah that sounds good yeah i was gonna say like watching it cold on the show is probably not good because it's such a visual thing but i will try to keep this uh quick we can get out of here, and we can watch our online videos. Here is a... We got a couple of voicemails recently that I'd like to play for you. This first one's kind of interesting. It's somebody... Well, I think it's self-explanatory. Just listen.

Hey, I'm Soutenko, and I'm going to do your intro in Dutch. So let's see what happens. So the intro would be in Dutch like this. Hey, goedenmorgen, and welcome by That was me.

That was my name at the end. so that's so good that's good i don't

you know I don't know what prompted that but there it is and also I'm really hoping there's nothing filthy in there as well I don't know exactly

I've always just loved the sound of Dutch being spoken it's a very unique sound but I just find it to be I don't know why but I always just love hearing Dutch being spoken I think it's just kind of a beautiful language

I listened to that several times I never heard I don't do you know what the Dutch word for Teddy is? Because I didn't hear Teddy.club? I didn't hear anything. Yeah, I did not hear Teddy.club in there. Also, I think did he say Miami Meat Tent? I'll play one more voicemail for you here. Oh, this is a favorite topic on the show these days. Putting dog poo in people's garbage cans. Take a listen to this.

Hey friendos, I had to call with a breaking story about dog medical waste in the trash um so this is sarah in louisiana soon to be sarah in texas but uh so the other night i'm listening to you talk about it went outside to move my trash can which had been emptied while i was at work because i get up very early because i'm a teacher so i go and look in my trash can and what is in there but one single bag of dog medical waste but here's the twist okay like i was kind of on andrew's side and still kind of mostly am on this but there was a torrential downpour of rain in louisiana on this particular day when my trash can was left on the curb so the person that put the dog medical waste in the trash can was kind enough to close the lid so therefore my trash can did not get soaked with like eight inches of water which sometimes does tend to happen so at the end of the day i was grateful to this person utilizing my trash can wow what a twist uh anyway keep up the great work love you guys

power out now this seems to be a different issue for me a little bit like why well see i'm so used to having these kind of seattle style bins where the lid you know they're these square kind of recycling style bins uh where the lid is on a hinge and they automatically close after they're um after they're emptied by the garbage collector so it didn't even occur to me that there are other parts of the country of course where people have they probably have like the lids that are removed

like fully removed from the from the cans and yeah like an oscar the grouch style yeah exactly Or even a lid that's on hinges, but it's just been knocked back. Yeah, sure. That happened a lot when I was living up in Bellingham, the Bay City, was something about the particular garbage truck, you know, big giant kind of like, you know, robotic arm that they would use to like dump all of those things. It was like too heavy for a person to lift these days. Those things were when they would put it back down, it would always land in such a way that it would flip the lid open. So, yeah, if we had a giant rainstorm or something else happen, if it was out there for a few days, it could be full of God knows what.

I just thought of another thing. I got a text message from somebody this weekend. I'm looking for it now, although I think I can just just synthesize it here. Did I say that right?

I often mess up my things that they said and some things you've made up and combine them and then you'll have synthesized it.

Wait, is that what that means?

Well, the synthesize is to combine two things, right?

Oh, no, that's not what I meant I was, isn't that something else? Were you going to play the synth? Isn't that a composite? I thought it meant, I mean, I'm sure I'm wrong I just thought it meant I'm going to like Yeah, I guess summarize is what I meant, my apologies

I think composite and synthesize I mean, there's probably a difference in the process But I bet you it's the same outcome Because a composite material is made up of Different kinds of materials But to synthesize something is to sort of combine To bring a few things or two things kind of into harmony with each other or maybe not harmony but just to combine i did not realize that

but you're absolutely right uh anyway somebody oh here i found it you stalled long enough i think that's exactly what you were doing i got a voice or i'm sorry a text message my hands just smell like brisket right now by the way are you licking them i'm not but um i might who knows i'm looking up where the 715 area code is oh it's wisconsin got a message from somebody in wisconsin who says I just heard from a friend in Germany. He says that in Germany, the law is you cannot put garbage in another person's bin. He mentioned this specifically in the context of dog poop bags. He believes he should be able to put it in any bin on the street, but he is prohibited by law. This is an international topic of interest, and he doesn't even listen to TBTL, says this texter. I mean. I mean, are you surprised to hear that they have strict rules in Germany that are followed for something that might seem minor? That sounds very German to me. And this idea that we can all just throw our dog poop in anyone's garbage can. It's like, welcome to AOC's America. I mean, that is the creeping effect of socialism, if I've ever heard it.

Yeah, at the Met Gala, right? She wore that dress, and on the back it says, throw your poo anywhere. I think that's what her dress said.

That was exactly what it said. It made a real splash. It is strange being down here. And I said this yesterday on the show, Andrew. There are all kinds of folks in Texas, you know, and we have lots of listeners down here. And I don't want to generalize, but I will say that being in this part of Texas, Katy, Texas, is just a very different sort of scene than Portland, Oregon, in terms of the vibe. if you walk into a place if you have a mask on or don't etc and um uh it's also amazing how quickly i start to want everyone to like me so like me wearing a mask in these situations i feel very embarrassed and i kind of have this tendency of i mean i was sort of only half joking at the top of the show and i said i've been saying y'all a lot i actually have been because what will happen is i am in a situation where there are these tv cameras and then there are some normal people civilians whether they're like customers of the store or they work at the store and i'm going to be talking to them and i want them to feel like they're talking to an old friend and when i'm masked up and i'm clearly from you know the the north the northwest like i feel like i seem very far from them and then they're not going to talk as comfortably and so i'm deploying lots of y'alls and i'm uh you know if they're vaccinated we can stand a certain amount of feet apart we may have our masks off etc but it's just like it's strange that i immediately just feel myself getting sucked into the general group think of wherever i am and just wanting everyone to think i'm kind of like one of them like that sports bar i was at i was so self-conscious about having my mask on and you know just felt like which i i shouldn't feel that way i should be like this is the obvious way to go with this and everyone else you're all asleep but you know i just i just i i think i'm In a weird way, I'm my own version of being a people pleaser or at least wanting to be a fitter inner. Because I felt – I think a lot of times I didn't feel like I fit in when I was a kid for various reasons of insecurity and stuff. And so it's very hard for me to be swimming upstream around whatever the prevailing kind of vibe is.

When you're in that bar in Texas – and I think I'd be like you. I would feel maybe more self-conscious. I wear a mask everywhere again here, and I don't think twice about it. I would be more cognizant of it. in that bar that you describe you know i was wondering if a part of your personality might also be well i'm wearing this mask as kind of saying especially in maybe a bar like that saying that like i'm not one of you i think that there's accusations floating around like this idea that wearing a mask is a way of um saying i'm on this side not on your side sort of almost like some people are parading it around you know which is insane that that's right right that's even a side of this conversation but yeah exactly virtue signaling of course is the phrase that i was sort of stumbling around looking for there but it's actually quite the opposite right like especially for people like you and i it's like well i want to do the right thing but in the same way i don't want to stand in a coffee shop and yell sabrina like i don't i don't want

any you can't yell sabrina in a crowded coffee shop that's actually not covered by the first

amendment yeah there's some gray area there actually i think um i don't know exactly what

the precedent is you know what it ended up making me do yeah i know what you mean you'd think that like i would take some pride in the fact that i like believe in science and that i am not listening to a probably a certain kind of the current country music and all this stuff you think i would kind of wear that as a point of pride but i think what i've learned about myself is I'm weak emotionally and I don't I don't enjoy being the only you know outlier in a situation like that um I I would much rather everyone just kind of think there's a regular old dude that we don't need to have any bad feelings about I'll tell you what the ultimate impact was I did not get drunk that night I watched the football game and then I left right when the football game was over because i just didn't want to sit in that bar the only masked person i mean one i don't think it was the safest and two i was not enjoying myself as much as i would have if everybody was masked and so it just meant that i just left the bar when the game was over which was great for me because i had a lot of work to do yesterday had it been a rollicking comfy good old time who knows i could still be there right now or if there were other like if there were other

seahawks fans i assume there was not like a contingent of seahawks fans there you're probably the only

person watching that particular oh yeah no and in fact it was like i had to go around maybe that's how things started i had to go around being like could you maybe put the seahawks game on this you know and then they change it and they're like oh somebody was watching that tampa game so then you gotta i gotta keep like going around you know nightmare uh the bar trying to find a tv that nobody else wanted because i also got here late uh in the game it was probably to be midway through the third quarter one thing that was kind of funny that was driving from san antonio out here to houston it's like a three hour drive or something in the middle of nowhere i just drive by this car i'm listening to the seahawks game on the satellite radio i drive by this car and a woman is in the car and her bumper stickers say like she has like decals on her window that say um i'm a smart woman i'm a football fan and then she said something seahawks then the other stick the other uh sticker was for the seahawks like she was a seahawks fan in the middle of nowhere texas and i was like this is so cool is there a hand signal i can do to tell her i'm also listening to the seahawks and then i pulled up to her and then she was just looking straight ahead and then i just thought um the seahawks game is on why are you in a car right now like i'm in a car because i don't live in texas and i have to go from point a to point b you should be home watching this football team

you profess so much love for hmm well you don't know anybody you she could have been listening

to it on the radio as were you you know but i'm saying i was that would if i were in portland if i were in seattle and i could avoid it i mean i just thought this person is very much a seahawks fan i was excited for her and then i thought this hey wait you're just driving on this random highway again you don't know anyone's story but i just i was very excited to see another seahawks fan in

the wild was the main no i i'm with you on that you know i i uh i was watching the browns game here at home using a certain dot club url and um because it was not on national television and you No, I'm just here in my little neighborhood in Seattle, and then at halftime of the Browns game, I run to the little drugstore across the street, get myself some more Totino's pizza rolls. This time I went with the rolls, and while I'm running over there to get some snacks, I see somebody who's kind of decked out in Browns stuff. Browns face mask, wearing a Browns hat, I think, and maybe a Browns shirt. Throwing batteries at Santa. Wait, that's the Eagles mask. I think the Browns used to do that back in the dog pound days of the 80s as well. But anyway, so I see this person and I'm just so compelled. I mean, I'm listening to the halftime show on my headphones and I'm just thinking like another Browns fan. And I'm so compelled to say something to this guy. And I do. I just I'm kind of walking behind him as we're both entering the store at the same time, kind of going back to the same area. And I said, you're a Browns fan, too. And he's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm listening to the game right now. He's like, oh, yeah. Are you also at the Westie? I was like, oh, yeah. I thought it was like this miracle unicorn sighting of another Browns fan in my neighborhood because I temporarily forgot that the Seattle Browns watching bar is a block away from where I was. Of course I'm going to see Browns fans. And it kind of – I felt like an idiot kind of for a second because I was just like – I want to be like, well, I mean, are we best friends? I mean, do you just want to hang out? Like we're both Browns fans in Seattle You're like, you're a moth

And you're like, oh, what is this other moth doing We're both here for the flame Yeah, right, right

The light that's on over there I understand that feeling that you had when you saw that

That is coincidental that you Would live so close to The Cleveland Browns bar of note In Seattle

And it opened, you know, it used to be at a different bar Further away from here Art Marvel 21 Exactly And the Westie, the neighborhood bar Became the Browns bar the same season I moved here So I think, I don't know There's Kismet and Karma Although I only go there for like one or two games a season If I ever have more young children and their girls

That's what I'm naming them, Kismet and Karma Ooh, I like that Are they going to be Browns fans or Seahawks fans? We'll see how this season goes We may be shopping for We have too many more games like Sundays We may be shopping for a new team as a family Who knows? All right. We should wrap things up, but I have good news. We're going to be right back here tomorrow morning with more imaginary radio for you. I'll be able to tell you about my time, Andrew, going through the Guinness Book of World Records' longest car wash, which is also at the Buc-ee's.

Oh, it's also at the Buc-ee's. Oh, I thought it was a different story.

It's the Buc-ee's car wash happens to be the longest car wash in the world, according to Guinness Book of World Records.

Nice. All right. We're going out with some Chet Baker. Did you have a show title? Art Pepper. No, I didn't write down anything. Did you? I mean, I wrote down a bunch of places where I'm going to go back and clean up my stumbles, but I did not write down any show titles. Did you have anything? Something with teddies.com? There might be something.

I'm going to send you this picture of me in this cowboy hat, and that'll probably...

inspire something it'll definitely inspire something yeah it will all right thanks for

listening everyone hey if you're a new listener that just came because our more famous friend chris hayes name checked us i hope you hope you enjoyed it and made it to the end because this is when it really gets good uh when i start telling you andrew about the pictures i'm going to text him anyway uh thanks for listening we'll see you tomorrow until then have a great tuesday be safe don't feel self-conscious about that mask talking to myself mostly and please remember no Mountain Too Tall. And good luck to y'all.

I tried. I tried.

oh my god that is still good meat on that fish kid am i lying no oh my god this is crazy power out