Muse

Dude, Liam, I just saw your Spotify rapped on your story. You renaissance man, hell yes! Kanye, Drake, Jack Harlow, Tame Impala. What don't you listen to? Sorry, I shouldn't even be looking you in the eyes. A top 1% listener of Drake? Congrats, bro. Seriously, congrats. You earned that s***. And I knew your top genre would be underground rap. You were always putting me under new s***. Fire s***! And your aura? Hype and chill? That's so you, bro. That's so you. My aura's not been as glowing. It's been a pretty dark year for me, start to finish. T-B-T-L.

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is.

It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. Get the get out. Are you going to get it out there? You're going to get out there for for what? Like just. Yeah.

Is your stomach flat? Yes, it is. But the L is silent. Poop diddy whoop scoop. Poop.

This party is going to be off the hook.

All right. Hello. Good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Is it too early to get a fish sandwich?

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

Me, me.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center in beautiful Portland, Oregon. And I do mean beautiful today. Blue skies, some couple of light clouds. But it is really a nice Friday here in the 503. And we have a nice show in store for you. It's episode 3568 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. You know we love a good Sky Jinx story around here, and boy, do we have one. Sky Jinx. The flight crew of a Delta flight that was heading from Syracuse, New York, to Atlanta had to radio to the ground to get a team together called the Redcoats, which is, let's be honest, kind of a weird name, but these are the specially trained elite team to help with disruptive passengers. once the plane lands. What was this passenger doing that was disruptive? Allegedly attempting to breastfeed her cat.

Huh?

So we'll dazzle you with the deets of that story coming up. Oh, and the listeners are responding to my rant about the people who parked their trucks by backing them into the spot. I made a lot of hasty assumptions about why people might do that. And a lot of people want to email in and clarify why they actually do that. Oh, and then speaking of trucks, I've got an update on the truck that started that whole conversation in my actual parking garage. In fact, across from where I park my car, there's been a development, I think, in that situation. And we'll tell you about that. And then if we have time, maybe we'll do these rants and raves.

Let's take on projects that we know we can't do and do them.

We've been now promoting this segment, I think, for three, maybe four shows now, and we have yet to get to it, so I don't know if it's going to happen today or not. But, you know, hope dies last, I think. For us, I think it's the entertainment factor. That passed away long ago on this show. But we still have hope, and we hope to get to that topic today, if possible. I know we're going to get to music for your weekend, because we always do that on Fridays. So stick around for that as well. And stick around for this guy. The longest-running co-bro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I don't have anything urgent or pressing that I feel that I need to goof around with you about here at the top of the show. Oh, and of course, was it yesterday? This week has been such a weird week, but I think it was yesterday on the show that it was amazing that we had a lighter load on the show sheet than usual, and we got to nothing. That's not true. I think Spotify rap was actually something on the show sheet. My point here, as I babble away, is do you just want to get into this truck thing? Should we just actually start by following the show sheet for once? Will that be good, or will it constrain us?

It definitely it struck a nerve with people who park their trucks, who back their trucks into parking spots, including even if I can, Andrew, if I can be. open with the listeners um your he's not technically your brother-in-law i call him my

brother-in-law but for all intents and purposes zachary the i call him my brother-in-law from another mother-in-law is what i call him that is show title wow cooking today brother-in-law

from another mother-in-law your own uh quasi brother-in-law zachary who is an awesome dude and a pretty dedicated TVTL listener and a donor and all of those things. This is where, because, you know, we hear from a lot of listeners on a lot of topics, but it's rare that we hear from someone who's basically in the family, who's basically blood kin to what we're doing here. And Zachary's on that list. And so what I saw from Zachary, trucks backing into parking spaces, I was like, uh-oh. And now I feel extra bad. I don't want to hurt any of the listeners' feelings, but I really don't want to hurt Zachary's feelings. he said hey dummies as a non-black rifle coffee person now that was where the beginning of my the beginning of my besmirching of people who back their trucks in the parking spots that was where it probably really started to kind of become inappropriate i have in my experience and this is probably is it confirmation bias it's what does that mean exactly like once i get a notion in my head then i'm just looking for things that support that notion right yeah exactly and so a while ago i noticed that much more there seemed to be a much higher occurrence of people backing their trucks in the parking spots as opposed to parking you know nose in with the truck and it must have been the first few trucks that i saw doing and they oftentimes were kind of like lifted or they were really big trucks um i seemed to sense a certain kind of maga energy around those those vehicles now i attribute that energy to those trucks when i see them on the road so it's not even about the parking it's just about my complicated relationship with trucks i guess black rifle coffee company which i i really want to stop promoting them by saying their name nobody go buy their stuff please if you see somebody in a black rifle coffee company t-shirt boarding a plane you know they're not going to have the mask over their nose okay that's just and that's just

one of those hankies it's gonna be one of those hankies it's gonna be a hanky that has like the punisher logo on it right wait you know some bullshit hold on one second though because i'm you're the you are my number one source of information about conservative coffee shop chains because i had never heard of it until you mentioned it on the show the other day but then when we were on our road trip sorry i just inhaled and you might have heard what sounded like a death rattle i think i'm fine um but when we were on our most recent road trip to arizona right before that road trip you had mentioned that other uh coffee chain that you sort of associated with

this demographic that's dutch brothers that dutch brothers is much less let me just say peace and love to our dutch brothers fans out there the dutch mafia hashtag dutch mafia definitely less sort of coded around conservative stuff it's i mean it's not explicitly it's dutch brothers strikes me as kind of coffee for people that maybe think that starbucks is a little snooty or a little bit i don't know just kind of boring because the whole dutch brothers thing is you know a lot of their coffee will just have all kinds of uh elaborate um recipes and sprinkles in it and things like that i mean it's fun it's probably a fun thing to to drink and there are people that like it i don't see it as strictly like i said coded as like black rifle coffee company which i think literally is like founded because they were like you can't take your gun into starbucks so but you actually shoot you shoot the coffee machine at black rifle coffee you walk in it's a target it's actually a target range and coffee shop and if you shatter the coffee pot then uh your cup of coffee is free that day or something are you interested in

starting a coffee shop with me called cuckold's coffee and creamery

is that a yes are you gonna make that that's a that is a hard yes because the thing is black rifle coffee company has really they've they've sort of staked out the corner of the market that's that is people who think that starbucks is is too liberal but what about the people who think Starbucks isn't liberal enough and needs more cucking anyway anyway we've established what black rifle coffee is yeah so I and and again this started I got on this rant the other day because of this truck in my in my parking garage here in my apartment that was backed in and still taking up like half of the roadway because they were the person appeared to be in my mind afraid to back their truck all the way up to where the concrete wall was. Anyway, Zachary says, As a non-black rifle coffee person who regularly backs into parking spaces, I figured I'd share my reasoning for parking like a, quote, maniac. I must have used the word maniac. No, I don't.

remember that i back in because it's easier and safer than backing out later in a crowded parking lot the aisles are filled with cars and people coming and going reversing into an empty space that i know is clear allows me to keep an eye on those people as i back in i know some see backing in as a quote cool guy move but no matter which way you park everyone has to do the same backup and pull forward maneuvers at some point in the process this was something that was brought up by a lot of people the fact that backing into the parking spot in fact sometimes if you if you were like if you've been driving a truck your whole life or if you learned how to drive on a truck people were telling me that this is literally what they're taught this is you know you back the truck in because you have limited visibility uh potentially and you're less likely to hit someone when you're backing into an empty parking space than when you're backing out of an empty parking space into a traffic the area plus again as zachary points out you're going to have to do the maneuver you're backing the truck up at one point it's either as you're going into the space or as you're exiting the space and that's a fair point um yeah sorry you finished no no you finished reading this and then i'll comment on that and uh said uh this is from my brother sometimes it makes more sense to back in with a pickup truck truck especially if you have a ball hitch that people walking by can smack their shins on everyone who has a hitch has done this at least once now that's an interesting perspective as well so i'm i'm seeing it as just some kind of weird maga guy move and this is someone's putting forward the idea that it's actually being the thoughtful person you're saying hey i don't want you to like i don't want you to uh whack your shin on the ball hitch on my uh on my trailer uh trailer hit i don't want my truck nuts to give you

a bruise on your shin um what i was going to say before is i want to add uh you know we got an email here from uh listener dave who um kind of says some of the similar things that zachary was saying he gave us a bullet pointed list of of reasons he backs in his truck and he says geometry when piloting a large truck sometimes it is the only way to get into a spot uh the longer wheelbase of a truck extends the turning radius sometimes making the 90 turn into a spot impossible and then what i liked about this one is he included some visual aids which don't really do any good for our listening audience right now but it was so thorough and i don't know where he got these it must be from some online driving course and like when you think about it that way oh yeah i mean only one set of wheels on a vehicle turns and geometrically speaking it does make sense to back into a spot but the thing is and this is where it's kind of counterintuitive this is what i was going to say before like everything that Zachary and Dave is saying and and like I agree with all of this in fact this makes me want to get better at backing into spots even with my little uh my little uh VW Golf but the thing is I also understand that it is um counterintuitive in a certain way right because if you're just in your car you and I are in a car and then we need to pull into a parking spot that has cars on either side of it it just seems like a more risky gambit right and more difficult uh task to back in precisely to thread that needle in that way exactly but it does make sense now obviously it makes it easier when you're leaving and makes it safer as they were saying for pedestrians when you're leaving because when you're backing out of a spot that has cars on either side of it yeah you have tons of blind spots and it is more dangerous for the pedestrians but it's that especially if you're not doing it all the time like you and I it's that backing into even with our rear view cameras now I feel like my first attempt at that is always crooked and then I have to get out of the car and then shake my head at my bad parking skills and then get back in and straighten it out and I say that as somebody who's a proud parallel parker but just never backs into spaces yeah Jamie our friend down

in Mississippi said a lot of workplaces assign trucks for people who can only use them occasionally It's just their fleet vehicle. We do this for scientists who need a truck a couple of times a month. You see backup parking and safety guidelines for people who bring their bigger trucks home. When you're up too high, you could miss a small kid, a barrier, et cetera. So Jamie is saying that it's actually like sometimes if you've got a work truck, they're actually telling you this is the way that we do it if you're driving this truck. Now, you want to know the irony here, Andrew. I don't think I've even gotten into this on the show. Or maybe I haven't. I forgot about it. But you know that I recently became the owner of a giant 1970s Ford truck that I bought off the street in Portland. Her name is Clementine. She's a 1974 Ford Explorer F-250. She's a kind of unique 70s color of orange. I was going to a movie with Becca. I saw this truck. It had a for sale sign in the window. I texted the guy. He met me there the next day. He could not get the truck running, so he sold it to me. me for basically nothing got the truck towed to a uh repair shop kind of not too far from here and the guy said oh it's just a loose wire he got it running but he said it's really rough and i said well can you tune that up and he said i need you to come hear how rough this thing is before you put any more money into it which is by the way the very yeah it's actually a it's actually a very respectful uh respectable thing for this auto shop to do instead of just taking my money and you know i don't know just accepting my money for a project that may be futile i guess so i am the owner of this this truck which i very lord knows the thing doesn't have like backup cameras or anything like that it's from the 70s but here i am talking about people who are backing their trucks into spaces if i actually can get this thing working i bought this because of this remodeling project that i'm going to do and i'm going to be hauling a lot of debris and things and i i needed some kind of vehicle to do that and so if i can get this thing running and if i actually end up using it for the designed uh purpose uh i will probably be a guy backing my truck into spot you know so it's it's funny that i that i was on such a high horse about it and lots of listeners have been explaining why maybe it's not as maybe it's more practical than i was realizing so i i want to apologize to all of our listeners who are backing their trucks into spaces um uh turns out many of you are doing it for the right reason now as far as the truck in my parking uh garage that is directly across from me and that is uh the person has been parking it uh they've been backing it in and it's been sticking way out into the the driveway area i got home last night i flew home from la yesterday and uh i walked in and would you

believe it andrew the truck is now parked nose first into the parking spot and it was snugged all the way up against the wall now it's still sort of sticking out a little bit but i will give this person credit they have that thing pulled in as far as it can really go reasonably so it's much much less pronounced than it was before and i my guess is that i was not the only i didn't i never send an email or anything but my guess is i was not the only person who was put off by this particular situation and somebody talked to them and now they're gonna park their truck you know they're gonna pull in and they're gonna now just means that they're probably gonna deep trunk my car as they try to back their truck out of the parking spot at some point um there's also a

possibility unless you think this is not a possibility that they walked out to their truck one day and said whoa i didn't realize i'd left this thing sticking out so far i mean could it have been a self-realization you ever come out of someplace and look at the way you parked them and like what was i thinking who was that guy who parked this car an hour ago i have had that well

the worst version of that is sometimes if it's a dicey parking situation like it's just a spot that's maybe not quite large enough for you i mean you can get your car in there but only by doing it at some weird angle where you end up you're now you're parallel parking and you are now between these two cars but you are somehow six feet from the curb you know because of the the weirdness of the geometry of the situation and then you get out it's like you get out and you look at the car and you're like this is not right but you're also like i'm late for something or i just don't feel like getting back in and redoing this and then the whole time you're at lunch or whatever if you're me you're just thinking god that car is just hanging out there on the roadway someone's just going to take the mirror off um so yes i do know what you're talking about from uh disappointed being disappointed in myself about parking and it's very possible this person came back to their truck although it was that way for kind of a long time it wasn't and like they were in it would

appear that it was several parking jobs the truck had come that's the part that i don't really that's

the part i can't really tell um i just i noticed it going on for probably four or five days so if i can if we're assuming that that person did leave and come back uh using their vehicle then yes i think that this is how they were parking yeah maybe they just saw it but my guess is that

somebody complained um i have another parking related email that just came in from not a family member but somebody who feels like family our friend edward just wrote in to say hey i hate to sharpshoot tvtl breaking news but i'm pretty sure the rideshare parking lot at lax is pronounced la exit not lax it also i once returned to lax after christmas vacation and someone had defecated next to my parked car so there's your lax lot c for you right there but yeah i think you were calling right shuttle lax it yesterday which is funnier for sure but it's probably la exit

of course it is i don't know why my brain why my brain interpreted those words as lax it instead of lax it because that makes uh about 5,000% more sense. But for some reason, it made me extra mad when I thought it was lax it because they're just like, that's no big deal, man. It's just all lax. It's just like, let's lax it out of here.

There is something, I want to tell you what it is now, but I will try for once in my GD life to keep my powder dry. But the exact same thing happened to me in the Hey Dummies video. Last time I did a Hey Dummies video, I said a word, I was reading an article kind of on the fly, and I said a word that made no sense to me. The original name of Funyuns was something else, but they had to change it. And I could not, I'm looking at this word and I could not understand why the original was what it was. And then somebody wrote in and explained it to me that I was just, I was looking at this word, but not reading it the right way. If you want to know more, sign up for the TBTL newsletter, which will be coming out later today. I might even sign up for it. Re-sign up for it. Yeah, so all will be revealed in today's Hey Dummies video, which is a show and tell. I didn't have any questions to answer, so I just showed and telled a bunch of stuff around my studio. Nice. Okay. I will unsubscribe and resubscribe. Does that help our numbers? Maybe. Just dynamism is what we're looking for. Dynamism. Yeah.

Right. We've already demonstrated integrity and bravery this week on the show.

Yeah, we did. Yesterday was a brave show.

I really liked your tweet about that, by the way. I saw that and I was like, if I was just scanning Twitter and I saw this and I was kind of loosely interested in TBTL, I would tune in for that. I mean, I would be disappointed once I listened to it.

That's the double-edged sword of that tweet.

Dynamism, my boy. Dynamism. You'd have people tuning in, so there's that.

One question before you go to break, because we're talking about your neighbor situations, just give us a little update on the smoking situation. It sounds like things are moving in a positive direction with the parking situation, said truck. But you also had a neighbor who was smoking nearby. You think on one of the balconies near you and it was disturbing you. Any more? We're also kind of hoping that might have been just somebody visiting and maybe not somebody who lives there.

Yeah, I will see. I haven't been out on the balcony since we talked about it, because I think maybe even that day I had to leave and go to L.A. for this candy story, which which is kind of interesting, by the way, which is good because we're going to put on television. So hopefully it's interesting. But, yeah, the story of that Seize Candy, there's some interesting stuff there. But, anyway, I was down in L.A. doing that. I have not had a chance to go back on the balcony, so I don't know. But maybe this weekend I'll have a chance to go out there, and then I'll be able to see what's going on. Because that feels like – I don't know why, but the weekend feels like high time for smoking. And maybe – I don't know. If you used to be a smoker, I guess you just – do you smoke the same amount every day when you're a smoker? Or are there, like, Saturday mornings with my cigarette and my coffee, that's my day for it, or Sunday? Like, are you someone more likely to be smoking on a weekend or a weekday?

I don't know about that. I do think that there might be a slight change of behavior, like everything from weekdays to weekends, depending on somebody's situation. I do think that it's very ritualized, generally speaking. But a weekend ritual could be different than a weekday ritual, especially if somebody's going into the office during the day or into their work site during the day. And then, you know, are home on the weekends, I guess, though, generally speaking, like, don't get me wrong. I'm I'm glad that it hasn't been bothering you. And I understand it. But it's like, oh, I kind of I kind of had more of a feeling like this was kind of coming in your windows and generally bugging you. Like if it is winter right now and you're not spending much time on your balcony and you only smell it when you're on your balcony. This might be something that can just like, you know, wait until summertime because who even knows, you know, if they're going to renew their lease or what have you. You know what I mean? It's not as immediate as I once thought.

Right. And that's why I was saying I was going to try to see if it could resolve itself. I mean, the thing is, like, what happened was the two times I went on my balcony over the course of two days, and also when I opened my window while watching Monday Night Football, the smoke was coming in. So that was kind of like, it just basically happened, like, enough times in a row that I was, like, starting to probably future trip and spin out and think, is this my life now? Am I just going to be enveloped in a cloud of cigarette smoke every waking second of my life? And then what happens when it's summer and then, you know, the fetal position crying in the bathroom. But luckily, the bathroom has room for that. There's actually a fetal position crying area designated for that.

I'd love to see the little symbol for that. You know, like there's an international symbol. Believe me, that's also going to be the logo for our coffee shop.

What's it? Cuckolds crying and creaming.

What?

Excuse me? Coffee and creamery. But I do like the working and crying in there somewhere, too.

And then the logo is just somebody in the fetal position lying on the floor.

Arms wrapped around the legs, wrapped around the knees.

pulled up to the chest i love it yeah um well yeah i will i will be uh i'll do a little experiment this weekend when i go out on the balcony and see how it goes speaking of this weekend when we come back from this break i have a saturday lined up tomorrow andrew that i think i don't want to speak for you or or or make it sound like you're um i don't i don't want to speak for you yeah because you're not you're absolutely not and and like we went out uh the other one friday and had a super fun time. But I have a Saturday lineup tomorrow, Andrew, that I think sounds like not the thing you would be signing up for. So maybe we can talk about that too when we come back from this break. Anything to not get to the rants and raves I think is really the key here. So quick break here on TVTL and then back with much more. let's thank some donors of the day sorry for my delayed response there i was looking at pictures of my daughter's cat no hawk squad she's got this adorable cat named blue and a new cat yeah I think Blue is a kitten I don't know how old maybe six months or eight months but yeah Hawk Squad has just turned into cuteness overload right now it's just lots and lots of pictures of Violet my adorable new niece and then Blue and then you know various other pets and small children I just keep texting pictures of myself in cute outfits and that seems to get sort of lower engagement really than like violet and i do the whole thing i do the thing where i'm in a diaper and i'm sleeping on a pumpkin like an ann getty's photograph uh sometimes i'll be like i'm in a peapod i'll photoshop myself into a peapod

that's really true but you can always no matter how hard you try you can always still sort of see your arm leaving the frame so everybody knows it's still like kind of a kind of a thirsty selfie

you know. Yeah. It's amazing. I mean, I'm a semi-public figure. I'm pretty popular in the wide world, but in Hawk Squad, just my Q rating is very low. It's well below blue and violet.

I'm picturing you in your bedroom in front of a full-length mirror that needs cleaning, and you've got one of those things on the back of your phone so you can hold it and like kind of take a selfie, and you're like, you're in a pea pod, but you kind of look like Tim Robinson dressed up like a hot dog only it happens to be a peapod and you're taking you're taking selfies in your bedroom mirror with piles of clothes around you and you're posting in that the hawk

squad how close did i get there eggs like honestly if if you told me you were hiding in the room when i was doing that i would believe you because you described it exactly as it happened i started watching for some reason on the plane last night i started watching i think you should leave i just had a i wanted to watch the dan flashes sketch i think because you mentioned it the other day yeah and i was also kind of curious like i know that this alaska wi-fi says it doesn't support streaming but let's just see and it did it actually worked i was watching netflix um but then i not only do i feel more sad when i'm watching a a sad movie i i very rarely actually watch movies on planes which is kind of silly of me because there's always a bunch of things that i have on my list to watch i spend a lot of time on airplanes i guess mostly what i do is work on something um so i just don't we get it i know right i was just trying to think what am i doing on the airplane that's not watching a movie i mean sometimes it's working sometimes i guess it's just surfing the surfing the net like a mom on the net or something but anyway i i decided i want to watch the dan flashes sketch and i was just not only do i feel things more deeply in the direction of sadness But I feel things more deeply in the direction of laughing. And I was just snort laughing through my mask.

I wouldn't trust myself to watch that in public on an airplane. Like, I just think I would lose it.

I was also then trying to remember, like, I was trying to speed. I've watched, you know, both seasons now a couple times. I was trying to speed through every episode in my mind and think there's not any nudity, is there? I mean, it's not that kind of show. There's a lot of inappropriate, you might say, quote unquote, inappropriate language. but it's language and no one was going to be able to hear it because i had headphones on but i kept thinking like there's not something weird is not going to happen on the screen right so it's like i was like sitting next to this mom and her daughter i my guess is that they were in la for the bts show bts was playing three sold out nights at sofi the reason i think this mom and daughter were uh were there for that show is because they had a bunch of bts merch and they were watching bts on the daughter's cell phone the entire time it was like a bts concert i was like thinking you were just at the concert now you're watching a different concert on your phone you really love this bts stuff yeah So I did not want to have some weirdness go on, you know, happening on my Netflix screen. But anyway, I was the weirdness was just coming from me as I was laughing and laughing. The same thing happened to me when I was reading the Simon Rich book, The Last Boyfriend on Earth. I was I was almost sobbing with laughter. Like I was laughing so hard that it was almost it almost became like it was it was very, very, very confusing for the people sitting to me. But it was one of the funniest books I've ever read. And I was at altitude, possibly hungover. I don't know. So there's a lot going on emotionally.

Was that the one from a long time ago or is this his second book now? Because I remember you. I remember years ago when you first, I think, read his first book or something. Maybe that was another Livewire interview. I don't know. But I'm talking years ago. I think we were at Cairo at the time. I remember you being kind of over the moon on that first book.

yeah i think that was last girlfriend on earth which is an essay about how just very quickly before we get to the donuts of the day i mean the book has a whole bunch of really amazing like premises or essays like concepts in it i guess but like the last girlfriend on earth is basically the story of he's there's been some kind of a global plague and every woman on earth has died except this guy's girlfriend so she's the last woman on earth but she's also his girlfriend and they're dating but it's just the story of everybody who's hitting on her and like the president is like flying her to the white house but like she's there's like no we're just friends it's cool and it's like i mean the joke is really on simon rich's character who's just deeply insecure and trying to like be cool with it but also be vigilant about the fact that he has the only girlfriend on planet earth anyway it's much funnier in the reading than in my describing of it but that guy is uh that guy is quite the the writer anyway it's time to thank some donors of the day these are the generous supporters of the program who are making today's episode possible with their monthly donation folks like nancy nester in albuquerque uh new mexico

i knew i should have taken that oh my god albuquerque even better when i was sending you these donors yesterday um i saw that the first one was albuquerque and i thought oh luke's gonna do an impression of Bugs Bunny. I didn't know that you were going to have the drop. I just did it. Oh, that was me. Oh, wow. Holy cow. You've been working

on that. Yeah. A listener told me to lean into my impressions, and I really am. That was my Christopher Wolkin.

And the watch, see? You don't want to know where it's been. Yeah, I lost my

Bugs Bunny there. Thank you, Nancy. Also, Stephen McConkie is in Oh, speaking of the Hawk Squad, Silverdale, Washington. i see you steven thanks for uh thanks for supporting the show say say hi to my mom at

the y um or don't leave the woman or maybe don't actually you know what private citizen

is she she was my mom has never made an attempt to be a private citizen that's the only reason that i feel okay about talking about my mom so much on the show one because she's just a legend like she just i mean just the things i could just tell you from thanksgiving alone of just funny things that my mom said at some point i just started tweeting them just her reviews of things like uh what um oh the we were watching the macy's parade and the uh there was a float for the musical wicked the very successful musical wicked which of course is the story it's sort of the story of the wicked witch except she's kind of the good person in my mom said something like she just sees it for one second and i go wicked mom are you into wicked she goes the wizard of oz was a great movie you don't need to take it further and then she was like then somehow the topic of king of queens came up and she said something like yeah you know it's like you don't have to do a final season because she thought the final season of king of queens didn't really hold up like my mom's kind of just reactive takes on things i know those are both kind of versions of the same opinion but like my mom is just a my mom is truly one of a kind but the reason i feel okay talking about her on the show is because my mom has been seeking to be a quasi-public figure since i've known her you know whether it was at church or at her aa meetings or at her bible study fellowships that she leads or whatever it is she does my mom very much likes uh people paying attention to her so i feel like if someone were to see my mom in real life maybe not like in the y locker room but like if you if you were to see susie b out on the street and you said oh hey you're luke's mom love hearing about you on the

show i know that would brighten her day well also we should get her on the show again then do you remember she was on the show i mean she's been on the show a lot over the years um but when we were recording i believe this special introductory episode of tbtl what the hell is tbtl we had your mom on i think

Thank you.

we got into a conversation i was earnestly saying like if she wanted to start a podcast i would offer technical support and help to make that happen um because i feel like she could i feel like she could hold up you know her end of a podcast but also we could just get her on this podcast which might be easiest for everybody involved yeah i'm with you though like my mom

could my mom aspires to be a writer because she's just got a million wild stories and has lived quite a life but you know i speak as a uh as a aspiring writer who's yet to actually sit down and put pen to paper um myself but it's like i know that that that part of the process has been challenging for her at times but like if you just ask her any question she will respond with the most unexpected response that you could have imagined and it's completely natural to her and she could do that on any topic known to known to people and i would listen to that podcast let's do

quick fire with suzy b we just have a list of 10 questions that we want immediate reaction to boom

boom boom boom boom that's the segment let's do it let's get her on okay uh let's also thanks alexandra malo who's in brooklyn new york thank you alexandra for supporting the program and then Catherine Urbati is also in Brooklyn. The Brooklynites. The Brooklynites. I don't know what you're doing. That's my impression of M. Doty. Remember when that band was a whole thing? Soul Coughing?

Oh, oh, Soul Coughing. Yes, I was into those records, those first two records in college.

The Brooklynites. That was a song that was on the soundtrack to the movie Smoke, which was like Harvey Keitel. It was like a very Brooklyn-y movie. And I maybe had been to New York once, but everything that I knew about New York and Brooklyn pretty much came from that movie Smoke. And it's got a really great soundtrack, including some song called The Brooklynites, where Soul Coughing is just listing the subway stops in Brooklyn. DeKalb. Oh, yes, right, yes. And then for the rest of my life, and when I lived in New York, every time I'd be getting to the DeKalb stop, I'd be hearing the guy from Soul Coughing going, You know, I don't know if I need to give my review.

This isn't Speed Dial with Suzy B or whatever we're calling that. Although I kind of like that even better. But yeah, you know, that's one of those bands where, and this is not, if people are listening to those albums and still enjoying them, that is awesome. I'm glad you do. Like, that is a band for me that I, number one, associate with one of my, the first girls I ever dated. She's the one who told me about it. So I always have that, you know, I cannot separate those two ideas. But also, like, I kind of cringe thinking about it. Like, I really enjoyed it. And the thing is, if I turned it on, like, I feel like that's the type of thing. Like, it's almost like we talk about, like, you're, oh, shoot. Like, when you like something, but you don't want people to know that you like it. Whatever that. Guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasure. It's like if I were alone in my apartment, maybe I would listen to that and just like let the nostalgia just wash over me. But I think I've always known that it's also a little cringy. Like I wouldn't want somebody walking in on me listening to it, if that makes sense.

There is a certain kind of energy to it that at the time, because everybody was listening to it in my friend group, you know, you just were kind of used to it. It would be on at parties. I remember the first time I heard Circles, which I say is still an amazingly good song. And for some reason, I always have a hard time finding it online when I'm looking for it. I had a version that I had downloaded on Kazaa, and it had like a weird glitch, and I would sit at my desk at KUOW and listen to Circles by Soul Coughing, and then there'd be that like some weird digital distortion in the middle of it, which became part of the song for me. anyway i i remember hearing that song uh you you know our our friends uh andy and sky who we hung out with at nye's polonaise those those that whole group of people from minnesota and wisconsin all lived in this house in seattle and i remember sitting on their front porch in the summertime and being like probably 25 or something and somebody playing circles by soul coughing and me just being like this is the best moment of my life and it may have been i mean yeah quite honestly so i'm with you i like really enjoyed that music when it happened if i were to hear the brooklynites or that song circles or whatever i would totally be into it and i would leave it on but it's also not something that like i'm not gonna probably go out and buy the cds at this point or something yeah maybe i'll make that music for my weekend probably not though i was gonna say maybe can you find circles i feel like about once every year and a half we play that song on the show because I get on the topic of soul coughing, and then I have to bring up that song. But anyway, hey, we still have to continue thanking our donors of the day. Do you have any soul coughing? play under uh can we play the brooklynites you know yesterday andrew we showed the bravery to um play the music of bush while talking about the music of the flaming lips and then we inverted it do we have the bravery today to talk about people who don't live in brooklyn while playing the song

the brooklynites by soul coffee i found it because i don't know that i know this one if it's is this It's a real, it feels like it's a real kind of free form, if I remember right. See, this is one that I might know because you've talked about it and played it before. Although the list, you said he lists stops.

At the end of the song, he starts listing subway stops. I feel like I was also listening to a lot of this kind of music. Like, I've listened to a lot of G-Love and Special Sauce. Yeah. There's a lot of things where, like, somebody laid down a funky guitar riff and then a white guy did something. That was really my sweet spot for a period of my life. Now, this says this was, is this what you said? This says it's from the movie Blue in the Face. Oh, Blue in the Face and Smoke are sort of companion pieces, I think.

I've never heard of either, unless you've mentioned it and I've forgotten.

smoke was harvey keitel owns like a bodega and he takes a picture in front of his bodega every single day and it's just kind of vignettes i think maybe paul oster wrote the screenplay and it's just lots of people coming in and out of the store and being quirky and this and that and then blue in the face i feel like was a was had a like similar cast or it was kind of the same people maybe it was like a sequel or a parallel version then they went and they made Cigarettes and Coffee, which is also Paul Oster, I believe, and it's also kind of vignettes. Wait, that's not... You're not

thinking of the Jim Jarmusch film, Coffee and Cigarettes?

Yeah, that's the one. Oh, okay. I feel like I think... I feel like that also has some connection to the Smoke and Blue in the Face

universe. Oh, I see. But different director, right? Because Jarmusch... And I know I said Jarmusch and now I'm going with Jarmusch. I think it's Jarmusch. I don't think he did those other two, right?

He did not. No, he did not. But Paul Oster, I don't think he directed the other ones. I think he wrote them.

I didn't know that Paul Auster wrote screenplays.

I went through a pretty big Paul Auster phase. The reason I feel like I remember this is because, one, I thought that movie Smoke was amazing. And also, I think I got the soundtrack for free. Like, it was one of those CDs with a notch in the spine that just showed up at KUOW. And so I was very into it. But anyway, I'm sorry. We're getting off track. What we need to do right now is thank Tara Wright, who's in Boise, Idaho. The Boiseites. The Boiseites. The Boiseites.

Let me see if I can find that.

Can you find the Boiseites by Soul Cockle?

And then we have to list all of the subway stops in Boise. Yeah.

The Bench. That's pretty much what I got. That's what we got, yeah. Yeah. Also, Mike Wolfe is supporting the program from all the way up there in Bellingham, Washington. Are you familiar? The Bay City. I am very familiar. Mike, thank you very much for supporting the show. Well, thank you to all of our donors of the day for making today's episode possible. We really do appreciate you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Just quickly, because I mentioned it before the break, which feels like about one to two days ago. So I have quite the – I have an embarrassment of fun scheduled for tomorrow, but it might be too much fun for one person, too many things. So we're getting brunch in the morning with Becca's brother and his partner, and we're going to check out this. He's a contractor here in Portland and basically has this company where they they buy lots of really cool historic properties and fix them up and bring them back to their original luster. So he has this project here not far from where I live that he wants to show us. So we're going to get some brunch. We're going to do that. then uh through actually our friends at alaska airlines but through becca's job we got invited to go to the portland timbers match uh and hang out in their suite is that what you did last time you were there i think you mentioned yes it was yeah we went we went to the the timbers playing the minnesota team whatever i forget the name but um and that was also a thing where somebody had a suite and so we got to sit in the suite i it's sad how kind of how much that appeals to me which is silly because it's like it's fun to go to a like a sporting event it's fun to go to a seahawks game um you know relatively fun and it's fun to go to a sounders match or whatever but had becca said oh someone offered us a couple of free tickets to go see the timbers i would have been like yeah maybe but then she's like yeah it's in the suite then some part of me that just will never there's a part of me that grew up kind of poor and always wanting to be like you know um i don't know just the part of me that always this is always a little bit stoked about something that seems fancy just gets stimulated by that and i was like yeah we should probably go to that then someone else said uh reach out and said oh i have a couple of free tickets to see nikki glazer the comedian at revolution hall so tomorrow is going to be brunch in the morning into the uh timbers match into a night of stand-up comedy featuring nikki glazer which it sounds fun but it also i feel like by the time we get to the comedy piece of the day i'm going to be just like wiped i'm going to be like i'm ready to go home

now yeah and i know that you said very specifically there that um this is a suite so it's a little bit different but i just wish that the comp i mean i wish for you or if this were me i wish the comedy somehow would come first like because interesting i will again maybe this is based on like a sporting experience where you're um like you're outside in a lot of cases and you're kind of like maybe bundled up in this case and you're drinking some beers and eating hot dogs whatever like leaving that scene and then going to a place that's you know i know it's a comedy club club you're not you're not um it's not the it's not the ritz but um you know like now suddenly you have to switch over to like you know you well i guess i'd want to take a shower between the two at the very it just seems like a tough transition to go from like screw you know i ideally like screaming and yelling and rooting on your team and getting a little sweaty and drunk and then and then down shifting to now let's go to a place where we will watch comedy for a while yeah that's a good

point i hadn't thought of that i've been already trying to manage the expectations like because becca was like well we keep getting invited these things and i was like well do we have if we agree to go do we are we obligated and she's like no so i said well then let's why not avail ourselves of the offers but with the possibility that we might not do everything and she was like yeah totally that sounds like the plan and so then i've been saying like quite a day tomorrow i don't know if we're gonna make it through everything and then she's saying things like i have faith in us which means i'm like starting to be like yeah i'll probably bail out about midway through the soccer game go home and take a nap or something she's like oh this is gonna be a fun day with

lots of different things happening so now is mickey on so there are like three comedians that i get confused so she did the show with sarah schaefer i remember meeting sarah schaefer at your house i didn't know who she was at the time but i remember thinking she was super cool and funny and she was on the show was she on tb tale with nikki or was sarah was she in a relationship with somebody else who was also on the show or am i confusing yes andy and his ex no you're you're

in the neighborhood you're like me talking about the movies smoke and blue in the face you were

right about paul oster writing both of those i didn't know he did screenplays that's interesting

You're generally in the neighborhood. So the deal was we actually like so, you know, Andy Haynes is a friend of our show. And Andy used to do a lot of collaboration with a guy named Scott Moran. Scott Moran was one of the founders of the People's Republic of Comedy. And he's gone on to be a very successful director of comedy specials. specials he made this scott made this really incredible um kind of documentary series called modern comedian where he would just go hang out with a comedian and kind of document them and their process the the the finished products would probably be like you know 15 20 minutes they're just really really good i would recommend you go check those out anyway it happened to be that scott was dating sarah schaefer and uh and i believe sarah was like performing at the underground or something and so they were out i think maybe we had them on tbtl or something and then we were all hanging afterwards and what was interesting was while we were all hanging out that day she got a call from her agent saying mtv had greenlit right right her show that was her and

nikki glazer so that's right right that's where that association comes from now let me ask you this and this is i mean if it was ever interesting to the listener i will take it that next step just one one step further away from interesting um we still have a story about someone breastfeeding

their cat so there's still a little sizzle left

in this here hang in there here's my last question on this day is this all it was this also the day that Mike Arnold kind of my old boss and current friend kind of crashed TBTL I know that we did an episode of TBTL at your house where we had guests on the mic I feel like and also Mike Arnold happened to be in town so he he was kind of in the room and we would reference him every now and then but he didn't have a mic do you remember that happening I do I

I have the faintest of memory of that happening, and I couldn't tell you if this was that day or not. Okay. Anyway, just curious. I could. Now that I know Scott Moran's name and Sarah Schaefer, I could go back and listen.

But, boy, that sounds like work. That's how you're going to spend your Saturday while I'm gallivanting across Portland. Do you have anything big going on this weekend?

No, I do not. No. Which is nice for you, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was going to bring this up. Things are getting a little hairy with my kitty.

Oh, I'm sorry, man. Is it That's the kind of thing Probably you would rather Not talk about I guess Yeah Yeah gotcha I think I'm becoming A little bit more like you In that And this is what I was talking about With the schedule for tomorrow And how I'm trying to go like I don't know If we're gonna get through all this And maybe it's just because I've started traveling again for work But there was definitely A time in my life Where having a weekend Full of fun activities Yeah Sounded really fun to me

Especially involving like suites And you know what I mean Yeah like it's

I mean these are all like it's not like hey we have to go to my boss's child's christening or something you know where it's just like oh cool a social engagement with people i don't know around a thing i'm not particularly interested in i.e this kid's eternal soul um but like these are all fun things but yeah there was a time there would have been a time where knowing that i had like oh i'm gonna go to this soccer match and be in this suite and then i'm gonna go see this funny comedian i'm gonna you know that would all be just kind of like it would just seem super fun to me and i mean it does sound fun but were i to also just have a weekend with nothing on the schedule yeah i uh that's that is increasingly appealing to me and that is a relatively new development in my life at age 45

yeah also like sun like you know i think about this is kind of different too but like this is on such a tangent but it's also like this this our foot our football sundays have been so imbued with sadness the past few weeks as both Seahawks and Browns fans um and that's including the Browns win a couple of weeks ago that like even Sunday like I made sure that I didn't have any responsibilities so I can watch the Seahawks and like somehow that doesn't even that sounds weird but like I'm going to watch it of course but it's kind of like I'm not even looking forward to it the way I usually would right it's kind of like well I've got it on the schedule because we have to do this but like it doesn't like bring me that like kind of like all right Sunday I'm going to go get a bunch of takeout maybe i should do this like gear up for it more and again maybe i'm just sad because of external circumstances but like i don't know like it was just two months ago that i was like all right football days tomorrow go to the store buy all the frozen pizzas buy all the ultimate mics nope wild buy all the wild mics ultimate pizzas uh stack up the freezer just make it a football sunday well the browns aren't even playing tomorrow and the seahawks are just have been limping along so long that it's like it's weird like i just kind of have this weird um well again i think i have a pit in my stomach because of theo but like i just uh it's just it it's just like something on the calendar that's lingering there that doesn't like that i'm not necessarily like joyous about right and i i keep going back and forth on that

uh with the seahawks having a tough season and not you know really having any realistic shot at the playoffs or whatever i've like it's radically changed my sunday thoughts like even last week was monday night and i i had a really busy day i was trying to get ready to get out of town and and becca said something in passing in a text about the seahawks game and i was like and it was like 4 30 and i had forgotten that the seahawks were playing that night now you know you you skip back two seasons or even one season and the seahawks are playing on monday night football it's literally the only thing about that day that i can think about it's like everything else is just getting through it so that i can then watch that game and i did end up watching it but it was like in the same thing like i don't even know i know they got flexed out of sunday night uh they were i don't even really know when they're playing i know they're playing san francisco i i'll if i'm near a tv i'll watch it if anything more more pressing comes up i i sort of won't which is kind of liberating you know and that's why i say go back and forth because it's really fun if you're a football fan it's really fun to have a team that's competitive and that you get to kind of like have this big emotion this giant like emotional experience every sunday with like how they're doing and on those days when they win if they win in a exciting fashion you just like you're high off of it all day and you're just watching all of the replay shows just to catch that glimpse of when you see russell wilson do that thing but it's also like really liberating for me right now to not have that be how my sunday is oriented yeah you know i'm thinking about um

And, you know, in a few weeks now, Vives and I are going to be heading to Hawaii for a vacation over the holidays.

And you intentionally went to a different island than me. That hurts.

We had to rearrange things when we found out that you were coming. But, you know, I guess just to bring it back to football, my point is that I don't want to come off as if it matters, as if it matters one iota. But I don't want to come off. as like kind of a front runner fan, like, oh, now the Seahawks aren't always going to playoffs. I'm less interested. That's not really the case. And that's not really the point. Again, I was just sort of like thinking about that. You know, I watched the game this Sunday, but I'm just thinking about the last time we were in Hawaii. Maybe it wasn't the last time, but the last time we were kind of going to this kind of condo area that I have this very vivid memory of waking up super early i think to watch the browns final game of the season which they did not win um i'm trying to remember the receiver the ball went through his hands and that ended their season and they were officially winless so like i was waking up duke johnson no he was a running back it's um i thought it was a running okay i'll think of it when my brain isn't spinning a million directions it's like um there's an o in there i think anyway um but i just like the thing is like i woke up super early i believe on uh on my vacation in hawaii to illegally stream a browns game so that i could watch them go winless for a season or like well i watched it hoping that they wouldn't go winless for a season so like you know i stick i definitely stick with it and there's still some joy there but yeah there's something there's something about this sunday that just sort of feels like i don't know it's not the end of the season it's not it's just like this i don't know like second half of the season doldrum sort of blah game well this is i

we we should move on too because this is not the no point although who knows maybe we'll declare this the no point and then we don't have to do one on monday but um i actually think that i admire that your interest in sports i'm not a fairweather fan in the sense that i i've watched i probably watched every single Seahawks game that's happened for the last 30 years even in years when they were two and 14 so I always watch them I'm always aware of what's going on I never am like forget it I'm not even going to watch these games but I definitely my my interest level just plummets precipitously when they're bad and I think because of being a Cleveland fan you have developed this ability which I actually really admire to just like enjoy the game for what it is not what the larger implications are you know you whether it's watching the browns when they're having a really tough season or the mariners maybe if they're underperforming or whatever and uh that's actually i think that's a good way to do it because for me it's very outcome outcomes based or or focused on that it's like oh you're out of the playoffs well who cares again i'll still watch the game but i'll watch it with this kind of like detachment that's you know i don't know makes me i guess a

version of a fairweather fan let me let me do this really quickly i have something exciting oh here You know what? This is going to be a whole production here. I'm going to ask you to queue up. Do you have sad horns available? Always. Okay, we're going to start with this, though. On fourth and two, with one minute, 46 seconds left, Browns receiver Corey Coleman dropped a pass. Oh, Corey Coleman. dropped a pass from Deshaun Kaiser at the Steelers' 11-yard line to end any hopes Cleveland had of winning their first game. I can remember that exact play.

It just went through his hands, right? It was a short little pass out to the flat. He was over by the sideline. I think it was fourth and whatever, and he had it. It wasn't even like, and he just dropped it, basically. And it was just like that. just and he was just sitting i feel like my memory is he was just sitting on the grass just dejected and i was like boy that is a that's a real snapshot of this season all right uh i'm i'm i'm trying to figure out what the what the next move is here we've got these rants and rage it just sort of i'm just i feel like i've lost my i've lost my steam on both of these top stories I will just tell you about the woman who was apparently breastfeeding her cat. This was a story that listener Paul sent along. So thank you very much. A Delta flight crew was on a plane that was flying from from Syracuse down to Atlanta. And there is apparently a communication system that the crew can use from the plane down to the ground. That's like just basically only for the airline. And this is how this came to people's attention, because somebody tweeted out a screen cap of this of this message that just said, a require red coat meat AC. Pax in 13A is breastfeeding a cat and will not put cat back in its carrier when F.A. requested. That was the message sent from the sky. Oh, my God. And I guess the story goes.

that this, a passenger had brought her, and I don't know why this detail adds to it, but it was a hairless cat. That does add to it. The account from the flight crew was that this passenger had a hairless cat swaddled so that it looked like a baby, like wrapped up in blankets, and was trying to breast, trying to get the cat to latch. And the cat was not interested, actually, and was freaking out and this was causing a this was causing a commotion in the cabin is there any details about why that's my question why would everybody want to do that uh we were we're sort of the details are limited i've given you most of them again the reason that we know that this some version of this happened is because again it's in that official communication that communique if you will from the sky down to the ground otherwise i mean look i listener paul sent this in from the daily mail it could have definitely been a rumor that got out of control if it weren't for that that evidence that photo of this of this messaging but the but yeah the the details that's most of them it doesn't actually say if the passenger i don't think it was a thing where the passenger was the red coats are not the police so it wasn't like the the things that we're seeing all the time now online of people being carried off of airplanes and you know zip ties because they won't mask up or whatever this seemed like it was annoying to folks and weird but not something where this person is now on a no-fly list or was actually being removed you know by law enforcement it sounds like something was going on with this person and this cat i mean i i was i was wondering if this has ever worked for this person in other words yeah is like has this cat ever ever actually you know breastfed from this person and is that why this person was going to this because they were trying to calm down the cat or something like this something or was this the first time they'd ever tried it these are the questions exactly we don't have answers to these questions we can only speculate i assume she's a black rifle coffee fan um what are some other wild guesses i can make she probably drives a truck

she probably backs it in um 100 i wonder if i mean that's the thing about this um is like oh god and maybe it's just my mood but like there's something kind of more sad about this than funny to me not to totally bring the room down but it's just like i don't know it's just like whoever is doing this is not of sound mind in some way and it kind of just kind of unless i'm wrong unless i have a different take on this but like um and so that does make me wonder and i'm wondering if this is somebody who was maybe going through something and then maybe hasn't done this before, but then had some sort of a freak out on the plane thinking that their cat wasn't eating on the plane or something. I don't know. It's just so strange.

But again, it's all conjecture for me. You think it sounds like possibly somebody dealing with a mental health crisis?

Well, honestly, what is the other option?

An unorthodox form of feeding your cat? I just sort of feel like you can't do that and be of sound mind it definitely raises some real questions the thing the swaddling is what well i mean the whole thing is the whole thing is pretty extreme behavior i'm also wondering if i was a cat would this be like would you be pretty stoked as a i mean i grew up you know i'm one of seven kids there was almost always a child nursing from my mom throughout my entire childhood there was always and it was the one thing that would always calm a kid down you know like so no matter like if there's somebody was having a meltdown uh or baby you know one of the one of the babies was freaking out it'd be like my mom would start nursing them and then they would just be like calm down and then they would just like pass out from being like milk drunk um so you wonder if a cat like obviously you know what i was just about to say though this is so funny i was gonna say well obviously we don't drink the milk of other species as humans because we're above that and then i realized no actually we very much do right we we really do so if we do that if we're drinking cow's milk and goat's milk and other things like that i wonder if a cat would naturally be put off of human breast milk or if it would just be like you know a milk source to them yeah well and also

like how it's how it's offered to the cat though is in play here as well right like a bowl of of human milk potentially but honestly um i don't like the sentences that are coming out of my mouth so i'm going to change the subject and say you don't like saying a bowl of human breast milk

i'm looking to see how that could ever come back to haunt you on this program looking at this daily

mail article i just love how they so they have one image that can go along with it which is this like this photo of this message that was sent but then they just like Thank you.

feel like then there's a picture of a hairless cat it's not the hairless cat it's just a hairless cat just glowering at the at the camera and i'm just kind of like why'd you pick this and then

a photo of a delta jet yeah not the delta jet but in case you're unfamiliar with what a delta jet

looks like well here it is exactly right like and it's like this big block of photos like what is the point of those two other photos like we know what hairless cats and delta jets look like and

And then I think I have to have a begrudging respect for the person who wrote this piece for the Daily Mail, whose name appears to be Snohana Farberov. Basically, what happened was they got a screen cap of this cat breastfeeding SOS coming from the sky. And then they just pretty much. I didn't manufacture it as in like they're making it up, but they just they sort of just they go to the Delta website about what the pet policy is. they're just grabbing anything that could even seem like it's remotely related to this topic so that you have what feels like an article when really what it is is a one one message from the flight crew to the ground about a thing that may have been happening that sounds like it was pretty unusual and then they had to just go in and like fill the rest out with just all kinds of general information that they could compile so if you read it you were like yeah i read this article about that thing it's like no really what you saw was a screen cap of this one message and then a bunch

a filler yeah you know and i'm not on the daily mails website all that often i feel like i used to be on it more when i was like working with john curly because i just remember like it just sort of seems like kind of a i don't know like it's definitely like always talk show fodder but also kind of a certain kind of talk show fodder and well as i was as i was saying to our friend

bean the other day on whatsapp i feel like my phone gets herpes every time i go on the daily mails website it has got so many pop-up ads it's so tabloidy and trashy and who has lost weight or gained weight who's looking good on the beach in their bikini i mean it's just all that stuff and

what i mostly remember about the daily mail from when i needed it more was that it's the worst website to ever try to print from um even with the handy dandy apps that make it easier but here's my point without looking unless you've already looked so you were talking about how this article it's like they're just like they have like a tiny little tiny little piece of sand of information but they're like really trying to stretch it out into a full piece but how many comments do you think are on this article i what is the upper limit actually oh my gosh the upper limit so you're telling me it's high well i think it's high but maybe maybe i'm just way out of touch here with the habits the daily habits of the daily mail readers Is it 500? It is 895 comments on this. Now, a minute ago, because I've been updating it, the newest comment was posted 57 minutes ago. Somebody wrote, what a cat-tastrophe. That was a manual. Good job, a manual. Just moments ago, since I've been watching it, somebody who goes by Cut the Cord in Pittsburgh says, nasty teeth on a cat.

You know, I didn't look at the comments or how many there were, but I did, as I was scrolling to the end of the piece, as I was printing it out, Andrew, it was asking me, the Daily Mail was asking me to, like, sign in with my account, which I don't have, to, like, post a comment or something. And I did have the thought, I bet you the comments on this are real gold. I saw this.

Somebody says, so she whipped out her catnip.

Oh, that's dirty. That's dirty. A little bit of the tip of the cap on that one. Somebody put out – somebody put, I think, on Facebook a picture of a pie that they had gotten from Sherry's. You know, Sherry's is the kind of the – I think they're sort of known for their pies, but they also have just regular, like, you know, food like you get at Denny's or Perkins or whatever. But I think that, like, Sherry's pies, that's kind of like one of their big whatever. And this woman had gotten, I think, like a pumpkin pie or something from Sherry's. And then I think it's what I pieced together was the idea is you get the pie from them, but then you cook it the rest of the way or you kind of finish it off so that it's like fresh baked when you take it out of the oven. Sure. And this woman had clearly like overcooked the pie to a degree where it was just black charcoal on top of it. And then she had posted a picture that said, thanks, Sherry's, for ruining Thanksgiving. And the people who were going after her, they were so ruthless, but it was kind of great. I mean, you know, the Internet mob is a pretty ugly thing. And like, I've never been fully in the crosshairs of it, but it doesn't seem like a fun place. But people were like, yeah, I forget. Let's just, you know, whatever. Let's say the lady's name was Gwen or something. Yeah, Gwen. The instructions say to warm the pie, not yeet it into the.

the sun just like and then just like this whole thanks sherry's like person like gets laid off from work thanks sherry's for ruining thanksgiving like the i have to say this was if there is if the if this there is the internet mob at its finest or at least at its funniest it definitely seemed to be the internet taking on this lady who said sherry's ruined her thanksgiving well

do you know um my latest example of the internet mob really putting something in their um crosshairs Were you following this Kid Rock thing at all Like a week or two ago

His video where he's on a middle finger shooting a gun He's it's just like yeah It's like rap He parks his truck backwards

It's like rap country that is like It is like The Onion wrote it In fact Weird Al Yankovic actually tweeted out Hey everybody thanks for the Thanks for the Kind thoughts but that's not me That's actually Kid Rock doing a song Or thanks for the kind words about my Kid Rock parody But it's not a parody that's actually Kid Rock Like every, it was one of those things where it's just, it is like just a bunch of MAGA bumper stickers that rhyme that he's screaming at us. I mean, this is Black Rifle Coffee to the, you know, to the hilt. So anyway, and then of course the best thing about this though was the YouTube comments were just gold from start to finish. I won't read them all here, but that was one of those moments where it's kind of like, well, I guess there's a little sliver of light here.

Right, because at some point he gets on a middle finger, a rocket that's shaped like a middle finger, and he starts flying up to space while he's shooting a gun off of the – he's on the outside of this middle finger rocket and firing a gun, right, or something like that, holding a gun?

There is a middle finger rocket of some sort. I didn't think – I'm going back and watching it now. Most of it is him just kind of in – oh, he's with somebody called Monster Shruck, by the way. That's the guy who sings on the track. I won't play it only – I mean, it's so funny. I kind of want to but I also just don't I also don't want to get into this world But yeah there is a middle finger At the end in the desert I didn't realize it was A rocket I'm looking at it now it's Confusing I mean it's a level of art that Is a little bit over my head I'll Be honest with you and I'm probably not smart enough

To understand it. The fact that it gets a response though from you Means it's working I mean that's what great art Should do. Exactly. It should Yeah I had mixed feelings About that too because when I saw everybody like dunking On him I thought yeah But he doesn't care like we just we're just forced to talk about kid rock for a day and in the demented universe that we now live in get like people rightfully pointing out the ridiculousness of something that a kid rock does is seen as evidence that he's quote owning the libs so it's a very very complicated thing because because you could have the funniest dunk on him and to him and his his followers it just proves that they're quote-unquote getting to us right and so there's kind of no winning it's i mean i guess the way to win is to just sort of ignore it or something yeah but yeah no it's very frustrating because it's it's it just feels like just there's no gravity anymore sometimes you

know yes i know exactly what you're saying i won't belabor it because i don't i can't put it any better weird week for me to pick kid rock as my music but i did is it or is it perfect but this is you're gonna play an old like a classic kid rock oh yeah some with joe c on it bah with a

probably or some early some early rob richie i mean whatever that's the other that's the other thing about him that just makes me so crazy is that he's from like i think he's from gross point he's from a very very wealthy section of a very wealthy suburb of detroit and grew up extremely privileged so the the embrace of all this hick hop and like i'm a beer drinking maniac Mr. I'm one of the people It's just so invented That it makes me extra crazy Or it's an argument for nature not nurture He was always He was Kid Rock even when his parents Were trying to raise Rob Ritchie Exactly What Kid Rock song did you pick For your music for your weekend?

I have a song This is a bit of a mystery for me Because I think I told you before the show I'm like oh I forgot about music for your weekend And I didn't have anything lined up But I just, you know, I kind of have this ongoing playlist where I'll add things. And there is a song that I've added to this playlist in the past couple of weeks that I think I like. I have no idea what this song is or how it hit my radar. I'm thinking that a listener might have even sent this in at one point. I'm sorry, I'm not crediting you properly. Or maybe this was an algorithm shuffle. I have no idea. but this is a song from 2018 and again i don't think we played it on the show recently because i just kind of did a search of my newsletters um by somebody who goes by no name i assume or or it could be naname i don't know n-o-n-a-m-e and the name of the song is self does this ring any

Are you sure it's not lax it? Yeah.

I think it's – but anyway, does this – any of this – we haven't talked about this on the show recently, right? I'm sorry. This is ridiculous. I am going to blindly hit go on this song. I am going to assume that it's appropriate for TBTL. I don't even remember what genre this is. I'm about to play, Luke, but this is –

Wait, is it – oh, okay, because I was going to try to look it up by genre, like no-name rapper or no-name, you know, whatever. But that won't even help us.

It's by far their most played song. It's a short song. It only does a minute and a half. But I just don't know why There is a rapper named No Name Yeah, I think this is probably rap Okay, let's take a listen to this This is called Self by No Name I don't know what it is

Maybe this an album you listen to in your car When you driving home late at night Really questioning every God Religion, Kanye bitches Maybe this is an entrance before you get to the river Ahead in the flood the heath And no reason for you to like me Maybe this your wifey just went in the clean divorce The baby ain't really yours It's really for babies teething and chicken wings under season Y'all really thought a bitch couldn't rap, huh? Maybe this your answer for that A cracker with a Reagan administration That's the kids are still scared of No, actually, this is for me This one for T.T. at the lake, surrender, mac, and the cheese. This one a small apology for all the calls that I scream. Mr. Money Man, Mr. Everyday, he got me. Mr. Wiping Me Down, Mr. Mila, Mr. Miyagi. Miscellaneous, Mr. Molly, it's Imaasaki. Incredible, incredible emptiness in my body. Heaven's only four feet tall, I set my ringer to it. Your rapper, homie, now his ass is making better music. I'll clean some of that up in post

But I generally like it Dude the vibe Is immaculate I like that The song ends just a couple of seconds later That must have been a late night edition For me I can totally grab that and throw it into the playlist That's very much

I feel like you and I are both really driven by Whatever that sort of just piano little like loop is going behind it it feels very much like a kind of a thing anderson pock might do or like just if you have a good loop behind a song and then also her rapping is actually really smooth too and um i feel like that's yeah i could uh i'm totally into that song um i uh wanted to play a song by leon bridges i think the listeners are probably somewhat familiar with leon bridges He's kind of blown up in the last few years. He put out this album along with Krongbin, longtime TBTL favorite, Krongbin, Texas Sun. This is actually a song from before that. I was just like somewhere having, I don't know what, like dinner or something, and I heard this song, and I was like, is this an old, is this like a soul song that I just didn't know about from the day? And so then I did the thing that I always like to embarrass people I'm out with, which is put Shazam on my phone and then held my phone aloft above my head like a weirdo trying to figure out what the song is. And it turned out it was this song called Better Man by Leon Bridges. The song's actually like five years old, but I really like it a lot. It's real good. So can we take a little listen to that? Leon Bridges, Better Man.

I just want to be a better man To my baby Give me your heart, good love I was looking with them Jezebels Under perfume sheets Got a golden smile Heart overflowing Recognizing love But it wasn't enough What can I do, what can I do To get back to your heart I'd swim the Mississippi River If you would give me another start, girl

All right, so there you go. The Leon Bridges. That is so good. I know you've... I'm going to admit something here. Okay. Embarrassing to me. I know you've played Leon Bridges for me before, and every time I hear it, I'm amazed at how good it is. I love this. I love the production on it. And here's the deal. When I hear the name Leon Bridges, Luke, you know how I—

You think of Leon Redbone?

Right. No, you know how I embarrassingly on this show at one point realized that John Legend and John Mayer are different people. But in my head, I always conflated them. And that's like a pretty disparate thing to conflate a disparate thing to conflate. That'll be the name of my first book. But you know what? Leon Bridges, for some reason, that name for me always evokes more of a like an like I always think of like a Kurt Weill kind of. thing or who's Waxahachie's partner Kevin Morby Kevin Morby I always like group Leon Bridges in with those types of musicians and I always forget that it's like this awesome soul music this is so

well it is good but you know where you're not totally wrong is I believe the conversation where you learned that John Legend and John Mayer were not the same people was because I was playing a John Legend song that had a very old old feel to it like from the maybe you know 60s and it was the exact same story which was i had been in a restaurant i had heard a song and i was like how did this amazing soul song escape my radar all these years and then i uh shazam'd it and it was john legend oh really oh yeah so you're not like totally losing your mind to having that thought around the leon bridges because basically the same thing happened in both cases i heard a song it was sounded very much like from a different era and then i was like huh how would i not know about this and then it was something more modern that was being recorded to kind of evoke that old

I don't understand though why I'm grouping him in With Kurt Vile And Kevin Morby I don't know what I'm doing there

This song I'm not

I love that you don't want me to be wrong You will come to my defense Well I just don't think

You're totally off about this Because Leon Bridges has done a lot of things And collaborated with a lot of people Now I don't think he plays the exact same kind of music Kurt Vile does but he's not like a thousand miles away from it necessarily i mean he's uh you know i mean he's done a lot of things over the years so it's possible that they were on the same bill somewhere or yeah that there's some kind of uh connection there that is why your brain was starting to i just listened to a very interesting episode of 99 invisible where they talked about um the development of the alphabet and about how you know it was not always the case that we organize things alphabetically in fact you know for a long time that was not how things were organized there was a whole hierarchy so if you were writing an encyclopedia back in the day like in like you know 900 years ago it would be the the things would be ordered in terms of how important they were seen to be but the problem was you needed to know the reason the alphabet was was useful was because you didn't have to have any knowledge of the subject that you were dealing with you just had to know the alphabet in order to find your way around these books and thing so that's why it eventually sort of took off but they had this um uh this kind of expert on the history of the alphabet and language and she was talking about the ways that our brains organize information and she said you know try to try to name the days of the week alphabetically

andrew just want me to do this right now try to name so you just want to hear me work it out then

well or or just think about it and think about here's i was listening to this on my jog today And I was like, I started with Tuesday.

No, it'd be Friday, right? There you go. Okay. That's good. Monday? It's so hard, right? But it is, yeah. I think it's Friday, Monday, Thursday. No, no. Friday, Monday, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday, Wednesday. Nice. That's very good.

And that's actually really fast. It's faster than Roman Mars did it.

Ha ha. Suck it, Mars.

Take that. our show is going to be called 1% visible. It's just Andrew alphabetizing things. Oh my God. I was born for that. But the point there was we think of the days of the week in the order that they exist. We don't think of them alphabetically. I think of them as being basically a left to right. If I imagine the week, Monday is almost all the way over to the left, you know, and Friday is way over to the right. It basically goes, well, Andrew, it's like looking at a calendar. I don't know if you've ever seen a calendar.

Yeah, I know. Exactly. It's like because we're just describing the calendar. Of course, I guess Sunday is all the way to the left, and that's one of those things I feel like when you're a kid. Oh, to the right for me. Sunday is at the far right. See, that's the thing. But the official calendar, if you look at a calendar, the weeks obviously begin with Sunday. Sunday is the first day of the week. But you're right. Like the way – like I feel like as a kid, you'd always think, well, Monday should be all the way to the left, but that's not actually the case. Yeah.

So I guess that was just me on the subject of how our brains organize information and keep track of things. And that 99% invisible was quite interesting. Also, this expert they talked to really, really loathes.

reason um the uh the invent the inventor of the dewey decimal system melville dewey because of a bunch of things i mean first of all the we have a lot of folks that are librarians and work in the library sciences so i'd actually be kind of curious to get their thoughts on this but one issue she has with the dewey decimal system is just that it is essentially hierarchical it's not alphabetized And it prioritizes like Christianity and deprioritizes women and or at least historically has, you know, because this guy, this guy who was a terrible human Melville Dewey came up with the system. So he's going to set it up in the way that makes the most sense to him. So like the original version, the Christian stuff had like a whole massive swath of the Dewey Decimal System. Islam had one position, like had one thing, you know, stuff like that. And then also he just was a bad dude in real life as well, including they basically they fired him from all of his jobs for his not to end the show on a weird note. But like his behavior towards women got him fired from his jobs, which in the like eighteen hundreds, imagine how flipping bad you had to be. I was going to say that. I mean, what? I mean, wow. I mean, we can't even get that shit done in twenty twenty one. This was happening in this guy's day, so the mind reels. He was still nominated for a Grammy Award that year, though, I hear. He did, yes, in spoken word category. All right, so I guess we're now at the point where we're going to play the listener suggestion, which is a Christmas song that I was unfamiliar with, which I really like. It's also kind of got some soulful notes going on. It's by Black Pumas, and it's called Christmas Will Really Be Christmas, suggested by listener Ann. This is our friend Anne, the yarn maven of Ellensburg and the resident of Roslyn, Washington, who followed up after we had our whole conversation about northern exposure and the brick. She said she worked for the Postal Service in Roslyn and across the street from where this iconic mural is. And she used to, you know, end up out there taking pictures of people who wanted their picture in front of it. This mural that's the beginning of the Northern Exposure credits. But she said also, currently the brick is covered in anti-mask signs. So she said, you know, just take it all with kind of a grain of whatever that is. So Anne is the one suggesting this Christmas will really be Christmas by Black Pumas. So I thought that's how we would go out today.

Looks like this is a new song for whatever that's worth. Unless I'm misreading this. It looks like this was a 2020 Christmas song. So that's kind of cool.

And I'm always, you know, looking for new songs to introduce to the Christmas catalog because it feels like it's a fairly short list sometimes. So maybe folks will like this and they can add it. So thanks, Anne, for sending this in. Thank you to all of you for listening to the show this week. We really do appreciate it. We're going to be back here next week with more Imaginary Radio for you. So please join us for that. Until then, have a great Friday. Have a great weekend. Be safe. Go Seahawks. Go Bengals. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

When people can live with each other When peace on earth has come to stay Christmas will really be Christmas With the whole world in a better way When parts of fear will join Instead of worrying, worrying and fear That's when the words Merry Christmas Will be so much more sincere Come on Say Christmas ain't Christmas

My dream is to sail around the world on a catamaran with two members of every cat race and share my love with cats for all the humans to see around the world. Power out.