Muse

Hey Oscar. Yeah? When you get a loan, you don't have to use it for exactly what you say you're gonna, right? Yes, you do. No, but I mean, once the bank gives you the money, it is your money, you can use it for whatever you want, right? No, Kevin, that would be fraud. Let's say that you tell the bank that you're going to open up an ice cream store. But instead, you buy an ice cream cart. Technically, you're still selling ice cream.

I know you have gambling debts.

Gambling debts? What? Promise me you will not take out a small business loan and use that money to pay off your bookie. What's a bookie? I don't even know what you're talking about You are weird You are a really weird dude TBTL

Look, I get it I'm not always fun to be around I can be loud and abrasive My breath The doctors say I have incurable stink tongue I really dug the way you use fantasy current events and cooking and a kind of tapestry of storytelling. Lady Gaga

said she's addicted to it and is

not harmless. Did you ever think that maybe

there's more to life than being really, really, really, really, really, really, really ridiculously good-looking? So I'm nervous, but I'm excited at the same time. So I'm just gonna start talking about what I like and hope I get some replies.

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. You are boring me to death, and I am already dead. You're boring me back to death. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

You know, you got to eat that microphone.

Coming to you from the Nest Broadcast Center, high in the sky, above Portland, Oregon. Sorry I was a little late Cracking my microphone this morning I was trying to take a photo of these grapes Have you guys tried grapes? They are really good

Beautiful purple balls

When I was in Texas Becca and I got some grapes at the Whole Foods They were called cotton candy grapes Which seems like it's kind of defeating the purpose of fruit If, you know, it's cotton candy But no, that's just the flavor, I guess And they were so good I got really into them I'm buying grapes like crazy I was at the New Seasons here in Portland yesterday And I saw these grapes That are so enormous I was trying to take a picture of them With my thumb in the photo for scale So I could send it to Andrew These are like the grapes In like the Old Testament When the two scouts went And looked at the land of milk and honey And they came back and they said There's grapes the size of your fist That's what I'm dealing with here on a Tuesday morning, and they are delicious. We're also dealing with episode 3530 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

Big day if you're a Seattle sport person. In that, it is the first ever regular season NHL game where Seattle will have a professional hockey team.

You know, if the hockey mobs can't handle me yelling and heckling at the rinks, I think they should stick to crosswords and knitting.

The question is, are we going to become hockey fans? Me and Andrew. We'll talk about that. Also, they rebooted Home Alone with Pete Holmes and Rob Delaney and Ellie Kempner. Really? That happened?

You gotta be kidding me.

Home Alone 6 has hit the internet today and everybody's freaking out. I think that there's an obvious way to do this film, and this may not be the way to do it. We'll talk about that, too. Oh, and Paul McCartney out there just shooting shots and firing bombs at people. I won't trash talk. I won't be out there blowharding. Yesterday, he was in the news saying that John Lennon was who broke up the Beatles. Today, he is aiming his withering comments at one Mick Jagger. Okay, let's do it Mick Jagger is just trying to take corny dad pictures In front of the St. Louis Arch Does not need to get roasted by Paul McCartney We'll talk about that And do some emails and V-mails with this guy The longest running co-bro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships His name is Andrew And he guards the city of rock and roll This is Andrew Walsh Joining us right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood

of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Not to do the same story that everybody is starting their podcast with today, but we are officially in Klugey Dock season, of course, so happy Klugey Dock season. This is when you... That comes right after pumpkin spice season? Yeah, they overlap a little bit. I see. It's that time of the year. You know how... What about Trucktober? Truck, Truck Sand! Trucktober! It's a very busy... That's why they call it the holiday season.

You know what I hate? They're putting the Kludgy Dock candies out, and we haven't even fully celebrated Truck Tobey. It's like, come on.

I've seen Kludgy Dock candies at the end of September. At the end of September, dude. It was ridiculous. You know how, and what I like about this is it's super relatable. You know how when you co-host a podcast, like a daily podcast, and your partner sends you the show sheet every day in an email and then you copy and you paste that show sheet into your own google doc and you format it the way you like and then every day you just add a new one to the top of that doc every day every day and then at the end of the year you save that doc and you start a

new one but around a thumb drive and you bring it down to portland and you give it to your friend

and then he puts it in a book secret that's actually a small like safe but if you can imagine this dock which is just getting bigger and bigger with every passing day i'm adding a new show sheet to the top of it and you end up having hundreds of pages around this time of year october that dock begins to get so big it starts to crumble under its own weight and like if you try to make one keystroke it takes the computer like three minutes to actually recognize it and it's called kludgy dock season. It's celebrated in most western cultures, I think. Yes.

I think they actually, in is it Denmark where they have Dacus, who's like the evil kludgy dock? He actually steals kids' Google

Docs? So gross. You have to print out the Google Doc, roll it up, put it in your shoe, and then put the shoes outside your door, and then Dacus comes, and if you don't use the right paper, you don't get any shoe poo, which is what they call candy it's a whole thing it's terrible anyway nice happy kludgy doc season luke tell me about

these grapes oh my gosh i'm so big grapes i cannot lie um yeah you know i have long documented my eating weirdness on this show and for many years of my life i didn't eat any fruit because i just felt like i was always on this low-carb train and i just had filed i had sort have put fruit in a category that was like not worth it because there's you know a fair amount of natural sugar and carbohydrates and such and so it's like relatively late in life it's around at the age of 45 that i started eating fruit and thinking man that's good i enjoy that i have to give becca credit on this because she's very very aware of like what she eats and and what's in what she eats and the listeners are like yeah luke this is not a news flash but it's like not all calories are created equal and so if there's nothing wrong she would tell me there's nothing wrong with eating food that has you know natural sugar in it or calories it's like what's not great is processed food so i have started eating a lot more food than i used to eat but i'm eating mostly stuff that's like you know just stuff that grew in the ground or is not you know not super processed so that has opened a whole new world to me of grape consumption and after we had those grapes in san antonio which i just was like i ate like this entire huge bag of them i was like where have these been my whole life and uh so i was in the new season yesterday and i have to say these grapes caught my attention because of their just massive size and i bought them just like almost out of curiosity each one of them is like eating a small plum and they're very good although they're I'm also just very thirsty this morning. I had some salty halloumi cheese last night. I make this little thing now where I fry up some halloumi cheese. I throw a little Rouse tomato sauce in there and some black olives, and I'll have that for my dinner while I watch All In With Chris Hayes or the Monday Night Football game, by the way. Sorry for your loss last night, just kind of generally speaking. There's football last night. So I put my little pasta. It's not pasta. That's the thing. There's no pasta in it. But I put my little meal together last night. But it was very salty. So I'm very thirsty. That might be why I'm really vibing on these grapes is because they're actually just kind of thirst quenching.

Yeah, I do that sometimes too. And sometimes I have to remind myself, wait a second, you haven't had your water yet. You haven't sipped any water yet this morning. But you're already like if there are grapes in the fridge. And I'm going to say there's a. You go with the fridge for the grapes.

I was actually going to text Becca this last night because I also found out from her tomatoes.

Don't go in the fridge.

Oh, God. No, no, I'm totally on the other side of that. I don't know if you said you said that or she said that. But, no, I like my fruit cold. I do not – oranges, that's what I was about to say. Like sometimes if we don't have grapes in the fridge, like I like to have those little clementines. And sometimes in the morning I'll find myself gravitating towards one of those clementines. And, you know, if it's cold and it's thirst quenching, I have to remind myself, wait, don't quench your thirst with food now. drink your water first then assess whether or not you're still right you know i think the thing

about like i think with tomatoes is that they they last longer if they're not in the fridge like they they become mealy more quickly when they're refrigerated oddly enough

i don't know i don't have the yeah i don't have the science behind that i'm also less i feel less strongly about it with tomatoes i don't eat tomatoes all that much i mean genevieve was growing some sort of tomatoes this year you know we don't have a yard or any place to have an actual little garden but she got a tomato pot you know our friend uh rodent his family i mean he asked genevieve if and he might hear this and he can fill in the details um if we need them but uh he gave genevieve like a um a little tomato plant to replant at our place and it thrived and it was growing these little tomatoes but the variety apparently has some connection to his family roots in this case roots maybe uh literally and figuratively i don't know i don't think they're Or heirloom in the most literal sense. I think so. Or there's some connection there. I don't think they're called rodent tomatoes necessarily. Is there like a Burbank russet potato? Yeah. And don't worry. Yeah, I'm not trying to start the potato-tomato wars all over again. I mean, we just finally turned our swords into plushes.

Can we not ruin Kludgy Dock season with another potato-tomato inter-Nicene battle?

But anyway, so that was kind of an adventure because we had to get the tomatoes off the plant before the rodents could get to them. Now, in this case, I'm saying rodents, not rodents. I'm not saying that rodent is coming over and stealing his own tomatoes back. But anyway, there was a whole thing about kind of bringing them in before they were fully ripened, but putting them in a paper bag and then letting them kind of ripen in the paper bag before putting them in. Because literally rats were going to eat them? I don't know what's out there. I don't know if it's – I like to think that maybe it's more like mice and squirrels, but maybe a rat or two. We do live in the city.

You're hoping it's the cuter of the vermin.

Yeah, exactly, as if it matters, right? Like I picture a cute little squirrel putting on a little bib, tucking it in and like right under the neck there. But anyway, yes, I know that that had something to do with the ripening process. But as far as I'm concerned, I do feel strongly – I'm not – again, Luke, you know me. I'm not trying to start a, like, well, this is the right way to eat fruit in my taste, though, or for my taste. I like my fruit cold. I don't like an orange if it's just sitting on, you know, like, out on a table. It looks nice if you have, like, a bowl of oranges. I love that look. But I'd prefer my orange to be refrigerated first.

I'm at the Grapes from California website. Storage and handling. Best practices. What's weird is they put best practices in one of those live, laugh, love fonts. Oh, my gosh. It's like grape storage and handling is normal. It's like Times New Roman. And then best practices is very sort of like scripty scripty. High quality fresh grapes from California will have green pliable stems and plump berries store grape boxes immediately in refrigeration when received. The ideal condition for grapes is 30 to 32 degrees. Wow. Well, I'm terribly wrong about this.

Oh, so I kind of warged out before. I wasn't sure if you were saying it should be in the fridge or Becca was saying it should be in the fridge.

I think I may have, like, mixed up my tomatoes and my grapes with her. She was saying that you don't put tomatoes in the refrigerator, which I had always just done as a given because I think there's something about that they go bad faster if they're refrigerated or something. But I think I might have just misapplied that to grapes. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think I just sort of was thinking they're round, they're delicious, and kids go crazy for them, and I just mix the two food products up. It is a whole new world for me, though, like eating fruit, like having fruit around as a treat. It's quite fun. I finally understand what all the hype is about.

You know, and this isn't a judgment. I'm just kind of surprised that the grapes that you are attracted to or the grapes that brought you into the fruit world are kind of larger and sweeter. Usually with your foodstuffs, you like them more petite and not flavor blasted. Now, I know that these are not flavor blasted. These are a natural product. But just generally speaking, you don't go for the more extreme flavors, the more extreme sweetness, or the extreme size.

Right. I don't go like Cool Ranch Doritos type of thing.

Right. Although Cool Ranch grapes would be something, man.

Also, Serious Eats is telling me I should be refrigerating tomatoes, so maybe everything I need. i've said so far on the show is just a lie some people say you should never refrigerate tomatoes is this really true i've been told for so long yada yada yada uh let's see here uh i set up a series of experiments that spanned an entire summer and included literally hundreds upon hundreds of tomatoes of different sources and varieties uh let's see here here's the short answer thank you serious eats if if your tomatoes have never been refrigerated i.e you grew them yourself or bought them from a farmer's market remove the stems and store unriped tomatoes upside down on a plate or a cutting board at room temperature until they fully ripen consume fully ripened tomatoes immediately refrigerate any unconsumed fully ripe tomatoes but allow them to come to room temperature before serving them oh that's interesting so before serving but you

know that that is what i was going to maybe guess before that maybe you leave your tomatoes out until they're at a stage where they can they're ripe enough to be eaten but then maybe you put them in the fridge to maybe stall that process out sounds like you just put everything in the

refrigerator except for bread i think um i had a friend dave hill yeah when i was a kid his mom refrigerated the bread the cereal oh god cereal emily hill i later worked for her when i worked at the uw visitor information center she was the head of the public records department and i was the front desk person in the building she was in i believe she actually got me the job but i always remembered going to their house and all of the stuff like literally everything from the kitchen

being in the refrigerator it was their fridge that's what's driving like i cannot get a hold of our fridge we our fridge is chaos i i would go in there and throw half it doesn't sound like

something that you enjoy i mean as a person who likes to be organized no but genevieve doesn't

like to throw any food away there there it could be two years after the uh best sold by date and And I'll say, I think this food has come back alive again. I think it's time to throw it away. And she'll say, eh, there still may be use for that. Don't throw that away yet. But, oh, one thing I was going to say. Well, first of all, wait. Hold on. I'm on three different chances. The bread thing. How big was their fridge? If she's throwing cereal in there, like, I mean, first of all, they have a lot of cabinets.

There's a conventional-sized refrigerator. But, I mean, if you don't have a ton of other stuff, like, you could fit. I could go. I have an apartment-sized refrigerator. I could put a box of cereal and a loaf of bread in there. It would just mean less other stuff. Sounds great. I wish I had that kind of room.

The other thing I was going to say, this is something that you need to get divorced, my friend. All right. All great.

And all the fridge real estate you need.

You know, nobody's ever put it to me like that before. Now I see it. Sorry, I'm eating a grape. No, that's OK. It sounds like you have to take several bites of it. I am not kidding, dude. It's like an apple. One thing that I've noticed, and I know that I'm just kind of playing into marketing a little bit here, but I had an observation during the football game on Sunday while watching another commercial where people are, like, cooking with chips. I feel like eventually, if everything progresses the way things are progressing, a hundred years from now, if you look at an American spice rack or spice cabinet, it will be filled with nothing but potato chip flavors. You'll have Doritos. Wait, what do you mean cooking with chips? There was another commercial. Vives and I had already been talking or kind of observing that so many things are just flavored with Doritos now, like kind of across the various fast food spectrum and whatnot. Everything is Doritos this, Doritos that, or Flamin' Hot this, Flamin' Hot that. There's all these like corporate synergistic agreements between, I don't know, KFC and your Dorito. But then we were already talking about this and then a commercial came on and I only caught like kind of the end of it or saw it maybe peripheral peripherally. But there were like three people and they were like in the kitchen and they were like breaking up Lay's potato chips and then then Doritos and something else. And they were breading chicken with it and then cooking with it. This is like a quick commercial for like Lay's products. And, like, it appears, unless it was a joke that I missed, it appears that they're trying to sell their product not just as chips now but as something that you cook with, that you prepare your food with. You know what?

I heard a commercial for the other day that was doing that exact thing. I think I might have even been listening to a Cleveland Browns game on my Sirius satellite app. It was 7-Up. And they were trying to basically get you to cook things with 7-Up, like a cake and other things. I wonder if that's like the same giant global food brand like owns all of that stuff and if they've decided that the growth area for them is getting people to start, like you said, thinking of their – the processed foods that they sell us, thinking about those as actual ingredients in other dishes.

Which isn't a bad idea. One of Genevieve's favorite kind of commercial types is like a liquor commercial that teaches you how to make a new cocktail with their liquor. can you picture that like somebody not just saying like hey this is Here's a very basic example, although Genevieve is familiar with a whiskey ginger. But, like, there is, I believe, a Jim Beam, maybe a Jack Daniels commercial airing now, where they're really pushing the idea of a Jim Beam and ginger. And there's two versions. One, they're selling it as a pre-made product in a can. But there's another one that is just planting the idea of, hey, doesn't this cocktail sound nice to you? And if so, when you order it, choose our whiskey in that cocktail. In this case, you know, a beam and ginger or a whiskey ginger or whatever. And then there have been other ones that are a little bit maybe more fancy, a little bit more like, hey, when you're out there, try this liqueur and ask the bartender to make this for you.

Okay. So you said you were on three different things. One of them was that. What were the other two?

Well, I wanted to quickly get in. I wanted to ask about the refrigerator size of this person who refrigerates everything. And then I think I want – I think that was basically it.

By the way, the bread stayed fresh much longer. And I have bread here that's just in a – like a cupboard like you probably – most people would. And every time I look at it – because I just don't eat that much bread. I bought a loaf of Dave's Killer bread and I always look at it and think I should put that in the fridge. I actually think that to myself because I think if you put bread in the fridge, it will literally be fine forever. Like you might have to take the slice out and let it get up to room temperature or maybe toast it a little bit. But I think it will lengthen the life of your bread. Like I'm sure the bread that I have here is probably already moldy. I had probably one slice of it, and it's been sitting there for two months. Like it's not edible anymore.

Here's my guess. I'm actually – I'm looking for this Lay's commercial. It might be called the Lay's Kitchen. I'm trying to figure this out right now for this cooking with chips. But my guess is – and I don't know if this is a guess or just based on things that I've heard over the years and just maybe information or misinformation. Take it for what it's worth. But if you put bread in the refrigerator, it will stave off mold or, you know, longer or whatever, you know, it's a decomposing process. But it will dry it out a little bit. Like it's a kind of a give and take there, right? The bread itself might not be as moist and delicious pulling it out of the refrigerator after a few days as opposed to if it had been set up. And it also depends on what kind of bread you're getting too, right? Sure. So the bread we buy now is just like kind of cheapo, like whatever is mass produced in the bread aisle. Growing up, my family did not. It's weird the things that my family was kind of snobby about, but they were not into any kind of pre-packaged bread like that. You would get it from the bakery section of the grocery store. So not necessarily like fancy bread, but it was the stuff that was made kind of on site and bagged up on site. And it looked more like a loaf, if you can picture it.

You got to be careful this guy doesn't come over and mess your stuff up. I will come to your house. I will go to your frustrator, your frustrator. All right. We should take a quick break here because we do have a lot of tough stories to get to. So let's do that right now. Quick break and then back with more TBTL in just a moment. All right. Let's thank our donors of the day. the generous, kind, loving, supportive people who are making today's episode possible with their donations each month. Folks like Kristen Zucht of Kansas City MO. KCMO. We met Kristen, I believe, during our...

She was our hero.

Yeah, because we were trying to hitchhike, right, down the Mississippi, and then we ran into, like, was it a weather system? It was a major storm, yeah. And so we were just like, we said, screw it, we're getting on a Greyhound, and we ended up in Kansas City, and there were tens there meeting us at the bus station.

Yeah, that was a heck of a night, man. Sure was. It really was. Like, that feeling of even taking a Greyhound that far, like, that was, you know, our goal was to hitchhike the whole way, but I actually think that that Greyhound trip was an important part of that adventure. It showed us a different part of the world, and just kind of a different, just, I had never taken a Greyhound trip like that before. Little, you know, little trips around New England, but nothing like that.

Yeah, it's a really interesting. There was that guy, I think, Dishwasher Pete, who used to do pieces for This American Life. Right, I forgot about that. I think he was like a dishwasher at like an Antarctic research station or something. Or on an oil rig or something. But then he also used to take greyhounds and do stories on them. And there's a reason why those stories were so compelling. because you just see people in all kinds of different life transitions, people of different ages, of different sort of ethnic backgrounds. It's a real cross-section of America on those Greyhound buses cruising around the Midwest.

It's hard not to feel poetic when you're just sitting in a bus station in the Midwest waiting for a bus to take you someplace you don't even know. your final destination yet yeah i ran to the liquor store didn't i have booze on that oh that's right bus because i was like if we're gonna be on this bus for nine hours we gotta also that felt very greyhound to me like having a little we're passing a little side side zipper because you

were sitting in front of me we weren't sitting next to each other you're in the seat in front of me and i remember desperately looking up like reddit communities that uh that help hitchhikers do you remember that part i was hoping that like okay when we end up you know here can we Can I put out a call for help in case nobody picks us up? I was trying to think of ways to get to Mississippi that was still within the spirit of hitchhiking in case our thumbs weren't working.

Didn't we? Weren't we also listening to a baseball game? I feel like we were monitoring some sporting event as well for part of that time. Because then later in the trip, I remember when we finally end up in a rental car, I remember listening to a very dispiriting Mariner's loss, I think, to the Red Sox. You and I just driving silently through like North Mississippi with just like as like the Mariners bullpen just like imploded.

I feel like you and I have been on so many road trips. I've got to be more specific. And the Mariners have imploded so many times because I feel like we also have that experience in the RV prior to the Miracle on Dirt. Prior to the Miracle on Dirt, though, I thought we had a heartbreaker. Maybe it was. Oh, whatever. It doesn't matter. Yes. Anyway, memory. You know what matters?

John and Riley Calcagno Are still supporting the show After all these years Coming at you from Seattle, Washington Riley has even played his music On the show Which was awesome I think he's still doing that too Yeah, he's quite successful Yeah, so good on you And thanks for the support Ross Cartarelli is in Canton, Massachusetts Oh, so close Uh-huh That's Canton, Massachusetts It's actually home of the Bowling Hall of Fame Yes, exactly Anytime you're in a Canton You have to have a Hall of Fame Of some kind of athletic endeavor

It is so cliche at this point To even say this But I hope that the Bowling Hall of Fame Is not in New England Because they have a whole different kind of bowling there That I don't really appreciate Oh, that candle pin bowling or something? Yeah, I'm sorry, Ross I'm not trying to fire shots here But yeah, the candle pin bowling It's not for me

so much i don't think i've ever even seen it i've just heard tell of it and it seems intimidating but i used to be intimidated by grapes andrew yeah and now here i am yeah eating so many of them that i'm gonna be sick i literally had to move them across the room because i'll just like keep munching on them i think that was really sage advice asking yourself am i eating am i eating am i slaking my thirst with food right now right yeah um and so i'm uh yeah i gotta lay off the grapes anyway thank you ross for the support jennifer finn is in arlington texas thanks jennifer jill rand is in kirkland washington and then paul daniels checking in from wichita

kansas nice midwestern like solid midwestern representation today missouri yeah you love to

see it kansas city wichita all of it thank you so much to our donors of the day thanks for making it possible for us to do this as our job and for me to buy grapes with the money they pay me to do this job we wouldn't be here without you hello and welcome to top story uh today is the first um regular season game for the seattle kraken our hockey team they're playing in las vegas they're playing the las vegas knights which is kind of interesting because i guess those are the two newest teams in hockey because the las vegas knights were uh only fairly recently minted um but this is a it's a whole thing i guess my question to you andrew is are you going to watch it are you going to try to learn about hockey what what is your plan for this you know i don't

think so and i i feel bad like i don't want to be a you know i don't want to be a bummer about this i'm excited for the city to have the team and i hear a lot of people talking about how excited they are to get into hockey i think that you and i might have been talking about this maybe during a no point but um you know if if i if i did have a sports shaped hole in my heart like maybe i would be more excited about this but like i'm already more into sports now than i was 15 years ago or certainly 20 years ago when I didn't care about them at all and I don't feel like oh I need to get into something else you know like I just sort of feel like I already am I'm too emotionally involved in two two other teams that sometimes make me happy but often make me very sad and I love it and I you know baseball is such a huge part of my summers now I would be so sad to be without it but I also don't feel like but do I need to learn and catch up on something new and And again, that's not the best attitude in the world. I'm happy for the. Those who are enjoying it. But I don't know that I feel the need.

Yeah, I think I'm kind of with you. Our friend John was trying to explain to us the other night when we were watching the Seahawks game how it works. He was drawing a helpful diagram on a napkin. I noticed the Seattle Times printed a similar diagram, except theirs wasn't written on a napkin. But it was just basically like, here's where the people stand. This is like if the puck goes from here to here, it's like not OK. It's very weird for me as a person who's been pretty obsessed with sports throughout my life to have a sport that I don't even know the basics of. I'm just starting from total scratch. Like, what's icing? And maybe that's part of the intimidation factor is I just don't know it. I think we talked about this on the show the other day. I also said the fun for me of sports is knowing the lore of those sports. And I don't know the lore of hockey. I don't have I can't drop a funny reference to a hockey player you know from 20 years ago in our text chain so that's also kind of a disincentive to me what if I played the most inspirational hockey related speech of all time to see if it can hype us up this of course is actually the speech that Kurt Russell delivers in the movie Miracle he gives the the US Olympic hockey team a real speech but this is the one that's delivered by like a three-year-old kid oh remember this tape I don't I don't think so. This is great.

Great moments.

I want to mention, too, this kid is wearing a tan blazer. He's dressed exactly like the Herb Brooks character from Miracle, as played by Kurt Russell. But this is a little kid doing it.

Great moments are born from great opportunities. That's what you have here tonight, boys. That's what you earned here tonight. One game If we play them ten times They might win nine But not this game Not tonight Tonight We skate with them Tonight We stay with them And we shut them down Because we can Tonight We are the greatest hockey team in the world who were born to be hockey players everyone and you were meant to be here tonight this is

can I mention he's holding a clipboard I believe for added effect

your time their time is done it's over I'm sick and tired hearing about What a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw them. This is your turn. Now go out there and take it.

What do you think? Did that inspire you at all to get into Kraken hockey?

No, it inspires me to learn how to play hockey so I can win an Olympic gold. I just went from not wanting to participate as a spectator to wanting to participate as an actual hockey player. I guess I'll be the shortstop. What would be a position on a hockey team?

I see you as an enforcer.

I'm an enforcer. Exactly. I have a question for you.

You're not afraid to get out there and mix it up.

I mean, you'll do what you have to do. So I'm going to lay myself on the ignorant tracks here, as I often will do. But there is something that I started to notice. There is a movie that I would not have noticed probably ever because it's a hockey movie. But the only reason it's on my radar is because there is a certain type of person I and I don't even know why I'm saying this, but like if I start to follow people in sports conversations, especially in the Midwest, I'm trying to think if our prince, the stew body even did this at one point. There is a type of sports person with a sense of humor who at some point in their life will change their Twitter avatar to a picture of a bespectacled hockey player with a bloody eye. I believe it's from Slapshot, and I only know that from looking it up because every time I see it, I'm like, oh, yeah, what's that again? And it's like a signifier of like I'm somebody who kind of gets this movie, but I've never even seen that movie. How familiar are you with that?

I'm only familiar with I think they're twins right that are in Slapshot and they have they wear those they have those like black thick framed glasses yes and that's the extent I know that those like twins or maybe they're even triplets I know those dudes like loom large in like sports pop culture but I've never seen the film and I could that's I just know they exist

You know what I'm kind of the more we talk, the more I think I don't know if I'm into crack and hockey, but I'm certainly into catching up on my on my hockey movies. I'm on a. list now um screen rant.com the best hockey movies 10 best um do you want me to count them down for you here i'll do it quickly number 10 hello destroyer that was from 2016 number nine is youngblood in 1986 it looks like we have a patrick swayze sighting in there number eight mighty ducks of course i'm familiar with that number eight i mean they literally named a team A real NHL team after them You got Mystery Alaska which came out in 1999 A Garofalo vehicle I believe Oh really I'll get you a poster of that Thank you Looks like we have some Russell Crowe action In there as well Goon of 2012 I don't seem to recognize anybody in that The Cutting Edge 1992 Oh well see that's a stretch Is that cheating Because that's D.B. Sweeney Is a hockey player who has to learn How to figure skate It's more of a figure skating movie I think I mean he is a hockey player Yeah So it sort of involves hockey But the real The exciting drama of the film Is not hockey related It's figure skating related Because he has his figure skating partner And of course they fall in love Yeah You know Screen rant has your back on that They do say The cutting edge isn't heavy on hockey But it's still a hockey player Number four Indian Horse 2018 That's a real sneaker Not heard of it Slapshot comes in at number three three legend number 17 comes in at number two that's another new movie 2013 i'm calling movies that are about a decade old new movies now that's where i am in my progression and number one of course miracle of 2004 i would have thought mighty ducks would have been higher on that list by the way the hansen brothers are fictional characters in the 1977 movie slapshot they're based on the Carlson brothers who were actual hockey players and Paul Newman was in Slapshot which that alone makes me want to see Slapshot just the quality of the film in the screen caps I see makes me want to see like I think did I say that's 1977 like that just seems like that's just a good era for movies you know right they were yeah exactly like literally the film quality like the film stock they were shooting on is just fun to look at. Exactly. Speaking of films Andrew November 12th Disney is releasing, on Disney Plus, Home Sweet Home Alone. I'm going to play some of this trailer. I don't know if it's going to work as audio but take a listen to this. It was the night before Christmas vacation. Move that! And the fun was in full swing.

You have split our family onto two separate flights. Mom! That's please!

The family left for their big vacation. Is that everyone? That's Pete Holmes, by the way, playing the dad in Home Alone 6.

The cars are leaving now.

But forgot one little thing.

Mom? Dad? Uncle Blake? They don't even know I'm here. They don't even know I'm here.

So I'm not sure what the exact backstory on the family is, but everyone in the family appears to be British except Pete Holmes. so but also i'm not sure if they supposedly live in the uk or if they uh if they live in the states but just the mom is british and the kids have british accents i'm not quite sure well you know what i'm thinking right what is there a chance they met at a law enforcement conference just throwing that out there as a possibility i haven't seen the film can i jump in here and just When I saw this on the show sheet, Luke, and you said that it was – and you linked to a tweet about it, I thought that this was going to be about – I thought this was going to be some parody that they were just doing like a skit. This is really – this is happening. This is really happening. This is really happening. So I'm watching this, and at first I was like, okay, they made another Home Alone, whatever. And then I see Pete Holmes as a dad, and I kind of know him a little bit, so I was intrigued. and then I keep watching and then it's like the criminals show up which you know of course in the original it's like Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern and in this case it's Rob Delaney and and and unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt oh yeah Ellie Kemper Ellie Kemper mom and dad

have gone to Tokyo I'm totally on my own

you do realize that my 10 year old son is at home by himself you just assumed Max was on the other flight

We didn't take a census. I feel like there's a better joke there. We didn't take a census? That's Pete Holmes. We didn't take a census. Don't you feel like there's a, you know, I feel like there's a better line there. But anyway, that's what they went with.

Reports of suspicious people around 36 Lincoln Ave. I can't go to jail, honey. I wouldn't last 30 seconds in Gen Pop. That's where fresh fish get got. Nobody here is getting got.

So that's Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper getting ready to go in.

robbed this house and we're criminals i don't think so oh man that's one of those kids rule you know it's funny it's like i'm annoyed by this but of course home alone was like the original kids rule movie where it's just like macaulay culkin thwarting them and going yes you know pulling the fist down that is my least favorite feedback to give the children of america is that i mean i guess you know if they're in a stand your ground state like people are breaking into his house he has the right to defend his house but i'm so not into movies where it's i'm so not into kids rule movies i'm also a 45 year old man yeah this is for kids probably right yeah i mean

i'm watching along with you by the way it's amazing i kind of got it synced up here so that when you hit play like i'm i'm i i really really love rob delaney and ellie kemper like a lot so even just seeing them on screen for a second uh got me excited but like again this is a kid I had the same exact reaction to you Like you and I, two guys who do not have young kids Like I hear that like I don't think so I'm just like oh brother But it's not for me Seriously I'm rooting for the criminals

This is my house, I have to defend it Orange stripe Center pocket

That did not sound right Oh my god I'm trying to get home to my son Oh my gosh I have this synced up exactly with you

I'm scared And he needs his mother

This is not going well Home sweet home alone Oh no, a ladder You think I'm that stupid?

Yes, I do

There's some trampoline misadventures going on

First of all, I can't believe they don't have Macaulay Culkin in this what somebody wrote on Twitter which is which is of course like Macaulay Culkin should be the dad a piece in love to Pete Holmes you know dude's got to make some you know dude's got to get paid but like don't you feel like they're missing an opportunity to not having Macaulay Culkin as like the dad

in the film do you think there's a chance that he does make a like kind of a surprise appearance like a quick cameo in the movie that would if I were a betting person I'd probably put like four dollars and fifty cents down on that

well I noticed that they that they do not take a personal loan out to pay your bookie, Andrew. Okay. What's a bookie? I noticed that you're a weird person. I noticed that the cop, the cop who's coming out to investigate has McAllister. That's his name. It's like on his uniform and they flash to it and of course the original family is the McAllisters. So that's a little sly allusion to it. So that might be him.

Do you ever see the police officer in this trailer? Yes, you do. It's definitely not

Macaulay Culkin. Okay, I see. All right. Also, I don't know what's going on with Macaulay Culkin. Remember, he was supposed to be at Thing Festival. Yeah. Where we were performing. And he pulled out at the last minute, which I think is why Chris Gethard ended up coming out.

That's exactly the story. Yeah, because I remember seeing him because we were listed before him or somehow it looked like the way we were listed in the Seattle Times. We were billed before Macaulay Culkin. I remember showing that to somebody and saying, hey, look, hey, look, I got top billing over him. You know what this brings up for me? And again, we already just went on a memory lane that I don't know if it really served the listeners much about our road trip. But this, of course, brings back memories of me putting together a Home Alone 3 quiz in Chicago. Oh, yes. We were there to do a live show, and we also got to see the first snowfall of the year as we flew out. That was one of my most, like, as far as work trips are concerned, like, one of my most, like, kind of romantic memories. And I don't mean that. I mean, you and I did share some moments. But actually, I think Carrie was – I think Carrie ended up meeting us out there as well. Yes. Or coming with, but it was just such a wonderful weekend in so many ways. And I just remember sitting in my hotel window. There's a perfect little table, and I could look out. Because you were sick. I was under the weather, and I was drinking orange juice and cranberry juice, and maybe somebody accidentally put some vodka in there. I can't remember. But I'm watching Home Alone 3 for the first time, feeling just a little bit buzzed, and looking down at Chicago, one of my favorite cities, if not my favorite city in the world. On a crisp winter night Ah so good That's why Home Alone 3 is my favorite movie

Home Alone 6 It's amazing to me they've made 5 of them It's like call CPS They are neglecting this child Home Alone me once Shame on me Home Alone me 6 times Call CPS Somebody needs to look out for these children Is that really what it's called by the way

They're not giving it some clever name I feel like in this day and age Just be like home alone or something like that. It's just home alone straight up.

Home alone or it's.

Home Sweet Home Again.

Oh, okay.

But it's the sixth installation of the franchise. But, you know, watching this trailer, I'm like, again, this is not made for people my age necessarily. It's generally for younger people. And I watch it, and I'm just like, it's sort of weird to see Rob Delaney, who I follow him on Twitter, and he's got a very arch sense of humor. And in this movie, he's just getting nailed in the nads with, like, a pool ball and just going, like, yoy, yoy, yoy, and falling down. Eyes crossed. Yeah, exactly. And yet I bet you Home Alone, the original one, you know, if I were 45 and it were 1985 or whenever that movie came out and I saw the trailer and it's like Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern getting hit by paint cans, I would be like, this is some cornball shit. And yet that movie is considered a total classic and people love it, obviously. So I guess it's just kind of, you know, that's just how these films go. But watching it again without young children and seeing this, I'm just kind of it's strange to me to see these people. And again, Pete Holmes also Pete Holmes, somebody who is very funny to me and who I'm a big fan of just to see them kind of mugging in this way. That's not typically how I how I consume their content.

Yeah. You know, and not to be the guy who was too cool for school, because I mean, I know that's a role that I fulfill on the show. But I'm looking at Home Alone came out in 1990 and I was already 14 by that point or 13. So I was at the height of eye rolliness as a, you know, as a Gen X tween, you know. So I think I always thought the first Home Alone was pretty corny, like that whole like him smacking his face together. I don't know if people are familiar with the film, but there is a scene where Macaulay Culkin is surprised. He's a filthy animal. He slaps his face with both hands. I remember always just kind of like being like, oh, my God, that is, you know what I mean? Even that was never for me. I understand its place and culture now, but even at the time, I don't think I was really into it.

Yeah, I don't think I was a Home Alone head either. But then there's just some point where it becomes so just – it just so permeates the culture that you just kind of know about it. And you almost start to just have a retroactive, warm feelings about it because it just feels familiar. Who would have thunk it would be Kieran Culkin that had the real career? I know, right? You know, like, I mean, you know, I don't know what Macaulay Culkin is up to, but it's like Kieran Culkin's on Succession, right?

Yes, which I haven't seen, but Genevieve burned through all of those. You know, a movie for younger people that was made in the 90s that I was really late to the game to is Slapshot. No, but that almost feels like it should become a tradition in my house, even though I still haven't watched it with the sound on, is Hocus Pocus.

I don't know if you remember my journey. Hocus Pocus is having a whole thing. It's been having a whole thing. They're reshooting it. Do you know that?

No. Can I just tell you my journey on this? So I was at the Eagles about this time. It was a night just like this. It was probably almost exactly a year ago. And I was sitting at the Eagles and I was waiting for folks to show up. Remember, the pandemic was still, you know, things were still more locked down then. And so I remember like kind of communicating with people and people being like, you know, how busy is it there or whatever? And I happen to be the first one there, I think. And so I'm sitting at a table by myself, probably for a solid half hour, if not 45 minutes before anybody showed up. Maybe I was coming from somewhere else. I don't know. Anyway, music is playing on the jukebox or whatever. But on the TVs, they have with the sound down but captions on, hocus pocus. I had no connection to this movie at all. I knew it existed. I'd seen the title, but I had no connection, no backstory, no nothing. I got sucked into this movie. It must have, you know, maybe I caught near the beginning of the movie, and I'm just sitting there watching it with subtitles, and all of a sudden I'm like, man, I want to go home and, like, actually watch this in its entirety. I think I ended up watching, like, I don't know, at least an hour of that movie and really falling in love. I think I mentioned it on the show, and everybody's like, yeah, it's Hocus Pocus. It's a cult classic. I had no idea. People love Hocus Pocus.

The film follows a villainous comedic trio of witches, Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy, who are inadvertently resurrected by a teenage boy in Salem, Massachusetts on Halloween night. What's amazing is if you type Hocus Pocus into the internet, the second question that comes up is, is Hocus Pocus a true story? Sometimes I feel really good about the world and Americans, and sometimes I feel really bad. And what I see that the second most searched thing related to Hocus Pocus is is Hocus Pocus a true story. I don't I wouldn't say I feel hopeful for us as a society. I know we I wound you up with some Paul McCartney stuff yesterday, but I feel like I have to mention this. He's obviously doing a media tour, and I'm actually genuinely excited to read this.

David Remnick, who's the editor of The New Yorker and host of The New Yorker Radio Hour, he rarely actually writes pieces anymore because he's too busy editing The New Yorker. But he actually writes this. He wrote this huge profile of Paul McCartney, which I'm intrigued to read. But apparently in this piece, Paul McCartney says, I'm not sure I should say it, but they're a blues cover band. That's sort of what the Stones are. I think our net was cast a bit wider than theirs. So he is calling the Rolling Stones a blues cover band Which, I mean, that just, I mean I have to actually sort of say that's a spicy take I kind of like that he's, I like that he's being spicy about it I know you're like over Paul McCartney And you don't really like that he gets to write the history of the Beatles But what do you think about him taking on Mick Jagger I don't know, do they have bad blood? I mean, that is going to reverberate

Yeah, I don't think they had bad blood I don't know. I mean, to me, I mean, again, my take is very tired on day two. But to me, it's just him. It's just Paul McCartney has a huge ego. And I just think he has an opportunity to get more headlines. So he's going to try to get more headlines. And I think he knows this is provocative. And, you know, I mean, what he's doing is he's comparing the the it sounds like what he's doing is he's comparing the entire discography of the Beatles to the early days of the Rolling Stones. Whereas they were both coming out of, like, a very, you know, much different strip down. I mean, not to get nerdy, but I guess, you know, the Beatles were coming out of something that was more like Skiffle. They called Skiffle at the time, which had some elements, I think, of, like, kind of R&B and rock and roll, what would become rock and roll. Whereas, yeah, the Stones came out of a more strict, bluesy rock and roll background. But they both evolved. And then the Beatles got into, you know, psychedelics and all of that scene. But the the the stones played around in that space, too. I don't know. Yeah. To me, it's like I'm not saying that there's no truth in what he's saying with more context. And there might even be more context to this quote. But it does seem doesn't it just seem like Paul McCartney is like, hey, can I get near Kanye West? What was this like 10 years ago now? Can I get near Kanye West and just like give him a riff for a song so that everybody's talking me talking about me again? I feel like Paul McCartney really has issues of relevance. The idea if he ever stopped being relevant, I think he would just turn to dust.

I guess in that piece, I saw another poll quote from it, and it was just talking about it was like Ringo talking about Paul McCartney's just like work obsession. And Ringo was saying this is actually like a kind of funny quote. He's like, it was a sunny day in England. We get three of those a year and we're all basically like chilling. And Paul McCartney is like blowing our phone up. Like, you want to get in the studio? And we're like, no. we want to just sit outside and relax you know so it sounds like he's compulsively creating music and things you know I think you're right probably driven by this to some degree this fear of being irrelevant or forgotten or not talked about I wonder what Mick Jagger's response will be if any because I find it first of all I just listened to a big interview with Mick Jagger on the Howard Stern show and we've been talking a lot about as the Rolling Stones are touring America And Mick Jagger is just taking these photos In places Like in front of the St. Louis Arch Or in that kind of teeny tiny bar In North Carolina Mick Jagger seems like he's just In a very happy place He's just kind of Dude's like almost 80 And he's just in great shape And he's out there touring with the Stones And he's having a pint And he just seems like he's very comfortable In his own skin And then it's like Paul McCartney's over on the side Being like kind of slightly You know dragging the Rolling Stones I wonder if he'll even dignify with a response Or if he'll just laugh it off or whatever

I like that quote that you told me Because you know obviously I'm being hard on Paul McCartney And I have been The past couple of shows and you know like hearing

Believe me it's all in the New Yorker Article he takes a lot of shots at you

Oh no Oh good Does he get the name of the podcast right Because that's all I care about It's called After These Messages um i um what i was gonna say was like you know i'll bet you he was a workhorse and like i don't want i don't want anybody to think that my complaints about paul mccartney in 2021 clinging to his relevance is i don't want that to translate to andrew thinks paul mccartney is like either overrated or not that good like honestly like i mean i i listening i i told you this during the summer games i think it came up and i went back and i listened to some of the beatles stuff that I absolutely loved as a kid I loved the weirder stuff the more psychedelic it blew my mind I hadn't heard anything like that before and that stuff actually doesn't um it doesn't appeal to me as much now as it did then and I kind of had this eye-opening experience like oh my god the Beatles stuff that I used to obsess over is kind of corny and you know that's fine that's my taste but there's still so much that I love there's you know and in and that

I do still love the Beatles origin story, and I think that it's good for me to remember, like, to remember them just, like, not as, like, these cheeky guys who are writing their success and just, like, kind of, I don't know, kind of drinking their own Kool-Aid or reading their own press releases or smelling their own farts or choose. I don't think drinking your own Kool-Aid really fits into that list I just gave there. But, like, just kind of believing their own hype too much, right? And now Paul McCartney being the corniest of them is still one of them. I would say Ringo gives him a run. Yeah, no, you're right. But those are the two who are left to be the spokespeople.

It's like, how did they, how are they the last two standing?

Yeah, and I don't want to get into, you know, death matches. But like, but yeah, so, you know, like, yeah, you know, I said what I said, I guess. I do appreciate the Beatles and what they brought as my relationship to that music does continue to change. But I don't, I just don't want anybody to interpret it as me thinking like, oh, Paul McCartney doesn't deserve any of his ad, adulation. Is that the right word? Because he does But it still doesn't mean that I want to hear him in an interview

Well it's that I mean I wrote this tweet today Which was a joke but also semi-serious Which is I've been listening to a lot of Nirvana lately I wrote on Twitter Has anyone, have you guys listened to Nirvana? Not bad I-M-H-O I think it's I was listening to I forget I was listening to an interview with Butch Vig Who produced Nevermind And he was breaking down the kind of harmonies and well Dave Grohl has been doing a lot of press because he has this book out and so I think I've been hearing him and thinking about Nirvana so I went back and I've been listening to that album a lot and it's really good but then I started thinking I mean obviously it's really good but then I started thinking like god what would it be like if Kurt Cobain was still alive like what if Kurt Cobain was like anti-vaxxer or you know got MAGA on it or something I mean we will never know But it's interesting because when you have these these rock stars who make a make, you know, a body of work and then they leave the planet prematurely, they're just forever. I mean, I'm just essentially quoting Candle in the wind at this point. But you know what I mean? Like they just it's interesting because we we don't have the privilege and also the hassle of seeing what a 70 year old Kurt Cobain is like.

Yeah.

Whereas we know what a 70 year old Paul McCartney is like and what a 70 year old Ringo Starr is like.

Right. Or even like, I mean, I think that, I mean, listen, John was getting to go back to the Beatles. I mean, John was pretty annoying at times himself, right? Like, I actually think George was always just the coolest one. Like, George just could just handle his shit, right? I love George. But to go to the Cobain thing, I think you and I might have even hit on this once before. Like, I know what you're saying, and I've had kind of similar thoughts maybe even about Cobain specifically and maybe even other musicians. I like to think I'm just a big Nirvana fan and I love Kurt Cobain and he was on the right side of a lot of things he was a pretty outspoken feminist before men identified as feminists I know what you're saying but who knows people definitely as time goes on and his fame warps and his life warps I'm not saying that there isn't a chance that he could find himself on the wrong side of things were he still alive and living through these crazy days But I like to think that he would remain a voice for good. But anyway, yeah, no, those thoughts are interesting, especially when people are taken away at this age. It's funny. I have a similar thing with Nirvana. Like, I love Nirvana. Nirvana, I think, was like the first – ironically, Nirvana was the first group that I listened to that was still in existence while I listened to them, right? Like, I grew up listening to The Beatles and Led Zeppelin and Stones and Pink Floyd and blah, blah, blah, all that cliche stuff. And then somebody said, hey, have you heard this band Nirvana? I said, what are they like? And they said, you know, they're like an MTV buzz clip. And I said, all right. I don't know what that means, but I'll take your headphones and listen to it. Or I think the kid actually –

I saw them on 180 Minutes with Matt Pinfield.

And anyway, so I love them, but I don't listen to them a lot. You know, because, I don't know, it just does seem a little bit cliche. Or maybe we were so – there was so much Nirvana around us for so long, and now we're in Seattle. Like, in a certain way, it's just kind of like, well, first of all, I don't know when I just pop on an album, but maybe something seems cliche, or maybe I've just listened to those records so many times over and over and over in my youth, I don't see a need to go back to it. But I will say I was at the bar the other day, if you can imagine that, and I was rocking the jukebox, and I did put on a couple of Nirvana songs. I think I put on, like, Drain You, maybe, I don't know if you remember that song, and definitely that Unplugged. There's some real good jukebox favorites On that Unplugged record as well

I feel like an underrated Nirvana song Is Even As Youth Which was like the B-side I think I had like Smells Like Teen Spirit The K-Single Yep, that's the B-side And I think the B-side was Even His Youth Which I feel like is a really good song too Yeah, I haven't listened to that I haven't listened to Nevermind in forever Because I was hearing so much about Nirvana And thinking about it And also hanging out at the Vera Project And hanging out with people in the Seattle music scene I don't know, I guess I was feeling nostalgic on Sunday So when I was flying home, I listened to Nevermind And I was like, I couldn't believe how familiar I was With every single track on that album It's also from an era where you bought a CD i know i always tell this story or talk about this but it's like you you know rode your bike to silver platters by northgate mall and and got you know plopped down your 12 or 14 dollars and got the cd and then listened to every single track or maybe for that one maybe i went down to sonic boom or some cool record store because i was probably around the time when i was starting to like think i was a cool guy who hangs it on the ave so maybe i went to second time around but Anyway, I just know every single track off of that album, front to back.

Yeah, I mean, you listening to it on your headphones, just, I mean, that was how I first experienced it. I'm trying to remember what grade I was in. I want to say eighth grade, except I didn't take the bus in eighth grade. So anyway, I'm having a little bit of trouble remembering exactly how old I was. But I remember literally a kid on the school bus told me, you're going to love this. And then he made me a copy of it. And I think I was used – I remember I had a Black Walkman at this point that had Megabase on it. I never turned the Megabase off because why would you? Yeah, me too. And I didn't use the Sony headphones. Even at this point, I already had – I had fallen in love with a type of headphones that Radio Shack sold. And I had bought several of these over the years. They were kind of like modern earbuds, not obviously the earbuds. But, you know, they instead of being the type of headphones that had the band across your head to keep them on your ears, they were the kind that would go in your ears. And these came with a little disc, almost like a almost like maybe a birth control pill kind of case, you know?

Oh, yeah. And you wound them up.

You wound them up. Exactly. And those things sounded so good. And they were so loud. And I remember loving Nirvana so much and feeling like not everybody knew about Nirvana yet at this point. I mean, they were probably not in Cleveland. And I remember doing that thing where I would turn the I would literally this probably is haunting me now. But I would turn the volume up as loud as I possibly could because it would give you a visceral reaction. It would give me a visceral reaction, I should say, as the person listening. But also, like, there was this thing of just like, if I turn this loud enough, everybody will hear me rocking and they will enjoy this nirvana as well. Do you even can I can't quite explain it? That's not quite it, but that feeling of being a kid and being like, everybody's got to hear me listening to this.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

All right. Got any emails or V-mails? Yeah, just a quickie here.

We got a note from Megan in Horseheads, New York, right? Oh, yeah. Ithaca is gorgeous. That's so I hear. You know what else is gorgeous? I think they gave me the coffee from Ithaca. Indeed. You were talking about, in fact, we could maybe use an update here from you, Luke, because I don't think you updated this on the show. But last week you had mentioned dropping your iPhone and shattering the glass on it, right? You got that replaced?

Yeah, the bottom corner, I mean, shattering the glass is a little, makes it sound a little bit more extreme. It was just the bottom, like, right corner was kind of spiderwebbed.

And was it continuing to grow out? No, it wasn't.

It was pretty locked down. And I actually want to tell you about it. But first, what was Megan saying?

Oh, well, that's why I asked if it continued to spider, because maybe Megan is giving us some details here on why it didn't. She says, listening to you talk about cracking your phone, I work in the division of a company that makes the glass for those phones. The chemistry used to make that glass allows it to be cracked or crushed, and it won't continue to propagate, usually. What do you think of that? The glass you get at a kiosk at the mall is cheap soda lime glass that will break easily. It's not the same that is on the phone as you bought it. If you have Apple or Samsung replace the screen, it will be the original glass type.

Well I did get it fixed Even though I said I was going to see How far I could take it I decided I didn't want to do that I was like I just had a mood And so I googled like iPhone repair Portland and I called a place It was actually you would love this Andrew It was like something out of an 80's movie I call this guy He answers and he's like yeah I'll give you an appointment At 3.30 come on down He's in something called the Fine Arts Building Which is this old building in Portland It's probably like six stories and you get in this little tiny elevator. It felt like something out of like being John Malkovich. It's, like, a building that just has a bunch of, like, narrow hallways and a bunch of these little offices that do, like, whatever. But it's not, like, a modern, you know, skyscraper or a building with a lobby, like, you know, with somebody working there. It's, like, this little kind of weird, funky building. And I go in. I get in this tiny elevator. I go up to the fifth floor. And I walk down this long hall. And there's just this one door open. And it's this guy with all these iPhones and various things that he's, like, working on. And he even had, like, one of those magnifying glasses. I knew you were going to say that. A disc.

Yep, I could picture it.

You can picture this dude, right? Mm-hmm. And so he looks at the phone, and he's like, yeah, I can fix this. And so anyway, he fixes it. I went to run some errands while he was doing it. I came back, and it was like $200. Which is more than you were expecting. I thought it was going to be like $25, but I think it's because he put the real, the good glass on there. And he was really, this was the funny part He really wanted me to get a better phone case Like, not just because he wanted to sell it to me But because I think he was personally worried That I was going to do this again on my phone I have, you know, a case on my phone But it's like, it's not a protective case So much as, like if I drop it It doesn't offer very much protection Because it's very slim and very low profile I hate having a bulky case on my phone Because I'm always sliding it in and out of my pocket Yeah. So I basically have just decided like I, you know, maybe once every two years I'm going to have to get my phone fixed. But the tradeoff is I'm not like, you know, dealing with this giant phone that I'm always trying like that's getting stuck going in and out of my pocket because it's in some Otterbox case. But he did talk me into putting this Like a shatterproof thing Over the face of the phone Which I was surprised I didn't have that on my other phone I must have just not gotten it Or lost it or whatever So you know what I'm talking about Because you did this to your phone Where you thought your phone was broken And it was this protective glass So I now have that on there Which is at least something

Didn't that happen to you when we were doing our TBTL-a-thon A couple of years ago And we were staying at an undisclosed location And taking calls and whatnot You came in from a jog and you said Oh, no, I dropped my phone, and I shattered it, and I said, I think that's your cover, right? Do you remember that? And then you peeled it off, and it was just – you know, that's kind of where I am right now. I'm playing a very dangerous game, Dan-o. A while – I've been going through those, like, protective covers quite a bit. Like, I put them on, and the kind I get – like, you can get the kind that are less breakable, right? The kind that are more like a skin that you can put on there, but I don't like the feel of that. I like something that feels like glass. So I get those hard ones, but it doesn't take a lot to kind of crack those and get them to spider web. So, you know, this phone I've had for I don't know. I don't know how many years, four or five years now. And I'm sure I've put on four or five at least of those of those, you know, protective covers and they break and I replace them. The last time it broke, I bought the replacement and I haven't put it on, Luke. And it's just sitting there and I'm watching. I haven't dropped my phone or anything, but I'm watching the glass on my phone from constantly taking it in and out of my pocket and what have you and just wear and tear. Like I'm seeing that like it's just wearing down sort of just like tiny little scratches, almost like you get on your glasses or whatever on my phone. And every time I think, well, I should put that protective cover on. But now I'm like, ah, it's too late now. It's already got the it's already out. It's been out there in the world. I'm not going to like kind of trap those little scratches underneath plastic now.

Well, I have that on mine now, that plastic, and I'm sure it will help me if I drop the phone again. But it also means that when I tap the phone, like, it's not quite as responsive.

Oh, when you're paying.

You know, your phone to pay for things and whatnot. And also just type, like, if I'm texting. Oh, gotcha. When I'm hitting the phone with my fingers to, like, do text-based things, I've got to go. Or if I'm trying to take a picture, like, usually if I was, like, let's say I'm taking a selfie or something, I could hold my phone and I can kind of hit the photo button with my index finger. It doesn't respond anymore. Now I have to hold my phone differently and use my thumb, which is why I have to get those Facebook Ray-Bans now. Oh, yeah. Just so I can take pictures.

I actually forgot about those, yes.

I see ads on Instagram for those, and it is a constant battle to not buy them. Like, my prediction is next time you see me, I'll be wearing Facebook creeper glasses because they're just bombarding me with those ads. And it's very tempting. Well, you have to tell me. If you're a cop, you have to tell me.

Hey, can I say one more? Oh, go ahead. Okay.

I just had a song idea. Yeah, good. That's great.

I was just going to say really quickly, I don't know why I feel the need to shout this out, but you mentioned this place where you got that fixed. I have a place like that in my life called Jerry's Watch Repair. Genevieve got me this watch for my birthday a couple of years ago, and it's like a vintage watch, so it needs some extra love every now and then. And the first time we took it in, and she found this place. It's like, do you, are you familiar?

with this place it's in something called the melbourne or melbourne tower in downtown seattle and it's exactly it's like an old school building you take like just a classic old school elevator up not the kind with the gate not quite that old but the kind of elevator that has the buttons where you when you go to push it you're not actually pushing a button but then the ring around it lights up just it senses your finger and then you take it to like the fourth floor and i don't know what's going on in every other little office up there but you just make your way down to jerry and then he you buzz and he lets you into his little place where he's got all that equipment

as you described this i'm looking at a picture of it jerry's watch repair this is literally the exact kind of place i got my phone fixed just like one of those just like a building full of tiny like almost windowless offices i don't know what everyone's doing in all these random rooms but But one of them is this guy with, like, you know, a disc magnifying glass and, like, some kind of, you know, visor on who's just, like, spending all day, you know, taking apart phones and putting them back together.

And caring. That's what I really liked about him. Yes. Kind of like you mentioned your guy. He wants you to protect it, not just sell you this thing. I just get great vibes from Jerry. Highly recommend. For all those people who are still wearing non-Apple watches, go to Jerry.

Yeah. I was wondering if we could go out with the Stones song. Could we go out with Fool to Cry? Yeah. I feel like this is much more than just a blues cover band making this song Sir McCartney. So, yeah, we'll do that, and we'll call it a day. We'll be back here tomorrow, though, with more Imaginary Radio for you. So we'll see you all then. Until then, have a great Tuesday. Stay safe, take care of each other, and please remember, new mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Well, I come home, baby And I've been working all night long But put my daughter on my knee And she said Daddy What's wrong She whispered in my ear So sweet You know what she said She said Daddy you're a fool of crime You're a fool of crime And it makes me wonder You know, I got a woman, and she live in a poor part of town. And I go see her sometime And we make love so fast I put my head on her shoulder She said, tell me I'm in trouble You know what she said She said, ooh Daddy, you're a fool You're a fool

It's a cosmic mix of the action of the 90s combined with the exploitation films of the 70s. But with modern touches, it's hyper-violence, but it knows that it is. It's a little bit Tarantino. It's definitely a little bit Michael Mann. It's kind of a cosmic gumbo. It almost moves to the beat of jazz.

Power out.