Muse

Anger is like flatulence, isn't it? Insofar as it's far better to let it out in increments than to let go with one humongous rattle.

Oh, well, yes, yeah, inasmuch as losing your temper is about transferring that anger to those closest to you.

Well, you're farting in the face of the person you love, aren't you? If you ask the police, they will tell you that most murders are committed by a friend or relative of the victim. They take place at home, in the office, on public transport, in a jacuzzi. Are we still talking about murder? I hold my hands up. The last three examples were specifically farting.

TBTL! Hey, welcome to my show, everybody. I know you did pay $100, but here, here's $100 back to you.

I'll tell you another thing. Once you step inside this circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. Always.

For a number of years now, work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters.

You're hungry, you're confused, your face is streaked with dry tears, and you don't even remember when you started crying. Let's get to the jokes.

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. This is the beginning of a social engineering attack. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

You know, you gotta eat that microphone.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center, right here in Portland, Oregon. Come back, baby! Happy to be back in the Northwest, even though I am now battling a little bit of a cold, which had me having all kinds of wild thoughts last night which we may get into here on the show uh nice to be back home getting excited about the big show tonight at revolution hall here in portland live wire live if you're in the greater portland area or i mean you know if you can even just catch a flight by the time you hear this you might want to come by it's going to be fun Paul F. Tompkins, Demi Adige Ebay, Deep Sea Diver, me. It's going to be quite the night. You know what, though? This is going to be quite the show. We've got to do this first. We've got to do episode 3577 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

And our top stories include a story out of Bentonville, Arkansas, where something that was presented as a kind gesture, a large, large tip for a waitress. That cash could really get me out of a couple of jams Led to a series of events That just ruined her life The life of the restaurant where she was working I would say to some degree the people that were doing the tipping It was literally a major disaster Weird story out of Bentonville which we'll talk about also A judge is allowing the copyright case against Taylor Swift to go forward from some folks who say they wrote a song called Player's Gonna Play, but Taylor ripped off in her song Shake It Off. We have both songs. We'll do a little side-by-side comparison and talk about the thing I think really that Taylor Swift probably should be in some legal jeopardy over, which is not even what's being argued about in this particular case. Also, it's Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day. so we will do some blurs day messages sounds like we have a lot of them coming in because we are also about to go to a uh a little bit of a break for us not a break from the award-winning content though the tbtl winter games start on monday and we've already recorded a number of these and there are some real doozies in there some really really great content coming your way but anyway i think Lots of folks are trying to get their Blur's Day messages in early, so we will do that as well. We'll do all of it with the help of this young man, the handsome young stranger and longest co-bro of the show. He never misses the Sausage Fest. You zigged. I thought you were going to zag. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend. Hello, Luke.

Microphone wasn't on there for a second, but everything's fine.

How is it that people are writing me just emails to me because they're upset because I didn't do enough to stand up for Barbara Kruger, who I had not heard of? I literally had not heard of this person until you started talking about this artist on the show. And that's fine. And I said, listen, I don't know anything about this art that you're not enjoying, Luke. I can't weigh in. All I can say is, you know, some of the things that you're saying is a little specious, but I haven't seen it. So who knows? Yet people are writing into me. Listener Katie wrote in a long email to me about how hurt she is about that conversation and about how I need to stand up for Barbara Kruger more.

Well, this confirms my theory that most of the things you do and don't do on the show, Andrew, is because you're afraid of getting hollered. Exactly. Precisely what happened here. You're getting hollered at something that you had nothing to do with. It was 100% me. You didn't say anything negative about the person, as you've already stated. I think you probably wisely just said, I don't have enough context for this, so I'm going to just leave you to it. I mean, it wasn't good co-hosting, but it was very diplomatic. I was being honest.

I was being as honest as I could possibly be in that situation.

The idea that the listeners would be mad at you about how you didn't do something, that's the worst possible outcome. Because you were absolutely, I thought you were being very measured, honest, and appropriate.

You're not even copied on this. It says, if it's not possible for me to stand up for Barbara Kruger, can you just stop talking about her on the show? I didn't. Katie, I didn't. Okay, I need to calm down.

But, Andrew, would you consider, just for like maybe, we're going to go, you know, do the winter games. So that'll be a little time for us to kind of rest, refresh, recharge. and you know just get ready for the new year for 2022 during our kind of our time off and everything would you consider when we come back not talking about barbara kruger i mean i will try this is

like if you if you read a book right and everybody knows i don't know how to read so i'm out of this it's like if you read a book that i had never heard of and then you came on the show and were telling me that you didn't like this book and then somebody else wrote in and they liked the book and they were upset with me for not defending the book i hadn't read anyway i don't want to i don't want to talk more about this i just happened to open this email right as you were introducing me i'm just like wait where they shouldn't have put where's the carbon copy of luke on this or the do they still call it carbon copy i guess in emails we could just call it cc anyway please everybody

like i you know yell at luke for goodness sake yes if i i'll just say this if you're um disappointed me or hurt about my comments about the art of barbara kruger please direct those emails to luke at tbtl.net i don't know how to log into the tbtl email anymore funny how you forgot that overnight actually this is very uninteresting but i was having a bunch of trouble trying to log into the system yesterday it was giving me this very odd thing asking me like do i want to allow this page to download something and it was this dot sro file which then started to want to like jump you know how when you it'll like jump up into the little download kind of square on the upper corner of your internet browser and then it'll just start working and do i was like no so then i was googling what does that mean and then websites were making it seem like it's a microsoft thing or something um so i was just like i am gonna leave this alone and then sure enough this morning when i went in everything was normal it had stopped doing that so i don't know if that was in fact you know the beginning of some kind of a you know this is the beginning of a social engineering attack i don't know what i was dealing with but it stopped happening and um anyway point is if you if you really really and truly if if you're upset about something that i said regarding that particular topic of that art that i saw in chicago that i didn't enjoy just email me please don't drag my

and i'm sorry like that's not i'm not i'm honestly not proud of coming in hot like that but like i was literally reading this as you were saying hello to me which is why my microphone was was muted and i'm just like wait what what i kept on thinking that this was sent to the wrong person Anyway what I was well I mean look

Quick just very quickly to sort of button That up if we can you are Someone who really Lives your life in such a way that you're You're trying to not hurt people's feelings You're trying to not inconvenience folks you really You put a lot of time and energy into Into kind of being on the right Side of various things and and treating People well so when you get hollered at Over something that you literally didn't even do I understand why that like For me if I got hollered at about something i didn't do i'd be like yeah but i probably did something else that's tolerable like okay it's like you know it's sort of like oj going to jail for trying to steal back his memorabilia it's like okay that wasn't cool but we're all thinking about some other stuff that went down so i i understand why it would be frustrating for you to to be hollered at over something that you really did not have anything to do with so i'm

sorry that happened no that's okay um i uh i you know what i was going to start the show with i was going to ask you something not because i mean obviously people do not like hearing about dreams on podcasts like i don't think there's any topic that people would like to hear less with the possible exception of garbage pickup schedule talk, but theoretically speaking, if one were to have a dream last night where they are trying to sleep on a giant structure made of sand, and that sand slowly erodes until they wake up and they realize the whole thing is almost totally eroded beneath them, so they just get rid of the whole thing, and then it turns out that that was their boss's favorite sand sculpture and they're now awaiting a phone call from their boss would that would that be a sign of a person who's in a good place in their life let me let me just so symbolic i think the boss thing was thrown on kind of after but it was just so symbolic i have this dream that i'm literally trying to sleep and get comfortable But the sand is eroding beneath me in this beloved structure. I feel like I don't know exactly what the symbology is there, but I feel like it's there.

Also, you are going to be going to Hawaii. That's true. Where there's, you know, sandy beaches. I wonder if that was kind of sort of, I don't know, a little bit part of the imagery there. I would say that that, you know, sounds like you're probably feeling a little anxious, Feeling a little unsteady But I also think that that's to be expected Right as we are about to You know Go into this break Because there's a lot to do in the next couple of days A lot to get done You because you do the bulk of the work On this program You know there's a lot of things That you have to set in motion That hopefully will occur Like shows posting Like while we're on vacation And stuff like that So there's some question marks Kind of out there Which I think could be adding to your anxiety Also, I mean, was this last night you had the dream? Was it like this early this morning?

Yeah, I was just really discombobulated this morning because honestly I woke up. I mean there were a million different parts of this dream, but that was a – and I plan on going over them in top stories. No, it was just like there was a whole bunch of stuff, and none of it was specific to anything in my life. I don't think it was actually a work dream. I think the fact that a boss – because it wasn't like a boss in real life, right? It was just some imaginary boss. I think that just had to do with maybe some sort of a reckoning. I don't think it was actually a work dream in any way. I don't know. It just seemed like such an obvious stress dream that I'm just trying to get comfortable and I can't and things are eroding beneath me. I've also been biting my tongue like crazy in my sleep. Have you done it? I can tell from the noises you're making you have. Is there a worse way to wake up than just startling yourself by chomping down on your tongue? Are you on your back or on your side when this happens?

I think I'm on my side. I'm mostly a side sleeper. That's what happens to me sometimes is I'll be on my side and my mouth will be slightly open. And then my tongue, I believe, will start to just kind of, you know, were I a dog, it's kind of cute when a dog will fall asleep and their tongue kind of slides out of their mouth. It's less cute in middle-aged dudes. I tell all my 45-year-olds this. Don't do that on a date. So my tongue will then kind of slide in between my upper and lower teeth, and then at some point, for whatever reason, I then start to close my mouth, and I then bite down on my tongue, and it is a very unpleasant experience.

Yeah, it is not a great way to wake up. I told my – it wasn't my dentist, but my – what do you call the person who cleans your teeth? The hygienist. A hygienist? Yeah, and I was telling my hygienist, because I said, this is a couple of weeks ago, he was cleaning my teeth, and I said, oh, you know, also, I have a sore on my tongue that doesn't seem to want to go away, and I've had some scares in the past. Could you take a look at that and make sure that everything's okay? He said, oh, yeah, just like you have a cut here. I'm like, yeah, it won't go away. He's like, yeah, you're probably biting it in your sleeve. I said, yeah, I think that's what's happening. He's like, and you just keep doing it over and over. I'm like, yeah, I think that's probably what's happening. He said, if it doesn't go away after a while, think about getting a mouth guard, which I'm, you know, I know a lot of people do that. I kind of am loathe to do it. I think most people are, but I'm sure if I started doing it, it would be fine. I just, I don't know. I don't want to get a mouth guard.

I need to get one for my apnea. You're going to get the mouth thing, though, not the whole rig. I'm trying to forestall the inevitable CPAPification of my life by exercising. And also, yeah, there are folks have emailed in about these certain mouth. You actually have to go to the dentist or maybe even be.

orthodontist i don't you have to they're sort of like a prescription mouth guard they make them custom for you and it just kind of causes you to when you wear it i guess do something with your with your jaw that makes it so that your airway stays open a little bit better i need to do uh i need to do that you know this this whole conversation andrew does not make us sound youthful or relevant but you know what is youthful and relevant going to a rock show which is something you did last night you went and saw pd usa yeah he has this great song

all about trying to sleep on sandcastles and they erode as you sleep. And then I went to bed and had that dream. I can't see any connection. Our friend Hauser, a.k.a. J-Dog. How did you come up with that name again?

Because his first name is Jonathan. It's a thing. It's just one of those gifts that I have where it's like you'll say a name to me and I just will come up with, like, I don't know, give me another name at random. Just like maybe someone else. uh t-dog shit man you did it again i know i know it's weird it is i just i don't even it's just something flows through me oh man i'm able to yeah oh you know who i actually did see at the show is your buddy e-dog oh yeah evan the gunk holer yes i know my buddy evan he is on a um he's on a uh a sort of southern journey to see incredible shows and also live wire he uh he and his girlfriend stopped off in seattle last night to see pd and now they're coming down to portland tonight to see live wire where pd is also playing i'm basically going up against pd usa and i think we know who's gonna who's gonna win that battle internet sensation pd usa well you guys have a

stacked show tonight and you know me i'm not somebody who's always going out there um promoting live wire but i mean i know you have a hell of a lot of you i actually i tried to undermine it as much as possible um i assume your show sold out tonight live wire i think it's pretty close um

although i will say this you know the the live wire listeners are i think to their credit you they're a very cautious bunch and so you know obviously you have to prove that you're vaxxed you have to wear your mask the whole time it's you know all the sort of normal rules now but uh what i've noticed is we'll have like i'm not sure if we're sold out but we'll have people will sometimes buy tickets and then they may or may not show up because of i think just you know sure life wanting to be yeah life and also be extra careful like we i i feel like here's the list of crowds that will return sturgis that's sort of the top of the list those are the people they were back you know they were back when there was no vaccine they were unmasked they were creating super spreader events somewhere at the far other end of the spectrum are public radio listeners right it could be 2020 it could be 2027 and they're like i don't know i still i want to i want to wait and see but yeah i think we have a pretty good crowd coming out tonight the uh pd usa thing you posted something on instagram that looked packed yeah i'm sorry i'm not trying

to i'm not trying to avoid it so it was a really really awesome night as a matter of fact this is one of those things uh pd i saw that he was coming to town and of course you turned me on to his you know his tiktok videos what was it a year and a half two years ago now just as like these comedic videos and then you and I discovered that he started releasing these songs or maybe had been releasing songs that we didn't know about and just absolutely fell in love with them that song there's more to life than baseball I transformed my summer a couple of summers ago and then he just released a full length album you know I don't know earlier this year and I saw that he was touring to support it and it's one of those things it's just like Courtney Barnett I saw that Courtney Barnett was going to be in town this week I saw that I don't know six months ago as soon as people were announcing concerts again I was like oh I'd like to go to that but I know I won't I know I won't motivate to get the the concert tickets for a week for a weekday night every now and then I come through for myself on something like that but usually I don't um but I saw that Petey was coming and then by the time I even had the notion to look it up it was already sold out uh and then our friend J-Dog just amazing um contacted me said hey I actually got a couple of tickets are you interested in going and that's one of those things where man friends are important because last night was so great and I can't believe I would have just missed it and it was also just great to hang out with Hauser as well um and uh and one one thing I liked about it was there's something about Petey's music um and I'll I'm gonna play one of his songs for music for your weekend tomorrow um because there's still there's still a lot of gold that that we haven't played on the show like so much of his music like it's not it's It's not preachy in any way because I realize what I'm about to say might turn somebody off because it sounds like it's going to be like real message music. I don't think it's real message music, but it's so from the heart and so much about it is like friendship and like kind of rejecting like masculine norms. Like so many of his lyrics are about like crying. like there's a line like i won't swear here but like want to step outside mfer bet you never seen a grown man cry or something like hey mfer want to step outside bet you've never seen a grown man cry like so much of it is just about like being growing up and and having good male relationships where you're holding each other and crying like and it's just kind of like it is it is a different i don't know man i don't know if it's generational if it's just pediational or what it is but like it's great music um it made me it it was some it was somehow like life affirming last night was a great show and also i haven't been to like a rock show since where was it at the croc or something yes and that was the other thing oh the new crocodile crocodile el gaucho used to be and you know me i'm somebody who i mean maybe i'm changing a little bit but um for a long time I was seeing all of our favorite haunts in Seattle kind of, you know, go the way of the bulldozer.

So it could be turned into something different or nicer or, you know, mixed use, which intellectually, I know it's good. We need housing. But emotionally, it's sad to see some of these favorite spots in Seattle that have been around since, you know, the 90s or earlier kind of disappear. But I mean, I just think that the crocodile apparently is such a good example of how you can change and still make things better. Because, yeah, the old Crocodile, I don't know, that's probably redeveloped, right? They had to move out of there for some reason.

Well, it's actually, it's boarded up right now, but I'm sure it will be something eventually.

But this new venue is amazing. You know, they have a bigger footprint. They were able to, like, kind of build it in their vision from the ground up. We were in the small little club. I can't remember. All the different parts of the venue have their own little names now. But we're in this like kind of underground little club, you know, like classic. You go down the stairs and everything about it feels like a good lived in like rock venue or music venue. But it's also brand new. And you can just sort of tell like you look at the lights, such a weird detail to to like focus on. But I'm like watching the lights for a while, you know, on stage. And I realize, oh, those are all LED. Like how many concerts have I been to in my life in a small club like that? where probably the temperature in the room is probably 15 degrees hotter than it needs to be because of the old-style lights, you know? But, like, to be able to, like, build a club that feels like it's been there forever except everything is sort of new was a kind of fascinating experience. They did a really good job with it. I was very, as you can tell, I don't think I've ever spoken so excitedly about a music venue before.

Yeah, I'm really excited to check that out. I had read, I think, an article in The Stranger about, you know, about this move. that club the crocodile is legendary in seattle and so many uh bands you know have played their you know on their way sort of up the the popularity food chain and then they they redid the croc like actually the the thing that probably a lot of people thought of as the crocodile was actually a remodeled version of the crocodile oh yeah yeah i never saw the old old one yeah the old old one was just i mean there was a giant like support pillar right in the middle of where if you were trying to look at the stage and you were in like 30 of the club you just were kind of had obstructed view perfect like it was really from the olden days where there was just probably some you know some folks who were like well we can get this it's in bell town this is not a very desirable part of town uh in this moment and we'll just have shows in here then they remodeled it and then it was sort of it seemed fancy to me um but then yeah they moved to what used to be this steakhouse el gaucho uh which i have now this barbara kruger thing has me worried about criticizing anything but i'll just say el gaucho was a fine place i don't know if we have el gaucho stands i'm sure just email me if you loved el gaucho just email me if you if el gaucho is an important place in your life or family history email andrew yeah because i've literally never been there before So I'm the right person to take absolutely hated it. No, El Gaucho was fine. And I ate there, you know, a number of times and it was kind of a Seattle institution. But this is one of those things where it's way it's a way better use of that space for it to be the new crocodile than for it to just be another place where you can like smoke a cigar and eat a big old steak. Like that wasn't that didn't feel super special. Again, I don't know if you got proposed to it, El Gaucho. I don't know if something important happened for you. Don't don't get at me get at Andrew But but yeah no that's Like one of these few stories where it's like It seems like they're improving I mean they're they're they're upgrading What the space is being used for as Opposed to taking something classic Leveling it and then putting a Pure bar studio over it or Something and don't get at me if pure bar is The one kind of exercise that worked for you I'm sorry anything That I talk about on the show is important To someone and that Person is their feelings are hurt Oh, man. Anyway, it was a really, it was, yeah, it was a really great, it was a great night. I got to say, though, you know, it's a club that I think, I think the club capacity is like 300 people, so it was the first time, maybe I shouldn't even say this, it was the first time that I looked around and thought like, wow, I'm in a venue with a lot of people. You know, I mean, I've been in other kinds of situations. There's something just specifically about a bunch of people standing around in a dark venue kind of close together and dancing, you know what I mean?

And of course, we're all masked up. And that's part of the deal. And it's a younger crowd. Like there was nobody. You know, I'm sure that I'm sure the vaccination rate in that room was incredibly high. And everybody seemed very responsible. It's just like a good crowd. You know what I mean? A lot of Sturgis tattoos. So that was good. But yeah, so I'm sure that I'm, you know, I hope and I'm sure I'm safe. And if there if I I mean, I what I had a moment where I was like, oh, my God, man, if if I start to feel any kind of symptom before Hawaii Genevieve will leave me well she'll leave me for Hawaii yeah right no she'll join me and Becca yeah and broadcast Barry exactly so we'll start a new family over there I'll keep a close eye on that but I'm sure I'm fine like I said we were masked up and as you all know I'm boosted so well it's interesting you would you'd mention that because

if there is a place where they are not effing around with the vax checks yeah it is San Francisco where I just was like I mean I live in Portland and Portland is not messing around you know you go into a place they ask you to show your vax card etc but San Francisco it is an entirely different level I was trying to get so I was working from my hotel room yesterday and I had ordered some like ramen and they sent it with like just the silverware was not super great it was like you know disposable so I went down to where the the bar was to see if I could get them just give me like a real spoon and they have it all blocked off this is like in a you know huge hotel lobby they have stanchions and a sign that says please wait to be seated so you literally can't even enter the outer dining area and i went and so i'm standing like three feet away from the of course i'm very masked i'm standing three feet away from this stanchion finally somebody comes out and says what can i help you with and i said i was wondering if maybe i could have a spoon from the restaurant because i need a spoon and they made me show my vax card to bring me a spoon which i would much rather we err on the side of of of being careful about that stuff but there was not anywhere that i went including this swim club where it's largely an outdoor space it's you know it's the water the beach a dock a huge driveway a big garage doors that are open all the time even when i was technically inside i was standing in what was basically an outdoor space because at both ends it had all kinds of air circulation but if you stepped into what was technically the inside of this huge open garage where all these like boats are you know for like doing rowing exercises if you stepped in there you had to be masked which again is a good thing but i was really impressed with how how careful everyone seems to be and how seriously everyone's taking it in san francisco and it just made me think there is a way to from the top down and i guess i don't know if this is london breed the the mayor of san francisco or if this is gavin newsom or what but I didn't encounter one person in a kind of retail or food service position who wasn't asking me for my back stuff like the word has spread the word has gone down the chain so that everyone's in on it which I actually think was a pretty cool thing I'm just really said I was just

gonna say really quickly I just realized what a stupid thing I said before I said I'm sure the vax rate was high in the club I was in yes it was high they were checking those cards of course like I actually it's funny it's like such a part of life I'm showing my vax card all the time yet for some reason talk well whatever i think i'm just sort of bleary eyed today did i tell you i had a weird dream last night anyway yes of course we were all we were all vaxxed in that club

well um i i was you know i've been i have been traveling for work you know pretty regularly and i try to be super careful i i have a um an n95 mask that i wear if i'm ever going to be on a plane or in the airport and i'm boosted and all that stuff and also this everything i was filming And most of the interactions I was having with anyone the last couple of days were literally outside or literally in the water. Like it was. So imagine my mild panic when as I was walking to the lift last night, I just I noticed that I was feeling a little sniffly. I was starting to feel like I was kind of I was a little warm. Now, part of it was because I was all bundled up and I was kind of I was running a little bit late for my flight. So I was, like, hustling through this hotel, which, of course, is warm. You know what I mean? Like, they have the heat on. And I'm bundled up, like, for going outside now. And I've got this very thick jacket on.

And this is yesterday, right? Like, actually, don't forget, yesterday was the day that you woke up early and jumped into frigid waters. I mean, you had an incredible day. It was an incredibly long day that began with you doing something that you were very worried about, which is very stressful, and it involved physically jumping into water colder than you'd ever been in in your life. Like, this is a long day.

It was a pretty long day, and I think if I had been – if my brain had been a little bit less jangled by the whole events of the day, I would have been like, yeah, of course you don't feel totally normal right now, Burbs. You just you got up really early, like you said, did a whole bunch of things. We recorded some extra TV TL. We did the show with Jen. By the way, that was super fun. It really was. There was a you see Carl Gardner tweeting at us. Yes.

I want to talk to you about that offline.

What up, bro? I like I don't think I forget these things. The timeline on these things. I don't think he was the boss. the i don't think he was the like you know i don't know what the big boss i don't think he was the big boss when we got fired i could be wrong though i mean the person who directly told me we were fired was a guy named rod arquette aka the rod father this is when we had an actual nighttime radio show in seattle and it was funny because jen put a tweet out yesterday saying you know she had a fun time uh being on the show and uh and she said something like sitting in the guest chair and i think carl gardner just sniping from just a sniper shot from somewhere in like lake oswego oregon going more like co-founder's throne yeah more like reclaiming

your co-founding throne or something i was like i haven't talked to this guy since i saw him on don o'neill's back porch like smoking a brisket seven years ago now suddenly he's just like Sweeping in and just being like More like reclaiming the throne

I was just like You know if you felt that strongly About the show we could have been not fired 10 years ago That might not be fair And I actually love Carl Again if anything I'm very thirsty for Carl's Approval because I ran into him At a health club here in the greater Portland area and we traded numbers And we were supposed to hang and he's never Called me But yeah he's tweeted he's tweeted at us but anyway so back to the thing i i was feeling like i'm a little bit my nose feels a bit stuffed up actually what it was i in the hotel room i noticed i sneezed like two or three times which you know three years ago wouldn't set off any alarm bells and then i felt kind of warm in the taxi cab or in the lift i should say and um and so and i was just feeling tired and run down and really what i should probably would have should have realized was yeah I've had a long day but we are living in a moment of time where anything that feels even slightly off or different is just a reason to be really concerned and so like I was texting with Becca and I was like I uh you know I'm going to um I'm going to take a a test as soon as I land but then I was going to get in so late all the drugstores were going to be closed I mean this all this went from I feel totally fine to I'm pretty sure I have Omicron in about four minutes andrew like that's the thing too that's the thing about spiraling it isn't like i got up in the morning and i felt really awful and i didn't have a sense of taste and i had someone had texted me and said oh you were at this place where someone else who's tested positive you know there was there was no specific reason for me to have this kind of like out of control thought process except for just the world we're all living in so anyway by the time i'm at the airport um i'm fully freaking out so i get i get into the airport and i i have a thermometer with me um because a lot of times for cbs shoots i have to actually take my temperature on on like zoom in front of a nurse to show that my body temperature is fine so i'm trying to in san francisco airport kind of without alarming people kind of find an area that's out of the way where i can take my temperature because if my temperature was high in that moment i wasn't going to get on the plane i mean i was going to just i don't know what i was going to do go back to the hotel and isolate or something um my temperature was normal so that was good but i i was wondering no one gave me any grief but i was just wondering what goes through someone's mind if you're about to get on a

plane and someone's taking their own temperature i i don't think that oh sorry i didn't let you finish no i mean i leave that part i think it's you know i i would i don't think that that would freak me out i think i would be glad that somebody is taking it so seriously yeah yeah um and i just want to say one thing that's been living in my head and maybe I am shadow boxing a little bit here too you know and your story you know kind of underscores this as well like you're concerned about this but also you are vaccinated I don't I and boosted and boosted I know that these are not this is not an ironclad uh defense against this and it's not an ironclad defense against spreading it just thinking about what I was saying

Thank you.

before about them checking vax cards when we went into the club last night i know that that is not an ironclad defense because you just i'm sure you saw this too maybe you're in touch with him but our but our buddy andy haynes who's been on a tour supporting his brand new comedy album has covid i mean and he's very much like you i've seen him like often posting on social media all the measures he's taking to like check himself and you know make sure then and so he did he was continually checking himself and testing himself and there he was down in Texas um and he and he tested positive

so now he's I saw some people I saw I mean mostly people were saying um oh man feel better sorry about that and then there was one person who was like because I think Andy wrote something like well this is you know he said like I just I literally came to Texas and got COVID and somebody said you might have brought it from New York like I could tell there was one person probably who lives in texas like hey come on we haven't contact traced this fully but so anyway i um i started to feel actually a better and like i said i took my temperature and it was normal and so i was like trying to just i don't know analyze if i was just having a bit of a meltdown or if there was any reason to think any specific reason to think maybe something was amiss and then of course i also just start thinking if i have if i have you know omicron or i guess delta or whatever if i have covid this is going to just absolutely torpedo thursday because we're doing the show tonight and there's a lot of people relying on me and and also i'm going on vacation on monday i didn't want to spend it in you know quarantine so anyway i am it was very sweet uh as the plane was about to take off becca texted me a picture of uh a covid test that she had brought over to my place uh a bunch of like um you know healthful like a ginger shot and things for cold and flu and stuff and it put together this little packet for me so when i got home i immediately tested myself and i was a resounding negative i also had a pcr test last week so i feel like i've been pretty i've been pretty tested the last uh you know the last eight days uh and so i i don't think that i have it in fact you know i've tested negative i feel fine this morning but it was just it was just weird to me because I'm not I don't think of myself as an overly fearful person but I think all of us now have to deal with this sort of nagging thought in the back of your mind if anything feels even a little bit off for even four minutes in a lift you just your mind goes to some weird place yeah

certainly and again I think and again I don't want to downplay the concern but because we are you and I and a lot of the people around us are fully vaxxed and boosted at this point And with this particular variant that is spreading so quickly, like all of the news reports I'm hearing is, you know, if you're in the situation we're in and you catch it, it's very survivable in most cases. And, you know, the symptoms are supposedly not as bad, especially if you're vaccinated and all those things. So really what it is is about ruining, you know, ruining whatever you have on the agenda. And we happen to be at a time of year for everybody, not just you and me and our vacations and you and your big show and everything. But like a lot of people, it's the holidays, like everybody, not everybody, but a lot of people have big things on their agenda right now that may involve traveling, that may involve seeing elderly family members, all these things that like families are on the edge of their seat, just hoping that one person doesn't test positive and blow everything up. in the same way that if I were to test positive, I would complete, I would, I mean, I don't even know what we would do. And now I'm starting to think I shouldn't have gone to that show. Like, because if something happens, like, yeah, no, I, I, I certainly will. If I have any even, I feel fine other than my weird dreams. But, um, of course, yeah, I would get a test and, and Hawaii is also incredibly strict about traveling. So I'm not going to be pulling any BS, but like that would be thousands of dollars of, you know, rooms that Genevieve has Rented and car and all Plane ticket and all this stuff

Well I mean let's be honest Genevieve would just still go on the trip If she were negative don't you think

Yeah I mean I would Well first of all especially if I'm isolating That would be the best thing for everybody involved But I don't Think that it would I don't think it would be the happiest situation

No it wouldn't be ideal at all

But I mean like To be alone in Hawaii or I mean Maybe she could find a friend who could Who could take the ticket I don't know yeah I guess Maybe she finds a friend And but to spend the Holidays apart you know

And me it would know it would be less than ideal But would you wouldn't feel Like You and your feelings Wouldn't be hurt if she was like look we can't get the Money back on this thing you're You're positive I am negative somehow I can still go on this trip I'm gonna go get My my son and my fun and just Lie on the beach and read a book you would you would you feel like she was abandoning you or would you like no save yourself go on well i mean for no gee i would just feel terrible for i mean we've had i mean genevieve i mean listen we we all like vacation right but like genevieve looks forward to this stuff so much and she you know and she does all of the planning around it and i think part of the planning is the fantasizing about like when the day comes and getting excited about it like i think genevieve really looks forward to these things in a way that really gets her through the times that are not so great you know like if i were to ruin this for her i would just feel terrible i wouldn't i would feel terrible that she that i had ruined it even to the degree that we couldn't go together and create that kind of are you sure you're not going ruins it for her maybe i mean maybe not right exactly so um no of course i would want her to go and also for from a practical matter it would be good to again in this weird scenario it's so funny this started with you being whipped up yesterday and now i am so whipped up i feel fine by the way but you're just in your head a little bit yeah now suddenly i'm just so in my head like we're talking about this like this is a real scenario and i'm starting to panic well listen all the

caveats that we know are out there on these tests depending on if you get pcr or if you get the antigen test obviously the antigen test is a little bit less ironclad but i mean it is overall fairly accurate i mean it's it's it's right much more often than it's wrong if you do the test right because go get a binax and and take the test and and i'm sure you'll be negative and then you're you know you'll feel a lot better um and and again i this is such a complicated thing and i can already hear i'm again i'm very gun shy now about the kruger situation i can already hear people emailing in anything that anyone does other than just hermetically sealing themselves into one room in their house is going to expose them and other people to some amount of risk and what we're all doing is kind of making decisions for ourselves about what is the acceptable what for ourselves is the acceptable level of risk and different people put that kind of mark at different you know places some people are deeply irresponsible some people are like beyond hyper responsible I think most of us are living somewhere in the middle and what we're trying to kind of do and it's funny because this feels like something I probably said a year and three months ago i don't know when the start of this thing was everyone's just trying to also get through this in the best way that they can preserving as much of their life as they can while also not endangering themselves and others you know and everyone kind of everyone kind of sort of i guess operates slightly differently and so some people may get mad at what we're talking about or you know mad at you for going to the show or mad at me for um you know uh getting on a plane when i when i suddenly was feeling sniffly or something but we're all just trying to get through this and do our best so let's all uh you know let's all email andrew about this and not me that's really what i'm trying to say okay we gotta take a quick break then we come back we do have lots of top stories and apparently lots of blurs days so stay with us here on tbtl All right, let's thank some donors of the day who are making this episode possible with their support. Eric Jagger of Petaluma, California. You were mentioning as we were in the break that Eric is the person who animated Oops! The Dirty Monster.

Indeed he is. He's still one of my favorite TBTL, I don't know, moments or thingies. It's one of my favorite TBTL thingies.

I feel like that, when this is all over, probably next week, we will look back on that as one of the cooler things that was generated sort of by virtue of this show, but of course more by virtue of Eric, because the animation is what totally makes it. It's so good.

Him animating a little story that I told years ago now when you on the show discovered that I had a pet bird, or my family had a pet bird growing up, which was something that you did not apparently know about me.

If you haven't seen it, just, I guess, probably Google it. TBTL Oops, the Dirty Monster. And I think it's on YouTube. You'll see what Eric created. Thanks, Eric, for the donation as well. Rhoda Ashley is right here in Portland, Oregon.

Hey, Rhoda. Thank you. Rhoda might be at the show tonight. And when I say the show, I mean the PDUSA show.

I almost bought tickets for PD. I mean, it wasn't like I was going to go and not go to my job at Livewire, but I was so excited when I saw that he was touring that I thought, maybe I can finish my show and then go right over there and see his show. Kind of like in a cool guy move where somehow in my brain it changed into being a thing where he and I know each other and it's sort of like, you know, Chris Rock gets done with his comedy show somewhere in New York.

goes over to catch the end of jerry seinfeld's set and maybe they're buddies maybe you even go on and you do a few minutes yeah exactly like you know something where pd and i are we're colleagues we're friends and i get over there and i catch the show and then he's like oh you know what we gotta bring my friend luke up here and then i just like do a couple songs too and it's that real kind of i don't know 50s nightlife thing maybe it's more like vegas and it's like the rat pack folks all just kind of showing up at each other's shows and doing little walk-ons. Anyway, the show sold out, and I didn't buy any tickets.

And you don't know each other.

And we never will. So that's how that story ends. But the story of Danielle and Chris Greenewalt in Philadelphia, PA, is just starting. Well, the part about them donating to the show this year, that part of the story is just starting. I bet they have a lot of backstory. They have the same last name, which I'm going to assume means they're probably in a relationship together i know they're living in philadelphia pa which is the city of brotherly love so that's cool so yeah there's a there's a lot we don't know about danielle and chris but we do know is that they are supporting tbtl and we really do appreciate it uh gray chapman is in san jose california thank you gray for keeping tbtl going kayla harris is in Stockton. Ah, Kayla.

Hi, Kayla.

Kayla.

Kayla, I think, well, I was going to say a relatively new listener. I think maybe the past couple of years now, but Kayla also texts the TBTL line a lot and gives us cool perspectives on things.

Kayla's one of our new listeners. She's been listening for seven years.

Exactly. I heard it.

Thank you, Kayla. And then Jenna Munoz is in Friday Harbor, Washington. Now that, Friday Harbor, that is a beautiful, beautiful part of the world. We used to have, we used to play a, there was a basketball tournament for the SeaTac B League. I think it was called Tri-State and it happened in Friday Harbor. So you'd, Tri-State was where you would play, like if you were like varsity basketball. If you won there, then you get to go to State, which was in Spokane. But this was kind of like for the West. So we'd get on the bus and we would just be on that bus for hours and we would go to Friday Harbor. full of hope and then we would usually be quickly dispatched by the better teams and then we'd go to the mcdonald's in friday harbor and i would beg everyone for money so i could get a quarter

pounder well i never made it out of thursday bay so uh you at least i am i'll never get on stage

with pd with that i think it's interesting i'll put a word in for you thank you i think it's interesting that i just told a story about me uh going around panhandling to the rest of the basketball team to try to get and really what I would do is I'd hit up the girls basketball team because they were just a little bit more generous and nice I'd hit up Linda Shea I'd hit up you know Yuki Laney Alicia Arneson and you know I'd be like can I just get like 50 cents and they would maybe give me a buck or two so I'd get my meal I told that story in the context of me being the recipient of money that folks like Jenna Kayla Gray Danielle Chris Rhoda and Eric have donated to us Andrew so we can do this job very little has changed in the intervening 30 years all right let's go to McDonald's I'm still a charity case what is going on thank you so much to our donors of the day for making this episode possible hello and welcome to top story all right we've got a bunch of top stories but uh we're gonna we're gonna punt those till uh tomorrow because you said there's something that you just found out about or some kind of is it does it qualify as

breaking news uh yeah i think we could pull out the breaking news yeah okay tvtl breaking news what is uh going on what are what are we what are we um shifting the top stories for i just wanted to tell you about something i got genevieve for christmas it came in the mail yesterday it should you be whispering she's not here oh okay it's a coke spoon so is that really what it ended up being seriously got genevieve a coke spoon for christmas she already knows i couldn't keep it to myself little background a little bg on me you know what i used to eat for breakfast cocaine i even i even alluded to this i mean we made a joke about it on the show because genevieve recently switched from using little yellow packages of what's your sugar splendor of splenda which you always kept in the house and she's now been using this is uh some sort of monk fruit monk fruit yeah you know what you go ahead i literally can't think of anything. So anyway, so Genevieve now has the sugar supplement. substitute that she keeps in a cute little wooden apple bowl next to the coffee machine not in little individual packets and when she was setting it up I can't remember where she got this little wooden apple from but she got it somewhere recently and she was delighted by it and she said oh and now I'm just going to get a cute little spoon to like kind of move the sugar out and put it in my coffee and stir it and I said oh yeah that's great and I kind of put it in the back of my head I actually added it to my little email list of gift ideas that I keep and I was like oh that'll be that'll be cute she'll forget about this and i'll get her a cute little spoon off of etsy and i never shopped off of etsy before and so i went online i'm going to say about a week and a half ago and um i found two good options for little spoons one was a little metal spoon that i liked it looked i mean i don't know if a metal spoon can be handcrafted but it looked a little you know it looked a little rough hewn just a tiny bit to give it a little bit of character and it's labeled a salt spoon on etsy and i was like that one could be good um and then i kept looking and i found another spoon a little wooden spoon and that one was from somewhere in northern europe and neither one of these were very expensive the quote-unquote salt spoon the little metal spoon that showed up yesterday was only four dollars um so you know then you have to pay the shipping the shipping is probably more than the than the spoon and i and i thought you know what the the the spoon the metal spoon from the states will probably arrive first I can give that to Genevieve and say there might be a nicer handcrafted wooden spoon coming um and you can decide later which one you want to use for your sugar uh they they're both going to be cute and then yesterday I got an email that says your first spoon has arrived basically a package has arrived and I'm like oh cool so I open up the front door and I didn't see a package I'm like oh you know it's probably small enough that they just put it in the mailbox so I go down to the mailbox and

Sure enough, there's a little package in there. I'm like, wow, this is a small package. And then I'm opening it up and inside like the bubble wrap package, like the mailer is a tiny, tiny little piece of cardboard that's folded around a couple of times and then taped up with like packing tape. And I knew I knew immediately. I mean, this thing can I could hold I could hold 15 of these in my hand. It holds one granule of monk fruit. It really does.

Or 11 granules of Bolivian marching powder if you're in, like, the bathroom of a nightclub.

I'll use this as the show pic today. In fact, here, I think I can maybe send you the link to the actual thing I bought here, Luke.

Yeah, I'm on Etsy right now. I'm looking at all of their various spoons, and boy, who knew Etsy was the place to go to for spoons of any size or shape because they have a huge selection.

You can tell I've never shopped on Etsy before and that I'm just generally bad at online shopping because I saw a picture of this spoon, but there was nothing next to it to give it scale. And I'm sure, actually, if I look at this page, I'm sure it will say somewhere exactly how big it is. I'm not seeing that right now. But then, oh, I do see in the comments, some people have taken photos of it like next to a lighter, and I see that it's smaller than a lighter. I just measured it. I brought in a tape measure. It's exactly two inches long from the tip of the spoon to the end of the handle. So if you can picture that, and then everything else is in scale. So I couldn't not tell Genevieve. I took it upstairs. I didn't open it all the way. I took the little cardboard thing. I'm like, Genevieve, I'm giving you your Christmas gift early. And I just handed it to her. I'm like, do you have scissors? And she's cutting it open. She looked at it. She was very confused. I said, I got you a Coke spoon for Christmas. She said, where's the Coke? I said, I don't know where to get that. But anyway, so now we're just going to keep this little thing in our little – We have a little museum of of miniature oddities in our in our bathroom, like a little a little jar that we found on the beach or something or in our backyard in New Hampshire. That's probably old. And we just keep it. We now keep our Coke spoon in this old antique jar.

Well, that's what I was going to say. You have you love things of scale. Yeah, you've talked about that a lot. And you've got little kind of, you know, our friend, I think was it was it our friend cat who created some amazing little dioramas and little kind of. like, sculptural moments from, like, What About Bob and things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got various things around where you could find one of your little sort of figures or something. That spoon might be perfect. That spoon might be huge. That in their world, it's not a Coke spoon. In their world, it's a – like, you know, Alice Waters, I think, famously has a ladle. I'm obsessed with this. Not so obsessed that I remember the details, but I watched a TV interview with Alice Waters, the great chef from the bay area and food person where she has this long like cast iron spoon that she cooks eggs in like over an open fire so and this was a lot i might have done those 60 minutes or what it was but i just vividly remember her with this i'd never seen an implement like it but it was a again a long kind of cast iron spoon that you could crack a couple eggs into and then you can put over the fire almost like you're roasting a marshmallow but you're cooking your eggs and like i've never before that i'd never thought god there's got to be a better way to cook eggs there's got to be a more fire-based way to cook my eggs but i became i just like you know how i am i was like god someday i'm gonna just like write a bunch of seminal food books i'm gonna found a rest a hugely popular restaurant i think she founded what french laundry is that her place I'm not sure. And I'm going to also have a beautiful, huge fireplace in my kitchen. That was the other thing. The fireplace was in her kitchen, which I thought was also so boss. And then I'm going to cook eggs in my giant cast iron spoon. I've done none of those things, but I still dream of doing it someday. But anyway, in the world of your miniature scale things, this spoon could be that.

Now, let me ask you this. So I saw this and I am completely unfamiliar with the world of cocaine usage. I just assumed that this was like coded a salt spoon, but really people are buying it because I've never seen a spoon so small. And so I just assumed that this was just like, you know, I think we talked about this last week when the topic sort of came up that like, you know, I used to go into places as a kid where I would buy like my Donovan CDs and my incense and all of the other trappings of being like a deadhead or a hippie. and they would have like you know uh like what would you call like water pipes or whatever that we knew were bongs but they would call it you know something else because for legal purposes but i'm looking at the i'm looking at the reviews of this thing online and like it seems like a lot of people are like oh my gosh this is great for my salt collection like is this am i am i is am i taking this to a place that it doesn't need to be taken to did i just get a tiny salt spoon i've never heard of salt spoons before or am i being had by these by these people who are saying this is so cute i can't wait to use it for my quarantine cooking is quarantine cooking code words for going

to the club i'm going to be honest with you andrew i don't think it's a coke spoon i think it's probably for it's probably just cutesy because the actual cocaine spoons that i have seen purely online and in film what they usually do and again i think they have some crazy name for them online that is very much out of the head shop of our youth you know they call them like snuff like it's so you could like you could put your put your snuff in there and then you can take out a little pinch of it and you can use this spoon that's actually soldered into the unscrewing cap of the tin and you can take your snuff because you're a gold miner from the 1700s right right yeah this

And there's no, like, easy way to carry this thing. It's not like there's a hole in it to carry it around your neck. Also, I'm looking online. I'm looking at the actual Etsy page I bought this on. There are tons of photos of it next to a quarter for scale. I just didn't click any of the other photos. And a lighter. The lighter was underneath.

And there's a lot of reviews from people who don't seem twitchy. No, exactly. One of them says, I love my Whittle spoon. Right. It's, like, really cute. No one's going, like, has anyone seen Larry?

He owes me money

Those are the reviews on the Silk Road coke spoon Yeah those ones are more like It's like a vessel That holds the Illicit substance and then Somehow woven into it Or not woven but you know attached to it Is a teeny tiny kind of spoon So that you can do your thing But they have to make it all self contained Because I don't think that they trust the people Who've been doing a lot of bumps in the bathroom to remember to bring the various implements. So they're really trying to kind of one-stop shop it for you is the sense that I have.

Yeah, and now I'm seeing there's a whole bunch of photos of... So maybe we should have just done top stories. I got Genevieve a spoon that is slightly smaller than I thought, I guess, is the story here, because there's all kinds of photos of people using these with their little tiny salt ramekins and what have you.

Well, I was able to find a New York Times story about Alice Waters' egg spoon, which was awesome because I was worried that I had either dreamed that. I also have weird dreams, Andrew. You're not the only one who gets to have weird dreams on the show. Or that I was thinking of, like, you know, a different influential food person like Ruth Reichel or something. But no, story from the New York Times, 2018. What's cooking in that egg spoon? A bite-sized culture war. And this is apparently written by Kim Severson. I haven't really been able to read it, but it appears that there is some kind of controversy around this egg spoon the first egg spoon dust-up occurred in 2009 after ms waters the spiritual mother of all that is organic and sustainable cooked leslie stall an egg in an iron spoon she held over her fire in berkeley for a segment on 60 minutes so all right go best friend i remembered that i'm proud um ms uh waters had acquired the spoon after she saw one in William Rubell's book The Magic of Fire Hearth Cooking 100 Recipes for Fireplace or Campfire and she had a blacksmith make her one now to the culture war part her appearance with the spoon set off some viewers notably Anthony Bourdain who was then into the fifth season of his culinary travel show No Reservations. She's Pol Pot in a muumuu she was reported to have said at a New York food festival shortly afterward. Always reserved. i saw her on 60 minutes she used six cords of wood to cook one egg for leslie stall the lines were drawn on one side were those who viewed cooking an egg over a fire as the embodiment of food elitism and all that is annoying about the slow food movement only people who are very rich or very poor have fireplaces in their kitchens critics say where is a working parent supposed to find the time the opposing camp were people happy to discover a slow delicious way to make those farm eggs that they had worked so hard to find even if the egg spoon was merely aspirational which i've already established it was for me and remains so it set the bar for a simpler way of cooking and eating etc etc um so uh i i uh i'm just glad that i actually remembered the broad strokes of that story i'm looking at this article i'm looking

at the photos there's even an animated gif oh my god like it seems incredibly appealing yeah i mean And I understand what Bourdain's saying, but, like, I also don't – I mean, I do not live in this world of, you know, of elite culinary conversation. So to me, like, yeah, there's all kinds of things in all of these lifestyle types of websites and books and what have you that only appeal to a certain lifestyle that is aspirational for most of us. Isn't that part of the whole thing? I know that Bourdain's whole thing was trying to bring things back down to earth. And also a quote like that is just a fun quote to throw out there.

Yeah, he was very good with a quote like that that was sort of very biting in a way.

Exactly. And he's also, you know, he was also a very funny person. You know what I mean? So like just knowing, hearing that coming out of his mouth, I'm sure like, you know, he gets it. You know, anyway, the point is, like, I don't know why you need to take a side on this, because to me so much like, yeah, I'm looking at these photos. It looks delicious and it looks awesome. And I would like to try it. And like you, I know I never will. But like, isn't that the whole point of goop, you know, and all of those? Well, actually, I guess goop kind of treads the line, right? Like it is supposed to be somewhat accessible for I don't know anything about goop.

OK, other than other than what I see. I mean, I'm serious. Like, you know, I see some people online posting things that are meant to be kind of, you know, I guess you could say critical or having some comedic fun at the expense of the goop empire. I've never been on the website. I don't – I mean, like I said, I know some people love it. Some people don't. So I can assume people will soon start sending me some emails asking me to stick up for goop. They won't send them to you. I slowly back away from the topic. One other quick thing. Can I just say this? It's Chez Panisse. That was the restaurant that Alice Waters, I think, co-founded, not French Laundry, Mabie.

Okay. I was just going to say, and we can just end this conversation if you want to, but this is very accessible, and I'm always tempted to do it, yet I never do, is sometimes I'm in the store, and I'll pass one of those little tiny mini skillets, like a tiny, tiny cast iron skillet that I assume the main purpose is to cook a little egg for yourself, and that always looks so tempting to me. But I always I always say you're going to buy that because it's small and it's cute, but you're never actually going to use that to cook your eggs. You'll cook one egg in it and then you'll just go back to cooking your like monstrous four eggs in a big pan.

Also, if it's cast iron, you know, you can use those things for just baking or I don't know if baking is the way to describe it. I'm so uneducated around food, but you know what I mean? You can make something like a little quiche or something, a quiche or something like that. And that's actually the vessel in which it's also cooked and served, which is, again, appealing to me. I like the I don't know why I like this being like, oh, we also cooked it in this. And now you're eating out of that. That's fun to me as well. Addie's has gotten really into rehabbing cast iron. So she got this old cast iron pan at like a secondhand store. And then it was amazing. Like she sent me all these pictures of the process of soaking it and taking it down to like to where it's basically silver and then like building it back up to where it's just like so shiny and seasoned and everything. And she was like really into this, like this dude from Texas has a whole YouTube page about like bringing your cast iron back to life. And it was amazing. And then she cooked me some food and I was like, this is so good.

I'm going to do that. You know, I'm going to be serious about this in the new year. That is going to be an actual goal of mine. I'm not somebody who usually makes New Year's resolutions, but Genevieve.

We have a we have a cast iron skillet that we've been using for about 15 years now, and it's a very similar story. Genevieve got it at, you know, she got it used in New Hampshire. And so, like, that's the thing about when you go to like a thrift store, not even really a thrift store, but like a flea market kind of thing in New England. Like a lot of the shit is legit, really old. Right. And it's like there's nothing there's nothing more New Englandy than like, you know, getting a used skillet and then, you know, reseasoning it yourself. You know, it's just a kind of flinty that flintiness. And Genevieve did that. And this thing was like kind of old and rusty. And she she took it all the way down and and then seasoned it all up again. But the thing is, that was 15 years ago. And I didn't know enough about skillets. And as as somebody who cooked and cleans this thing, I knew you weren't supposed to use a lot of soap and blah, blah, blah. But I'm also I think I was I think I've mistreated this thing over the years. And now it's kind of built up. It's just not the skillet that it can be. And I know there's a good skillet underneath there. And I like the fact that this thing is at least as old as our relationship and probably goes back way older than that. Like, I like the history of Paul Revere's wife once swung it at him.

Exactly. Came home loaded. Right. Yes, exactly. It was like, no, I was warning about the British coming. Yeah, right.

That again. So anyway, I and I keep on thinking, like, this is the perfect puttering thing for me. Like, it's a good little project that takes a lot of time and care and attention to detail. But at the end, like I've seen good skillets. I know what a good skillet looks like. I could never cook an egg in the skillet that I'm using now because it's just like it's too gunked up. You know what I mean? And so I need to. And I've, you know, I'm not even kidding.

You should reach out to Addy.

I was like the world's expert on it. I don't want her to. You know what I mean? Like I because I can go online and I can find a tutorial. But it would be nice to know, like, what is the tutorial? Like, what is her number one guiding principle?

I would be interested in that. Yeah, I will put you two in touch. I'm actually going to be up in Seattle this weekend. Addie and I are going to the Nutcracker. So I'll ask her when I'm up there about her recommendations, and then I'll have her print it out and hand it to me, and then I'll drive it over to your house, because I don't want you two interacting online. That's going to get weird.

You can't be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can't be nothing but one.

All right, Luke.

All right. You ready to blurs? I was blorn-bready to blurs. Blorn to blurs. I'm trying to get those out of my system before tonight when I'm on stage. with PD USA I want to be my sharpest

yeah absolutely well just get it out you know you can get the bad jokes out of the way during Livewire and then when you go do your impromptu set what club is that that PD is

showing up at? I don't actually know I don't think I'd heard of it before honestly also we've promoted it enough yeah we have it's fine I was thinking of inviting him on to Livewire because I'm such a fan but then I was like I don't actually know what his vibe is like when he's not in character on TikTok or playing music. And I was like, who knows? And I also felt like I would be – at the time, I thought I'd be trying to explain to everyone who this guy is, although I think it would be more like if I went to his show, he'd be trying to explain to them who I am. Well, it's interesting because – I think he's pretty well-known now.

I was texting my friend Paul about this because – Oh, P-Dog? P-Dog, exactly. He would – like once I got – once I heard that song about baseball, I sent it to Pauly. There was just something about Petey that seems like Pauly would dig to a lot of the lyrics or stuff that he and I would vibe out to together. And so anyway, I'm texting him from the show last night. He's like, oh, yeah, he was just he had a blurb in The New Yorker this last week and quoting.

Yeah, Califasane. Oh, is it more than a blurb? I just saw a little photo of him. No, it's just part of a long-running campaign by noted writer and journalist Khalif Fasane to basically have all of the good ideas that I wish I had. He did a profile on Sunday morning of John Wilson, the guy that does that HBO show that I'm obsessed with, How To, with John Wilson, where he kind of, like, films endless amounts of footage on the streets of New York, and then he kind of constructs a How To episode, How To tip. How to pick out the right wine It of course ends up being much more Interesting than that and not just about the thing He's allegedly or ostensibly going to explain To you so I've always been fascinated with this guy Somehow Califa got Them to let him do A Sunday morning piece with this guy which I would have Thought they would have been like no way this is way too Out there he wrote

a blurb about pd usa in the new yorker and then there's one more thing that he did i can't remember thought my head that was like something i'm obsessed with that he totally did for sunday morning or somewhere else and i was just like oh man i mean he's much better at all that stuff than i am too so i guess that also makes sense but i was just like i was like can i just have one can i just do one story that doesn't involve me diving in cold water shirtless one you gotta earn

your stripes all right i'm ready to do this okay judy says could you please stop luke from talking about no judy says could you please take a moment to wish my husband roger a happy blursday he is a dedicated loyal listener so by default i hear the stories or his version of the stories even when i don't get to listen it will surprise him that i took time to contact you and asked you to wish him A very happy birthday from his loving wife, more frequently referred to as Genius or Sar. Or do you think that's S-A-R? Am I supposed to spell it or say it?

I'm going Sar because there are no periods. It was S period, A period, so I would go with Sar. Happy Blur's Day to Roger from Genius or Sar. Happy Blur's Day, Roger. That was very nice of you, Judy, to take the time to email us. Jesse says, could you please wish a happy Blur's Day to the following two TBTL luminaries? Christy, the nice lady wise. We love C-Wise. And Steve, the stew bot Newman. Huh. Britney Spears, huh? Sound effect. I didn't know. I didn't realize it was the stew bot's Blur's Day.

I didn't know he had a Blur's Day. I thought he was sort of immortal.

He emerged from a growler, fully formed.

I'm sorry. My brain, I didn't support you on that. That's okay. My brain went somewhere else for a second. I was latching onto a conversation that I thought I had with Genevieve that I was going to bring into this conversation. Then I remembered it involved religion, and I didn't want to get into it, and all of that was happening.

I know that exact feeling.

And I was just like, oh, wait, what did you say? Growler. Okay. And then I couldn't. It was too late. Everything had moved. It's been a long day. I got to get tested. Stephanie in Brooklyn says, I'd like to send a happy Blur's Day message to Peter, my 11, for the last 10 years. After finding my match, I can say that Peter has given me more than any custom-designed diamond ring ever could. I love him more. Now you have a friend in the Blur's Day business. I love him more than ever, even after seven apartments, two cities, two dogs, and one pandemic. Onesies forever. Aw, that's so cute. Cozy.

I've been married four times in that span. It's not a competition. Yeah, but if it was, I'd be winning. I have the most. Lisa says, happy unspecified, maybe special milestone to our own Nebraska 10, Trisha. Trisha is a unicorn of awesomeness, a great mom, an excellent friend. a fabulous daughter, an expert in education, and more. Hilarious, kind, empathetic, lovely, and generally wonderful. Tell us how you really feel, Lisa. Are you on the fence about old Trish? Trish is also unafraid to open a can of whoop-ass on those who deserve it. Uh-oh. We love you. I put a question mark on that. I'm sorry. It has an exclamation point. We love you. Let me give you an A, B, and C. Let's give you an A, B, and C on this. I'll just, we love you. We love you. We love you. All right. We've got it coming.

Now, this is interesting because this is a Blur's Day that's going to be happening in the next couple of weeks. But Brad is right to send this in early because, of course, we'll be doing the winter games the next two Thursdays. So Blur's Days. Blur's Days will take a backseat for a little bit. But Brad says, happy birthday on December 27th to AJ in Norfolk from your favorite in-law, Brad. Enjoy the day in the new house and with the new tattoo. Maybe your second tattoo will be TBTL related. I'm a little insulted that the first one wasn't, AJ. Happy Blur's Day from Brad to AJ. AJ's been a longtime listener of this show.

Jeffrey would like to wish his wife, Jenna, pronounced Jenna, a happy 34th Blur's Day. From dates, walking through Menards, to throwing my proverbial phone at the boys over some stupid nerdy thing. Really, Jeffrey? You have to bring that into this otherwise lovely moment involving Menards and Jenna? To sharing drops with unsuspecting family and friends when opportunities strike. I wouldn't ask for anyone else to share this crazy thing called life with. Love you more.

I was married and divorced during the reading of that message. The thing is, I'm really, I'm getting efficient. Yeah, no, that's what counts.

I bought 17 Coke spoons as you read that. Fletch F. Fletch, our dear, dear pal. Phyllis says, Gus, it's your Blur's Day again. You went to your first rock show this week to see Fishbone. Oh, my gosh. That's pretty cool. You played Coltrane and Miles Davis At your first band concert last week What were you saying?

Do you think the guy from Fishbone still has He had like kind of a I don't know, almost like a dread hawk Like a mohawk, but it was kind of Sort of tighter dreads He's a very iconic hairstyle, the guy in Fishbone But I haven't tried to imagine The band Fishbone in like 20 years Yeah, 30 years

I think I had it wrong I thought he had really, really long dreads But I think I'm thinking of somebody else So he had, like, kind of a shaved head on the sides. That's what I remember. Gus can tell us.

He was just at the show.

Well, Phyllis goes on to say, talking to Gus here, just catching you all up, doing a reset. You'll want a humanitarian award when you finished elementary school this year. You're learning Japanese. You're about to be 12. Hard to believe we've been listening to TV. He already has a humanitarian award? I know. Calm down. I got 12 humanitarian awards just during the Blur's Day segment. You're about to be 12. It's hard to believe we've been listening to TBTL since you were four. It's fun to be a 10 with you, Gus. Happy Blur's Day. Happy Blur's Day, Gus, from us, too.

No more humanitarian awards, though, until I win one, please. It's not like getting shown up by a young person. Anna in Seattle says, I'd like to wish a cozy, crafty, and doggo-filled blurs to one of the very few 10s I've met in real life, Mandy in Shoreline. We only met once, but I think she's pretty cool, and I love seeing pictures of her pup and knitting creations on Facebook and Instagram. We should meet again for another drink, Mandy. Until then, stay safe, happy, and bathed in the warmth of Podcart Bliss.

And also just take a bath, too. Just a nice, warm, relaxing bath.

Yeah, bathe in the warmth of TBTL, and also the warmth of the actual water and things. But also, I do think you're a little extra about bathing. I mean, that's fine. You have your system, and I respect that. But the rest of us don't maybe bathe as much as you do.

Get one of those bath bombs. I don't take a lot of baths. Some candles. Sometimes I do. During quarantine, I had to hanker in for a bath every now and then. So Genevieve got me some nice bubbles, bubble bath for my birthday. A lot of bees booed.

My problem with that is, so when I, you know, at Burbank Springs in Bellingham, And when we remodeled the bathroom, it ended up being the thing where there was a shower that you stood in and then a bathtub that was separate. And I had no idea. I'd never lived in a house that had that before. But it was amazing because you're not standing in the bathtub every single time you take a shower. So that bathtub stays pretty clean. And then it's just kind of there waiting for you if you want to have a bath. Now I'm back to one bathroom and standing in the bathtub when I shower. So unless I want to get out the whole like cleaning situation and do like a spotless style full bath clean down, I just my bathing days are on hold until I find myself in another situation like I used to be.

I recommend soft scrub when it's time to actually do a good scrubbing down on that on that bathtub. But also, Luke, I really you mentioned one time I think I was kind of maybe fishing for compliments or maybe I was fishing for insults. Honestly, you were over my house a few months ago and I had recently taken a shower and I asked you, like, what does it smell like in here? What I was getting at was I was hoping you weren't walking in on like kind of I don't know. I was hoping that you weren't walking into a situation where it smelled like somebody had just taken a shower, which is not a bad smell when it's you or your partner who's taking a shower. But in a professional setting, I thought it might be weird if you came over and there was still a little bit of steam in the air or whatever. But you actually mentioned the bathroom smelled really good, and I will say it was because I used that Method brand post-shower spray. You just keep it in the shower, and you spray it down when you're done. So it just keeps any kind of mildew or other things from forming? It does. It really does kind of battle, and I think kind of the soap scum stuff too. It just kind of keeps it at bay. I mean, you're still going to need to clean your shower from time to time, of course, but it gives me a much better feeling about my shower, so I do recommend that. Since you asked Kate says I would like to wish My best friend And partner in life Maddie A happy blurs day It was actually Just yesterday By the way The 15th I hope this year Brings you happiness And good fortune I love you Kate Oh did I Oh I might have said Katie before I think I misread That maybe said Katie before My apologies Probably

had Maddie on the brain, so you were maybe transferring it. Sorry about that. That's from Kate to Maddie. Happy Blursey, Maddie. I was working out thinking about bathtubs. This TikTok video that I saw where this guy pours like, I mean, 80,000 gallons of juice and alcohol and fruit into a bathtub. He's like making, you know, one of those kinds. I never even saw one in real life, but you'd hear about it in high school, you know, where someone would basically make all of the alcohol that was going to be drunk at the party, but they'd do it in the bathtub and all All I could think was, God, is that bathtub clean enough? Then he made a follow-up video where he said, I paid to have the bathtub cleaned. Okay. So he's like, it was clean, supposedly. I don't think. You couldn't pay enough. If a bathtub was coming fresh off the assembly line at Kohler or Price Fister, I wouldn't trust it to drink booze out of them. But anyway. Listeners, Brett and Amy are checking in, wishing our continuing teenager. Cat and Gaming Craver Smart and Funny Five Rockwell A Happy 14th Blur's Day He's long enjoyed the show Especially when he's contributed his rendition of The Murder She Wrote theme on I knew I was remembering that name Rockwell from something His fever dream of a tomato, bacon, turkey, and lettuce sandwich recipe That sounds really good to me right now There's a lot of things in that I can't eat or don't eat That does sound pretty delicious and also how he loves playing drops from the TVTL sound machine. Drops like, or... I'm trying to say I was drunk. I drank eight beers yesterday. That was all I drank. So happy Blur's Day, Rockwell. Happy Blur's Day, Rockwell. Happy 14th, bud.

Hi, guys. I hope we're not too late to wish our lovely 5 McKenna a happy 6th Blur's Day. the world is better with you in it mac love mom and stinky

Alex says happy blurs day to my ex-husband and tbtl daddy tim alex and tim also got married and divorced during this blurs day segment yeah it's going around they were happy until i started

talking about cleaning bathtubs and they uh-huh everything just fell apart just we've grown apart

in the last 12 minutes. Tim just turned 38. Also, happy Blur's Day to our wonderful son, Jamie, who just turned 10, which I'm pretty sure turns him into, from a five, into an official 10. I could support that, by the way. Welcome to the team, Jamie.

I'll send you the donor form.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. When we say team, you also have to donate. You're an adult now. Sure. With great privilege comes great responsibility. Exactly. We'll be looking forward. You can Venmo us. You can actually just Venmo me directly, Jamie. Don't do that, Jamie. Side thing. Jamie, don't. If I can cheat a little, Alex says, huge congrats to Tim and his partner, Jess, who are expecting another five in June. I'm so excited to welcome another baby into our blended family. That's really sweet. Happy blurs to Jamie. Congratulations to Tim and Jess. And Alex, thank you for checking in with all those family updates.

What's going on with Sibyl, you say? Well, Sibyl says, happy Blurs Day to my dear friend Veronique, whose birthday always falls into my... Now, did we give Veronique a Blurs Day shout-out last week? Is this maybe a bladed blurs? Maybe not.

We have so many listeners named Veronique, Andrew,

that I can't keep them straight. We might have read Veronique's name during the donor segment last week. I'm not sure. But either way, Veronique had a Blurs Day recently, and Sibyl says, happy Blurs Day. The birthday always falls into my hectic Christmas performance season, and we never seem to properly celebrate. Wishing you a beautiful new year, new possibilities, and more of a cycling together this year. Nice.

Christine says, I would like to wish my five, Grace, who will officially be a teenager this weekend, a happy Blur's Day. You know me, Andrew. I'm a sucker for the name Grace. It's a good name. It is my daughter's middle name. I am so proud of the funny, kind, and caring person she is, and I love her with all my heart. Christine DeGrasse. Happy Blurs, Grace.

Happy Blurs Day, everybody. If I had kids, I could name them Grace and Splendor.

Or Monk Fruit and Coke Spoon. Is that what he says? But I know what you say. How do you know they're going to be girls?

Maria Bamford. Oh, right. What should we go out with, Luke? I guess that's it. Let's see here. We're going to do a Petey song for tomorrow, I think. Okay, I got an idea.

I heard, I got to give it up to the San Francisco airport and whoever is programming their music.

music they were playing christmas music yesterday but it was really good it wasn't just you know i saw it were like one grandma got run over by a reindeer which would actually be pretty hilarious you're walking through sfo and it's just like they're playing grandma got run over

by a reindeer um no they were playing a really fancy restaurant where everything is perfect

except you play that i've had okay becca and i had a version of that i was very excited to take her to a restaurant in seattle do i mention it i don't know it's called westward okay and it's down um by gasworks park yep and it used to be it used to be run by a chef and someone who i kind of knew named zoe antonitas and i just always loved the ambiance they had this really great thing behind the bar that was basically the boat out of the life aquatic by with steve zisu um that was kind of behind the bar this really great sort of bisected whatever thing and just The food was a great atmosphere, and you have these great Adirondack chairs that kind of look out on the water. It's just one of my favorite places in Seattle. I was very excited to take Becca there. A friend of mine got married there. Oh, what a cool place to get married. Well, it's definitely under new ownership now because it's still called Westward. And if you'd never been to the previous iteration of it, you might go to this place and just have a wonderful time. But the day we went there, it was – well, first of all, they took the whole bar out. It doesn't have that boat thing anymore. Oh, really? Yeah, which was literally the whole thing. I was like, you're not going to believe it. It has this very cool thing behind the bar. And I was like talking it up for days. And then we go in there, and they don't have that anymore. And then we're sitting outside. It's actually a lovely warm day. But they're blasting, Andrew, like ear-shatteringly loud modern country music. Wow, that's a weird vibe. In that place, and you know the space. Yeah. Even with the new management And the new look It's still a very Seattle place It's very sleek Again it's a beautiful location It's not the kind of place Where they're usually playing Modern country super loud It was so loud That we kind of almost Couldn't even hear each other talking And this is a sunny day Where you're just looking out On the water And South Lake Union And all this And then it's just You know Blasting modern country So we said Is there any way to have The music turned down And they said No it's all in the same system I can try to drape something over the speaker Which was like built into the ground So then someone comes over and like Throws some piece of vinyl over the speaker Which makes zero difference And so anyway we ended up just leaving Because we couldn't sit there and listen to this music That was ear shatteringly loud But that was almost like going to a really really high end Cool restaurant where they're just playing Grandma got run over by the reindeer

I like that specific song God I hate I didn't like that song as a kid I don't think Me neither I didn't like Mommy Kissing Santa Claus either By the way Maybe I was scandalized by it

No I was going to suggest one of the songs that I heard So I heard the Ravenettes The Christmas song that we play a lot On the show I heard that and then it rolled right into The band First Aid Kit You know they're from Scandinavia Somewhere and it was their Cover of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas And it was just a beautiful song So maybe we could play that we'd go out with that since we're still leading up to Christmas?

Yep, it looks like both of these are versions from the BBC. Like live at the BBC? Yeah, exactly. But I think that's often a pretty clean, good recording. It's not like there's going to be a lot of crowd noise and somebody yelling, take me to the bridge! Which is what I associate with live rock shows.

That will not happen in this one. And the reason I know is because I liked it so much in the airport that when I got home last night, I played it on the Sonos. And then just on repeat As I was taking my COVID test So I listened to this song Probably 12 times last night No one yells Take it to the bridge I'll yell it at the end

I'll yell it when appropriate Perfect

Alright Thank you so much For listening everyone We'll be back here tomorrow With more Imaginary Radio for you Until then Have a great Thursday Maybe we'll see you tonight At the PDUSA show Until then Stay safe Take care of yourselves And please remember No mountain too tall And good luck to all

Make the Yuletide game Next year all our troubles will be miles away Once again as in olden days Happy golden days of your Faithful friends who were dear to us Will be near to us once more

Someday soon, we all will be together, if the fates are wild.

Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow.

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now

BAM! I came up with a TBTL sandwich made of tomato, bacon, turkey, and lettuce. I hope you mention it in the show. No mountain too tall, and good luck to all.

Power out.

You