Muse

I will not tolerate monkeys living on campus. If I wanted to run a monkey hotel, I'd install a banana buffet. I'd use vines as elevators, and I'd put tail holes in the bathrobes, and I'd lower all the shower knobs. Well, you've really thought this through. And now it's your turn. Brainstorm. Idea shower. Spray your solutions all over me. Well, we could seal all the vents and then pump the ducts with some kind of gas that knocks out monkeys. Monkey knockout gas. Now that's the kind of grounded, sensible thinking I want to see this year.

TBTL! Don't you latte-sipping leeches understand? I've seen enough of these Hollywood super hunks. We need a dumpy, unappealing loser. An everyman.

Here's a sentence I never thought I'd say, but if you thought a sausage couldn't really hurt anyone, frankly, think again.

I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row. There is something about the soul of a snake.

Call Kenny Loggins, because you're in the danger zone from Top Gun. Just be careful. No.

You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen, and the if that you heard was the things that these people just said.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TVTL, a show that just might be too beautiful to live. They sound un-fricking-incredible together. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. You paint your bald spot? What bald spot? Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center in Portland, Oregon, where it's not dry. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. It's in fact wet. Day four of home confinement because of the Omicron, although I did take a test, a home test, which just told me I have reached negative status, apparently. Does that mean I have to start going back outside? It was nice and peaceful here in the apartment, here in the Hollywood Broadcast Center. Well, until this morning, when I woke up to an ear-shattering mystery sound, and then the mystery got solved, we'll talk about that coming up. Also, I'd like to mention this is episode 3597 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

I'm not one for Crossword. I'm not one for Sudoku, for Boggle, for any of those kind of pastime games that people get into. I wish that I was into them. I don't have the mental brains for it. But I did play Wordle this morning, and I think I get what the hype is about. You play to win the game. It's funny how I came back from whatever I was doing, I guess Texas Maybe it was even before that Basically, I think I came back from vacation Where I wasn't reading the internet much And I wasn't on Twitter I was just kind of mostly off my phone And everyone was posting those little kind of wordle graphs, if you will Or the results of their wordle games And my first thought was deep annoyance at the people who were doing that I don't know why. That's a weird reaction. But then today, I finally decided to play it, and I got it, and then I immediately wanted to post on Twitter my Wordle result. Speaking of games, we're going to see how we do on the Jeopardy questions that current just reigning champion Amy Schneider, she is just like a hot knife through butter out there on the Jeopardy, But she hasn't got every single question right. And we will see if we can get some of the questions correct that she, in fact, messed up on. Never let me slip, because if I slip, then I'm slipping. Because if she couldn't get it, I'm sure that we'll be able to get them. And then we've got an email from a listener. We've been talking about cheating and forging and lying and deception.

Well, we know you're good at lying.

This listener email is quite the journey, and we're all going to go on it together. involving lies and manipulation that got way out of control. Oh, and also because it's a Thursday, a.k.a. a Blur's Day.

Blur's Day today.

We'll do the Blur's Day messages. We'll do all of it with the help of this young man, the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is Andrew Walsh. And he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. Luke, I have a bit of an infection myself, but don't worry.

not of the COVID or Omicron variety, but I am getting, this is no exaggeration, I'm looking this up now, I am getting about three to five scam phone calls an hour now. Dude, I was just getting one while you were saying that. Have you been getting them like non-stop though?

When you started talking to me, I got a call from somewhere called Norman G, Texas. In the 936.

See, I'm not getting – actually, I'm going to play one of these for you. This is a common scam. I looked it up today because I wanted to see, like, is this something that's going around? For weeks, I've been getting this, like – it's a robo voice saying they're calling from AT&T – from my AT&T DirecTV account, which, of course, I do not have. And that I can save 50% on future bills, but I have to call them back. Like, this is a scam that's been going around for quite some time, I believe. I believe years. I've heard it before. But I am now getting this, and I don't know if, I guess it's okay to play this, right? Like, why not? Let's see here.

Hi there. I am calling you from AT&T DirecTV to let you know that your existing account is qualified for 50% off. In order to avail the discount, kindly call us back at...

Okay, I'll stop it there. I'm going to just say good use of avail.

Yeah, not the most unpleasant robot to call you, I suppose.

Considering how, like, chopped and screwed those scams usually are, like, I'm amazed that they used Avail mostly correctly. They should play Wordle.

I am maybe exaggerating a little bit when I say up to five per hour because I'm looking at my call log. But this morning I got one at 8.05, 8.06, 9 a.m., 9.31, 9.37, 9.49. That's where we are now. As we're recording, it's about 20 minutes after 10. So it's been a reprieve of about a half hour so far. Yesterday, it looks like I got 15 of them during the day, and they all come from a different number. I keep blocking the number, but every single one is a different number. I don't know what to do. I mean, at this point, like I've just been ignoring my phone, which is, you know, it's been a real sacrifice for me, Luke. I, you know, I just like I kind of don't know what to do. It's annoying. Every time I look down, it's just like you have three new messages.

is my experience with that is i've done the same thing where you just keep blocking keep blocking and then i don't know why but at some point it moves on like it just stops focusing on your phone number because i was getting uh the same thing although what i was getting last week were texts to the same effect and it kept saying was a text going you you're existing variety or you're existing something account i think they were saying direct tv as well which i also don't have direct tv because it's not the 90s and i so i i knew it to be a scam right away but it's kind of interesting how i is that you think that's the same outfit and i got i got i was selected for the text bomb and you were selected for the voicemail bomb and it's just like you know what

i did this morning it's you know what it's like luke it is like when i suddenly feel like i'm having like allergies during like I will get hit with like what seems like seasonal allergies from time to time but I'm never in sync with the rest of the world like I'll like wake up a couple of days in a row just like sneezing like crazy or being blocked up in the spring and I'll go and I'll look at the pollen count because I just want I just want something online to say like this makes sense for a reason and whenever I do that I go to the pollen count website and always says nope things are pretty good in your area right now it's going to get worse later in the year and I just don't get that satisfaction of like there's a reason for this and so today i'm just like at&t direct tv call like there's tons of posts about this is a scam and at&t even has something on their website but that's going back like a couple of years now but there's nothing like in the news i want the news to tell me like yes uh you know cell phone owners around the country are being you know there's an onslaught of these of these scam calls but no there's no indication that there's any anything going on outside of my phone right now and like you said maybe i'm just going to get inundated and it's going to move on but it just feels like i don't know when when does the

end come andrew it's like i've always said in talk radio you got to play the hits yeah you want to turn on your news and you want them to be talking about the thing you're thinking about yes you don't want to be disappointed you don't hear some esoterica about a weird mystery sound in their apartment no you want to hear that everyone's getting that there's a nationwide a worldwide spam voicemail problem and the right people are on it like several calls an hour just seems like a

lot to me throughout the day right like that's more than usual I realize like just complaining about spam phone calls isn't like the probably like the most edge of your seat podcasting you can do but something's going on and it definitely feels like I have contracted something that's how

it feels right now i mean have you been k95 in your phone that's the whole thing keep it in the cloth mask like

it yeah yeah yeah but it's a really cool cloth mask that has a bat bat symbol on it mine says this mask is as useless as my governor i am still deeply curious about something that unfolded on the airplane behind me andrew when i was flying from austin to las vegas last week involving a mask all i know is the flight attendant came and told the person next to me or behind me rather the man behind me that the he had talked to the pilot and they had decided that his mask was profane and he needed to turn it around oh my and you don't know what it says no because i didn't want to whip my head around oh i just know but this was the funny part the guy was very apologetic i mean i think what he realized is he really wanted to go to vegas yeah sure like he didn't want to be one of those he wasn't going to get zip tied and carried off the plane because he was he went from wearing some mask that, and I looked at him generally, and he was kind of a, he had looked pretty MAGA-y, so my guess is that there was a middle finger on his mask or, I don't know, would they pull him off for Let's Go Brandon? No, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Where a guy stuck a Let's Go Brandon sticker in the urinal in the Austin airport, and as I wrote on Twitter, the joke is definitely not on that guy. Yeah, what's... The urinal.

Yeah, right. That and also you're peeing. Yeah, what am I, Calvin and this is a Ford? And also like in what is the if you don't like buy like, OK, remember I went to that terrible like the Blue Lives Matter MAGA bar that was in that was in Palm Springs of all places like on the outskirts of Palm Springs. It's like where everybody's conservative dad probably goes like a block away and play bleep the police. What we did is we were running the jukebox the whole time, and then when we left the bar, we just decided to program in 911 as a joke, like, to play three times in a row. But after we were already out of there. But the problem was, like, it was our style bar, as in it was, like, kind of a comfortable dive bar, except it was uncomfortable. It was almost like, as I described it on the show those many years ago, it was almost like a Magic Eye game where suddenly things started to come into focus a little bit. And then they really came into focus when I went into the restroom and they had like some sort of sticker of Hillary Clinton in the urinal so that you were to pee on Hillary Clinton. But it's not like they have a sticker of Joe Biden that you're peeing on. You're peeing on something that says that essentially translates to screw Joe Biden. So if you're peeing on something that says screw Joe Biden, is that actually an act of support for Joe Biden? That's what I took it as, as I just absolutely hosed it down.

it was i i had the exact same thought i was like it's a double negative you keep using these stickers i do not think this means what you think that means like this we're peeing on the idea that you that you got your disgusting hands now more disgusting than putting them on the urinal like it just it just seemed like a loss on all fronts for that person but it turns out andrew that that may not be a coherent kind of uh strategy and worldview possibly brand in world i just had i Oh, sorry.

Go ahead.

I just want to say, just to wrap it up, I was really curious to know what the guy had on his mask that the flight attendant flagged and then went and talked to the pilot about it and then came back. But then again, the guy was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't have another mask. And then the flight attendant was like, well, you can just turn it around. He was like, OK, OK. So he went from being a real tough guy, whatever the mask was saying, to backtracking about as fast as you possibly can.

Are you surprised? I don't know why. This just popped in my head. are you surprised we haven't seen more of those rolling stone like you know the symbol for the rolling stones is like the oh yeah lips with the tongue like why don't why aren't we seeing more of those on masks i mean i wouldn't wear it personally it just sort of seems like a marketing opportunity because that is where one's mouth and tongue is i wonder if it's because of the

robust rolling stones trademark enforcement yeah like you could probably you know do some one-offs if you were to go into like a you know like a a head shop or something or a vape store maybe you know they'd have some over on the side that somebody printed up themselves but it seems like it might be a challenge to do a large-scale operation for some reason I just feel like it's a good chance that um that the Rolling Stones have a pretty have a pretty active trademark enforcement wing of the operation although this was something else that I uh I read during the break was Mick Jagger breaking down basically what happened when he went to that bar in I'm forgetting it may have been St. Louis St. Louis Louis Louis where he was photographed just kind of chilling and just had a beer by himself and somebody asked him about that photo you know because he's still doing press I guess or whatever for the um for the tour they're on or maybe the tour is wrapped but he talked about it and it was very delightful kind of loving Mick Jagger which is basically like he was like well you know um I don't have any kind of entourage and I know I just had a hat on and also I couldn't go inside because of COVID so I just sort of was standing The way he described it was just so nonchalant. I loved it.

You know, and also, wasn't there another follow-up that said that this is something that he often does? I know that we did one follow-up on the show. We did the original story. Then we did a follow-up that you had read about the reaction from the bar owner who happened to not be there that night and was disappointed.

Right, and people, customers who were there and didn't realize it was Mick Jagger.

And then I thought there was another article that came out later that said this is sort of Mick Jagger's thing. And this time it was just caught on camera But I'm, I don't know, I'm just grasping at straws here But I did just do a Google search And there are just so, so many face masks With that lips and tongue symbol all over the place So I guess somebody thought of that

Do we want to click on Carson Daly Talking about how Mick Jagger explains How he visited a North Carolina bar I am having a hard time thinking of a video that has less of a chance of paying off But

Do we think that it actually has Mick Jagger or is it going to be Carson Daly summarizing is the question

I bet you there will be a under four second clip of Mick Jagger Okay, let's hear Because the whole thing is 45 seconds The headline, Mick Jagger explains how he went unrecognized at North Carolina Bar And then you've got good old Carson Daly on the Today Show So here we go. Let's see.

As the Rolling Stones continue their cross-country no-filter tour, they're also taking some time to stop and enjoy the local hot spots of cities that they're playing in. So Mick, posting this photo on Instagram, writing, out and about last night in Charlotte.

Oh, Charlotte.

You're probably thinking he's there at this bar surrounded by security guards and the guards are keeping back fans who want to take selfies and all that. But no, it actually looks like no one noticed that Mick Jagger, the legend, was standing right there, fellow bar patrons completely oblivious to the Rolling Stones frontman. enjoying a beer at the counter and of course fans online couldn't believe it either a couple

of comments imagine running okay here's what i want to say this entire thing is 45 seconds long we're 34 seconds into it we have 11 seconds for mick jagger to based on the headline open up about the night he wandered into a charlotte bar that is what this thing promises the rolling stones front man opened up about the night he wandered into a charlotte bar he has 11 seconds to pull

this off so let's see what you got mick to mc jagger at a dive bar another writing looks like you're just waiting on a friend so the moral of the story is if the stones are playing in a town near you keep your eyes peeled at your local dives open up to be there that's a lie is that

isn't a gall darn that's a lie well we know you're good at lying that is not cool carson daly not cool and no time did truth i did say going and i had a very low level of confidence that that was but that even that was even worse than i expected you really think someone would do that just go

on the internet and tell lies yeah that's right i got arthur drops remember the kids show arthur that's what i'm it's what i'm bringing it's what i'm bringing to this drop fight you don't want

to get into a meme war oh you got so many memes you just keep throwing memes at them i can't believe that they did us that dirty in the words of Daniel Kaluuya but um anyway uh the thing I wanted to say quickly before we go to the break this is actually very satisfying Andrew ultimately but I woke up this morning and I was hearing a kind of a rumbling noise that I thought was you know I bought that pebble ice machine yeah which I really like the ice that it makes but it turns out it's a pretty large appliance and it's also very loud what it's making ice and there's nowhere for me to put it in the house other than the kitchen because this is not that big of a place and so while i'm sitting and it's an open concept so the kitchen and the living room just kind of flow into each other and i'll just be sitting there watching tv and just i'll be hearing the ice machine just chugging away i now feel like i have to consume four or five cups of ice a day to make the sound the noise pollution worth it so you don't like it it's not a comforting sound for real it's not it's hard to explain because it cycles through different things it's it's sort of inconsistent sometimes it'll be going really hard and then sometimes it'll just kind of stop and has to do with where it's at in the ice making process if it gets totally full it kind of chills out because it knows to stop making ice chill

But then it's chills out, Luke. But then as soon as I take some of it, it goes back to work. What I think this would be ideal if you had like a garage that was just off of, you know, your kind of laundry room or something. And you had like a, you know, some coolers out, refrigerator out there and some beer and this and that. You could go hang out and like go out there and get your special ice. like i would love to have this plugged in somewhere near my life but not as in my life as it is right now sure so i've i've been really i've been struggling with this because again i like the ice it also wasn't cheap and it's way after i can return it so when i woke up this morning i was just like i was just hearing the noise and i was like okay this is out of control this ice machine and so i went out and i unplugged it and it stopped the sound and i was like okay well that settles and i'm getting rid of this thing and then the noise started happening again and i was going i was wandering around the different rooms of the apartment like the the rca dog with my head cocked trying to figure out is it in the is it in the vents is it in the hvac i went out on the balcony i opened the hallway door and i was very distraught because i thought if this is some kind of a thing that vibrates like a you know a a piece of metal in the hvac that is just vibrates when the heat is on or something or if it's my upstairs neighbor's refrigerator or whatever it is this is going to be really hard to solve you know like a mystery noise that's the product of some sort of industrial process like again there's a lot of air that's you know these apartments all have like vents but the vents are all interconnected so if there's something weird going on in one of the vents it's just going to keep happening and also i was like but i'm going to call the apartment people and they're going to come up here and they're not going to hear it or it's going to like turn off I went on a whole journey in my mind of how this is going to ruin my life in this apartment going forward because you know obviously I record things here and stuff like mystery sounds are very hard to pin down I was imagining a scenario where everyone thought I had lost my mind I kept having people over and saying do you hear it and then it would like stop right at the wrong time so I thought I don't know I'll throw a Hail Mary and call downstairs but I even before I practiced what I was going to say to the tailor at the front desk, Andrew, because I didn't want to sound like a nutcase. Taylor is their name or they've hired a tailor? Taylor is their name. And I said to Taylor, so I practiced. I was like, hey, Taylor. I literally did this aloud in this room before I dialed the phone number. Did you look in the mirror? I didn't. I don't look very good today. I'll tell you what.

You don't like to look at yourself.

Omicron is not. little little Marion is in for a real treat tomorrow because I am zooming into her broadcast media class oh really great few elementary and they're going to see a real haggard Uncle Luke they're going to see an Uncle Luke who's had Omicron and hasn't had a haircut and is breaking out and it's going to be quite a thing

but anyway Marion just so you know I look great and I know you know I've worked in broadcast most of my life I'd be happy to put you in touch with me

what does this one pay what's the per diem on this uh so i i was i just was like this is gonna go nowhere anyway i call i say hey taylor it's luke in such and such apartment and uh i'm hearing a very strange noise is there any construction going on in the building said yes you're the 30th person who's called about it this is kind of to your point about the scam call thing andrew like she was like yeah they're putting in new fob readers in the stairwells because i guess heretofore if you got into the building you could go up and down the stairs and you didn't need a fob um and that was seen as kind of not great security so now you also need to scan your thing

to use the stairs oh no be careful is this one of the things where you can get locked in the stairwell though or is it just going to be because you know like like security is tight at at the mothership there at american public media and if you uh don't have your fob you can go into the stairwell but then you can't get out of the stairwell my guess is it would be a fire code

hazard yeah or violation to not let you out of a stairwell without without a fob but my guess is you can open it from the inside and you don't need to scan your way out but if you're trying to come in from the outside because as of right now you could walk into the lobby of the building you could just go to the stairwell and you could just go to any floor you want and kind of wander around i haven't heard tell of that happening but anyway she said yeah they're installing new fob readers and it's going to be going until saturday um but most critically you're not losing your mind and i was like yes that was just and then she was very apologetic she's like i'm really sorry uh you know we can ask them to you know pause i was like no go nuts i i'm just so happy to know there is a source for this that will be ending. And I'm not just like, Like, I'm not going to be locked in a battle with this mystery sound for the next six months. Could you do me a solid? Could you call Taylor and ask her if she's been getting tons of AT&T scam calls lately or if anybody else has been complaining about that? Because I need some sort of validation. I'm going out of my mind. Luke, there's one. I just looked down at my phone. There's one coming in right now. Answer it. Oh, I did. About your Verizon service. It's the same one. It's just going to be that same robocall. Time in and time out.

there's one thing though when i call taylor at the front desk and that is i don't know if there's a delay in the line i'm gonna hope that there is and i don't know why there would be i'm not that far away from them but i i'll say like hey uh taylor it's luke from apartment whatever and then there'll be like a two second beat to where i'm thinking did the line go dead and then she'll go oh hi what can i do for you what's the rest of the conversation like I felt pretty normal but then at the end I said I'm just glad to know I go something like I'm just I go that's totally fine I'm glad there's an explanation for it I was worried that my upstairs neighbor neighbors had opened up a bowling alley or something and then like one two and then uh-huh yeah okay well yeah we'll have it done by Saturday I can't tell if my jokes are just falling flat or if this is a if this is more of a like an issue of like the delay in the line or something i'm going to choose to believe there's a delay because it doesn't matter how

far you are how far apart you are as the song goes um i think it's just i think voiceover is it voip voiceover ip i think the fact that like telephone lines aren't really telephone lines anymore has really added to a lot of this i think that when you're talking on cell phones which is a different you know obviously a whole different technology i think that there's just like a lot more delay in phone calls now and luke i get burned on it so much because you know how much I hate an uncomfortable silence right and so I and also we don't talk on the phone just like as people as Americans we don't talk on the phone all that often anymore most of us don't so I'm probably not as good at it and so every now and then when I hop on the phone with somebody whether it's like for maybe like a work call or something and again it's somewhat rare it is I am I am the worst because like I won't leave enough space for them to respond if it's like a half a second I'm like oh I better keep going and then I keep going and they try to talk and we go stop and back and back and forth this delay thing i i hate it i this is kind of adjacent to that

but i had a um a fellow podcast host of a podcast of some renown actually reach out to me slide into my dms and this podcast host said hey i'm about to interview this person that i have seen that i saw that you also interviewed at one point uh got any tips or tricks and what i said was yeah i do actually let it breathe which is the thing i'm the worst at because when i interviewed this person i did my normal thing of like not leaving any dead space and uh and and kind of it got the interview got off to a very awkward start actually um because i was just talking a lot and this this person who i was interviewing they need me to kind of step back and they need to kind of feel it out for themselves they ended up getting there and it ended up being very this was obviously not a tbtl interview i was talking about chris hayes from monday but um but yeah it was a moment of reflection for me this week on how bad i am at interviewing because i was like they were like do you have any

tips and i was like do the opposite of what i did well this was another remote interview that you did too right that adds to it or was this an in-person on stage it was an in-person interview in front of a live crowd okay but the live crowd does all i can say about this the live crowd does i think i actually remember i i think i remember you telling me about this maybe off air even because it is an interesting conversation from just like an interviewing standpoint, right? And like that idea of being comfortable enough with a little bit of silence to let the conversation breathe and to give that person space. And like the thing is like when you and I are doing radio, you can always trim it up later. Like even, boy, I don't think I went in and did much cleaning up on it. But even when, like, you and me and Kamara Kev were doing the show last Friday, I don't know how acutely you guys felt it, but there was a huge delay on the line. Did you notice how different the conversation was? You would have thought we were in three different places, but we weren't. But, like, there was probably, like, an over one second delay on the line. And so, therefore, there's a lot of, mostly on my part because I'm over here. But, like, you can cut all that stuff out, right? But it's like we're still humans in the moment. Right. And so, like, that's a different example. But, you know, when you're interviewing somebody and you're thinking, well, this is for radio, just let it breathe. And it's better to err on the side of having more space in there. You can always cut it out later. But in the moment, it just I don't know, man, we got to retrain our brains. It feels so painful to let it just hang. I don't have the confidence for that. Because to sit there and to let a beat happen, and you're absolutely right, for editing purposes, really the ideal way to do a radio show that's recorded and edited and played later is for everyone to say their thing, and then the next person wait one second and say their thing. And then the other person wait a second and give their response. Ideally this would all have A half a second or one second pause Between everything that's said Because then you can go back like you said And piece it all together The thing that's a problem Is if you're talking over each other And yet the stiltedness of that Would make me feel so embarrassed Particularly in front of a live crowd Yeah that's huge But even when we're just doing this Like maybe when it's you and I I have the least amount of that But like when we have a guest on When we're chatting with someone, we have Jen on or Chris or whoever, my wanting to make sure that it doesn't get awkward causes me to make it harder on you later to try to maybe trim it and clean it up a little bit because, again, that's just my insecurity.

It's interesting just using the example of having Chris on the show a couple of days ago. And Chris isn't on the show all that much, but he obviously listens to the show a lot. And I was just thinking, like, we had one moment where it was kind of a stop and start. No, you go. Oh, sorry. And like we cut each other off like and I just clip that out. But it happened one time in the whole thing. And I'll bet you part of that is just like Chris listens to the show enough that you just sort of you just sort of, you know, the rhythm of it. And I was looking for a better word than no, because I don't think it's top of mind. Right. Like he has just absorbed the rhythm of the show and the three of us know, you know, like what what what that rhythm is, sort of, as opposed to if we were talking to somebody for the very first time on the show, there probably will be a lot more of that, like stuttering and stopping and waiting and feeling each other out. You know, he feels me out and I feel him out and we just do our thing.

We could talk or not talk like a couple of notters. How many things did I just leave together?

That was three different drops. I love it.

Quickly and then we really do need to go to break But sorry just because I was That was my much loved Jennifer Coolidge impression that I do But is she Dynamite In the White Orchid Or White Lotus

We never talked about that I mean that was one of those where you watched the first episode Or the first two episodes before I did Like when It was hot then I watched it I think about a couple Of weeks after it was hot but I watched the whole thing I got obsessed with it I think I watched in a couple of days but then you kind of cooled off and you cooled off um coolaged off now you finally watch it I want to I want to bro down with you about that although it's been you know how my brain just leaks information it's been a minute since I've seen it but that I loved I just loved the vibe of that of that that ominous vibe and like the yeah the music yes it's just perfect I've never watched

anything like it yeah yeah mike white is such a genius and yeah i watched it on the flight to hawaii which was perfect because it's like set in hawaii and that's kind of a long flight so it was like it's like the best when you have uh you know uh when you get really into like an episodic television thing it was like i think i watched the tv version of get shorty when you and i flew to australia yeah you did which was like ray romano and chris o'dowd or something and were

Were you watching that not even on demand, but they just had it on that kind of streaming service where you had to, like, kind of keep up with it because you couldn't control it? Or am I misremembering that?

No, I think you're remembering. We were on such an old plane going out there that I think it was like you had to, like, turn. It was like in the olden days when there were just shows and movies going, but they were just going. And you had to just kind of hope you got there when it had just ended and was about to start. But there's nothing more fun than getting really into a show while you're flying if it's a long flight, because the flight goes by very quickly, obviously. So that's what what I was what I was doing. Oh, man. Yeah, it is really good. Like that show is just each character just has these moments that are just totally captivating and mesmerizing. But in particular, Jennifer Coolidge, it's just because I think it's it's easy to dismiss a little bit of Jennifer Coolidge's work as like she's Stifler's mom and she's kind of plays a sort of airheady character. But she brought so much humanity to this kind of very simplistic, but also very complicated person, that character in in White Lotus, man.

And I saw that they are coming out with a White Lotus, too. I don't know if it's going to be a totally different setting and it's just going to be like kind of a similar vibe or if it's going to be in any way related to these characters that we have gotten to know.

I see that Aubrey Plaza has been tapped for that, and also Michael Imperioli. Oh, Christopher. Yeah, exactly. Somebody was very excited about that. And it says, oh, Jennifer Coolidge is rumored to be returning, so there will be some sort of connective tissue apparently between these characters. But, yeah, great, great performances. Just so well directed and edited. Oh, that was one other thing I wanted to say while we're just doing weird slapdash reviews. Going back to Don't Look Up. One thing, we reviewed that for, like, an entire show. One thing that I didn't say that struck me, like, both times I watched it was it's a triumph of editing. I just love the way that movie was edited, the way they would kind of, like, change scenes by kind of quickly flashing forward, then flashing back, and then kind of settling in. Just, like, just changing scenes that way. And it really made me think a little bit about how how our how our at home technology might be kind of informing how we're, you know, how professionals are editing stuff like that. It was really interesting. I felt like it maybe at times was even slightly not tick tocky, but you can sort of see that like sort of that that choppy nature of of editing kind of coming in a professional's hands was really awesome to see.

Right, because our brains are getting used to it because we're seeing it on our phones a lot. And it is it's it is sort of an aesthetic. Yeah, certainly on TikTok. It is a very specific thing. It's like things start mid word and end very abruptly or, you know, all these things we would call them up cuts when you and I were starting out in radio. And that was the number one thing you wanted to avoid was you wanted every every sentence in every piece to have sort of a logical beginning, middle and end and not seem like we cut the tape too soon. And that's actually a visual vibe that all the young people now do. I read an interesting review of Don't Look Up after you and I gave it the TBTL treatment. I think it was in The New Yorker. And it was giving it a kind of a negative review, not for being necessarily sort of too on the nose, but for actually being apolitical. They never say a political party.

No, they always say my party, my party. Like on both sides.

If I'm kind of summarizing here, but the reviewers point was that, I mean, yes, you can sort of tell that like Meryl Streep's character is obviously supposed to be Trump, that it's sort of supposed to be the Republican Party. But by not actually naming them that and by kind of sending up the media like the movie sort of sends everything up so much that it ends up kind of it's basically this it's sort of both side ism. Like, it makes it just seem like Republicans and like politicians in general and the media in general. It all kind of sucks and is is, you know, BS and made up. But it's like that's actually not the case. The New York Times is noticeably. You got to move. Look at that. And you got to move, man. I'm so sick of those sirens. We had a long off air conversation yesterday of me celebrating that I haven't had one emergency vehicle drive past this apartment since I moved here. And I should have known that that was a jinx. But anyway, I'm doing a bad job trying to relay with this. No, I think I follow. But I found it kind of compelling that like because the New York Times is the New York Times is noticeably better at journalism than Fox News. And yet they they send the New York Times. They're just I think it's called the New York Tribune, but they use the New York Times font. It's very obvious that there's a stand in for the New York Times. But they decide to make the New York Times like sinister, like, you know, all that the New York Times supposedly cares about is what was the social media engagement of the piece about the comet and about Leo DiCaprio's character. And then there's someone else who says, like, we're not going to get burned on this. It's like, I mean, I'm not saying the New York Times is perfect, but it just kind of it paints everything as so mockable that it just it's there's almost a despair to it. Whereas you could have maybe made it more focused on, hey, the New York Times is better than Fox News. You could have done that.

Yes. OK, I I completely understand that point of view. I really do. And I think it's a I think it's a worth worthwhile to talk about. But I think that the flip side of that might because now we're not even talking about it so much as film. but as kind of propaganda right which is a pretty ugly word but i mean i can't think of a better word for it i mean they are trying to get a message out there with this movie there's no doubt about it they they're they're trying this is a holding up a mirror to society so that we will think about the path we're on and make some changes in first in our minds and then hopefully changes in the world right that is the point of this movie it's not just supposed to make us laugh so if it is a piece of propaganda if we're using that word then is it so wrong that they decided to, and again this is just me kind of echoing the argument that I made a couple of weeks ago when we talked about this but they're trying to use as wide of a net as possible. If this movie was made and it just was totally knives out wait that's a different movie if it was but like just like if they if they didn't both sides it a little bit and it was just about this movie is about you know living in the aftermath of trump's america or under a trump-like thing and they're naming that and it's a little bit and it just comes out as just straight up lefty propaganda that doesn't take shots at both sides then i think that you don't again the reason i finally said i better watch this thing before it spoiled for me was because i saw like somebody on twitter tweeting about it that was like one of my sports follows from cleveland by the way so like it's not you know what i mean like it i have a feeling that whoever runs this browns account that i follow probably that person i don't agree on most political things i could be wrong about it but they were just kind of like this is worth seeing this is why and then a bunch of other browns fans were arguing with them about this movie and i'm like i just think that they purposely were trying to cast as wide of a net as possible not to ostracize and to maybe get everybody on board to show the ludicrousness of the whole, you know, don't look up mentality.

Yeah, I think that's I think you're making a compelling point because you're right. If it's, you know, if they have a Trump impersonator, if they, you know, if they have whomever, the late, the current, maybe our guy, what's his name again?

Our Trump guy. I follow him. I see a million posts from him every day.

He's on SNL now. Yeah, I know. James Austin, James Austin something.

Yeah, exactly.

But if you have someone literally dressed as Trump in the White House, then you are going to have a big part of this country, unfortunately, just choose to not engage with it. Can I? James Austin Johnson, by the way, is the name we're looking for. Thank you. Can I? Let's do this. We have to go to a break. But when we come back, this is I was just on my phone the other day scrolling around and I found this is on the subject of film reviews. I found the New York Times review of the new Mickey Rourke film.

Oh, I didn't know there was one.

I didn't either. It's called The Commando. It's a very short review, but it had me wondering why the New York Times took the time to review this film that clearly the reviewer hated so much. The Commando review. Mickey Rourke, still standing, comma, barely.

He does give off the impression of a man who is melting, at least the last time I saw him, and it was probably 10 years ago.

it ain't gotten better my friend in the intervening 10 years since you last saw him but um i just yeah maybe uh maybe we can just read you this review when we come back because it's pretty funny i mean it's it's by glenn kenney and it is it's it's um yeah it's pretty scathing so we'll do that and talk wordle coming up here on tbtl let's thank some donors of the day who are making today's episode possible with their generous financial support including oliver pospashiel in los angeles california thank you oliver ah jake rar seattle washington rar jake has been a pal of the show since the since the long ago times and uh is a is a sweetheart and is still supporting the program or has forgotten that we're auto deducting five dollars a month either way jake thanks kids don't ask your parents

Let's just get that credit card and call now.

Dial 206-414. You'll be receiving a call about your DirecTV account. I need you to call that number back, please. DirecTVscam.com slash TVTL. Christopher Sherrill is in Madison, Wisconsin. Just one of the more lovely places out there is Madison, Wisconsin. Did you spend any time there on your travels through the Midwest?

I don't think so. Milwaukee, I've been to Milwaukee I like Milwaukee too Yeah, I was only there once very briefly I liked it a great deal

Yeah, I was there during Summerfest once And that's the big thing there in Milwaukee Anyway, Christopher's in Madison And we thank Christopher We also thank Jose Vargas In Seattle, Washington Don't do it, Andrew

Oh, I don't even know what I'm supposed to not do

Don't call him Party Vargas I'm telling you not to do it

Where is Party Vargas these days?

I don't know.

No ways in the league anymore, right? What was Vargas' first name?

He was with the Mets.

Okay.

Jason, I think.

Jason Vargas, okay, yeah.

He overperformed with the Mariners and then got kind of, I think, a pretty lucrative deal with the Mets, and I think was sort of effective for a while, but then I forget what he did, but he did a bad. I forget. Something that made me very...

Yeah, because we always liked him. He was kind of like cocky and silly, and they called him Party Vargas, and there was a fake Twitter account that was like emphasizing the party and Party Vargas. But then, yeah, something happened with him where we had to like kind of stop liking him, huh?

It was something I think in the Mets locker room might have been something he did to a reporter or the way he dressed a reporter down. Yeah. I don't know. The good news is we're talking about completely different Vargas. This is Jose, they call him Diligent Vargas.

who would never talk down to a reporter or a podcast.

No, and he supports TVTL. Thank you, Jose. We really appreciate it. Also, Claudia Villeman is in Buffalo, New York, home of Beef on Weck. The delicious Beef on Weck. Claudia, thank you. And then thanks to Jamie Bugle. Also in Madison, Wisconsin, do Jamie and Christopher know each other? And if they don't, how do we make that happen? You guys have a meetup. Come on.

But maybe make it virtual until we're out of a pandemic. Plan it in 10 years.

We'll see you in 10 years out there in Madison.

And we do appreciate... I got sad. I'm sorry. I didn't get back.

I know. Everything's getting canceled left and right. I have all these events. Thank you to our donors of the day. We absolutely would not be here without your support. Thank you. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. I have all these events that are scheduled. that involve people coming into theaters, and I guess we'll see if it happens. I'm supposed to moderate something or hang out at the Moore Theater with Amy Sedaris. Oh, yeah.

We were talking about that yesterday off air.

Yeah, that'll be fun if it happens. Becca and I were supposed to go to a Chris Gethard show here in Portland in February. That's been canceled. I'm supposed to interview Fran Leibovitz down here at the Schnitz in February as well.

Will this be your second time interviewing her? Because I know she's a personal hero of yours, right? I talked to her on the telephone for TBTL once. That was it. But, I mean, that was a long time ago, even before my time. But I thought that you had another of maybe this was it. Was this originally booked before the pandemic and it's been pushed off?

No. This was – I don't think it got pushed. I think it was, like, this summer they said something like, hey, do you – Like, somebody reached out to me and said, Fran Leibowitz is coming to Portland. They're looking for somebody to interview her on stage. Would you like to do it? And I was like, yes. And I was like, when is it? And they were like, you know, February. I forget the exact date. Sometimes February 20th or something. And I thought that's in 2022. And I thought that's like 40 years from now. Of course, I'll do it. But I mean, like, that's so far in the future. Like, it was one of those many things where I just thought, God, we'll be so far in front of the pandemic by then.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, like when when everything got kind of shut down and then they were like some people were starting to schedule things out, but they were scheduling things so far in advance that I just felt like that's overdoing it. You guys come on. Like we don't need to we don't need to jump to 2022 to wait for this thing to be over.

Well, watch. I mean, listen, I try to be careful with what I say about these things, because, you know, a lot of these comments don't age well. Nobody knows what the future holds. But concerning this particular variant and like, you know, I'm I'm I have some deep seated worries about what comes after this variant. But as far as this particular variant is concerned, you know, they've been writing about the models of this ever since it peaked in South Africa a couple of weeks ago. And I've been kind of reading those articles a lot because I'm just now I really am. I really am just like reading the articles that have a glimmer of hope and the ones that don't. I just skip. And so maybe I'm feeding myself the wrong information. But like you can't say anything with any kind of certainty, obviously. But models do sort of say that we should be looking at peaking here in a couple of weeks on this particular variant because it's just been, you know, coursing through our society. So, in fact, every time, I mean, I'm glad that the Biden administration is, you know, finally moving on these at-home tests. But I also sort of feel like it reminds me of like you're fighting the last battle here, sort of. I think it's generally good to get tests in the hands of Americans. But I just sort of feel like by the time these tests are here, I'm sort of hoping that this particular situation may have crested.

I know I was having this conversation with Becca the other day because, you know, I was I tested positive and I had like I think I had four tests here at home. And so I took the first one and it was it was positive. And so then I was I'm going to wait for a while and then and then I'm going to like I don't want to burn through these. But then I was like, on the other hand, how many tests do I need? because once the test comes back negative and presuming that I can trust it, I'm going to get a PCR test as well just to be extra sure. Also, I'm loving being at home. I'm not ready for this to end.

Why is that man crying in his car? He just found out that he's negative.

He just found out the Omicron has passed his system and now he is required to go.

go back out in the world to some degree but um uh i guess what i'm trying to say is i have this one part of me that thinks i need to hoard as many like antigen tests as i can and then part of me thought well once i've had omicron and it's gone hopefully i don't need to keep testing myself hopefully there won't be more occasion for me to need to antigen test myself at home you know i'm i'm i'm vaxxed i'm boosted i've had omicron i'm hoping that that kind of brings this to an end for me personally at least you know like are we all just going to need to keep like 10 covid tests on hand for in perpetuity or can we can there be a point where we don't have any

covid tests at home and it's fine it seems like a lifetime ago that well first of all this whole thing seems like a lifetime um and we've talked about that in various ways that almost like um they were there was an article kind of a thin article called covid nostalgia which i i think kind of missed the kind of missed the mark a little bit about some of the things that was talking about how how people are looking back at different phases of of the pandemic but that is definitely a phenomenon that happens right I mean we went through so many phases with this thing and like for example like even the happy moments like I remember it was after you and I did the TBTL-a-thon from an undisclosed location a couple of years ago and that was the first time things slowly began to open up again in our state because I came back home that weekend and I believe I believe i actually went to teddy's that day and like that was like oh my gosh are we starting to see a bright light and then um or a light at the end of the tunnel i should say is that a bright light i see my entire life i don't know how to upload the show

come back from the light i can't i don't know how to get this show on the internet um but i one thing

that i think about too is that that moment that moment of absurdity and happiness when um how long ago was it Luke when I don't know if you guys even got to this part in Oregon but here in Washington state the mask mandate went away for about three weeks and I think it only was three weeks but I remember still having the the homemade masks that Genevieve had made like they were nice masks using your sewing machine and with filters in them and everything but they were homemade masks and she had made me like two of them and I remember like I didn't like any other masks and I I remember when that requirement lifted, and we said, you know, there might be times during flu and cold season that we'll still wear these. But I remember putting them in a drawer and just thinking, like, I did it. I made it through with just these two masks.

My version of that was there's this certain kind of trendy mask that I liked called – I think it's called Element. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah. And you could buy them online and they'd come in like a, you know, kind of a big envelope and it'd be like 30 of them. And so I had, you know, purchased a few envelopes worth. And then it was that time where I was getting down to like the last couple of masks that I had. And it was when the mask mandate went away. and i remember getting an getting an email like a sales email because i was now somehow on their mailing list of this mask company being kind of like basically to my mind trying to convince me that there was still some need for me to interact with their product and it was almost like it's like when the ways voice keeps talking when you see the place that you're trying to get to like nothing goes from totally essential to just shut the hell up quicker than the ways voice you're like how do i get there how do i get there oh there it is in 300 feet shut up i can see it i don't need you anymore that's how i felt with this mask i was like you poor bastards you're dead and you don't even know it like no one's ever gonna need a mask again ever that was by the way a year

and a half ago is that is that when that was was it a year how i don't know it was a long i've bought like five more envelopes of masks from these people yeah i know it is but anyway i i remain I mean, again, I'm not trying to spread, you know, falsely optimistic information, but I just I just I remain optimistic, at least for, you know, things happening in February.

Yeah, I mean, where we are now, now the new buzzword is is endemic. Right. And there's a conjugation of it that's like the when we get to it being basically a manageable. seasonal more or less seasonal illness that people get shot for and most people survive it that's the new i mean because at first it was let's let's um flatten the curve and then that didn't work and then it was like let's get everybody vaccinated and that didn't work and so now the new thing is let's get to the point where this is a manageable seasonal thing um that's not putting people on ventilators yeah i wouldn't say those things didn't work i mean

just to be clear i mean they they they were doing what they needed to do at that time right i don't

mean that those were the wrong decisions yeah what i mean is it

It's hard to get a lot of the humans in this country to, like, follow those. When I say it failed, I just mean it was a failure of the people, of enough of the people to basically sign on to these various things. Not that they were themselves bad ideas or didn't help a little bit.

Can I say one other thing, too, here, though, is, like, you and I have these conversations. And, again, you're in Oregon. I'm in Washington State. And, like, I kind of forget. Like, I was talking to my dad on the phone. um actually this conversation was maybe even a month ago now but like i completely forgot that that's there's not a mask mandate in ohio or at least there wasn't when i was talking to him and i was like kind of shocked i'm like i don't even know like again scam likely phone call coming in jeez louise um but like i don't even know how many of these states are still are in the situation that washington and oregon are in right now and i'm glad you know i'm glad that we live in states where it's taken seriously and people obey the rules and we're doing our best like i'm not complaining about it but i am just curious about how much these conversations about you and i uh reminiscing about the three weeks last summer when we could take our masks off if this is even hitting for people who are listening in other states because i don't even know how much of the country do you think is masking up the way washington and oregon are i think california is

because i was in san francisco and it was they took it very seriously and that may have also been extra san francisco well but i think california is my guess would be that new york state is i mean you know just your typical liberal coastal elites but i can tell you where it's a pretty lax policy texas where i just was like i i was shocked at how many people weren't wearing masks and then i i realized it's because i think the official rule and i was in austin i was in what do they say that's the blueberry in the in the tomato soup or something like it's just like little dot of blue so i was in austin which maybe has its own city rules that are a little more strict than the state although who knows with uh greg abbott you know and his i'm sure trying to make sure that austin can't actually enforce tighter rules but what i mean is there were basically the rule in texas as i understood it was if you're vaccinated it was optional well how do they know who's vaccinated and the guy wearing the freedom isn't free t-shirt i mean how much does he care about if he's officially allowed to be maskless or not based on his vaccine like no one asked for a vax card ever and what it just ends up being is the people that don't believe in the vax or who are basically a-holes just walk around without their mask and then the people who are vaccinated still have their masks on for some reason that's how it was

in Texas the irony there is wearing a t-shirt that says freedom isn't free literally means exactly we have to make sacrifices for our freedom and for other people's freedoms that's I mean part he only wants to focus on you know we get guns and we go into other countries that's what freedom isn't free means to him but like no the whole that's that's the thing and I think I've said this on the show before now we're just doing this again but this is the world we live in and it's good to get it off your chest. But like, that's the thing that that's the thing that I kind of can't wrap my head around. I feel like a lot of people. Well, OK, maybe I shouldn't go super broad here. I'm thinking about some people in my life who are very, very conservative people, and they also truly believe that life was better back in the day. I mean, that's it's not wrong for me to say that that is a broad principle of conservatives when the former president, the whole thing was make America great again it's this idea that it was better back in the day well back in the day like during World War II there were so many personal sacrifices people were making and it was all for the greater good like it's just it's so it's been perverted so much I don't understand how you can be nostalgic for the good old days when in the good old days people realized we need to make sacrifices here at home for the greater good right people were

going off and dying uh people were you know taking their like tin foil on saturday down to the american legion or whatever and you know growing victory gardens uh you know it was the amount of sacrifice that was going on at that time for for most of the people in this country is so orders of magnitude more intense than what's being asked of people now which is just basically could you wear a mask and get a completely non-medically threatening vaccine shot like it's such a low bar compared to what you know the rosy the riveters of the world were doing in you know during that yeah so for that to be the nostalgic thing i mean it turns out andrew that it's not a logically consistent thing it turns out it's very emotionally based

that's gonna change the way i look at this by the way nine states only nine states have indoor mask mandates like ours. Do you have the list there? I do. You want to hear it? Do you want to give me a bell? Can I try to guess? Oh, yeah. Okay, good. So, obviously, Washington... Oregon California that's three I'm going New York New York yes I'm going Illinois yes oh Chicago yeah how many did I how many have I said

you have one two three four more to go and I'm going to give you a hint oh I know another one you know two more of these you know them first hand

okay well Massachusetts nope I know them first hand because i've i've lived there or because i just mentioned them because you've been there in the

past two weeks so texas uh hawaii oh hawaii nevada wait nevada nevada nevada nevada we say nevada

shocking to me although i will tell you this but you were just there right people i mean i know

that it's probably not super well enforced but i mean that you must have mandates there that

Well, Nevada is such an odd state because – it's not odd. It's actually like a lot of places. You have basically Clark County, which is where Vegas is, and then you have everything else. And it's like the rest of Nevada is as conservative. They call it the rurals. Everything that's not Clark County in Nevada may be whatever county Reno is in, but everything else is so off-the-charts conservative. And it's always like Will there be enough votes in Clark County To balance out Or to overcome The deeply conservative rural areas The reason I started to say it's interesting But it's actually exactly like Washington State You basically have Seattle Tacoma You know Bellingham Olympia I guess And then you got pretty much everything else And then maybe Spokane to some degree But Now one There's one more state on this list

That I'd kind of like to see if you can get to Massachusetts It's going to be surprising, I think. Another scam likely call coming in. I think it's going to be a little bit surprising until you remember who their governor is. It's another southwest state. I'm giving you a lot of information here.

Okay. Is it New Mexico? It is. Indeed. Where's the bill? There it is. New Mexico. Ah. Is Bill, what's his name, still their governor?

It's Grisham. I would not have known this off the top of my head, But it's Governor Michelle Grisham Oh okay

I will say this about Las Vegas It was kind of It was surprising how much they enforced The mask rules in the casinos And I think it's probably because The casinos don't want to do anything To endanger their licenses Or ability to print money From foolios like me So when you would walk in Any point that you would enter the casino There would be kind of a security guard Standing there with a box of masks and they would they were looking at everyone you know who wasn't wearing their mask right or didn't have a mask and they were stationed pretty you know consistently throughout the casino um again probably because the casino didn't want i don't know the board of health from the state of nevada to come in and say you got a bunch of maskless people in here we're shutting this thing down

yeah yeah exactly why risk the bottom line one thing irritated me i can't remember if i already told you this but there was a bar that i went to a couple of times in hawaii in this like little laid back little part of town we were in and um there was a big sign that said you know you must show proof of vaccination when you come in here which you know i'm used to that we've been doing that in washington here for a couple of months now um but then they're all over the sign it says do not complain to us which i can i understand that to a degree like i actually think it's a huge i think it's necessary but i also am sympathetic to the fact that i think it's a pretty big burden on these businesses to suddenly make people who are who are there to serve food and um you know generally be hospitable suddenly they have to enforce something and turn people away based on medical cards i understand why that's yelled at yeah i want to be very clear about that i think it's important but man it sucks for them but this sign also went on to say and they really kind of uh what do you say they kind of showed their ass here purposely like don't complain to us it's the law and then it like listed all these like play complain to the governor this is the governor's email address here's the governor's uh twitter account here's the board of health i don't know what else they listed there but then it kind of it became this sort of like yeah we hate this too we're you know and it's sort of like freedom is for the free kind of vibes and it's like oh god

hmm this will make you feel better andrew the new york times review of the commando starring mickey in this risible action thriller risible doesn't that mean i don't know let me look it up i think risible means something that's comical but maybe doesn't mean to be okay let's see what risible

capable of laughing disposed to laugh arousing or provoking laughter

yeah so in this risible action thriller so this laughable action thriller Okay.

A house on a dirt lot is catnip for criminals who know there's a fortune under its floorboards or floorboards. This is Glenn Kenney writing in The New York Times. A spectacularly atrocious, ostensible action thriller. The commando is distinguished by an incompetence that extends even to locations. I want to mention that I don't think this review is viral in any way. I was just poking around in the furthest recesses of The New York Times website and saw this. I haven't seen anyone posting this, but it's pretty salty. The title protagonist, a PTSD-riven agent for the Drug Enforcement Administration, played by Michael Jai White, lives with his family in a house that sits on an unusually barren plot of land. The movie, directed by Asif Akbar, was shot in New Mexico, where xeriscaping is in vogue, but this place is, for all intents and purposes, a dirt lot. There's not even a driveway, which makes things convenient for the baddies who stage a sodden, tedious home invasion near the movie's end. The reason for the invasion is a stash of bank robbery money hidden in the house. Quote, hidden is generous. The dough is largely stuffed under floorboards that aren't even nailed down. The home's prior owner, Johnny, played by Mickey Rourke, put it there before going to prison. It seems no authorities thought to search the residence of a bank-robbing felon before the place changed hands. Meanwhile, the teenage daughters of the DEA agent have found some of the cash and are enjoying it. Once an actor of considerable appeal and charisma, Rourke, here, struggles to stand up. The work of other cast members is enough to frequently draw guffaws. At one point, a member of Johnny's inept gang, played by the Scottish actor Gianni Capaldi, swallows a bunch of pills, observes that, quote, this is the calm before the storm, and seconds later begins grunting as if experiencing the effects of a strong laxative. The commando will appeal only to connoisseurs of how bad can it be cinema as part of a control group. Full stop. I feel like the Times doesn't even do that anymore because they're kind of like, why are we going to waste this space just telling you how bad something is?

But boy, he did not like that film. No, it almost sounds like The Room-esque in its terribleness.

Yeah. Oh hi Danny

Also looks like this movie has Jeff Fahey in it Who was the star of Remember The Lawnmower Man I remember hearing of The Lawnmower Man Now part of me always thinks that that's a Stephen King project But it's not is it It might be

I don't know if I actually Ever watched The Lawnmower Man Or just kind of heard It's a legend it's from 1992 A scientist performed experiments involving Intelligence enhancing drugs And virtual reality on a simple minded Gardner, who I believe was

Jeff Fahey. Interesting. Oh, it's got Pierce Brosnan in it. I'm looking to... Hey, look at this! Film was adapted from an original screenplay called Cyber God. The title comes from a 1975 short story by Stephen King. It's an Andrew W. That's right. Thursday. Take the W.

We are not going to get to all of our top story plans, but let me just quickly, before we do the Blurs Thursdays mentioned that I'm loving Wordle and it sounds like you're into it

as well Andrew. Oh yeah I think I told you I didn't say this on the show yet right so I can brag again. I on yesterday's Wordle no I think two days ago's Wordle I got it on the second try. Nice. I actually have something I want to say about this. I have a Wordle theory that is going to blow your mind. It's not going to blow your mind. But I think you need to explain it for those who

aren't up to speed explain what wordle is it's this um kind of little very simple seemingly simple word puzzle where you have it's a you're trying to guess a five-letter word and you have six tries and so your first attempt you come up with a five-letter word it's always going to be

blind just come up with any five-letter word and punch those letters and try not to try not to

reuse a letter and then the game will illuminate some of the letters if the letter is green it means that letter is in the place that it needs to be to make the word if the letter is more like yellowish it means it the letter is in the word you're trying to make but it's not in the correct position and what's quite interesting about it is how quickly your brain figures out oh okay um if it if i have this letter and this letter but not this letter you just go through this process of elimination like pretty fast um uh just to mention just to give credit uh to the guy who invented his name is josh wardle w-a-r-d-l-e and he kind of developed this i think just as something fun for him and his partner to do i love um because i believe she

loves puzzles and word games and things and so he came up with Wordle as just a play on his name but it's pretty cool too because there are no ads there are no push notifications the website or the app is very simplistic and it doesn't have any of, it's like not trying to drive you to an in-game purchase, it has not been monetized

Is there an actual app by the way? I've just been going to it on my phone. I've been going

to it on a, well this morning, the one time I did it was on a website but they keep referring to the app in articles that I've read So maybe they're using that term loosely But I am generally very bad At these things but I have to say I was It took me like Four words You know four tries So I wasn't exactly like You know going to win any Wordle competitions but the fact that I at least Got it made me feel Some sense of a compliment and what I immediately Realized was oh this is what This is why everyone's been posting this stuff Because I said this at the top of the show, but, like, I came back from some break and had no idea what the what that was on everyone's Twitter tweets, you know?

Yeah, because you can kind of, after you win or complete a game, you can just hit a button. I got another call coming in. That's been four for the show so far. Is it interesting that I keep telling you this? I just want to see how many come in during, like, the one hour that we're doing this show. So far, I think four. And it's just all day. Anyway, they have a really – I think it's a simple but ingenious way of like kind of sharing your results without spoiling the answer for other people who want to play. In fact, that's how I ended up doing this. I'd seen these little green and yellow little blocks being posted on Twitter. I didn't know what it was about. I didn't really care. Usually these things either pass or they stick around long enough for me to eventually figure it out. You know what I mean? I just don't chase every Twitter trend. But it was actually one of our listeners. I think it was Jake in Chicago, a.k.a. the Perfect Daddy, who actually said, I'm blocking anybody who tweets about Wordle. And I was like, that's it. This tweet actually got me to figure out what the hell this is about, ironically. And so I played it. And I think that the game is ingenious because it seems impossible, right? You're just trying to guess a word. You've got to start with absolutely zero clues yet. And I'm not really great with puzzles and games. But yet through the process of elimination and the fact that once you guess a letter that is not in the word, it'll kind of like black it out on the keyboard or gray it out. So you can kind of easily like it's a game that really makes you feel smart, but it's not really that hard. But you really do have to think about it. Now, Genevieve spends her life playing Scrabble and that, you know, the New York Times has something called Spelling Bee, which is a Scrabble-esque. And that's way more challenging. And so I showed Genevieve Wordle, and I thought it was going to be below her because she's just playing word games constantly on her phone. It's just constant, and she's got a great brain for it. She's the best Scrabble player you'll meet. And so I figured this would be below her, yet she is delighted by it. She sends me her Wordle results every day, and I respond with mine. And I think it's interesting that it can appeal to lummox like me. Is that a word? I feel like my parents used to call me that. that might be tomorrow's wordle they were very loving parents when they called me a lummox but it also appeals to smarty pants like Genevieve there's something about it that is that is really really satisfying when you get that word and I mentioned to you as bragging that I got the I got the answer on my second try yesterday and I think this is the only game where getting it on the second try is much more meaningful than getting it on the first try. Because if you get it on the first try, it's completely dumb luck. And you don't get any credit for that. You just happen to guess right. But if you get it on the second try, you somehow deduced it based on your first try.

Right. And there are strategies now, too. Like, try to do an extremely vowel-heavy word for your first word. I always use A's and E's, yep. So that's, like, there's all these different. There's a million now Wordle knockoff websites. because the other thing that's kind of cool about it is there's one Wordle each day.

Yeah, you can go back into the archives.

Yeah, and you do it. I sent it to Becca this morning because she does the New York Times crossword puzzle. I think she can get through Friday or Saturday. She's got one of those brains. And so I sent her Wordle. And again, I was very proud I got to it by the fourth try or something. So I sent her, I was like, have you tried Wordle? It's pretty cool. And she was like, I've been hearing about it, But I haven't done it yet So I sent her the link And she goes And then it's like Pause, pause, pause And then she comes back And she's like Wow, this is actually Way harder than I thought it was And I was like Yes, I finally got her Yeah, that's exactly Like Genevieve, yeah And then like two minutes later She was like Oh, JK And she got it the second try I mean

She literally got it In exactly the way that you described Which was first word guess And then just solved it on the second one And I was like can I just have one thing of this That I'm better at than you So did she not really find it satisfying the way Genevieve does No I mean I think she enjoyed it But it was just I just was thinking Because I can't hang with her on Crossword puzzles We always play the weekend edition The puzzle The Will Shortz puzzle now

Oh wait you're talking about the one on weekend edition Or the weekend edition in the paper Okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah.

No, the one, it's like a whole thing where we like listen to it and I have a pen and paper. That's awesome. And then we'll spend like, you know, go on a jog or whatever and or spend the whole week just like batting ideas back and forth. Here's the one from a couple weeks ago. Oh, God. I'm going to. Do you want me to try to look it up? There's no way I'm going to remember the exact details of how you were to get there. But it was like take – it's a kind of famous singer's name, and you change the vowel sound in their first name, and you change the vowel sound in their last name, and you get two body parts.

And so this is just a singer – is this one that has several answers? No. Or this is the one just for the – where you just have one answer? This is just the question at the end. It wasn't the like

When they run through A kind of a series of questions This was the end And it was It was It is a famous singer Uh huh Yeah so Of the moment I'll give you that hint too Like it's not like Frank Sinatra or something He's gotta have a first name And last name So it's not the beginning Currently popular singer That has a first and last name And if you change The vowel sound In their first name And you also change The vowel sound In their last name Their first name And last name Will both Be Sound like body parts Tiller Swafed

i got it how did you get it got it in one god my swafety's been hurting me lately too i've been

going to the gym i don't know what the swafety's coming after me what is it no it was it it was i was so proud i i as like we're sitting there ruminating we're running through different things

it's billy eilish you change it to belly eyelash oh great oh i love it it was so satisfying dude when I got there and nothing feels like a Sunday I mean I never wake up in time to listen to the weekend edition anymore but like man just that feeling of listening to Will Shorts on weekend edition that is something that has been you know a constant presence even if I'm not taking advantage of it it's just been there for my entire public radio listening life my entire like adulthood from young adulthood to middle age man it is just such a comfort you even just describing that experience I love that you and Becca actually like kind of sit down and do it together that is that is idea that is that's relationship goals right there i love that i have

to say it's the kind of thing for me all these years of working in public radio i never really got it like i never played the puzzle i knew it was super popular but it was just kind of like lost on me and then when becca and i started hanging out and she was like hold on like we'd be driving somewhere she'd be like hold on i got to hear this and then i got into it and now like i'm super into it yeah very it's like a big fun uh weekend tradition so i'm really settling into middle age andrew me and my getting up getting up at 6 30 on the weekend playing the puzzle

there's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll you can't just listen to your soul just remember that life is number one you can't be having so much fun just remember that Life is much fun You can be number one

All right. Churzin' and blurzin' here on a Thursday. Got some birthday shout-outs here. Sarah says, I want to wish Cassandra in Victoria a very happy birthday. I know 2021 was a tough year for you, and I'm hoping that 2022 will be much better for you. and for all of us. Happy birthday, dear friend. I can't wait until we can hang out IRL again. I don't know what IRL stands for. Interestingly relatable.

You know, this sounds like I'm trying to name drop, but I used the term IRL when I was interviewing Kirsten Dunst, and she took a moment. She's IRL, IRL. Oh, you mean in real life? I was like, yes. I go, I'm so youthful, and I just throw around terms like that. Sometimes I forget. Not everybody is as cool as I am Did you just give a hard eye roll and say try to keep up Kirsten I said this is not a democracy This is a cheerocracy That's a line That's a line that she says And bring it on Jonathan Says after an indeed queen met me with a blank stare i then told my 11 she should send in a blurs day for me this year she just replied i don't understand the question and i won't respond to it so i guess this 41 year old dad type is just sending in his own on this his day of blurs it's my actual blurs the 13th oh happy blurs day jonathan so let me just unpack this jonathan looked at his partner and said indeed queen and she had no idea what he was talking about and he was trying to get her to send this in but then she was not feeling it so he's sending it in on his own behalf

that's right now I'm wondering if she actually said I don't understand the question and won't respond to it or if that's a TBTL paraphrase that Jonathan has taken some liberties with either way we accept it and we offer you indeed queen yes we do I kind of forgot about that indeed queen how do we land on that?

Well, it's because we've stopped using your voice, generally, to introduce you.

I'm just trying to remember the moment. I do remember whenever I said that, it got you good. I feel like it definitely caused some giggles. All right, Sarah says... Oh, by the way, we are chock-a-block with Sarah's today. But I want you to know, these are all different Sarah's. They all came in from different emails. Just a lot of Sarah's. Don't be fooled, though. These are different Sarah's. Happy birthday to Yvonne. How would you say that, Luke? I'm blanking in the moment. I'm getting nervous. Yvonne? Yvonne. Hold on a second. Yvonne.

I somehow managed to, I somehow managed to, do you want to know what was going on? I was reading the Blur's Day messages on my phone because I wanted to be able to activate this sound effect if I needed it. Somebody put a cute thing in for their kid. And then I accidentally deleted the Blur's Day messages. Oh, do you want me to reset them to you? Nope, I've got it right here. Yeah, Yvonne. That's what I would say. Yvonne.

Yvonne. Okay, yeah. I think that's maybe what I started with, but then I got really nervous, and I don't like to mess up people's blurs days, which you could argue I've already done. Sarah says, happy birthday to Yvonne, my dear friendo and the only 10 I know IRL. Huh, I wonder what that means. Somebody get Kirsten Dunst on the line. Let me know what that means. I cannot wait to have a beer with you one of these days when we're in the same city again. They'll try to say we was drunk, but we only had eight beers, and that was all we drank. Wait. They're trying to say I was drunk. There it is. I drank eight beers yesterday. That was all I drank.

Schaefer wants to wish a happy Blur's Day to his buddy Mike. Happy Blur's, Mike. Short and sweet from Schaefer.

That's what they call him, short and sweet Schaefer. Ironically, they call him, well, I'm not going to try to spin that on his head because it's going to sound filthy. But ironically, that was an incredibly long email that Schaefer sent in that detailed. Remember, Mike offered a happy Blur's Day to Schaefer a while back, and there was some reference to drinking pee. And so Schaefer.

I feel like I would remember that, and yet I don't.

It did have. It was just like a quick. It was a quick reference. You and I were a little bit astounded by it. We were the emoji equivalent of the two big eyeballs looking to the side, which is an emoji I've been using a lot lately. And then Schaefer kind of explained it was some sort of a college prank thing. But it was a novel. So I just edited to Schaefer wants to wish Happy Blur's Day to Mike. I see. Sorry about that, everybody. Sarah, a different Sarah, we've talked about this, from Ham 10, Illinois, says, Happy Blur's Day to my Table 10, Roman. Now, do you know what Table 10 means? I don't know what that means. In parentheses, the email said, or 10 at the table. But I still don't know what that means. I'm going to assume that that's an inside joke. Roman, my 5, turns 10. No. Okay. A lot of numbers here. This is terrible about this. Roman, my 5, turned 10, turns 14 on Sunday. I have it all written down somewhere. And I couldn't be more proud of him, whether we're listening to podcarts, quoting Simpsons, or laughing at memes together. Memees! This is just me, I'm freelancing now Any time spent with him is my favorite time He makes me laugh the most And is the kindest person I love you buddy Happy Blurs Day Roman He's got like every meme ever produced on the internet He can knock us out with his memes Love it

Spencer says My brother Andrew and I Want to wish a happy birthday To our mother and fellow 10 Laura You are the most supportive and kind mom A son could ask for Can't wait to get together for another movie And cocktail night That is sweet

Happy Blurs Day, Laura And finally You probably saw Luke that I threw one here at the end I'm assuming that you're on board With this as well Happy 79th Blurs

to Richard Moll, a.k.a. Bull from Night Court. Want to do that okay again in the clear? Sure, absolutely. Okay. That's one of the best sounding drops we have.

Well, I have two options for you on that. I have, let's see, Bull, okay, no laugh track, and then Bull, okay, with laugh.

Okay. What I love about that is it sounds like you're playing it from the sound machine, Like you have this entire segment, but the beauty of this is no, no, no. That is the drop as it lives on your computer. That's the best sounding book.

So, so bad. Well, I think it came down to, do I want to like go to like half price books? Do I want to go to like a Best Buy and see if they have Night Court on DVD? Get a DVD player, capture the sound from the DVD, or just go with somebody pointed their cell phone camera at a TV that was playing Bull saying, okay. I mean, it was an iconic catchphrase.

I mean, he was the voice of a generation. How is that the only version on YouTube?

It was probably the only version I could find five minutes before the show three years ago.

Would you agree that Richard Moll is the voice of a generation through his character Bull?

And he is looking good. You included photos. I'd say Richard Moll is looking better now than he did in the night court days. I mean, probably because his hair was shorn very short. Yeah. He's got a nice head of hair. He's got a silver beard. He's a handsome devil.

Are you kidding me? I'd kill for that hair. Jeez, Louise. He's got several decades on me. Now I'm just, I didn't plan on doing this, but now I'm just on a celebrity birthday list. And it's also Julia Louis-Dreyfus's birthday today. So happy birthday to them. But more importantly, happy Blur's Day to our listeners and their loved ones. Yes. luke um the opposite of birth unfortunately is death oh and ronnie specter passed away or either yesterday or the news broke yesterday i'm sure you saw this of the ronettes would you be happy going out with a uh ronette song in her honor yes yes absolutely i mean uh is this is a

Very weird place to take it. But is in the Eddie Money song, Take Me Home Tonight, I think he references Ronnie Spector. I'm not proposing we play Eddie Money in honor.

No, she's in it.

Oh, we talked about this, didn't we?

I realized this a couple of years ago. I thought I learned this at the Eagles. Because he says just like Ronnie said. But maybe I learned it on TBTL. I either learned it from Kevin, Camaro Kev at the Eagles, or Camaro Luke on TBTL. Because somebody taught me that. Yeah, and we looked it up, and it was actually, yeah, that is her. And it's not a sample She re-sang it Because it's that line from Be my little baby

Just like Ronnie said Be my little baby So that was also Ronnie Spector

Boy now you're making me want to go out with that Let's play a full on Ronnie Spector

Classic I was hearing some songs Ann Powers who I love Was on All Things Considered Yesterday talking about Ronnie Spector And was playing kind of a deeper cut Of hers That I hadn't heard I don't remember the name of the song But it was so good And it was a bit of a departure From the kind of Ronettes wall of sound That we're kind of familiar with Which by the way I freaking love so much I love that sound and that style But this was something that was a little bit Different than that and it was so good I should go back and figure out what the actual song was Maybe I can make my music for your weekend

Can you buy me some time here Can you filibuster Because I'm on the NPR website It's a three minute listen But it's also transcribed So I want to see if they actually mention What the song is One of the things

I'll just do a I mean first of all We have to reform the filibuster On this show Andrew It's not fair It's not fair that me Hailing from the relatively small city of Portland Have an equal vote on the show That you do Hailing from the massive metropolis of Seattle But just to paraphrase Anne's very nice two-way on the topic Which I would point everyone to go listen to She was talking about The influence that basically Ronnie Spector's music had On the Beatles And on the Stones And that all of those The kind of British invasion Those bands were all obsessed with The Ronettes and Ronnie Spector And that sound And just kind of the influence that she had was huge And that she basically created this character there was no ronnie specter before ronnie specter so it wasn't like she sort of created this whole vibe and sort of became the person that she dreamed of being not because there was someone else doing it and she was a knockoff but because she innovated it this like everything her fashion her sound all of it it sounds like maybe the song they played came much later in her career and maybe even featured Thank you.

joey ramon and it's called you can't put your arms around a memory maybe so i just was i was kind of wandering through the apartment um listening and i just remember having this thought oh that's a pretty cool song that i want to like investigate more should we let's just roll the

dice on it and if it's if it's um if it's not the best we'll we'll play a better one for music for your weekend although i have a different song i'm hoping to play tomorrow so anyway okay let's do this this is you can't put your arms around a memory actually that was the blurs day music Let's get rid of that. Here it is. You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory. Great title by Ronnie Spector featuring Joey Ramone.

All right. Thanks for listening, folks. We'll be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. Until then, have a great Thursday. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

All the smart girls know why. It doesn't mean I didn't try. I just never know why. It's because I'm all alone. Oh, baby, you're not at home. And when I'm on, big deal, I'm still alone. It's a restless I am. Beat my head against the pole Try to knock some things Down in my bones And even though they don't show The scars are so whole And when they go They let you know You can't put your arm around a memory You can't put your arm around a memory You can't put your arm around a memory Don't try Don't try

We have an amazing relationship. We both have so much in common. We both love soup, and we love the outdoors. We love snow peas and talking and not talking. we could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.

Power out.