Muse

You sucker. You better watch out you fool. Yeah, fool. Hey, fool. Sucker. You foolish. Foolish sucker. Better watch... Hello? Hello, is Eric there please? Speaking. Hey, sucker. Who is this? This is the Piper. And I want to be pied. Paid. Who's this? It's Jared. Jared Lowe. We went to school together. Did we? Yes. I assume you got my letter. No, what letter? Invitation. To a party? To a fight. What fight? Our fight. Oh, hold on, hold on. There's something here. There's a letter. Should I open it? Yes, I'll call you back. It's long.

TBTL Well, I guess it's official. I really wasn't sure about this at the start. But then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense. she said think of it more as a conversation i like that so then it hits me you take this thing called the radio and put it on this new thing called the internet it's so easy all you do is

point and click but how does it work all you need is a computer and a regular phone line hey do you

think you could be my funniness mentor i can definitely be your funniness mentor so if this

This is truly a conversation, and I say let the conversation begin.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL, a show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Is it too early, you got a fish sandwich?

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Oh, yeah.

Coming to you on this MLK Day from the Hollywood Broadcast Center, right here in Portland, Oregon where we've arrived at episode 3599 in a collector series let the fun begin had a television story air over the weekend and it wasn't until CBS started pushing out their social media content that i realized just how absolutely i look in the interview i'm so unbelievably tan looking i'm sorry i'm tan i like to be tan it just feels good and part of me wanted to just try to ignore the tweets from cbs and not amplify them in any way because it was embarrassing but part of me recognized just how hilariously ridiculous i looked so i had to had to tweet about it but then i had to tweet some context because i was i didn't want people to think i use spray on tan or i go tanning it was because i was in hawaii but But anyway, I'm glad that this here podcast is a purely auditory experience for all of us. I promise you it's better than seeing me do this thing. Speaking of seeing things, I saw a movie this weekend. It's on Nightmare Alley. So who needs a movie? In a movie theater. Inspired by our, I think, Friday conversation about movie popcorn. It set me on a trajectory. It set me on a collision course with seeing a movie. And I did. Maybe we'll talk about that. also it's it is a holiday we are doing the show it's gonna be kind of a i just i was about to say it's gonna be kind of an informal show as opposed to our typical extremely formal production uh so i figured we would maybe just uh go through some of these jeopardy questions that amy schneider the reigning champion she is just setting record after record over there in jeopardy town we'll go through this list of questions that she didn't get correct and see if we can get them. What is the love

ballad of Turd Ferguson? Nope. Sorry.

So we'll play some Jeopardy together coming up here on this holiday episode of the program. Probably we'll do some emails and V-mails and we'll talk to this guy, the longest running co-bro of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships.

This shiny guy always worries.

He is Mr. Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I just realized I can blame you for something, which is great. Congratulations. Yeah, happy Monday. I'm coming in strong with a division in our relationship. You know how the past two weeks I've really been kind of off my game, just not quite there as far as bringing whatever it is I bring to TBTL. You told me about it after the show on Friday, and you asked me to work on that.

And now people don't realize that we do a post more after every show. It usually takes between two and four hours. Well, the Friday one is long. usually, because you go over the whole week. I mean, the thing is, though, you have to watch the film. You have to spend time in the film room, and that's how you get better at this podcast game.

As I've said many times, you are the Hugh Jackson of podcasting. You're always saying, I've got to watch the tape. I've got to watch the tape. Well, it turns out the reason I've been off this whole time is because of your show sheets. Even that, that little stutter there was your fault, too. What am I doing? I'm just starting strong today You know you're still writing 2021 on the show sheets That's what all that big bullshit build up was too The word was S-A-R-T You're still writing 2021 It's like a bad joke from the Ellen show Still writing 2021 on your checks

It's the year of the monkey And I'm still writing the year of the dragon on my checks That's my favorite version of that joke

That's good

I feel like that might be a Jack Handy

something like that

or maybe it was Almost Live I saw that somewhere as a kid and it just slayed me

oh wait yeah speaking of Twitter because you were talking about social media before the show that's why I say speaking of what is the background somebody some famous deplorable tweeted out a quote that was a Jack Handy quote originally and everybody piled on them and then you retweeted it without comment and i was always i was very curious last week why you just did that was it kind of a wait it was james con right yes james con yes so what is he a deplorable wait is james i get some of those some of that generation actors confused i

thought james con was a deplorable is he not the guy from misery and the godfather films i mean maybe uh i don't um i didn't realize that was a jack handy quote i thought i didn't realize that was jack handy i also didn't think it was james khan like it would be weird to me if james i thought maybe somebody who's doing james khan's social media came up with that like it was just yeah i am so it made me laugh i didn't realize it was it makes a lot of sense that it would be a jack handy quote the quote was something like um uh before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes because then you're a mile away from them and also

you got some shoes or something yeah which i and that sounded familiar to me and i was looking and i was reading the replies and a bunch of people were like that's jack handy some other people said that's steve martin i think they were just wrong and misattributing it i think it's probably jack handy i'm not an expert in this field but i wasn't sure okay so first of all is james khan is not a deplorable i think i was confusing him with who's the uh james woods yes i think they're both named james in my defense like the first five letters of their names are exactly the same so that i want

to apologize by the way for that noise in the background that's randy he's just i can't got terrible twos he is desperate for attention right now i'm gonna send him home okay yeah i don't i

don't hear anything so i think you're in safe ground there but anyway yeah i don't know what's going on with james con i thought yeah i was just in my head about that so you just saw a joke and you thought it was funny and you retweeted it and yes i was trying to figure out the subtle layers

of there were no layers to it except for the fact that i didn't think it was even in that moment of retweeting i was like is it possible that actor of note sometimes mistaken for deplorable james khan just came up with this really funny bizarre thing like and i didn't think he came up with it I thought maybe someone is managing James Kahn's Twitter feed, and they came up with it. So something about it seemed off to me in terms of its kind of origin, but it did strike me as funny. Had I known it was Jack Handy, I would not have just retweeted it.

I'm seeing a bunch of places that are attributing it to Jack Handy. Like, if you just type in the quote. It totally sounds like a Jack Handy joke now that you say that. Gotcha. I don't want to get sued, though. I don't want anybody to think I was calling James Kahn a deplorable if he's not a deplorable. No, he's just a plagiarist Well, he's just a plagiarist, obviously, right I mean, that's what's worse Yeah, I don't know But you were avoiding Twitter this weekend I did not, and I still, even hearing you talk about your uncomfort with how you look I did not look up these tweets, but that was rough

Well, I just, so this profile that I filmed of Kirsten Dunst aired and what i realized was well i had been in hawaii you know right before this happened so i had been getting a lot of sunshine kirsten dunst also has very fair skin and they had i think they had sort of lit they'd lit the room so that it would look especially nice for the person who was the focus of the piece which was kirsten dunst not me but somehow it all had the effect of me looking upsettingly

tan like comically tan um i don't even think in the room i looked that silly but the way it looked on film was was hilarious and cbs is you know they read they tweet out like things to sort of generate interest and i saw it and that was the first i had fully realized how silly i looked and i was part of me wanted to call the person who does the online for sunday morning and say Can we use a different clip or can we not put that out? But then, of course, my desire to get the tweets, the retweets and the likes smashed is stronger than my embarrassment. So I then retweeted it myself and said it was Kirsten Dunst's greatest acting performance was pretending I wasn't upsettingly tan.

So I called him. Do you think it has to do with her? I mean, it probably has to do with the fact that you got back from Hawaii. But when I think of Kirsten Dunst, I think of her as having pretty pale white skin. Yes. I don't know if pale is a bad sounding thing. Obviously, she's beautiful, but she does tend to have a whiter shade of pale as far as her skin is concerned. So I wasn't sure if maybe – are you contrasting that a little bit? Do you think that exacerbates it?

I think it exacerbated it. There was some of the footage we were out walking around on the river in Austin, and I don't look as weird outside in natural light, too. So, again, I think it was the lighting. I think it was the contrast of her very fair complexion. But, yeah, it was embarrassing. Also, I was shiny, which someone pointed out. Like, I was embarrassed about the tanness, but then someone said, the shiny guy always worries or whatever they said. And then they said, please don't block me. I really like the show. I think they might be a 10. I was like, I hadn't even registered that I'm somehow both tan and oily in the footage.

I got an email. Oh, I got to respond to this because at some point I got an email from a listener or a message. This is the problem. Things come in via all the different sources. I don't know if it was a text or an Instagram. I got to get back to this person. But I'm still getting notes from people who are a little bit sad that I've blocked them on Twitter. and it all goes back to that time like was it six or seven years ago now where somebody bought me a bunch of fake followers as a prank I think was a listener and then I went through and I tried to use some sort of service that would identify all the fake followers I had and so I blocked like hundreds and hundreds of people and some accidentally blocked some wheat along with the chaff so I'm still getting notes from people who have accidentally blocked have you considered doing Luke This probably isn't how you use Twitter So it's probably not appealing to you But I tweeted out a really dumb joke Late last night I was watching a bunch of Succession Kind of catching up on it And it's very clear why the show is called Succession Because the whole point of the show Is it's about who will succeed This media mogul and take over his empire And so I just tweeted out When will they ever explain why this is called Succession It's not necessarily a good joke at all It's just like a dumb passing thought

What's the Demi Adichie eBay song? He sings about who gets a kiss from daddy.

Oh, you know what?

To the succession music.

I should go, like, I just basically, I don't know if I purposely, but I kind of guess I didn't get or just avoided all of the jokes around succession when everybody was watching it as a cultural moment. You know, like, we're in between seasons again now, and I'm just catching up and watching it for the first time. Can I play this for you really quick? Yeah, now it'll be funny to me.

Oh, got it.

Uh-oh.

all the rich white folk are going to argue and the new ever's best is going to win a kiss from daddy all the rich white folk are going to argue and the new ever's best is going to win a kiss from daddy all the rich white folk are going to argue but only one will try and win the prize of daddy's love

Et cetera, et cetera.

Yes, you know what? I did hear that back then. I just, I didn't get it because I didn't know what was going on. But anyway, when I tweeted out this exceedingly stupid joke at like two in the morning or something, I realized, oh, I'm going to do that thing where people can't reply to it because like sometimes I just tweet stuff out and it's not supposed to have any purpose whatsoever. But then people always just need to respond and some things don't need responses. So I did the Paul F. Tompkins thing, which inspired me. I think I saw he had done this earlier in the week. Like, you can just say, I only want the people who I tag in this to be able to respond to it. And I didn't tag anybody in it. So it's like, it's just, you know, it's not going to get a ton of engagement, you know, because I've locked it down. But also, I don't care, you know, like, I'm not doing it to get my, what do you call your online social presence rating? Q rating? Yes. I'm not, like, doing it for my Q rating. I did it because I was drunk. It was my D rating. And so anyway, I was just like, yes, like I don't need people to like either step on this joke. or explain it to me or not know that I'm joking or somehow turn it into how many antibodies. What did I tweet out the other day? Antonio Brown was, like, doing that silly thing where he's, like, leaning into somebody's face and pulling his mask down so he could talk. And I'm just like, it's... Yeah, it was just from when he went to the... In what context? He went to the Lakers game. I want to say Lakers game. I could be wrong about that. He went to some basketball game the day after he ran off the field. And the whole point was just that he was there. He was, you know, whatever, just the whole drama. Have you seen this? I'll let you finish. Anyway, let me just say really quickly. So the whole point was just kind of like I just see people do that move all the time. And it's kind of while it's dangerous and angry making, it's also just kind of silly and mockable. Like people really don't get the mask thing when you're just wearing it around in public all the time. But then when you need it the most, when you lean in to talk into somebody's ear, you remove the mask. I'm just like, so I just like tweeted something that's like, oh, yeah, I see this move a lot. And then, like, people are in my DMs, like, well, he already had COVID, so his antibodies are probably up right now. But I'm just like, this isn't about his antibodies. It was just like a casual observation, like not everything. Oh, yeah, somebody was like, I just wanted to bring the counterpoint. I'm like, there was no counterpoint. It was just a silly observation. Like, I feel like the website is designed to have people bringing counterpoints to things that don't need counterpoints, that weren't points to begin with, really. It's like, anyway.

To be countered.

Yeah. So I was just kind of like, I tweeted this thing out. I'm like, I just don't need people telling me why this is actually called succession. Like, I know why it's called succession. I also know this isn't a great tweet, but it doesn't matter. But like, it felt very empowering. Like, I'm taking control of my tweets.

um well a couple things on the antonio brown subject i saw like a photo actually i think it might have even been like a very quick video that was basically i think the four people you meet in hell whatever that mitch album book is the four people you meet in heaven or something wait did he write that one or he wrote tuesdays with more definitely tuesdays with maury i don't know some book about the people you meet in heaven but anyway this is the people you meet in hell it's like kanye west oh yeah donna antonio brown julia fox who kanye is now dating she's um maybe best known as being uh adam sandler's side piece in um uh uncut gems right yeah that's fine and i forget there might have been one other person it's like was maryland manson busy oh the other person was floyd mayweather i think did you say that mayweather thank you yeah i mean what a hellscape

No, that thing is making its way around. I don't know. It's just like two, three, like what? A four second scan of the room and they're all just sitting, but they're all sitting on the couch facing the same way.

And they look miserable, by the way. They're like all people pretty. I don't know Julia Fox's deal, but they're all people who have at some point sort of been problematic in one way or another. They're all hanging out together and they don't look like they're having fun. They look miserable.

Antonio Brown and Mayweather definitely look like they're kind of in detention or something but Donna's grooving out if I recall I don't know the context for that also like what else is like who's filming that maybe like if we see the rest now why am I trying to even defend it but it is curious it's like Hitler such a very specific frame of a moment that I'm just like what else is going on in the room what's going on behind the person holding the phone

what was the group chat like What's the text chain of that? Did Madonna start it? Hey, I wanted to try to get together some of the most problematic people going currently. Hey, does anyone have Ben Shapiro's number? Can we loop him in? It's just like, oh. Where's Alan Dershowitz? Right? Speaking of football players and specifically the Pittsburgh Steelers, I have to share something so embarrassing with you, Andrew. More embarrassing than my tan yet oily face being on national television, I sent out a triumphant text to our sports text chain yesterday at about 3 p.m. West Coast. And it was celebrating the bet that I had made, the many bets that I had made on the Kansas City versus Pittsburgh Steelers football game. And the reason that I had bet heavily Well one thing is the Seahawks obviously are eliminated They're not in the playoffs So I have to find some other Sort of attachment point to these games And my attachment point as I was explaining to Becca On our jog yesterday is Just rooting against teams That gets me and then betting on them So that I have a financial incentive And peace and love To our listeners in Pittsburgh Who are fine folks But I find Ben Roethlisberger to be a...

I mean, I'm surprised he wasn't in that hang with Kanye and Floyd Mayweather.

I can see him.

He's had multiple credible allegations of sexual assault, trigger warning. Does it count as a trigger warning if you say it after you say the thing that's triggering?

I don't think that's how it works.

Trigger warning, I don't know how trigger warning works. I'd like to mention if you're triggered by people not understanding how that works, this will be triggering.

We'd like to welcome in the audience who is listening backwards right now. Hello.

If you're backmasking this, whining women, whining women. That was one of the things that was supposedly backmasked into, I forget.

I'm trying to remember, too. Dio or somebody. You can say that forward.

I've said this rant before on the show, but it's like the things that were supposedly backmasked into the satanic albums of my youth were so innocuous. Like, this is what you're going to do? You're going with wine and women? That sounds like a great Friday night.

Yeah, I mean, it's literally in the sign of that Italian restaurant down the street.

It's like not, it's like, it's not kill your parents. It's not like some really, it's like, you know what? Maybe a nice kind of a funky natty Pinot on a Friday night with some nice ladies. Wine and women. Anyway, I was feeling really, so I bet very heavily against the Pittsburgh Steelers. And I specifically bet on Ben Roethlisberger being exposed as a subpar quarterback, because that's the only we don't have justice in this world. And this is a person who should be in prison, in my opinion, for the things that he's done. Also, side note, do you know he's the one who introduced Trump to Stormy Daniels? No. I mean, talk about a zellig like figure of terribleness.

No, I had no idea.

yeah he he was the one the story from stormy daniels is ben roethlisberger introduced her to trump and then later showed up at her hotel room and menaced her was knocking on her door and attempting to force his way into her hotel room jeez that's stormy daniels account of ben i mean it's just the list goes on with this guy roethlisberger and what's so frustrating about the nfl and the coverage of the nfl is the way that because this is his final season hopefully he's just being feted and like they'll just be like our like hour long packages of like the greatness of ben roethlisberger which it just feels so grotesque to me based on this guy's personal conduct so the way that i process that my fecklessness in this matter is to bet a bunch of money on him getting under 28 completions on um kansas city who by the way does the tomahawk chop so there's no not unproblematic as a way of celebrating your team again peace and love to our listeners in kansas city and uh chiefs fans out there can

we get rid of the tomahawk chop luke luke again not that you're asking for a counterpoint here but they did write andrew this doesn't need a counterpoint they wrote i'm turning off replies They did write racism is bad in the end zones. Did you not see that? Like, I think the NFL is a force for good in the world. Like, just calm down, snowflake. The back of the helmet says end racism. I know. So they solved it.

Job done.

Wait, just.

Job done. I've decided I'm going to start saying job done, by the way.

Oh, okay.

That's, I think that's a Britishism, I believe. And the reason is because I follow a guy. I'm going to be all over the map today, and I make no apologies. But I follow this guy on TikTok called, like, The Pool Guy. He's this British guy who cleans up very, very gross swimming pools. Oh, I think you told me about him a while back. And it is so satisfying to watch. I mean, just like a swamp of a swimming pool, and then by the end of it, it's just sparkling blue water. But he always, when he finishes, he goes, that's job done. And then I was listening to this podcast over the weekend called Sweet Bobby, which is comes out of the UK. And the host, who is British, said, that's job done. So I realized I think that's a thing they say over there. I'm sure our listener, Paul, our UK correspondent, will clarify. But I was like, I want to start saying job done. I think it's kind of I think it's kind of has a nice ring to it.

I'm still excited to hear, though. Yeah. What did you put that's embarrassing? Because, I mean, I saw some text flying around yesterday, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention, to be honest with you. What did you do?

So I'm watching the game, and the other bet I had was for Kansas City to win every quarter, meaning they have to score more than Pittsburgh in every single quarter.

That doesn't mean that they just have the lead at the end of the quarter, but it actually breaks down every quarter. So you could have the lead, but they could have the lead.

lead but you could still lose that bet if they were just hanging on I believe so I've never won

this bet so I don't but that's my understanding of it is to win every quarter you have to not only have the lead but you have to score in each quarter you have to outscore the other two gotcha that's an

interesting bet okay I just had I mean

again this was just me trying to in some way karmically and cosmically damage Ben Roethlisberger with my betting so i'm watching the game and it was incredible the first play from scrimmage is a flea flicker that is an interception they have no points at the end of the first quarter i am rolling andrew pittsburgh that is has no points it is just a dominant performance by kansas city and that's when i'm tweeting to all of you life's good i sent a picture of my nachos i had made i made a giant thing of nachos i'm watching the game but it's something strange is happening which is sometimes i'll go over to the kitchen to get some more nachos or something and it's like the game has skipped ahead in some way and i'm like is there is it glitching what is happening but it's just kind of this weird vague thing and so we're i sit down and i'm watching and then i realize like they punted but then it just goes right to kansas city having the ball and i'm like this is so strange what's happening andrew when i tell you i was watching the nfl network's replay of a game between the chiefs and the steelers from earlier in the season a different season

well when you said three o'clock you were because i'm looking i don't know if you gave yourself up on the on the text message i didn't okay i was too embarrassed i'm like this wasn't i kind of knew early on i'm like wait this was sunday night football the game didn't begin until like after five o'clock so i had a feeling i thought you had dvr'd it i thought you were something like you somehow turned on your device and it just automatically went to the dvr'd version of a

previous game i was watching the wrong football game but it was probably still made way more

interesting by the fact that you bet on something but then crushing when i realized this was not

the bet did not relate to this game right so what happened was i i went to the nfl's app is one of the worst designed apps out there and i have a theory about it which is that they don't want to just give you the scores like the information that i want from the nfl app is basically what time is the game on in my time zone and who won that other game that i didn't watch that's all i need from them but if you go to their app it is just a mess of auto loading video highlights and all kinds of bullshit and my theory is it's because they want to get you into becoming a paying subscriber to whatever the thing is so they don't just give you the info which is they don't just give you the info you want so you can go on about your day they're trying to entrap you with all this in-app purchase bullshit. And so they hide, like, it's so hard to just get the basic information, and I hate that app, but I still go to it multiple times a day during the football season. And I had gone to that app, and it had said 5.15 was the time of the game, but I thought it was 5.15 East Coast. Oh, sure, yeah. So at 2.15, I'm trying to find the game, and I go to the, I guess, CBS station or whatever here in Portland and it's showing figure skating and I'm super confused so then I just talk into my remote control and I say Kansas City Chiefs and then it says it shows me NFL Network and it's Kansas City Chiefs are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers and I think that's interesting that that's not on like a you know typical broadcast network it's interesting that the NFL Network has the rights to this game these are the thoughts that go through my head and I'm so I just start watching it and again that text that I sent you all was at the point where I thought I had won like four to five hundred dollars already just on the game except

I was watching the wrong football game and see I'm looking for the text that actually so did you said oh you I see life is good I think that everybody just assumed that life is good had

to do with the nachos probably well that's why I left it alone but now I'm just telling you

Now, how did your actual bets play out?

I mean, I did okay. Of course, he got 29 completions because of garbage time. So basically, I lost that bet. If he would have thrown one less completion, I think I would have won that one. I ended up ultimately winning. I was actually watching for that for you. Yes, that's right. Because, in fact, I mean, not to turn this into the no point, But I think what we learned this weekend was the expanded playoffs are kind of a bad idea.

because you had two teams in particular, the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Philadelphia Eagles. Again, peace and love to our listeners in Pennsylvania, both West and East. But those were both teams that just did not belong in the playoffs, and they looked like it. They were just horrible. They were just both very bad teams. Like, the Seahawks would have outperformed either of them in the playoffs. And, in fact, I think there was even, I just saw the headline, but I think Troy Aikman was sort of complaining about having to cover the Eagles-Bucks game because of how bad the Eagles were.

Do you know that Troy Aikman is 6'4"?

I would have guessed that because he was a very successful football quarterback, and that's kind of the prototypical height for that kind of quarterback.

I should have made you guess. I was watching that game with Genevieve, sort of just kind of like lounging around. It was kind of a nice weird Sunday where we kind of woke up and were lollygagging around, and football was on but it wasn't important you know i mean like when i'm watching the seahawks or the browns like i'm trying to watch every single snap and like you know then there's this pressure of like i mean i like it i love i do like there's a reason i enjoy football sundays but it's kind of like okay i'm gonna throw in the chicken wings now okay during the commercial then i'm gonna come back and like every snap is important then a game like because i don't usually watch other games on sundays maybe the occasional evening game but usually i'm just watching my two teams now here we had some game that didn't matter to me on super wild card weekend and I could just like kind of talk to Genevieve and somehow we started uh googling oh I was wondering if um I'm sorry that I'm babbling I was up way too late last night I don't think my brain is right this morning but I'm tweeting I was I was wondering if Jalen Hurts was short because there were a couple of passes that it looked like it kind of he just got it through like the hands of defenders like it kind of popped out of the scrum and I was like I wonder if he's short so I looked up his height he's not particularly short I think he's like six one or two and then Genevieve said that's about right so we started looking up all the heights of a bunch of quarterbacks and yeah I'm pretty sure Aikman is six four and Roethlisberger is six four they were some of the

tallest guys yeah Aikman kind of was part of that I think sort of I don't want to say beginning but he was kind of from that prototypical like six four not mobile but but but you know can really throw the ball far and throw it accurately kind of quarterbacks um that you know i think he went to did he go to sc troy aikman also not nobody got up this morning wanting me to weigh in on troy aikman's looks but i have to say troy aikman is keeping it tight yeah he's a good looking man

it's funny like guy looks good for his age i'm looking at a photo of him right now that like pops up when you when you just like google his name and it's like it's really terrible going back to your dilemma like the lighting is weird like he's a good looking guy but like here in this photo with the flash and the lighting he no he just looks like uh i don't know he looks like his face is malformed almost but he's when you just see him just chatting on tv he's a very handsome

man yeah nice looking dude uh and um i hope he's not a deplorable but i don't know it's hard to

He's good in those commercials. What was that commercial where he's pretending like he doesn't really care? Some fan comes up to him while he's buying beer in a quickie mart, and some fan comes up and starts talking to him about some great throw he had done or some great victory in his career, and he was like, oh, I don't, you know, football's behind me. And then his cell phone goes off, and his ringtone is the announcer call of his great play. Do you remember that? That was from like five years ago.

No, I don't know how I missed that commercial.

He was really good in it. It's just like it's that little bit of act. Like, he didn't have to do much, but sometimes not doing much is a difficult thing if you're not an actor, you know. And so he had a real natural presence in that commercial, a humility that made me laugh.

I feel like Tony Romo is getting kind of weirder with time. Like, the story with Tony Romo as a football announcer was, you know, he retired from the Cowboys, you know, when he still probably had a couple of decent seasons left in him. And I think it was, you know, slightly shocking to people. And then he went right into the broadcast booth and then he had been playing so recently that he still knew all the plays and all the coverages. And so he was kind of it was really fun to watch a game he was calling because he could just predict everything that was going to happen because his knowledge of the game was still, you know, highly up to date. And so then, you know, he was it was considered a big success. I think they, you know, they signed to a huge contract. He may have even been making more money. he may make more money as an announcer than he was as a player. I think so. Which is pretty slick. But I feel like he's just – I can't give you an example, but yesterday during the game I was watching that he was calling, he was saying something about – this was the real game, by the way, not the imaginary game that I thought had won me hundreds of dollars. But Patrick Mahomes had to become the all-time lead.

he had thrown he had tied trent green for most touchdowns thrown as a kansas city chief and trent green is also an announcer i think he also worked for whatever it is cbs you think i also work for cbs you think i would know i can i email tony romo does he have a cbs

account it's just type in c-r-o-m-o is he my colleague technically yes but he was basically

I forget what exactly he was saying But it was something about Trent Green And it was like I think the joke he was trying to make was You know, sorry Trent You know, you've You're now tied with Tony Or you're now tied with Patrick Mahomes For, you know, sort of all-time touchdowns And basically that you're not going to have the record Much longer Because he's about to throw another touchdown And you will then be in second place He's trying to make some joke to that effect But it just got so weird The way he was talking about Trent Green And he's like our fellow broadcaster And he was like, and I have some news for Trent Green. Then he starts kind of whisper muttering. And then like the kind of din of the game is drowning him out. And I was like, is Tony Romo okay? Can someone check on, is he having an aphasia right now?

Some of those mixes are weird though. It's amazing how you can get a very different kind of viewing. And I guess in this case, listening experience, depending on which network is broadcasting the game. Maybe I've just watched too much football at this point, but like Fox has that. It's almost like Fox is like kind of it's almost a washed out look sort of, but then also kind of hyper, almost like because they have Cletus, the robot. He's the TD technical director. I love that. And then, yeah, I think CBS, I think it's CBS or maybe I'm just saying this because that's what you brought up. But CBS sometimes has a bad wash of sound where they're really kind of drowning out the the announcers. I might be wrong about that one, but that could also be, you know, part of the problem there. I don't know why I'm defending Tony Romo.

It's the guy standing on the sideline with that parabolic mic.

Yeah, it's like, God, point it down for a second. Can I just tell you one other casual thing? I'm sorry, were you about to make another point or were you about to move on? Okay. I was about to move on. If you're about to move on, let me keep us here. Andrew Walsh, he'll keep you there. As Vives and I were just like, again, kind of half watching TV, drinking our coffee, And then I start Googling the heights of various quarterbacks, current and former. And then Joe Buck, I think Joe Buck was announcing that game yesterday alongside Troy Aikman. I'm like, oh, there's Joe Buck. Nobody likes Joe Buck. And Genevieve says, why doesn't I don't mind Joe Buck? And I don't really have an opinion on Joe Buck, honestly. And Genevieve says, why does anybody like Joe Buck? I'm like, honestly, I don't know. I think that maybe he kind of shows his ass a lot while he does the broadcast for the World Series. I think sometimes people believe there's bias in there, but, of course, fans always see bias. Like I know I do when I'm rooting for the Browns and the announcers are excited that the Ravens scored. I'm like, you weren't that excited. I was monitoring this on my excitometer. You were more excited for the Ravens touchdown than the Browns. You're in the bag. But anyway, so I'm like, I don't know why people don't like Joe Buck, Genevieve. Let me look it up for you. And so I Google it. One of the first responses takes me to a Reddit thread. Why do people dislike Joe Buck? And the first quasi-coherent answer was, and I'm reading this directly, because if you were the only person in a row of 30 urinals who would walk over and use the one next to you, that was like the number one answer for why people don't like Joe Buck, according to Internet.

I, I mean, I think that the pushback on Joe Buck is the pushback. I mean, you've already sort of described it, but every single announcer pretty much like particularly of like football games is pretty loathed because every single fan of every team feels like that announcer is secretly rooting for the other team and you can pick it up in their tone of voice, et cetera, which I just think is the curse of being a football announcer. I like the fact that Joe Buck has been very public That he almost lost his voice due to his hair transplant Oh, I didn't know about that So he got a hair transplant And somehow in the recovery He got an infection of some kind And it paralyzed his vocal cords And he almost lost his career over this I think he wrote about it Like he put out a memoir And I thought that was I appreciated the honesty of that whole thing and he was talking about his hair transplant saying yeah I was so vain I'm paraphrasing here but something effective I was so vain that I just I didn't want to be bald and so I ended up imperiling my career over my vanity yeah because

you're you're you're on TV as part of your job so you're like well looking good as part of that so let me let me look better by getting this thing that then it takes your voice away it's almost

biblical right it's sure it is and and I mean honestly Joe Buck would still have his job even if he was totally bald like there are plenty of

people that have that job that are bald like he it was and i think he accurately described it as just his own vanity him wanting to look a certain way um but anyway just that kind of that level of honesty i made me sort of appreciate him i mean he who knows what the guy's like if you're talking to him in real life maybe he's a little pompous or whatever but i i it's interesting that it sounds like you couldn't find an actual good real explanation as to why people don't like him other

than an imagined bathroom scenario yeah i just i the thing is i still don't know exactly what that says about joe buck i guess he's just like he can't he can't read a room he's just like overly friendly i don't know i also don't know if that's accurate but i just thought it was funny that that's that's that's the answer that the internet gave me yeah um well good stuff yeah i

good stuff good stuff good stuff good stuff i was i what you heard in my voice there was the temptation to talk more sports and football but then the realization that this isn't the no point but then the realization that it is a holiday and we're here working so we can do whatever we want but then the realization that we should go to a break because it's 41 minutes into the show and then also the realization that we may or may not even get to these jeopardy questions i've been promoting for like three episodes that was all of that was going through my mind when you just heard that tremendously awkward pause well just you can always just insert a good stuff

there actually don't if we start joking around about that we will start saying it in earnest we

need to avoid that i'm interviewing i i think i texted you the photo but i'm interviewing michael sure the the creator of the good place and um the uh uh what's the other thing that he's done wasn't he um brooklyn nine nine or am i wrong about very possibly i think i think he was part of the office the american version of the office i think he played most i think he played dwight

Schrute's brother oh really oh that's him oh that's funny I knew he was a showrunner but I didn't know that that he also acted yeah I'm looking at him now oh that's interesting because I've heard him on the Levitard show so many times I didn't picture him looking like

this yeah right and he but he is a huge fan of that show the Levitard show and I texted you I'm interviewing him about a book he wrote the book is looks very funny too it's like how to be perfect except the T is missing yeah yeah yeah which is a pretty great visual joke yeah um but i was i was saying to you like how much of this is just going to be me talking about lebitard with him yeah and the live wire producers being like we can't use any of it anyway all right let's take a quick break and then we will be back with more at tbtl in a moment hey let's thank some donors that's my new thing I love it

hey job done

instead of

hey job done it's kind of a kind of a British that's job done

but it goes from but this is and this is the range I bring Andrew Hey, that's job done It's right from the Fonz into the British pool guy Let's thank Robbie Cowan Of New York City For supporting TBTL today Thank you, Robbie Hey, look, it's Hey, Jeannie McMacken In Port Townsend Washington Your old stomping grounds I think Jeannie's friend now rents what used to be the TBTL studio in Port Townsend.

Oh, the post office. That was a great

studio. God, that was such a really cool place. It was shit for audio and also internet was terrible there. So basically the two things I needed it to be which was a good audio space and have a good internet connection.

It didn't have either of those things. But by having a bad internet connection I couldn't hear how bad the space sounded So it kind of worked out That's kind of a, I guess you'd call that a

Silver lining alert Anyway, thanks Jeannie Thanks also to Beth Middlehoven In Renton, Washington Beth And then Mike Wren is in Albany, New York We had an Albany, Oregon last week

Yeah Now I'm on edge, you said Albany And I'm just like, I don't know where this is going to go

I know So, just a real cliffhanger of an episode today. Thanks, Mike. Patty Hollingsworth is in Auburn, Washington. I'm just going to try to leave a really dramatic pause now before I say the cities.

Well, this next one will be interesting.

Eric Hamilton is in Walla Walla.

Connecticut.

Yes. I don't know how you guessed that.

Do you have this list in front of you? Nope.

I wonder if Walla Walla, Washington is the.

only Walla Walla that it's gotta be right I believe that's a Native American I was gonna ask yeah so I'm assuming that that was specific to a particular Native American tribe in Washington and that it's unlikely there would be another Walla Walla anywhere else yeah I think you're right thank you so much to Eric Patty Mike Beth Jeannie and Robbie thanks to our donors of the day for uh making the show possible we would not be here here on this mlk day without you hello and welcome to top story stressing out there andrew because i was hearing out of one one earphone uh or one side of my earphones what i thought was an ambulance now i feel very invested in there being no ambulance sounds in this neighborhood because it was part of why i moved I was bragging it up the other day Which manifested an ambulance During the show Now I feel like every ambulance that drives by here Is basically A rebuke Of my decision making abilities You know I have a lot really really invested But that was a false alarm Well it was far away And I was talking over it And I was playing the top story sound effect To try to mask it Kind of a lot going on there Hey, do you want to try a couple of these Jeopardy questions?

You did not just hear Bull from Night Court say okay twice in a row. I just did. No, you didn't. That's a rebuke. I moved out of my old apartment.

I have a lot invested, Andrew, in not hearing Bull saying okay softly in the background of this episode.

You just caught me. I was, so our buddy Lynn had heard that we were in want, we were in want of a cleaner cut of bull from Night Court saying, okay, and he found some and sent them to us, and then I was just kind of in the background here just downloading them and from the email and putting them. Stop all the downloading, Andrew. Yeah, you know, well, I mean, I was listening to you, I was doing my job, and then when instead of hitting download, I accidentally hit play, and you heard, okay, okay, and then

But here's the question, and I appreciate very much Lynn doing that. In fact, I even sent an email saying, thanks, Lynn.

That's how I knew you were thankful.

But isn't it kind of better the shitty TV sound? I know, yeah, that's the dilemma. I mean, it raises the question, at what point is the joke better like this?

Okay.

Versus, can you play the good one?

Oh, I already moved it onto my library, but I can have it here in just a minute if you just give me a little bit more time. Okay. Versus. Well, it's nice to have choices, right? In fact, we have two different ones. Okay, so we hear that one. Now, these two that Lynn sent us, so here's version number one. Okay. Okay, and then here's number two. Okay. So two different, so we have three different versions. Well, I have one with a laugh track. With a laugh track, we have four different versions. Okay.

It's an embarrassment of bulls.

How many other podcasts have four versions of Bull from Night Court saying okay? I feel like we found our niche for real. Like, there can't be. There is not another podcast. No. The millions of podcasts. Right. There is not another podcast that has four versions of Bull from Night Court saying okay.

What is the differentiator? When we're doing our goals with Beth Perlman, our supervisor, what is it about this show that's special is that we have more versions of Richard Mull. Wait, is that his name?

Yeah, I think so. Bull from Night Court.

We just celebrated his birthday last week.

Yeah, that's how I think it came up. Yep.

Yeah, we have more versions of that than any other show. I mean, like you said, out of the millions of podcasts. I mean, podcasting is also, it's almost into a multiverse type of situation where, you know, I'm pretty sketchy on the details of the multiverse, but my very sort of bad understanding of it is that everything is possible. Because if we agree that space and time is infinite, it means that every possible thing that could happen is happening somewhere else in a different universe. Because if you're talking about things being infinite, that means there's infinite possibilities. So there's a version of life somewhere else, Andrew, where you and Genevieve host this show. There's a version of life where I host this show solo. There's a version of life where we only have three bowl sound effects.

There's a version of the show where you host the show or a version of history where you host the show with Richard Moll. Yes, that's a possibility.

Yes. Everything that could possibly happen is happening somewhere because of the.

infinite nature of the universe. That's my understanding of it. I could be wrong. But podcasting is a little bit like that now. There are so many podcasts that almost everything is possible and almost everything is happening somewhere on a podcast, except the singularity that is us having four different bull sound effects.

We have to turn that into our slogan or we have a quote on the web page about a little braggy quote. I think ours is from a listener and says it's a good way to learn nothing about the news of the day or something. I can't remember exactly what that quote is, but we need to replace it with the podcast with the most clips of bull saying, OK, from Night Court.

Well, really, what we're saying is more bull than any other podcast out there. That's what's really going on. OK, this will be fun. Let's just do this for a few minutes and we don't have to finish. This list is actually fairly long. There's like, what is there, 60 or so questions on here? Fifty nine questions. I haven't looked ahead. which is amazing that Amy Schneider has actually gotten 60 questions wrong because she has just been absolutely crushing it on Jeopardy. I haven't been, I'm weird with Jeopardy. Like, I treat Jeopardy the way some people treat TBTL, which is I like to watch it in order. Yeah, okay. And Becca and I watch it together a lot, but I don't like to skip ahead. So I've just, I think, gotten into the Mayim Bialik phase of Jeopardy. So it was Ken Jen for a while I did watch the Mike Richards episode Which was surreal It's like you're dead and you don't even know it And by the way He wasn't a terrible host Oh yeah I think you said that I wanted him to just be awful And it was like nah he was actually fairly competent Had there not been all that other stuff This behind the scenes skullduggery I would have been like I don't know this guy's capable I guess I think actually everyone who's done I think Mayim Bialik seems fine at it I think Ken Jen's great at it but anyway, I've been waiting. I want to watch them in order. So I haven't even entered the Amy Schneider phase yet, but she's apparently doing amazing. And also I guess she has a specific, I don't know the number, but she, it's like some very small number that she always bets when she gets the daily double. So what they call it.

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I'll make it a true daily. Yeah, but she like, cause you know, there's this like, there's a theory with jeopardy that if you get the daily double, you have to max your bet because it's the only other time. No one else can buzz in sooner than you. So you have a sort of built-in advantage over other questions because you can just sit there and think about it for the whole time, etc. And there's like James Holtzauer, the guy who was just making tremendous amounts of money on Jeopardy with these kind of avant-garde betting strategies and what clues he would pick. Amy Schneider seems to be a little more old school. She's just so flippin' smart. She just gets it right all the time. Anyway, I should say she gets it right almost all the time. Here are some of the questions that she missed. Okay.

Before you start this, I have a great idea. How about this? Because we're going to try to get these right ourselves, right? So when we get it right, we'll play this. Okay. And when we get it wrong, we'll play this. Okay. All right.

Wait, can I play my bowl? Let me get that set up in the right system. That's the sound of me dragging that sound effect. So when we get it right, play the Full Fidelity one, okay? Okay. And when we get it wrong, we'll play this one.

Okay.

With laughter. Good, good. With laughter. Good, good, yep, good. Okay, so here we go. Oh, I also, well, I guess I can't play my music and my bowl sound effect, but that's just as well because I think that the Jeopardy, final Jeopardy theme song can get a little mind-numbing after a while. All right. State capitals by county. Merrimack I don't know the answer to these by the way Oh Merrimack

It's funny that you Do I need to say the name of the state This is the first one I know because I live there

You want to say the state capital Okay So Merrimack County is where

Where is Concord, New Hampshire Is that how I'm sure the answer

Okay so this is Concord the capital of New Hampshire New Hampshire Okay we're putting you down as Concord state capitals by county merrimack county concord absolutely right my friend activate

the sound effect that's right i mean that's just amazing like honestly when you started introducing this i'm just like oh this is gonna like obviously if if she got them wrong we're not expecting to get them right but also in me puzzling them out it's gonna really expose my ignorance on a lot of things it's like showing my work is gonna be a nightmare i can't believe we began with one in

the city i used to live in that's amazing sometimes the sun just shines on you my friend historical fiction michelle moran wrote of this beautiful woman queen of egypt daughter of eternity wouldn't that probably be cleopatra that's what i

I was thinking, but if the contestant got it wrong, Amy got it wrong. Amy, yes. So smart.

I've linked on her name. How do you spell Cleopatra, by the way?

There's a C. There's an L. There's an E. There's an O. There's a P. There's an A. There's a T. There's an R.

Okay.

All right. Cleopatra. Are we going to go with Cleopatra?

Yeah, I have no other. Where's the answer key? Is it in this thing?

Andrew, I'm sad to report.

Okay.

Indicating we did not get it correct The correct answer was Nefertiti Oh, okay Nefertiti I bet you anything Amy said Cleopatra as well So I don't feel so bad Yeah In the category of Omaha Omaha Late publisher of the Omaha World Herald Henry Dorley gave his name to this The state's number one attraction What is the state's number one In Nebraska What is the state's number one attraction And what is his name again What Dorley Henry Dorley Henry Dorley gave his name to this The state's number one attraction The Hank door The Hank door The Henry door What's the state's number one attraction In Nebraska

It's a giant door It says Hank on it Okay I'm going to put the Hank door in Okay, I'm not even going to get close to my keyboard to play my bull. You can actually fold your computer up and put it in the other room. I'm going to just drive a spike through my computer.

I feel like it's going to be something.

State's number one attraction, but he lent his name to it. So I feel like what are nicknames for Henry, Hank, Dorley?

Right, the Henry something. Is it a museum? I thought Warren Buffett was the number one attraction of Omaha. just following him to Burger King in the morning for his breakfast. Do you know this? I mean, supposedly Warren Buffett, I've seen him actually say this, so it's not supposedly, but I guess he's not married anymore to, I believe he's divorced or separated from his wife. But for many years of his life, his wife would put out the exact change of a, I think it was either Burger King or like Wendy's like breakfast sandwich. And based on the change she would give him Like either be like $1.80 or like $2.70 It would either be a single or double breakfast sandwich And he would I think she might have even like put the change in his car or something And he would just get in the car And he would look at the amount of change And he'd be like well that means today is going to be a single breakfast sandwich day But if she put more in It would be today is a double breakfast sandwich day Which is kind of charming but also deeply weird

Yeah also get Apple Pay My dude

tap

my dude yeah just tap alright I'm putting the Hank door in the whirly-dorly maybe it's an amusement ride

the whirly oh okay oh number one attraction okay I'm gonna put the whirly-dorly hey Andrew have you put your computer in the other room yet because I think you need to move it

even further away

it won't let me log in anymore

for some reason after that

and I'm I'm sorry to report Andrew that we've got a

okay No, it wasn't the Dorley Dorley.

It was the zoo. The Omaha Zoo? Yeah. That's kind of a lame answer. Is it the Dorley Zoo, though? I'd side with Amy on these.

Is it like the Dorley Zoo?

It just says zoo. It's probably the Henry Dorley Zoo, I'm guessing. I mean, if he lent his name to it. Okay. Yep. Another Omaha question. Omaha, Omaha.

Okay.

Blue 42. Omaha is on the west bank of this river Opposite Council Bluffs, Iowa We have to name a river here? Well, now this is interesting because Is Council Bluffs I've been to Council Bluffs actually many times You think I would know this That's not the Quad Cities though I think you've got Davenport, Iowa There are like these four cities that are all kind of along the same river But I don't think Omaha is one of them

I got a little bit confused there So we're looking not to name the river But the town that's across the river

Right now we're looking For the river name Omaha is on the west bank of this river Opposite Council Bluffs, Iowa Is it the Whirly-Dorly River By any chance The Oh man Is it the Again And let's just mention that Jeopardy! champion Amy Schneider couldn't get these. So I feel less bad that we have no idea. Our listeners in Omaha and Council Bluffs are pulling their hair out. Let's see. It can't be the Mississippi.

I don't think it can be the Mississippi because that's too far west.

the mississippi correct yes yes so what is that river what's the river though again it's so sad i know that that's in cleveland and across that what's sad is i've been i have i'm sure i've looked i've gazed upon this river because i've spent like i said i've been to council bluffs a

lot um weirdly uh so you think i would know what's like what's not the snake and it's not the columbia i gotta do it by uh process of elimination how many rivers do we have left I've crossed off five. There's like one river left in America. So what is the last river in America?

Snake, Colorado, Mississippi, River, Phoenix, Phillip Rivers. It's not Phillip Rivers, is it?

I don't. Is it the Phillips River? Let's see. Is it the Phillips River? What is the Phillips River?

I'm muting my microphone, Andrew, because I'm under attack from yet another ambulance.

Oh, really? I do not hear it. So you're in good shape looking at it.

Here's a question for you on I-84 here in Portland.

Do you think anybody's ever gotten an answer technically wrong in Jeopardy because they phrased it as a question, but they used like the wrong question word for lack of a better. In other words, if you're supposed to name a river, but you say, who is the Columbia River? Would that be wrong? Because you said who is instead of what is I?

That's a that is a very good question. I don't know the answer to that, but I remember I think it was Matt Amadio who was another kind of long running champion who I believe he would say that about he would say like who is about like, you know, inanimate objects or things that were not people. Really? And I don't think he got dinged for it.

I wonder if he just did that so he could give the same answer all the time and not have to worry about that. Interesting. I would go with where is that through everybody for a loop.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I'm putting Phillips River in. So let's go ahead and...

They call it the 8-8 River.

Ah, Andrew, come on. Okay. Is it the Colorado?

It's the Missouri. Oh, the Missouri River, okay. I mean, you sound really... I don't feel like...

I'm mad at myself. I didn't even realize the Missouri River ran over there, but I have heard of it. All right. Hut, hut is the category, but it's not about football. Here's Siemens Hut. That's S-E-A-M-A-N, apostrophe S. Just get your minds out of the gutter here on this holiday. Siemens Hut used as an emergency shelter in this country's Kozuzko National Park. K-O-S-C-U-I-S-Z-K-O National Park. I've got a theory. That sounds Polish to me. Yeah, I was going to say that sounds Eastern European. Polish or Romanian.

And we have to name the country?

Country.

It has a national park. Are we going to go Poland? Where is Poland?

In honor of your chuchus. And we're going to get a big deal. Australia, Andrew.

Oh, really? But that's definitely an Eastern European sounding. I wonder if it's just like somebody, you know, because of the history of that country.

If it would have been like Bangaloon or something, we would have probably. Again, I feel like this just means we're in step with reigning Jeopardy champ Amy Schneider, that we're also getting all of these wrongs. Book title math. This is not going to end well.

No, book titles and math. Great. Okay.

1956 Dalmatians minus 2003's, Andrew, wait for it, People You Meet in Heaven. Oh, that is Mitch Albom, by the way. I looked it up. Wow. Okay, so how many people do you meet in heaven since you just looked it up?

I don't have it in front of me anymore, and I don't want to cheat. You had said four, and then I left the number off, and I just said people you meet in heaven.

First thought, best thought. I'm going to say four. So it's 101 Dalmatians minus four, maybe. Okay, so 97. 97. Okay, I'm going to put in 97 here. Oh, it must be the five people you meet in heaven.

I was going to say five. I don't know, but five sounds more right. Five sounds like a book. Four sounds like a novella. It's 96.

I bet you Amy had the same math issues that we did.

This is a fun category. Can we stay with this category, or have we moved on?

She apparently aced the rest of them. Damn it, Amy. This is the list of just the ones she got wrong. That's a fun one, though. World Capitals. An annual event called Winterlude includes skating on the Rideau Canal, R-I-D-E-A-U Canal, A UNESCO World Heritage Site in this city. World capitals. Rideau Canal. That sounds French.

Oh, I was thinking Iceland, but I'm not looking at it. Okay, gotcha. EAU is French sounding, but it's a UNESCO.

world heritage site it's a world capital with a french sounding canal it's called winterlude though which is english or did they translate it could that be german and the canal canals make me think of venice and amsterdam what about what

Let's do Amsterdam, then, out of any of those, yeah.

Amsterdam. All right, here we go. Oh, Andrew.

Okay.

Apologies to our listeners in Ottawa, who are throwing their phones right now. Ottawa.

Yeah, I've been to Ottawa. Nice city. Got stuck in Ottawa.

Periods of time. Thumb sucking might be part of this, an infant's first stage of development, according to Freud.

I was going to say, who is Freud? Okay.

Oral fixation, right?

Oh, yeah. What is or where is oral fixation?

Who is oral fixation? Andrew, please dial up the full fidelity.

OK, we earned it. We earned this. Yeah, baby. Nice. Nice.

Named for a place. Lyme disease derives its name from the town of Lyme in this state where cases were first observed in the 1970s. Interesting. So Lyme disease was discovered in the U.S.? It's definitely Maine or Vermont. It's up there in the northeast I know this

Really? It's not down south I was thinking down south Because of the money I'm pretty sure That it's Interesting

It's like It could even be New Hampshire We did have one New Hampshire Maybe New Hampshire Is a blind spot for Amy And that's why She didn't get Merrimack County either That's interesting

Why does Amy hate New Hampshire?

Hmm Yeah Let's start a rumor

Let's go with Maine

Maine Okay Maine Oh Okay Okay It's Connecticut

Connecticut Okay, you were right about the part of the country, though. Kind of. I wouldn't have gotten us up there. I would have been like Mississippi, Alabama.

World history. In July 1776, he set sail from England aboard the Resolution in Search of a Northwest Passage.

The Northwest Passage, that's... Who was that? 1776?

Yeah, that was when we were, I believe, declaring independence, or we had secured our independence.

200 years later, I would be born.

Uh-huh, as would I.

Does that help? No.

Yes. Okay, working backwards.

Okay, so you and I were born in 76. Okay. I love that you introduce me all the time as this young man.

This is my friend who was born 200 years after the founding of this nation.

So you're a little bit older than me, so it starts with me. I was born in the week of the year. Yes, and then you were born going backwards, okay, and then 1776, I mean, the Northwest Passage, this is one of those embarrassing ones, because I feel like, oh, yeah, this should be very obvious, yet Amy didn't get it right, so. That's right, so I feel less bad.

Richard Mull. How do you spell Mull?

M-U-L-L. So is this something where you actually type it in, and it gives you the answer? Oh, interesting, I like this. Exactly.

He set sail from England aboard the Resolution in search of a Northwest Passage. Also, did he get there? Or was he, like, was it someone else? So he was, I want, because this also could be slightly misleading in that he's not necessarily.

He might not be English. He could just have.

And he also might not have actually discovered the Northwest Passage. Maybe he was looking for the Northwest Passage. Resolution. Oh, you know what? Is it Shackelford, maybe?

Do it. I have no idea.

Shackleford, he was always doing, he was always, um, up to something, up to something. Well, Shackleford, Ernest Shackleton, Ernest Shackleton, because remember he also, his ship, he was, he had a ship called like the Endurance that got caught in the ice down at the South Pole, and then they had to abandon the ship, and then the ship was destroyed by the ice, and then they lived on this island, like he and his dudes, and then a couple of and went off in a basically small boat using Dead Reckoning to find help, and they did, and no one died. I'm going with Shackleton, Ernest Shackleton.

Dead Reckoning is an amazing R.E.M. record. Yeah, it is. Dang it, Andrew. James Cook.

Okay. I was proud of my – I thought I had maybe outsmarted Amy, but I hadn't. You can quote me. Ralph Waldo Emerson asked, what is one of these but, quote, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered? Oh, I think I know what this is. Wait, read that again. Ralph Waldo Emerson asked, what is one of these but, quote, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered? Okay, he loves plants. Is it marijuana?

I think it's a seed

Oh it's a seed Don't you think? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered

I love it A stranger is just a friend you haven't met

And a Luke is just a person Who gets a lot of things wrong You were more right than you knew The answer is a weed I mean you said marijuana Also if you would have said weed You would have been technically right We've got that band's number Is this category Matt Healy, lead singer of these Brit rockers, was born 14 years after the year in their name. Oh, interesting, interesting, interesting. So, it's a British rock band. The lead singer is named Matt Healy, and it has a name. With a number, specifically a year.

Oh, wasn't there a 19... They were a song of the summer contender. Wasn't there a band called I'm breaking down over here Wasn't there 1979 1979 is the Smashing Pumpkins No the night It was called the 1975 No

Not the Taylor Swift album Wasn't there a Taylor Swift album called 1989

Yes there was This isn't it But this is We used to play them The 1975 First thought best thought I guess, but that's not right. You're going to get the right answer, and our heads are going to explode. The 19...

Okay.

Yeah, the 19... I'm putting it. 1776. No, the 1975? That's wrong. The 1975. Put the 1975. I'm...

Andrew, the answer is the 1975.

Okay. All right. For some reason, it just... It looked right in my brain, but it sounded wrong in my mouth, which is um i i believe that was a review somebody left for me on one of the dating sites uh that doesn't make a lot of sense um okay yeah the 1975 now that i have the confidence of it yeah it's the 1975 i think they had a song of the summer contender one year good memory

all right cutis and serena is nothing to worry about it's just this quote foul reaction to cold or fear so there's something called cutis and serena uh-huh it's nothing to worry about it's just this quote foul f-o-w-l so pertaining to you know birds foul reaction to cold or fear

um i well okay i was gonna ask you a dumb question but that's okay how do you spell foul as if it's you said f-o-f-o-w like as opposed to f-o-u-l oh yeah you said w and i'm picturing a u even though you said a w okay they're both have u in the word uh i am struggling today what a bad day to do this quiz okay so it's something that birds you got the 1975 andrew no one can take that away from that is true i mean i and i got there smoothly i'm gonna edit that so that i say it confidently hold on actually let's do this here i just want you to retract all of your parts from the show oh yeah dog that's the 1975 type it in luke all right there we go i'll punch that in

later so confident yeah um so there's something called cutest and serena yeah but it's nothing to worry about it's just a reaction to cold or fear okay so and it's foul yeah what do birds do

do they um shit when it's cold or they're scared um i'm gonna type shit in and then i'm gonna ask

you to move I'm gonna ask you to move your computer to another room again no what would

a bird do oh wait hold on hold on no no no no no let me get another shot at this that was just a joke answer uh molting do they molt no why would you molt when you're cold you would need more feathers okay go ahead what is it it's goosebumps oh it's a joke

it's a play on words trabec yeah yes okay uh mid-atlantic states a mid-atlantic city where you'll find the crypt of John Paul Jones. Mid-Atlantic City, where you'll find the crypt of John Paul Jones. I'm going to say... Balmore. Either Baltimore or somewhere in Virginia, right?

That's a good point.

I was thinking Baltimore. I'll say Baltimore, too. I would be unsurprised if it's... I would be unsurprised to find out that it is Richmond, Virginia as well. But let's put Baltimore.

If it is Baltimore, I will wear my Orioles hat around town today.

Oh, nice.

I do love it.

Annapolis

Oh Okay

Let's see I'm skipping around a little bit Let's do a couple more here Dennis Quaid movie roles Andrew

Oh A-lister Noted A-lister

Dennis Quaid For those who don't know

I still think I'm right Genevieve and I got into an argument a long time ago about whether or not Dennis Quaid is an A-lister. I claim him to be an A-lister. I think we even put a poll out there. I don't think I won that poll, though.

Would a B-lister play World War II Naval Commander Bull Halsey? Bull? Okay. Dennis Quaid movie roles. World War II Naval Commander Bull Halsey. I guess they want to know what the

film is. What the film is? Goodness gracious. What is

inner space i'm wondering if it was like pearl harbor like he was just in that movie i could

see him being in pearl harbor do it can we go with pearl harbor do it do it do it i'm actually gonna even get my i'm gonna get my drop ready here oh no okay midway oh midway interesting

dennis quaid movie roles second question what i love is that amy was undeterred She missed Dennis Quaid movie role number one And she said I am not going to let that stop me From reengaging with the category Smooth talking New Orleans police detective Remy McSwain Dennis Quaid movie roles By the way the fact that Amy Schneider Didn't know the answer to these questions I think sort of pushes back on the idea of him being an A-lister Well she's a nerd Smooth-talking New Orleans police detective Remy McSwain Dennis Quaid movie role

Bad detective

Well, that's the only thing I can think of That's a bad lieutenant, right?

Or bad lieutenant, sorry, yes

I don't know If you put a gun to my head, I couldn't spell lieutenant, by the way

Yeah, there's an I, there's an E, and there's a U Veeves and I were While you look that up, I'm going to tell you a little Very, very short story here Veves and I went to Teddy's yesterday for the first time in a very, very long time, and we were sitting at the bar, and we started talking about Wordle to our friend there, and he had never heard of it, and we showed him how it worked, but we had already, like, kind of done the puzzle for the day on both of our phones, and then Veves said, I want, let's just, we can just do Wordle if we just, like, write it on a notepad, like, create the grid and write the alphabet underneath it, and then we come up with words and we go back and forth, kind of like Hangman. And so we're sitting at the bar and we played maybe six rounds of it or something. And like everybody was like, what is the game you're playing? I want to play. And not one of the people at the bar knew what Wordle was. And it really reminded me of how not everybody lives on Twitter. Like, you know, people will always say, like, Twitter isn't real life. Twitter isn't real life. I'm like, yeah, but it's kind of a reflection of what people are saying. But like, there's nobody on Twitter who doesn't know what Wordle is. I feel like Wordle is the only if you were to ask me, what is the number one thing in America people are talking about this week? I would say Wordle. And then we probably met eight people yesterday who had no idea what Wordle was, and we had to explain it to them each time. By the way, I happened to turn on Morning Edition or Weekend Edition right as Will Shorts was saying how many turns it took him. Explaining Wordle. And also, I beat him on both of those. He said he got Abby and Five and Tangy and Four or something, and I beat him on both of those. So I'm smarter than Will Shorts.

I commented to Becca yesterday. I don't think Will Shorts needs to explain Wordle to the people listening to this

Yeah probably not He kind of drops some shade He said like oh well it's the classic game Of blippity blop

He knows the name of The original game which is Kind of shading Josh Wordle the guy who invented it Or is credited with inventing it By kind of saying oh yeah that's patty cakes We used to play that on the schoolyard It's like come on Will Will's just mad because someone else is getting in on the puzzle

Yeah, exactly

By the way I am struggling with this week's puzzle Did you listen all the way through?

Yes, the one that is nickname related, right? It's interesting I'm dying to hear the answer Do you have it in front of you?

We needed more Becca and I decided we needed more context So for folks that missed it The puzzle this week is It's three five letter words and the last four letters of each word are the same and they're nicknames and they go in alphabetical order so it's like A, B, C, consecutively I was like, but then is it a nickname for a person like Bobby or is it a nickname for a loved one like Honey?

That's interesting, I mean it could be either by the way this truly was a coincidence and you don't believe in a God Like, I had not heard the morning edition puzzle or the weekend edition puzzle in probably years. And then you brought it up that it's kind of become a tradition in your house. And I found that really charming. On Sunday, right before I turned on the football game, I was in the kitchen making coffee. I turned on the radio and I like it was like in a movie when they turn on the TV right at the news clip that they want to see the relevant news clip. I heard no preamble. I just turned it on, and they were just launching into the puzzle, and then I turned it off after the puzzle. It's exactly what I heard. Yeah, let me know if you text me later if you guys are brainstorming on this. Maybe we can put our heads together.

Is Duddy a nickname? Because you could have Buddy, Cuddy, and Duddy.

Oh, Buddy.

That's kind of a stretch because they're supposed to be common nicknames.

Yeah, that's interesting. Is it a specific name? Is it like Bobby, Robbie? I mean, those are clearly too far away. That's the problem.

That's where I'm running into trouble We kind of honed in on the LMNOP part of the alphabet Because it's Larry Mary, except that's a different spelling The problem is there's two R's in Larry Only one R in Mary

See what happens, Mary

It seems like it should be really easy I have a feeling that when it's revealed I'm going to be mad Because I'm going to be like, that's not a common nickname

What if this just becomes a regular segment On TBTL We are the podcast that has the most drops of Bull from Night Court saying, OK, and the podcast that spends the most time trying to figure out the Weekend Edition puzzles.

By the way, the answer to the Dennis Quaid New Orleans movie was The Big Easy. Oh, that's in New Orleans?

Funny.

You know, it was set there. Is that in Council Bluffs? B movies. Last one because I think I can get this one right On a high note for once Cameron Diaz did plenty of swearing On the job when she was supposed to be instructing Students in this 2011

Comedy that is one of Genevieve's favorite movies I haven't seen it but we have some drops from it Really yes we're talking About Bad Teacher I believe

Ah Andrew please Select one of our four Bowl saying okay Sound effects to wrap this up

Okay here let me see if I can find the bad teacher sound do you want to just do this i accidentally just deleted i went to hit search but i hit the delete button instead so i just randomly deleted some mix that i've made some intro mix for the show is gone forever now that was a bad thing for me to hit all right do you so you don't have a bad teacher no i'm just getting it here it's the internet radio one

do you have any music carl have the internet radio i love internet radio

you've come to the right place is that cameron diaz i have that i believe that's cameron diaz yes and i believe that is the guy from um reno 911 whose name i'm blanking on right now oh thomas lennon yes i think that's thomas lennon although i'm not sure here i go once again with

the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female

any emails or v-mails yeah before we hit the road on this monday i got two

emails related to a dilemma i had the other day i think maybe it was exactly a week ago that this came up i said that i uh just realized that my phone can wake me up with a song off of spotify like basically any song i want which i was excited about until i realized that puts me in a weird position because I don't want it to be a song I love because then it'll I'll associate it with waking up when I don't want to wake up in the morning and it'll ruin the song for me. But also I don't want to wake up to a song I hate either. So what is one to do? And Caitlin wrote in to say that this is a topic. It's one of my few grown up things I have figured out. I have the perfect song. Now, this is interesting. I haven't played the song yet. So we're going to sample it because it's it's surprising to me. This isn't what I thought we'd be waking up to. It's the perfect song for me, at least. I'm a light sleeper, so I don't need much to wake up. And I prefer a gentle wake up in reaction to the gruff, loud way my dad would wake me up on the weekends when I was growing up. So anyway, Caitlin says, Say Yes by Elliot Smith is perfect because, number one, it's a soft, pretty little ditty. It says yes in the title. It encourages me to embrace the day. the recording starts with like a gentle little cough throat clearing which is usually enough to get me out of bed so here do you want to hear a little bit of this do you know this song pretty well yeah I do or can

yeah let's do it I was also going to say we could go out with it

well I have another suggestion too that I want to run through too yeah let's hear that we could maybe go out with this but let's start it from the beginning here so I'm sleeping dreaming about why does Genevieve trying to take that duck through security at the airport craziest dreams by the way

Saturday night Sunday morning Andrew Five more minutes, Mom.

I'm in love with the world

Through the eyes of a girl It's just study hall today. I don't have to be there for a minute.

They broke up a month ago And I grew up, I did not

I, Kaelin makes...

a compelling argument. I'm not heavy into Elliot Smith. I think you're kind of with a big Elliot Smith phase,

right? Yes. That just, well, that has just changed the course of my day. As I wrote on Twitter once, Andrew, like, Morning Edition can't just casually use an Elliot Smith song as their bumper music, because it changes the whole trajectory of my day. Well, in this case, I love that song, and I will now be listening to Elliot Smith for the rest of the day. Let me try

one. This is a very, very different vibe, but this one also makes a lot of sense to me. And I apologize. I grabbed this email and copied it over here and I left the person's name off of this. I am so sorry. But somebody wrote in to say, I also recently discovered the ability to set my alarm to a Spotify song and I chose, this is a great idea, Breakfast Machine by Danny Elfman from the Pee Wee's Big Adventure soundtrack. It has a good instrumental build and it does not ruin a song that I would otherwise enjoy listening to. It does, however, make me disappointed my lack of domestic Rube Goldberg machines because of course Pee Wee Herman wakes up to this song and again I haven't sampled this like in this context yet so I'm excited to hear it but of course the famous scene Pee Wee Herman wakes up and then like he's got all these Rube Goldberg machines that help him like kind of get out of bed get dressed and make breakfast so imagine this we're kind of snoring here you'll never take me alive

I dream that I always dream I'm a 1940s gangster Oh. Yeah. Ooh. I don't think I remembered how it starts. It sounds like an alarm.

Okay.

This part, if I was really tired or hungover, I could hear this part being a little propulsive for me. You'd destroy the phone. I don't know if I'd destroy the phone. I like that beginning, though. Yeah. The chimes are very kind of... It's a nice, you know, it's a nice, calm way to wake up. But then it gets into that kind of, like I said, propulsive. Also, I'd just be visualizing like toast on like being held by like a clothespin.

Yeah. It was a fishing line. And for some reason, one of those perpetually pecking chicken toys. Yep.

I was trying to find. I guess I wasn't in on that email because I was trying to find the person who suggested that. Yeah.

My apologies. Do you want me to take a moment here to figure it out? Do we owe it to that person? Yeah. Why don't we? All right. Let's just do this. If it goes on for too long, I can clean it up and post. But really, the thing that's going to take the longest here is signing into ever since GoDaddy changed that email format. You should go through like 17 different screens. And then every time it says, do you want to remember? Do you want to remember your login? Stop reminding me. I say, yes, stop reminding me.

Stop remembering that. And it never remembers it. And it asks me every time. And I feel like it's part of why, do you know, Andrew, that I personally hacked my way into the mainframe and was able to file my time card for this job over the weekend?

So we had this conversation off air, but you were basically jumping through hoops trying to get, you were locked out of all of APM's systems, right?

Well, what happened was a couple weeks ago, it stopped working for me, and I called, and the very nice person who helped me but didn't sound like maybe they were 100% up to speed on what I was dealing with basically just said, well, try it in Chrome, and then I was like, okay, and then I did it in Chrome, and it worked, and they were like, yeah, you just have to use Chrome now, and I was like, okay, but then I went back to Chrome recently, and it wouldn't work. i called the same person they said well have you done in an incognito mode and i was like there's no way this is the system yeah is that i just have to use incognito mode to trick chrome into letting me into the system to approve our time card um so i just and i was back going back and forth with other it folks and and uh emailing our poor supervisor beth going can you approve my time card even though i haven't approved it because you know of this problem so i just on saturday i just kind of like threw a hail mary and went back in using safari the thing that supposedly didn't work anymore and it worked fine oh really so yeah so it was chrome that was creating the problems i don't know but i just know safari works again so i will just my place my my is not to ask why but only to hit submit on my time card until i'm interrupted again

by something and then i'll freak out again i still don't have an answer for you i think maybe this note came in some way other than email so i hope that was good well maybe you can remind us

if you if you suggested that song if you want to remind us of your name we'll give you credit tomorrow on the show yeah probably i'll forget it again what was the song that you had a thought on

for going out music well i was just good let's we can go back to say yes by elliot smith if you'd like or um again i don't know elliot smith's work enough to pick something else but maybe you would

like to pick an elliot smith song i wonder are you able to get i don't know if this is in spot Let's go.

or not but there was elliot smith did a cover of all my rowdy friends oh right yeah we've played that and have we played that before i really love i really love his version of that song um it was off of um the photographer autumn dewild did a uh a photo book of elliot smith kind of in the style of the boy with the red balloon and um uh after he had passed away um they released this book and it had a cd this was how long ago it was i think i interviewed her for like day-to-day or something it came with a cd and the cd was a previously i think unreleased recording of elliot smith at largo in la at the old largo just playing and there's a bunch of great songs off of that but i particularly like the all my rowdy friends cover that he does i got

it here i think uh via youtube i'm pretty sure he does a lot of banter at the beginning though right so i'm cutting yeah he says 30 seconds here maybe yeah do you want to hear you want to hear a

country song no no it's um and then uh he kind of messes up two-thirds of the way through the song which is of course charming that's what you need to embrace andrew if you're having trouble just remember it's charming when we have trouble that's right smith forgetting the words to all

my rowdy friends and me forgetting what words mean on the show on a daily basis all right that's

gonna do it for today's episode thanks for listening everyone we'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you until then have a great monday uh and uh please remember No mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

But I need to find a friend just to hang around. Nobody wants to get high on the town. And all my rowdy friends have settled down. Yeah, I think I know what my father meant When he sang about a lost highway And old George Jones I'm glad to see Finally getting straight Wayless staying home and loving Jesse more these days And nobody wants to get drunk and get loud And all my rowdy friends have settled down

You go ooh and ah when I jump in my car. People treat me like this Hall of Fame L.A. Lakers Center. Power out.