Muse

Baby, have you ever wondered, wondered, whatever became of me? I'm living on imaginary radio. I'm living on that T-D-T-L.

T-B-T-L.

This is the part where I'm supposed to do the whole intro thingy.

I just came here to hit dingers and have a good time. That's about it. This is a show for dogs, about dogs, starring one dog, and one dirty dog. Expect to feel several bone tremors and be perceived by all around you to be a disgrace.

The comedy factor speaks for itself. It's just painfully obvious. It's an unfulfilled prophecy. It just has to be played out.

Oh, this is fantastic. I've been waiting for this moment for months and it's finally here.

all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a thursday edition of tbtl

the show that just might be too beautiful to live this song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the

world my name is luke burbank i'm your host you paint your bald spot what bald spot coming to you from the hollywood studios in portland oregon where it is absolutely crummy out didn't know you like to get wet, though. It is. It was raining so loudly a moment ago. It was hitting the window here. I was worried it was going to actually make its way onto the recording of the show, but it has abated just a little bit. But, yeah, the bad news is it's raining all the time in the Northwest. The good news is it's getting dark at 4.30, so you've got to take the W where you can get it. Here we are at episode 3,552 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

Apparently, Christopher Walken was filming a show for the BBC where his character paints over a real, actual Banksy. I'm as real as the streets. And the show is being slightly tight-lipped about how or why this happened, what the exact circumstances were.

Oh, my God, that's so crazy. Why?

To me, it seems like it's probably an attempt to get publicity, and so we are going to play right into their hands by talking about it a little bit later on the show. Oh, and another art-related story that Mischief Collective has taken a real Andy Warhol and then recreated it a bunch of times, and you can buy one of these, I guess, pieces of art, and you might get a real Andy Warhol or you might get a fake Andy Warhol, but it's actually pretty affordable, and lots of people are snapping these up. We will talk about what makes art, art. This is really the place people turn for important art criticism and art theory, is TBTL. So we'll get into that. Oh, and I saw a statistic. I saw a data point about how much money Apple makes per second.

People just came out here and was getting hella money.

And it's a lot. We'll talk about that, too. coming up plus it's a Thursday aka Blur's Day we will honor the listeners who were born around this time at some point we'll do that plus we'll talk to this guy the longest running co-bro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships he's asked to weigh in on podcasting and co-broing a lot because of the success of this show and this is how he typically describes the feeling of being the co-bro On this program

He is Andrew Walsh

And he's joining me right now From the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington Good morning my friend

Good morning Luke Speaking of dizzy I have some dizzying numbers for you here Okay Do you remember Are the TVTL downloads in? Yes They are drizzy That's what Drake calls himself right I was trying to think of a joke there And I couldn't think of one so I just said drizzy That's what I do in life When I'm thinking of something and it doesn't come, I just say either Drake or Drizzy. We were talking, I don't know, sometime last week about whether or not we've recorded 10,000 hours of TBTL. The idea being that if you do anything for 10,000 hours, you get good at it. And the reason why TBTL is sometimes slightly rough around the edges is because we haven't hit that 10,000 hour mark yet. Yeah, we haven't mastered it yet. But that raises the question. I believe you asked the question, well, how many hours have we done? Is there any way to find out? And the answer to that question is yes, if you're a listener, Ben. I don't know how. I don't know what kind of computer magic. All I know is Ben sent me a spreadsheet.

with every single episode of tbtl that's available on the apm website so i do think there are some hour threes of the radio show missing but this gets us very close the spreadsheet has the exact time of every single episode that's posted on the website i don't know how he like scraped that information and put i'm not smart enough for this but he says the bottom line is now i got this email a week ago. My apologies for sitting on this email for so long. So as of last Thursday, we had done I should say you have done because I wasn't part of all these hours 4,364 hours Wow. It's just too boring and long 4,364.339 hours I should say My apologies for rounding down That was unfair to us Since then, what do you think? How many hours have we done oh that would include no point conversions i assume and that would include mcmillan men some mcmillan men the ones that appear probably in the original feed remember we ended up breaking it out for again we're still working some uh kinks out of this whole tbtl thing but probably the um the uh what did we call the game of thrones show i already forgot what we called song of ice and spoilers song of ice and spoilers fantastic name to the listener who came up with that so all of that would add up to about 400 uh or i'm sorry 4364 hours so we're

almost halfway there although it's halfway there i mean god because you know i'm like well 5 000 is the halfway point we've done 4 000 and change but think about it a thousand hours yeah that's that's what that's i mean the question is in an in an average year how many hours would we do because there would be, well, you know. Ben? 52. Ben, oh, Ben. Can we just keep Ben on speed dial? How many work days? Well, it's actually, you know what? It's not even work days because we also do the show on the holidays.

Exactly.

So it's basically 52 times five, right?

Yep, that's because, yeah, we always do.

You know that I've taken to the way that it's 260. So let's just say it's a minimum of 260 hours a year of just tbtl itself not not talking no point and let's say we you know we tend to go maybe closer to an hour 20 an hour and a half so throw an extra let's say 100 hours on there so 360 hours or so in a year so just to get to 5 000 we've got to we've got to do like two three more years yeah just to get to the halfway point of this project do you want to just to get to halfway

to being good at this should we just quit halfway to being good at this job did i just talk us out of doing tv is this our last tvtl because somehow that just seems like a lot um i don't know why i'm being negative though i enjoy doing it there's i mean if i if i had to do anything for that long i would prefer it to be this you know yeah better than like producing a you know a talk show you know what i mean like the type of stuff i used to do not that i wasn't lucky to have those jobs too

But those those those really took it out of the best known for his depictions of the tall ships capturing their grace and power.

I'd rather be doing this than like, you know, trying to book a guest with like 10 minutes left before we go live. But we need somebody to comment on the, you know, whatever the mayor just said.

I also do think that we are getting better at doing this, believe it or not. Like we make fun of ourselves a lot, but I've checked in on the show of late. First of all, we have ads running before the show that was news to me for other presumably more successful podcasts. Well, that's good.

Because that would mean that our – well, wouldn't that mean that our show would be promoted on other podcasts then? You'd figure. I mean, it must be because suddenly there are promos for other shows on ours. You would think –

We put the pro in quid pro quo.

We put the no in prid quo no. Okay, now that might be a show title. Prid quo who? Anyway, prid quo, whoa, but no, we have, I've been listening to the show on occasion.

I'll just kind of really what it is. Well, one of two things. One, every once in a while, I will be into my cups a little bit. And for some reason, in that state of mind, my brain will say, how was the show today? You need a little cushion. I just, I don't know why that sometimes, sometimes a reaction I have. And then the other thing is when I'm on the road, sometimes I'm curious about how it actually sounded me in the room, like, you know, of the hotel room or something. So I'll just kind of like sort of, as you say, needle drop, I'll sort of spot check the show just to go like, oh, how did you know, was because I've started doing this thing now, Andrew, I don't think it's probably noticeable to you or the listeners. but if I'm

in a room that seems echoey i'll go and get a towel the hotel towel and i'll put it down on the desk where i'm setting up my audio equipment so there's just one more kind of thing that's absorbing a little bit of echo just to try to make it you know sound a little more professional so anyway my point is i've listened to the show a couple times in the last couple of months and i think we are i think we're not bad at this even though we like to criticize ourselves and talk about how boring the show is i mean there are thousands of people who listen to this thing every day and also sometimes when i hear other podcasts i'm reminded now there's there are the podcasts that are like incredibly well produced and have you know a staff of of radio professionals and those shows can be really good but as far as shows where people are just talking and keeping the needle moving i actually think we do an okay job of that good um you know what i mean like for for all of the for all of the um kind of you know like i said being critical of the show and making Fun of us and talking about how the show Is terrible I think way in the back Of my mind I actually do think the show is okay

That is good I know that I have Not done it that in my

Thrive report in the back of My mind I have to admit I think the show is

Okay could that be our could that be the poll Quote for the Promos for TBTL that I'm sure we'll start running Pretty soon that are going to be running on all the other podcasts On vice yeah exactly This is kind of a vice Podcast in its own way as in we talk about our Vices a lot yeah

exactly um we also talk about printers a lot on the show can we get sponsored by the brother corporation because i am mad at the printer here at the hollywood studios andrew and it's not a brother it is a brother oh it is okay um but i'm frustrated because it just decided so you know i guess i was in california yesterday but the day before i was here and i printed out my little show sheet as i do i'm looking at it right now the show sheet from tuesday november the 9th and it is printed beautifully andrew it is the the the black of the toner is is it's it's very inky it's very black it's it's beautiful it stands out in contrast to the white of the paper that's printed on andrew and today the printer tells me it's so out of toner that it won't even try to print

which really frustrates give me it's like the lint it's the lint trap problem it's like exactly

it's like you know what why don't you try and if it's a little faded i'll deal with it okay i'll

i'm the it's such a racket man it is i'm the one who prints okay you don't tell me when there's not

enough toner to try this you let me decide when it gets too faint when it's eventually printing on there like a civil war ghost wrote me a letter that's when i'll go down to office depot and get a new thing of toner but in the meantime i'm looking at what it printed two days ago and it's flawless you can't tell me it went from this amount of toner to we have no toner yes i don't know if

you heard in the background by the way luke i just printed something here the reason i did it is last time i have a brother printer too i'm not bragging i just fell into my life um but uh last time you were here we couldn't get the printer to work remember like you were you were on the network

i could tell it was bothering you too just yeah on like sort of on principle that's where my brain

is really broken like even if i don't need like i didn't need the printer that day at all you did you wanted to print on the show sheet for some reason my printer wasn't talking to the network we couldn't figure it out you're like no problem give me a pen i'll write out a show sheet it's simple and I'm like no no you're not gonna write out a show sheet the printer isn't working why isn't the printer working and then eventually I did have to give up on it but like you didn't care anymore and I didn't have anything I needed to print but when somebody when something that should work doesn't work it's really hard for me to shake it it's almost an unhealthy obsession I

think I have with technology well we talk you and I talk about this sort of off the air but there's something funky going on with my headphones here um where i can hear you just fine but it's only in one ear oh god and that bothers you it bothers you i don't know if i've ever told you this before

but you'll tell me like oh you know how sometimes you have to like whether it's the headphones or another plug on the board you're like you know i'm doing that thing where it's like half plugged in and then just sort of cheating the system i half plug a plug into the a port and then it sort of works like i yeah i know that move i haven't done it since i was 11 like i refuse to do that that's not a fix that is not a fix that drive just knowing that you might have a plug on your board right now that is half plugged in drives me crazy i just wiggle it just if i have a problem

hearing you i wiggle it just a little bit and then i'm fine i need to go wiggle that printer Anyway, so I'm mad at that. And I also, yesterday, Andrew, after we recorded the show, after we put in hour number 4,500... in 73 or whatever it was i um i went over to the the headquarters for hidden valley ranch at the clorox corporation where you drive down a street called clorox way which is which is really um well just tells you where you are and i had a very nice conversation with uh with the kind of head of r&d for hidden valley ranch dressing and i found out some dazzling deets including the fact that ranch dressing outperforms there's more ranch dressing sold in america than ketchup i thought you're gonna say bleach there's a little bit of bleach in every

bottle of hidden valley that's how they're moving the bleach it goes all the way to the top follow

the bleach yep that's what you got to do study it out that's all you do is study it out ranch dressing sold than ketchup there's more ranch dressing sold in america than ketchup and and And here's what's interesting about it, actually, to me, is it's it's not that people are putting more ranch dressing on their salad. It's that people have expanded, greatly expanded the world or the things that they'll eat with ranch, if that makes any sense. So it's not that they were just like we're putting more more ranch on our on our salads. It's that we're eating ranch with everything as a society. I mean, you're not.

I mean, that may. No, I'm not. That makes sense, though. Like, you're not putting ketchup on a salad, right? But you are putting ranch on a salad.

And you're not putting ketchup on pizza.

No, but you could do that. Exactly. Meanwhile, people are dragging their French fries through ranch. Easy, Dr. Brule. They're dranching their French fries. But you know what I mean? Like, in some cases, it actually replaces ketchup, yet there are no instances that I can think of ketchup replacing ranch.

Exactly. Exactly. And so we've decided, I guess, that it's versatile enough that we're going to put it. And so they made this spread for me. I am, at some point, Andrew, not going to be able to describe myself as a vegetarian anymore if I keep having TV gigs where I have to eat meat. Oh, what happened this time? Well, they made a whole bunch of different things. They had some wings that were dusted in ranch seasoning. they had um they made something called a like a it was an alabama ranch roast it was just basically a pork roast that had been you know slow cooked in some kind of ranch you know powder or something uh so there were some meat products there that i did have a bite of um i dipped pizza in ranch um they they also make rant they make pizza flavored ranch that you can then dip pizza in which feels like okay we get it yeah this has gone a little bit even by my standards this may have gone a little bit too far but as i was in there just just you know eating like all kinds of things that were just slathered in ranch dressing all i could think of is how much you would have hated it like and how how i mean if you if we switch places and you had this job the tv job that i have and somebody said we're gonna do this story but it's gonna involve you having to

eat ranch do you think you could force yourself to do it no no no no and maybe really that's maybe one of many reasons why I was going to say that's the reason why that's not the reason why I don't have a job on TV there are multiple reasons why I don't have a job on TV but no that doesn't appeal to me and the work doesn't like the it's not like something that I would want to power through because it would be really important for me to have that gig you know like I was actually going to ask you I didn't want to put you on the spot when you were talking about the you know you're you're doing these gigs and you keep on eating meat I mean obviously there are a lot of vegetarians in the world who work in broadcasting right i'm sure there is somebody you know i'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if you said hey listen i'm i'm vegetarian so when we're doing these shoots like it's ranch you know you could be dipping all kinds of vegetables in it you could be eating a salad there are things you could do that would make this tv story interesting with ranch without you having to eat meat i think that you have said before maybe i should just let you answer this but i think you've said before that you just sort of don't want to be a pain in the keister and that's exactly your words um and you just kind of don't want to make waves and if you eat a couple of bites of meat then you'll do it and you don't hate meat you've just cut it out of your life kind of for moral reasons so um that's where you are and that's your decision to make but like i wouldn't i i wouldn't eat ranch for anything i'm trying to think is there anything i want in this world enough that i would eat ranch to get it and i just don't know that there is i'm doing the opposite of what your story is doing your story you know like you spent a long time yesterday with a pr person who just wants to get just wants to spread the gospel of ranch and so here i am doing the exact opposite there's nothing i want in life enough that i would eat

ranch to get it put that on the bottle i do i think this has come up a lot on the program but i i think it's interesting how i think you are i hope that you take this in the spirit Here we go.

in which it's intended but I think you're in a way a people pleaser in that you want people to feel good and so you are very helpful to people you're you're just like a you're a you're a pleasure to be around because you're very thoughtful about others I am a little bit more narcissistic a little more self-obsessed a little bit more just about my like focused on my experience and things but then I also kind of have like no boundary no personal boundaries like I'm doing this swimming story in a couple of weeks that sounds utterly terrifying i may be swimming andrew like to alcatraz which i pointed out to my friend anthony the producer of that piece i believe that swim is what killed the people who escaped from alcatraz but they were swimming the other way though they were swimming the hard way they were swimming against with traffic and i'll be swimming against exactly you're trying to get two alcatraz like i am so you know i'm gonna i'm gonna be swimming with this cold water swimming club down in san francisco and it's not you pointed out that it also is gonna involve me being shirtless on national television which i'm not super psyched about but i'm going to do it because i don't know how to me saying no me saying i won't eat that thing on camera or i won't get in that freezing cold water that may have sharks in it shirtless I for me saying no having those boundaries I it makes me feel like I'm letting people down it makes me think they're never going to ask me to do another tv story just you have pretty good boundaries actually for being somebody who is very thoughtful about others there are just things that I know are just kind of a you know a hard pass for you and I actually kind of admire that that you that you were able to because I think on some level it's sort of a confidence thing it's like I can say I'm not going to do this and I know it doesn't mean that the person won't like me or that I, you know, cause I, you're exactly right. I could just say to all of the producers I work with, Hey, I don't eat meat. So let's just get creative. If there's a story that involves me eating something, it just has to be something that isn't meat. I could do that and it would be fine. And I think they would still sign me up for stories, but I don't want to say that because

I don't want to seem like I'm being a pain. In fact, I have the perfect comp right here. This just happened to me today. In fact, it's exactly like you and your TV gigs. People are trying to get me on their broadcasts all the time i got a message today from our friend molly over at brains on quote hi would you be willing to voice a fake commercial for belly button lint these are the kind of offers i'm getting at this stage in my life luke this is this is a true story by the way and i said sure but i will be tied up with tbtl until you know late this afternoon i can get you something uh this evening and and and molly said um nope we need it sooner than that And I said, sorry, that is not in my contract. I will not eat ranch, and I will not put off TBTL responsibilities, even if it meant putting me in the spotlight as Belly Button Lint, the titular character, Belly Button Lint.

Whereas I would say, Andrew, we've got to record Thursday's show at 6 a.m. because I've got to be free by 8. This is, things are going to start happening to me now. Now, once I lock down that Belly Button Lint account.

When I'm not famous, remember this moment, everybody. When I'm not famous.

No, but again, I think that actually, I mean, this is something I've talked about with therapists at times, is being okay with giving someone an answer that they don't necessarily want to hear and just allowing them to have their feelings about it. Because the other thing, the way that this really comes back to bite me in life is, you know, things like buying a boat and not telling the person I'm married to about it why because if I said to them hey I really want to buy this boat and then they were upset about it then I would have to deal with that so instead I just secretly buy it because I don't want to I don't want to disappoint them and then let them have their feelings that they're entitled to about being disappointed in me or frustrated with me and like being able to just say hey here's what's going on Here's what I'm thinking of doing or what I'm thinking of not doing Or eating or not eating And then the other person having their feelings And me knowing that that's not going to literally end my life That's a healthier way to be in the world I'm not that way I'm going to be swimming In freezing water Mainlining ranch dressing in a week

Mainlining

Eating a turkey leg Soaked in ranch dressing As I try to out swim a shark Because of my inability to say no

Could be worse It could be like that Washington Lottery commercial where the woman dives into a swimming pool full of ranch dressing.

You know Carrie tried out for that?

No, no. Did she have to jump into – I assume they didn't have like just for the auditions a swimming pool full of ranch.

I think our buddy – I think the manager of our fantasy baseball league wrote that ad.

I think you're right.

I was texting with him about it once. But you're right. That could be worse. But I'm sorry. I interrupted you.

Okay. So let's see here. I had a couple of thoughts. Oh, well. I don't know.

don't know if it's necessary for me to go down this road but I will the boat thing this gets us off topic the thing about the boat the example that you just gave the thing that that the reason I couldn't live my life that way and this is sometimes to a fault for me maybe in some professional things but like I don't like anything I don't like loose ends and I don't like anything hanging over my head that I feel like and I don't like to use this word as adults But anything that feels like I could get in trouble or this feeling of I'm in trouble, like I have lived. I don't think this has to do with like what we're talking about, about me standing my ground on certain things I will or will not do. But one thing that I'm pretty conscious of is I do not want to live my life as an adult now that I have complete free agency over myself in a way that will ever give me the feeling that I had for so much of my childhood, which was somebody is going to find out something. My parents are going to find out about the report card. You know, the report card is coming. It's like three weeks away, but I know that I haven't been doing my homework and I'm going to get a bad grade. Like, so for three weeks, I'm just going to have this pit in my stomach because I know that, you know, it's a collision course between me, the grades, and my parents. Collision course, Dano. Or I broke something and I kind of propped it up. And or I can't think of that specific example, but I remember one time fake sword fighting with a long yardstick as a as a child in in this little den that we had. And I was like kind of I was sort of fake sword fighting with our expensive Encyclopedia Britannica collection, not realizing that every time I swung the yardstick, it was popping a hole in the binding of one of these.

And that was that was, you know, a big investment in a family's life.

It really was like these things were expensive and they were treasured. And I remember just thinking and just living with that for a long time. I still don't know if my parents know. Don't anybody play this for them. But like just like those feelings. I don't need to give more examples. You know what I mean? Or you know that you're sitting on a lie or anything like that. Like that is a terrible feeling for me. Just living with something that I know eventually I'm going to have to reckon with in that way. It just is so awful that I don't live my I just don't live my life for my own mental health That way

See I regularly Promise myself that I'm going to de-sketchify My life for exactly Those reasons so I don't have to be worried About like you know Just like oh what did I say to that person And is that going to line up with what I said To this other person or just you know I mean I'm not going around compulsively lying But I just mean the stuff you're describing Where it's like you're just going to kind of live by a code and you're going to stick with it and then it just means you don't have to worry about getting hollered at or wondering if you you know if you told one person you weren't going to go to the thing for this reason but then you told someone else a different story and those stories don't line up or whatever i i'm regularly telling myself i got to get right with that stuff so that i don't have to be worried and then i regularly just take the easy road you know which is for me the easy road is like eh i'll just kind of like i'll just wing this one uh and then you know have

to deal with the consequences later on yeah yeah but anyway we got a little bit off topic for like as far as like me not eating ranch but i did have a question before we go to break about the swimming thing you're doing because i i was kind of i mean i was kind of teasing maybe kidding on the square a little bit when you were talking about it um on the show a couple of weeks ago when you said that you you're going to do this swimming story and i said i couldn't do it um because i'd have to take my shirt off but honestly i assume you do have to take your shirt off is this for sure like it would it be cheating if you wore a like a swimsuit or not a swimsuit I hope you're wearing a swimsuit but you know one of those cold water protector things that covers your whole body while you swim

I think that that is considered sort of um defeating the purpose kind of defeating the purpose like the people that do this are doing it so that their body you know is subjected to the coldness of the water I figured also and I don't want to get into I don't want to even get into the neighborhood of body shaming people or saying something that sounds callous but you know i remember being a kid and then there would sometimes be you know kids other kids that were like not comfortable taking their shirt off so they'd be swimming in their t-shirt yeah i'm that kid and i and i and i was i remember kind of in my mind thinking i think it might be more noticeable to swim in one's t-shirt no yeah then then to just be shirtless and so i again and that's not me saying that's not me weighing in on how anyone is living their life vis-a-vis having a shirt on or not. But I kind of feel like if I'm the only one in this like polar bear swimming club who has their shirt on, that will almost be more noticeable or a swim shirt or something.

I figured as much. I just wasn't sure if there is, I wanted to make sure that I was understanding it correctly, that these folks are swimming just like in.

you know just their skin is touching the water because i assumed that was the whole point and yes certainly if that's what they're doing that's what you want to be doing i just wanted to make sure that yeah we are talking about the same thing here that they're not wearing body

suits i think body suit is the word i was looking for before yeah apparently you also have to get your you have to be in the water in such a way that your neck is is mostly submerged the whole time because of something about how your body is regulating temperature if you're swimming but your like head and neck are out of the water you'll notice how cold you are or something there's like these weird all these weird tips and tricks for surviving this thing that you know kind of seems like you know i don't exactly know why someone would subject themselves to it on the regular but these people swear by it so i will be i'll be out there i guess so again to me it's like the idea of of this is what happened with the whole monster truck story too when i when i drove gravedigger and rolled it and ended up like kind of dislocating a rib i was so obsessed with the people from the monster jam university thinking i was one of the cooler tv people i was so terrified of doing this jump of which you see that you know i told the story back when it happened uh and have probably told it many times since but you see those things on tv with those monster trucks and it just they look like they're real bouncy and like it's almost like a big thing you know big air pillow that you're just kind of bouncing around on but it's really not when you're in it and also floor they have the engine is so powerful like flooring it and going off this jump was really scary to me because the jump just looked like it was just going straight up in the air and I've never driven a vehicle off of a jump but my fear of them judging me was more powerful than my fear of doing this thing and and you know I ended up rolling the truck and kind of hurting myself so I don't know are you already like thinking about trash talk

for Diana Nyad are you gonna be like you're not the only public radio personality who can swim

how you like me now you know we had her on live wire to talk about that book I think I have a newfound appreciation for it although she was let's be honest Andrew she was swimming between florida and cuba i mean that water is beautiful waters it's a bath water yeah it's just the jellyfishes that were stinging her at all times right just constantly i still think of those

photos of her like after because she she attempted it several times i think or at least a couple of times and and and successfully did it once i think i don't know her whole story but yeah but i remember those photos of just like her after these swims and just like her whole body is just

wrecked just wrecked from the yeah no that uh that does not sound uh fun either so anyway all right uh we should take a quick break and then come back and uh i'm going to tell you andrew how much money apple has made actually ben could you get at me we can figure out on the fly how much money apple has made since we started today's episode um let me make a note 3304 okay during the break I'm going to do the math and when we come back I'm going to tell you how much money Apple has made in the first 33 minutes and 4 seconds of TBTL if I have a calculator that goes that high coming up in just a moment time to thank the donors of the day these are the people making this episode possible It's unclear if they heard about us on the Vice podcast And came over and then just loved what they were hearing And stuck around But they like us, Andrew They really, really like us People like Patricia Anderson in Kirkland, Washington Is supporting the program

Kirkland, Kirkland brand

So interesting how that You know Sort of, you know, suburb of Seattle I guess you could say Has become A national fixation because Costco, of course, was started in the Northwest, maybe even in Kirkland and so they went with that as the name for all their Costco stuff and now people all over the country and maybe even the world are wearing Kirkland brand jeans and drinking Kirkland brand vodka

and they don't even know

that it's the home of Patricia Anderson a TBTL donor Emily Atkinson is in Brevard, North Carolina. Thank you Emily for supporting the program Ellen Paul is in Riverside, Illinois.

Now, that's Chicago adjacent, right? Or am I wrong about that?

You know, it sounds like it might be, but I don't have a map in front of me. In fact, when I saw Riverside, I was thinking California. Okay, yeah. But Ellen is out there in the Illinois version of Riverside and is supporting the program. Lisa Belong.

Longer is in Nina, Wisconsin. You think I said Lisa's last name correctly?

I was a little obsessed because it looks like there's a Frank Lloyd Wright house. Coonley house is in Riverside, so I got a little stuck in it. Riverside, Illinois. Riverside, Illinois, which is just outside of Chicago. Yeah, Nina, Wisconsin. N-E-E-N-A-H. Nina, Wisconsin. That's where Lisa is. House is there of note.

Jamal Abdi is in Arlington, Virginia, where I once lived, ever so briefly. Arlington, Virginia, a lovely place. I almost turned into that YouTube voice again. Jamal Abdi. Jamal Abdi, a good TBTL donor. Thanks, Jamal. Cheryl Gordon is in Reseda, California. Tom Petty Freeway running through the yard

That's right Thank you Cheryl

Thank you to all of our donors of the day For making a TBTL possible We quite literally would not be here without you So thanks, babies Hello and welcome to Top Story When we get to 10,000 hours, Andrew I'm not going to have the beginning of the Top Stories drop muted

That's one of the things we're working on

That's a 4,000-hour mistake. I'm not going to make that at 10,000 hours.

I'm a little obsessed with Nina, Wisconsin now.

I wonder what the backstory is on that name, by the way. Are they telling you? Is the internet telling you?

Well, I'm just on maps. Let's see here. Quick facts. I'm not going to read quick facts on the fly. I don't think it's going to get us anywhere. But they do have a – it looks like they have a glass museum there, which is cool, and also a famous lighthouse, the Nina Kimberly Point Lighthouse.

The spelling of that is interesting It almost looks like it's sort of You know kind of from the Middle East or something

There's also a pick and save grocery store Which is interesting because I grew up with pick and pay Which actually Pick and save seems more appealing right Pick and pay is like yeah you're going to pick it up And they're going to pay for it here you're going to pick it up And you're going to save it Yeah anyway I'm going to close this map now Because I'm destroying the flow of TVTL I believe you had some top stories to talk about, Luke.

Mostly I just want to tell you about how much Apple has made during the first 34 minutes or 33 minutes and 4 seconds of TBTL. So I worked that out to be 1,984 seconds. Okay. And I'm going to times that by the amount. Let's see here. I've got my calculator up. Oh, my gosh. one two three comma one two three comma is that possible i what is this number to you andrew two three zero one four four zero

two three zero one four four zero yeah that is two million that's two million three hundred and one thousand four hundred and ninety wow that's actually seems kind of low yeah step it up apple come on get it together tim apple sell a watch or something seriously pod so uh in the uh

the last 12 months apple netted 365 billion dollars which adds up to uh 11,600 dollars every second every second of the day apple is netting not grossing netting eleven thousand six hundred dollars every minute they're making six hundred and ninety six thousand dollars every hour they're making forty one million and they're making a billion dollars a day how much taxes are they paying probably none probably incorporated in um you know like some offshore island account The iPhone was the biggest driver of profits. 192 billion came from their iPhone sales. 68 billion came from services like them forcing me to constantly up my storage capacity or make hard decisions about old screenplays I've written and photographs and other BS that's in the cloud. That's my my way of organizing my stuff is just to continue to buy more storage to just have them go. we're not going to let you have access to this unless you agree to give us five more dollars a month and me eventually going fine that i want to get to something another way that you and i are

complete opposites i don't um have a lot of those cloud storage um uh what's what i'm looking for i don't i don't have a lot of those services but i do use dropbox and um i am i paying for dropbox

yet no nope i'm still on the free no you're not and in fact uh because one time i think i was trying to share a full with you, but it was going to cut into your it was going to count against your storage space, too.

Dropbox, that's where they get you. You know you're talking to them. That's how they get you, buddy. You know you're talking to a smart person. That's how they get you. It's all about control. If you share a folder with me, whether or not I open, I think once I accept it, it stays in, it's your folder, but it's now a shared folder that I have access to. It's going to cut into my bottom line as far as storage is concerned so yeah and it's such a screw because they're like oh you're out of storage you should pay us now and i'm like yeah i'll be all darned and so like i'll pull out my uh you know me i love my um i guess i am spending money on uh on hard drives and then i'll transfer everything to a hard drive which i'm distracted because i'm just remembering the other day i opened up a screen on my computer and i see that the internal hard drive of my current computer is almost full because I haven't been bouncing my tbtl episodes off of this computer you know the final products I haven't been bumping them off of this computer onto a hard drive I think I have a plan for this weekend some file management yes some file weekend doing

some file management yeah um yeah I uh I the problem that was happening with us in Dropbox was i would upload like my you know recording from where i was and then i would forget to share it with you and then i would be off doing something and you would very nicely say hey don't forget i need you to share this with me and that's why i wanted to just have a shared folder where i could just throw things and then not have to just do the minimal amount of co-broing with you which is to share the file of the audio it's such an easy thing but i was like how about instead we create a system where i never have to remember to do that and you were like no we can't because then it will count against your Dropboxery. They make $38 billion from wearables. I guess that would include, like, the watch or something. $35 billion from Mac, which, again, I'm going to guess is the laptops. And then $31 billion from iPads. I find the—I mean, you have a tablet that you kind of love, right? I need to, like, re-examine. i have an ipad here that i have not used in literally years in fact i don't even know it might be out outdated at this point but like i never really connected with the ipad as a product and i kind of don't know why because it's very convenient you can read on it you can do all this stuff but i think i am i think i like having a tactile keyboard so i if i'm going to be doing something on an ipad i'll just be doing it on my macbook air laptop which is pretty small and it gives me feels to me has way more functionality to it yeah and I um you know now that I have my

smaller laptop which I love it's not that much bigger than a tablet when it's closed um and it's probably not even heavier frankly I my tablet is basically there's a few specific uses I need it for like it mirrors my screen when Genevieve and I record after these messages she needs to see the commercials that I'm playing so like that's a very specific use but I don't know what I would do without it um probably find an old computer to do the same thing but it would take up too much space but really my tablet at this point is nothing more than a television because like i have all of my services on it like i have my xfinity service on there which means i can just stream anything that's live on tv i'll watch chris's show on msnbc or i will you know watch football games if i if i want to like make a bloody mary in the kitchen and not miss a moment of the football game i can have it on uh in there or and then of course all of my you know services my your hb's oh and your netflix and what have you so like let's be honest the windsors on cnn and the windsors on cnn don't sleep on that um so yeah and actually sometimes it's rare that i do this i like to read before i go to bed but every i've been like re-watching the wire there hasn't been any new good television made in the last 20 years so i've been re-watching uh tv in my off time and so like sometimes i'll supposed to be like if i'm down in the kitchen puttering around and like watching a re-watching a wire episode i might take it upstairs with me and just like kind of doze off watching the end

of an episode or something and you're using the like xfinity app or whatever your cable is that's

how you're watching yeah or that would be hbo you know hbo max so you've downloaded the apps to all

of the places where you it's not andrew by the way it's not television it's hbo oh sorry it's not

it's not television it's a samsung s tablet um but um but yeah so i have what do i have on there I mean, I got all of my services. I got my HBO. I do have the Xfinity, so I can watch live TV. But then you got HBO and Netflix and Hulu. Yeah.

I think I'm just, like I said, I think I'm just very used to my laptop. And my laptop is really small, so it's just kind of almost the same. And I just, I never took the time to, like, download various things to the iPad so that it would be useful to me. Let me tell you about this thing that happened over in England. And Christopher Walken was filming this TV show.

called The Outlaws, which is actually sort of the show was created by Stephen Merchant, the guy from the British version of The Office and a whole bunch of other things. Extras. Am I forgetting something else that he was in that he was great?

No, I always just think of him. I don't know him that well. I think of him as Ricky Gervais' buddy. And is he also the one that did Hello, Ladies? No, that was. Yes. Was that him?

was that him hello ladies yeah yes so he's making this show and in the show apparently this character that christopher walken is playing is ordered to do community service and so he's out on a work crew and the scene uh involves like a wall that's full of graffiti and there's like an actual banksy on it um and christopher walken's character finds it and he says to the uh to the the person And supervising him, this is where I do my Christopher Walken impression. I found a rat. I did it off mic because I couldn't commit to it, so I felt like if it was quieter.

It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. By the way, that sounds rude.

Put that on the marketing material.

Like when you made the first syllable, I was like, where are you going with it? But then it actually did tie all together, and I could hear it, so good job.

So he says to the supervisor, look, I found this rat. And the supervisor is not paying attention, thinks it's a real rat. And just then he says, you know, no, it's graffiti. And then the supervisor says, well, the instructions are to paint all of the graffiti. So he goes ahead and paints over this Banksy rat. And I guess it was a real Banksy. And on the and all I can imagine is that this was a thing that they did on purpose so that people would talk about the show. Right. Because otherwise, why would you do that?

Like, I don't know. This article is infuriating in in.

it's don't take it out on daniel victor of the new york times oh is that oh you know what i think i

read a different version because i think i read a cnn version and i was like classic cnn so maybe the new york times i trust them more maybe they did their due diligence because it raises all of these questions like there must be some organization i would assume maybe even potentially the government what's what's the name of this city is it uh bristol is that right yeah i believe so bristol like what is the what is the policy towards protecting or not protecting these things right yeah right that's a great question these are around so maybe the the the um producers aren't going to give you everything you want to know they're just trying to drum up um you know publicity for their for their show which kind of works i didn't know about the show and i kind of want to watch it now i had no idea it sounds good yeah um but like i hope the reporter would go out and say, well, what is the policy on these things? If Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh just showed up in Bristol with a can of paint and said, we are going to clean up this town, I assume that we can't just walk up to a Banksy and paint over it, right? There's probably some sort of protection. We know that these things are worth millions of dollars. Some of them have been removed from walls. The entire wall has been moved into a museum and has raised all these conversations about what is street art versus what is the kind of highfalutin art world and its place therein like there are all kinds of questions but like the did a reporter say by the way this is the organizing principle behind these these

pieces of street art it was not addressed in the new york times god damn it i think what we i think what we've learned is you should be covering art for a major publication because you're asking the right questions would i have to eat ranch dressing to do it you do that's one of the strange quirks of doing art criticism is you have to be at all times consuming some amount of ranch dressing um that's great but you're right like if that i mean it's a real banksy and you would imagine that the whatever street that whatever building that's on the person who owns that building would probably like to keep the banksy there so i assume there was some sort of agreement

in advance not with banksy himself i assume who knows who banksy is supposedly um how many people do you think know who Banksy is no but not even Banksy Banksy is I might be Banksy the Banksy is a sleepwalker theory is an interesting one even Banksy doesn't know there's some guy in Bristol who wakes up sometimes reeking of paint and he can't figure out what's going on comes to it's like a memento but it's happened again anyway um yeah so like you know somebody must have brokered this in some way who brokered it right right that's a that's a that's a good

question and yeah who said it was okay to paint over this thing and and why did they do it and also i mean well again i think it was probably just to get publicity banksy is of course not hurting for publicity uh ever he you know there he did that Stunt where The auctioned off a Banksy Print at like Sotheby's Or something and then after the Like high bid came in The picture started self Destructing it started shredding itself Did you see that story

Yeah I think we talked about it on TBTL That was the other iconic one the girl with The little red umbrella no a balloon

Balloon yeah but now that The shredded painting has like Quad quintupled in power A power in value Yeah. So now somebody has the destroyed painting and that's worth even more. I mean, I kind of like, you know, exit through the gift shop, I thought was a really fascinating documentary kind of about Banksy and really about this guy who kind of becomes obsessed with Banksy with photographing Banksy's art and then kind of becomes his own version of Banksy, which feels pretty derivative. um so i'm i'm for for all the hype i still i'm sort of pro banksy like i think the stuff he does is pretty cool but there's also kind of a point where it's like all right we get it stop shredding the paintings and then selling them for 10 times the amount i don't know if he's even getting that money or if it's just whoever owns the the art i guess now owns a more valuable piece of art like what do you do you feel generally positive towards the work of banksy or are you kind of a little

eye-rolly about it I used to be generally positive but the more the more this snake eats its tail the less I'm interested in it and like I say I feel like Banksy is now you know I believe that his roots I guess or her roots like we really don't know who Banksy is but yeah but it just sort of seems like um I you know I loved Exit Through the Gift Shop but now my memory of it is so tenuous but since seeing it I felt like I have learned that oh yeah it was like kind of a Banksy project that somehow the movie itself the documentary itself was also a prank on us the viewing audience do you remember this at all and then I started to feel like I had been taken by another Banksy prank and Pranksy I just like I don't know you know how I feel about prank culture and then I'm kind of like I don't mind people saying like this is art you don't necessarily understand it but a statement is being made here and the art is is the action of destroying the art like I my brain doesn't understand that stuff but I can respect it but I don't like this idea of oh I'm over here oh wait no I'm over here or was I ever here at all like fuck you like I don't I'm sorry I'm in a mood today but like I just kind of when

you get all tricksy with it I start to lose a lot of interest I was in Austin a while ago and I saw I think the name of the other guy's kind of like art name is like Mr. Brainwash, the kind of annoying French guy who's obsessed with Banksy but then starts doing his own stuff and then kind of becomes famous on his own. There was a bunch of his work in a gallery that you could just walk down the street, you could see it. And I remember it was kind of like, wow, this is still happening. My takeaway at the end of Exit to the Gift Shop was that guy's kind of full of crap and the joke is on him. But no, they're selling his stuff for hundreds of thousands of dollars in a gallery in Austin.

Oh, really? It works. So it does exist. For some reason, I thought the idea was we found out years later that the whole documentary wasn't really a documentary. I thought it was all something that was made up potentially by Banksy himself to create this fake character. But I think I might have misread something. I'm not saying that that is the truth. Clearly, I'm wrong. I'm just saying why I was confused about it. I thought it ended up being a prank. I think I misread something.

well in um in more i'm over here no i'm over here fuck you art news this mischief outfit they're the uh they're the same uh folks who did the supposedly put some blood in the kind of uh in these nike shoes these fake nike shoes that they made that were uh kind of um echoing i think some comments that lil nas x had made it had to do with uh the release of like a song by him or something and then people were freaking out and then i think they got sued by nike or something basically it was like you can't make a fake version of our shoe um well they're up to it again now what they've done is they bought an andy warhol original it's called fairies and uh they bought it for i think it was like eight thousand bucks or something it really wasn't that's kind of seems low for an original andy warhol also i like the drawing are you looking at a picture of the drawing yes i'm not looking at it now but i saw it the other day i kind of like the drawing i think of andy warhol is you know the pop art stuff that's you know he's so famous for but i actually really kind of like this it's just like three little figures and it was like eight thousand bucks they bought it and then they set up a robot that re-drew like reproduced like a thousand of these and then they also distressed the copies and then apparently

they mixed them all up so they don't even know the story is they don't even know which one is the real warhol and which one is the copy and so they're just selling these things um called possibly real copies of fairies by andy warhol that's the name of the work now and they're selling them for 250 a pop and they have i think sold out of them now um and as i heard somebody uh on uh npr say like the other day about this the whole the sort of point of it is that that mischief is trying to make a statement about what we value in art but this the the the the person who had written a biography of Andy Warhol said it would be a better project if they took like a label off of a like a can of soup or maybe that's a bad example because Andy Warhol did that but if I mean this whole thing is premised on the idea that there is value in the Andy Warhol original and so that's why people are buying it because they might get the real one so this would be a more interesting project if they took something that had no value and then reproduced it like the they're they're essentially like confirming the idea that that the Andy Warhol is valuable that there is value in art that was made by a specific artist as opposed to the

reproductions yeah because like you said this is a nice simple drawing and I like it it's fine but it's not doesn't get the classic Andrew Walsh FU but it's not like it's it's not something that was created because of an X you know out of an excess of skill or craftsmanship right it's a very simple line drawing that Andy Warhol made. When I say that, and again, I'm not trying to be like, hey, my third grader could make that. I'm not doing that. I promise. But I'm saying that there's a chance that somebody could have drawn this on a notepad or, you know, pen and ink or whatever. And some lesser known artists that I follow on Instagram could post this to their stories. And I'd be like, that's nice. And I would move on. The value is it. There is value in somebody's body of work and then therefore the pieces that come out of that body of work have more value because of the context i just believe you know in every aspect of life i feel like i'm constantly saying context is everything right and so and there's also the now this isn't about art now this is just about feeling but um when i was reading this the other day i was thinking about

that baseball that i have that ryan court i was gonna say i was gonna try to remember

was it a home run or a foul ball no it was a foul ball it was like ryan court who was a journeyman minor leaguer got called up because i'm trying to remember the the mariners had just called up somebody the day before but then i think he got a concussion and one of his first at bats and so they got pulled out so they pulled up this guy ryan court whom i'd never heard of before it was his first major league game and he was into his 30s i believe he was like 31 or something at the time I think he might have played a couple more games and then went back down to the minors I don't even know if he's still playing which is currently a free agent now I'm talking myself into this being especially valuable because like even though nobody knows who Ryan Court is isn't it more valuable to have a guy who only had like I don't know 10 at-bats in his major league

career that might be the only Ryan Court foul ball in the major leagues depending on how those

at-bats went but obviously it's not really worth anything because he's a Ryan Court is not a famous baseball player um but it means something to me because well my experience of grabbing this ball and the excitement and i i can't say catching it because it landed near me and rolled and i was the first one to get there but um i had to just like slaughter like four or five kids they were hanging onto my legs i'm just kicking them off um but uh what what i really when i when i take out that ball out of the bottom drawer of my cd cabinet which i will sometimes do and look at it It's like I like to think of the journey of this ball, not off of off of his bat and into my hands. But like, you know, the base, the official baseballs of Major League Baseball are muddied up by some mud that comes from a specific river, which is a little bit extra. But still, like it is part of the process. And I just like to hold that ball and just think this was a Major League ball. I can't remember who was pitching that day, but that was also in the hands of a Major League pitcher. Like there's something about the fact that, I mean, I could go out and buy that same exact ball that has never been, you know, in the field of play and muddy it up myself. But like, no, what is special about that ball is is every all of the context around that ball and the fact that it was to some degree in the hands of greatness. You know, when I say greatness of somebody who made it to the major leagues, you know, like that's why that ball. So the all of that to come back to this Warhol is it is interesting. I found this story a little bit more interesting because now you have, I guess, you know, 10 copies of something and one of them is the original or whatever the numbers are. It's interesting, but I wouldn't be interested in buying one of these because if you're at all interested in buying a Warhol, it's because you look at it every now and then and you think Andy Warhol touched that, you know?

Right. This is what Mischief said. Ubiquity is the.

darkness in which novelty and the avant-garde die their truest deaths oh yeah that's what i was just saying more than slashed canvas or burned pages democratization of access or ownership destroys any work premised on exclusivity by forging fairies en masse we obliterate the trail of provenance for the artwork though physically undamaged we destroy any future confidence in the veracity of the work by burying a needle in a needle stack we render the original as much a forgery as any of our replications so they sound pretty chill get over yourself they sound fun i i guess i kind of you know honestly though in reading that statement uh actually in reading that statement i guess i kind of get where they're coming from yeah yeah yeah no i don't want to take shots we've flooded the market with indistinguishable copies of this thing so that now and we don't even know what the original is so we have really actually kind of made it we've we've diluted it in this way which is our way of saying you know paying too much for a piece of art from a specific artist doesn't really matter i'm more interested though in your baseball analogy which i love i can kind of see i feel like the like cohen brothers maybe that's the wrong directors but like the film version of this baseball the movie opens and like wherever the baseballs are made the red violin isn't that

I've never seen The Red Violin, but isn't that the story of The Red Violin?

I haven't seen it either, but I'm going to say yes.

I might be thinking of the wrong movie, but there's some movie that follows a violin from its creation into various artists' hands.

Right. I'm just imagining the POV of this baseball as it goes down the assembly line, as somebody stitches it together, as it gets rubbed in that special mud, as it goes into the box, the box of baseballs. then the umpire hand pulling those baseballs out and then throwing it to the pitcher and then the pitcher pitching it

and then Trevor Bauer just dunking it into a vat of glue. Yeah, exactly. As he pitches it.

And then it coming off the bat of Ryan Court, landing near you, you getting it, and then on to Cooperstown.

Wait, am I going to Cooperstown? No, where's Ryan Court? You're going to Cooperstown, my friend.

There's a right way to rock And a wrong way to roll You can just listen To your soul Just remember that life Is number one You can be having So much fun Just remember that life Life is much fun You can be Number one

This first Blur's Day feels a little bit almost like a math problem for me. Amber in Baltimore says, I want to wish my TBTL son and IRL uncle, Jim, a very happy second 55th Blur's Day. Wow. Okay, so this means that Jim... So he's 105? Incredible. Somebody call Guinness. Did you carry the four? Okay, so TBTL's son means that Amber introduced Jim, her uncle, to TBTL. So Amber is Jim's TBTL daddy, but he's her real-life uncle. And I'm assuming this is his 56th Blur's Day. Amber says, I hope all your chickens cooperate. Oh, no, I messed that joke up. I hope all of your chickens coop-operate. Hope your kids make no messes and dogs only bark with joy.

Is that like a may the wind rise to meet you at your back? Is that an old Irish blessing that Amber is latching on to? Or did Amber make that up, I wonder?

May your dogs only bark with joy. I love it. May your coyotes. Yeah, I know.

May your coyotes not chase you in Dublin, California.

Here's how you know your story was good yesterday, Luke. I was having drinks with somebody last night, and I retold your story.

Oh, nice.

I'm flattered by that. I just said it was me, though.

Yeah, no, that's fine. And you have – I give you permission to adapt. I'll give you my life rights. Yeah. No, no, no, no.

I was a coyote. I was chasing this guy through the woods.

Well, here's the – you know who was not impressed with my story is my niece, Maddie, who is now – and who listens to the show. Hi, Maddie. There's a new dynamic on Hawk Squad, which is Maddie openly challenging my authority, my god-given authority as her uncle as her mother's brother so i was like uh who's ready for the burbank family fun run for thanksgiving uh which i was sort of joking because like every year i'm trying to get people to do it and like a lot of people are just like no way i'm not going to go on a jog this morning i'd like to be warm inside thank you but maddie's response was

I am so into the fun run, and I'm going to destroy you, Uncle Luke. I was like, wow, okay. Yeah, shots fired. Then my sister Hannah said, Luke, we need to see the picture of that wild boar. Also, Maddie's response, quote, I've seen a coyote up close on one of my jogs last summer. I'm fine.

Can we get her back on the show? It's been a little bit. No, not after this. No, I don't like this dynamic at all. I'm offering an official invite right now. I'm taking back my life rights. I'm just remembering now what after I told your story about these coyotes, the conversation turned to how many coyotes do you think it would take to pull down a Luke Burbank? I'm not even joking. I think Genevieve said several.

Well, physically or emotionally, physically, it might take a few. But I mean, even one, I would be ruined. I'd be done. Yeah. Like, I would be very, very traumatized by – I mean, that's the thing. There's a lot of stuff. Like, I don't – even if those coyotes had come around the corner and had attacked me, I don't think I would have died. In fact, they might have been small. You know, sometimes coyotes are, like, smaller than kind of a typical dog. It wasn't that I was going to die. It was that it was going to be really traumatizing if something came and tried to bite me.

Or it could just be, like, one sharp word from the coyote that just says something like, you know, I stopped listening to TBTL. Like that would destroy you.

I like to TB chill more when Sean and Jen were on the show.

Destroyed. Just destroyed.

Listener Doug from Bothell for a day or a lifetime. Oh, no, I'm trapped forever, says listener Doug. Doug's wishing my freakishly large little brother, Aaron. From Port Washington, New York, a happy 43rd birthday. Here's to you, co-bro and actual bro. I love it. Is that an inside joke, or is this the first that Aaron is hearing that he's freakishly large?

I don't know. I don't. I want to see a picture of Aaron. Christian says his vibes are the illest in his jams, Nari Dick. A very happy Blursday to my friend, former bandmate, and TBTL daddy Brian in Portland. He's one of my favorite people to sing with A great musician, recording engineer And dedicated 10 Check out his band, Small Souls Wherever he goes, he's the king of the tuk-tuk sound Here's to another trip around the sun

Happy Blurs Brian has created so much great content For this show musically, he's the best Happy Blurs Day to our Jacksonville 10 friend Alicia Nicholas I'm excited to spend the weekend champagne sabering with her like we did when we lived in Germany together. She is the best. We love you, Aunt Alicia. Jen, Gary, and Jackson.

I know Alicia, a great photographer, too. I think we met her down in Florida. I left the last name in there. Let one sneak in. I usually cut out the

last name. That's a freebie, Alicia.

That's a freebie. Garrett in Ypsilanti, Michigan says, I'd like to wish a happy first ever Blurs Day to my family's newest addition. Congratulations, Garrett. It's Gerald, who was born last Friday. Our first son.

It could only be Gerald.

I realize I said that. It's Gerald. It's Gerald. Let's see here. Garrett says, Our first son, Isaac, was born in February of 2020, so my wife and I enjoyed having a pandemic baby so much we decided to do it again. Gerald and his mom are perfectly at home. You did it all the different ways, Garrett. I knew this was going to turn it on. He's a very sweet newborn, and Isaac is already a loving older brother. Congratulations, guys. Happy birthday, Gerald.

Also, we have two listeners in Ypsilanti. Oh, yeah? Because I think listener Ken is out in Ypsilanti. We read his name.

You are right. I wonder if they know each other.

It's a lot of, I mean, how big is Ypsilanti? I mean, is it like 50% of the population knows about TBTL?

How much does Ypsilanti make in a second is what I want to know. Yeah, I wonder if those two know each other. Because they're both long-time TBTL listeners. We've met both of them before.

Is this Garrett our music guy?

Indeed it is. Indeed it is, yeah.

Emily says, Happy, slightly belated Blur's Day to my five. Max, a.k.a. Beeb. Beeb. He just turned 13 and is maybe turning into a 10. He's funny, thoughtful, and a smart kid who is surviving junior high and the current predicament of being a Packers fan. I didn't see that part of his Blur's Day message coming that's interesting uh i hope yeah peace and love i was actually i think i can say this i was texting with our friend steve nelson aka el ropo our former boss and he said i was like how's it going and he said well i'm just spending a lot of time trying to reconcile being a packer's Yeah.

What's going on with Aaron Rodgers? So peace and love to our Packers fans who did not individually do anything to bring this about, but now have to kind of deal with, you know, being fans of a team, but having a guy pull some shady stuff. Anyway, back to Beeb. Emily says, I hope we can someday communicate as mother and son exclusively in emojis and TBTL drops. Happy Blur's Day, Beeb.

Indeed, Beeb. happy blurs day to everybody these you don't i think the blurs days are just getting better and

better luke i'm not just saying that like i think we've done 10 000 blurs days i think we'll really

i mean remember that i was a sort of reluctant uh blurs day producer at first although i think it was my idea i don't even understand how or why i don't remember how we got into the narrative of wanting to do blurs days but then me complaining about doing blurs days and then the listeners hating blurs days but also loving blurs days i feel like you heard from maybe it was on maybe

it was on facebook or maybe it was a few listeners that were vocal but somebody got in your head

about not liking the blurs a lot of people got in my head about not liking blurs days it was a thing why are we still doing it i don't know um i've been phoning it in for years but no like i feel like also we're just getting more and more like kind of dazzling details of of people's lives knowing that their little brothers are freakishly large and what have you. I love them.

Yeah, absolutely. It's not my birthday. Yeah, you're right. The listeners once again have stepped up to the challenge, Andrew, and they've saved the segment by adding in more interesting, dazzling deets. Exactly. So thanks for doing that, everybody. All right, what song do you want to go out with?

Now, that's an interesting question. Do the Beatles have any songs about birthdays or anything?

We could go with Unhappy Birthday by Morrissey.

Oh, that's right. Didn't we just go out with a Smiths song earlier? We did, so we don't have to do that again. We can. No, that's fine. I'm just trying to think here. What have I been listening to lately? Do you have another song off of 69 Love Songs that you like? Because I happen to have that still open from last time.

Sure, sure I do. How about, oh man, how about Busby Berkeley Dreams?

Okay, sounds good. Ooh, I could watch me some Busby Berkeley right now.

All right, so let's, do we have a show title?

Yeah, quid pro no.

Good. I like that. All right. So that's going to do it for today's episode. Thanks so much. Hey, tomorrow is Friday. I know. Heck, if you're in the, you know, Southern Washington or Oregon area and you want to come out on Saturday night to the Alberta Rose Theater, we're going to be doing Livewire there. Gary Steingart will be there. Atsuko Okatsuka, who's a very funny stand-up comedian Who was just on James Corden And Omar Al-Aqad, who's a really phenomenal Writer. Anyway, it's going to be a fun night So maybe we'll see some of you out there

Can I have your Jerry Steinhardt book, by the way? Are you done with it?

I'm finishing it, like, probably this afternoon Do you want to have it after me?

I wouldn't mind, yeah, I've been trying to read Physical copies of books lately And so if you have a physical copy, I would take it

I do, I will send it your way Alright, thanks everyone, we'll see you tomorrow Until then, have a great Thursday, stay safe, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. And now you want to leave me for good I refuse to believe you could You forget we're not made of wood Well darling, you may do your worst Because you'll have to kill me first I haven't seen you in ages But it's not as bleak as it seems We still dance on whirling stages In my Busby Berkeley dreams The tears have stained all the pages Of my true romance magazine

So then I was like, screw it, Grandma. I'm gonna become a street artist yo I mean most people see a wall and they just see a wall I look at a wall and I see like a goat in a backpack like a ninja handing out cheeseburgers a chill alien you know well who doesn't see a chill alien that's my question a lot of people a lot of people it's sad power out