Muse

So, I thought that maybe, uh, you could think about next Thursday night, if that's good for you. I-I can get tickets to, uh, to Nonsense, because I really want to see that before I die. It's their nuns and they sing, uh, and there's a lot of improv.

TBTL! I'm-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this, why anyone would do this. The reason anyone would do this, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could. which they can't.

That was a joke. Humor is the tool of the interesting. Warning, do not confuse any lightheartedness in the following video with a glib attitude toward the problem at hand.

He was telling me how he's the Jesse James of rock and roll. And then, right in the middle of a sentence,

bonk, a coconut fell on his head.

Hey, look here, why don't we eat us a few thousand beers and you tell me what's buzzing in the big bad city.

Alright, hello, good morning, and welcome everybody, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Too beautiful to live. You're still doing a podcast? That's the one. My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host. And I'm going to get all anecdotal on you. Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center in Portland, Oregon. And if I sounded a little distracted there at the top of the show, part of it is that I'm looking out the window from the Hollywood Broadcast Center. And for whatever reason, there were like four different people walking down the street. And they were all kind of looking up at this window where I am doing the broadcast from. It was sort of my Beatles broadcasting from the roof moment. And I just thought, wait, are those The first thought was, are those 10s Did somebody figure out where I live Is there going to be a crowd Outside of my building, people watching me do the show And then my second thought was I do have pants on, right Because for the first Couple of weeks that I was doing the show From here, occasionally I'd stroll in here Maybe in my skivvies And do a thing or two, not usually TVTL Get your minds out of the gutter But like if I had to run in and maybe record a quick piece of voiceover or something and then one day i was down on the street and i was able to look up and actually locate the window that i've been standing in and realize it is extremely outward facing like you can see everything and so um i decided that from then on i was going to be wearing pants when i do this show because people would be able to tell if i wasn't anyway That's apropos of not very much Here on episode 3602 In a collector's series Let the fun begin I promise we do have an actual show planned for you On this Thursday Including some interesting audio tape Now that's interesting A tape of a kid absolutely owning Dick Clark On Kids Say the Darnedest Thing Kids and fantasy And then also some audio of my new hero A TV reporter in west virginia she was hit by a car and continued doing her tv reporting job you know

that's live tv for you it's all good i actually got hit by a car in college too just like that

uh the hero that we need uh here in 2022 is this tv reporter in west virginia so we'll play that audio and um oh speaking of things that are painful like being hit by a car i uh spent three hours getting tattooed yesterday you're entering a world of pain be weird if that's how i said tattooed all the time tattooed hey would you like to see my new john prine tattoo i do have a john prine tattoo now and um give you a full report on that whole procedure oh and because it's a thursday aka a blursday do the blursday messages all that with the help of this handsome young stranger a soulful rocker from new hampshire who's doing the work who's baby stepping Who is the longest running co-bro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships He's Andrew Cobra Hounds Walsh And he's joining me right now From the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington Good morning, my friend

Good morning, I'm dying to ask you Where you got this tattoo yesterday Where on your body you got a tattoo But I'm also dying to tell you something That a listener, Dave, told me via email yesterday Which, um, obviously you understand where this would take precedence over Tattoo Talk. Got a lot of emails about people's own personal experiences with The 20 yesterday afternoon. Of course, that's Regal Cinema's... You mean The 20? The 20, Regal Cinema's erstwhile...

promotional video that they would show before. Nice use of erstwhile. Thank you. Before videos. Or before movies, I should say, before the trailers. Anyway, it's now called like, um, Regal's First Look. Anyway, according to I haven't seen that, by the way. Yeah, I think it changed name. I was looking at the Wikipedia page. The 20 didn't work out. No. The 20 didn't work out? Yeah. Anyway, listener Dave says it was Maria Menounos who hosted it. Oh, that. Which is kind of exactly what you were thinking. Is it somebody like that who we now all know and did we know who she was then i'm wondering when did she break big

i feel like i became aware of maria menounos when she was on entertainment tonight yep um but i don't know where that was relative to the 20 it was at a time when i was still vaguely aware of who was on the television show entertainment yeah tonight yeah which would been kind of going back a ways because i grew up you know um i loved entertainment tonight it was uh it was like john tesh lisa gibbons maybe and i would go to james demuth's house because they had lax rules over there and uh and and they would have entertainment tonight on in on a tv in the kitchen while shirley demuth was uh making dinner and i would sit in their kitchen and watch entertainment tonight at just absolutely uh you know mesmerized but then i mean nowadays that show

i don't i don't know who's on it do you think when historians look back at this general era at our generation they will mark things as when they happened before the 20s existence and after the existence of the 20 and when then what do we call what do we call the brief period like the three years when the 20 existed that's just called 20 days they call it 20 days actually even though it was about a thousand days but we still need to hear the tape i mean i guess we've

yeah most of the mystery has now been solved um so i guess doesn't we don't need to spend too much more time on it but i would be curious i would like to know if there's tape of maria menounos

hosting the 20 yeah i would like to hear now that we have a name maybe i can do some digging on that later i'm uh seeing i got a note here from matt i also got a bunch of text messages last night people saying i don't think it was regional because i was seeing it up in the in the seattle

area or what have you so uh this may just be a result of my time optimism yeah oh yeah i've never been to i mean i've never been i i do try to catch the trailers it's it is really one of my favorite things uh about film although you know what i wonder if this is just the hollywood theater but i feel like i didn't i i've been to two films at the hollywood theater now here in portland a licorice pizza and then um nightmare alley last weekend the guillermo del toro film with bradley cooper and kate blanchett and neither one has had any trailers before it is that a what's

going on with that whoa i went full scooby-doo there what do you there must be trailers no i

I don't think there were. Now, maybe the licorice pizza. Licorice pizza was in 70 millimeters.

Oh, right. The screen is like curved. I forgot you got to see that.

So maybe they don't put the trailers out. And I don't know enough about this technology. Maybe they can't get the trailer in 70 millimeter. It doesn't work on that screen. But Nightmare Alley was just like a typical kind of smallish upstairs movie theater at this place. And there were no previews, no trailers.

Well, you missed out because Genevieve and I have been obsessed with one of the trailers we saw before Licorice Pizza. When I say obsessed, I mean just like Genevieve the other day, we were just like in the living room together. I don't even know if we were talking. I think we were. I think we were chatting about something. And then just out of the blue, she just says, another problem with the movie is, and then she goes on to complete her thought. And I just said, I don't know what movie you're talking about. She's like, oh, sorry, I've been having a conversation in my head for like 24 hours about the trailer for this movie, Marry Me, that we saw the trailer for before Licorice Pizza. Are you familiar with this at all?

Just today, I saw a mention of it, and all I could think of was the maybe joke from Arrested Development. Oh, oh, marry. Oh, right. How she's always saying marry me. Because that's maybe when maybe becomes like a screenwriter. She just keeps saying marry me to people. And when I saw that headline, that also went through my head. So that's my level of awareness. I know that it's a film that is coming out. I don't know anything about it.

It is. So I was thinking about it. I also pitched Genevieve, our rom-com idea called. I don't think it's called proxy. I can't remember what the name of it is, but the proxy wedding rom-com idea, which is so much better than the idea for this marry me movie. And also the problem is. And so it's got J-Lo and Owen Wilson in it. OK, they're like the romantic leads. and there's how many wows I almost I almost feel like

We should just get Genevieve down here so she can do her rant because I'm watering it down. But there's no chemistry between these. Go for it. Do you want me to call her? I have her number. Actually, yeah. Do you want to try – will she pick up if you call? Are you doing it? Yeah, but I'm typing – I'm not fast on this thing. I could also use our new system, I suppose, although – What's your new system? Well, just I could use our Google Voice to call out now. I don't know if she's more likely to pick up. All of our numbers are weird, right? I have two different systems with which to call people through my studio setup, but, like, none of them say, hey, you're getting a call from TBTL. One of them says, like, you're getting a call from some weird borough in New York that nobody knows exists. I just texted her. To make this even more esoteric, the issue, the reason you heard me pause there is because usually I like to text from my computer because it's obviously just faster to type on my laptop. but what it's really doing what iMessage is doing is it's just kind of speaking of proxies it's like the laptop is just kind of referring back to my phone you know what i mean like the laptop doesn't text to the person it just knows it just talks to my phone and it's just an easier way to do it but sometimes it gets weird and it's been being weird today like the laptop is a lot of messages are not coming through to the laptop so i had to type it by hand but i did do it andrew i said hey could you come on tbtl to discuss marry me and i'm uh so i will keep you updated on what genevieve says sorry i'm trying to call her now but now the question is will she recognize this number that i'm calling her from which i don't think she will by the way since we've been talking i've gotten two scam likely phone calls so oh thanks for that by the way i've gotten not this number oh What's up Hey Genevieve We got this number Thank you for picking up Did you know that this was TBTL calling you

Yeah I'm very organized You know I put it in my phone As TBTL listener line

Did you get my text Can you hear Luke Genevieve

Say something Luke

Can you hear me Genevieve Did you get my text

I don't think I can hear him

Luke Our whole system Okay Don't Don't get bogged down Andrew This is just your time to interview Genevieve about Mary. I'm just hearing silence. Oh, no, this is terrible, Genevieve. My whole system of you being able to hear Luke isn't working. But in the meantime, here's why we're calling you. I started to explain to Luke the concept of the movie Marry Me and why it's not good. And then I realized I'm just biting your rind here. I'm just watering down all of your hot takes. I got so worked up about it. Exactly. So can you just kind of give us the lowdown on Marry Me? and just imagine that Luke is in the background laughing while I try to figure this out.

Okay, so you need me to just, like, recap the plot and then, like, a brief, as brief as I could make it, an explanation of why I think it's so terrible.

No, tell her to go long. Go long. Luke says go long. We have a small show sheet today.

So the premise, and I, like, let me just preface this by saying I love a dorky rom-com. Like, I don't mind a silly premise for getting too, you know, two, an odd couple together, and then they fall in love. But the premise of this one is J-Lo is basically J-Lo, right? She's just a super, super famous, sexy pop star. And she's about to do a big stunt on stage where she marries, she sings her new song, Marry Me, and then marries her also equally famous pop star fiancé. but like minutes before and by the way the the trailer is so detailed that i mean you really have seen the whole movie if you've seen the trailer so the uh right before she's about to go on stage for this big marriage this big wedding she gets like on you know tmz reports that her fiance was caught cheating so she's embarrassed that she's got the show must go on and so she goes out on stage meanwhile owen wilson and i think sarah silverman yes i'm watching the

trailer can confirm yes so you guys can hear each other now i fixed it yeah i can i can hear luke

hi genevieve hello yes it is sarah silverman so sarah silverman and and owen wilson are just normal and he kind of gets dragged to this concert as like her plus it's sort of like her friend who goes with her or maybe like with her daughter or his daughter it's a little unclear there's a kid involved while he's standing in but he's basically like i'm just here as a tourist i don't even know who this pop star is i like teaching history and then he he's standing in the crowd and somebody hands him a sign like a homemade poster that says marry me like just hold it for a second for whatever reason so he's just holding it absent-mindedly and j-lo's up on stage and she's just like in the in the spur of the moment like i'm gonna do something crazy i'm gonna marry that

guy and of course he's pulled up on stage and they're married you know legally and bindingly on the stage he doesn't really even know who this person is and then so that she quote doesn't seem crazy she maintains she insists that they maintain this fiction um so that like she doesn't seem like she's just some kind of like cuckoo bird who got married for a second and then gets unmarried which is by the way a thing that all pop stars do so it wouldn't even seem that crazy and then and then like the thing you know and then i mean look at britney spears right she married that jason alexander guy not the one you're thinking of that's the other one i didn't even i don't know if i even knew that happened yeah like years years and years ago now britney spears went to i think it was in vegas and married some friend of hers who right and then it was like annulled within And, you know, you know, five minutes later, they got it annulled. I think that was before the conservatorship. It probably played into the conservatorship. So anyway, so then, of course, the rest of the movie is them realizing that even though he's a normal and she's a famo, they are in love and they get married. So not only is that a very stupid plot, which I said is OK, it's OK to have a stupid plot, but you could not find two people who have less sexual and physical chemistry together than Owen Wilson and J. Lo. I mean, and they're both very appealing people like she was very sexy and had a lot of chemistry with George Clooney in Out of Sight. Owen Wilson has been a, you know, a believable romantic lead. But, like, I just feel like if you put all the celebrities' names in a hopper and pulled out two names to be the stars of this movie, you couldn't have had worse luck. You would randomly pick two people who have better chemistry than these two.

Veeves, you have so nailed this because just watching the trailer, I was struck by that how I mean you're absolutely right also the trailer is like four minutes long It's the whole movie It's the whole film I mean it is the entire arc of this story but yes they have zero chemistry also Owen Wilson's looking sort of starting to look kind of strange to me like he's

he's not he's looking a little busted J-Lo looks great of course because she's a wits of course

but but like see that i'd watch that movie a witch marries owen wilson but then has to stay married to him to prove she's not a witch no um owen wilson seems to be doing that thing where i mean i think owen wilson is an appealing is an appealing looking person but he looks like he's starting to get some kind of work done or they're using a i don't know an elizabeth taylor kind of white diamonds filter on him there's something going on that's a little uncanny now he looked

a little puppety maybe is that it i don't know what it is but i agree he's looking a little a little busted and you were recasting i'm not a deal breaker by the way like you know i think it's it's fine it's not about how he looks it's just their total lack of chemistry you were saying

that luke wilson would actually be better right yeah or um you said volleyball at this point like

Any Wilson would be better.

Carney Wilson. Russell Wilson. Any Wilson will do.

Russell Wilson, exactly. I would watch the Russell Wilson version of this movie.

Oh, yeah, he's not wooden at all.

No, he's got real chops. Have you seen him in those Alaska commercials? He almost was looking at the camera.

The football, what's he, head of football or something? Head of football operations. What's his title in Alaska? Chief football officer, I believe, is what he is. can i just can i mention and this is way to the side of the interesting things that genevieve is bringing up but it's a real we're really living in a golden age for the guy who played samuel tarley in game of thrones because not only is he in this film but he's also in whatever moonfall is which they will not stop forcing me to watch like ads for it on like you know twitter uh which is moonfall is some movie about something going on on the moon from the people that brought you independence day and it appears to star samuel tarley really moonfall first of all sounds like

a 007 movie does it not absolutely yes um and yeah i recognized him i was very proud of myself while we were watching the the trailer genevieve you couldn't place samuel tarley yeah but you i

was like i know him but i couldn't i couldn't place what what i knew him from and you got it

right away yeah exactly i had to get that in there but yeah i know well it's good to see him

getting work i guess i don't begrudge any of these tertiary people by the way getting a paycheck

that makes me happy no absolutely and yeah it's one of those things where i think i like everyone associated with this project including uh but not limited to sarah silverman but it also just feels like the other thing is it in watching the trailer i was forced to watch three

product placements for Stella Artois. Like, I don't know why, but there's like prominently placed beer cans in the trailer, which I wonder if they pay extra for that. Like, I wonder if, because they're obviously paying to be in the film, but I wonder if you can pay to be guaranteed to be in the trailer, because it just felt kind of, it felt gratuitous and weird to me that I was getting that much of a product shot during the trailer.

I love the idea that the people who came up with this, that was actually in the elevator pitch. Like, that's how much, like this character, Owen Wilson's character, who loves Stella artois like that's the kind of character this is just picture him with estella at all times there's

a 30 rock where jenna makes a horror movie but it gets it's so terrible that the only way they can get it made is they have to like keep selling sort of sponsorship opportunities so it ends up being like she's in a horror like a torture dungeon somewhere but written on the wall like in the

dungeon is like visit new jersey.com or something what was the thing where she is making a film to get back at Lemon, but she's shooting it in Iceland and it's a vampire film. There's no

darkness. It's the land of the midnight sun. There's like two minutes of darkness every day.

I'm going to shoot the film two minutes a day for like eight months.

Yes.

Thanks, Veeves. Thanks for picking up. Thank you, Veeves. Appreciate you.

Anyway, two thumbs down.

Bye.

Oh my gosh. Every time we have Genevieve on, I know. I feel more and more like she should just be the host of the show.

What are we doing? I don't know, Andrew. Luke, I still don't know where your tattoo is. Do you want to tell me after the break?

Yeah, let's take a break, and then we'll come back. We'll talk tattoos, and also I'll play you some of this tape that I'm excited about. Coming up here on TBTL. Sorry Veeves isn't the host.

Thank you, baby.

Sort of fundraising arena for us People have gotten emails I believe from John And here he is Donating his own APM earned money back to the show That's humbling

Talk about putting your money where your mouth is John is our main partner in like All of our fundraising efforts now Like you said all of the TB Telethon stuff And like yeah a lot of people are getting to know John because he's been sending out emails On our behalf and he's been in the You know in the Slack channel and everything

He had a bunch of great ideas for the riff track movie that's right john is a very involved colleague and a 10 and and a 10 and

he's really i mean maybe he just really wants to set an example like follow my lead like even i do it i'm in these coal mines of fundraising john's can tolerate tbtl that's awesome thank you john

hey thanks man we really appreciate you and then another tbtl celebrity next on the list Mary Holden in Phoenix, Arizona, also known as Mary the One-Time TBTL Virgin.

Exactly right. Now, Mary, I think, was... I think Mary might have even started donating before she ever heard the show while she was just a fan of the newsletter. And now I believe she is a sometime listener now. So, you know, we're moving in the right direction.

mary sent me a book that she edited about this incredible um bet that these guys made on a horse that was so huge that they the basically the casino or the racetrack tried to invalidate it and it led to this whole wild story because mary edits books and she sent me this book and it's

actually really good i remember when she was telling my alley too she has me she has me pegged

for a person who likes the games of chance. But anyway, Mary, thank you. Appreciate you. Laura Whittemore is in Tigard, Oregon. I know where that is now because I live here, Andrew.

I mean, in Oregon, not in Tigard. Do you think that Laura refers to herself as the Tigard King? That's my new thing, by the way. When I say a joke, I'm going to go, I love it.

What do you think of that? I think it's great. I also think that was a really good joke. Andrew, I'm dealing with some stuff today, okay? The reason you heard me, I've been stammering around on the names of a lot of these donors, and the reason is because I'm standing too far away from my computer screen, and I can't see the names clearly, Andrew. Oh, you squint. I need to go.

to the eye doctor

and get some readers. So when you say you're standing two feet away for a second, I'm like, oh, you're tangled up in cables or something. You can't get close enough. No, you're trying to move away. You're doing the thing that Genevieve calls tromboning, or maybe you call it tromboning. I call it that. I got it from

Bing Crosby. I don't play a little trombone here.

So anyway, I don't know if it's a problem that I confuse you and Genevieve, but I see you're massively tromboning right now by trying to walk across the room

Please never say massively tromboning on the show again.

Hey, it's a compliment in some cultures.

No, I'm standing. See, the other thing is, you know, it has to do with the microphone and where it's. I'm trying to talk into the microphone, obviously. And it's all coming together to where these names of these donors of the day are just in the range that I'm now having trouble seeing. And again, it's not things that are far away. I still have a very good vision for things that are that are super duper far away. but things that are closer to my face I have to I have to kind of like uh be at a very specific I don't know distance from them to read them and so that is why Laura I apologize that I was having some trouble with your name but just know I'm dealing with a personal crisis called deteriorating eyesight it's called middle age well that's the thing you know and I'm who am I talking to I mean the guy who's been wearing glasses since he was very young right yeah two two years old I mean And a lot of our listeners, I mean, everybody knows about this, except me, Andrew. And now it's a big deal because it's happening to me. It's like everyone else on planet Earth just about probably has some kind of prescription or, you know, readers or contacts or LASIK or what have you. But now it's affecting me. And so that's why it's a story on TBTL.

Do you know that before I wore glasses, I had to wear a little eye patch as like a little baby and a little kid?

No.

Yeah, because I had like a lazy eye. Are there photos of this? I called it an unmotivated eye. I think the word lazy is ugly. It's very, I mean, it's pejorative.

Yeah. How about an eye that hasn't had the same opportunity as you did?

Exactly. But I think it wasn't a cool, like, pirate eye patch. I think it was probably like a big Band-Aid that was stuck. You know what I mean? Like something that was probably, like, medical colored or, I guess, white person flesh tone colored or whatever, which I don't like. I hate the color of Band-Aids. um but uh anyway yeah so i don't know maybe that's why my parents named do you know that my middle name is blue beard by the way i think it's gonna say that i came out wearing an eye patch did you do your signature post joke celebration i already forgot what it is

is that it i already forgot it it really was by the way when i did that the first time that was a real it came from a place of truth like i don't know

i couldn't even recreate it out of the moment uh thank you to anna anafi of seattle washington okay i have okay i want to make sure that a proper distance from the name so i can read them again

just want to update everyone so anna is often in the slack channel mixing it up with other tens well that sounds like she's starting fights she's not just chopping it up chopping it up yeah now Now, am I allowed to – Anna, I believe, has solved the puzzle, Luke, of Weekend Edition Sunday as you set it out earlier this week.

I wish you would have told me off air so that I could tell Becca that I solved it on my own. But now this is part of the public record. I'll never be able to get away with that lie. But I want to know the answer.

Can you reset – so she posted this publicly. I'm giving everybody a spoiler alert here. But the question again, Luke, do you want to reset it up or do you want to hear me fumble my way through it?

I will try to reset it. The question this week is three words that are nicknames. They're all five letters and they go consecutively in the alphabet. So like ABC, like Buddy, Cuddy, which is not a nickname, and Duddy, which is also not a nickname. Right. But something like that. Right. And what I was struggling with was, well, I was struggling with getting the answer, but I wasn't sure if it meant a nickname like like I might call you Andy or we call our friend Andy Hurst. We call him Durs. Right. Like that kind of nickname or a nickname like you might say for your your loved one, like honey or something. So. Right. Right. I was I was very confused around the whole thing. And and so, yeah, I don't know the answer. You ready for this? OK, hold on. jenny kenny and lenny jkl bada boom jenny kenny and lenny it was right there i was in that part of the alphabet there i i had lenny by the way i feel like that's a good part of the alphabet by the way i don't know if we're supposed to like put value judgments on different parts of the alphabet if it makes some letters feel worse than others but i feel like because i've been you know i've been deep in my wordle game do you know that genevieve has now um made and printed out like um on the computer she made like wordle cards that she prints out like four per page then she cuts them up so we have these pocket size like wordles that we can carry designing the words yeah and then well if you just have a bunch of blank ones you don't need to assign a word to it so she's just carrying these around and then she'll just put it in front of me and say i have a word in mind go to it my dude we were kind of playing this just with pen and paper at the bar the other night and then she said i'm going to make some official slips so she makes the grid and then she just types the alphabet underneath and then she like yesterday i was cleaning up after dinner and she just walked in the kitchen and no i was still in the middle of making dinner and she just put it down on the counter and said all right i got a word go to it i'm like i don't have time for this but then i couldn't resist the the allure of the wordle um The word was freak, by the way, and I did not get it. First one I ever did not get. But, yeah, so we've been – I don't know. I've been thinking about the alphabet a lot lately, and I just think that those are some – like, that is a key part of it. The J, K, Ls, and then Ns and Ns are really good. I love LMNOP because it's fun to say.

Yeah, exactly. It is fun to say. I wrote on Twitter the other day that if they did an episode of Succession where the characters played Wordle, public radio Twitter would collapse under the window. Because I feel like the only things that I see right now on Twitter are people talking about Succession or Wordle That is true And that's because I hang out in a very kind of public radio friendly space

I feel like the Succession has definitely ebbed though, right? Because I'm finally catching up with it and I feel like I missed all of the conversation

Yes, a lot of it was happening around that profile in the New Yorker of jeremy strong the actor but what's giving it a little bit of new life is brian cox who plays the the dad he is he wrote a memoir and he has been making the rounds and he is a delight in the interview space i heard him on fresh air i mean first of all he's scottish so that's just i would listen to someone with a scottish accent you know read the phone book like i just find it totally mellifluous but then he's also just really interesting he's acted with everyone And like going back into the day of like John Gielgud and these like sort of very famous British actors. He also gives, as they say, zero F's like Terry's asking him about like Jeremy Strong's process. And instead of kind of doing the thing where he's like trying to be super diplomatic. I mean, he's not insulting of Jeremy Strong for folks that missed that one. And it was that one of the actors on Succession is very method-y and, you know, kind of doesn't talk to the other actors a lot and kind of stays in character all the time. But he was just talking about it. He was like, yeah, he was like, it's not my process. I'm fine with it, but I don't let it distract him. He's also, you've got to remember, too, if it starts to mess with the other cast, this is a non-simple thing. You can't mess with the cast. Like, he's just, he's not, like, being overly diplomatic about it. He's very entertaining to listen to.

During the interview, does he ever just say, do-do-do-do-do? Because that's what I mostly know Brian Cox for now Wait What's that? The McDonald's commercials He's the voice? Yeah, remember, or not remember I think they're airing now still But they've been airing for a couple of years It's like the food porn McDonald's commercials That's him, I didn't realize that Yeah, that deep voice

Oh my goodness See, this is why you co-host an advertising podcast, Andrew because you know important things like that. No, I've been interested in those commercials. I think they're very effective. And I think they're, you know, for something like McDonald's, I think they're pretty clever. But I didn't realize that was Brian Cox.

Yeah, I got that music going, but I want to play them. The many sesame seeds there are on top of the hot and deliciously juicy Quarter Pounder. Or you could just eat them. The hottest, juiciest Quarter Pounder yet. It's perfect. Made perfecter. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. That's it.

And see, I didn't I heard those commercials before I ever saw Succession. So I think Vives and I were talking about them. I had no idea who that was either. And somebody wrote in like, you guys are this is a huge blind spot for you. Like, that's Brian Cox from Succession. I was like, oh, I just thought it was a voice actor.

One of the things he told Terry Gross was that he was told originally that his character on Succession was from somewhere in Canada. And so he was doing that accent the whole time Or what, you know, his version of that And he's really Scottish in real life And then they told him, like, nine episodes in or something That actually he's from Scotland

And he was like, what? Well, I didn't know he was Scottish until you said that Which makes me wonder So he's doing an American accent for these McDonald's commercials

I think that might be how he talks now

Because, I mean, I know I said he's Scottish and I would listen to him read the phone book. But as I'm actually thinking, I mean, he has a very amazing voice, obviously. But as I'm thinking back on it, he doesn't have like an overwhelmingly Scottish accent anymore. So he's, I think, I don't know if it's just from playing Americans in a lot of roles or just doing all kinds of different accents. But he's sort of, his accent seems to have landed kind of in the middle somewhere.

You know who I saw? I actually literally had to look up her name. The joke is that I can never remember Nicole Kidman's name. And it's become like when I can't remember somebody's name, I just say Nicole Kidman. And just now I had to look up Eyes Wide Shut Actor because I was – I'm not even joking. It's the hardest way to get it. I'm being honest. It's so weird. It's just like I don't know why. It was just like first thing that popped in my head. Anyway, again, in this Michigan –

You didn't go with Keith Urban White.

I don't think I had that dazzling detail at my fingertips. But this is – so, again, when we were at the movie theater – I don't think we have to call Genevieve for this one, although we could. I'll text her. Amongst the trailers or in, like, the thing that would have been called The 20 back in the day, there was also a little, like, I don't know, 60-second spot where Nicole Kidman was, I don't know, doing some sort of soft pitch on something. It wasn't a product. It was just about, like, the movie-going experience. Right.

Right. I have seen that one.

Why is she talking in an American accent, though? We know that that's not what she talks like. Did they tell her, you're doing a version of Nicole Kidman who doesn't have an Australian accent?

Huh. They must have, right? I mean, it's not possible that she has lost her accent over the many years of living in the States and doing lots and lots of American characters.

I mean, it's possible. And again, I don't, you know, and if that's the case, or maybe she just like she's done an American accent for so long in movies that it's not like it doesn't seem strange or foreign or fake to not to not use the American accent. She just has maybe different voices. But like, I don't know, there was something about it because she was like presenting as, hi, I'm Nicole Kidman and I'm talking directly to you, Andrew Walsh. Thank you for coming to the movies. Isn't it great? Please come again. It's a dying industry and we are desperate.

I'm Nicole Kidman asking you Andrew to return your movie quality projector that you can just watch in your own home at this point

right exactly you do not get stubs points for using a projector at home I'm on the stubs program the AMC stubs program I don't know if you I know you're a wizard but I'm kind of a I'm kind of a big deal down at the stub stub factory kind of a big stub at the cracker factory is that a show title a big stub at the cracker factory Anyway, we have more donors to thank, I think. Yeah, we do.

Was Anna Anafi the person who actually solved the puzzle? Yes. Anna, that is impressive. I want you to know that Becca thinks you're smart. I just texted Becca, Jenny, Kenny, Lenny. Yeah. And then she was just like, oh, you're so smart. And then I wanted to just leave it there. But I said, no, it was a listener in the TBTL Slack. And then she said, well, they're smart. Uh-huh.

And now does she want Anna's phone number? because I have it here.

Yeah, could you just DM that to me? Also, Joshua Johnson is in Seattle, Washington. That's where Anna is.

Thank you, Joshua.

And Joshua is supporting the show. Thank you, Joshua.

Although, I don't know, leaving WAMU to go to MSNBC, I understand. I understand that it was an appealing offer, but...

Yeah, don't, I mean, listen, hate the game, not the player. Yeah, it's true. Like, I really... Well, you know, the thing is, though, is I think that show, which used to be the Diane Rehm show a long time ago, Then it became 1A. They have Jennifer White hosting, and I think she's great as well. There's a vibe with 1A that I'm into, and I think Joshua was a great host of that show. But I think they've replaced him admirably with Jen White. So I'll allow it. Other Joshua Johnson of Seattle, Washington.

There is a chance this is a different Joshua Johnson, but who knows? That's probably the same person.

Margaret Spanny is in Ashland, Oregon, home. this is going to be annoying Margaret I'm sorry but home of the Shakespeare Festival that's what Ashland Oregon is very well known for it's Shakespeare Festival I apologize because it's probably like if you live in Ashland like we get it we have the Shakespeare Festival everyone calm down

I'm surprised okay I'm just thinking that there's also an Ashland Ohio I think and it feels like somebody should do a what you and I refer to as an AJ Jacobs style book where they live in, they spend their entire life living in cities that have the same name, but in different parts of the country or world. So Paris, Texas, Paris, France? Yeah, but if you could like, I mean you could do Springfield, because then you have the Simpsons tie-in as well. I mean, you'd take up your whole project. There's probably got to be 50 Springfields. Exactly, so something along those lines.

Get on it, Margaret. Is that a show title? Get on it, Margaret. Hey, thank you to all of our donors of the day for making TBTL possible. We would not be here without you. So thanks. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right, now I can move back into a comfortable position with my computer since I'm not reading names anymore. I don't know if this tape is going to pay off, Andrew But I just wanted to play it for you I don't know why this popped up on the internet It's a very old tape I think I saw it on Twitter But you remember when Dick Clark would interview kids sometimes And one of those kids say the darndest things type of shows

I don't remember that, actually

Yeah, I can't tell you the exact era this is from It looks like it might be from the early 80s or something But Dick Clark is interviewing – again, I don't know if this is going to really work as tape, as audio only, but the visual is pretty funny. He's interviewing this, I don't know, kindergartner, and the kid's holding a photo of himself, of himself. And I don't know why Dick Clark asked the kid this question, but he basically asked him, what do you think you're going to look like in a thousand years? So take a listen to this.

What do you think you'll look like a thousand years from now?

Gray bones in a grave.

did you follow that a bunch of bones in a grave gray bones in a grave

the kids were talking so what do you think you look like a thousand years from now

gray bones in a grave like what like what did he what did he think i know getting what was that

question right yeah but also how does this kid have such a grasp on mortality i still don't have that grasp on mortality right right exactly yeah like that's that's where my mind went after laughing my ass off for about 20 minutes at this kid what do you think you'll look like a thousand years from now gray bones in a grave it's like this kid is very okay with death yeah although he doesn't sound happy about it he's got this smirk on his face though i wonder whatever became of this kid like that's really that's the um that's the reporting that we need is to figure out what happened because this kid is obviously pretty bright and he has kind of a smirk because he sort of senses he's not giving dick clark the answer he's looking i mean who knows what the what's the right answer i don't know i'm gonna have tentacles i know i'll have evolved like the ability to breathe underwater like who can really answer that question what will you look

like in a thousand years and again i mean i know that i'm just a broken record on this but like yeah i just don't know what the hell he expected there that's just such like you can get kids to say the darndest things without asking the darndest things this is like dick clark's

ask the darndest things adults ask the darndest things yeah i mean in dick i guess in dick clark's defense it's probably one of those things where you're just throwing so much stuff against the wall to see if it sticks or prompts a response but the fact that they included this one that this one made it into television is kind of funny too because my sense is that like this was being presented as the kid giving a silly answer but the kid is giving an extremely um realistic answer he's really the kid is as you point out Andrew the kid is not saying the darndest of things here

the kid is saying the accuratest of things right have you seen there's um there's this I think it's one person who's going around and these things have been very viral. They're almost like TikTok videos. I don't know if they're on TikTok or just Instagram stories, but it's a guy. It's kind of a I don't know. It's a it's a guy in his 20s or 30s with a pretty good looking kind of public radio style man on the street interview microphone set up. And he goes and he's just like talking to kids. And it's basically kids say the darndest things only. It's like outside. They're usually sitting on a park bench of you. And it's kind of got that modern editing style with the chop,

chop chop do you know what i'm talking about i may have seen it on tiktok but there's a lot of those things going so i'm not sure if i've seen that specific one it's driving me bananas here

because i want to play it for you um because every i don't know why everybody sent me this particular one um but this kid talking about um uh are they first of all i said did i say gila

monster before or gila monster or did i not even say that word oh you just think that word maybe i

just thought that word because i'm googling and talking at the same time which makes terrible radio but um it's like you know it's a kid talking about how i think it's gila monsters can first of all is it gila or gila i think it i feel like i want to say gila monster uh-huh yeah that seems better anyway it's just like really cute kids saying the darndest things uh sometimes about animals and i'm gonna see if i can find this for later in the show but

But I'm not finding it here on the fly, which is a real problem for where I've led us. My apologies.

Gila Monster.

Oh, nice. You did say Gila Monster correctly, though. There's a whole world on particularly on TikTok of people interviewing other people. And it's kind of funny to me, the aesthetic, I guess you could say, around microphones. So for a while, the big thing was to take your like corded Apple headphones, which will have, you know, they had that little bump built into them that was the microphone and you would like record your video and you would be holding the bump up to your mouth and talking into it and then people would even go out on the street and interview people holding the bump in their headphone cable as the way of talking or having a tiny microphone i mean our friend kiki lolo i think has a tiny microphone that she uses sometimes yep um and it's always like a lot of times it's really kind of blown out it'll be like young kids there's just one uh woman i would say she's probably in her early 20s she looks like she might be in college but she goes around with this tiny mic and she just asks everyone what their body count is or how much money they have in their bank account and it's it's just great journalism honestly like it's so entertaining i okay so

first of all i'm such an idiot i confuse monsters and dragons all the time the reason i wasn't getting a monster is because he's talking about uh is it uh kimono dragons i believe yeah so i get confused it's himono dragons uh now what i found here oh i hate this already i found like a five minute version of this that says part two on youtube as opposed to whatever like one minute thing i saw on instagram was but let's just try this like himono dragons they can eat

people which is so special i never ever saw an animal eat a people before do you want to see an animal eat a people actually definitely yeah why because it's like i never seen an animal eat

a person but you want to yeah what do you think it would be like weird basically basically basically welcome to recess therapy we're back with yeah this is a longer version of it the other edit It is better. Anyway, there's the kid.

Have you seen the kid Carter Chorazolo, who is Canadian and tired of shoveling snow? That kid's got real Ralphie from Christmas Story vibes or something.

I don't know if you have it in front of me. It's very visual, that one. If you didn't have a machine to help you move the snow, you probably found it a bit tiring.

a snow day turned into a work day for carter sorry this audio is so horrible this is what happens when i'm just playing something from twitter where someone was just pointing their

phone at the television but um do you want to play more of it though or is that basically yes

but i found there's a little bit more but you're right it's his sighing and his kind of his just obvious physical exhaustion or pretend exhaustion is really what sells it at one point he says

I wish I was in school today Then he sighs dramatically And it makes me think that Somebody in his life Probably one of his parents Probably has that demeanor Is always like sighing And is always like Feels like they're Under the weight of the world Which they very well might be And he's Because he's like There's something like Kind of like He's adopting an adult Exhaustion sort of Right It seems that way

Definitely somebody Modeled that behavior Yes For him Exactly Which is Because you don't just like You don't have – it's just not in you at age nine unless you've seen adults doing it and you're just trying to kind of like mimic that a little bit. The other audio tape that I am loving today is this TV reporter in West Virginia who was hit by a car during her report and just sort of didn't miss a beat, just kept doing her report or at least attempting to get back to her report. I guess what was happening was there was some weather, you know, one of local news's favorite topics. There was some kind of a freeze going on in West Virginia, and so there was problems in this young person, young person in her mid-20s, I think. Let me see if I can find her name really quick, too.

I was laughing when you said hit by a car, Not because that's a funny sentence, but because I'm just that that tape that you played at the beginning of the show. I still have it. I don't know the context here, and I haven't heard all of the tape, but that tape you played at the beginning of her name, by the way, is Tori Yorgi.

Oh, and she was reporting for a station in Dunbar, West Virginia. She was covering a water main break after there had been a snowstorm, apparently, in the area. Take a listen to.

this and now we're starting to experience unfortunately by the way this is of course

the person in the studio so you've got the guy in the studio talking to the reporter who's out

there in the field tory freeze thaw we see this water main breaks

i feel like tim could have been more sympathetic then that's a first for you on tv tory like does

this happen is he's just like you know you'll get used to it i mean poor tim tim looks stunned and look i don't know what i would say in the moment the listeners of this show know that i am pretty bad at improv myself so i don't know if i would have had a better response but i don't know if tim's response had as much empathy in it as it could have yeah i mean i don't know if this is

an improv moment i feel like you would have been more real in the moment certainly oh my god oh my gosh are you okay right he he's what i what it seems is that he is more kind of worried about

how the segment's gonna go than his co-workers right been hit by a car now i'll mention the car wasn't moving super fast obviously the car was in the i don't know if it was on a road or a parking lot but it was kind of you know it was it was idling but it did definitely knock her and her camera over because here's the other thing andrew and we can get on our media with this if you're a local news reporter now on TV, there's a very good likelihood that you don't have a camera person anymore. You are your own camera person. So poor Tori, not only has she been hit by a car, she's trying to still report on the water main, and she's got to set her camera back up because that's been knocked over.

I'm okay. Yeah, you know, that's live TV for you. It's all good. I actually got hit by a car in college too, just like that.

Wow.

I am so glad I'm okay. You're okay. See, she's great. You're okay.

She's amazing. she's like comforting the person who hit her by the way that person is out of their car and you don't see them on camera but they're apologizing profusely off camera somewhere and she is now somebody wrote by the way on twitter this is what being a millennial i think and uh working is uh you get hit by a car and you apologize to the person who hit you with the car exactly while you're doing the job of several people right getting paid less than the people who were doing

it 20 years ago yeah we're all good this is uh you know what it's uh we're good tim ma'am you are so sweet and you are okay it is all good you know i oh lord so you you know it's my last week on the job and i think this would happen so you were you bumped down low tory or were you hit up high i couldn't really tell from looking i i i don't even do you know if i was bumped down low or up high sir i don't even know i don't even know tim i know this is tim tim is tim is trying

to were you hit down low or up high yeah exactly like people say uh were you empathetic and i say No, but I sat near someone who was, and I studied them.

Exactly. Check. Is Tim an alien? Tim might be an alien.

Tim looks like at any moment he's one of those aliens from The Simpsons. He's going to break out of his Tim suit and just be like those, whatever those things are called. This, by the way, just world-class Delco accent. Delaware County. Oh, yeah. He's going to go down to Wawa. We're okay. We're okay, Tim. we're okay like this this reporter is just bringing the mayor of east town the very strong delaware county accent which you love to hear my whole life just flashed before my eyes but this is live tv and everything's okay oh that can happen thanks tim yeah tim oh my god my whole life just flashed before my eyes oh that can happen i thought i was in a safe spot but clearly

um we might need to move the camera over a bit so let me do that yeah now just to say

Once again, Tori's in an area right now where there's been a water main break, so there are emergency vehicles around there. And a lot of times what we have seen in those kind of situations are when emergency vehicles are around, there's a lot of confusion from people about drivers, about where to go. So it's possible that's what happened there.

People get distracted a little bit.

Yeah. Tori, you didn't even see the car somewhere.

Oh, God, that woman.

Anyway, that's where the tape cuts off. Oh, man, I want to know what she says about the woman. She sounds like she's about to be even more empathetic towards the person who's hit her.

I think we're going to hear, I think Tori Yorgi is the next Maria Menounos. I think we are going to hear big things from Tori, including the fact that she's, as you heard her say at the beginning of the tape, it's my last week here because she's moving on to a station in Pittsburgh. So our listeners, our yinzers up there can look forward to seeing Tori Yorgi on the TV there in Pittsburgh. And now she will also be on Ellen tomorrow.

Yes, she absolutely will be on Ellen. I don't know.

Now, would you watch her? She seems so winning. Would you break your – would you settle – would you squash your longstanding beef with James Corden? No, I have no desire. If he was in the carpool karaoke with Tori Yorkie.

No, I wouldn't watch that. I don't – I mean, I know that Ellen – why would I – why? Now I'm pulling a Luke. But, you know, I know Ellen doesn't have the best reputation these days, And I honestly don't know all of the details of the allegations against her as far as, like, kind of mistreating staff, which is what I think mostly what people hold against her and her being, you know, chummy with George H.W. Bush, I guess. But generally speaking, I don't have – like, it's so rare that I see Ellen. But, like, if I'm at the gym and it's on or something, I'm like, I don't really have an issue with Ellen. Like, I think that she's a great entertainer. Like, I mean, she's just really – I mean, yeah. Hey, everybody, breaking news. Andrew says Ellen is good at hosting talk shows. But, I mean, clearly there are also really, you know, long-running shows that I hate. But, like, no. She's got a vibe that I can certainly get down with.

Well, because it's not as relentlessly upbeat as, say, a Jimmy Fallon or a James Corden. Yeah, yeah. It's more, in its own way, it's a little bit more subdued. Like Ellen's thing is always kind of being Lower energy than you would expect Like something very big is happening Or someone who's been hit by a car while doing a TV report comes on and her Response is I mean her kind of comedy Is sort of understatement exactly

And she'll let things Sit in a way that you and I won't as I cut you off like you know what I Mean she lets things breathe a little bit Her timing is good I would definitely Watch this reporter sit Down with Ellen as long as they're not doing

carpool karaoke with i love this is so philadelphia the philadelphia inquirer this is the headline a reporter was hit by a car on live tv and she kept reporting of course she's from philly

philadelphia inquirer i love the pride of like i think philly i've only been to philly a couple of times but i really fell for this city i loved it and i also love their pride in just being just tough, you know, like, just like, you don't mess with people from Philly.

I wanted, I put on Twitter, I rarely at people on Twitter or like, you know, sort of, I rarely at people who are more famous than me on Twitter and things, but I did at the writer and actor Christine Nangle on this, and I said, can we have Christine Nangle play this reporter in the biopic? Because, of course, Christine Nangle is the performer who brought us the person answering

the phone at four seasons total landscaping since 1992 we are not the hotel event and then we don't not do events while we do events we do turf mowing edging at beds and seasonal collar well one time there's a cremation center directly across the street and one time their pair went out we let them use our mulcher so i don't know if that counts as an event i'm just trying to match your energy whoa okay relax dude i don't know who you are but i do know your airport planning does not constitute my emergency literally a thing i've heard family members of mine in philly actually say no we don't have a podium why don't we have a podium we have a rototeller i know that's not the same thing i'm just trying to match your energy you don't have to cry stop crying oh my god oh my god stop crying oh my god stop crying okay fine fine fine i don't know who you are but yeah okay come on by we're next to the

adult bookstore next to the adult bookstore i i mean i can't tell you how many times a day i'm

just trying to match your energy goes through my head oh i love it so much um so that's the that's the tape that i uh that i brought to the show today i'm pretty proud of it i'm also pretty

proud of my john prine tattoo andrew oh goodness we got so off topic luke where did you get this

tattoo i ended up uh getting it on my right arm i guess you would sort of call it my bicep but it's a little it's it's kind of um it's it's hard to describe but if you're it's just basically on my right arm above my elbow below my shoulder kind of i don't know sort of in the middle but

on the inside like kind of if you were if you were walking towards me shirtless which calm down dude but if you're walking towards me shirtless this the face of john prine is like

facing me right it's not facing exactly yes um and it came down to the the guy who did the tattoo was just so knowledgeable his name is juan and he was like breaking down the muscles like well that he was like i can't even remember the terminology but he was like well this muscle is gonna do this when you move it this way so you want to make sure like he was almost more physiologist than tattoo artist and he was like you definitely don't want it in the crook of your elbow that's going to get weird like it's just

So he just, like, was an expert on basically, like, where you want to have on your body a certain kind of tattoo so that it'll look right and not get weird, et cetera. And then, yeah, he had the photo. It's amazing how technologically advanced they are now, too. So he gets a stencil of this picture of John Prine that's, you know, from the cover of the Bruised Orange record. and he uh sort of gets it the right size and then he he puts it on my arm so i can kind of see like a basically where it's going to be and i can decide is this where i want to have it on my arm so it's sort of like a stencil of it and then he's i liked where it was and he's working away on it and i was like are you just doing this from memory because i'm looking around i don't see any photo he's not referring to this photo that i had sent him and i'm if i'm being honest three percent of me was nervous because i was like i'm sure he probably remembers what it looks like but i was like so i was trying to be kind of cash and i was like do you um you don't even need a photo for this and he was like oh no no i have a photo and he had this huge ipad that i couldn't see because i was kind of in the position i was in that had the photo right there so he was referring to a digital version of the photo constantly so as to have it be like exactly a replica of the photo that i had sent him um and um and he did a really amazing job like i was so excited with how it turned out I will say it was definitely the most involved tattoo that I've gotten, and it was—I wish that John Prine would have had less hair, because the black hair, which he has a big mop of hair in this photo, that was the part I realized that was kind of ouchy.

And this is—it's like photorealistic, you said, right? It's not just like black and white, like high contrast. This has detail in it.

It has a lot of detail in it. It basically looks – let me see. I can probably send you a picture. Yeah, should we use this as the show pic? I mean, it comes down to if you want to cannibalize the Hay Dummies video because there's a reveal in the Hay Dummies video. Oh, I see. No, maybe we should – I don't know how you want to drive. I like the clicks. Hashtag content.

So if you guys are hearing this on Thursday, you still have about 24 hours to sign up for the TBTL newsletter. If you're not already signed up for it, go to tbtl.net. You should be able to figure out how to sign up there, And you can see Luke's tattoo I like the way you think Luke You're just a born marketer

Showman, promoter Hype man, hype beast But you know he did a really Incredible job And the thing I mentioned in the Hey Dummies video Is I was actually very Relieved that they have An extremely strict mask policy They have an extremely strict everything policy At this place, Atlas Tattoo You have to text them to even get access physically to the shop and then i had to fill out the most involved health form i've ever seen or done online uh before this could go through and then everybody was super masked up and they had all these signs like do not let your mask slip below your nose etc but i was appreciative of all that one because of the health uh you know implications and two because i was really gritting my teeth a lot it was definitely i was feeling it but no one could

tell yeah that's another reason you love the best you know this is facing outward more than i thought so it's not like facing straightforward this is not this is not parallel to your own face this is pointing out right or is this photo a little bit misleading i i guess i'm i'm i guess i'm confused at

at what the what exactly we're trying to describe here well you said like okay you have the side of

your arm like you have your shoulder like if basically if you and i were standing okay we're just going to do a lot of you and i's here okay before you were walking at me now you and i are both standing up against a wall i don't know why but our back is to the our back is literally to the wall maybe it's a tbtl fundraiser but you and i are standing um back against the wall we're waiting to get our um school photos taken uh and we accidentally bump arms your let's see what arm is this for you this is your right right arm so your uh right arm bumps my left arm this tattoo will touch my arm as opposed to i thought it was pointing straight ahead like it would be like

you know if you were on my bicep like exactly if i were to flex right where a normal person

would have a bump of muscle right exactly no but i don't this is more traditionally on the outside but maybe it's just maybe i'm just looking but this is but see here's the thing that complicates

this already incredibly complicated visual thing we're trying to explain. Yeah, which is not

important. I apologize. No, is

when you stand. This is what I didn't really realize. You think, if you're thinking about how you stand, Andrew, you would imagine that when you're standing, getting ready for that class picture, that your hands are how do I explain this? That you're, now, like just do this at home too, play along. Like if you're standing, like let's say that you're in the army and you're standing at attention.

and you have your hands placed against your like hips right or your the upper part of your leg like you're standing at attention because they're coming by for inspection right can you picture

what i'm talking about i'm trying to do it while sitting here i'm gonna stand up good thank you

so you so that's that position right i think when we when we imagine oh my god how dare you undermine my life decisions ambulance oh is that what's going on yes that's actually a fire truck So here's what I'm trying to explain. When we stand, our hands are not at our sides as if we're in military attention as much as we think. Our arms rotate forward. It's more like our hands are on our – what would that part of your quads? No, what's the front part? Yeah, your quads. Yeah, of your legs. It's more like your hands are flat against your quads when you're standing because of how – I mean everyone's probably – joints and shoulders are different. But let's just say for me, my, it's less like I'm an attention in a military thing and more like I'm, I'm, I'm doing like, you know, I'm padding my, my quads and trying to do a little ham bone or something. So in that, with that being the case, what it means is if I was just walking up to you shirtless, like I do a lot, Andrew, this thing would actually be kind of facing you because I don't know if pronate is the term, but it's like our arms pronate more than we realize is what I guess I'm trying.

I think I see. Now, this is weird, and I think this is just – this is probably just a quirk of me. I'm standing right now. I don't know if you can tell I'm a little bit off mic. But when I stand and if I just – if I try not to think about it and I just relax my arms, my right hand sticks a finger in my right ear and my left hand grabs my left butt cheek. It's so weird. It's just like that's my resting position.

And how do we end jokes on this show now? How do we tag our jokes? Hold on.

I'm actually trying. I don't remember Is it Bada Boom? Well first it's a weird grunt There we go I can't remember God it just was like two minutes ago I already forgot my catchphrase There's a right way to rock

And a wrong way to roll You can't just listen To your soul Just remember that life Is number one You can't be having Do you remember my catchphrase?

Like, how have I already forgotten my new catchphrase? What was it again?

It was kind of evolving over time. I think it was ending almost being Baba Boo-y, but like Baba Boo. I think it was like, Baba Boo.

Hey, don't steal my thing. I just can't believe my brain is that bad. Well, again, whatever happened, whatever came out of me the first time was very organic.

Well, be nice to my friend, Andrew. You were in a flow state. Exactly. You were just letting the creativity flow through you. And much like, you know, Jay-Z Knight channeling Ramtha or someone like that, it's sort of like after you do something that you're kind of a shell of a person. It's almost like, whoa. Like, you know, it's like to bring it back to Game of Thrones, it's like you warged out. And then when we come back to you, you're kind of, you know, you're just sort of, who, wait, who am I? Where was I?

What just happened? I was a vessel for a moment. What I got to do is I got to go back to the tape. I got to go back to the original tape. The thing is, I don't want it to be fake, you know, so maybe I should listen to it and decide whether or not it's something I want to recreate or maybe it was just A pretty short list of blurs days today So what do you think that means Is it that

People are sick of your sometimes low key Criticism of the segment has now seeped Into the brains of the listeners and they've stopped submitting birthdays Is it that nobody was born This week or fewer people were born this week Or is it that we have no listeners left

I think it's we have We actually have a lot of emails That's what I'm looking to see if I can Add some breadcrumbs Why don't we just make tomorrow A big email day Yeah, but the thing is that we have some short I just wanted to mention here really quickly That listener Let's see here, listener Diane here Is very excited about the fact that we talk so much About Jack and Diane And Diane says, I always wanted to find Somebody named Jack to marry But I married a Mark instead You think Mark would consider Going by Jack? I feel like he should Is that the least you could do? I feel like that's the least you could do Absolutely

Or just maybe even just Jark Split the difference

Little story about Jark and Diane Grey bones in a grave Maggie's

It says, I want to wish my most wonderful pod cart BFF, Linder, a happy, happy Blur's Day. Linder. I think the last time we saw Linder was in Austin. I can't remember if Linder made it to the boat show in Seattle. Anyway, Maggie says, she's not just my imaginary friend, but a true one. She was the first person I told some pretty hard stuff to this year, and she helped me through it. She's funny, thoughtful. She knows too many Eric's and is quick with a drop and with some love. I'm grateful to have her in my life. Get some of those Eric's to change their name to Jark. Don't be a jerk. And finally, like I said, short Blur's Day list. It's Lindsay in Walla Walla here, and I would like to wish a very happy Blur's Day to my partner, Eric.

Oh, are you kidding me? Eric did you not get the memo

Are you not listening to Veggie's Blur's days

What I mean that's honestly that's violence At this point just continue to go by Eric After everything we've talked about

I wonder if this Eric knows Linder Either way they should meet It's another birthday in a bizarro Pandemic time but I'm excited to celebrate And say thanks for being you This is from Lindsay And Luna Tuna the cutest dog ever Triller the creepy snake See, I don't know who these are. So I think it's Lindsay and Luna Tuna, the cutest dog ever, Triller, the creepy snake, and even that murdering fish, Luna Tuna 2.

We all love you. Murdering fish, Luna Tuna 2. I wonder what the story is. I wonder if that's like... I think I know. I'm not proud of this story because it speaks to my weird nature that I have. Happy Blur's Day to everyone, by the way. Which is like of wanting to... I'll just tell you the story. I was at a wedding once, and they had – the centerpieces were little fish bowls that had betta fish in them. And, you know, betta fish are – they're very colorful and have kind of frilly fins, and they're cool-looking fish. Now, they said at the end of the wedding, at the end of the reception, everyone can take home a betta fish. And because my brain is like – and then they had extras. And my brain is like, well, if I could have one fish, I'll have two fish. Red fish. Blue fish. blue also those color of fish would accept like instead of just taking the one beta fish that was being offered and been like that's great i was like well there's extras i'll take even more like this is almost like you know when you're at a wedding reception and there's like centerpiece flowers yep they're like you could take those my instinct is to want to take like multiple i mean if if there are more centerpieces than there are people who want them right i'm not going to take two centerpieces and when there's somebody who wants one and isn't getting one but if there's an excess of them it my instinct is to just kind of hoard which i really don't like about myself so i decide well there's extra betta fish let's get a couple so i dump these two betta fish into the same little decorative bowl and take them home and of course the next morning one has eaten the other because betta fish are very very violent which is weirdly not a quality i would attribute to beta beta yeah you think they'd be called alpha fish exactly or rogan oh man you have a

whole you have a whole stand you can get like three minutes out of that oh yeah why do they

call them beta fish um but like of course so like and one fish had eaten the other and because that's why they were that's why none of them were in the same little decorative bowl because they kill each other yeah in fact that's what people do with beta fishes they put them in little bowls next to each other and then they try to fight but they can't because they're in separate bowls maybe that's what luna the tuna too is i have a feeling yeah they said murderous fish i wonder if they made

the same mistake that i made yeah sometimes fish eat fish i think it's weird this like fish eating the same species of fish that's what kind of throws me for a loop right because you wonder

how did these how did these fish get this far in evolution doing this yeah it seems like it'd be

bad for the species right right right i mean unless there was like unless it was some sort of mating thing and you're competing for somebody's you know affection but like that's clearly not the case here i don't know but it's also i guess weird to put two fish in a bowl

together i guess the natural like it seems like the natural selection end game of all this would be one beta fish the size of cincinnati who's just like right eaten out eaten and out mated everyone and then his offspring out ate and out mated and then you just end up with a one enormous beta fish. Yes, right.

And I think that's how the end of Luna Tuna 2. The Suicide Squad ends I believe. You could be wrong about that. Did you ever see that? Did you see like the kind of second version of the Suicide Squad that came out? Didn't that get

pretty good reviews? You liked it, right?

It was. And again, like I didn't have really any expectations. going and maybe it helped that maybe i had slightly low expectations because i knew it was a dc product that's margot robbie is in that one yes and harley quinn she's harley quinn um and i was like okay that's gonna be kind of you know that character is very over the top i know that she's been um celebrated for that role but i'm like yeah it's probably not really for me the kind of harley quinn style humor is not it's not whatever like it doesn't matter i just thought it'll be fine i'll eat some popcorn i loved that movie like they did um like there's an action scene in there with her character that has got to be my favorite fight scene of all time because it's just like she's just fighting she's going through this like you know enemy stronghold let's call it she's fighting and then for absolutely no reason the director it that's gun right oh is that james gun i'm looking at james i was just talking to our buddy john sklaroff about this the other day i would have been oh donor of the day exactly i would have been embarrassed if i'd gotten that wrong but um they just decide to start having flowers like just animated flowers just sort of like blooming all over kind of in her wake as she's just like going through this enemy stronghold and just like wreaking violence on all of these men and it's just kind of like it and it's just like it's transfixing and poetic in the middle of what would be kind of an ultra violent scene and i don't know if i'm doing it much justice in describing it without you having seen it but it's just so well done it's just like a little touch of artiness in there and that's just one scene it's not like a theme throughout but it also fits and it doesn't seem random and it just really kind of speaks to I don't know whoever um they just gave him a leash I said I guess and just kind of said you know we trust your vision do it to it my dude that's how I imagine it went down now when

Harley Quinn is standing would you say her arms pronate or is it like she's doing a military thing

And she, total opposite of me, left hand in the ear. Oh. Oh, I'm back, baby.

Oh, yeah, you are. What song should we go out with today? Do you want to go out with a Cat Power song? Want to go out with the greatest? Oh, my goodness. I just, I was playing a little Pandora the other night, and this came on, and I was reminded of how much I love this song. I mean, it's, you know, it's a little wistful, but God, it's a good song. It is.

It isn't like the most upbeat way to end the show today.

It's not one of those normal, super upbeat Cat Power songs.

Right, exactly.

A little bit more introspective. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Let's go out with Cat Power. All right, thanks everyone for listening. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you, so please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall. Good luck to all.

And then came the rush of the flood The stars of mine turned deep to dust Melt me down, there's a bit like a moon There's no trace of grace just in your honor Lower me down Cut breaths out Make them wash Spacings out For the legs And the dreads of my bed I've been sleeping Lower me down In the end Secure the ground

This is how I use hey now, in a sentence, okay? You say, and of course, my sidekick Hank. And of course, my sidekick Hank. Hey now! Hank, that's a sentence. Power out.