Muse

What don't you understand? It's crystal clear. Ron Donald do's, okay? The four P's and one B. Politeness, professionalism, perfectionism, proactive, be on time. What are you doing? Don't do that. Functuality. What? No, don't do that. Now it's five P's. No, I already have four P's. That's an RDD. That's a Ron Donald do? No, a Ron Donald don'ts. This is so confusing, Ron.

TBTL. well there's a revolution going on in rec rooms offices and classrooms around the world a revolution in which 15 million people are taking part bill cameron has this report on

the growing phenomenon of internet my face your face instant face go go talk to whoever you want that does that stuff i don't know your mouth might be saying hey we cool but your eyes are like no

we not nice to meet you no it's not it's all good so i don't think any of you could really understand what i was saying but let's throw another switch if we wanted to we could have

our own business no i agree if we really wanted to we could it's just that do we want to do that do we want to have a website and a blog and be like this is what we did today No, it's too much work. Yeah, and too expensive.

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, a show that just might be too beautiful to live. You want to do a make-believe radio show in a room somewhere. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo? Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky above Portland, Oregon, where it's a gorgeous morning, actually. Oh, la, la. Beautiful day, although it is crisp and cold outside. It might be the last day that I could get out there on my yogg without gloves because definitely the temperatures are lower. But the sun is out, and it's a lovely, crisp fall day here in the 503. Day 7, sans coffee. Put that coffee down. And I have to say, so if you listen to the show the other day, you heard that the doctor that I went to said I should lay off coffee for a week to see if that would help with my extra heartbeat. And I didn't think there was any way the one cup of coffee I was having a day could be in any way connected to this. But I have to say my extra heartbeat seems to have gone away. I was almost disappointed. it. It's like I wanted it to keep going so I could know that coffee wasn't the issue. But as of right now, I'm having less of the extra heartbeat at the same time I'm having less of the coffee. So he may have been on to something. I'm not sure. I may be a decaf man going forward. Here we are at episode 3521 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. So happy to have all of you along with us. Also, Eminem has opened a restaurant in Detroit today called Mom's Spaghetti. I'm the president

of rap music, and I need to work with you

right away. We'll give you all the details on that for our Detroit listeners and those visiting Detroit who would like to go see Eminem's restaurant. Also, an artist in Denmark was given $86,000. I mean, it wasn't dollars, it was kroners, I think. But we're just going to go with dollars, because we have like maybe five listeners in Denmark. And we have more than five listeners in the U.S., so we're going to just convert that on the fly. Maybe it was like $84,000. They gave him this money for an art project. He was going to use the money in the art. And then he sent back his completed project, and there was no money in it.

That cash could really get me out of a couple of jams.

He said it was the art piece, and now the museum wants their money back. Oh, speaking of art, we have yet another update in the story of the duck stamp painting. Can you verify? Can you give me some 411? We will hopefully finally bring the story to a bit of a close, or at least for the time being until they pick the winner. Every day we come on this program and we say something about the paintings and the people that paint the duck stamp paintings. And then we get a flurry of emails explaining that we're only getting part of the story. So hopefully today we will bring you the full story on this. We also have this guy. He is the longest running co-bro of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I think me and the listeners all have sort of the same question in mind when we hear him talking. I wonder if the guy's ever actually seen a duck. His name is Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend. Good morning.

Good morning, Luke. Of all the regrettable things I say and do on this show, I don't, remarkably, I don't have a lot of, like, long-term regret about things, right? Like, oh, my take was really off on this, or my tone was really off on this, like, real cringe moments or eras. Luckily, those are few and far between. I think of some of maybe as COVID was making its way to our shores, I feel like there were some moments in there where I would like to go back and probably just accidentally hit the delete key for a while, Nixon style. Just kind of like being like, oh, I don't know, it's the flu or whatever when it was all very, very new. I don't think those episodes will stand the test of time. I will say, though, as I was watching the Mariners game last night, and email after email after email came in explaining for like the 30th or 40th time what is going on with this duck story, I realized I have long-term regret. I want to go back over the last two shows and redo those segments with the knowledge that we should have had when we started the segments.

Well, I blame listener AJ. Oh, that's good. You know what? We needed someone to blame. And the good news is listener AJ, they blame themselves because we actually got emails from, like you said, a lot of people. Listener Dave, listener McKenzie, listener Sarah at last check, and listener AJ who said, So I was lazy in my reporting yesterday, and I didn't realize it was such a poor video. See, I like that we have the listeners so trained. Not only are they helping us generate the content for the show, but then they're apologizing when they didn't do a thorough job of producing and creating the segments for us. So listener AJ was the one who originally had sent in the link to the video explaining that it was actually John Oliver's thing, the duck stamp thing, just that he was talking about these two guys in the painting. And then I got on that whole thing with the documentary. I pulled the tape yesterday. But what I did not realize and what many listeners are now explained to us is those paintings, the paintings that were described in the Audubon Society as these hilarious submissions. At no point, you know who I blame, the Audubon Society. They've had it too good. How did the person writing this up for the Audubon Society at no point mention that these, quote, hilarious submissions to the duck stamp painting contest were all because the John Oliver show last week tonight with John Oliver had essentially commissioned them and then was auctioning them off?

right exactly so we thought that last week tonight was just talking about this bizarre story as we were but no in that very John Oliver way they got involved in it and they commissioned as you just said they commissioned a painter to paint these hilarious paintings or funny paintings I think some of them you decided were not hilarious but um you know of like a duck aiming a shotgun at hunter who was that was from this that that was from this collection that was something that almost at the daily show that um last week tonight uh commissioned so all of us all of the conversations that we had i mean i still loved the journey we took yesterday getting the backstory of of these two fellas who are involved in the contest in bizarre ways and our nemeses like i still think that's all wonderful but i'm just embarrassed that we that on the record we have gone on for probably a good 45 minutes uh not realizing that the whole thing was kind of

set up as a bit by last week tonight again i blame the audubon society do you think they didn't know

my guess is i was thinking about this last night i think they didn't know either i know but listen

if we don't we're idiots yeah okay if we don't know something that's par for the course if you're like the magazine of record related to all things aviary avian aviary and aviary i think is where birds live i think avian yeah see we're idiots if you are the magazine of record on all things bird related and the john oliver show decides to do a stunt by the way that all the these paintings all the money is raising uh will be donated to the u.s fish and wildlife service to help conserve habitat for migratory birds, which is another thing I love about how the John Oliver show works. It's like they're always raising a ton of money, and they're always putting it towards a good cause. If you're the Audubon Society, you should know that this is going on. Like, you should sense a disturbance in the force, and you should be like, oh, John Oliver is having a go, and that's where these came from.

Because it would appear that whoever put this on the Audubon Society's website, they were just poking around the Flickr page of the Audubon, of the duck stamp competition. And they saw them because they didn't even put all of – there's a hilarious one. This website is bestduckingstamps.com. This is where the John Oliver Show commissioned paintings are, including the one that we are obsessed with, the two guys shaking hands. There also, Andrew, is a painting that was essentially what I had suggested, which was the dog from Duck Hunt holding up a duck in the background of a duck flying. I said that the other day, and I got a decent laugh out of you, and I thought, well, that was a pretty good idea. You had their burbs. And then it was already one of the ones. But the Audubon Society did not highlight that one from the Flickr page. This is new news to me looking at these. Now, of course, the next place my brain went, Andrew, was wanting to see if I could actually maybe buy the painting, if I could bid on the painting of the two guys shaking hands. Oh, yeah. It's already at $2,900. Wow. So how much did you pay? That's the price of a Mercedes-Benz e-bike that I'm planning on buying.

By the way, just while we're doing this, while we're kind of wallowing in our mistakes a little bit here. I am not wallowing. I am. For the record. I'm going to bring you down with me here.

Feel free to wallow, my friend, but I blame the Audubon Society for this, as I do so often.

Well, I'm going to bring you down into the wallowing puddle with me, Luke. Do you like that song, by the way? Isn't it an old Appalachian folk song? It is. Bring me down to the wallowing hole. David writes in to say, about once a month, well, that's a little excessive. About once a month, Luke brings up the connection between the cartoon dog, Mutley, and his supposed owner, Clutch Cargo. Actually, Clutch Cargo's dog is named Paddlefoot Clutch Cargo was on the air from 1959 to 1960 It used amazing animation technique Which featured the characters moving like cardboard cutouts With actual human mouths dubbed in on top Please keep us boomers happy By accurately reporting our hero Clutch and his associates So I was hoping this would explain

Okay, so Muttley, I'm looking this up now Muttley is a fictional dog created in 1968 by Hanna-Barbera Productions, originally voiced by Don Messick. He's the foil to the cartoon villain Dick Dastardly. I see. And appeared with him in the 1968 television series Wacky Races. So when I'm thinking of the dog that laughs like that, with his hand over his mouth, that is Muttley, but he's not in clutch cargo. He is not part of the clutch cargo plan. I also blame the Audubon Society for that.

I haven't figured out how yet, but I'll get there. You know, we might be idiots, but they're bird brains, Luke. where's my oh yes calling names on a wednesday that's right well that's you know what when you

when you lead us astray like the audubon society website did recently just prepare for battle yeah i am i am embarrassed about that though get into a meme war with us by the way you know i want to hear uh i actually said we should text him or he may hear this um as he's biking around manhattan but i was watching our friend chris hayes's tv show last night and he was talking about i think it was ted cruz blasting out emails and i was like do you think that he subconsciously picked up that terminology from you talking about bob walsh blasting out emails like going then that

means like you're going through your email box but you're not reading emails you're just blasting

away emails as my dad well i don't that's not the context this was this was something i actually may not have been from cruise it was about fundraising oh oh and like republic so blasting out more in the sense of like put you know putting it out there to a large group of of of soggy headed republican donors who are worried that you know aoc is coming for their freedoms um but he's just i just my ears perked up what he said blasting out emails because you had just used that terminology yesterday again slightly different context but i was wondering if that had if we're slowly making our way into chris's brain um and if he'll you know soon be misattributing stories from the

audubon society on his program all in with chris hayes i my guess is that comes from the more common parlance of an email blast uh i think that is because we still say that like you know like if we're if we're sending out fundraising emails i think that's the kind of the common terminology

you're gonna send out a blast yeah but so when you're when your dad's talking about it and now when you're talking about it yeah you're just means you're cleaning out your inbox it kind of

means yeah you sit down because i don't know how often my dad just like kind of just get this and just get this picture in your in your head okay so my dad's at home get this through your thick skull this or your bird brain um he's uh you know he's he's retired now so he's not spending all day behind a computer the way we are right and even his previous job

I don't think really called for that intense like kind of just computer usage the way we are used to. And so let's say a day or two goes by and he hasn't really checked his e-mails. So then night falls, maybe he's had a nice day, he's had a nice supper. And now he's just going to go down to his little den, which is a very comfy little den down in the basement. He's going to fire up that computer of his. He's going to see what's in the old inbox. Now, what's in the old inbox is going to be a lot of stuff from Sears and a lot of follow-ups from Bose wanting to know if he's still enjoying his speakers or what have you. You know, I'm pulling these out of thin air. And so he doesn't need to even open those. You know, he's probably just blasting those away. I picture it like, and I do kind of a similar thing. You know, I picture it like, you know how a real artist, Luke, do you know about artists? They'll look at like a block of marble and they can see the sculpture within, but you have to kind of blast away the stone around it to unlock it. Like, in order to get to the funny email forwards from family members, you have to kind of blast away the stuff around it. And I think that's kind of what blasting away emails means in that term. And all of this, and I want to make this clear, I'm not making fun because my dad says this, and the moment he first said it to me, I knew exactly what he was talking about. Like, I find it very relatable.

It's just funny because, like, I think of – my mind thinks of reducing the number of emails in an inbox to get to the good ones more like playing Tetris. They fall. Whereas instead of it being explosive, it's more the reduction of something. It's the disappearing of something. It's like there used to be a lot of this. And then when I go through, you know, on the rare occasion that I look at any of my email accounts, if I'm trying to get rid of a bunch of them, I'm going through and I'm highlighting all of them that I'm going to delete. because they're junk and then i'm just hitting delete and i guess that's the blasting you're

doing it in one quick yeah you're you're you're doing it you know your way around the keyboard probably a little bit better you know how to select them all at once maybe maybe although

depending on the program uh because you know we've got like the apm email that i don't check the tbtl email that i don't check the i found out i had a livewire email recently because somebody from the distributor was had been emailing me trying to get me to do something for the virtual prpd and uh i said oh i don't have the zoom link they said oh we sent it to your email account i go which email they go luke at livewire radio.org and i said well that's news to me that that's an

email account oh my gosh i thought you meant you were just missing an email from livewire not that

you were missing an account from livewire i had no idea that i have had for like now eight years like luke at livewire radio.org get your blasting caps ready my god really get my Get my TNT ready to go, baby.

That sounds delicious to me. I'm licking my chocolate. Give me access to that. I'd love to start blasting.

I mean, you're in on all of my secrets. I'll give you all the passwords to all my accounts if you just want some – if you need some nighttime puttering to just go in there and just absolutely excavate all of my email accounts. I know you so well.

I probably know that password without you even telling me. I'm sure you do at this point. Hey, by the way, speaking of emails, one last thing. Speaking of missed messages, what the hell is going on with you and Maggie and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me? Are we going to get her a voicemail message or not? Have you written to the people at Wait, Wait asking why this was not on your radar?

I haven't. I guess we're just doing the email segment now, which is actually fine. Oh, did you hear back? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blast away your show sheet. No, I said, let's see. Maggie has responded. So the good news is we've made contact. I'm like Jodie Foster in that movie, Little Man Tate. How old was Wilford Brimley in Little Man Tate? I can't remember. Who's Schubert dip out? Oh, man. Sorry, I don't want to jump topics here, but there is – I hate it when people put this stat on internet because it always makes me feel old. But just the other day, it was another example of someone who doesn't seem old to me at all who is the age that Wilford Brimley was in Cocoon. Oh, who is it now? Well, that's where this becomes even less interesting. I don't remember who it is, but it was just like somebody who does not seem old to me. This is, you know, every once in a while, this will just pop up on Twitter. They'll just be like, hey, so-and-so? Yeah, they're the age Wilford Brimley was when he did Cocoon, and I'm just like, no. Yeah, it's true. But Maggie has reached back out to me, and so the good news is we are in touch. She said I could write my own copy if I want. I wasn't sure how this works, and I will respond saying I would like Maggie to write the copy for me to record her outgoing voicemail because, you know, it's a union thing. If I actually sit down and write an outgoing message, then I have to charge a different rate. So I just as soon have her write it. Plus then it'll just be. funnier and more personal to her but anyway good news is maggie has responded and she knows that i'm not shining her on what or blowing her off or blasting this whole thing off what i what i still need to do though is figure out why wait wait don't tell me never reported to me that someone who won the contest wanted my my voice on their answer that's what i i mean not that i'm not

invested in maggie's issue but that's what i want to know and like you said are have there been others have there been other requests that you never got i also i have a complicated

relationship with I wouldn't say complicated I have the kind of relationship with the Wait Wait folks where I love them and I love that show and there are a lot of panelists I'm one of a growing roster of panelists and so I also don't want to go too ham on them I don't want to email my friend Colin who runs things back there and say what the heck because I don't want to get on their bad side because I would like to keep being on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me if only to promote this show and also Livewire Mm hmm. Well, I mean, I'm not holding I'm not holding the cards when it comes to my weight. Wait, don't tell me appearances. Right, right, right.

I have another thing that I now that I'm getting all defensive on your behalf. I have something else that I hesitate to bring up, but I'm going to bring up. No, boy. Hope it doesn't put you in a bad place. It's something that maybe you should know about this and we should get this fixed. I found myself, as I often do, on the CBS Sunday morning about us page.

uh yesterday and um i was looking at all why in the world were you you gotta tell me the real

reason why and just check why in the world you would be there just checking things out no i was making a faith salee joke on a text chain and i wanted to make sure i spelled her name right that's all and it wasn't at her expense or anything it was no no i i think i saw those

jokes it was a joke it started with i think our friend stew saying something about his favorite CBS correspondent.

A CBS employee, I think, because what's his name? Hal. Ah, damn, I'm blanking his name. But my favorite football announcer is going to be calling the... Oh, Kevin Harlan. Kevin Harlan, yes. Like I said, Hal... Yes. Kevinly. Hal Carlin. Hal Hartley is going to be...

Ooh, that's going to be

a really interesting game. Hal Hartley follows me on Twitter, by the way. Who's Hal Hartley?

hellheartedly the filmmaker yeah i was gonna say didn't you make um like simple men and all those

right anyway uh that's a big follow for me um anyways yeah uh yeah um anyway uh what i was gonna say was so i was uh so yeah cbs website yeah so stew made a comment like oh yeah he's my favorite cbs employee of course on the text chain two other cbs employees are on there you and our buddy john so anyway so i wanted to make a faith salie joke saying that she's my fave so i go to the page and make sure I'm spelling Faith correctly or I Google her name and that's where it pops up. And then I'm kind of scrolling through like all the staff that's listed for CBS Sunday Morning. And two things I noted. Most of the correspondents have their names are listed and most of their names are links to their bio pages on CBS. Mo Rocca has one. Faith has one. It's got a nice headshot you are the uh one of the few not the only you are one of the few people whose name is just text there's no link there you don't have a bio and that kind of pissed me off and I was kind of like why are we treating my buddy Luke like this then I noticed that John Dickerson isn't even listed at all so then I started to get angry on his behalf and I forgot about you he's the tbtl of press releases that's that's right so what do we got to do what do I got to do to get cbs to add john dickerson and then add a link to your bio i could email someone about that

i'm sure have it fixed within a week it's just those are just one of those things i actually didn't even know that this this page you're describing you find it much like my no i'll google it much like my luke at livewire radio email address it's news to me that it even exists right like um is so it's a it's a it's cbs sunday morning correspondence or something it's just the

about us sunday morning so it starts with a big picture of jane paulie it says who we are anchor jane paulie when jane paulie's uh name is listed you can click on it i see got it so serena alt she'll read a braver and then luke burbank number three good placement you're number three on the

correspondence that helps with the b's thanks walt yeah that's right it's alphabetical okay that's right i'll take it i'm changing my name to a hyphen burbank yes so i can be above serena altshull yes good idea so i should you know what honestly considering that this is probably my highest profile job uh the tv one uh i should probably actually like in on the small chance that somebody might, you know, be looking for a secret.

me on television and go what's this person about and then they go to this bio and then it tells them there's also a thing called tbtl that I do it would probably be decent like if it added five listeners over the course of a year it'd be worth me figuring out who I have to email with a bio for me and a headshot and you know so that

or just have a link right to tbtl.net that would be funny or the game of cats song

you know who else doesn't have a bio is Ben Stein Ben Stein

burbank burbank anybody also who's this conor knighton correspondent conor knighton is handsome

luke i.e the much more attractive version of me oh really oh and looks younger too i think well yeah there's that so he does a lot of stories for sunday morning um about the outdoors he did this whole series where he went to national parks he's a very talented uh correspondent again who is much more attractive than me but kind of looks vaguely like me but a way better looking version of me

he's a good-looking fella I mean my natural enemy yeah good-looking fella so you're gonna kill the

people that are my enemy on this list are Conor Knighton for being more handsome than me Jim Gaffigan for being way richer than me also Jim Gaffigan doesn't have a he doesn't have a hyper

you know maybe this is I'm looking at this the wrong way Ben Stein uh Jim Gaffigan these are very famous people these are people who don't need links this is like having an aol email account

still i told you like two or three of the more famous people that i know and occasionally correspond with use aol accounts because they're just like i don't have to get hip to your new fangled internet email ways and the same thing goes here like honestly yeah ben stein i mean And Conor, I put Conor somewhere in the middle. But Jim Gaffigan and Ben Stein, those are heavy hitters.

Those are household names, I would say. This is like, you know when people say he needs no introduction? That's what this is. This is an honor that you don't have a link. I'm glad we talked this out.

Yes. Now don't you feel, aren't you more impressed to know me and be my friend? I am.

To call you, oh, Luke, to call you my friend is an honor. Now we've got to get a link for John Goodwin and Jay Kernis. I see that those guys don't have that.

Yeah, right. John's down here listed in the producers, the production staff, but I want him to be the only producer that has their own hyperlink.

Yes, I like that. You want him to be the only producer. This is like some sort of a horror movie, like one by one. As we stare at the page, names just disappear, and eventually it's just John. What is happening? What is John doing?

We should take a quick break here because we actually have a lot of top story to try to get to today. So let's do that now, and then we will be right back with all of that here on TBTL. Fine. Let's thank some donors of the day. These are the wonderful, generous people making the show possible with their monthly donation. erica sparkenbaugh is in chapel hill north carolina i don't think i've ever been to chapel hill and i just hear the best things about chapel hill people seem to really love it yeah uh same

exact story for me as well i don't know if i've been there before but it feels like i should that's where there's the uh what is it is the research triangle do i have that right yeah you do it's

like Chapel Hill, Raleigh, Durham or something. There's a few cities there that all have these really well-respected universities. And so there's a lot of research that goes on there. And they're supposed to just be really lovely towns as well. So, Erica, thank you for checking in from Chapel Hill. Nice. Research something for me. Joseph Ringstorff is in Palsbo, Washington. If this is the same Joseph Ringstorff I'm thinking of, I think this guy was on Jeopardy. Oh. And I had the I told the story before on the show, but I had the very surreal experience of going into Juanita Thai food in Bellingham, which was my favorite Thai spot when I lived there. And I was waiting for my to go order. Actually, I may have been eating there and on the little diner counter. And I look up and listener Joe was on Jeopardy, who's playing on a TV in the restaurant. And I just wanted to tell someone that guy listens to my podcast. it was too complicated to explain sure he does grandpa sure he does exactly oh speaking of jeopardy i cannot be more specific i can't be as specific as i would like to be but a dear friend and collaborator of mine who's not you because the listeners would have heard this uh but somebody that i know very well was just on jeopardy this week like a taping of you're sure it wasn't me i see my the type of guy who would be good on jeopardy and also you are forgetful so you might have forgotten that you flew to culver city california yeah but what but um no this uh person was on jeopardy and uh the reason i have to be vague is because there's all kinds of yeah you know uh gag orders and uh ndas and things like that yeah but i was able to text ken jen and i was like hey are you hosting jeopardy today he's like yeah this person i know was on jeopardy he's like oh yeah i remember

them they did great oh okay so it was after i was going to say you could be in trouble for even just like you know that you plant that seed in the host's head does the host start favoring that person more subconsciously right but i'm excited for whatever the waiting period to expire is so

that i can uh chat it up with this person we can chop it up yeah over this person being on jeopardy

Yeah, I'm excited to find out who that is.

Gail Schrebers is in Edmonds. It's Gail Schrebers?

Oh, oh, sorry. Sorry. You're doing the thing.

I knew I was going to let it slip. It was Gail Schrebers. Gail Schrebers is in Edmonds, Washington, and is supporting the show. Thank you, Gail. I'm sorry that there's an ambulance. I am in a real quandary over staying in this apartment or not, Andrew. I've been looking at other apartments in this building Trying to figure out if there's a Because moving is a real hassle I kind of don't want to move My lease is going to be up in November But the ambulance thing just drives me crazy Even though you tell me it's not that big of a deal It's my version of I guess when Theo is caterwauling for you Like it just gets under your skin

I mean I don't know if this is true or not And I don't want to influence this but it does seem like it's getting louder somehow or like, and I don't, but maybe it's just in my head because you told me that story about you trying to record a wait, wait. And it was like, now you're really getting in the, but like that one I did hear, like I heard that through the music, which seems a little bit louder than usual, but again, I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. Sorry, Gail,

Gail. I want to thank you in the clear. Three, two, one, Gail Schriebers of Edmonds, Washington. Thank you. Molly Lutke is in Tulum. Toledo, Ohio. Holy Toledo. And then Linda Hill is checking in from Bothell, Washington. I don't think there's any saying about the city of Bothell, Washington that comes to mind.

For a year or a year and a half, depending on your lease. Is that what the signs say?

That's actually, yes. They've recently changed it. I think it's less catchy than the previous one. Really? Oh, I like the upgrade. And then Michon McCabe. He's right here in Portland, Oregon. If you hear about any apartments that aren't on Ambulance Alley, Michon, will you let me know? Because I need to rent an apartment that's not in the loudest part of Portland for this. Although, I have to say, I went to the other side of the building. By the way, thank you to all of our donors of the day. Thank you for supporting this show. We really do appreciate you and love getting to do this for our job, which wouldn't be happening if not for all of you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. This is actually moderately interesting, Andrew, because you know how the whole time that I've been living in this building, I have sort of been dealing with this with my kind of I forget what the term I came up with. But basically my like perpetual upgrading tendencies, my super maximizing, my like if I think there's a better table in the restaurant that I could be sitting at, I want to be there. I just I just I just don't do very well when I feel like there's a better version of my experience I could be having. And this apartment that I'm in, I am on the side of the apartment that looks out kind of on the I guess it would be the east side of Portland. Now, on the other side of the building is a view of the Willamette River and downtown Portland and also the sun setting behind the West Hills of Portland. So it seems like it's very much a better view. And I am on the other side, and it's a thing where I started off just trying to be cool with it. And I said, I'm just going to bloom where I'm planted. And then, of course, I woke up one day with some kind of weird state of mind, and I was like, no, I've got to see if I can move across the hallway. So then I asked them, and they said yes, but then it turned out it was going to cost me like $6,000 or something because I was breaking the lease. Did I tell you that part? No, I don't know. I don't think so. I looked at an apartment on the other side. There was an apartment just like mine but on the other side of the building, and I was all ready to move into it. But it was because some fair housing act, because of some weirdness, it was going to cost me thousands and thousands of dollars. So I said, fine, I'm just going to stay. on the side of the building until my lease is up and then maybe i can move if i want to well yesterday i called down and they said look we have a one bedroom right now this apartment i'm in is a two bedroom one of the rooms is just my the nest broadcast center they said it's a one bedroom but it's on the penthouse it's the top floor of the building and it's facing the city like the the downtown so it's basically the most primo view you can have in the building and i so i got the keys and i went up there and i looked around and i was just hanging out in this apartment it's empty

and i was looking and i was realizing that from that side of the building even if you're on the tippy top floor of this building mostly what you're looking at is a tangle of interstate it's i-5 comes together i-84 i-405 i yi yi it's just like a it's like five clover leaves of traffic and then the burnside bridge mostly what you're looking at if you if you don't look down you're kind of seeing this beautiful view of downtown Portland and the West Hills and everything. But if you look even down a little bit, it's just a tangle of freeway. And it's also really loud, like louder than this. Now, the problem with this side of the building is occasional ambulances there. So it's like, but generally speaking, it's pretty quiet on this side. If you're on that side of the building, it's never not, you're never not hearing the sound of traffic. And I found this to be weirdly comforting because I've been sitting over on this side of the building Thinking the whole time that I'm kind of Getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop and I think This might be actually The non-fuzzy end of the lollipop this side It's again minus the Ambulances when I'm trying to record this show and Wait wait don't tell me it's actually a little bit Quieter it does have a nice view You've been in it and it's like I think this whole time I thought I was missing Out on something that I really wasn't missing out on much

So are you still then Thinking of of exploring Other places in the building I also I'm surprised that the penthouse is smaller like I know that penthouse means the top floor and the nice view but that also usually means that they reserve some extra space for that penthouse I

thought I did too actually so I was like uh okay it's a one bedroom but it's the penthouse ooh la la and then I went up there and it just was a like 600 square foot one bedroom apartment other than being on the top floor of the building I didn't see any other special penthousey qualities to it You know what I mean? We all have this idea of watching movies from the 80s where someone would have the New York penthouse apartment. You have this idea of it just being really palatial and fancy. They just call the apartments that are on the top floor of the penthouse. Yeah, right. That's kind of like – I think you need a special fob to get to the 22nd floor. And they have a media room that you only have access to if you live on that floor, which is like a kind of living room thing that you could watch movies in.

I wonder if they have signs that say, don't put your dog poop in these garbage cans upstairs.

By the way, I have not abandoned that project. I am resolute. As long as the Mariners don't win tonight, therefore obligating me to come to Seattle this weekend to watch their baseball games. My plan for this weekend had been to decide which sign I want to use, to print it out, frame it, and then to gorilla tape it up above the garbage can. And also have to buy another garbage can and put it out in the outside area so people do have a place to throw their poop.

Anyway, I have not abandoned that project. Some listener. I want to say it might have been listener Jamie in Mississippi, although I might have that wrong. My apologies to everybody involved. But a listener suggested, hey, if you want to make this look legit, the key word is laminate. Laminate the sign. Don't just tape a paper sign up there. I don't know if you have access to that or if that's getting more involved. Well, I'm going to frame it. Oh, an actual frame?

Yes. Oh, okay. Come on. I mean, give me a little credit. I was not going to tape a paper sign and expect that to last. I'm going to go, and this is why it's taking me a while, because I have to figure out which sign I want to use. I have to print it out. I have to figure out what size frame that means. I'm going to go buy it. I mean, I'm not going to break the bank on this frame, but I'm going to go to, like, Ikea or something and get a cheapo frame and put it in there. I'm going to do this right.

Now, if the building management itself was going to hang a sign, would they frame it?

Well, here's what they have in the elevators. They have the pet of the month. By the way, last month's pet was a posthumous one, which was kind of depressing. It was basically an obit for a dog named Ruger who had passed away, who had, as they put in the thing, had crossed the Rainbow Bridge. so for an entire month so they have this frame that's in the elevator but it's the kind of frame where the top of it pops off so they can put different materials in there and what it's for is the pet of the month and last month's pet was Ruger a really cute bulldog who is not alive

anymore and it was like it was sweet i'm glad that ruger got to be honored but it was also just like every time i got into the elevator i got to come out you got to give me a dead dog story when i'm coming out of an up tempo number it was just like i was reminded that ruger has crossed the rainbow

bridge for 30 consecutive days you're well it was a reminder that we all only have so much time on this earth and as you get off that elevator you should make the most of your day sure like kirk

cousin style i have a death rock tube by my apartment that i um but anyway uh so that is framed so i feel like they do generally frame things good call good to know i didn't realize so that's why i'm trying to keep it consistent okay gotcha good good good on you andrew speaking of framed work of art framed works of art i gotta tell you about this thing that happened at the kunsten museum of modern art in northern denmark so there is an artist named jens hanning who i think is a kind of a fairly well-known artist in denmark uh and had done some art years ago where he had displayed uh i think the amount of money that the average uh you know dane was making based on you know their income levels it was sort of like a piece of art that was using kroners but also illustrating something about the cost of living there or wages or whatever. So this art museum was putting together a series, I think, about work and money. It was called Work It Out. It was about the labor market. And so they reached out to this guy, and they wanted him to basically recreate one of these pieces of art. Well, the thing is, he needed 534,000 kroner or $84,000 US to actually put the money in the frames and make the art. So they mailed him the money, and then he mailed them back eventually the art. And when they opened it up, it was just empty frames. The new piece that he had created, he called Take the Money and Run. And he says the artistic statement is about how expensive it is to be an artist. He basically said he figured out that it was going to cost him like $3,000. Making the art was going to cost him $3,000, so he was going to end up basically doing it for free because they were paying him some money. They were paying him some money to actually make the art, but he was going to end up using all of that money to make the art. So he was going to effectively be doing it for free, which he didn't really love, and so he decided to just keep the money and send back empty frames and call it take the money and run. Well they kind of They wanted a statement I guess They are going to hang They are suing him for the money And they are also going to hang the empty frames

Oh really they're going both Both paths

They're going to display what he sent in They don't even seem like they're that mad About the art they're kind of into the art But they also want their money back Do they consider the lawsuit to be part of the art While we're playing this game Lassie Anderson The museum director agrees that Hanning's work is appropriate for the collection, but stipulated that his decision to take the money for himself violates their legal agreement. I want to give Jens absolutely the right that a work has been created in its own right, which actually comments on the exhibition we have, he told a Danish radio show, P1 Morgan. By the way, I went and clicked on this radio show and listened to like 20 minutes of a Danish of two people in Denmark talking about art just to see how many words I recognized. Very few.

That reminds me.

I was almost tempted to pull the tape and just play it for you. Like I have some tape of this and then it's just people talking in Danish.

Do you remember somebody left us a Dutch voicemail the other day or somebody doing the TBTL intro in Dutch? I got a text message from that person. That's our pal Remco. Remco. taking credit for that but i can't return the text message because google voice doesn't allow international texting uh for outgoing so i hope you're listening remco thank you i got you that's

weird yes so there you go um so anyway uh uh haunting is standing strong noting that his decision is what makes the empty frames work of works of art it's not theft he says it's a breach of contract and a breach of contract is part of the work there you go yeah and also i mean i i

think that you know it this is a living this is a living artwork right now as it goes into the

legal system also i mean i have to say the uh the publicity that this museum is going to get out of this and also this um you know particular installation or whatever you want to call it that they're having of work it out you could argue that that's probably worth 84 000 like Don't you think more people are going to go look at these empty frames than – I feel like it's going to really drive traffic to this event. Like it's – I could see that. I mean, I do think that there's an interesting artistic statement that's being made. You know, we talked about that story at Art Basel in Miami where somebody taped a banana to the wall. Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And I actually kind of thought that was an interesting statement as well. I don't know if I even get it, but to me, it's like the thing with art is if you get people talking about it, then you've done something. Right. Right. Becca and I, we were in San Antonio, went to the San Antonio Art Museum and we're walking around. And like, you know, I'm certainly not the most educated sort of art patron, but I, you know, I would look at something and I would have no idea what they were doing, but it would I would be interested in it. There was this one piece that was like – it was sort of a sculptural. It was two sort of large mirrors that were just by themselves. They weren't in frame. So just think a big kind of glass square mirror. And then there were these like – you know the kind of ratchet cables, like a nylon strap that you would use when you're moving, and you have ratchet down part of it, and you can tighten? it was like two of those that were holding these huge pieces of mirror kind of at an angle and then at the base there was a rock like a really large boulder that the straps were going around that was holding everything together so it was all the tension of these straps just going around this boulder and then holding these two mirrors up and like I have no idea what the artistic statement of that is but it was flipping cool yeah right and I was just like that's art to me like I don't I don't know what I'm supposed to think about it but I just was intrigued yeah

absolutely or the what's the boulder that you walk under at the LA Art Museum oh right yeah that one yeah I forget the name of that piece that I mean that gives you a feeling I mean that gives you a real feeling when you walk underneath it right yeah I am yeah I tend to really like these sort

of huge productions like I was a real fan of that guy Christo and his wife Jean something they did like the gates where they put up these like fabric sort of gates where they were you know made of wood but then they also had this like beautiful fabric draped on them all around Central Park in New York actually they just wrapped the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, although I think Christo certainly, I believe, has passed away. But they, this was sort of like, I think posthumously, they did this in his honor or something, or using his plans. But they, like, have done stuff with the Great Wall of China. They did this thing on some lake in Europe where they basically found some kind of a product that was, like, would float in the water and you could walk on it. So you're, like, you're walking on water, and they basically strung a ton of this stuff together so that people could go out and walk around on water and come back. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm intrigued by that kind of stuff. Those big, bold, brash moves. I'm also intrigued by this new restaurant that's opening in Detroit called Mom's Spaghetti, a walk up restaurant that will serve three things. Mom's Spaghetti for $9, Mom's Spaghetti with Meatballs for $12, and Skeddy Sandwiches for $11. This, of course, is all based on the song Lose Yourself by Eminem when he says Mom's Spaghetti.

Oh, I was missing that detail. I'm not a big Eminem fan. I know that song. I know that it's a famous song. I know that you have to lose yourself.

I think it's like his palms are sweaty, Mom's Spaghetti.

Oh, I didn't even know that that was it. I actually thought this was just based on the headline that you sent me. I thought, oh, that's just kind of nice. He's just like – he just has a spaghetti recipe that he wants to share and just is – he's Norm – I honestly thought he was just Norm-coring it in a sweet way. I'm less intrigued knowing that this is him leveraging a viral moment, I guess, in one of his songs.

I actually think it's kind of clever because like that line for whatever reason in this song – let's see here if I can actually – I'm trying to play it here. oh i know why i think i have spotify turned down whoa it's like the extended mix this is very lucky okay here we go are you like ready to hit the gym or what dude

oh yeah see i never i you know what i sorry it's 2021 and i'm just learning about that line i never really pay a lot of attention to eminem i mean obviously i know this song but i just never you

know just glanced off i feel like i'm also not a huge eminem head um but i feel like the that word spaghetti from that song kind of got meme-ified like i think i feel like i forget the sketch but i don't know if it's the chapelle show or someone else where it's

It's like somebody's just going spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Like, I feel like that is the word from that song that sticks with people the most for whatever reason.

I have another question about this restaurant, though. So it's a walk-up restaurant. It's not a sit-down. So it's like that's kind of weird. You think spaghetti, you definitely need to sit down. Somebody needs to bring you a bowl of that.

That seems like the least pop-up restaurant-friendly food that I could really think of would be spaghetti. Although maybe it's in one of those things that are so popular now Like where there's a bunch of things And then there are like picnic tables and stuff Yeah So maybe you can sit down and eat mom's spaghetti

I've been thinking about you a lot lately In regards to one of my favorite foods, Luke

Okay

A long time ago Let's say maybe peak pandemic I mentioned that I went to I think in this case I went to a sandwich place called Dingfelder's Which I love that name Which is in Capitol Hill which just make really, really good like brisket sandwiches and pastrami sandwiches, corned beef, the like. Right. But they've never been an indoor restaurant. It's always been a takeout window. I think they had plans to open up a dining room, but the pandemic put those on hold. But they've been going for a while now just as a window. And so every now and then I go there. It's pretty few and far between. Anyway, one time during the pandemic, I went there and I told you about it and how I ate the sandwich in my car. And you said to me, wow, the pandemic's really changing you. You're a guy who eats in your car now because I used to really hate that. And I said, no, I mean, I'm doing it because I have to, because I could drive all the way home with it. But that's like a 20 minute drive, depending on traffic. And am I going to drive 20 minutes with a pastrami sandwich riding shotgun? I don't think so.

I would watch that detective, that buddy cop show. Andrew is paired with a delicious pastrami sandwich. They have to solve crimes in Seattle.

You can see the bread is the lips, right? And it talks to me. Anyway, so I was like, no, no, no. As soon as things are open again and I can sit down in restaurants, you better bet your bottom dollar I'm going to be sitting down in restaurants. But then, Luke, and I've been thinking about this for a while now. I developed another tradition during the pandemic, which is a tradition I like to call tub thumping. And it's when I go to my favorite.

What is Chumbalumba opening their restaurant? That's a walk-up I'd go to.

No, there's a sandwich place called Tubbs here that I was, you know, it's kind of a favorite submarine sandwich kind of place that I think I discovered right before the pandemic. Because I believe the first time I had a sandwich there, it was me and Genevieve, and we sat at a little table. But there's nothing really nice about the inside of this place, like really at all. It's not a super comfortable place to sit. It's just like a few odds and ends sort of tables around in a pretty cold atmosphere, not to besmirch it, but it's just more of a takeout place that has some sandwich, some tables you can sit at if you want to wharf your sandwich there. During the pandemic, that was no longer an option. So I got into this habit of going to Tubbs mostly on Thursdays, not always, but, you know, once every couple of weeks I'd go to Tubbs. I would get my sandwich and I found a place that's about a five to ten minute drive away from Tubbs. It's a secret little place that I like to go park my car and look at Lake Washington. Right. And then also it's kind of near the Burke Gilman Trail. So sometimes I have to hide my sandwich when athletic people run by because they're doing so much with their life while I'm just shame eating the hell out of a turkey sandwich. And so anyway, now Tubbs is open again. I can easily go in there, grab my sandwich and sit down at one of those tables and read the newspaper like I always would have. But I don't because I'm in my habit. I have a whole routine around. Oh, did I mention Levitard is a big part of it, right? Like that's my moment where I get my sandwich. I drive to my secret Outlook location. I put on my Levitard show and I sit there for, you know, 20 minutes or whatever it takes me to eat this gigantic sandwich. And like I have no desire to sit in tubs anymore. So in a certain way, you were right. Like the pandemic has changed me in a way that like I this is my routine now.

I think that's that's nice. So that sounds really I love those little kind of moments of life. And I'm also a very kind of ritualistic person. Like this sounds like I'm trying to humble brag or point out that I have been exercising more of late. But, you know, when I do my run in the morning, I then I have this big wall calendar behind me. And on the days when I've done the run, I give myself a red X. But I only do it when the intro music is playing to the show. So I'm in here. I've done my run. I've taken a shower. I'm dressed for the day. Previously, I would have had my cup of.

coffee now i have my peach bubble water and when the music starts playing i walk over to the calendar because i have a very long leash on these headphones i walk over to the calendar and i give myself a red x while it's playing and i think about that moment all morning long when i don't want to go on the run i think but then i'll get but i'll get to do my red x during the intro and when i'm jogging i'm thinking i can't wait to be home and do my red x i know that's a slightly different ritual but i just i very much identify with what you're talking about about having some little moment that you're sort of like that's going to be great when i do that and then you'd

like to you know enact those moments i have a similar calendar but instead of a big red x i put a little sticker on the day and it's on the days that i don't wet the bed did i just make you did you have a lot around i think i had i think when i was a very little kid i did have a calendar like that did you have a no wedding the bed calendar i'm talking like when you were a kid Like 15, 16 years old

Yeah, right I don't think You know I don't remember I don't think I had something like that And you'd have to ask my parents If I was, you know Pretty good I do have I have a vivid memory of wetting the bed When I was a little kid once Because I was having a dream about peeing Yeah And then I remember waking up and realizing Oh, that was happening in real life My dreams are coming true But it's not the way I imagined Yeah, not in a good way I remember that I also have I've told this story many times on the show my most indelible memory of pants wedding was when I was in kindergarten going attending pillar of fire actually was preschool was pillar no maybe kindergarten anyway pillar of fire Christian school where the teacher mrs. foreigner was her name and she was a real battle axe and I was doing this worksheet and I was had to pee so bad and she said you have to finish this page of the worksheet before you can go And then I just went in my pants. And then I remember later that day being at the Burger King on Aurora with my mom. And my mom said, it smells like somebody went potty in their pants. And I said, not me. Better check the change jar. Yeah, exactly. Like I had I had really internalized to just deny, deny, deny at a young age.

I hate that story. You've told it before. Like I really I don't know, man. I don't know what it's like to be a teacher. I don't know what it's like to be a teacher in the 80s, certainly. But, like, that's one of those things where, like, I understand some kids will misbehave and take advantage and kids are always looking to get out of class. Like, I was a kid once, too. I know that we would, you know, hey, can I use the restroom as just a way of getting out of class? I understand that. But also that when a kid has to go so bad that he ends up going in his pants, it sort of seems like borderline abusive. I don't know, man.

Well, I mean, we have a lot of teachers that listen to the show and a lot of amazing teachers. And my sister's a teacher. It's an incredibly important profession, and it takes a really special person who wants to take on that challenge. This lady was not—maybe she was long ago. Maybe she was right for the job, but she was very wrong for this job. She would wail on us. I remember one time I picked up a—we'd have show and tell, and my friend Jeremy had brought this painted rock for his show and tell, and it was like sitting on her desk and I went up and I picked it up after class and she whacked me so hard with a ruler on my hands saying you don't pick things up you know without asking like she was just I told you the other weird thing we she made us cut all the UPC codes off of all of our stuff that we would bring for lunch wait what yeah so she this is my you know this is my memory from 40 years ago now but what I remember it being was something having to do with she had diabetes and something about she would get a free checkup if she brought in X number of UPC codes. There was some reason, and it had to do with some medical situation where she wanted to collect all of the UPC codes that we had. Also, she could have been dealing with mental illness.

I was going to say, because of some of the other wackadoo stories you've told me from your youth, I thought it was a paranoia thing. I thought she was like, don't bring UPC. UPC coats into my classroom.

No, when we would get done with our lunch, I remember very specifically giving her like bringing a yogurt container up to her that had a UPC code on it and saying can you use this? And her saying yes. And then her washing the yogurt out and with scissors cutting the UPC code the piece of the yogurt cup that had the UPC code on it. I don't know what she was doing with them but for some reason she was collecting them and we would give them to her. So there was a lot of weirdness going on That old pillar of fire Now what was that weird school Where also once my mom brought me When we weren't having school So I just spent

all day there just hanging out on the playground by myself um now it's this beautiful home that somebody uh you know bought the building and then just turned it into their home and it's like a

pretty dope house they're right off of green lake um you know i feel like what i'm about to bring up is it must have been talked about on the show before um and i feel like i've even googled this before because it makes no sense to me that i look it up and then i forget what the truth is but i believe my parents are still collecting like soda can tabs you know the little tabs uh-huh on the top they have a bucket in their garage last time i visited which has been years now because of the pandemic and everything although i'm hoping to go again soon in the next couple of months but um they are they recycle their cans they have one of those can crushers in their garage you ever see one of those they they're like yes i love those oh god those are so satisfying Yeah, my dad's got, like, a big honking one. You crush the can. But first, you pull the tab off, and they collect them, and they drop them off at, I don't know if it was a church or a nonprofit or something, because supposedly those tabs can help raise money for something. Yeah, they're a higher grade of aluminum than the rest of the can.

Is this true? Yeah. This is true. Okay, then where do you take them? I'm at the Ronald McDonald House, Durham and Wake Pop Tab Collection Program. Little things can make a big difference. You can help support the Ronald McDonald House of Durham in North Carolina. Wow. Getting a lot of North Cacolac references on the shows today. By collecting the little tabs you pull up to open soda, soup, or other aluminum cans, the funds generated from recycling these aluminum gems helps offset the house's expenses.

Interesting. So I don't think they're doing it for Ronald McDonald House, but if there is clearly a value there, they are doing it for another organization. I wonder if you take it someplace different to recycle it than just your average recycle center.

This is so helpful, this Ronald McDonald House website. By the way, I'm sure most folks know this, but Ronald McDonald House, an amazing organization that just does really incredible work helping folks who are dealing with cancer, particularly childhood cancer, and giving them somewhere to live that's near the hospital and a bunch of other resources. Anyway, why do you only collect the tabs from the cans? They say, although the whole aluminum can is valuable, the tab is cleaner and smaller, making it easier to collect in large quantities than whole cans. The tab of a standard soda can is made of high-quality, high-grade aluminum. By itself, it doesn't mean much, but when you pull together, pop tabs add up and become a valuable donation. Over $10,000 a year is raised through this program. I love hearing people call it pop.

I grew up calling it pop, and now it sounds so foreign to me, but that's what I grew up calling it.

Yeah, I guess we don't do that in the Northwest, do we? But this is Carolina. So they're doing it in Carolina. They're doing it in Ohio. You said soda?

Is the West the only holdout? Is that what you said, soda?

Yeah.

Yeah, I would say soda. I think New England is soda. Because I think I first learned that pop was de classe when I moved to New Hampshire. People were like, pop? We say soda. So I think for a while I was saying soda pop, which is kind of a nice. I like saying the full word. Yeah, soda pop. You sound like a kid in a 1950s ad. Exactly.

I'll have one soda pop, please, sir.

Exactly. And I have a slingshot Hanging out in my back pocket

Here I go once again With the email Every week I hope that it's from a female No man It's not from a female

We've already done A considerable number of emails On the show today So I don't know Maybe just like one more Or a V-mail Before we get out of here

Yeah let's do a voicemail And also I'll just give you a heads up

I've got to Ski-daddle in like 10 minutes I have to do an interview With Nebraska Public Media For their arts show because this weekend LiveWire is debuting in Nebraska.

Oh, nice. Congrats. Thank you. Let's do two quick voicemails, both about shopping. I love the fact that I went to one department store in the past seven years, and it has created days upon days of content and emails and voicemails. But I was talking about the dress shirt that I bought a few weeks ago and how I had to try on various dress shirts in the Macy's, And I felt terrible because I kept, you know, taking these pristine packages that, you know, these shirts are folded up tight in plastic. And then there's a bunch of pins in there and all kinds of labels. And you have to destroy the whole damn thing just to put it on. You put it on. Your fat belly sticks out. And then you're like, well, I can't use this shirt. And now I've burned it. Like, what can you do? How do you ever fold this up again?

It's so involved, the number of pins that are in one of those shirts. It's like 20 pins or something.

Yeah, I started counting. I think it actually is, I think actually eight pins or something, which is not nothing. And we were wondering, like, what happens? Do they just go in a hangar after that and nobody has that experience? Do they have professional folders in the store to put it all back together? Who knows? Amy knows. Hi, this is Amy from Memphis.

I shortly worked for Joseph A. Bank for about two years as a merchandiser, and I can tell you that when you take all those pins out of every single shirt, there's, like, two people who know exactly how to fold that back together, and there's actually spare parts to, like, that perfectly packaged little thing so that you can put everything back together like it never looked touched. It was me and Manny. That's who did it. It was Manny and I. Yeah.

All right. There you go. So if anybody's wondering who folds the shirts back together, it's Manny and Amy in Memphis.

That is, I mean, I guess it just, it sort of is what it is, right? Like, that's just, you have to have, because, I mean, the alternative would be, what, do you send the shirt back to Van Heusen or whatever?

It's like, you've got one on a hanger, which was my theory, maybe, like, once out of the package, then it goes on a hanger, and you can buy it that way. But no, it all goes back together. And this is the killer app here that I wasn't thinking of. They have spares of everything. So let's say you're Macy's. You order a batch of shirts. That batch probably comes with, like, a whole thing of re-put-em-togethers, you know? Yes. That's what they call them. All right, one more thing on shopping because then you've got to get out of here, but it would be nice to tie up this segment. We were talking about buy one, get one free, as I said growing up, and now it's been shortened to BOGO around these parts, buy one, get one. You and I are both frustrated by that because, yes, if you purchase one thing, you get one thing. It should be BOGOF, buy one, get one free, or, as you say, buy one, get two would also solve the problem. Well, we have a listener who saw this play out in another country.

Hey, friendos. Andrea here. Grew up in the Bay City of Port Townsend, but I also lived in South Korea for about five years. and I just wanted to chime in on the BOGO buy one get one free thing because in Korea stuff like that it's called like one plus one so let's say they're selling you know Snickers bars buy one get one free they'll have a little one plus one sign and I thought it was cute because they even say that like in Korean you know one plus one or you could have one plus two you know buy one get two free whatever or so it's a lot more customizable um anyway i just thought you might enjoy that little fun fact some intelligence uh for your

life power out thank you andrea um there you go yeah that is a it seems a little cleaner and more um adaptable so yeah thank you andrea for checking in with that and intelligence for your life i like that that's cute one plus one yeah one plus one one plus two although bogo is

fun to say i mean i understand why it's become so popular i'm a because i'm a bogo stickler Yeah I mean I think it's fun and flirty And like it looks good in print So I can understand The rise of BOGO But it is to me a little bit It's a little bit inaccurate

It wasn't funny and I'm not defending it But I just want you to know that I was trying to make a BOGO stick joke There are not enough BOGO stick jokes in the world I'm doing my part by trying to add more They're not all going to be winners everybody

You know I was really into BOGO sticking When I was a kid You'd be unsurprised to hear that That was when they finally – because the pogo stick, for a long time, there was the kind of 1950s pogo stick that was just kind of metal. It was on a spring, and it was like as soon as you were even a – again, sorry about the ambulances. As soon as you were even just like a middle school kid, you could kind of like – it was like too much for the spring. Like you didn't get a good bounce. And then sometime around when I was in middle school They started making these pogo sticks Where the spring was like Really strong So it was like You could really go high And you could be like a big middle school kid And bounce on this thing And get a ton of air I think they had them My grade school was really hell bent On injuring the students Between the unicycles and the pogo sticks But I was really into the pogo stick for a while

Well that's what I was going to say It's kind of a gateway drug to the unicycle I feel like they're in a family there somehow.

There's definitely, yeah, there's a connection there. I have a request.

Because we only have a couple of days of September left, I know I played it for music for your weekend at some point earlier this summer, but can we play September Girls by Big Star to go out?

Yeah, man. Two more chances to do it. Any Big Star is always welcome on this program, as far as I'm concerned. All right, that's going to do it for today's show. Thanks, everyone, for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Until then Have a great Wednesday Go Mariners Go eat a Bregel And please remember No mountain too tall And good luck to all

Got it bad

September girls I don't know what How can I deny What's inside Even though I'll keep away

Maybe we'll love All our days The Sundance boys got it bad The Sundance boys got it bad I get too bad Late at night That's the time she makes me cry Who else she likes to go to me

So then I was like, screw it, Grandma. I'm gonna become a street artist, yo. I mean, most people see a wall, and they just see a wall. I look at a wall, and I see, like, a goat in a backpack. Right. Like a ninja handing out cheeseburgers.

Whoa.

A chill alien, you know?

Well, who doesn't see a chill alien? That's my question.

A lot of people.

A lot of people. It's sad. Power out.