Muse

Attention everyone. Hello. Yes, I just want you to know that this is not my decision, but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss work-associated things. And you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future, if I want to say something funny or witty or do an impression, I will no longer ever do any of those things. Does that include that's what she said?

Mm-hmm. Yes. Wow, that is really hard. You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...

That's what she said.

Michael.

Michael. Michael, please.

TBTL. All right, everybody. Who's ready to laugh? I can't hear you. That's not true, of course. But cheer louder. Yeah. What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Daffy Duck. I have a picture of him taped in my mirror.

Okay, what do you see next to Daffy Duck?

Ryan Gosling.

Can you imagine doing a podcast for 10 and a half, 11 years?

I'd feel terrible.

He's really having trouble keeping his balance. He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny.

You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty, would you? Put my headphones on, and here we go. I'm so excited. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Two guys who start at the bottom, and with a lot of hard work, continue along the bottom, and finally end up at the bottom.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky, above Portland, Oregon, where it's looking like it might rain today. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. And the temperature is dropping rapidly. Sorry about my voice, by the way. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. I thoroughly blew it out this weekend attending Seattle Mariners games and trying to root on the Hometown Nine.

It was the best of times. It was the blirst of times.

We'll give you a full report. I'm trying to remedy it by drinking hot water with honey in it. It tastes like soot and hot water. I'm hooked. Because I can't drink real coffee either, although I actually slipped up and did this weekend.

I did it.

Not sure if maybe I'm getting some extra heartbeats today thanks to that. I'm not quite sure about it. But I do know this is episode 3,524 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

Well, that was Swift. OZ Media, which most of us didn't know existed seven days ago, has now announced it's closing down.

Shut it down, America.

And there's new reporting about just what a kind of weird work environment it was there. This, of course, the place that was the media company that was caught impersonating someone from YouTube on a conference call with Goldman Sachs. And things unraveled quickly from there. So we will bring you up to speed on what's going on with that. Also, researchers say they can figure out through your DNA if you were in the womb with a twin at some point, a twin that never ended up making it. which is, that's, I don't know, kind of unsettling, I think, to think about. Those scientists better check their hypotenuses, dude. Or is it? I don't know. Anyway, we've got that, plus we've got emails and V-mails, and this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show, may be best known for his depictions of the tall ship. He's got like every meme ever produced on the internet. He can knock us out with his memes. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I assume we should talk about The Weeknd and your voice and all of this, but when you get tired of talking, when your voice finally needs a break, I can tell you later on about how I will be doing my best imitation of Mario and Luigi later on today.

I still can't believe that we were not considered for those roles.

Would you be the Mario or the Luigi? I feel like you'd be the Mario. You're kind of the head honcho, sort of, which is good. I actually, no offense to you or any other Marios out there, but I kind of prefer Luigi. I used to like to play as Luigi if I was playing with another person.

I guess I forgot about that. So you could actually assign yourself, or would just going second make you Luigi on Mario Brothers?

My memory is, you couldn't just choose Luigi if you were playing by yourself. But if you were playing with somebody else, I think the second player just defaults to...

luigi and i liked it i just thought maybe it's because it was a little bit different but i liked the green i thought the green really popped i don't understand what sort of what part of the

story of these plucky plumbers and their run-ins with koopa troopers and the like uh and bowser i don't understand what still needs to be investigated about that narrative you mean as

As far as more products, it is a new one coming out. I wasn't sure about that. Now that you say that, that sort of rings a bell.

Yeah, I think Chris Pratt is, let's see, and I forget who the other... Well, there's always more story to be told, obviously. Well, the princess is always in another castle. Right, exactly. It just keeps happening. I mean, fool me once, right? Right. Fool me a third time. I'm trying to find the story here, but let's see, Chris Pratt. but I don't want to activate some weird YouTube video.

Yeah.

It's one of the more frustrating things about this job. Of course, people with real jobs are like, this doesn't even rank in the top ten. But a frustrating thing about this job is when we're trying to find information sometimes, we end up getting routed to some weird YouTube video that's just all about getting the clicks. So, yeah. He is going to be the voice of Mario, and I don't know who the other person is going to be.

No, okay, so it is going to be animated. They're just going to be doing the voices. That's interesting, not live action. Well, I will be, here's the payoff, I will be live action fixing the sink today as a leak sprouted last night after a day of sports watching and beer drinking. Suddenly my sink started leaking. Really? And I'm like, oh, well, I'll just tighten it up a little bit. It's very simple. I'm not a plumber.

Watch a YouTube video like the handyman here that told me to do when I said I was having problems with my sink.

And I don't even think I need to do that. This is just a very simple contraption under the sink. Like, ooh, contraption, trap being the key word there. You know, there's a straight pipe that comes down out of the sink and then it goes into a little plastic trap part and then back up, you know, the backflow pipe or whatever you would call it. Again, didn't go to school for this stuff. But it seemed pretty straightforward. I've even taken that apart to unclog it before. It was a very disgusting thing being a renter and just having these pipes just kind of poop out other people's just slime. It was really – it was one of the nastiest things I've ever done, yet also weirdly satisfying. satisfying. Well, that's not what happened last night. It just started leaking. I go to tighten it up and it won't tighten. And I realize, oh, this pipe is just rotted. Like the part in like the like... Man, it is nasty out there. It's nasty. And it's got like the little like a little washer, like a specific little plastic washer to seal it up. And that thing is just broken into pieces. The pipe itself, I mean, it's probably from like 1930 and nobody was taking care of this stuff. So I had a choice. I could like text or call my property managers and say like can you get on this and then have them say well we can come over monday at like 5 p.m after work and then we have a washer for that particular

section of pipe it's in a different rental that you need to go over and get it right exactly so

i was like you know what probably makes sense for me to just put a bucket under the sink for now which i did last night and then um after the show today i'm just going to be getting my plumber on luke i'm going to be taking these parts to the ace hardware ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks and they really are here is so i'll be going over there with this pipe and saying i'm assuming this is standard can i buy some new stuff can we keep this cheap and uh and i'll be i'll let you know tomorrow how my sync situation is i smell a hey dummies video oh hey dummy good idea um i was calling myself the dummy there i don't know sorry that was aggressive but i wanted to pay off. But yeah, no, that's a good point. Maybe I should take some videos here.

Chris Pratt will be playing the voice of Mario. Luigi will be played by Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny and Forever.

Oh, that's a good Luigi.

Jack Black will be Bowser. And Anya Taylor Joy, who was in the Queen's Gambit, is going to play Peach. Which, I'm not sure if that's... Like, if we're moving along in the in the Mario verse I only know about the like original Super Nintendo version which is I forget what the name of the princess was there but it was you know always for the first whatever eight levels it was like sorry our princess is in another castle is the one that he found I never actually won Mario Brothers either so is the one that

he gets to is she Princess Peach yeah I think I think it's always Peach yeah I think that's the only princess I think it was just regular were you playing it on on the the Super Nintendo I think it was just the Nintendo NES that had Super Mario Brothers it's confusing the The game was Super Mario's, but now I'm – you could make the argument I'm getting too far in the weeds on this, but I will be dressing up.

Do you think the Italian-American community feels it's inappropriate that Chris Pratt, non-Italian, has been cast to play Mario?

How would Tony Soprano feel about that from an Italian rights perspective?

Have you seen –

Have you seen that photo of, like, I guess it was like a sort of a, I guess you could call it a screenshot from, like, the first season of The Sopranos, but it's The Soprano Family. Oh, yeah. And it's like, I think, you know, Tony, like, James Gandolfini was 38. Yeah. And Salco was, like, 36 or something.

It was a freaking gabagoo. I know.

That's so far in my rearview mirror. So troubling. I know. I mean, he also looks old there, I feel like, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just – I've lost all perspective on these things. Like, he does not look like whatever I conceive a 38-year-old man to look like. That's not what James Gandolfini looks like in season one of The Sopranos.

Yeah, I've lost all perspective on age as well. Other than – I mean, I guess I have two levels. I have kids. Everybody seems like kids to me now. And then –

They say the darndest things.

They really do. Like, here, sir, you dropped your hat. They're very polite, the kids these days. And then I have the people who I think are older than me. Like I even said on the show the other day, and I hesitate to re-say it because it sort of sounds ageist, but, you know, I'm very uncomfortable going to the doctor. And one of the things I like is if my doctor is a bit older than me. And as I age, of course, that becomes a rarer and rarer thing to find, a doctor who's older than me. And I'm thinking of some doctors in my life who I think are older than me, but the thing is they could be Gandolfini-ing it up. Like, I'm thinking about them. They may be my age or younger. They just look like, you know, like I've lost all perspective of how old I look.

Dr. Dre, Marcus Welby.

Who's Marcus Welby?

He's a television doctor. Dr. J, Julius Erving. He's older than me. Trying to think of other doctors that are older than you. Dr. Pepper.

Oh, yeah. Dr. Pepper has been around for a while. How is your voice there, Luke?

I need a voice doctor. Yeah. Well, I mean, we were all there together on Saturday night for one of the most fun baseball games I've ever been to in my life. And I used to watch Frazier. I came up to Seattle and we got the whole gang together and and watch that really amazing game where the Mariners came back in the bottom of the eighth. And I mean, we were just just pretty much screaming our lungs out from the first pitch. And every time there'd be two strikes, we'd be hollering. And then just to the intensity, just ratcheted up as the Coors lights ratcheted up. And also as the game got, you know, towards the end. And I kind of had a bad feeling that I was doing a real numero on my voice. I woke up Sunday morning. I stayed over at Camaro Kevin Anita's house. And I woke up Sunday morning and I was actually driving over to Green Lake to do a little yawg. And I recorded myself because I was like, this may be because I got tickets for the Sunday game as well. And I was like, this may be the best of my voice sound. This may be my only, the only thing I can do on the show is just play this recording on Monday. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Testing, testing. This is my voice on Sunday morning after quite a wild Saturday night at the Mariners game. Um, thing is, I, uh, also secured tickets for me and Camaro Kev to go to today's game. So this may be the high point for my speaking ability for the next few days. Uh, so I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Maybe I'll even be playing this on the show on Monday as I, um, pantomime the program, my half of it to Andrew or stage whisper it or something. I don't know, but just know that my voice died for a good cause Okay Bye So the real question is, after applying hot water and honey to the situation And really trying to kind of like, you know, bring my voice back this morning Is it any better today than it is on that recording?

No, I think it maybe sounded better on the recording But also the circumstances were different I think in doing the show with the music going and everything You're kind of talking on top. You're being more announcer-y, you know, as opposed to that. Now, let me ask you this. So what ended up happening yesterday? I got a message from you like you kind of shot it out to the fun, love and criminal text chain saying that you weren't at the game, but you were at a bar near the game, but you had tickets in case things may be turned around. You could run in there in case like the Mariners did end up having like kind of a celebration yesterday instead of a quiet end to their season.

Well, what happened was Kamara Kevin, I made the agreement a Saturday night, late in the night, that if I could get my hands on some tickets, I mean, the game was sold out, but if I could get my hands on some tickets for Sunday's game, that we would go together. So I did that, got a couple tickets on StubHub, and then we got up on Sunday morning and then we.

We went down to the stadium, and what you remember, and if anybody who was there on Saturday night remembers, the lines for the concessions were unbelievably long because they don't have enough people working at the stadium. And that just has to do with, obviously, what's going on in the world right now that so many people are short-staffed. But when you put 40,000 people in a stadium that was probably averaging 4,000 people, it was just impossible to get a beer or a hot dog without committing like an hour of your time, which is like a big portion of the game. So we were walking to the stadium And right as the first pitch was about to happen And we both realized we're hungry And so we thought what we'll do is we'll duck into This little restaurant That's called actually Tony's

Hey where's the freaking gabagoo

Actually it used to be called Henry's And it has this very whiz bang thing At the bar It's like an ice bar It's like always cold And so if you place your beer on this while you're sitting at the bar Your beer never gets warm It's always cold on this metal thing that kind of rims the bar. So anyway, we went in there to just get a little bite of food. And we were both kind of like, man, I don't know if I'm going to consume any drinks today. Because last night was a late night and was pretty active in that department. And then, of course, the first pitch to Shohei Otani, he hits a home run. So we're now sitting in the bar next to the stadium. We've ordered some food. And we decided to have a drink in there because, I don't know, we were sad. and that always fixes things and then just a just a sort of series of different groups came in all people who had tickets to the game but all who were in the bar like getting a drink before they went over to the stadium or getting some food because of what we've already talked about the other thing was there were so many sports activities going on yesterday there was the Seahawks football game there was for you the Browns game there were other baseball games that had implications for the mariners and we sort of realized at some point that being in the stadium also by the way in the nosebleeds like these were very very very uh you know far tickets that i had gotten us um being in the nosebleeds at the mariners game where their spotty cell service was almost the worst place to be figuring out what was going on yesterday in the sports universe a sports bar that had a million tvs in it was much more effective so we just kept saying if the mariners can get close because they kind of went down early they had a little comeback But we just kept saying, if they can make this interesting, we're going to go over there. And then they just kept kind of not being able to get back in contention in the game. And so we just ended up spending the entire afternoon next to the stadium, watching the Mariners lose on one TV, watching the Seahawks win on another TV, and making friends with the bartender, Sam, who had a surprisingly encyclopedic take on the movie Holiday Inn, The Bing Crosby movie Which also has a lot of racist stuff in it We were talking about I guess there's a lot of blackface in the movie I've never seen it Camaro Kev was describing the plot to me And then Sam the bartender came over and goes Are you talking about Holiday Inn? And Camaro said yes I am And then they proceeded to have like a college level Like a college film class level conversation About Holiday Inn

I don't even know if I know of that movie And I like old movies So at first I thought you were recommending it And then sounds like, well, not recommending it.

Well, we were I mean, it's it's one of those things where I guess, actually, if you have the Blu-ray version of it, which Kevin does, it has a disclaimer now. You watch it that plays before the film that just basically says, hey, there's a lot of racist stuff in this.

Sure. Interesting. This is here. Let me go to the like, literally, I'm going to take this to the least interesting part. But did you say that it's not Henry's Tavern anymore? Did you say it's something else now? I'm kind of surprised to hear that.

It's Tony's. I know. I thought that Henry's seemed like it was always pretty popular. I actually very much liked it. There's a recording studio above Henry's, like in that building called Clatter and Din, where I used to do a lot of work in Seattle. Oh, interesting.

And that's the place with the really big kind of beer garden outdoor place too, right? So a nice, like a nice sunny summer days before Mariners games. I think I met up with some listeners there before maybe a TBTL event. In fact, randomly, a listener, I want to say his name is Tim, just, I think, tweeted at me or something a photo from several years ago from that exact beer garden before we headed over to watch the Mariners game. Happy memories there.

So it was a fun but weird Sunday. It was also sad to see them lose, but I have to say, I think it was sort of better that we weren't in the stadium because I think it would have just been too gutting. although I this is a weird thing to say but after Saturday night and by the way we're going to do a no point later so I'm not trying to turn this into a sports conversation but I just kind of emotionally felt like Saturday night was so much fun getting to be there with my friends I saw my brother Sammy who I haven't seen in forever and he's got this beautiful new baby Violet um I'm just so happy for them anyway I um it was such a high point for me Thank you. like of watching a sporting event in years, in decades of my life, that it was just kind of like, I don't know, Sunday was like whatever happens, happens. And if we would have won, I don't even know what the other teams ended up doing if we would have gotten into a one-game playoff. But that would have then been probably, you know, like I would have rather that they got to go to the playoffs. But there was just something that felt fine about it to me. But I don't know if that was just because I was in a bar next to the stadium drinking Coors Lights.

Yeah, you know, I think maybe I should keep my cold takes on this maybe for the no point. But yeah, as I was watching the Seahawks game yesterday and the Browns game and and the Mariners game all at the same time, I felt a little guilty. Like, am I not a big enough Mariners fan that that one was like kind of the tertiary screen or or the kind of the secondary screen? But I mean, I think it has to do with the pace of baseball. I think it's easier to have that as the kind of the more background game. But also, we just got we got everything. We squeezed so much out of this Mariners season that we didn't expect to squeeze out. And it felt it felt victorious to me. And I didn't think that as if the Mariners had squeaked out another win and the other teams that needed to lose if they had lost, which they didn't. Um, but you know what I mean? Even if, if the Mariners had lived another day, it would have just been one more day. And then it would have been another one, one game playoff game. And it's, I don't think they would have made it. It started to feel like we were putting off the inevitable, um, you know, and not, and that sounds like such a weak fandom. Like I wanted them to make it. I'm so excited about next year, but I just think that we got so much out of the season. Saturday night, like you said, was amazing. Um, just during a huge part of the game on Saturday, just, I happen to be away from my seats. because that park is just so good. I was standing for a part of the game just, like, behind our seats.

I was wondering – can I ask something? I was wondering if there were times where you wanted to just be, like, a little bit alone with your thoughts and your, you know, whatever, your pacing or something because there was one time where, yeah, we lost you for a while and I thought maybe you just –

No, that was the line, dude. I had to stand in line for, like, two and a half innings. It was – I think I stood in line for one hot dog and one beer. I bought two because I wasn't –

I bought one peanut, I bought one Cracker Jack.

No, but I ended up getting two beers because I was like, well, I'm not waiting in this line again. I mean, I went up at one point. So our friend Hannah was also there, just one section away, coincidentally. So I went and I talked to her for maybe half an inning. And I'm like, all right, I'm going to try. These lines down here are bananas. I mean, just like wrapping. Like you couldn't even see the end of the line from where the concession place was. So I'm like, maybe if I go up to the view level, which is like kind of the top floor of the stadium. I thought, you know, the crowd looks maybe a little bit thinner up there. Maybe I could maybe find a life hack. So I climb all those stairs. I'm not very in shape. I've got my mask on. I'm huffing and puffing. I get to the top, and I see this incredibly long line. But I'm like, eh, I think it might be a little bit better than it was down by our seats. And I've already made the trek up here. So I get in line, and then it just, like, doesn't move. It takes me about – I start listening to the game on my phone because they have TVs around, like, angled, four people waiting in lines but they've never seen lines this long before right so i'm waiting in line to get to the part of the line where i can start seeing the tvs again i'm listening to the game on my uh just on my phone on my app which is you know like at least 30 seconds behind so i will hear the crowd react to something before i hear what they're reacting to and yeah i just you know at a certain point maybe i should have bailed i really wanted a hot dog the last few

trips to the ballpark it looked yummy when you finally got it i was i was jealous that there's

still not a decent veggie equivalent of that it's weird that um you know i did i went to a lot of games this year probably the most ever for me you know less than 10 i'm not making sound like i had season tickets or something but like you know i i love you know me that's my i love t-mobile park it's like my favorite place that isn't my home right it's just like it's i just love it um and i so because i was there so much this season i didn't put a lot on like this is my one game so I have to get all my favorites you know how like if you're maybe the first ball game of the season you're like I gotta get my hot dog I gotta get this I gotta get whatever whatever I always get but you know after a while I was there a lot I just sort of stopped getting hot dogs I was like I'll be back next time whatever but for the final game I just really wanted a hot dog and I realized I'm not gonna have one of these for a while and it was what I was hungry for so I kind of latched onto that like if I had gone and gotten some fish and chips or something maybe the lines wouldn't have been as long but i also would have ended up with fish and chips um so anyway so i dedicated myself to it but yeah it was the longest line i've ever stood in and i missed a big chunk of the game but i watched it on tv i guess standing next to strangers so was it immoral what i did

or just poor form when i got to the game because i was coming up uh from portland and i had to drop my stuff at camara kev's house and then i was going down to visit with addy a little bit on Saturday afternoon. It was funny.

I've already texted with you and Chris about this, but she and I were having some lunch. And she said, she goes, I know you've already seen this article because everybody's talking about it. But this thing in The New Yorker about everybody being online famous. And I was so excited to know the person who wrote that piece, which is pretty sad. That was like, not only have I read it, I know the person who wrote it. I did absolutely nothing to help. I know. I'm taking some residual pride from it.

What sense of pride? I know. Well, Chris was written by Chris Hayes. I don't know if you said that. And he actually texted it to us, I think, like right after a publish, which was felt like that's kind of like an honor. That's nice. It's like, hey, I think you guys would like this thing I wrote. I'm just like, you're the most famous person in the world. He is. Is he the most famous person in the world, Chris Hayes? He is, right? Yes. Yeah. Hold on. I'm good. Yeah. Yep. Looks right. Right there.

Chris Pratt and then Chris Hayes. He's definitely in the top two most famous Chris's that we know.

What voice is he doing in the Mario movie? Do we know yet? I'll look that up after.

Yeah, he is doing that little guy that rides on a cloud and then throws the things down. Oh, I hate that guy. No offense, Chris.

Yeah, that guy's a bastard. Also, the sun. I hate the sun. Oh, that might be Super Mario Brothers 3. Remember the sun that would shoot stuff down? Good. Good. I'm glad you don't know that pain. Oh, anyway, when Chris sent us his thing, I was like, oh, that's really sweet. And then when I started to see it circulate everywhere, I was like, yeah, like I had some weird sense of ownership over it that I had absolutely no sense of ownership of, you know, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, my friend wrote that. I already read that. I don't need to click on that again.

Exactly. Well, anyway, so I was chatting with Addy. We had a nice time. Then I came down to the game, got there, you know, right before the game started. I was very excited to see the first pitch, but I was also very invested in having cold beer in my hand. And so I looked at the lines. i think i even started to wait in one line for like 10 minutes and i was like this isn't even moving like this is crazy yeah um and so i then approached a kid and by a kid i mean some guy in his 20s with his buddies and i said would you like a free beer and he said sure and i gave him 20 bucks i said you buy yourself one and you buy me one and he said gotcha and uh and he did and i

thought that was quite a life hack buddy so did you go you're like i'm sitting at the seat bring

it to me or no i just stood it was they were very close to the front and then i just stood i kind of i just loitered awkwardly um for about five ten minutes until they got their stuff and then he brought it over to me and we cheers and we said go mariners and i thought i had really i just thought it was a pretty elegant solution to the problem i mean albeit an expensive one but i was i was pretty proud of this but then i thought later is that actually poor form of me because it's it's a version of me cutting the line i guess i mean because that guy would have ordered one fewer beers so therefore the delay that was created even if it seems only a few seconds that delay that was created for people behind him in the line is because of me so i'm that's i guess you could say that's a sort of a selfish move on my part yeah if i was if i was in

that line and i was like behind them and i witnessed that i'd probably be annoyed but i'm also but you know me i'm also like mr rule follower and those are the types of things that annoy me right especially if i had been waiting in line for an hour as you know yeah let me put it this way if that had happened to me right up stairs after i'd waited in line literally for i think an hour maybe it was 45 minutes it felt like an hour um to see that i probably would have been irked i don't think i would have said anything but i think i would have been irked as a as a line

waiter real polite beer real polite speaking of speaking of cutting in line i had the weirdest thing happened uh as i was about to come up to seattle on saturday so i uh was swinging through the starbucks in my neighborhood to grab a cup of coffee for the road uh that one was going to be i believe decaf that was decaf which they don't have decaf drip i had to have an americano made but i've told you about this starbucks before it has this unfortunate thing where you can enter the parking lot from two different streets and it's not clear which way is the official way to enter the drive-through line so whichever side the line starts snaking behind which is just kind of basically a coin toss like if if you know if there's if the line is full and then someone comes in from say grand street then they start making the line go that way then if you come in from the other street you have to just hope that someone will let you zipper merge and it's it's a very very anxiety producing situation for me because there's no clear set of rules and uh And it's like, you know, we talk about this a lot on the show, but it's like when you when you come into a restaurant and you put your name on the list, but you don't think they're checking the names or something like this high anxiety that something unfair is going to happen, which I guess is kind of ironic considering I sort of cut the line for a beer. But anyway, I pull into this parking lot and considering it's a Saturday at like 10, miraculously, there is not much of a line going into the.

drive-thru and what i realize is if i pull in right now i can avoid any kind of weirdness of if a line forms or if a car comes from the other the other direction and then like i have to get in behind them but then what's going to happen after that now there was a car in the parking lot but it was like almost like it was in line but it was very far away from the entrance to the drive-thru so it was in the parking lot it was sort of parked or it was idling i guess but it was not going into the drive-thru it was just sitting there and of course people do this kind of stuff all the time i i thought well maybe this person is on the phone confirming their order of the coffee they're going to get for someone at home maybe they're waiting for somebody who ran into the store uh to get coffee they just they were not it was unclear if they were in the line or not in fact i think anyone looking at it would say well this they don't seem to be in line because they're very far away from the entrance to the drive-thru and they're not moving towards it slowly so i was like listen you snooze you lose we snossed and we done lost so i was like i'm going for this so i you know i and also there's plenty of room for me to go around on to the right of rather to the left of them so i passed the left of them and then got into the drive-thru ordered my decaf drip was told we have no decaf drip ordered my decaf americano they said okay and then as i'm starting to pull forward now that car that i passed which had like a uh what kind am i allowed to say middle-aged mom type i don't know uh it had a what appeared to be a woman in her and her maybe grown children um and as after i give my order and as i'm pulling forward i just hear someone yell and i can't place exactly where it comes from jesus doesn't like line cutters in a woman's voice someone in the car yelled out the window really loud jesus doesn't like line cutters and i was so confused because i looked in the rearview mirror and all of their faces were totally neutral they it didn't they weren't looking at me they weren't looking at my rearview mirror they weren't they were doing nothing to try to assess my response i could not for the life of me figure out which one of them yelled it or if it was someone from a different car who was yelling at who i assumed it was at me because they were in behind me they thought i cut the line but it was the weirdest thing because it wasn't like they yelled it and then they were mean mugging me somebody just yelled it a female voice yelled jesus doesn't like line cutters and then i just had to sit in the line for the next five minutes ruminating on that is there is there

any chance it was actually rod or todd flanders who said that because that because i could see those kids voices being mistaken for a woman's voice and that is the most flandersy thing i think anybody's ever heard outside of an episode of the simpsons i was so confused and i wasn't even

i wasn't mad like how dare you what i wanted to do is explain myself like hey i didn't realize you were in line or of course i would not have gone in front of you i thought you were just parked in the parking lot kind of waiting on whatever you were waiting on and i even did i rolled down my window and i kind of leaned back and i just said i didn't realize you were in line no response from them i don't even know if they heard me i was literally tempted to get out of my car and walk back and say hey i'm really sorry if i cut like the the feeling i had internally wasn't anger at being called out it was i felt bad if they if they felt like i cut them i kind of wanted to explain myself but i was also like if you yell jesus doesn't like line cutters and then the guy you know we now know six foot one a six one hundred and ninety pound guy gets out of the car and starts walking back right no no yeah to apologize it's not a good feeling no so So I just stayed in the line, but then I had to just sort of sit with it in the words of Tim and Eric, because I was like, they think that I'm just that thoughtless, which I'm really not. I just was confused about what was going on.

Yeah, no, that's a that's a fascinating story. You had me on the edge of my seat from the moment you started describing the parking lot again. Like that is just – that is just like anxiety. Like all you have to do is describe that loosey-goosey line system for cars and how it has to be reinvented every time somebody starts a new line. And I'm into that story because that is anxiety in a parking lot right there.

Right. A lesser Woody Allen film.

Yes. It's much lesser.

I guess what I could have done, this would have been really – talk about Jesus. this would have been the very Christian approach I guess I could have paid for their coffee I could have started one of those I could have started one of those epic Starbucks

chains that didn't even occur to me and maybe it's not a chain like maybe you can even say just I accidentally cut in front of those people I didn't mean to like get their order but you also said it's a car full of people yeah it was like four

people so but you know I've obviously demonstrated I'm a person who will pay $20 for a beer That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, of the things that I that I spend money on.

Let's say that their whole order was 25 bucks. I mean, that would have, I'll tell you what, that would have seriously, as the Bible says, heaped coals on their head. Like, you know, that's what it says. Love your enemies. It will heap coals on their head. Yeah, right. It would have heaped some serious macchiato coals right on their domes. Right, right, right. Because they're yelling, Jesus doesn't like line cutters. And then the line cutter buys them their coffee. That would have actually probably been a well-spent $25.

Also, and it might have been a way to get, I mean, I don't know. it's not on the employee of the Starbucks to pass along messages in these cases. I don't mean to imply that it should be. But if you happen to say, ah, you know what? I accidentally cut in front of that car in front of me. I didn't know they were in line. I'm going to pay for theirs. Can you just tell me how much it is? There is a chance that message gets back. You don't have to say tell them this message, but there's a chance that that message gets back. And they know it's not just a pay it backwards thing that you're trying to get on King 5 or Coma or whatever in this holiday season with your generosity. but it's just like oh hey that guy said he accidentally cut in front of you so he wanted to get your your coffee could have happened but um i don't know that i would have thought of that

in the moment myself though yeah well i didn't and then i uh got my coffee and i drove up to seattle and had a really fun weekend and again we'll i will always treasure that saturday night game and uh so um yeah we'll talk about the sports side of it more coming up on the no point conversion, which will come down this very channel after today's TBTL posts. Alright, let's take a quick break. This is actually perfect timing because I have laundry going and I think that the washing machine is about to buzz so if that happens during the break it's great timing. We'll thank some donors of the day and we'll do some top stories coming up here on TBTL.

Thank you baby

All right, let's thank some donors of the day. These are the absolute sweethearts who are making TBTL possible with their donations. Lindsay Llewellyn is in Westfield, Indiana. Cool. Rodney Anderson is in beautiful San Antonio, Texas, where I just was, Rodney. Gotta love that.

Watching something that... Oh, you want to hear a quick amazing story story?

Yes.

You know, I've been going back and re-watching these amazing stories. An amazing story story? Yes, an amazing story story. It's not – I need to make this very clear. What I am about to tell you is not an amazing story. It is an amazing stories story that is very boring. But, yeah, I've been going back and watching this, you know, Steven Spielberg show from the 80s that ran two seasons called Amazing Stories. And I think it was rebooted recently. But I've been watching the old stuff. It is really like everything that my midlife crisis needs. It's just like these these fantasy stories with all these like people that I sort of forgotten about from the 80s. And one of the stories is there's this boy who is fighting at the Alamo and it's a grisly battle, of course. And then you start to see like tourists coming through in the middle, like modern 1980s era tourists coming through in the middle of these battle scenes. And suddenly the space time continuum is starting to rupture on this kid as he's both living in the past and the future at the same time. And then he ends up completely in the modern era in the 1980s, where they show you how modern the world is by showing kids watching a Watchmen television on the bus and somebody carrying a boom box. And then eventually he steals a police horse and it doesn't go so great for him. Wow, that's an amazing story. Why did I bring it? Oh, San Antonio.

Yes. Which is where Rodney Anderson is. Hi, Rodney. Thank you, Rodney, for the donation. Sorry for the story. Lori and Robert Hope are in Everett, Washington. Now, did any of the amazing stories unfold in Everett, Washington?

Not that I recall right now, but I'm only like halfway through season one.

Chris Aquino is right here in Portland, Oregon, where amazing stories are unfolding all the time. I watch too many of them out in my window.

Yeah, maybe some less amazing stories would be helpful.

Then when somebody needs an ambulance because the story got too amazing, that has to go right down my street. Steve Ellington is in Alexandria, Virginia. Thank you, Steve, for the support. And then Will Manuel is in beautiful Madison, Mississippi. I almost said Madison, Wisconsin. That was a twist. That was a twist. Yeah, like an amazing story. That's our version of an amazing story on this show. You think I'm going to say Madison, Wisconsin, but instead I say Madison, Mississippi, which is where Will is from. Will, thank you so much for supporting the show, even on days when my voice is a little froggy. Appreciate you And all of our donors Keeping things going By the way We took a picture yesterday Camaro and I did With the Blazin' Bagels sign Andrew

Oh nice Nice

And then I had to try To explain to him Because he's a friend of ours But not a regular listener To the show He was like Why did we just take A picture with that And I was trying to explain It's not the water I was trying to explain Go eat a bread Greggle, and the look of confusion on his face was really interesting, because I was like, if anybody would get this, it'd be Camaro. He hosts his own series of podcasts, he knows you and I very well, but he had the reaction I think that most normal people would, which was, I don't get why that's funny.

Yeah, I get that look a lot.

Hello, and welcome to Top Story. Well, OZ Media has announced that they are disbanding, as it were. Their board of directors announced that they are not going to continue things. This is basically like one week almost to the day from when Ben Smith, the media columnist for The New York Times, wrote a piece about how OZ Media, which claimed to be sort of a content company that made shows and made something called The Carlos Watson Show and had all these other things going on, was the most popular original talk show on Amazon. all these claims that were turned out really not true and then also um they got in trouble for faking a person on a call pretending like it was a guy from youtube who was basically vouching for their success uh when talking to uh somebody from goldman sachs to raise a bunch more money and it turned out it was somebody from the company oz media impersonating somebody at youtube and so that was when things really started to fall apart then the the whole week has just been which is a series of bad news events for them about how all their claims were off about how a lot of people didn't like working there although some did that's the interesting thing i think i made a joke uh which got that beloved kai rizdal response oh which is what you're always going for in this uh twitter game i said is it just me or i can't find any of my oz media stories that I saved on my Quibi, FML, and Kai Rizal's response was, Luke. Luke. Just, that's it, one word. Luke. You got engagement, though. I did get some hashtag engagement from Kai. Now, if I can just get the Brains On team to start interacting with my tweets.

What do you think that means? Let's break it down really quickly, because I've seen that kind of thing. I feel like I know what it means. I feel like I understand it, but can we put words to it?

It feels to me like he is saying that is, like, it's like I made a very bad pun. It's like wah, wah, wah, wah.

But enough to comment, though, because Kairos Dahl sees. Okay, I'm going to ask you another question. How many tweets do you think Kairos Dahl sees in a day? I'm going to put it at.

More than your average human.

Yeah, I'm going to put it around. How many tweets does Kairos Dahl see in a day? A thousand? Do you think a thousand is a fair number there? They go by fast, right?

And here's what we should point out. It's not because he's overly obsessed with Twitter. It's because he probably consumes more information than anybody we know on planet Earth. Yeah. By the way, I'm not dunking here. He also reads 1,000 articles in Barron's. Yeah. So he eats 1,000 eggs a day. He does 1,000 push-ups. Wait, is this Bill Brasky or Kyrie's dog? He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Nobody can eat 50 eggs. No, and honestly, yeah, I mean, the man, I'm sure he just sucks up information, you know, like an information vacuum. So I'm going to put it at about 1,000. And so I'm sure he might interact with maybe one percent of the tweets. And so, you know, so he got I think it means he got a bit of a lull, right? Like it made him stop. It made him grin, but in a very droll way, like your joke was kind of droll. And he was just kind of like, OK, acknowledge. All right. It's like you almost made me laugh there, kiddo. Good on you. Good on you.

Yeah, that's I took it as a positive, albeit kind of like a sort of like side eye. positive kind of like but but not in i didn't feel uh diminished by and i also responded to him feel free to use this on your radio show which i think would have been a dope wonderful power out to marketplace on friday yes and before we get out of here uh just one quick tweet i saw from my colleague luke burbank is it just me why can't i find my oz media stories on my quibi have a great weekend everybody i feel like that would have been a strong ending for friday's show

And honestly, we can just punch that in even for today's show. He doesn't even have to say it. We can just send that tape in, and they can just tag it to the end. Nobody will know.

Why does Kai Risdahl sound like he was screaming for Luis Terenz and drinking whiskey all weekend? Anyway, so OZ Media is no more. Oh, I guess the thing I was going to say is it actually is. It's kind of when something like this happens and it's so spectacular, the instinct is to make fun of it, as I was in that tweet. But also there was, I don't know, like maybe 85 or so people that worked there that actually seemed like they took their jobs really seriously. And that's kind of what's emerging, too, is that there was a lot of people who was a very diverse company and their actual mission was a pretty notable or a pretty noble one, which was they wanted to basically cover stories and write about things that the larger media institutions.

were not paying enough attention to uh things going on with like human rights in uh in in africa is one story that was cited by somebody in this this uh new york magazine piece that jeff wise wrote um but the problem was there is a reason why the main networks were were not covering a lot of these stories is because there's not there was not unfortunately a huge amount of interest from the reading public so one of these people i mean the standards were apparently incredibly high if you were trying to get a job as a freelancer there uh for oz media for writing up stories or whatever you would have to submit 25 or 30 like spec pieces um and then apparently uh in particular this carlos watson guy was a very very tough to work for well he could be really nice but then he'd get really mad at people and also literally at one point said why do people need to sleep this is a startup it's not for the week so he like they tell stories of like people getting emailed on christmas eve just to see if they're checking their emails like it was a very kind of intense environment and some people were you know putting in these really incredible hours because they felt like the mission was was a good one um but increasingly over time it sounds like things just started to get weird where like so then carlos watson says we're gonna basically they went from being like we're gonna be a media organization that breaks news and everything to just being like we are just gonna exist to promote this show of mine called the carlos watson show which is why you've seen pictures of him in seattle i've seen pictures of him in LA uh people have seen him in New York it's like they're still on buses in fact

again to reference Chris who's texting us about this after we talked about it on the show um he sent a picture of a New York City bus that has I have the picture in front of me right here and it says uh Amazon Prime's first talk show Carlos Watson the most diverse lineup on TV new episodes every weekday available on Amazon Prime and YouTube and like I thought they were going to take those down i thought that they said like yeah that you know there's yes it's on amazon prime but it's through this thing where anybody can upload anything to amazon prime you know or almost anybody can it's not like an amazon prime original or anything like that and i thought that they basically kind of apologized said well it's not untrue but we get it so we're going to take them down yet there's still buses driving around new york city with that with those claims

yeah they they also engaged in a lot of sort of like compliment laundering where they would Take an ad out in a newspaper And say something about themselves And then they would Later they would Write that compliment They would reprint that and they would attribute it to the New York Times They would buy a page in the New York Times Saying Carlos Watson is the best interviewer ever And then Since Dick Cavett And then they would run it in the New York Times They would pay the New York Times for ad space And then they would later put up posters That would say Carlos Watson is the best interviewer ever since dick cabot and then under that i would say new york times or or they would use articles where

their own ceo was quoted so even if it was a legit not paid for ad there would be an ad in i think the example chris gave was like deadline and best interviewer on tv working today deadline but that's a quote from their own ceo ceo telling the telling the deadline reporter that exact quote and then recycling it and using it on i mean here's the deal the original article that you just mentioned that ben smith wrote i think that ben smith it's been a few days since i've read it but like he he started the article by saying it is a truth universally acknowledged that startups like this have to have a little bit of bluster like you if you're gonna make it at all he acknowledged that there's kind of a fake it till you make it sort of mentality and other companies have successfully done that by bolstering themselves and just putting themselves in the utmost perfect light or best light possible and then eventually it all pays off and maybe you were maybe you were like the coyote running up in the sky a little bit and you didn't realize that there was no more land beneath you and you're about to fall but you were able to catch a vine i'm losing the analogy here but you know sometimes you just were able to eat a pellet before the ghost Right. Okay. I think I think everyone knows what I'm saying now. But yeah. So, you know, there is a little bit of like maybe the reason I'm not successful is because I wouldn't have the guts to do some of this stuff. But where are those lines? And clearly this company and these people cross those lines.

well the thing that i was struck by was this guy carlos watson you know he was on msnbc he went to harvard he's a conventionally nice looking guy um he's probably a pretty good interviewer i mean it's weird that he really pulled a mike richards here which is i don't think there's any reason that carlos watson couldn't have been a legitimately you know um a popular talk show host but it was like he wanted to make it happen so bad and maybe because you know they weren't you know some big production company wasn't coming to him and hiring him to do the Carlos Watson show like what he should have done is if it was I don't know what his career trajectory was but if it was available to him he should have stayed at MSNBC should have tried to expand his role there he should have you know started to host things where he got to let his personality out as much as possible and then you know maybe you get you get a talk show like Kelly Clarkson has a show and Drew Barrymore has a show

I don't know that could have happened for him but it was like he really wanted to have a show and so he went out and then built this Potemkin media empire so he could have a show and now he'll never have a show I don't know I think so I don't think I mean Jeffrey Toobin is on TV again Luke I just always use that as an example but I think Jeffrey Toobin and Mike Richards and Carlos Watson are very different that's true but I think that there is I mean you really think that he has no that he's just toxic nobody would ever hire him for any media job again i mean i i think that the you know the world is a pretty we as american media consumers have a pretty short memory i don't think that this is just like a career ender i think it's a very embarrassing thing i think it's a company ender but he's not like you know at the end i don't think he's like anywhere near just like giving it all up and saying i'm gonna i'm

gonna go work in a grocery store now well i mean here's the thing though if you're somebody who's hosting stuff and you're not the star of the show so the thing is if you're if you're Jeffrey Toobin CNN thinks that his legal expertise is so insightful and and good or let's say you're Ellen DeGeneres Ellen DeGeneres obviously had a huge kind of reputational hit for allegedly just being not very nice to work for etc and that was really bad for she could get another show if she wanted though because she has a personality that they think is worth riding that out if you are just a carlos watson or a luke burbank if your job is really to just be the person who's helping interview the more famous person i think people having a thought about you when you start talking to oprah or whoever it is you're interviewing is a problem like you know what i mean like i don't think that carlos watson is considered to be valuable enough to the infotainment landscape if i was gonna if i was gonna have someone host something i wouldn't want people watching being You know, oh, is that the guy whose company faked a dude on the phone or whatever? Like, that's why I think it's going to be hard for him. I don't mean he's done working. I'm sure he'll, you know, he'll be a highly paid executive of some kind. But I just think it's unlikely that we're going to see him popping up on major television hosting things because it just seems like there's a lot of people that want that job. And a lot of those people don't come with the baggage of, oh, wasn't that the guy that that thing happened with?

i mean i understand why you you rejected the tube and thing and that those are all good points but as as a media consumer myself i would say if i saw some something that oh oh this is carlos watson interviewing somebody now i would be more likely to watch that because now i know who he is and i think it's an interesting story than prior to this story um breaking i i think that actually there is a way to you know to actually use this as as momentum maybe not right away but again all i can speak is to i guess my own personal taste here like if i saw that he was interviewing somebody now i would pay more attention than i would have last week i think sure i don't i mean

i think you could be right about that um i guess it just seems to me like as i was reading the guy's cv he has a very impressive resume and it's like it's just surprising to me that he wasn't able to just do this you know in the more traditional fashion where he somehow gets a talk show and then he's likable and uh you know because i mean he lost so this is the other thing so he was supposed to host part of the news emmys this week uh they fired him from that job he was on the board of npr he was asked to step down from the board of npr um there was one other thing that was happening this week that uh where he had to like step away from something so it's definitely in the short run not looking great for his career but i mean you could be right there's probably a way for him to harness there's probably a ted talk in this you know like a story of redemption where he spins it as like you know what i learned from failure kind of thing yeah absolutely and again

like if he's just kind of already in this mode of kind of like kind of making making his own um i don't know kind of creating his own momentum in a certain way and taking advantage of platforms where he can upload things directly like it would be interesting and again i i'm not saying and of Of course, there's definitely going to be pain in the near future, certainly like what you're saying. And certainly something like this should not be on NPR's board, certainly. Like different organizations are going to have different, you know, requirements as far as that is concerned. And NPR's whole brand is honesty and truth telling and accuracy and everything. So you can't have him associated with that. But I don't know. I'll be interested to see where this goes. I mean, look, Brian Williams wrote it out.

But I think that's also because Brian Williams...

There's a certain level of fame that you can get, and also probably privilege, being a white guy, where people think, yeah, you know what, there's some downside to this. Again, not to belabor the Toobin thing. And in the case of Jeffrey Toobin, I don't know if it's deserved or not, but there are people where the executives think there's enough upside for us that makes it worth accepting the downside. They clearly had to do that with Brian Williams. Also, part of it was I think that they owed him a bunch of money.

I was going to say, I'll bet you, yeah, there is. I don't know. You probably know more than I do on that, but I assume there's some contract stuff there, too.

It was funny, though. Some of the people that I've been working with in TV used to be Brian Williams' crew.

Oh.

And they didn't have any, like, dirt on him or anything, but it was just interesting to – the difference between a Luke Burbank shoot and a Brian Williams shoot is notable, Andrew.

You're difficult?

Well, my level of difficulty, diva behavior, not, you know, demanding that none of the crew make eye contact with stuff like that. None of that is stuff Brian Williams would do. Yeah, no, I've done the earth.

Hey, let's carry the gear. He would hump gear. I've done VFW halls with you before. I know what a prima donna you can be.

Here I go once again with the email every week. I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

All right. Email or V-mail before we get out of here on this Monday?

Yes, allow me. Save what's left of my voice. Yes, I know. What a day that you have to do kind of two shows in a row. But I'm looking forward to doing No Point. A lot of stuff to talk about. Emotional weekend. Let's go on a little journey first, though. Everybody settle in. Here is a story of neighborhood conflict. Is there anything better to end a Monday show with?

Hey, so I'm having, I don't know if it's garbage anxiety, but more like garbage anger. I have a neighbor who lives next door to us. He's an older gentleman. And when we moved in two years ago, we had a really good relationship. He was really nice. He offered to let us use his truck a couple of times for some, like, yard improvement projects. But something happened, and I don't know what. but this last spring he pulled my husband aside which he thought was going to be just like a friendly friendly neighborly chat and got really aggressive and told him that we need to cut down this old growth pine tree we have in our front yard that's dropping needles on his lawn because it's killing his lawn um and my husband told him we're not cutting down our tree sorry we're not it's 50 to 70 years old that's not going to happen um so anyway since then the relationship hasn't been the same but we've tried to be nice kind of be the bigger people we barked our yard um a couple weeks ago we bought a ton of mulch uh and we offered to do his side which kind of lines up against ours so everything would feel even and he said sure if you want to go ahead so we did that which ended up we didn't have enough for our backyard um but whatever we thought we would extend the kindness and um so anyway uh earlier this week i saw that he had cut down a bunch of this cedar tree that kind of had some bits that were hanging over onto his side and um i kind of laughed at first because i saw the big pile in his backyard and um i was like okay well he can do that it's fine it's hanging on his side um this morning i leave to go to the store and i notice our yard waste which we kind of keep in our alley uh it's so full which we haven't put anything in there the lid won't close and i look and it's all the cedar branches that he cut down he didn't even do a good job cutting them down he just crammed them in and so our yard waste is totally full um and he didn't even ask and i got so hot and ragey. I'm going to text them. I don't know what to say yet. Part of me really wants to just dump the bin in front of his garage and leave the pile there and then put the yard waste back in our garage, but I'm not going to do that. But I feel like that's so rude. I know there are experiences from our tree, but I feel like the fact that he didn't ask and just filled it, it's still passive-aggressive in any way. I don't know if this is an appropriate response to be this upset about it um oh that's where the voicemail ends by the way

um there was a knock at the door it's the neighbor yeah yeah no that the time limit went out there um yeah that is infuriating well here's the all the part of the story where i think

i maybe got a tad bit confused which is it's actually their cedar tree it is and i and it

It is their cedar tree and it's hanging over his lawn, which is, you know, a reality.

times and she even said like it's you know that's his right to trim that part of the tree that is coming you know that is raining needles down on there on his lawn but um i could even see a universe where you're in this little bit of a tense relationship but you're the person whose yard is getting rained on and you want to clean it up maybe you even say to your neighbors hey listen i'm going to trim that part of the tree i'd like to use your yard bin now i don't know how that goes if you approach them in advance but in this case like just to sloppily do it you can tell like i can picture this so perfectly like he's doing it angrily right if he was doing it himself there's a good chance i'm making a lot of assumptions here i don't care he uh if he's doing it himself in his own bin chances are he's going to be a lot more careful he's going to be cutting those bows down uh into more manageable little chunks and taking advantage of the of the space as it is in the bin but no he's doing this out of anger and spite and using their bin and doing a crappy job and filling it when maybe this wouldn't have necessarily filled it all the way to the brim anyway it was passive aggressive it was borderline aggressive frankly and uh i would

be steaming too do you remember when i was living in seattle and i had those neighbors that like had this giant holly tree which i hated and it hung way over our property and about once every two years they would pay someone to trim the tree but only the side of the tree that was in there oh my hanging over their yard so this tree had the most bizarre haircut one side of it was all like carefully trimmed and and and like you know kept sort of looking nice and then once It was just wild craziness. And the idea was I was allowed to hire someone to trim the part of the tree of theirs that was hanging over. Like I could legally do it. But it felt wrong to me. Now, this is actually what I'm arguing here is slightly to the counter of our listener, who I love. And thank you for calling in. And thank you for helping Andrew have something to re-engage with in life. I mean, it was a tough weekend for the Mariners. But I can hear the passion in your voice, Andrew, when you hear about somebody putting cedar boughs. or bows in a garbage can. But anyway, I guess the nature of the question is, and I'm sure there's a, I know there's a legal precedent on this. Just ask Jeff Toobin. But if your tree is growing into someone's yard and then they trim the tree, is the waste matter theirs or yours? That's the essential legal question that we're trying to figure out. Now, also, there's also a nicer way to do it, which is to say, hey, I'm going to take this down, But since it's actually from your tree, do you mind if I put it in your yard waste? Because I got my own stuff going on. And that would be the much more appropriate way to handle this.

Exactly. Yeah, because you don't know other people's plans for their bins. I mean, it was clearly done as a way. It was a bit of an FU. I mean, there's no way to deny that. Like, you just don't do that. And there are more neighborly ways to do it. And you're right. There might be even, you know, it sounds like the caller is a reasonable person. And so you could talk about free mulch.

You can also tell that the caller was 5% annoyed that they basically gave this bark to their neighbor and then didn't have enough to finish their own yard, which I would be – that would grind my gears as well. Well, I would love to get an update from the listener on what they ended up doing.

I should mention that I saw this came into the voicemail I think on Wednesday of last week. So it's been a few days. So there might be an update in a minute. I almost did. I almost literally said that It's been 60 seconds Could that be our show? Yes, let's start another show It's been 60 seconds, hosted by Carlos Watson While you think about a song to go out with And I'll play it from here once you tell me what you choose I'm going to filibuster here a little bit If you don't mind I'm just going to give you a little bit of an update on my life as well As far as kind of petty related stuff is concerned My father, Robert Emailed me a couple of months ago and said hey you know we have one of those little like kind of home security camera setups here one of the like kind of very easily accessible ones but we're upgrading it i don't i don't know to what they were upgrading it uh do you want the two little cameras i have um and i was like yeah i'd play around with that you know leaves and i have always been somewhat reluctant to get as as kind of petty and nosy as i am like i also kind of don't love this fact that like i don't know maybe it's also the commercials advertising these systems that prey on people's worst fears so much and this whole like age of porch piracy. And I feel like that's a real thing. People are losing packages. And I've been the victim of that before. But also the idea, I just feel like local network news just spins that.

up so much and makes everybody like kind of afraid of anybody in their neighborhood who they've never seen before. I just think there's a lot of toxicity around everybody having these little security cameras all the time. But if you had a couple of these things and they're just, you know, they're not in use anymore. I love playing with new technology. I said, Daddy-O, send him my way. Was he swing dancing at the time? He can play the high C all night uh-huh uh no anyway sorry so he uh so he sent me these things and it's really cool i spent like a night i don't know several weeks ago um kind of setting it up and downloading the app but i haven't really had a use for it other than uh watching my cat go on the counter and then being scared because i also had this you know what scat is and i'm not talking about poop here they have these little um devices that are like little aerosol cans that are filled with nothing but compressed air but then you buy this little thing that goes on top of it and it's like a little sensor and if something triggers the motion sensor then it goes and it kind of scares your cats and it keeps them off the counter and stuff oh wow and so i did create an amazing video the first night i didn't even mean to of uh of bananas behind my back as i'm sleeping as i lay resting the cat goes behind my back jumps up on the counter and i have the most wonderful image of the cat walking towards the camera like what is this and then hitting my perfectly clean stove and then jumping out of her goddamn skin because the thing scared her i don't know how our animal loving listeners love that story but it is a good video all of that is to say i have not installed these cameras outside yet because i don't know exactly what they do we've had our mailbox pried open and stuff presumably stolen from it twice now in the past year but if i have video of that all it's going to do is make me angry that i can see the person breaking in you know like it's not actually, it's not going to be a deterrent. I can't leave these cameras anywhere that people could see them or access them because then they could, they're just magnets, basically. That's how they stick to their base. How do those work? They'd be easily stolen. I have a song. Oh, I can tell that you're picking out the music. Maybe that's the song to go out with. So anyway, I've been kind of like, I don't know, do we install these things outdoors? There's also somebody who's been dumping a bunch of cardboard and it's been kind of gross and I was like, oh, we could put the we could put eyes on that Genevieve wants to call it operation corrugation because it's cardboard I thought that's pretty good um but again I don't know to what end we're doing that for seeing people mess around with your property and just being like look at those look at those people messing around with my property that doesn't give me calm right but today this is where this is all going today as I sit here recording with you Luke two of my bins are now empty and pulled in from the curb but one remains and i was thinking i think it happened twice before we dialed up today i thought i heard the the garbage truck so i went out there to pull it back in but it was the wrong

garbage truck and i was like if i could install one of these cameras in a way that i can just kind of watch like during tbtl i can let you know like hey luke the bin just got picked up or or or emptied i should say or i could even say luke the bin is now empty and i see somebody throwing their dog poop in it like what if that was like actual content I could real time during the show yes that could

become one of the most popular Amazon original talk shows anyway

I think I give you plenty of time to pick out a song with my I would love you to do that

by the way I was telling you this from the beginning that you need a security camera yeah I know so and I think I think it could be yeah I think it could be fun content I think it will ultimately make you furious yes what you're not going to see is just What you're not going to remember are the hundreds and thousands of people Who will pass by your garbage cans without messing with them What you will notice is when you see that one dog poop bag In there and then you roll the tape back You go to the camera you're going to see that person doing it And you're going to be enraged But I actually think that will be good content So I have two ways we could go We were talking about trees that listener was talking about these trees So we could either go with the song Nearly Lost You by the Screaming Trees From 1992 Or we could go with a song From the soundtrack of the Steve Buscemi movie Tree's Lounge

That's an interesting Which I don't remember

The music specific That's a great movie by the way At least my memory of it is It's a really fun indie movie Is it fun?

I remember it being kind of I remember liking it But I thought it was dark

Yeah Fun is not the way to describe it It was a really well done movie I really enjoyed it But I also really enjoyed Beautiful Girls Until Camaro and I tried to make Vives watch it And we couldn't even get through it So who knows Anyway there's just a bunch of these songs I don't really know what any of them are But some of them seem kind of intriguing There's a song by the Ink Spots That's called Let's see Either It's Love or It Isn't Performed by the Ink Spots It sounds like that's probably kind of like a 50s jam Or we go with Nearly Lost You by the Screaming Trees Which one would you like?

I noticed Feed the Trees Not on the list

That's okay, Belly fans. We'll get you next time. I would actually go with the Screaming Trees. I know this song. I haven't heard it in a long time, Luke. A long, long time. This was like the number one song in America. Wow. At one point. I would never have guessed that. In fact, Spin Magazine has the oral history of Screaming Trees nearly lost you. Let's do it. I'm actually very excited now to hear this again. It's been forever. All right. We'll go out with the little Screaming Trees. Keeping it current. Coming at you on a Monday TBTL. Thanks for listening, folks. We'll be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Also, check in on the No Point Conversion coming your way pretty soon as well. Until then, have a great Monday. Stay safe. Go Mariners. Go Eta Bregel. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

I'm just a cry calling me back to my sin. Like the one you knew before. Calling me back once again.

I nearly, I nearly lost you there And it's taken us somewhere I nearly lost you there Let's try to sleep now

Where are the dice? Daddy says dice are wicked. We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way. Power out.