Muse

I think what they were doing was good. To me, you rehearse, you rehearse, you get it perfect. You know exactly what you're doing, and then you forget about it. Let me pinpoint you. You said they learn it, they forget it, and that's okay. That's great. Well, they've forgotten it. But they never learned it. So when did they learn it? I'm just saying, when do we have it? But what I'm saying is if they're going to forget it anyway, then what difference does it make? I mean, you see what I mean? It's like one of those, it's a zen thing. It's like, you know, you know, how many babies, you know, fit in the in the tire thing that hold the old joke, you know, TBTL.

In 1971, Bill Grates invented Microsoft. Wouldn't it be cool if I could remember my dingus password for my email? I eat Chinese food almost every day. Just remind myself to be a little bit crazy all day long. Chips and dips, chips and dips. I love chips and dips.

Is there, and I'm just guessing here, some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of and have taken none of, or maybe too much of today?

Who saw that coming? You know, for me to say I wasn't a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.

That is without question the funniest story I've ever heard.

God, this is so boring!

For both of us.

all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live hey where's the freaking gabagoo my name is luke burbank i am your host i'm here i'm available for y'all coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center right here in Portland, Oregon, where we have arrived, my friends, at episode 3,546 in the collector's series. Let the fun begin. I'm laughing to myself because as I stand here looking out on the neighborhood adjacent to my apartment building, I'm realizing something. What I'm realizing is that I am annoying. so i had the um you know um maintenance staff come in and remove a window screen uh that was on this window that i look out because it kind of made it hard to see and because i don't plan to open the window ever uh because well i'm broadcasting from in here but what i realized is because so one thing that happened was the the guy came in and took the screen off which was nice and but then i had this giant screen here in the office like a very large window screen that i didn't really know where to put so i called down to the office and i said thank you for getting them to take the screen off but now i have a screen is there somewhere i can put this that's not my apartment and the the staff is very nice here but i could just hear just the faintest hint behind the voice of the person who said yeah just bring it down to the office and i'll figure something out so that was yesterday and today as i look out the window i realized that because there's been a screen on this window this window has not been washed it's extremely dusty and i can't get to it it only opens a little bit uh like the there's another window in this room and it's just beautiful because i'm sure that not long ago they had some folks rappelling down this building to wash all of the windows you know the ones they didn't wash the ones that had a screen on them do I the answer by the way is no I don't do this do I call back down later today and say thank you for taking the screen off thank you for hiding the screen for me but could you please send some kind of window washing apparatus out here because the window is too dusty I will not do that probably until next week at the earliest all right here we go everyone we have a great show in store for you lots of window talk lots just the the the the the would it be the fenestration if i came in through a window would that be fenestration because defenestration is to be thrown out a window anyway uh lots to talk about that's not window related on the program today including the welcome to the internet interesting story of the move to try to get a donkey emoji

into the kind of Unicode source.

No donkeys, no horses, no cows. Whatever you've got that doesn't eat.

Because there is an elephant emoji. There's not a donkey as of right now. And there is an application going on to try to get that remedied so that, you know, both political parties have their emoji representation. We will talk about that. Of course, that's the biggest political news here on this Wednesday.

I have been a Republican in times good. and I have been a Republican and Jordan's bad!

It's the donkey emoji. That's the only political news I really want to talk about on this Wednesday morning and so that's what we will talk about. Also, Fluffernutter is now officially a word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Sooner or later, gentlemen, and you will eat your word. Fluffernutter, for those who are not New Englanders and are not familiar, is a sandwich with a very particular kind of marshmallow, spreadable marshmallow. It's called marshmallow fluff in the sandwich, and then peanut butter.

I call cakes big old cookies.

A really healthy lunch, if you think about it. Just spread some marshmallow and some peanut butter on a sandwich and go take on your day. Anyway, there are some dazzling deets in this article about the obsession with fluffernutters in the northeast and not unlike the donkey emoji the move to get the fluffernutter uh established as the official sandwich of massachusetts uh so we'll um talk about that too plus we'll talk to this guy the longest running cobro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is andrew what are you doing here walsh and he's joining me right now from the roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I told you I have some personal news at the top of the show here, which is true. This is something that apparently happens to all adults at some point in their life. That's what I've heard. Somehow I got to be 45 years old without this ever happening to me, so I thought I had slipped through the cracks somehow. But yesterday, as I was sorting out some mail, like 90% of the mail that comes to our house is, you know, just junk mail. And I almost threw this out with the junk mail until I noticed a big black box with white letters that says official jury duty notice. Whoa. It's happening. What? I've never done jury duty. Never even been called to, you know, be screened for jury duty or whatever it's called. I don't know the language. I'm unfamiliar with this process, but I believe it's called the voir dire.

The voir dire. That's the process of selecting a jury. Really?

Look at you. Jeez Louise. Pretty early for that kind of language.

The big brain on burbs.

Yeah. But anyway, yeah, no, this is no joke. I've never, seriously, I've never participated in this civic process before, but I just have, I'm holding a card right here. It says, you have been summoned for jury service. I've never been summoned for anything before. It's intimidating. are you gonna do it well i mean you don't have a choice do you i mean how many times you think

i've gotten a summons for jury duty well what do you do you just ignore it don't won't they arrest sometimes no that's not true everyone holds your emails i've actually been down a couple times uh and then i forget why i think because i worked in the media i was uh sort of um removed from the jury pool a couple of times but other times I've just said I can't do this because I have to work and you just mail something in that's been my experience again jury duty is important we all deserve a you know a fair trial and a trial of our peers I'm not here to run down jury duty so everyone please calm down preemptively but it is a thing you can get out of but also it's a thing that's kind of fascinating our friend tune did uh was on a jury about some kind of a it was a civil case but it was involving a surgery gone awry and she was relaying the details to me and it actually sounded quite fascinating so i mean i'm i'm assuming you're gonna go at least uh you know go through the the initial steps and see if they let you on i mean who knows you could get the um I'm trying to think what would be a real hot ticket case in the state of Washington.

Well, yeah, I don't know. I'm sure there's weird things happening all over all over the county. But here's the deal. Like, I mean, I do. I don't think I would try to wriggle out of this anyway, unless it really was an impediment to my job. But actually, we have flexibility built into our job here. So I don't want to lie just to get out of this. Also, I feel like I should do it. And also, frankly, this could make this could be part of my job. Although if I say that during the screening process.

I believe you will be removed. I believe I'll be removed.

Why do you want to be a part of this jury? This is great content for my podcast. Yeah, exactly. Well, because I can't keep a secret. But I don't know. I'll go through the process. I'll let you know how it goes. It looks like it says you've been summoned for jury service with King County Superior Court at one of three possible locations. They don't mention which three it might be on November 22nd. So that's coming up here. Um, that's a Monday, I believe. So I might have to, we might have to work around this for TBTL purposes. If I do have to show up in person, which I'm assuming I do, I have to, um, register on, uh, uh, online here, but, uh, you know, I don't know what time that'll be. My guess is it's a morning thing. My guess is maybe you and I can do an afternoon show that day or something, but I think that it'll be interesting to, um, I mean, maybe it's not interesting. I mean, maybe everybody in the listening audience.

has already gone through this process, so it's not interesting. But I'm interested. It's a mystery to me. Everything I know about jury duty I learned from 30 Rock, and I know that if you're a TV producer who wants to get out of it, you should try dressing up like Princess Leia. That's all I know about jury service.

Now, let's see here. I was going to see if I could find that actual clip. Let's see here.

Oh, do you have that? Is that something that you've pulled before or you're looking at a lie?

I don't really think it's fair for me to be in a jury

because i can read thoughts yes yes you know exactly what i'm talking about now are you going

to be hurt if you are not selected to make it onto the actual jury because of course there's a sort of a large group of people uh that come down and then there's an interview process i'd you fill out some forms etc and then they decide if you are worthy of of rendering judgment in this particular matter Now, if they decide that you are not worthy of rendering judgment, if they if they think that you are either because you're part of the MSM, the mainstream media, or just because if we were mainstream, I would kill to be part of the liberal agenda of the mainstream media. I would take lamestream.

I mean, I would take media at this point.

But if you go through the thing and they just decide that you can't be objective or they don't trust your opinion or you have something about you or your job or just your way of life or the fact that your fantasy team can't seem to get a win, if they decide to not include you in the jury, will you feel judged and feel bad? Or will you be relieved?

That's something that I had not even considered. But, yeah, obviously, now that you say it, I'll feel shitty. So we've got to win this. We've got to win jury duty, people. At first, I was like, well.

I heard the jury's still out on science.

It sounds like, I mean, from the few people I've talked to who've gone through this experience at all, and I don't even, I think maybe, I'm trying to think, Genevieve might have been summoned before but never picked. Same with some roommates of hers. Like, it's just, I know so few people who I've had this conversation with. So it seems like it's always like, oh, yeah, I don't know. They didn't pick me. Yeah, I don't know. They didn't pick me. So I've kind of assumed that this won't actually get in the way of much work. I just figured now they won't pick me. But you're right now. If they don't now, it's like if they pick me, it's going to be a pain in the ass. If they don't pick me, I'm going to be really sad about that. So I don't know. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, because, I mean, not to center myself in the story, but, you know, jury duty is not a it's not a non time intensive thing. If you get selected, like the trial could go for three months and you could have to be in the court every day from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m.

How are we going to deal with that?

New co-host Genevieve.

No. Wow. You will become the mainstream media. Congratulations to both. I would. Hey, I'll start listening.

So how would that be for your self-esteem If you do get picked for the jury But Genevieve joins the show

And our downloads go up And then you two run off together The trifecta I mean it's a good point But I'll be honest Listen I'm not going to beg to be on it But I'm just going to do my service You've got to do it

As they say your civic duty It is you know Again this is part of the system Here in the United States And if nobody shows up for the jury duty, the system kind of falls apart. And Lord knows we need as many of these systems operating as possible because they're all under some form of threat. Speaking of crime and punishment, Andrew, can I just tell you, last night I decided to do a little exploring in my new neighborhood. And I, of course, that usually means locating a bar that seems friendly and where I might post up on occasion. And so I took a little walk. It was actually a lovely night here in Portland. And, well, first I made, remember I was very excited to get all my pictures hung here in the apartment and then to make some dinner. And I did that. I made a little pasta with some vegetarian sausage, some beyond Italian spicy sausage, which I say is the most edible of the plant-based fake sausages. Look for it.

And this is ground sausage?

No, they're like, it's like, looks like a, do I say, am I saying this right? Kielbasa. You say kielbasa.

Yeah, I say kielbasa, but I don't think I say it right, but that's just the way I've said it. It looks like that, though.

But anyway, I made that. It was delicious. And then, again, it was kind of a nice night, and so I decided to go on a little adventure. And I wander over to a bar that's like a five-minute walk from my house. It looked really inviting and cool, and I walk in, and...

When you say it looked inviting and cool, what do you mean? what was your impression from the outside inviting and not too fancy and

And just I'm I'm being nonspecific because I'm I'm not like after a few kind of minor incidents, I'm trying to not literally give the exact cross streets where I live. Yeah, sure. And also literally the places where I go to socialize. I'm not saying that to reprimand you. I'm just explaining why I'm being a little vague.

Let me be very specific, though. Does this see? And if you don't answer this, you don't have to. And I can cut this out if it does get too close to the bone. But here's my question is, does it seem like the type of place that's been around for like a long, long time? Or is it more of a kind of a place like the kind of quasi dive bars I go to, but they're kind of new dive bars?

It's along the lines of the quasi dive bars you go to, but it's not it doesn't look new. It looks just kind of like a neighborhood joint that's not fancy. Probably whatever food they serve is probably all deep fried. Like it's they don't have a menu. It's not gastro pub. They're not trying to, you know, win any James Beard awards. It's just kind of like a typical neighborhood bar. Lots of neon signs in the window advertising the different kinds of beers and alcohol that they sell in there.

But not necessarily a super scruffy clientele, because sometimes we'll find ourselves at those kinds of bars, too, around here in Seattle. And I think, you know, the type of bars I'm talking about where it's a little bit. I mean, stabby is a very maybe a loaded word.

Well, this is the interesting part, Andrew. I walk into the bar and I see that there's a TV reporter being filmed in the bar. She's standing in the bar. The camera is lit up. I immediately empathize with her because like this is the kind of thing that I now do for my job a lot. And it's always embarrassing to me. And I hate it when I'm standing on the side of the road and the cameras are set up and people are just like driving by beeping or whatever. Like I'm very embarrassed about working in television. So when I see someone else doing that job, I feel I kind of feel for them. But I was confused because I just didn't Quite realize what was going on also There was just a camera person and then This anchor and I didn't know if this anchor Was this is where my brain went which is very Weird I'm not anchor reporter Where my brain went initially was I wonder if this person is shooting a travel Piece about bars In Portland like some Kind of food network thing or some kind of Who knows it just it didn't seem like a very Big production can I make

a guess do you mind or would that blow your story no is it election night is she getting the pulse of the people in this neighborhood bar on election night that actually would have been a really

reasonable guess would have been better than my guess that this was some travel show or something but um but no i look at the woman and then i look up at the tvs in the bar and she's on the tvs they have it live it's a live she is live from the bar on the news talking about the fact that this bar has been robbed at gunpoint twice in the last week whoa sorry that that was a laugh

turned cough turned greg cody sorry about that um whoa that's that's your very first i'm hearing

her talk i'm hearing her talk through the television and the chyron is like local bar robbed at gunpoint twice in the last week and then this was the truly amazing part she signs off and then the anchor goes and part of what she says at the end is and this is i i can't even begin to get into how frustrating this kind of thing is but the portland police have now tried to push the narrative that they're not going to enforce things in portland i mean not every police officer but certainly the you know the union and the people that do most of the public speaking on behalf of the police are basically pouting because they don't like that there are some very minor attempts to hold them accountable and so they want to take their tasers and go home basically and so the uh reporter says something like this you know uh something to the effect of there's been a you know an uptick in crime in portland some people associate or some people link it to the fact that the police say they're not enforcing things in the city of portland And then the anchor, the person in the studio on television says, well, if you're going to rob something in Portland, this is the week to do it. And the entire bar goes, what the hell?

Oh, my God. I already know. I know the name of this bar. I'm looking at the story online right now, by the way. So good job covering your tracks in the snow.

I guess that's a pretty specific story.

Like the whole bar is like, what? Like, we're incredulous that the anchor basically just put a third hit out on this bar saying, well, if you're going to rob something, go like this is the time to do it. Or if you're going to commit a crime in Portland, this is the time to do it. Something to that effect. We were all just like, what are you talking? Like, who says that on television?

What a terrible lead. What a terrible lead. Oh, my God. I'm surprised it's not a it's not it was not a Fox reporter, though. It was not a local Fox affiliate, too, apparently.

Can you actually find the story? Is it there? Yeah. You just want to hear it.

video i'm reading the text i don't know if the video is going to pay off i think this might be

her stand up let's take a listen second robbery uh in the last month and it's they both was at the gunpoint it's unfortunate to hear that they're put in that situation our owner says crime in

portland is out of control in the portland police bureau needs to step it up oleg pilipenko owns katie o'brien's in northeast portland which i'll beep it don't worry about it luke uh whatever

Listen, the listeners have the same Google skills as you do.

It's been broken into more than once. Last night, robbers pointed a gun in the face of his employee. Good evening. Thanks for joining us for K2 News at 11, everybody. I'm Steve Dunn. And I'm Debra Knapp. K2's Frances Lynn is live with us in front of... I'm looking for you in the background. Is that employee okay?

Yeah, she's okay. Nobody was hurt during the robbery last night. At around midnight, the robber, dressed in all black, came in through that door and then pointed a gun at one of the bartenders. He ended up getting away with about $1,000.

Can I just mention that they're moving around? This camera is not on a tripod at first. No, it's on the guy's shoulder. Yeah, it's very cinema verite, kind of shaky, a little bit too shaky at first. But now the reporter is walking around the bar gesturing towards various things, and the camera is following her. It looks like they've steadied things out a bit.

Money isn't the owner's main concern right now. Oleg Pilipinko says it's hard enough finding employees during this pandemic, but now his employees are afraid to work.

We're not talking about financially now. Right now, we're pretty much doing it to keep our crew safe. We just changed our hours. We're going to reduce it, and we're going to close at midnight.

He says insurance companies aren't helping.

We're seeing some B-roll here. We're seeing some people drinking and dining. This bar looks great, by the way.

It's going to go up next time? Yeah, the robberies. Yeah. And it's a common thing right now in our industry.

Police have responded, but Pilipinko says it's not enough.

In the last 30 days, it's the same cop coming here. He doesn't even have a backup. He's the only single guy for the whole area around here. He's a nice guy. He tried to help us again.

I reached out to PPB. They say they responded, spoke with employees, and searched the area, but they didn't find a suspect. K2 has reported about PPB's staffing issue. Here's what one sergeant recently told us.

With staffing levels like these, we're really, it's really a good time to commit crimes. We're practically incentivizing it. He's just trying to do the job. That was the guy.

I'm sorry. It wasn't the anchor. It was not the anchor. I see.

So you're watching it on TV and the TV sound is up. So it wasn't, oh my. Yes.

Thank you for, I'm glad we played it to clarify. It wasn't I don't want to besmirch the person, you know, on TV who works for the news department. That was the police.

I mean, come do your job or get another job. I'm so I can't not today. Not in the election. I can't. Right. I can't do this today. Let's talk about jury duty.

What a convict that police spokesperson of just being a complete and total wearing a badge and saying that shit.

Yeah. I mean, can you believe that? You guys are doing a great job being held accountable.

Yeah.

Anyway, so how's the bar, though? How was the bar?

Oh, it was great. I mean, it was nice. It closed at 12, too. I got a lot of sleep. I got home earlier than I would have otherwise. It does look...

It looks great. I mean, it really looks like my... I think I'm... I mean, the sign is wonderful. I think I'm seeing a jukebox in the background. It may not be a touch tunes. Is that an actual... It isn't. It's an old-school CD-style jukebox.

No, I think that's maybe a cigarette machine.

Oh, wow. I don't even think they have a jukebox. Wow. Yeah, pool tables. Yeah, I had a jukebox, but somebody used it. Yeah, a cop stole it to send a message. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, so that was my night last night.

So did you stick around for a bit?

Yeah, I did. I commiserated with the other patrons about how BS that was that that police officer said that in the in the report and uh and then i uh i walked home it's it's also it's a nice distance from me because it's it's a healthful walk to get over there and it's also a healthful walk to get back kind of burn off a little bit of the uh alcohol calories and and uh get some fresh air so yeah i mean i i i will be uh i'll be back yeah um i i'm not gonna let what the portland police are saying

about portland keep me oh my we're encouraging or not encouraging it uh disincentivizing it i can't remember what he said um yeah i was about to ask you how far away it is exactly and i was like i literally was about to ask a specific because i i have a theory that there's a perfect amount away a bar should be like teddy's is very close which is really convenient i like that it's this close but i actually think teddy's needs to be double the distance yeah exactly just like especially for the walk home because the walk home after a night

at a bar is really nice i always think of like somewhere between a quarter of a mile and a half a mile somewhere in there is the actual sweet spot for a local watering hole but well i don't

want to put you on blast but i always i generally know when you've been to the eagles in the summertime oh yeah because i take all those photos because yeah because the photos i recognize the photos on instagram of things that you have seen on your walk home yeah yeah um yeah we always walk

to the eagles the eagles is i'm gonna say exactly one mile or maybe 1.1 mile from our house longer than a mile to me but i think it's just maybe a maybe like i say maybe a shade over a mile but the funny thing about that walk is it's it's not a very nice walk necessarily i mean there's sidewalks the whole way it's not like you're crossing parking lots or some sort of like kind of blight or anything but you know there's some crummy areas some crummy areas that i think are really photogenic um but i say it's not a very nice walk because it's a slow uphill almost the entire way or maybe the first i don't know three quarters or more of a mile which is just like a very slow incline and especially this time of year i can't regulate my temperature very well like i leave the house and i put on my uh my wool um i have like a pea coat that i wear i like it and it's perfect at first but then if you're walking at a clip and genevieve definitely likes to walk at a clip um and i might have my backpack on so i can have my darts and you know whatever else is in my fun bag i might have a camera slung around me you know by the time i'm a half a mile up this slow incline i like my face is perfect because it's exposed to the air but my body is too hot right and now i'm like kind of sweating under my coat so you kind of show up and you're feeling a little like kind of sweaty by the time you show up that's not great the walk home perfect for the exact opposite reason just a nice slow downhill uh well maybe on friday we'll

um because i'm going to be in seattle on friday and and just a heads up to everyone uh we're going to actually do kind of a special show on friday it's going to be a little later than usual because i have a uh a sort of side gig going on in the daytime but because i'm going to be at andrew's house we're going to be able to take calls so i guess the plan will be uh for us to Put it out on social media whenever it is that we actually start, you know, the recording of the show sometime in the kind of, I think, early afternoon. And if you want to give us a call, you can. And then, you know, who knows? Maybe afterwards we we can do a little a little rolling thunder. Yeah. Or something like that.

For the listeners, I'll try to I'll definitely put it out on Twitter again when we open the phone lines. And again, I'm thinking that'll probably be, you know, early to mid-afternoon Pacific time, which means, you know, getting kind of late afternoon on the East Coast. The show won't be posting probably on Friday until evening time, East Coast time. So don't be concerned about that. But, yeah, it'll be a fun show because we'll be here in person. And like you say, we can open up the phone lines. And I'll try to remind people of that tomorrow as well because people do get concerned. I noticed that if the show isn't posted by 2.30 Pacific time, people start to really worry.

All right, let's do a quick break here, and then we'll get to our top stories and some e-mails and v-mails coming up here on TBTL. All right, let's thank some donors of the day. These are the fine folks making today's episode of the show possible with their financial support. folks like camion guyer out there in belfair washington that's not too far from my folks actually uh beautiful belfair washington thanks camion sydney hoffert is in ann arbor michigan thank you very much sydney for supporting the program jason kroeg is in puyallup Washington. Thank you Jason. Anand Rajaraman is in San Francisco, California where I will be next week. Andrew, I don't know what I've gotten myself into. I'm going down to San Francisco next week for a TV thing. It's like this ranch dressing story that I was working on. This is one more element of the story. I'm going to like the ranch HQ. They're going to give me a bunch of weird

ranch to eat uh pretty much your living nightmare do they call it the ranch ranch yeah i'm anti

ranch but do they call it the ranch ranch i don't think so i mean it's owned by clorox missed opportunity um but i didn't want to have i i was initially like very resistant to to actually going down to their headquarters because i didn't want it just to turn into a pr piece for ranch but i think the angle is going to be get a load of this bs that they're doing now because like ranch has almost an entire aisle of the grocery store now because you know profit drives everything and it's not enough to just have ranch it's got to have you know every flavor blasting possible but no the thing that i'm hesitating about is that i'm also now going to be working on a story about cold water swimmers not polar bear plungers not the people that run and jump in the cold water for one second and raise money for you know some charity these are people who swim in the middle of winter in like the waters like the san francisco obey and i have to swim with them andrew why do they do it well it's healthful i mean there actually is some interesting i mean there's some health dangers you could get hypothermia but there's also a interesting uh research around the kind of healthful effects of of of submitting your body or subjecting your body to cold temperatures like that and um and you know it's a group activity and it a lot of people the people that do it they feel like it really kind of puts their day uh gets them off to a good start in their day but here's the thing that i just realized was like after i'd already agreed to do it was that is shark territory my friend like i'm a guy who once got out of my grandmother's swimming pool at her condo in bellevue because i started thinking about sharks yeah but you were 35 then i mean that's legit shark territory over there like i mean those waters they are cold to us but they're pretty ideal for sharks for great whites andrew in fact there have been incidents where these open water cold water swimmers get menaced by sharks because the sharks think they're seals uh it's kind of it's sort of out of context for the sharks because it's like what is this most humans aren't swimming in that cold water that time of year so they're like a little confused they're like maybe i'll go bump this with my nose and figure out what's going on i have agreed to basically live inside of my nightmare which is swimming in the open ocean where there are sharks you know how um there's a joke when you're a little

kid like if your um if your left foot hurts and you complain to i don't know your uncle he might say i'll fix it for you hit your right foot harder so that your right foot hurts and you forget about your left foot uh-huh what if i replace your fear because when you started to say it's like what have you gotten yourself into it's i thought you're gonna say that's not shark territory but that's shirtless territory you are going to be shirtless on national television yeah that's are you kidding me because sharks i mean i'm not excited about it eaten by a shark but you are

going to be shirtless on tv shirtless wet like my my my beautiful carefully coiffed hair it's i mean it's just a complete nightmare but andrew this is my commitment to television journalism is that i'm willing to do it but i'm kind of terrified so uh anand if you want to swing by san francisco bay next week just keep an eye out for sharks that would really help thank you uh shannon roberts is in seattle washington thank you shannon for the support and then jennifer miller down there in fullerton california uh every time fullerton comes up on the show i have to mention the biola hour which was a bible radio show that used to be based out of fullerton uh that i used to listen to as a kid uh so jennifer thank you for checking in from fullerton thanks to all of our donors of the day thanks for making this show possible we really do appreciate you hello and welcome to top story in political news that doesn't make us super sad today um well i i can't believe i'm doing this andrew i can't believe we're gonna actually like this is not the place for this but i people much smarter than me i guess know what they're writing about but every headline this morning about the the shock over the fact that virginia uh elected a republican governor despite the fact uh that you know joe biden won the state is it's just it's not shocking to me if you look at the history of virginia politics it is a state that goes back and forth and it is a state that has elected elected republican governors and democrat governors it is not like a you know what i mean like i mean it's not i i don't it's i think part of it is i don't want to believe that this is a terrible sign for the democrats and so i choose to figure that the people right because like i this morning was pretty bleak like every news outlet that i looked at was just like the you know in 20 point red font saying basically the democrats are are hosed and i don't want to read that information so maybe i'm trying to come up with a counter-narrative. But, I mean, Glenn Youngkin was slightly ahead in the polls over Terry McAuliffe. He won in a state that is sort of considered, I think, mostly considered to be a purple state because it sort of goes back and forth depending. And also it's very typical that the party that has the White House the governor's seat in Virginia goes to the other party, which is, again, a pretty typical thing. I guess I was just not as shocked by all this. It will be sort of shocking if the New Jersey governor's race goes to a Republican. That will be pretty wild. But the Virginia one just didn't stun me as much as it seems like it stunned everyone else. I don't know what's going on.

You know, my nose is a little bit more into the local elections here in Seattle, which just broke real, real bad. And I just think... What happened? Well, just like every never have I voted a slate of candidates where none of my this is Seattle, usually like the people I vote for end up winning, which is a hashtag blessing. But some real deplorable people were on the ticket, especially somebody running for city council. And I'm just I'm I'm I'm just really bummed about the mayor's race, the city council race, the city attorney race, just like every every person who shouldn't have won one. And that's a real bummer from my perspective here in Seattle. So that's kind of where my head is this morning. I honestly don't. I mean, I can't come on any kind of a, you know, now that we're are we mainstream yet? Or is that after Genevieve takes over my role mainstream media? But like, I can't really comment on the national the national perspective. I know, you know, it's it's not a harbinger of great things to come. I think the thing I mean, the only thing and this is so out of context and you can tell me I'm wrong or whatever. The only thing that I sort of knew about this Republican in Virginia was that he was just like running on, you know, there's that there's that he's not a Romney Republican. This isn't just like politics don't feel natural like they used to like, hey, well, we disagree on some fundamental things. But like it's just that it seems like the Fox candidate one. Right. He's running on. We're not going to we won't teach critical race theory in our schools. And it's like nobody's teaching. Like, wasn't that a big part of his campaign? It was the central part of the central thing. And it's not being taught in the schools. It's just the made up Tucker Carlson-iness of the win that I think is probably frustrating for a lot of people and myself.

It is frustrating, although this is what's really messed up, is this guy, Glenn Youngkin in Virginia, he at least, he isn't Trump. Like, in order to win that state, he had to do this very, very tricky thing, which was not alienate the Trump base, but also not be seen as, like, so in league with Trump that it turned off kind of moderates. Yeah. And so he did this weird thing where, like, Trump would be having these, like, weird events he would, like, call into and shit. and like Youngkin would like not show up but they were for Youngkin actually there was like

wasn't there this last week an event for Youngkin and he wasn't part of it yeah right because he was

trying to kind of like split this difference but like I have to say the fact that he is not an existential threat to democracy as far as I can tell even though he was absolutely just race baiting the voters over this made-up critical race theory thing the fact that I didn't see him as somebody who if he lost was going to try to create another insurrection was comforting which just shows you how far things have slid that the like a person could have a terrible politics that hurt people but is but if they don't seem like they're actually going to try to like literally end however many hundreds of years of like the peaceful transfer of power this country has historically had post like civil war or whatever like that counts for something to me which is again really messed up the bar has gotten very very low like i would take a republican who was bad if they would just at least agree that elections are not rigged and if they lose they will just say yeah bummer i lost and if they win they'll win with grace like the fact that glenn young can seems like a politics aside a semi-normal human being meant something to me which again

largely speaking is messed up well yeah and you know i'll turn this back on myself a little bit though too as far as um you know it because i'm decrying extremism on the other side and you know one thing that i again sorry to bring it back to seattle and i kind of don't feel like getting into the details of seattle it doesn't matter like i vote a very progressive slate usually the progressive slate wins. This time it didn't. Issues that are important to me are very tied up in this race. And some of the people who won are on very much the wrong side of these issues. And what I tell myself when I'm feeling very bummed about it this morning, as I did waking up feeling very bummed about it. And by the way, just one quick aside here, too. It's kind of weird. I mean, these are blowout races here in Seattle. Usually we wouldn't know yet, especially because the more progressive voters vote late usually we'd still have like well um you know it's too close to tell even though you know somebody might have a significant margin but these margins are pretty much you know even all the responsible media saying these margins are pretty much insurmountable which is that's something you know the voters have spoken and and what i'm trying to tell myself is While we're speaking of extremism, like if I were living in a different part of this of the country, if I was living in a different city in a different part of the country, like where I grew up, I'd probably be pretty psyched about the people who were elected. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm trying to remind myself or convince myself that these people who I think of in some of the statements they've made have been awful. Yeah, but like that's because of where I am and I'm used to living in my incredibly progressive bubble here.

Yeah. Bruce Harrell is not, you know, I don't know nearly as much about that race as you do, but like Bruce Harrell, probably you put him in many number of other cities would be considered a liberal.

Yeah, no. And I'm sure he considers himself a liberal. I mean, he was he's a Democrat, like almost all these people are Democrats, with the exception of the city attorney. She actually switched parties to run on the Republican ticket. So anyway, yeah, no, I mean, you know, it is I'm not going to change my feelings and I'm not going to forgive shit that I heard him say during the campaign. And I don't think it's right. And I'm really bummed about it. So I'm not trying to talk myself out of my feelings. And and hopefully those of us who live in the city who feel this way will do whatever we can to, you know, make change and maybe influence the next round of elections. I think the bummer, though, is, too, like, you know, when we see what happens in the big, you know, in the big close national elections, like we saw, you know, obviously in the last the last election cycle, one of the things that you hear a lot of like liberals and progressives say is, remember, the politics start at the at the at the local level. Right. So, like, let's let's keep up this fire in our belly. Let's let's get these candidates in in the shoot early on and work their way up. And so when you see the stuff falling, you know, at the city level and county level, actually, the county level didn't break too bad. But it's just kind of it's just a bummer.

You just think that, like, are you bummed that Kathy Lambert lost, though?

No, I'm not. Yes. You know, no. See, that that that that was a little good one. That's a good one.

Yeah.

Well, you know, Andrew, everything's going to change as soon as we get a donkey. They say, you know, it really starts at the local level. But what's more local than the emojis that you use? And if we can just get a donkey emoji, just the profile of the Democratic Party is going to really, really increase. You actually sent me this story from Politico about a couple of folks, Rima Dodin and Charlie Anderson, who they both, I think, work for Biden in various capacities. But they've also been, it would appear, the people trying to push this this movement to get a donkey emoji approved because there is an elephant emoji and there is not a donkey. It was turned down the first time, which I found kind of fascinating, like considering how many seemingly superfluous emojis there are, like the fact that they wouldn't put a donkey in is strange to me, I guess.

And that's kind of where I don't know how I feel about this article a little bit. I don't know if you agree with my summation of it when I said it to you. It's like I kind of like this article. There's some dazzling details in it, but it's also the type of thing that just reminds me of like it just seems so Cairo radio to me. Like we can kind of talk about politics, but through the lens of emoji. And you're like, is it emoji? How do you feel about the fact that in the piece?

Well, they say the headline is Biden's emoji czars. Yeah. OK. So maybe you notice that one of the like asked if Doden or Anderson were available for an interview. The White House did not respond. And then in the piece, they use that emoji. That's like the kind of smiley face with the hands up like, I don't know.

Yeah. Which is this is an interesting question I have. Actually, let me take that back. This is a question that comes up in my mind a lot. But I don't know if I've ever put words to it. When we used to say emoji, we meant the kind of emoji that you just described, which was like kind of spelling out an emoji by using the various strokes. on the keyboard right like the various punctuation marks like you could make a frowny face by using a colon and an uh open ellipsis right um not ellipsis i'm sorry a parenthesis um and we called those emoji but now we think of emoji as the thing that this article is about right the little cartoon symbol that has to be approved by the unicode board or whatever it's called consortium uh which I didn't know Jennifer A. Lee is on now, but we'll get to that in a second. She's a part of the story, too. But are they both emoji? Is there a different? When you say emoji, could you be talking about a colon followed by a parentheses? Or could you be talking about a little face that is also frowning?

That's a really good question. I remember, I don't know if we called them emojis at the time, but I remember in the very early days of the Internet, like when it was like Netscape. i remember like printing out and it just took forever these photo not photos these pictures these renderings of like i don't know bart simpson or mickey mouse or whatever that were all made out of basically you know semicolons and things like that like it was all i would i was on these like i guess it was called a list sir was it a list server no uh no it was like a these were these groups right like a chat room like a chat room basically but it was all text-based uh-huh and it would be like alt dot tarantino dot whatever but the conversation was happening in live time

It was text-based, but the conversation's happening in live time right now.

I don't think, I mean, I think people were posting. I don't think you could chat yet. I don't think it, in this particular one that I, when I worked at the Visitor Information Center, I would sit there on all these, I think we called them news groups maybe? But I would sit there on like the Tarantino one or the, like whatever, you know, I was interested in at the time. And people would just post all these things. And then some of them, people would post these, like, very elaborate creations that were made out of the symbols on the keyboard. And I wonder, were those emojis as well? Did the term emoji even exist? I don't know.

Because I do think it comes from emote. So I don't think any art that you make with your keyboard is going to be an emoji. But if you're going to show, again, I think the earliest version of an emoji would be a smiley face, right? Colon, parentheses, or frowny. And that's kind of your emoting, which is how I think it got its name. So my guess is they're still called emoji. And before we get into the further in the story, which we keep putting off, you're making me feel really nostalgic. Can we just take a moment? Can I tell you about the very first time I was on the Internet? Yes. Like, do you remember the very first time you were on the Internet? Yes, I do. What was it at work in that work study?

It was at work. It was at the Visitor Information Center because that was the only place there was a really fast, really fast, in quotes, computer. And you'd throw it out the window now. There was a camera on Red Square at the University of Washington, and you could go on Netscape, and you could look at this camera, which took a full minute to load. And by the way, it wasn't live streaming. It was a photo that was updated. Like, every 10 minutes, the camera took another photo or something. Yeah, pretty fresh. And I was about, I don't know, 1,000 feet from Red Square. I could have looked out the window and seen Red Square, but there was something about being able to look at this photo of Red Square and know that it was only five minutes old that just blew my mind. Okay, what about the first time you were on the internet?

That ties into what we were talking about yesterday, too, this idea of just, like, you can look out the window and see Red Square, but you're fascinated by the screen, right? And we were talking about, like, potentially having, like, fake windows and airplanes and dormitories. They should build that dorm, Andrew, after all. No, I it's so funny because when I was working at KUOW, you know, years and years later, I'm an adult at this point. I've moved to Seattle. I'm working at KUOW. There was there was a terrible live stream of Red Square that was fed into the studio. I don't know if it was there when you were there. There were like two TVs in the on air studio. And one of them was always a live feed of a shitty camera that was up looking at Red Square. But it was always, like, he was so full of condensation and glare. And I think it was supposed to be the way for, like, the announcer, you know, the live radio announcer to be able to see what's going on outside. Anyway, I have, like, kind of two specific memories. I'm pretty sure they happened in this order, though. The first time I actually logged onto the Information Superhighway would have been the 90s. I'm already in college at this point, but I wasn't at college. I might be wrong because there might have been some interaction with email earlier than this. But forget about email. Just forget about email.

I'm talking about like going on and just like www.this and www.that. Let's www.explainit.

I'm saying the time that I sat down behind a computer and somebody said, this is on the World Wide Web and you can look up stuff. And I was interning at some sort of production company in Cleveland. This is where this is the origins of or the place of origin of the O. Andrew story. I worked there for maybe three or four months and then as an intern. And then I left and gave the worst goodbye speech ever where somebody I respect in the room just said.

Nobody but you remembers.

But it will live in your brain rent free for the rest of your life. Oh, Andrew. Anyway, but it was during that internship that whoever my supervisor was said, well, you know, I think we have some downtime here. You can just, you know, mess around the computer if you want to. And he sat me down at, I just remember, this little workstation that was in this kind of corner of this darkened studio. And he's like, you can just look up whatever. I'm like, I can just look up anything? He's like, yeah, just look up anything. And I was like, well. And I remember spending the afternoon looking up Sonic Youth lyrics. And, like, the idea of a Sonic Youth lyric and Bukowski poems, I believe, was the other one, which is weird because Bukowski poems are in books. I don't know why I needed to look up Bukowski poems. But that's where I was in my development at that point, right? But this idea that like.

You know, I lived in an era when, you know, like Sergeant Pepper came out with lyrics in the record in the 60s. So some albums would have lyrics and some wouldn't. But like the albums that didn't have lyrics, especially if they were muddled or, you know, screamed or whatever, you would have no idea what they were saying. And like I could just go on and I was scrolling through pages that now is just so funny to think about. Right. It was probably just like a red background with like almost unreadable black serif type on it, you know, and I'm just like scrolling. I'm like that's what Kim Gordon is saying Of course it was there all along I'm like my mind is being blown You're like Nick Cage in National Treasure And then so I remember that afternoon And just being like this internet thing is This thing is cool And then I remember as time goes on You know I'm still in college at this point So I go back to the Not the dorms but I live just off of campus And my friend Scott Woodling Had the internet down in his little apartment downstairs in fact i think i lived in a studio oh yeah he had he lived in a little studio apartment as well just one room in a bathroom and uh but he would go home for maybe a week or something i don't remember where he lived and he'd ask me to look after his plants i think and he'd give me the key and he'd say you can you know mess around on on the internet and i think the same thing i could maybe search for things but also the thing that was fascinating about that was the chat rooms luke And I would stay up until all hours just sitting like in his darkened room, just just basking in the in the in the ill glow of the computer as I'm just going. I'm just there's a chat room for everything. And you could just go in and chat with people in real time. And it didn't even matter when it was not like it was not like flirty or anything. I wasn't delving into that realm. I mean, I wouldn't even know where to begin, but it was titillating in a way of just like knowing that these are real people on the other end of this computer and we're all just talking about things. And I remember also getting really kicked out very quickly. I should say I got kicked out of a chat room when I went into parent chat at one point. I think I was starting to feel a little bit like I'd already like kind of, you know, maybe this is the third or fourth time I'm house sitting for him. And so maybe some of the thrill has worn off. and so I go into something called, this is not right by the way, I go into something called parent chat and I write I like kids but I don't think I could eat a whole one and it was like I didn't even feel like, I just liked that joke

This is your version of a prank call

I had never been kicked out of anything so quickly in my life I almost felt like they had a bot, I'm like how did they kick me how did they even find the button to kick me out so quickly after I posted my favorite joke

Parent groups just don't understand

Show title? Yeah, I'm going to write that down I'm sorry, I've gotten us very far off this Politico piece But I was just feeling very nostalgic Thinking about early internet

That's amazing I love that you got kicked out of a You went into that group to try to make mischief And it worked Just one last quick thing on it My guess is that this is going to happen This donkey emoji Because as you mentioned And Jennifer A. Lee, the noted writer from the New York Times formerly, and then now just a filmmaker and a person who was in a TV piece I did not that long ago about the oldest continuously operated Chinese restaurant in America, which was in Montana. Jennifer A. Lee is working with these two people To try to get the emoji She made a movie about emojis And she's now kind of She's co-authoring this appeal Or whatever you want to call this Attempt by them to get the donkey emoji She's also on the Unicode Consortium board So, you know, the call is coming from inside the house on this And my guess is that it's only a matter of time Before this gets approved

Yeah, I guess so And it's interesting that it's these these people who are pushing it through. I mean, it's when they when they wrote their argument for why this should be approved. I think they tried to back off the political nature of it. And I'm guessing and I don't know if the article got into this. I read this a week or so ago. I don't know if the first one got rejected because of that. Like you could see that the elephant was probably just accepted because they wanted an elephant. and maybe they didn't feel like you know they necessarily needed a donkey um because maybe there was already a mule you know what i mean like as far as just like the people who are making these decisions for the for the emoji um but i guess they really went hard in this application just talking about it's one of our most important animals in the history of mankind they have quite literally borne us across the world donkeys deserve an emoji of their own in addition to Being a political symbol for the Democratic Party Just skipping past that The donkey has a long and storied history From classical literature to recent Pop culture It's very high

Winnie the Pooh, A Midsummer Night's Dream So yeah I think

Clint Eastwood's 2018 movie, The Mule, which isn't that about a drug mule? Yes.

Is that a good sales pitch? I think it is. The only thing I remember about The Mule is there was a bit on SNL with Pete Davidson and John Mullaney. John Mullaney and Pete Davidson talking about how Clint Eastwood has a threesome in The Mule, I believe. He has two. That's the whole thing. He has two. I hate him so much. this octogenarian is making his own movie so he can write himself into threesome scenes. Octogenarian?

I mean, does the octogenarian cover everything above 80?

Oh, no, I thought he was in his 80s. I didn't know. Oh, maybe he is. I don't know. I'm looking it up now.

I thought he was like 90-something. What do you call a...

What do you call a nine-year-old? SEPTA is 70s, right? So I don't know what you call something in the 90s.

No one's ever lived that long.

My grandma's 99. My grandma is going to be 100 years old in the spring.

god bless and you know that really that well that bodes a long life for you you know if that's runs if that runs in your family i mean maybe yeah we will see about that but i'm wondering like everybody

in my family died at like 40 will she i'm a survivor hey look at you congratulations uh yeah

will she be on tv i'm wondering oh is it has al roker taken up that mantle i was a will the Willard Scott kind of Smuckers shout out to people turning 100 I hope someone's still doing that I feel

Like that was just a constant presence In my in my Household growing up but now but you Know it's so far off my radar I don't know Who's doing what anymore it reminds me Somebody sent me this is not going To be satisfying for anybody either but Somebody sent me just like A five minute clip of Something on YouTube that was just like TV From my youth something I would have totally forgotten about this guy um john uh sorry i'm this i'm ruining the show i'm ruining the show sorry no you're not uh landon john landon i want to say his name was he was a radio host but he also hosted the friday night at the movies on wuab tv and like as somebody sent me six minutes maybe i should just play it for you it's him luke it's this old style actually can i send you a link Because I want you to see the imagery that goes along with the audio that we're going to play for the audience here, because it just harkens back to a very different era of local TV. So you have this fella and he's, you know, introducing the Friday night movie, but he's also like literally taking phone calls on the set. It's not John Lamb. And it's driving me crazy what his name is, but it doesn't really matter.

But it's not the two guys that turned out to have kind of some some takes that don't hold up.

Oh, you're thinking of Big Chuck and Little John, and they would do these really, really low-budget sketches, but a lot of them were, like, kind of, like, making—because it's Cleveland, and there's a lot of, like, kind of Eastern European stuff. There's a lot of Polish jokes, only they don't call them Polish jokes. They call them a certain— A person of certain ethnic extraction or something. Exactly, and, yeah, I mean, it was the 80s, and— Okay, I've got this dialed up. Okay. Oh, my gosh. So go ahead and hit play on this. This guy. This guy is actually taking – so he's a radio host from the oldies station, but he's also just like at the time in the 80s, he's kind of just a Cleveland personality. So he'll be on this local TV station as well.

Looks like he's giving away some cold cash.

Yes, exactly. Can you pull up the audio on this?

Oh, you want me to do that too?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I want people to hear this, but I wanted you to see it because he takes a call at one point. You might have to scrub past the commercials, but he's actually on the phone.

Well, here we go again. we're gonna get back to our movie what i wasn't trying to trap you you walked by you remember

the crew i spoke to you i'm yelling at the crew here which i kind of like actually i'm assuming that uh that this audio is this bad because it's youtube and not my system yes i think i'm trying

to be pleasant okay it's very difficult to do that with a crew anymore these people are really tough to deal with anymore you know what i really believe i really believe something has happened to the old crew that used to be so much fun and i think giant pods have replaced the old crew members and are hatching the new crew members i think there's something inherently evil in the people

that are here now i like how hard he's going on this crew i think what's happening is my guess is they are showing the movie some kind of like invasion of the body snatch exactly are there pods in that so i'm guessing they're showing invasion of the body snatchers and he's trying to make some kind of connection yeah here's what I'm going to ask you to do go to the part scrub ahead until you see him actually get on a telephone he takes a phone call I'm wondering if the audio is worse on your end I could play it on this end and we can give it a shot and then you can just like watch along but if you scroll to the back half of this you're going to skip a commercial break which is also just wonderful took me back and I'm going to hit play over here Thank you.

Now it's about 517 in the files when he's on the phone. Yes.

And now he's going to somebody who's going to call in or I think he's going to place a call to somebody who had applied to play this game. For more information, call Hamrick Truck Driving School. 1-800- That's a live read, by the way, that they put up a slate for Hamrick Truck Driving School.

When are we going to finally get the Hamrick Truck Driving account on this show?

He begins this spot, by the way, saying, oh, shoot, I'm supposed to read this. and then he reads the live spot. I love it. It's really great. 0098.

Hello there. He's on the phone. Who are you?

Norm Schlossky.

Norm Schlossky?

From Parma Heights.

Norm Schlossky from Parma Heights. What a coincidence. That's who I called.

Yeah, I see you driving down the street often in your red convertible, John, but not lately. I wonder why.

My red convertible?

Yeah, I think you have a red convertible, don't you?

Well, a little sports car. Sports car, yeah. I just drive it in the summertime. I don't take it out in the winter. It's afraid of salt. I could believe it. It's a frightening little, it's wimpy. huh it's a little porsche uh-huh yeah i just take it out once in a while it's only got five miles

on it oh so while he's doing this he's spinning a wheel that has a whole bunch of like famous people's faces on it yeah isn't it like patrick stewart on there it lands on the sir patrick stewart and you notice the face that's next to sir patrick stewart is him it's our host

who is that it looks like star trek it is star trek so you you live in the route that i drive

down huh so if you can't follow this this guy must have written into wuab tv he says i want to play the one thousand dollar cold hard cash game or whatever uh now he so then the host calls out to him now there's uh four letters or actually maybe six letters hanging on the wall wuab tv and this guy is allowed to choose one of the letters and then the host is going to pull that letter down and it's going to be an envelope and he's going to pull something out of the envelope that this

caller can win. How about that? Okay, well now, take a letter. We'll try W. W. Good letter, Norm.

Let's see how you do here. I'm living in this right now. It's the heavy-duty puncture seal. Oh, that sounds real good. Keep that at your house in case I come by and happen to get a flat and then I'll just run in and borrow it. Okay. Now I'm going to show you a film clip. We have 320-43 in our jackpot. Okay. Take a look and see if you can name this movie.

Now, they're going to show five seconds of just a silent scene of a movie. It's in a chapel somewhere, maybe a giant library somewhere. I don't recognize it. I was texting with my friend last night about what movie it could possibly be. Now, this guy's going to have to guess.

Yes, what is it? I had a couple or three written downer. I'm going to try all the president's men.

All the president's men? No, I'm afraid not. But we'll put five more dollars into our jackpot. Some of the president's men.

And then when he gets it wrong and big red letters go across the stream, that just say, sorry. I don't know if this worked for the listeners at all, but man.

Oh my God, I loved it. Also, I have to say.

He's walking around the set with an actual telephone, a corded telephone, just talking to this guy.

And I have to say that the host is pretty natural. Like, you know, he has a certain Pat Sajak vibe, which I've always really admired Pat Sajak's quick wit on Wheel of Fortune. Like, I feel like he's very good in the moment. I think this guy's actually pretty decent.

Lanigan. I had to look it up. I was dancing around it. I don't know if I said this before. I think I said everything but Lanigan. His name is John Lanigan. He was quite, I believe he's still alive. He's quite the Cleveland personality in the 1980s. He, Lanigan and Webster were the morning show on WMJI, which was the oldie station. And I think it was like, it was basically like Lanigan and Webster in the Buzzard Morning Zoo were probably the top rated morning shows in Cleveland in the 80s. uh you were such a media consumer as a kid well it was just on you know what i mean like the sad thing is it's like i'm trying i'm fumbling around trying to come up with john lanagan's name i think most people who like i was who you know grew up in cleveland and that i'm friends with would be able to you know probably cut it up a lot better than me with all the references and whatnot it just doesn't stay in my head as well but when somebody sent me the six minute clip just saying I'm assuming this was sent to me without comment, by the way, from my friend Steve Udich, who sometimes listens to TBTL. So I don't I think he just sent it to me just under the under the banner of I think you'll dig this, which I do.

I feel sorry. I was adjusting a photograph while you were talking. Oh, I was staring off into the middle distance and realizing that the poster of you and me in the boat is is not level. So I had wandered over to level it out while we were talking. Keep an eye on that.

I'll bet you when I take the show off the rails and I stumble around with things, that poster might start to tilt. That might be like a haunted poster in some ways. Just keep an eye on that theory.

Yeah, it's a lagging indicator of how the show's going. It's a sagging indicator. It's a sagging indicator. That's also a decent show title. That is. I'll write it down.

All right, we'll get to Fluffernutters tomorrow because we're kind of getting a little bit late on time here. But it is a good story that I want to tell you about.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man, it's not from a female.

All right. Whoa. All right. Calm down, Burbs. You've got a couple of V-mails that I know you're itching to share with us.

You know who I bet you knows John Lanigan personally? Bean Baxter. I see that they're both National Radio Hall of Famers here. So I'm going to have to ask him about that.

That guy knows everyone in the radio business or knows of them. He's a real student of the game.

I wonder if he knows Webster or just Lanigan. Anyway, Emmanuel Lewis. Oh, oh, oh, the other guy in the Webster. Gotcha. Not the George Mam guy. No. Although I did see it was just the anniversary of the episode of Webster where the family's house burns down. Do you remember that Webster switched houses? I don't remember that. Because one of the sets, I think the first half of the series, Webster lived in that big mansion-y house with all the secret passageways. And then I think later on, I think the house burns down, and I think it's Webster's fault. I don't know if I can say that. Allegedly Webster's fault. I was taping that. No lawsuits. And then they moved to, I think, a more modern place. And anyway, it was just the anniversary of that episode.

There's this, I don't know if it's a meme going around, but there's this thing that I see a lot on Twitter now, which is the person who was starring on Saturday Night Live that week introducing the musical guest.

Oh, well, it started with them introducing The Weeknd, right?

Yeah, it started with Daniel Craig saying, ladies and gentlemen, The Weeknd. And then people just started digging around in the SNL archives and just finding a random person introducing a sort of a random singer. And I think it's that George, Alex Karras, I think is his name, former football player. There was a period of time where most sitcoms were starring former football players in this country.

When you drop, kick your jacket.

Dick Buttkiss had one. Alex Karras had one.

oh wait and also I was making a yeah Mr. Belvedere I think that was Bob Euchre yeah he's not I'm sorry yeah he's

not a former but he's a former baseball player so you could actually expand it former athletes were starring in every sitcom in America for a period of time but it's Alex Karras I think introducing Tina Turner maybe but it kind of scratches that same itch that you're talking about with just like vintage television like the fact that they had Alex Karras hosting SNL and then the fact that again i could be wrong but i think it was tina turner was the music and there's just something about the the almost like the um the video quality that it's just very nostalgic and that there was

an era where because i mean obviously tina turner's name will be forever remembered by our society right like she has you know she's one of she's of that star power whereas webster's dad it's just like it's so funny that those two were sharing a spotlight for a moment and like i already You just said it. Karis is his name. What's his first name? Alex. Alex Karis. Yeah, like it's just like, who knows who Alex Karis is? Maybe that's just me. All right. You know who knows who Alex Karis is? Is listener Steve because he is way into sports. In fact, we were talking about the Arm Barn the other day as a possible replacement name for the bullpen.

Which I think, was it Larry Stone starting to use it?

Oh, yeah. I think it was Larry Stone who used that. Here is Steve with some other options.

Hey, guys, this is Steve from, well, it doesn't matter where I'm from. Anyway, I thought it would be alternative names for the bullpen. I like baseball. Though I thought the bullpen wasn't necessarily the place they went to get slaughtered, I thought it was the place in the rodeo. And I guess either way, it's not a pleasant place for a bull to be, I imagine. A few names that I came up with. Well, since most relievers throw gas, I thought you could start calling it the gas station. Oh, my God. If that takes off, that could be bad, actually, because sometimes relievers throw gas on a fire, and that's not a good thing.

No, I like the gas station a lot. That might be. I love it, too. Yeah, like coming out hot. Might be my favorite, but there's some more going to the gas station. Yeah.

If you want your picture to do well. They're also known on the opposite end, they're also known as firemen, so you could call it the firehouse or the fire station. They're also known as stoppers, so one of my personal favorites is, if you're going to change the name, is call us the stop exchange. And finally, this probably makes the most sense. Weapons, when they are stored, and...

Relievers are often known as weapons. They're stored in an armory, and with the word arm in there, I think maybe armory could be the best bet if it's ever put to a vote. That's probably the one I'd give it. So thanks guys to you.

I like the gas station, I think. Those are very solid.

I think the gas station has the best ring to it. Yeah, I agree. I love that. Can we start calling the Mariner's bullpen the gas station next year?

Yes, let's try to remember that. But let's just do it casually without explanation when we're talking to our friends and see if anybody calls us out.

There's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of nicknaming around the bullpen and around relief pitchers that, you know, their characters often. You had Mitch Williams, the wild thing, who is a reliever for Philly. And then he just got I think it might have even been the Braves that just torched him in a World Series. I bet you I have that wrong. He was probably a pitcher for the Braves who got torched by the Phillies. I have been so off on my sports facts lately And there's one listener I want to say his name is Steven maybe On Twitter who just very nicely and casually Just every day when the no point Gets posted he goes It's not that guy it's this guy That wasn't it wasn't that one it was this I mean he's not being a jerk about it but I'm just like I'm very not confident in my sports Facts but then you also have the Charlie Sheen character From Major League I really wanted that hairdo

He was a starting picture though right Not that it really matters, but he wasn't in the bullpen, was he? Was he a bullpen pitcher? Oh, Charlie Sheen?

Yeah, very much so. That was the whole thing.

Oh, he's a bullpen pitcher. I didn't remember that.

Yeah, and he'd come into Wild Thing. Oh, okay. Well, now you've got me wondering. I seem to remember it being that he was a reliever. He was like a nasty stopper. He was coming right out of the gas station. I see. But I could be misremembering. That's another Bob Uecker project, by the way. Bob Uecker is the announcer. Oh, right. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a bit outside.

Yep, yep. I was looking for an answer to that question I don't know if he's a starter But I'll trust you on that I mean that movie Is a big part of your upbringing

It was a big deal Peter and I would Watch it Like you know Probably every other week I don't know if it holds up But it has a very It's very near and dear to me

I was wondering you said that the person online Who sometimes pings you It was named Steve or Steven, and this voicemail did come from a Steve. It's a common name, but I wonder. Could it be the same? That would be something. The call is coming from inside the Steven. Let me play one more voicemail for you here. This one is not related to bullpens, arm barns, gas stations, or firehouses. Firehouses. This is actually regarding your conversation yesterday about your dryer situation yesterday. A sensor was saying that your lint trap was full when really it wasn't. You tried to restart the dryer by unplugging it and plugging it back in. It was very scary. You almost killed yourself yesterday. I think your story really sunk in more as the day went on. I was thinking about it. And by the way, one thing that a bunch of listeners kind of commented on somewhere, I don't know if I was seeing it on Slack or what, But, like, a good workaround in the future would be just find the circuit breaker in your apartment and just you can restart your electronics just by flipping that switch and flipping it back. You don't have to mess around with that. Anyway, that's for the future. I'm glad you're alive. But we did start talking about the importance of emptying your dryer lint traps because it could be a fire hazard if you let it build up too much. And Harrison has a story about that.

Hi, Luke and Andrew. This is Harrison in Virginia. I am not calling to announce the birth of my son, Phineas Daniel. Wonderful that he is.

A little sneaky Blur's Day action there. All right. All right.

All right. I'm sitting in a parking lot about to pick up some delicious Thai food for my wife. I was listening to your show to give me strength through early infanthood, and you started talking about dryers. When I was in college, after my sophomore year, I moved into my own house with my dear buds and hermanos, and it was a complete dive. But I remember going home, Thanksgiving dinner, the year that I moved in, and telling my parents, boy, it's the damnedest thing. There's no link trap on this dryer. And my dad drops his fork on the plate, and he says, yes, there is. there absolutely is a lint trap and you have to go find it I had to leave quickly and address that and boy howdy it was in the back of the dryer canister, you know the cylinder or whatever, there was a perforated opening and when you pulled on that screen this like cartridge came out That was packed with a solid block of lint. I mean, it probably weighed two pounds, and it could hold up a couch. It was unbelievable. And was it the most satisfying experience I've ever had cleaning it? Yes. I've been chasing that dragon my whole life.

Power up?

I feel like you could use that for insulation. That's an alternative building material. There's a lot of uses for that brick of lint.

It's got a pink panther on it for some reason.

I was always afraid to touch that stuff because I had been told that it had glass in it or something

growing up we were raised to be so afraid of insulation I think probably by the time we were kids if it was new insulation it was probably fine but I'm sure like

it's all like sort of cotton now and stuff but that pink pink panther stuff that Owens Corning stuff was like I thought if you touch that you pretty much die

Exactly, that's exactly right I'd forgotten about that It was so implanted in our brains Like do not touch that stuff And do not make a long distance phone call From a hotel room You will break the entire family You won't be able to go to college

Those are two things I still stand by All these years later I want to mention, just to save Listener Steven and others the time I figured out Mitch Williams got torched By the Toronto Blue Jays I believe he had a sort of epic meltdown He was a very, very effective closer for the Phillies, and the Phillies were having a great season. And then I think there was a walk-off home run, possibly in the World Series, possibly given up to Joe Carter. That was kind of the undoing of Mitch Williams.

Okay. Well, I couldn't have fact-checked you on that. Just why? All right. What do we go out with here, my bud? I was just trying to think if there's any appliance-related songs. But if there are, I probably don't like them. uh let's face it right like the dryer song that doesn't sound like something i would like do you wanna i mean it's hard with sonic youth okay sure i'll pick in honor of your first internet query yeah sure what is a very um what is what would my friend goo maybe yeah i think i do a little i think i do a little bit better than that let me um i don't actually know

much sonic youth it was not for me yeah i know it's funny well that's not true i knew like their big hits in as much as Sonic Youth had big hits but you know

weirdly I was inspired I don't have to tell the whole story because it's not interesting but I was actually listening to a Sonic Youth cassette tape this weekend because I was over somebody's house and they were showing me their Sonic Youth records and it reminded me I was like oh man and so I didn't have it on CD I'm like I guess I gotta listen to this I guess I could have listened to it I don't know why I didn't listen on Spotify I was probably just feeling

nostalgic Sonic Youth has to be listened to on CD or cassette

legally. Yeah, or legally. Or vinyl. Anyway, alright, here we go. I'm going to go out with this song Sugarcane, which I think will kick into something listenable here. Alright, thanks for hanging out

with us today, everybody. We'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for y'all, so we'll see you then. Until then, have a great Wednesday. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves. Police, do your job. Please. And to our law enforcement folks listening. And yeah, we'll see you tomorrow. Until then, please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Today They're burning out their lives And burning in their eyes I love your sugar cane Coming from the rain They kiss me like a frog They turn me into flame I love you all the time I need you here tonight I can stay all night If that is shining And I know There's something down there Sugar soul Back to the cross A twisted lane There's something down there Sugar cane

aloha means hello and goodbye goodbye power out