Muse

Wow! Rocking and rolling our way into the TVTL Winter Games. Welcome to a special Monday edition of the show, everyone. This is our little, I guess, yearly winter pause where we put some shows on tape, send them out to you while we are enjoying a little bit of, I would say, well-deserved time off from the show. But of course the fun doesn't stop Because what we have are two weeks Of games, personality quizzes You name it, submitted by you The tens of listeners Which we will be participating in For the next two weeks My name is Luke Burbank by the way Helping me out as always Is the longest running co-bro of the show Mr. Andrew Walsh, hello Hello, do you know that Winter Paws is my furry name? Ah, I didn't know if we were talking about that on the air

Yeah, and now I can dox myself there, sure.

Yeah, that's a really different, you know, what were we using? What have we been using for the last few years? Is that the games we play? The da-da-da-da-da-da song.

Yeah, Conway Twitty, I think, games people play or games that we play. It's just, you know, I was prepping the shows over the weekend, and I just thought, you know, I love the winter games. I really do. This is actually some of my favorite programming of the year because it's specific. And it's, you know, it's a bunch of quizzes that are created by listeners and they're fun and they're surprising. But there was something about hearing that song as I was doing production that made it feel like a slog to me for a second. Maybe it's something about that. I loved that song when we first started using it, but there's something cloying about it. There's something like almost aggressively earwormy about it.

I am so glad Conway Twitty is up in heaven where he can't hear you.

Yeah, well, of course, maybe if he's up in heaven, he can hear me. That was something that was always let's just start the Winter Games talking about this. That was always something that really messed with me growing up Catholic and then believing that any loved ones that died and went to heaven. For some reason, I don't know if this was taught to me or if it was just an assumption, but my assumption was that they became omniscient. And so therefore, they can just be popping in and spying on me at any moment. I really lived in my head. That was not a comfortable feeling.

well um now that you've started the i would say borderline inappropriate conversation here during winter game number one let me just uh let me take that baton and say there was the the now disgraced comic louis ck had a bit about that that i always thought was something i hadn't really thought of which is he was talking about some athlete after a game who had done really well and they dedicated their performance to their mother who had passed away but he knew was watching him uh play and louis ck said is a parent's work never done like you're in you're in heaven and then he you deserve a break describe this this mom in heaven and she wants to go do something fun in heaven and we're like are you coming to the thing and she's like my son has a football game i have to watch and i thought i mean considering i don't think any of that stuff is particularly real um i was a funny premise anyway i think that in heaven my i mean my mom

I'm not trying to put her in heaven before her time, obviously. She is still here with us, thankfully. But I like to think that when she gets to heaven, she will be wearing that big button that was made of my freshman, of a photo of me in my freshman football uniform looking just, just miserable. Just like the most miserable 15-year-old you could ever see in a practice uniform. I like to think she's wearing one of those big buttons on her lapel.

I'm trying to imagine my mom hitting heaven and, like, what the vibe would be for her there. And, like, you know, my mom would do great in heaven, I think. And she will do great. Let's choose to believe it. And she's been preparing for this, yes. She really has been preparing for it. But I think she's going to love it because she loves talking to people. I assume everyone's going to be in a pretty deece mood. I hope. You know? I think, yeah, I think she's going to do really well. For me, it depends on if you can bring your phone or not. Yeah. If you can't bring your phone, it's going to be a – I'd say it's going to be a tough first thousand years for me adjusting to not having my phone.

You know how I know that – of course, I shouldn't bring this up because I think it's a bit of an annoyance to you. But here's how I know that I'm not too addicted to my phone because I turned – I was at a concert this weekend, and I turned off my phone at the beginning of the concert because I just didn't want it to go off like at all, right? And then I was home for a couple of hours before I realized that my phone had been off for most of the afternoon. And I never once was kind of like, huh, I wonder what's going on. on on my phone right now you know what's really funny is the two two of the people I work most closely with that would be you and then my friend Elena Passarello over on Livewire are the two people who are I know that if I were to call either of you probably the lowest chance of anyone in my life of picking up would be the two of you you because uh you don't have your phone you're just not like staring at your phone a ton I think sometimes you have the ringer off it's just not it's it's atypical that I call you and you answer you always get back to me in a timely fashion but and then elena literally doesn't know where her phone is ever which i am impressed as heck by because that also speaks to a kind of lack of uh you know it being an obsession or something that you're constantly uh you know kind of like looking to for some sort of feedback or good feeling or serotonin release very very frequently uh we're doing the show and there's something sometimes uh on certain nights we'll have her uh play the theme song from her phone Kind of as a funny thing Like if we were doing a live show that was on Zoom She would never know where her phone is She literally has no idea where it is most of the time And that's probably The yin and the yang For me is I am way too into my phone And so I somehow naturally gravitate Towards people that are much more take it or leave it

Yeah I'm trying to think I just love the fact that we're starting the Winter Games With so much heaven talk Now I'm trying to think what is my Version of I hope I can bring My phone to heaven you know what I mean Like, I really like playing. I know what it is. I like playing my games. Yeah. Is it some video game? Hex Empire. Can you bring Hearthstone? Can you bring Hearthstone? Can you bring your map game? I just learned about that. What's your map game? Well, the map game is Civilization VI. We talked about Civ V way, way, way back in the day when I was playing that. And that's a game I'll put down for a long time. Then I'll pick it up again. You know, it's like a majorly enhanced game of Risk, sort of. And I've been playing that for a decade now. I do wonder if it would be something like that Yeah something or like my Madden football game or my MLB Game where I don't know if I ever told you This I oh this would be a Funny thing I'll bring it up on another show In the future but at one Point I realized that this this dorky MLB game I play called Things just called RBI Baseball I think it's been around since we were kids but They just keep yeah I used to play it when I was a Kid I realized at a certain Point this last baseball season that if I play on a certain level like you can just start by playing you know that year's Seattle Mariners team right so let's say the last version of this game I have is 20 let's just say 2021 I'm not sure um I can just you know log on and play the Seattle Mariners and play that roster and move people around or whatever but then what I realized is oh the game in the version I play I can trade for any players I want, and I have it set in this way that all trades will be approved by the other team. So I started – this started when you and I were playing fantasy baseball. I can't believe I didn't tell you about this. The first thing I did was I created an RBI baseball team that mirrored our fantasy baseball team because I wanted to see if I could play as our fantasy baseball team, and that was fun. But the thing is, that was still based on kind of a draft that we did, so I didn't have all the best players. Now I have a team, Luke, where I just went through and I found the best player. And I looked some of this up because you know me. I don't know the league that well. But I basically assembled a team. I call it a B team. The B is for baseball. But it's an A team of baseball that every position player I have is the best in their field. So I basically just have this incredibly juiced baseball team wearing the uniforms of the Seattle Mariners. I don't know if there's even any real Mariners on that team. I might have kept Kyle Seeger because I don't even think that's true. What does Tatis play? Is he third base? No. Anyway, I'm going to get over my skis here. But, yeah, when I want to just unwind, I'll go turn on my RBI baseball and just play the most juiced team I could possibly make with that year's rosters and then just kind of work my way through the schedule. I think I am now – I honestly think that my team right now is 27-0.

so these these the war the win over replacement that these players present is felt in the game

it's pretty much like shooting fish in a barrel it is yes and every now and then and so and it also has an automated we should really get to this today's quiz but it also has the listeners

nothing puts the listeners in the christmas spirit like a little good win over replacement

i would take my war to heaven um i uh oh i think that it has the game has an automatic mercy rule so that if i end up getting more than 10 runs over whatever my opponent has and we get to the the bottom you know the bottom of the inning it'll just end the game for me like i can't turn that off so let's just say that it's the end of

the third inning and I just got like you know a bunch of runs and now the score is like 13 to 2 the game will just automatically end with the mercy rule for my opponent and so now that's how I challenge myself I try to reach that mercy rule as early in the game as possible I want I knew

something was off about what I was saying and and you know for me uh heaven would be uh you know just eating uh round table pizza and looking at tiktok but for our listeners hell is me messing up win above replacement saying over replacement we're saying war it's not war it's war it's win above replacement um but in parts of pennsylvania they do call it war i believe they do oh yeah you're gonna go d on the store and see if you can work on my war um the other thing i'll say very quickly then we got to go to a break is rbi baseball is the game i was playing when i shattered my friend peter williams's tooth by throwing the nintendo controller at him really i didn't know old rbi baseball when you had those plump little players that that would that game had i don't know if it was a bug or a feature but that was the game where you could just as a base runner you could just get in a pickle and just keep kind of going back and forth and as the uh the person you know who's playing defense i guess if you threw the ball you know between say your first baseman and your second baseman who had the runner in a rundown after like x number of throws the game In order to try to recreate the randomness Of real baseball would introduce a throwing error

Oh yeah

And so that's what would happen is Peter would get in between the base paths And he didn't do this all the time He was just doing this one time And then I would just try to run him down in the pickle And then eventually it would generate a throwing error And then he would go and then run between second and third And then between third and home and score He could score an infinite A seemingly infinite number of runs using this practice Because there was no way around it I guess I could have just given the ball to the player Who was you know At the base he was trying to get to And then just it would be a standoff But I chose violence, Andrew And I chose to throw a Nintendo controller

You're like, yeah, here, there's no There's no throwing error here And you just throw the controller right in his face Of course, that does, I mean, it sort of sounds like a cheat But not to take his side But you could have done the same thing when you were on Offense

Absolutely, I just wasn't as good at it Yeah, yeah No, 100% I definitely was the I was I was very war-like in that moment, Andrew. And I don't mean win above replacement. So, okay. It's actually kind of apropos that we're talking about vintage video games and things that loomed fairly large in my childhood. Because when we come back, the first TVTL Winter Game appears to be, now, you're going to be giving me this quiz, Andrew, but it appears to be something revolving around the career of one action star known as Steven Seagal. And it's got a great name. And it was submitted by listener, Mike. sweet. So we will play that game with the great name when we return here on the TBTL Winter Games. Stay with us. This, I'm going to be honest with you, I have a memory like we have used this song for something on the show. It feels very familiar

to me i don't think so i'm looking it up this just came out in the past several months and i don't

think this has come up on the show recently got it okay well my memory is yeah it's hazy andrew like the shade of winter we find ourselves in here on the tv chill winter games okay tell me about this first game submitted by listener mike okay so yep submitted by mike that's the first

thing to know. The next thing to know is that it's called Close But No Seagal, which I mean, that's a pretty good spoof. That is so good. And Mike says, during last year's, or I guess this year's Summer Games, Luke suggested that someone should make a quiz based on the titles of Steven Seagal movies. He then read a list of movies, basically spoiling the answers to any such quiz. But that was several months ago, and I'm willing to guess that those titles have slipped from his ironclad memory by this point. If you're willing to be right, I hear my memory. So here's a quiz I'm calling Close But No Seagal. God, I love that. Attaches a list of movie titles. Some of them are actual Steven Seagal movies, and some are not. If I made this sheet correctly, when you click on the real Seagal titles, it should link to the corresponding movie trailer. And the ones that I make up will link to a video for Girl, It's All Right, a song by Steven Seagal.

Oh, my gosh. Once again, the listeners are proving themselves to be superior radio producers to us, allegedly professional radio producers. This is amazing. And again, you're absolutely right, Mike. I have no memory of the name of any of those Steven Seagal movies. And your whole theory, without looking it up or possibly spoiling this segment, your whole theory is that they all basically followed sort of a rhythm, right? All the titles kind of fit into some sort of box that is hard to describe, but it's always... I don't know. How can you describe what the format is of a Seagal title? It's a thing is happening to someone, and it sounds ominous. It always sounds ominous, that's for sure. We know that Seagal will prevail in the end, even though he is in a specific situation or on a specific situation. It's always a little bit vague, but it sounds like someone's in danger. But but we're going to find out exactly what Stephen gets up to this time. Now, I'd like to get through as many of these as possible. There are 10 total. I don't know if we'll get to them all, but let's start with a start at the beginning. Luke, that's where I like to begin. Your first movie title, real or fake? You tell me half past dead. Oh, that is a great place to start because that sounds familiar to me. Sounds very Seagal, but also sounds very much like it could be made up. It's half past dead is like, I mean, it's still slightly alive. It almost makes sense, but it doesn't, right? What is the expression? It's like half past noon or half past three o'clock. Half past dead is you're more dead than alive at that point. Uh-huh, right. Again, it also sounds like it's an outtake from the Miracle Max scene in the Princess Bride. Two blades. Half Past Dead is still slightly alive. I am going to say it is a Steven Seagal movie, Half Past Dead. Okay, I'm going to click on this link. If you're right, we will hear a trailer for that movie. If you're wrong, we will hear the Steven Seagal song, Girl, It's All Right. Which I have never heard. Here we go. Half Past Dead is a real... oh this is a trailer baby they lived life on the edge a bad man a bad man andrew i'm a kick yo until the night you expected somebody it all went wrong okay i don't know how much of this you want to hear but i love all of it but we're not going to get through all 10 great that's great half past dead but the next time i'm in a tight spot andrew or or even just i don't know i'm feeling it i'm just gonna say i'm a bad man i'm a bad man that's my new thing man okay i am gonna kick your i'm a bad man are you ready for one i like

it half past dead it's a real seagal film free to die oh man these are so free to die that is so perfect that is absolute the other thing about seagal though of course is i feel like at any moment anytime you know we're recording this show he is somewhere probably in eastern europe filming some kind of just truly forgettable action pick but you know camaro kev is a real seagal head and sure knows all things seagal and he's he's always sending little things like scenes like seagal will be in these films now where he never and i say this with all due respect to what everyone's sort of physical abilities are and where everyone's at with their physical bodies. But, you know, Steven Seagal's The Origin, his early days, he was a martial arts expert and he was very physically active in these films. And as he's gotten older and what would appear to be in less great shape, he moves less and less. And it's like they start to write these scenes for him where he's sitting a lot more than he used to, like in scenes that don't, they seem like he'd be better off if he were standing maybe. And so he could be making a film called, what's this one? That one, the one that you're working on now is called Free to Die. He could be working on a film called Free to Die in Romania right now or something like it. I am going to say it's real. I'm going to say he's really in a movie called Free to Die or was in a movie called Free to Die. Sorry, friend. This is the song, Girl, It's All Right, which means Free to Die is not actually a movie. Girl, it's all right. Do you know this song? I've never heard it before in my life. There it is. Girls All Right. The video has a lot of Orientalism in it. He's on lead vocals, of course. He's got a backup band. I don't hate the guitar riff. It's familiar but soothing. It's of a time. I'm straight out of a Jack Johnson or Jason Mraz type of situation. So I'm afraid to say, though, that you did get that one incorrect. You got the first one correct, though, right? You got Half Past Dead, Free to Die. I'm one for one. three is you're dead yet that's the you're one for two it's the movie pete carroll wrote for

steven seagal yes dead yet yes compete dead now um okay number three beneath the night does steven seagal have a movie called beneath the night that is a very good

name for a possible Seagal film, Beneath the Night. I'm a bad man. At a certain hour, we all are Beneath the Night in a way, in that we all live on this planet, and the night sky is what it is. I am going to say that is not a real Steven Seagal film. I'm going to say it's fake. I'm going to hopefully hear the... Wait, if I say it's not a real film and it is a real film, I still get the Seagal song, right? The Seagal song tells me I'm wrong no matter what.

No, no, if you hear this, you're saying it's fake, which means if you hear Girl, It's All Right, it means you got this one right, and Mike is not able to trick you, okay? Got it. So Beneath the Night is a real movie. I've never rooted more to hear Girl, It's All Right by Steven Seagal. As did anybody. There you go. You've got to listen to the whole thing every time. Don't worry, it's only six and a half minutes long.

All right, girl, it's all right. I think we found our summer games music. Will we remember to do this for one of the first summer games in six months? That's the real question. I certainly hope not. Okay, I've got two right and one wrong. We're three questions through. Let's see how many we can how many we can pack in in the next nine or so minutes beyond the law. Oh, I think that is I think I feel like he was in a movie called Above the Law. So I think this is a clever play on that. But and again, to the degree that I do remember this, it's like, why brain? Why is this what you remember? Why do you why? Why is your brain, you know, held on to Steven Seagal being in a movie called Above the Law? When, in fact, I can't remember so many important things like loved ones' birthdays. But I seem to remember him being in something called Above the Law. Therefore, I think this is a made-up Steven Seagal title, meaning I think I'm about to hear, for the third time, girl, it's all right.

But it's never enough.

What did you do, kid?

This is the trailer for Beyond the Law, of course.

That's a real Seagal film?

In a city full of crime. This is the text on screen.

He's the dirtiest cop I ever knew. I'm a bad man.

Look, you're not a cop anymore.

Stop on your knees!

One man will go. You sure about that? Beyond the Law. Yeah, he's not in his healthiest frame here. I don't know when this came out. So that must be relatively new then. Yep, yep. It looks like about 20... This was posted to YouTube in 2019, so yeah. Did I hallucinate that he was in something called Above the Law, too? I mean, it could be related, or it just could prove your theory that launched this quiz, right? I'm looking it up now. Above the Law. No, he was.

1988, Above the Law. I only looked that up because we've now put it out there. So I guess if it comes up later, and maybe this was Mike's master plan, and sorry if I'm messing with it, Mike. So obviously this is some sort of follow-up to that. You went above the law, and I was going beyond. You really went above and beyond the law this time, Officer Seagal.

That would be the next one, above and beyond the law. And then mine would be extra mile. Right, and then attention to detail with the law would be the next one. Okay, so beyond the law, you got that one wrong. I believe you're two out of four now. I'm a bad man Andrew You're a bad man I'm a bad quiz man I'm a bad quiz person All right Slay the Spire

Oh my gosh I am tempted to say yes Because it is so out there And it's so If Mike was trying to come up with something That sounded so Gaul-ish That's so That's so different than the conventions That it makes me think it's real Because he wouldn't make it up How's that for a little bit? I know Bob How's that for some brain power? You knew that I wouldn't put that Iocane powder. Inconfeivable. Boy, second Princess Bride reference on this episode. I am going to say that's a real Seagal movie. I hope it is.

Oh, nuts to you, McGillicuddy. Hoisted on your own petard. You overthought it.

I had. Wow. That's really. cagey by listener mike yeah no i mean what did he what was the fake he's the quiz he's the quiz master slay the spire is the name of that song slay the spire i'm sorry the name of that made up movie that's so weird that was great okay i'm too i'm wait a minute i got two right and three wrong yeah so you need to we need to um we need to get you at least a winning record for you here today uh question number six title number six fire down below okay this one i think is a seagal film okay fire down below because again he was in this well i don't you know if i i don't want to say the names of some actual seagal films then if it comes up later it's anticlimactic but i think he was like a dishwasher for a lot of these movies and he was always like the humble dishwasher who was down below deck and then shit was going on and then he came up and had to karate chop everyone. So I think Fire Down Below is a real Seagal film. Beneath the gently rolling hills of Appalachia. Whoa! So is he a miner in this one? A coal miner? I got 50,000 barrels of cyanide rolling down there right now. Protected by the silence of a town living in fear. Young and the dying. we have a special vision to our community now an outsider has come into their world it's him you really are new here gotta stand out and open to our to reveal the danger he winces and whispers the Seagal School of Acting wincing and whispering he also was hired I believe to give a acting workshop where did the guy from Succession get Pacino to Yale To Yale, exactly. It's a master class. Winston and Whispering. Wow. So that is a real Seagal film where I'm guessing because it's West Virginia, the down below involves the mines. It looks like, yeah, it looks like it's a mining community, I think. But they have this explosive rolling down there. There's maybe going to be some terrorist activity or potentially, I don't know if it's terrorism or if it's just theft of some sort. But, yeah, fire down below, 1997. So that's peak Seagal right there See I seem to I feel like he was in a movie called Below Deck But that's also a reality show That's about people I don't think this is on the list so I don't mind saying it You're thinking of the one where he's a cook Is Under Siege That's Under Siege okay yeah yeah yeah You think there's another one called Below Deck No I think I'm just I think I'm conflating The Bravo reality show About people on a luxury yacht Kind of upstairs downstairs of it I think I'm confusing that with Under Siege. Yeah, and the Poseidon Adventure, both versions, by the way, of the Poseidon Adventure are worth a watch. Ernest Borgnine is in both of those films, I believe. Both The Seagal and The Poseidon Adventure?

Yep. So Slay the Spire, Fire Down Below. You get Fire Down Below correct. Yeah, you're three. I got three out of three. Three right, three wrong. Right, I like that. Do you want to keep going here? I do, I really do. So I want to try to see if I can slay the spire here in the last four questions. How about Driven to Kill? Oh, my God. Driven to Kill. These really fit a pattern. Again, it really helps how many bad movies Seagal is making at any one time. Because I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say that sounds like a Seagal film. I've not heard of it, but it very much could be one of his movies. Driven to Kill? When they leave, we go in. Yes. They got the guy from Seinfeld music to do the intro. A former Russian mobster. The font is so bad. Is coming home. Now Kramer's walking through the door on his daughter's wedding day. What's the deal with terrorists? He's coming home on his daughter's wedding day. There is an abuse of ellipses here to discover she has been brutally attacked. Is that a show title? oh the so this is 2009 so we're getting into some later seagull here let's see there might be a little bit of dialogue and then i'll let this go you do know whose family your daughter was marrying into right my father is a gangster and he expects me to come crawling back someday maybe to turn into someone like you this looks like the cheapest made movie ever it looks so terrible just so terrible what's it called again that is called that one was called Driven to Kill Driven to Kill Now number 8 I'm giving you another opportunity here to keep your winning streak alive because I believe you're now 4 4 right 3 wrong Into the Sun Into the Sun Into the Sun Well they went at night Into the Sun Into the Sun I am saying that is not a Stevenson

Seagal film. You're going to say that's not a Steven Seagal film, so you want to hear some Girl, It's Alright here, but will you? Tokyo, Japan.

Yes! Wait, oh no, it is a film. The prime empire has flourished since the time of the sunrise. Oh, the sun like the Yakuza. Yes. But a new breed of criminal has emerged. There's always a new breed of criminal. Together, Japan and America. To stop them and the drug empire they control, the FBI will need more than satellites and space-age technology. They'll need a guy whose hair is mostly powder They'll have to turn to the one man who has mastered the traditions of old Look who has returned One last piece of work

Okay, so even though they have all of the power of the space program They still need a man with a sword is the point there

Now, I know that we need to be So I was wrong on that So now it's four right, four wrong I know that I know that talking about people's appearances is a dangerous road and something we don't generally do I do feel like somebody like Steven Seagal who's benefited greatly financially and otherwise from being in films particularly when he was young and conventionally handsome I do feel like it's a little bit fairer territory than if it were just a random citizen civilian minding their own business I also want to preface this by saying I am a person who is on the record as putting like hair powder in my hair so that it looks a little bit fuller. But the amount of Topic or a similar product that they are now having to utilize to create a plausible hairline for Steven Seagal is truly incredible to look at. It is, because he doesn't have a lot of his natural hair anymore. But the thing about those products is they're, I think it's called like keratin fibers, and they're basically static charged. So they stick to your hair, and they really thicken it up. Like, it's amazing. And you could have like you could have just very thin, fine hair that's not even visible to the naked eye on top of your head, even though maybe you looked pretty bald. But those hairs would actually attract this these keratin protein fibers or whatever they are. And you can if you put enough on, you can have a thick looking head of hair from far away. But real heads know what you're doing. And it's just I'm just imagining The hair and makeup process Particularly the hair process For old Seagal Just watching Looking at this This freeze frame From Driven to Kill It's really quite something Now of course You look that up afterwards

We just need to let everybody know Afterwards Of course Afterwards I'm not cheating Okay so you've got Eight down This is a quiz of ten Although I see Yeah let's just power Through the last two Something's a little bit Confusing here for me But Listener might put in Some real work on this Question number nine Until it's done Whoa Isn't that the Sex and the City reboot? I think so And just like that

And then there's that Well there's that So there's that That would be great I was recently chastised Oh I gotta not do this Jump around into time space continuum It's annoying to the listeners But yes As we're recording this of course it's before our break And before some of regular TBTL has happened, but I was chastised by our friend Jen Flash Andrews for – I really think I thought it was sex in the city.

Dude, I was posting – we had talked about – I think we had mentioned something about sex in the city in a recent episode before we had that text exchange with Jen. And I had it on the website or almost on the website as sex in the city. And then I had to go back and change it because I realized I'd made the same mistake that you'd made in the text conversation.

conversation and i had shortened it i was trying to be brief oh right so i had it s i t c sex in the city and jen responded it's sex and the city how many times we have to do this which makes me

i must have made that mistake a lot in the olden days of the show years now i love it okay so a

second last question until it's done wait until it's done until it's done oh gosh i am going to say that is not a real Seagal film. It's not a real thing. I'm hoping to hear Girl, It's All Right. And the words of that song will really be, Luke, it's all right, because you got the answer. Yes! Woo-hoo!

Five right, four wrong. Yes. I just want to hear him say, Girl, It's All Right. It's going to happen any second.

That part's a little pitchy to me, dog.

Girl, it's all right. There it is. Okay. Girl, it's all right. Okay, congratulations, luke one more yeah we have one more here without a paddle

thank you for softballing me listener mike at the end that is not a seagal film i believe without a paddle is that joe pesci film jerry can't commit

the role of nagging girlfriend anymore so it is a movie but I guess the joke is it's not a Stephen Saccol film but it sounds like one is David Spade in this who's in it's you know I recognize Shepard oh is it where they go to prison right no that's let's go to prison but this is a Dax Shepard and also Matthew Lillard that's the other person and Seth Green yeah see Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard remind me of each other so much and they're both even moving even though they actually don't look i'm looking at a still from the from the film now they actually don't look super similar but in my mind they kind of occupied the same space funnily enough they were the people who wore bodog.com t-shirts to play in the world series of poker which led to my friends winning millions of dollars from the guy who won the tournament wait the shirts had something to do with the winning oh man we're almost we don't enough time now we're going along i'll give you i'll give you the 30 second version because i've told the story about a trillion times my poker friends from la basically uh saved somebody who had gotten a free buy-in to the big poker tournament um the world series of poker uh and they had gotten they had been given uh this free uh buy-in to the term which is ten thousand dollars because they claimed this person named jamie gold claimed to be a big time hollywood agent and that he was going to get various famous people to show up and wear the t-shirts that had the promotion of a sports betting website called bodog.com so bodog was going to give this jamie gold guy the money to buy into the tournament and he was going to get james gandolfini and others to show up and wear their merch which then would end up ultimately on television he turned out to not know them or be a hollywood agent called my friend and said you know anyone famous my friend said i know matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard Probably fresh off of making without a paddle They showed up and they wear The t-shirts in the tournament The dude gets the He gets his spot And what he was supposed to do originally was give my Friends five grand he owed them five Grand for half of the winnings but he said I don't even have the Five or for half of the buy-in but he said I don't even have the five Grand so the deal is I'll give you half Of whatever I win in the tournament they didn't Like that deal because they assumed it would be Nothing he won twelve million dollars Love it 12 million dollars I believe in the neighborhood of 12 million dollars Which he had to split some Significant portion of with my friends All thanks in a roundabout way To Dax Shepard and Matthew Lillard Good for everybody Involved you know what i'm realizing is without a paddle that's probably got to be sort of like a deliverance

echoes of deliverance because they go on a they go on a rafting trip and then things go sideways and i just can't imagine a movie that's a comedy that was made in that era didn't have one you know you got a pretty mouth yeah sure banjo type of scene yeah um it's interesting that um it wouldn't be the work of steven seagal that would be the most possibly reductive film that we end up referencing during the steven seagal quiz close but no seagal thank you mike for putting that together that was truly awesome uh we need to thank some donors of the day before we get out of here these are the people who may or may not have written us quizzes but we know they're writing us checks andrew and that's pretty important too to making the show possible donna trainham of baltimore maryland thank you donna also sierra barsati is in chico california thank you sierra susan detrick actually in watkinsville georgia that sounds like a place tom petty can be from i know that that was weeks ago i know no one even knows what i'm talking Actually, that was just one week ago. That was one week ago today. In my mind, it feels like that could be where Tom Petty is from. And also, that was not long ago for me in terms of my day. Becky Finch is in West Jordan, Utah. Thank you, Becky. An ooter. Is that what you call somebody from Utah, an ooter? Uh-huh. Yes, you do. You call them an ooter. And Tom Petty has that song, Even the Ooters. You're lucky sometimes. That's right. Aaron Highland is in Bellevue, Washington And then Tricia Parker is out there in Lincoln, Nebraska Thank you, Tricia Thank you, Aaron Thank you to all of our donors of today For making the show possible Even during the Winter Games When we are maxing and relaxing And being all cool And enjoying some Christmas tunes And, you know, the holiday spirit Even on these days When we're turning in slightly shorter shows We very much appreciate your support and making it possible for us to have this as our job. So thank you.

Um, all right. Uh, I was thinking for this, you know, first week of the winter game, since we are leading up to Christmas, maybe we can go out with some, with some Christmas tunes. How about sleigh ride by Ella Fitzgerald?

A classic. I like that. And I know that we have to get out of here because we again have more of these to record and we don't want to dilly dally too much, but I did want to ask you before we get out of here, do you, uh, what do you think heaven's like? You know, it's well, it's not too far away.

Okay. Also it's a place It's a place here on earth I have a lot of theories about heaven just based on pop songs

Yeah right yeah Now I'm out though now I choked This is why I should not have an improv special I'm really worried about my Netflix Improv special

Heaven isn't too far away

Who is that?

That's Warrant I believe That is a good song You make heaven Heaven is a place on earth We've done these two How about Heaven I'm in heaven Heaven is a place where your heart beats so

That you can hardly speak Andrew Do you know I wrote a song about heaven Called I didn't understand the phrase I wrote a song called Heaven believe I love you Oh no no no What was that What's the phrase that means I was a kid and I didn't realize I was using the phrase incorrectly And I was writing a love song in the back seat of the Oldsmobile, Heaven Forbid I Love You, was I didn't know what the phrase Heaven Forbid meant, and I just had heard it around, and so I was writing a love, what I thought to be a love song called Heaven Forbid I Love You, and I think one of my parents overheard me and then explained to me that that actually is not a concept that really fit what I was going for. Just some light feedback.

Let's see. I know about, if I were to travel to heaven, I'd probably take like a stairway. Oh, and she – do you want to go out with that full song, Stairway to Heaven? I'm trying to think of, like, if I – I don't really know the lyrics. I mean, I know the song pretty well, but I'm like – it's very Tolkien-esque. It's very like, there's a lady I'm told, all that glitters is gold and she's – or something like that.

No, you're right. And there's something about a hedgerow. If you have a something in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now. It's just a sprinkly for vaquy. I've heard that song about a million times in my life. Oh, it always sounds like it's just a sprinkly for vacui. I think it's something it's spring something for the May Queen. I don't know, man. What about I'm not a doctor?

Mama, take my guns. I don't need them anymore. That would be knocking on heaven's door.

Yes, I knew that gun. And I know that they didn't write that, but I knew that there was a Guns and Roses song that I was trying to land on. I kept on coming back to November rain. I'm like, that is not the word heaven has a V in it, though.

Oh, I'm still unclear on How Far Heaven Is. That's a Los Lonely Boys song. How far is heaven? That was like one of the one good songs on the jukebox at the Tattletail. R.I.P. I drove by the Tattletail when I was in Los Angeles a while ago. I mean, not to go there, but I just happened to be on Sepulveda Boulevard, drove past it, and it was rough. Yeah, I bet you that's very depressing. Not there. It is very much the new place, and it was very much empty. Okay. That's everything I've got on heaven. Okay. All right. We emptied the clip on that.

Let's go out with Sleigh Ride by Ella Fitzgerald.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We're going to be back here tomorrow with another edition of the TBTL Winter Game, so do join us for that. Until then, have a great Monday. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Ding, ting, tingling, too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling you Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you Giddy-yap, giddy-yap, giddy-yap, let's go, let's look at the show We're riding in a wonderland of snow Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap It's grand, just holding your hand We're gliding along with the song of a wintry fairyland Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy cozy Are we? Power out!

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