Muse

You will be in room 237, and you have free Wi-Fi there. Also, from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. every morning, there's a free continental breakfast.

Oh. All the Europine countries lay before me. Where should I fly to first? Ah.

The pit of the donut. Mmm, thank you, turkey. Mmm, buckle up. Let's see where we shall go next. Ah, the Danish. Clearly from Brussels. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. Hello, Greece, where the yogurt flows like water.

Mmm, yes. Like yogurt, but to stay. And who are you? My little friend, not a spoon, not a fork, but something in between, a fa-poon. What will you think of next, Germany?

T-B-T-L.

Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?

It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. everybody's looking forward to the weekend brother who are you what are you doing

i'm with the news dude what comes before anything what have we always said is the

most important thing breakfast family family right yeah i thought you meant the things you eat they say you snooze you lose well we snossed and look what we lost

all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a friday edition of tbtl the show it just might be too beautiful to live it's your lucky day you just found a usb flash drive in the parking lot my name is luke burbank i'm your host i've got something to say coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center right here in portland oregon where we're looking at another absolutely beautiful day but boy is it cold got out there for a little uh morning jog and it's that kind of cold where you just have tears streaming down your face uh because uh because of the wind chill but man does it ever look beautiful from inside the broadcast center as we've arrived at episode 3608 in a collector series let the fun begin i don't know for the last three episodes of the show, I've been promising that we were going to talk about the kid in Boise with the library book. Kids and fantasy. Come hell or high water, we are going to talk about this. We are going to play the audio, even though Andrew thinks this story is kind of BS. This is why I can't have nice things. Also, we've got some public

Radio News. We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

Jad Abumrad is retiring from Radiolab. Wait, you're listening? And also, nobody at NPR can agree on how to say Kiev or Kiev, which is, of course, very much in the news because of what's going on in Ukraine. So we'll take a look at all of that. We'll make the call. We asked the questions around here, I think. Oh, also, it's Friday, a.k.a. Fri-yay, so we will do some music for your weekend. All of that with the help of this young man, the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known, for his depictions of the tall ships. It's Friday, but he is only thinking of one thing, and that is his plan for Monday's garbage pickup.

I ain't gonna lie. Missing Trash Day is one of the biggest L's as an adult.

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I have something I'd like to talk to you about at the top of the show here today. I've got something to say. But I feel like we need to agree to a certain social contract here or maybe a personal contract here. I want to steer the conversation gently into bathroom talk to a degree. but i want your promise that you're not going to take it too far that you're not letting you know let's put those let's put those bumpers in the gutters um you know as we're as we're bowling here because i want to raise something with you

that I think could be something that other people can relate to. When I saw myself pooping, I was just like, you've got to be kidding me.

Yeah, keep going.

Yeah, no, see, I'm already regretting this. I think this is something that people could relate to. Maybe not. I might be the weirdest guy in the world, but I just don't want things to get too gross.

Mr. Porn J, Ratbeard, Poopy Pool III.

I was going to ask you this before the show, and honestly, I had a whole thing. I was going to say, Luke, I need to talk to you about something That could be a TBTL topic, but I don't trust us to talk about it on TBTL, but there wasn't really time before the show. So I'm just bringing it to the top of the TBTL show sheet here, and this is it. Have you ever found yourself – this is my question. Have you ever found yourself going number two and then putting your phone browser on incognito mode and Googling your symptoms to see if anybody else has had similar bathroom experiences after eating a specific food? Me neither. Me neither, for the record.

That sounds like something a weirdo would do. I can say, with a pretty great degree of certitude, I haven't done that. Now, it isn't that I haven't had some weird experiences in there, and it isn't that I haven't maybe Googled, hey, what does this symptom mean? But not, like, in the same moment. And also, going incognito mode, you don't even want the phone to remember that you switched for it?

Well, one would. I have never done this either, obviously, but I know a guy who one of his favorite foods is pho, right? Big bowl of pho. But I mean consistently, consistently, my entire adult life, actually probably more so in the past, maybe five years or so. once there is about a 30 minute window from the end of the meal to me needing to be in a bathroom and so far i've always made it within that 30 minutes i don't want to think some goddamn diuretic

when i sit here my mouth just never stops so that's about as that's as graphic as i'm willing

to take it uh today it reliably it reliably sends you to the restroom immediately like i mean like no other food within a half hour i i am in emergency mode it doesn't stop me from eating it it's again one of my favorite foods but i um have found myself more than once sitting on the toilet in those situations just googling in incognito mode for a reason that i still don't have a full answer for especially since i'm talking about this on a podcast that has literally tons of listeners um but i'm just like am i the only one it's there certain moments can you can you verify there are moments where i did some 411 need a community i feel like there was another

time where i had eaten something is there a subreddit for this is there a group have you found a group of like butthold people who all have to go to the bathroom right after they eat they eat

pho well it's funny you should bring up reddit i was on uh i'm not going to go into detail let's to say i was on a chipotle reddit today uh or somebody my friend was um but the regarding the thing you'll find most of that conversation on quora that's interesting for some reason

it seems like a it seems like primed for a subreddit honestly just people swapping stories about about what certain foods you know we're actually i don't know if you're on it andrew But definitely there are like various friend text chains that I'm on with different configurations of kind of our friend group. And many of those text chains will at random points devolve into everyone just trading stories on stomach discomfort. And now, I mean, obviously, I've talked about that on this show fairly extensively. I'm not overly shy about it. but also i i'm happy to report that i don't know in the last four or five years things have stabilized and it is very rare that i find myself in like emergency mode in fact i'm this is the jinx of all jinxes right i'm knocking wood here but i kind of can't remember the last time that i was like probably the last time i remember having an emergency situation i was i think i was still an npr reporter is that possible i remember what i remember distinctly once i was driving outside of atlanta i was in a rental car i had just landed and i felt a stomach discomfort this must have been maybe after i almost did this on wait wait so we're going back five six seven

years oh way more than that that way i guess story happened before i was on tbtl with you

maybe i was maybe this was a tv shoot i don't remember And

Anyway, I remember a couple of, you know, in the last 10 years, I remember a couple of quite sort of vivid moments. But generally, I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel lucky that I have not had any emergency situations in a while. And those used to be a fairly regular part of my life. Like there were there was five, 10 years where like as an adult in my 20s and 30s, it would be not uncommon for me to just like be like all of a sudden in a situation. Again, I've told the story of being on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me and almost crapping my pants. This time in Atlanta, I got to the Hampton Inn, and I had to sit in the car for like 10 minutes. Because you couldn't move. Psyching myself up, in the words of George Brett, I'm fucked. I can't move. You know, like I had to psych myself up for how am I going to get from this rental car to the lobby of this Hampton Inn and then to my room without – I mean, that's where it was at. It was like any movement risked a complete disaster. Now, my theory on the pho is, do you put a lot of sriracha in it?

I put some in. I don't think it's a lot.

It's a big, salty, spicy, garlicky gallon of warm liquid. And my theory is you throw that down the hatch, and it probably just kind of runs right through you. And it's my I know you eat soup other times, maybe chicken noodle soup or chicken soup. But like, wouldn't you say that probably a big bowl of is the largest volume of warm, salty, garlicky, hot liquid that you might consume typically?

Yeah. I mean, well, there's other style. I'm trying to think now.

Like clam chowder.

Well, yeah, that's smaller things. But there are other like Asian style big bowls of soup that I eat. You know what I mean? Like when I'm going out for something like that, like sometimes I'll do ramen. And there's also like these good like – one of my favorite things is going to a restaurant and getting like – it's like wonton and egg noodle but kind of served in that pho kind of style. And there's some other things like that. So I do mix it up. And now I'm stalling here because I'm trying to think like do they all affect me in the same way. I mean I think I run the risk with all of them. But there is something about pho. And, you know, again, my friend who was on Quora the other day in incognito mode did come across some suggestions that, you know, there are a lot of spices and pho that are not in a lot of the other foods I eat that could have something to do with it. Not even like an abrasive spice, just like my body is, one's body is reacting to something. I've made homemade pho before, so I have a lot of those spices. I don't remember. That's a whole process, by the way. I don't know if I talked about it on TBTL, but Beavs got me a pho cookbook for Christmas two or three years, three or four years ago. And it was like a whole day of, like, going to find beef bones. And then you, like, you actually, like, braise the beef bones in the oven before you start turning them into stock. It's a whole thing that's really interesting, and I love it. I can't remember if the bone collector. I can't remember if the homemade stuff had the effect on me or not. But my guess is it's a combination of everything you're talking about. But here's the deal. When I'm in these situations, it doesn't even have to be a mystery. The pho thing is sort of a mystery to me, so I'm kind of interested. But there are some times where you, again, just need a community. Like you just need to read other people's experiences while you're going through something. You know what I mean? Like something really hot and spicy from Chipotle. There's not a big mystery there. But you just kind of, again, you just kind of need people. You need to surround yourself by people in those situations.

obviously oh i can't believe i'm gonna say what i'm about to say this is either the kind of thing that like this either humanizes me with the listeners or makes or or repulses them you were sitting on your golden toilet i guess we won't know until i say it but like one thing that does cause me to uh sometimes you know need to go to the bathroom but not in a way where it's it's not a thing where it's like i am i'm i'm running to the bathroom where it's it's it's a near disaster but just in a way that my body's like yeah we should go do that now so let's just call it like a six one to ten one being totally elective ten being you're parked in a nissan ultima outside of the hampton inn outside of atlanta like um maybe a six but it's if i drink a few glasses of wine red wine in particular kind of runs through me now the reason that i paused is because i'm so my relationship with food is so troubled that there are times where if i've been sort of eat eating kind of gluttonous in a gluttonous way and then i drink a bunch of wine and then it causes me to immediately go and evacuate my whole situation it's your purge it feels like a relief i'm like some part of me again i'm this is i'm what i'm describing is a disordered relationship with food and bowel movements and let's

There are alcohol on the list. That's a real triple threat. You are a triple threat. I knew it. You made it. What's the EGOT for being screwed up? Anyway, I have to say, it's so messed up. But some part of me, sometimes, it's like, because it's not like a normal, it's not like when you use the bathroom seven hours later and your body has sort of done its natural processes, let's just say, without getting more descriptive than that. Yeah, we got it. it's clear that this has just moved very quickly through my system. And some part of my brain is like, well, that undoes some of the damage I just did of whatever giant amount of food I just consumed because it's kind of running right through me, as it were. And that is, again, not the right way to look at things, but I'm being totally honest when I say sometimes that's the calculation my brain does.

Now, is that – now, okay, I think maybe the movement the wine is creating might be even more activated than feels healthy in the moment. But I think that, like, honestly, like having some sort of a – what do you even call it? Isn't there like a French-style word like digestif? That's not a word. But isn't there something that sounds like that? I'm still sounding out words. Do you mean diuretic? No, not a diuretic. That's different. That's something that makes you pee a lot, right? Sure. But the idea of, like, even in old-timey times, having a big meal and then, you know, probably even maybe the custom of having coffee after the meal, coffee can act, you know, as a – what's the word I'm looking for?

I think you're thinking aperitif, maybe? No, an aperitif comes before, doesn't it? Okay, the digestif. I think you're thinking of – that's the term. I always thought of that as being something that settles your stomach.

Maybe it settles it. maybe i'm totally wrong here but i always thought there were things that were like you know like coffee kind of gets the system moving cigarettes do you know i think there was a there was a custom you know going back years and years and years and years um of just like you know the the after dinner cigarette after a big meal or whatever like i think there's in culture there's just like this idea of yes after the meal you have something that maybe helps you digest food now it sounds like if you're running you know if you're having some wine and it's it's really disrupting the situation maybe that's but i just don't think that it's totally outside the norm to be thinking

about those things after a big meal right right i just can't imagine that in the and then i appreciate that you're trying to kind of like normalize not even normalize but just give some extra kind of context to this whole thing i can't imagine benjamin franklin downing a a dram of port after his, you know, pheasant, his decadent meal of pheasant and whatever they were eating back in those days, and then heading out to the outhouse and being like, that's great because those calories didn't even stick. This wine is like goddamn Alestra. I just don't know if he had that.

You know what? Not only can I picture that, I have actually created a picture of that, and it's now an NFT, as a matter of fact. So I'm a little bit ahead of you on that one. I don't know. I just think of old 1960s commercials of just like, you know, that people would advertise like the side benefits of cigarettes and coffee and things like that. And I just feel like there was part of the cultural conversation of after a big meal, Sally takes this or drinks this or eats this. You know, it seems sort of like not totally outside the norm. One thing I wanted to say to go back to a point you made before. I don't know if there's any connection here or not, but I just feel like there are probably a lot of listeners who are saying, huh Luke is saying that he hasn't had as a troubled relationship with his gutty works in about four or five years well you did make a diet you know you made a dietary change four or five years ago when you stopped eating meat now I know that you claim that like you feel like you're not necessarily eating healthier just because you went vegetarian that you'll still eat like some some kind of garbagey food that happens to not have meat in it but there's got to be some some connection there right you know worth considering I guess so I mean that's really

interesting um as it's interesting that it never occurred to me that it may this may have coincided with when i stopped eating meat on the regular again i'm always a little bit nervous about calling myself a vegetarian because i i don't i haven't strictly avoided meat over the last five six years but i mostly don't eat meat like maybe once or twice in a year because of some extenuating circumstance but anyway yeah the fact that i don't eat a lot of that stuff and my as you said my gutty works uh doesn't seem to be giving me as much trouble i don't know that's i've got to consider that as a possibility um which i guess would be kind of a uh in the plus column for not eating so much meat uh but like i said i'm also uh the world's least healthy vegetarian because i've i was in the store with becca the other day and we were talking i forget

We're talking about something and she was saying very gently and without judging us, she goes, you know, that's like a pretty that's a pretty tasty thing that you might want to just see about going in that direction and maybe having a little less cheese because I eat about two pounds of cheese a day. And it's like I I just consumed so many carbs and so much cheese every single day now. Oh, it was eggs. It was eggs. I was saying how I'm a little it's strange. So the way the whole conversation unfolded was, it was last Sunday, and we were taking a walk on the Springwater Corridor Trail here in Portland. And I was saying how I was very excited to go to my apartment and make a delicious sandwich and watch the football game. And I was like, I really want to make that sandwich from Spanglish that Adam Sandler's character is trying to make throughout the whole film. Are you familiar with this?

You've told me about this before. I have not seen the film. I'm waiting. No spoilers.

He's, I think he might be a chef. I think his character might be a chef. And he really wants, kind of like the sort of joke is, he keeps getting interrupted, but all he wants to do is like late at night, he wants to make this like really unbelievable sandwich, which I'm sure has like bacon and a bunch of meat on it that I wouldn't eat. But the thing that I always remember about it is that it's got a fried egg on top of like, you know, on top of all of the filling. I love a fried egg on a sandwich. You put the bread on it, and you do this cut, and I think the egg kind of, you know, sort of breaks, and I think he's got, like, a cold beer with it. Like, there's something about this sandwich that is—it seems to me like it's probably the most satisfying, like, bite, and then you chase it with, like, a sip of, you know, Heineken or whatever. And they do a good job in the film of setting it up as his happy place. So I was saying to Becca that, like, I would love to make a sandwich like that, except I love eggs, but I'm also—I've been weirded out by eggs. I eat a lot of things that have egg in them, but I've been kind of weirded out by eggs for the last five, six years. I still, if I'm at a diner, I would order, you know, fried eggs over, like, medium and some hash browns. Like, that's a thing I will still do. But, like, I've never had eggs in this apartment. I don't think I've ever had eggs in either of my apartments since I've lived in Portland, which is kind of weird. Because I don't bake, and then I don't really make breakfast. so I just it's just not something that I've had in the house for the longest time and Becca was reminding me that like an unfertilized egg is pretty like you know the hen is going to lay it but it's never going to become another chicken so as far as like animal products you can eat it's pretty you know it's pretty ungross in that way I'm not eating something that was about to become a chicken I'm eating something that had no chance of ever becoming a chicken and I was like yeah i know like i again i actually really love the taste of eggs and a fried egg on a sandwich or a burger just seems so appealing to me but there's just something about also if i consider where that egg was inside the body of a chicken like if i overthink it i have the same relationship with milk it must be with cheese that it's so decontextualized for me like cheese just seems like its own thing it's easy for me to forget that cheese used to be milk which used to be inside the body of a cow but like an egg you look at an egg and if you're me you're like yeah that's pretty chickeny like that's that's pretty there's a lot of context there so um she was saying again gently you might want to show you that might be a good way for you to get some protein and to maybe like supplement some of your cheese intake with your with some egg intake was what her advice a pivot to eggs you might say maybe just reduce a 20 reduction in cheese intake and a 20% increase in egg intake, that might not be the worst for old LB's arteries.

We're calling it a pivot. I'm with you, though. I mean, I love eggs. Eggs might be both one of my favorite foods and also one of the foods that is just the weirdest to me and could be potentially gross if I think about it too much. Like, it is a strange thing. And even just the consistency of eggs, like the fact that eggs are essentially glue is interesting to me, too. Like, you ever get, like, you know, you crack an egg, you make breakfast, maybe a drip falls on the counter. Not for me, obviously. I would never leave an egg drip on the counter, but let's say Genevieve might. Then you go to clean it up later, and it is just like a rock-solid thing. Or if you happen to drop it on a paper towel or something, and it becomes just adhesive. It's just glued to the counter. You're just like, what is an egg? You know what I mean? We can use egg for so many different things. And again, in a certain way, it's just fascinating how over time humans have learned that eggs, I mean, from from baking to just frying an egg to all the zillions of things in between, how we use egg is kind of fascinating. And also, like you say, really weird. It's like really weird. Yeah.

And then they make there's all kinds of synthetic.

egg products now i should try that and this is going to be this is the the most that i'll ever contradict myself actually let's not say that because there's always i can always be even more contradictory there's always new contradictory worlds for me to travel to on this show but this is pretty high on contradicting myself you know what i would like in a fake egg product more realistic egg yes i would like them to figure out how to put it in an eggshell which is the thing That makes me not like it if it's an egg egg. But if it's a fake egg, I would like the verisimilitude to be as high as possible so that I'm cracking it open. It's frying. I want it to be everything about the egg experience, but my brain is able to tell me that used to be, you know, grass or something.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy it because they come in those little cartons, right? I'm going to buy a little carton of the fake egg product, but then I'm going to pour it into those little plastic Easter eggs that we had growing up. I don't know if kids still play with those. Do you look for those on Easter Sunday? I'm not sure what kids do these days. But growing up, we had those plastic eggs that you would crack open right down the middle, right? Can I find a way to fill those up with egg substitute and then leave them in a basket at your door?

Million-dollar business. Now, did your parents – you'll be not even a little shocked to hear that we didn't do Easter eggs when I was a kid because that was considered – Easter was a big deal in our church, of course, because of, you know, like the Jesus story. But Easter eggs were considered Kind of an abomination Because that was kind of a side That's not like biblical per se That's some other kind of story Of I think ISIS maybe Some like Egyptian god Or myth or something Anyway But did your parents do the thing Where they put money in one of the plastic eggs

My memory of Easter Isn't that we had Sorry I'm reaching back here I'm trying to remember this I don't think we had traditional Easter egg hunts. I remember having one like real traditional Easter egg hunt at my bop cheese house, my great grandmother's house down in Wheeling, West Virginia. One year where it was me and my sister and a couple of other cousins. And we, you know, we're just let loose in the small fenced in backyard in Wheeling, just like searching for eggs. And it was kind of like a competition. I believe the tradition with me and my sister at home was my parents would put together one Easter basket for each of us. And it had a bunch of goodies in there, maybe some Easter treats along with maybe like some, you know, little toys or something. Not not Christmas gift level toys, but more Easter gift level toys, you know, just like little knickknacks and candies or whatever. And then they would hide the whole basket somewhere. And then me and my sister would individually have to go find our baskets. That's what we did. There was no money involved.

I remember when Addie was really little, going over to her, I guess, maternal grandparents' house on Easter. And I remember just being so fun. I mean, I was like 19 or something. Maybe I was 20 at this point. but like i had a suit on and addie was all dolled up in her little easter outfit and they did they hit easter eggs like those little plastic eggs you're talking about all around this kind of cul-de-sac that they lived in that was a bunch of different people that were all part of the same kind of like church thing and um i remember i found the egg with like 20 bucks in it oh like and i was very torn because like this for the children right yeah but i was also one of the children in a way i was about 19 years old i could really that 20 bucks could have really gotten me out of a couple of jams i think i remember like handing it back to her to addy's granddad on her mom's side and being like yeah you should probably put this one back you gotta re-hide that is what you gotta do but i was just like of course i find the one with the dough in it and again of course i needed the money more than i think i could strongly make the argument that i needed that money more than any of the children that were looking for easter eggs what are they gonna do with 20 bucks i'm putting away for their future i was gonna buy more diapers for one of the children involved in the easter egg hunt that's that's why i needed the money and you would have been stuffing diapers into the eggs ah i would have been stuffing diaper doublers what is that just the well that's the that's the i again you'd have to ask addie but i consider that to be really the nadir point of my parenting which was when she was really little and in diapers and wouldn't sleep through the night because she wanted well first of all i would give her a bottle of apple juice to fall asleep which now you really don't do because it's super sugary it's bad for their teeth but in those days it was the mid 90s it was a different time uh that was socially acceptable so i'd give her a bottle of apple juice but she would wake up in the middle of the night and want another bottle of apple juice and so I figured I could just line up two bottles of apple juice on the windowsill next

to her crib she could just like self-serve but the problem was then that made her pee a lot like to the point where there was a situation and so i got bought these things called diaper doublers which was just like a maxi pad for diapers like a brick of absorbency it's in the name that you then you put in the diaper so like it worked like a charm at you know i'd get to sleep until like 7 a.m on a saturday and then i'd go in there and she'd be sitting there in her crib ready to go and I'd pick her up and she'd weigh like 75 pounds. The diaper would be like an event horizon. It would just be like a black hole of just dense matter. Then we'd, you know, I'd get her all cleaned up and we'd put on a little mermaid cassette tape and be on with our day.

Well, the good news is everybody forgot that you also use wine as a laxative after that story.

That's that's a strategy for you. You want to make sure the last story is the most troubling. so as to really kind of cleanse the palate from the earlier troubling story. All right, let's take a break, and then when we come back, speaking of kids, we'll talk about this kid at the library in Boise and how you pronounce Kiev or Kiev. Coming up here on TBTL.

You can be having so much fun

Okay, just calm down.

You know, you've got everyone looking at their calendars, looking at their phone like, what?

Today's a Friday. Why am I hearing a Blurz song? Oh, speaking of Blurz days, this is not a mistake. There's a reason I'm playing this music, and it's a good reason. I did get an email from somebody who wanted to know, did we come up with the term Blurz day? Because, of course, it became very popular, this term Blurz day, during the pandemic. As in, hey, what day is it? Nobody knows. time has no meaning. Guess it's Blur's Day. Time to zoom in my pajama pants. Yeah, there's all kinds of, you know, those cutesy little memes and stuff. I don't think I noticed that happening.

Yeah. So anyway, that's

news to me. In fact, I even looked it up to respond to this listener and saying, I don't think we made it up. I think it was, as the listener predicted, I think we started saying it kind of inspired probably by that Simpsons joke, it was the blurst of times. It was the best of times.

It was the blurst of times. But now,

it's actually, like, Oxford called it out in the year 2020 is one of like the new words it was the best of times it was the worst of times and i said i don't think we have a i think we were using it earlier on but i don't think we necessarily invented it what is your take on that blurs day my guess is like about anything

on this show that's funny or inventive a listener came up with it that could be it too yeah um

it was just kind of in the air sort of it's like a seed that we probably grabbed at one point And it is true. It was definitely popularized after us. I think we were using it pretty early on. But I don't want to sit around and say, I don't want to sit around, as I often do, and say, I came up with that. Because who knows? So much of the shit we say on this show is us just paraphrasing other people's jokes.

I do think maybe if we made the decision to do it on Thursday, then that drove the kind of us. Again, it could have been a thing where we decided Thursday made the most sense And then because of that Simpsons blurs of times thing We just kind of melded it all together But again, my guess is that it originated with something Either outside of the show, like totally unrelated to us And we just stole it Or a listener mentioned it in an email And we thought it was funny and ran with it If anybody knows the origin of it, let us know

Yeah, because I guess it was on I think this person wrote in Because they were listening to an NPR podcast I want to say, like, maybe a pop culture happy hour, maybe something music-related. I don't know. And there was a little banter about Blur's Days, and they were offended on our behalf. Anyway, the reason— As well they should have been. That's right. The reason we are listening to this music right now is because I made a terrible mistake yesterday, and I skipped somebody's Blur's Day. And it's our dear friend Heidi in Minnesota writing in to say, I want to give a very happy Blur's Day to my five, who is no longer five. Hooray for Reese, who's turning six. Where's my bell? Reese first met you guys when he was four weeks old at the Live Wire show at the Fitz in St. Paul. Reese is a creative, smart, very determined kid who loves to say power out at the end of episodes. He deserves the happiest of Blur's Days. He does indeed. Happy Blur's Day, Reese. Sure does. Happy Blur's Day, Reese. Sorry for missing that email yesterday. You're like the coolest person I've ever met Anyway, we're looking into it We're investigating why I missed that And all I can say is we'll do better in the future

We're currently reviewing our systems and protocols To try to identify where the mistake was made And rectify it going forward, Reese

getting a full report we've actually hired an outside uh an outside firm to come in and just kind of look at what went wrong with this and i'm sure and my guess is it's somebody it's somebody

who works for me it's probably it i'm guessing that yeah it wouldn't although and the buck stops

with us though andrew i mean clearly sure this was something that probably happened down at a much lower level um kind of an entry level for tbtl but because we are the you know we're the two cartoons in the boat rowing somewhere is that what we're doing in that boat i think so

our logo do we have oars in our i think i'm rowing i think you're just chilling didn't we actually even talk about that no joke as it being a kind of a visual joke uh i could be wrong about that let me look i'm calling up our web page now no i have it backwards we both have nope we both have i don't have a backwards let's have it wrong we both have oars in our hands where i like that better i think at one point you proposed though it being funny if i had both the oars i think that was that would be more accurate let's be honest i don't think that's true at all but i do think it was a joke that you had proposed because we're the faces in the boat obviously we are responsible

for missing reese's birthday but i'm saying our heads will not roll though i want everybody to

know that i will fire everybody will bobble they will bobble that is true they might even break but they will not roll.

I'm looking at our bobbleheads right now in our tennis whites. I'm just reminded of what a...

You actually have those bobbleheads on display in your office, right?

What a long, strange journey. Yeah, I don't know why exactly. I don't... Like, we've had... There's been so much TBTL swag over the years that's been generated throughout the various thons, and I don't have, like, a collection of those things, but for some reason, I've got those bobbleheads sitting here. And so there they are. Anyway, here we are. Speaking of GBTL-a-thons and donations, we've got to thank some donors of the day who are making today's episode possible with their monthly support. We want to say thanks to Leah Pels in West Valley City, Utah.

Valley City? I grew up in a Valley City. It wasn't West Valley City. We didn't go over to West Valley City. It's where the Tufts lived.

Yeah, I know. You want to stay out of there. But Leah is in West Valley City, Utah. Nice. And we really appreciate Leah. Also, we appreciate Rob Rumberg in Philadelphia, PA. Love it. Thank you, Rob. I hope Rob was listening to all of the Philly chat the other day related to that newscaster who got knocked over by the bar. Oh, right. Yeah. And was just bringing the strong Philly energy. And then we got into a whole Christine Nangle thing. And then we were playing the Four Seasons.

And, of course, Tim, the most beloved newscaster of the tri-state area. Who I would never say anything bad about

No, we've learned That Tim is actually very droll and awesome I'll tell you who else is droll and awesome Maybe, I don't know I know she's awesome at least And that's Maria Alicia Serrano Who's in Winfield, Illinois Nice Thank you Maria Alicia Very familiar name Keeping the thing going here Trent Stoliarsius Is in Vancouver, British Columbia How do you feel I did with that last name?

I think you did great. You know what I was literally thinking? This is why you deserve both oars. Because if I were just cold reading that, I think, and again, it's not to make a joke about somebody's long last name, but I would have had trouble with that on the fly.

I may have botched that, Trent, and if so, I apologize. But I'm going with Stoliarsis or Stoliarsis.

Yeah.

Out there in beautiful Vancouver, BC. Are we allowed to travel to Canada currently? I don't know what the rules are on the weekend. Is that back open? Yeah. I'm going to go back. I haven't been to Canada in a long... I don't think I've been there since I did that TV story about that boat race that we stopped off in Victoria. So, yeah, I want to get back up there now that the border's open again. Maybe we'll go see Trent. Don Tyler, what were you going to say?

Oh, nothing. I'm just looking. Yeah, it looks like we can travel there, although a couple of weeks ago when Omicron was really racing and ramping up, it says the CDC was telling people to avoid travel between the borders. But I but that to me indicates that it's not we don't because, yeah, remember, like Biden was supposed to lift the travel ban, but it took him a little extra time. But eventually he lifted it anyway.

And there were all these people. I thought this would have been a good TV story. But for some reason, CBS passed on it. But there was this street, this road, I think it's called Avenue Zero or Zero Avenue. That's on the border of the US and Canada. Although it's not like, you know, where I-5 goes through Blaine and there's like Peace Arch Park and all of that.

just seems like it's sort of a road and you could come and sit on like either you'd kind of sit on this road and you would be you know the people from canada would technically be in canada and the people from the u.s would technically be in the u.s and people could like visit people they were dating or family members or whatever weren't people even meeting to date to like weren't they

meeting on apps and then having their first date on either side of the border but i just don't

understand borders because also it's like that seems and i'm fine with this by the way i'm sorry to say i'm not sorry to say this i'm sorry if this upsets people i don't even know if we really should have national borders like or i don't i mean i don't know i'm just very i'm like whatever the furthest i open to immigration you can be is what i am and it's like it's interesting though because you have like if you're trying to go into canada through peace arch park and through that blaine crossing you're like there's all you know there's like border agents and they search your car potentially and it's a whole thing but then can you just walk to a road and like what if you just walked across that road and then just decided to keep walking into canada or down into the u.s that seems kind of porous to me yeah i don't really understand i don't i've never been at

a border crossing that isn't um you know like an official border crossing so so i don't know but yeah i don't think that i mean what you're saying is build a fence between canada and the united

states is that or build a wall no absolutely not build a water slide build a shoot like honestly build a really fun water slide that goes from the u.s to canada and vice versa and if you want to come to the u.s jump on the water slide cool i don't care who you are get over here just you know figure it out when you get here well don't be a jerk i have a process for blue jays fans

i just have a little bit of paperwork but everybody else come on over do you know that

There is, I heard about this on 99% Invisible. Let me also say thanks to Don Tyler, who's in Seattle, Washington. Don. Thank you, Don. And then Tony Erickson is out there in Minneapolis, Minnesota, which actually relates to what I was about to say. I heard on 99% Invisible that throughout sections of like particularly the upper Midwest, where like like the boundary the boundary waters areas of minnesota which is far far far north and then i think touches canada there is the border the u.s canadian border is preserved there by this giant not even not even giant but this like i'm just gonna say it's 20 feet wide swath of grass where they've cut the trees so just imagine when you're flying if you were flying over certain parts of what would otherwise be an indistinguishable change between it being technically the United States and technically Canada because this is just like the complete middle of nowhere there are these like hundreds of miles of just imagine like a city street wide thing that they maintain that is the border

so the border is the line and they want to keep it clear so they can keep an eye on it I was picturing the opposite I thought that I thought you meant that people had carved like a pathway through the trees across the border but i have that wrong you're saying that they're all cut down along the border so you can from above you can visualize very

clearly where the border is yeah and there are these crews of people who are just working on this pretty much all year round just maintaining these long sections of border that are again so remote that just getting to them getting to where the basically swath is is like half of the job And then you've got to camp out there or whatever, and then you just, like, go through and you just, like, cut down the trees and make sure that there is this kind of, like, that there's this – gash is a weird word. Gash is – other than maybe you're running back gashing for 12 yards, gash is rarely a positive. It's got a violence to it. It's got a certain violence to it. Anyway, there's – I'll just go – I'll keep going with swath then. there's just this swath of land of of of you know this clearing basically in the woods letting people know you've now arrived at the border which is so kind of funny to me because it just seems so unnecessary like what you know if you're in this an area of this remoteness and you technically i mean i guess here would be the the reason that that would matter if you wandered into what was technically canada and you let's say you were on a camping trip with your friend and then there was a falling out and you killed your friend i guess if it was in canada that would be a that would be subject to canadian law and if it was in the u.s it'd be subject to u.s law so i guess there are some legal implications but uh it still strikes me as odd that they're putting all that time and effort into maintaining this boundary

i'm just writing myself a note here don't go camping with luke in canada something

Or the U.S.

Sounds dangerous. It is. You ever do that thing where you stand in four states at the same time?

I don't think I've done that, but I would like to at some point. That's like an Arizona-Utah thing, right?

Yes, it is. Have you done it? I have not. I had to look this up, by the way, because I knew that Arizona was one of them, but I didn't know they were. Utah, Arizona, Colorado, and New Mexico. it's the type of thing where it seems like a cool idea and fun but like it also seems like the type of thing where there's a huge long line of people or a bunch of people just milling about waiting for their moment to have their photo taken and then I'm not comfortable in those situations like I would love to do this if it was just like a quiet little like oddity that not a lot of people knew about and I just rolled up one day with me and Genevieve you know you can you can come too

Is it the part where you get to the front of the line And then you get down on all fours To be in four states That's the moment of discomfort for you

Oh you get on all fours I thought you just stand in the middle of a circle Or like a little like where the four lines come together

I guess I was thinking of it Remember like four square when you were a kid I was thinking of it as being The reason I said get down on all fours Is because I was thinking well if you have four Quadrants that are all Butting up against each other I guess you could kind of, if you have big enough feet, you could sort of stride. You could have your heel in one state and then the front of your foot in another state and then the heel on the other shoe.

It's got to be a point, right? It's got to be a single point eventually. Like there are no buffer zones between the borders.

I guess if you stand right on that point, I just think it would be kind of more fun to be like one foot in New Mexico, one foot in Utah, one hand in, you know, kind of like you're playing Twister or something. So you're saying you would actually even just the idea of standing on that point would be something that wouldn't seem appealing to you if there was a line of other tourists waiting to do it.

I just feel like it's in concept. It sounds like a cool thing. Hey, you can go to this thing where you stand in four states at once. But then the reality of what that scene looks like comes crashing down on me. It's like any any, you know, oddity that people go to visit. I don't think oddity is the is the word people like. But even here in Fremont in Seattle, where you have the Fremont Troll, which is this weird old sculpture under a bridge where it looks like a troll is eating a Cadillac, a Volkswagen bug. In Portland, they have a Cadillac here in Seattle as a Volkswagen bug. That was a bad joke. I was trying to think what a richer city would be. Anyway, let's move on. Yeah, you picked the wrong one. I just froze up. And then I paused too long. So I had to say something. I just I'll cut it all out.

Don't cut it all out.

But anyway, even that is kind of like, oh, it's a cool thing. But it's like there's that awkward moment where – and you know me. I'm always sniffing out awkwardness out of every moment. But, like, you know, you see it and you're like that's cool. Snatching awkwardness from the jaws of comfort. That's a good show title. It's a good – hey. Andrew Walsh credo. Maybe I should get a tattoo. But, like, there's a moment where you're like, oh, let's go look at this roadside attraction or whatever. But then you get there and you're like, well, if – like, what are we doing now? Because all it is is like families sort of politely and then at various levels of politeness waiting for one group of people to go through so they can get their photo moment. There's always somebody milling about in the background. So it's never a good photo anyway. I'm not really one to grab like the photo moment even before selfies. I was never like that. Hey, everybody, gather around. Let's take this portrait to mark the occasion. That's always been, you know, kind of a pain point for me, Luke. So, yeah, I mean, it sounds like it would be fun to stand in four states at once. but I'd like it to be a more private experience, which is, of course, not.

Or organic.

Or organic, yeah.

Like, you're just driving down the road, you and Veeves pull over, and you're like, holy shit, look what this is. Yeah. Kind of like you and I had with that thing in, like, Klamath. I think we were technically in, like, California at that point in the Delica, and we were just driving, and we just came up on those Paul Bunyan statues and that, like, the mystery trees.

Now, we did take photos of those, and I think those photos were kind of good, right? Because didn't we, like, make ourselves really, really small in comparison to the giant sculpture? I don't – I think you have those photos. I don't think I do. I do.

I'll send them to you. But that was sort of the ideal because we didn't, like, set out to try – I think they're called the Trees of Mystery. And, again, I think it might be in what's technically called Klamath, California, which is confusing because there's also a Klamath Falls, Oregon. But I believe the Klamath tribe was a tribe of Native Americans that were kind of spread out throughout sort of southern Oregon, northern Cal. But that was the kind of thing where you and I had no idea that we were even going to pass that And then we did and we're like, holy shit, that's kind of cool

Yeah, and I remember, not just to turn this into a remember our vacation Not that it was a vacation But I don't think I'd ever, you know, I'd always heard about those old growth forests And like the redwood forests of California I'd never actually driven through one before That was astounding That was just breathtaking

I just found the picture It's a pretty good picture

How did you find that so quickly? I can search for pictures based on location, so I put Klamath into my phone. Look at you. Yeah, let's make that the show pic. I like it. Yeah. No, we look – I think – you know what I think we did? I think I put the camera – my phone on the Delica and set it on a timer.

Yeah, that rings a bell. And it just did like a burst of pictures.

And yeah, I don't hate this picture. This picture also very much supports the notion that any picture that you take, regardless of how you feel about it in the moment, and oftentimes I'll see a picture of myself and feel really not great about it, whenever I look at it six months or a year later, I wish I was still that youthful. And any picture you take in 10 years will be the best picture of you that exists, except for a picture that was five years before that or five years before that. Like, I'm already feeling that nostalgia with this photo, Andrew, of you and I. Like, I feel like we both would be lucky if we still looked like we look at these pictures.

I feel like in a very, very rare Andrew and Luke moment, I think we both liked those photos at the time. I think we both thought, oh, that's cute. Do you remember that? Because I actually remember it was like a moment. I was like, oh, yeah, I don't. I don't. I'm not crippled with self-hatred right now. What's this feeling?

hello and welcome to top story all right let's talk about this story of this kid dylan helbig in boise idaho uh he is eight years old he loved uh loves going to the lake hazel branch of the um ada community library and um he has uh his grandmother gave him a uh like a blank notebook i think maybe for christmas or something it was 81 pages and he immediately started right filling in this notebook it took him like two days to write this uh story of sorts and and and illustrated as well um where he basically wrote a christmas story called uh let's see the adventure of dylan's christmas by dylan himself it's 88 pages actually and it's story of him i mean it's the kind of story an eight-year-old kid would write let's just say it's not obsessed it's about himself it's not it's not the most cohesive narrative but uh but it's you know it's better than something i could have written at eight it's kind of cute because in this news package he says he's dreamed of having a book or he's dreamed of writing a book since he was five years old now he's eight so he's you know he's had this dream where do you go from here Exactly. And so he writes this Christmas book. It's a story of, it's all over the map. There's time travel. There's, I think there's dinosaurs. It's a lot of, you know, kind of eight-year-old stuff. But he took the book to the library there in Boise or in Ada, and he snuck it into the library and snuck it into the collection of library books. So I thought was kind of interesting that he did was he actually put a sticker on the spine of the book so that it would look more like a library book, which is pretty genius because, you know, library books will have that little, I don't know, code on them on the spine. There's a certain look to them. And he has been to the library enough to know what that looks like. So he actually did his best to really, really make this thing look like it was it belonged in the library. And he snuck it in to one of the sections. And then he told his mom about it. And his mom was like, we should probably go get the book back at some point. So they went back in, and I guess – this is the part of the story I don't fully get, but somehow the book wasn't in the shelf anymore, but it was with the librarians. So I guess somebody saw it and just realized, like, this doesn't belong here.

Yeah, and then there was some concern that when they couldn't find it, oh, was this thrown away, the kid and the mom were like, oh, no. And the mom was especially concerned, and it turns out, no. A librarian found it, said this doesn't belong here, but also kept it and said we would never throw a book like this away. And they had it, you know, behind the counter or something.

And so the kind of cute end to the story is that they decided to actually enter or sort of like, you know, make it a part of their actual library collection. They decided that it meets the standards of a book that would be in their library. So it's like it now has its own official. I don't know if it's a Dewey decimal. Also, it turns out Dewey was a terrible person.

You were telling you were reading a book about this recently. I think you were telling me off air that the history of Dewey is atrocious.

Oh, he's horrible. But I guess he gets credit still for the Dewey Decimal System. So, yeah, this book, Dylan Helbig's Christmas by Dylan himself, is now officially part of the library's collection, and there was as of, you know, as of, what do you call it, print time? As of the time of these news stories coming out of Boise. Press time, I think. Press time.

time thank you as of press time there was like a four-person waiting list to get their hands on this book that this kid had written so it's a pretty cute story i guess what you don't like andrew is the tv coverage of it is that is that the part of the story that that you're not enjoying

i mean listen and we'll we'll get to it i'm sure i bet you have a bunch of good tape of this kid this kid is adorable and it's great tape and i don't hate children which is what people are gonna accuse me of after this segment but like you skipped reese's birthday yesterday intentionally reese was getting a little too big for reese's britches um i uh i just think like this story this entire tv package is five and a half minutes long which is just like an eternity in tv news time you know that luke i mean i'm surprised you're not more pissed about this like you can only get like you start off with three and a half minutes to talk to kirsten dunst and then that was probably cut back to one and a half or i don't know i'm just making this up but you've told me before about the frustrations of you know and the realities of putting together a tv news package here you have like a cute little story that can be told in about 45 seconds if it's going to be longer than that then it just needs to be all the kid talking like there's they're just making way too big of a deal about a kid doing a kid thing like it's cute it's good good for him but like I don't understand five and a half minutes. And also, this is where the where my my critics ear comes in. Just like. And again, I'm just ragging on whoever put this together for KTVB. I don't know where this is out of. I don't know if you already said this, but it the lead on this story is so broad. You know, people talk about the inverted pyramid. I think most people know what that means. It's like kind of a convention when you're writing a new story, but it's also a convention if you're just writing like an essay with a thesis, right? You start with a broad statement, then you get narrower and narrower until you get to the point that you want to make. And then the rest of the story is, you know, backing up that point in some way. And in this one, like, I swear to God, I haven't heard this since I played it, you know, the other day as I was doing some show prep. And it was kind of on the background. It's like they go so broad. It's like books have been. No, it feels like it goes so far back that it's like they're explaining to us like the art of storytelling from the first time somebody scratched into papyrus. Like the lead of the story is explaining what a goddamn library is and like how many books are in this particular. Can I just hit play on this? Let's see how much I'm exaggerating this. I feel like this is the longest. I have thought, so this is why I'm playing.

We're going to get on our media and it's going to have to do with local television versus national television and a bunch of other things. That's why I'm playing our on-the-media theme.

But just listen to how long it takes them to get to the goddamn point, which is a kid did a kid thing. You know, people self-publish books all the time. We're starting with self-published. Well, okay, I guess the kid is self-published. Sorry. But for many authors, the true testament to literary success is seeing your book in a library. It's a process for many that could. See, I disagree with that. I think it's seeing it in a bookstore. I don't think that's true. Do you really think that most writers are like, I can't wait to see it in a library? I think if they wanted to be

If they wanted to hedge their bet They could have said I don't hate this intro by the way I think they could have said They could have hedged it a little bit Instead of saying the ultimate dream is to be in the library They could say something like It's a thrill to see your book in a library Or something that's not elevating the library Above say the Hudson books In the airport or whatever But still kind of Establishes it as something That would be a lofty goal

for an author just like starting with how many people in this country self-publish like maybe to even just combine these two sentences into it's a dream of a lot of writers to see their books on a library shelf like just that it doesn't have to be like because you're already into false statements and just okay i'm gonna start from the beginning i'm gonna shut up i'm just gonna let it play all the way through it's first his lead all five minutes no just like the intro we're gonna see how many seconds it takes him to get to the actual point of the story because like first he has an intro in the studio and then i think he has another intro uh on the package before you finally get to the goddamn point you know people self-publish books all the time the internet is riddled with them but for many authors the true testament to literary success now i want to say

riddled that jumped out at me riddled is the wrong word there the internet is riddled with so we're riddled makes it sound like they are a virus yes that we need to eliminate so you could just say uh you know you could say full of full of them or they're all over the internet or something but riddled is almost always used in a sort of pejorative yeah and that is something too

like there is a bunch of kind of weird ass shit being self-published and then and the internet is sort of riddled with it but that's sort of a different story like you just don't need this in your lead it so distracting from the beginning from the top you know people self-publish books all the time the internet is riddled with them but for many authors the true testament to literary success is seeing your book in a library it's a process for many that could take years to achieve a process of getting your book in a library who put the prosperity of his prose in his own hands and then literally he put it on the shelf himself the prosperity yeah that one is i have to say yeah

and that's the studio intro now you're like okay we're finally outside this library just cut to the tape of the kid i drew something it was cute i snuck it in the library that's all you have to do

but no now we're at the library i'm hung up on the prosperity of his prose because in a very if you're just being extremely generous you could say yeah there's you could say that i mean can pros have prosperity maybe but it's

a real stretch. Not by renting it for free at a library. It's very much about

that's just very much about alliteration and that's whatever anyway. It's just so horrible

and we're 23 seconds in so far like can you imagine what you would have done if you had another 23 seconds on your ice swimming story okay so he's just wrapping up in studio now you're like I've been rescued by the boat twice. We're gonna get to it now right? No we're gonna get into how many books is on this library shelves.

ada lake hazel this is tara how can i help you the lake hazel branch of the ada county library what's the name of it is a bastion for books yeah it's a library between 40 and 50 000 books at this location we have books for adults books for children whoa a lot luke sit down this library has books for adults and children for kids that are learning to read picture books so yeah all

kinds of stuff okay so i'm glad they established that this library has all kinds of books for adults and kids even kids who are learning how to read wow which is why eight-year-olds like dylan helbig this is your library yeah feel right at home there we go 53 seconds into the piece we finally hear hey cute kid does something cute then they interview the mom as if this is more of i won't go into all of that but like then they interview the mom as if this is some big serious story they're trying to create this narrative arc of the book was lost oh but it was just the book was on the shelf somebody saw it on the shelf they took it off they put it behind the counter for a little bit the kid came back and got it like then the library does something cute where they rent out the book great that's cute that's cute tell it in 90 seconds and what and stop interviewing the mom she didn't do anything i'm done oh that was i thought you want me to do you want me to go back to the tape i thought maybe you had i thought maybe because we should hear the cute part of the tape but i thought maybe you had something cute up for that i'm happy to keep

playing it from my end because the kid is cute yeah the kid's very cute i think it's a good story for local tv news here's the thing i i i think what you're not factoring in andrew is that local tv news as opposed to like the show that i happen to work on where there are like and this is i guess you could say real privilege um but like there are way more stories on cbs created for cbs sunday morning than there are hours of the show each week so it's a fight to get on the air and to get enough time for your piece i think local television news operates very differently they have these hour-long newscasts that they're trying to fill and they have a usually they're you know these days probably short-staffed probably the person who shot this piece was also their own camera person you know and so they're not saying can you make it a minute they're saying can you make it five minutes because we have to fill this hour of local news in boise well for

whatever the reason and i guess i'm the one who introduced it as trying to maybe be a little arch and comparing it to the stuff that you do like yeah they can do whatever they want with their time and this is i see this is on some show called the 208 so i'm sure this is more of like a lifestyle magazine kind of local like you know yeah king fives evening magazine or whatever they call it So I'm sure, like, that's the context for this. I'm not, you know, I know how these things work. But I also know that it's the Internet age. They're just like, hey, we're going to do this thing. We're going to make it go viral. But they've just, like, they've made way too much of a to-do out of this. I would have liked this more. And, again, like, I like letting tape breathe. So it's not like I'm somebody who's on this show a lot saying, make it shorter, make it shorter. Quite the opposite. I like really long tape. Like, but the problem is this isn't just really long tape. This is just really long, badly written bullshit. shit like that's my problem with it i hate the writing of this in the presentation i i agree

that the some of the word the some of the word usage is a little a stretch for me but i think here's the other problem and i've been through this andrew not even so much for tv stuff but radio stuff i actually don't think this kid is the greatest interview yeah right yeah i mean that's the problem there's cute little moments go ahead yes and that's what well that and that is what that's what you're seeing what happened was

They heard this story. They heard about this thing, which is a ready-made local news story. They went out to interview the kid. And when they sat down with the kid, they realized he's eight years old. He doesn't really speak in complete sentences. He doesn't really have a coherent – because he's eight. He doesn't have like – it's not like talking to an adult about something they did. And so I think after sitting there and talking to the kid a bunch, they realized we don't really have a lot of good tape from the kid. So what we have to do is write around it like crazy and then just use these teeny tiny snippets where we like completely tee up this three seconds of the kid saying something that's kind of like we're trying to like have a facet like on a ring that's holding up this little piece of tape that's not by itself that great. And that's why I think this writing, that's why I think it's so overwritten, because they were trying to, you know, really alchemize this not particularly good audio tape. Let's listen to a little bit of it here.

Do you want me to, oh, you got it there.

I don't help a kid's self.

Taking an empty journal, a gift from his grandma.

And me unwrapping a Nerf gun.

And filling it in just two days.

Even though it has 81 pages.

So you're in the book.

Yes, I am in the book.

Who else is in the book?

My mom.

Who else?

Santa.

Who else?

A giant turkey.

okay so like by the way i didn't think that's the worst no that's funny that's fire yeah no that's like but again i think because this is an eight-year-old kid we're talking about he's like very comfortable giving one word answers because he's eight he says he doesn't he's not bought into this like thing that we all now have including you and i that like let's use 12 words when two will do i give it to dylan i think dylan you know he's using an economy of language it's i agree no

i like the kid i kind of like the fact that you were going after the kid saying that he well

I just what I mean is I was going to be the heel and you're giving me a lot of kid is not I'm trying to trying to distract everyone from the fact that I basically locked my my own daughter in a crib with a diaper doubler trying to make the third my third take the worst of all of them no I just think when I say it was bad tape I don't mean that Dylan did anything wrong I mean I just don't think they got back to the station and and we're like this is great we can just air this we can just kind of air this as is they felt like we have to really do a lot to make this work. What does Dylan do in the book? So first

he decorates the tree.

And the star has a bomb.

No, I think someone overnight put a bomb in there and it just exploded. And? I get sucked into the portal and I go into the very first Thanksgiving. Ah, the giant turkey. Everything about it was a bit crazy. Got it. I know some of the words. Writing a book. Yeah, because some of the words are my sight words. Wasn't what impressed his mom the most. So this one I just figured was like any other one that he has

written. It was what Dylan did with his book that caught her by surprise. I didn't know this was his ultimate plan. His plan he put in play days later. I've been wanting to put a book in a library since I was five. But that takes editors and publishers and distributors, doesn't it? You know, you can't just put your book on the shelf. Or can you? Well, Dylan did. There was a lot of librarians that I

I had to get past it, you know what I did?

Hearing him say Librarian is one of my favorite things in the world. I'm sorry to interrupt the good tape. It's so adorable. But you see how it's still like, this is just painfully drawn out. Like, but you can't just put a book on the shelf, or can you? It's like, can we just have one?

What if it was, you can't just put a book on the shelf, which is why Dylan didn't do it.

Story over. They're just drawing it out. Like, it's this huge narrative arc where it's like, a kid did a kid thing. It's cute. Get tape of the kid.

Goodbye. Right. Again, to me, this really, I think, goes to staffing at local television. I'm sure, I'm sure. Like, that's, I think it's just, and also, again, you're right. I didn't realize this was from something called the 208, though, which every city, every major city now has a version of this. I think the thing on King 5 is called the 5. It's actually our buddy, Chris Cashman, is on it, and I think Chris does great stories. But it's like they keep, it's like the local TV news stations keep creating more hours of content but not hiring more people to fill. The hours of content And so it's just like How do we How do we churn out more content You know seven days a week To fill all of this time without hiring Enough people to do it I think that's where we land with this five and a half minute story

I covered this part and covered the back With my body and just

I could see you saying this is Unnecessary Andrew but I actually thought it was quite charming Where they basically filmed him Showing how he had snuck his book Into the library his own book because he was covering the book up so that the librarians of course i don't think the librarians would have noticed but in his mind it was like this was the caper of the century and he had to like obscure the nature of

the book he was smuggling into the library. And they actually show him doing that. It's pretty cute.

Recreating it, yeah.

Knock it in like this. I came in running, and then I started to walk. And then I came in this aisle. Wait, this aisle. And then I put my book right here.

Complete with stickers on the spine. Andrew, we're not even halfway through this piece. No, we're not. And you're not skipping ahead, are you? I was wondering, did you skip part of it? Okay, we're still in kind of real time here, yeah. Yeah, here we go. So it would look like it belonged.

And the next time I came back, it was gone.

That night at home, he told his mom.

I thought that we had lost it, you know, and I figured somebody would probably find it and put it in lost and found.

I think my mom called the library.

His parents were worried that we would find his book and we would get rid of it, which was an unfounded fear. Because if there's ever a place... That's one of the librarians. If a book would be safe, it would be here. True. Well, they found it. I think it was in our stories section. And the librarians? Every page is illustrated. Loved it. Yeah, and it's a good story. And they wanted it. Dylan's book definitely fit all of the criteria that we would look for to include a book in our collection. So with permission, they processed it, put on the proper stickers, and now The Adventures of Dylan Helbig's Christmas by Dylan himself is a full-fledged library book. Now it's in the system. Anybody with a library card can check out the book. You may have to wait a few weeks at this point.

There's actually a waiting list. People want to check it out. So there's like four people in line.

I think we're coming up on the money clip, though, which I've even played on the show now multiple times, which is Dylan explaining that he always be sneaking when he gets his chocolate. I mean, this is really, to me, this justifies the entire piece.

That's just, like, mind-blowing. Chapter four.

Not bad for an eight-year-old who's been waiting to get a book in the library since he was five.

And now I did it.

Yeah, it's not the normal process for including a book into a library collection. But in this scenario, it worked for Dylan.

And he puts his mind to something, and he makes it happen. I always be sneaky like how I get chocolate. It doesn't surprise me at all.

I mean, I'm just really glad they included the piece of tape of a librarian saying this isn't usual library behavior. Thanks. Thanks for – there's just so much dumb – again, I don't dislike the kid in this at all. I like the kid. I just hate everything. I hate all the adults involved in this.

I am. I think as a person who has maybe, again, worked in television to some degree, although never at the local level, I think I have a little bit more empathy for being like the person who's trying to like kind of feels like a certain amount of pressure to make to try to take this as long as they can, because they probably. I mean, compared to the other things that happened in Boise that day, I'm sure that this was considered to be a real like, you know, this was a hot story. But I'm with you. It could have been this whole thing could have been two minutes long.

Would you like I don't want to give myself homework because I don't know if I can do this this weekend. But what I should do if I want to put my money or my version of the not film it, but just take this tape, take this five and a half minute tape, cut it, just audio. You know what I mean? Because we're an audio medium. I'm not going to put this into my Adobe Premiere and try to make a video out of this, but just like cut this down to like what I think is necessary and interesting that that would be an interest.

Maybe I would love that. You know, that would be an interesting piece of, yeah, journalistic experiment. Could you take Dylan's tape? Because, again, I think Dylan is as adorable as a kid can be, but I also think that kids of Dylan's age don't tend to speak in long paragraph length statements. and I think that's kind of why this got sliced and diced the way it did but there might be something that's still less slicey and dicey than what these folks

ended up doing. And again, you're kind of you keep on pointing out the fact that they probably had five and a half minutes to kill so that's why it's so long. So I'd be doing something different just saying like, okay, I'm not talking about how much time to fill. Let's get this story down to something that I think is a nice tight story that holds up better. How long will that end up being? I'm sure it'll end up being probably closer to, I don't know, even maybe even three and a half, which is still a decent amount of real estate. But like I would I would have to rerecord a lead and just be like, you know, a one sentence lead. Just like the you know, even if you want to use that fact about how many books are in the library, just start by saying the so and so county library has this number of books. But now or yesterday, the library had this number of books, but now it has one more. Thanks to the youngest author on the shelves and then cut to the kid. Like, we don't need the vibration.

librarian rattling on about how our library has books for adults and kids and even kids learning to read like cut all of that out let's just get to it i would like it if you're get to the jokes

i would like it if you're easy david lynch i would like it if your version of the story andrew is just him saying i always be sneaking like how i just on a loop just on a loop and then some music

kind of kicks in the do i look like i know what a jpeg is i just want to hear a kid talking about

being sneaky with his chocolates oh my gosh there is i'll try to find this for monday andrew we'll both we both have uh research to do over the weekend there is a song going around tiktok That's Hank Hill Like Let's see if I can Hank Hill TikTok song I don't know if I can Find this on the fly This is From 2019 I would be shocked If this was I'll try to find it Over the weekend and play it For you on Monday it is just It might be a person just doing a Hank Hill From King of the Hill impression But it's like it's just it's the perfect tiktok because it's so bizarre it's sort of got a slightly hip-hop beat but it's hank hill talking about whatever and it's just and then people are just doing these weird dances to it i just love it so much it's it's the sort of perfect expression of tiktok to me and it's also kind of a catchy song so it's not called i'll tell you what is it i don't know can you play that i mean let me just try this i could be wrong official music video i'll tell you what i see this from 2019 i'm assuming this was made more more recently than this but i don't know

i'll hit planet but stop me when we realize it's wrong does this ring a bell no no i'm dropping out of the closet no no this is just somebody doing a

parody nope let's try this this is called king of the trill i'd be surprised if this was it either But let's give it a try here Bang Now my diamonds look in rubber than my steak No, it's not it either I'll find it

I like that a lot of people are doing this though

I think Hank Trill would be a pretty funny Like Twitter name But anyway, I'll find it over the weekend And by find it, I mean I'll just be doing one of my three hour TikTok seshes And it will just show up in my For You page And then I'll just text it to myself So I'll try to have that by Monday Monday when I'll be at your house, Andrew Oh, that's right

Looking forward to it. We're going to be doing several shows together in person.

Yeah, that'll be fun. All right, a little music for the weekend before we get out of here. Andrew, what would you like to suggest on this Friday?

This song I'm going to play is a little bit troll-y, I feel like, but I am fascinated with it. So I was at Teddy's last week. I think I was telling you about that, whatever day that Chiefs-Bills game was on. And a song came on, you know, like the playlist. And for a second, I thought it was the Beatles. And I was like, oh, wait, no, this is definitely not the Beatles. But it's amazing. I asked the bartender what it is. And the band has an unfortunate name called Cool Ghouls. I don't know why I don't like it. But anyway, I actually like this song. But I also think that, like, it'll make Beatles fans mad because it is like, I mean, it is like two Beatles songs mashed together. together, especially at the beginning. It sounds like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds meets the song Rain. I don't know if you know that song. When the rain comes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I love I love both of those songs. Now, I listen to the rest of this record by Cool Ghouls and it is good. It's up my alley. It's very poppy. It's very retro sounding from that kind of like early psychedelic era. Of course, this is new music. This album came out in 2014. So, you know, I'm 45. I consider that new music. But anyway, I want to play it. But I do think that hardcore Beatles fans might be like they might have the reaction that you had to the Greta Van Fleet phenomenon where you have this band that sounds exactly like Led Zeppelin. And they're like, I don't know what a Led Zeppelin is like that didn't bother me as much because I'm like, yeah, I do like the sound of Led Zeppelin. But I've heard all the Led Zeppelin songs before. If there's some other band that wants to make new music that sounds like that, like, I don't know. It just didn't offend me as much. And I have a feeling that maybe hardcore Beatles fans might like kind of hate that this is such a ripoff. But I like it. And the whole record is not a ripoff. But anyway, the name of this particular song that I want to play for you is called What a Dream I Had.

We'll be right back.

What a dream I had

Could it be real?

What a dream I had I couldn't Slept inside of me What a dream I had

All right, I gave a pretty caffeinated intro to this, as I often do. Do you hear it, though?

Oh, my gosh. And did you mention, I mean, I really like it, by the way. Me, too.

I legit like it, yeah.

I kind of worked out for a hot second. Did you also mention Strawberry Fields? You know what? You're right. I said Lucy in the Sky.

Let me take you down because I'm going.

So it's like let's throw another. Let's layer it with one more layer of Beatles.

I think I misspoke. I think I said Lucy in the Sky, but I meant Strawberry Fields. I think those are the two songs I was hearing. Yes, I was hearing Strawberry Fields in Rain and just Lucy in the Sky, just that kind of production style. I mean, it was all that same kind of era, but yeah, that's what I meant. about the band other than that their name is maybe not the ideal name for our tastes i think they have a couple of albums out i've been listening to the that that full record it's like really good like puttering around the kitchen music for me so i did listen to the record a couple of times kind of in the background but it's kind of growing on me it's a good vibe i definitely like that record which i guess i can give you the name of here it's called a swirling fire burning through

the rye so no wow yeah uh no i like that sound a lot a lot i was trying to find some before i get to my uh before i get to my music for your weekend which is not particularly inventive um so i want to maybe add a little value to this remember last uh remember last week when we played that listener song that was that was a cover of a song by somebody named Labby Sifri yes I loved the original

the original just I actually I've listened to it a couple of times since I love it

so the original this Labby Sifri person I was not that familiar with and so of course whenever I happen upon something that I think is a slightly under discovered gem I will send it to my daughter to try to impress her and then she will say oh yeah that's the person who did this and that and um you you really should check out this which is exactly what happened when i sent her that she said oh yeah take a listen to this tell uh like do you recognize the sample so i just want to play this for you andrew this is a different labby siffry song this is not my music for your weekend but i just thought this you'd dig this can you name this what what song samples this

This is my song And no one Can take it away It's been so long But now you're here Here to stay And I wonder Oh, and I wonder

The Kanye song, right? The Kanye song. I was like waiting for it. I didn't hear it until And I Wonder. Is that off of Jesus, maybe?

The problem was I was trying to switch. I should have cut out the Labry Siffry song earlier so we could... This is the Kanye version.

And I wonder if you know what it means

So this is the Kanye

Well, and I wonder

I don't know, you know what? This is why Neil Young quit Spotify It's so confusing So I went in there and I was trying to find the Kanye song Which I forget which of those albums it's off of But there's something called I Wonder-Kanye West With a picture of Kanye But then it's underneath it's by something called Salvayay Music and it appears to just be the Labby Syphiline. Yeah, I think so. Thanks a lot, Spotify. And this brings me to my actual Music for Your Weekend selection, Andrew which is in honor of him telling Spotify to go take a long walk off a short pier due to their Joe Rogan support. I saw a tweet the other day, Andrew, that was Well I'm going to mangle it Which is not going to pay off But it was someone saying It was someone who was

I think maybe roughly our age, and said something to the effect of like, my generation doesn't need a Joe Rogan because we already had him. He was called someone's 27-year-old older brother who lived in their parents' basement and was a loser and claimed that the Mayans had cell phones. I was like, I were a lot of Joe Rogans in my life as a kid, and they were always the stoner older brother of someone who I was hanging out with, and they always had a lot of theories.

Did you see the picture that people were posting around that said Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Rogan? No. They just, like, Photoshopped him in next to the band.

Anyway, I wanted to play a Neil song, a Neil Young song this week because he's been in the news because of him taking a stand against Spotify. And also, I just love this song. Now, I was conflicted. Of course, I wanted to go like pick like Needle and the Damage Done or some like OG, you know, old man go like OG Neil Young to prove that I really get it. But I got to be honest with you, dude. Harvest Moon. I love that song so much. And I know that's like new Neil Young to people, even though it's as old as my daughter.

30 years old.

It came out in 1994, I think.

Yeah.

It's literally my daughter's age. um if i were raising harvest moon by neil young i would have been putting diaper doublers on it back in the back in 96 but anyway i know that like heart to to young heads maybe harvest moon is new neil young but i have to say it's what really got me into him and i just love this song i just think it's a beautiful song so can we hear a little bit of harvest moon by neil young yeah

now the i recognize the irony of this a long time ago when i saw this on your show sheet do you recognize the irony of this that i play all of the music from spotify oh yeah well that's i mean andrew we're trying to change the system from within so i can't play this off of spotify so i guess i'm gonna play this this is harvest moon the official music video i don't know if the music begins right away or if this is going to begin with like some sort of like sound effects as i see somebody is sweeping the street here so anyway bear with us here's the okay music video for this

They don't have Neil Young on Spotify?

I'm going to write a letter, see if we can get it back.

Come a little bit closer Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleeping We could dream this night away

But there's a full moon rising Is there a song that uses enharmonics better than this song?

That's that little kind of, you know, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, that little part. I feel like this is top five use of enharmonics in a song.

I don't have a top five list at the ready. I love this song. I don't either.

It's the only one I have. It is. So it's number one in my books. But you know that I am a sucker for that little I can't do it. I'm not good at guitar, but where you, you know, you kind of hit that, you pluck the string or you hit the string and you don't fully push it down onto the fretboard. So you get that little kind of that. I think it's called an enharmonic.

Yeah, I remember doing that. I used to have various guitars when I thought I might play. Yeah, I used to play guitar. I was never good at guitar. Are you kidding me? I had three guitars at one point. What?

How am I just learning this, Andrew?

Well, I was never good at it. I don't talk about it a lot because it's not like. we could start a band that's what i'm saying i could do the harmonics though i mean you just barely i can play c a d okay i think i can do it i can throw a g in there did you say e already i can do e that's easy that's two fingers i can handle e minor oh wait maybe i'm thinking of e minor if you do e i'll do e minor i can do bar chords i can do the beginning you can play bar chords well geez louise bar chords are easy yes tex winter and i could you know the only thing i could sort of play was the very beginning of poker player maybe i'm thinking of johnny winter uh winter also play guitar or just poker i could do that that rhythmic intro to um smells like teen spirit i could do that power because that was a power chord thing so anyway okay there we

are talking past each other uh but i wanted i'm sorry because i'm just i just need to clarify by tech.

x winter was a basketball coach i was trying to think of like a guitar shredder and my mind was you remember those um i think it's johnny winter and his brother those guys out of tech because i think they have albinism they were sort of quite striking figures and they were like you know kind of like guitar dudes so i was thinking winter but i couldn't think of johnny winter or johnny winter so i thought of tex winter who is accredited with inventing the triangle offense i believe he was a influential character in the life of phil jackson who then made won many championships with

the triangle offense but he also probably plays poker like he also plays and guitar probably so

i wasn't totally wrong when i say what are you some kind of tex winter right exactly by the way

i think you know this but and i think i've i say this every time it comes up but like that song is so great and it's funny how you say you want to play something that's like og like needle in the damage done or old man but like there's a i mean i think what happened was that those songs that you're listing came off of the i think 1970 album harvest right and then neil young goes on and he gets does some more like rocking albums and i think he got a couple of bands that he played with and then in 94 i think he purposely said i want to do a return to that and that's why he came out with harvest moon it was very specifically like a return to that kind of thing so it's all of the same spirit like i love that song it's a beautiful song it just i remember even at the

time being like wow neil young is that the guy from crosby stills nash and young and he's putting out music because it was a little bit outside of my awareness at that time but i remember that cd and i remember i think my dad having it and being really into it and because my dad's you know from the og neil young era like my dad i think went and saw crosby stills nash and young play at like a motor speedway in missoula and he said the kids were like everybody was dancing around and freaking out so much that a static cloud formed this was in the in this was in the infield of a racetrack in missoula and you said there was like a static cloud that formed probably a pot cloud really that formed over everybody because there was like so many people like shuffling their feet in close proximity to each other or something so anyway that's my my dad was like down with original neil young stuff and so he was excited when harvest moon came out that was kind of my introduction to

the whole thing i know we're going a little bit long here but speaking of top five lists i'm thinking of neil young because my introduction to neil young was around the same time it was kind of the um the grunge era and of course i'm thinking about like him playing with pearl jam that was kind of a big deal in in my world as a teenager and then um of course like so we kind of had this kind of rebirth in pop culture in the 90s for our generation and a big part of that was his mtv unplugged right and i was going to ask you without using the internet can you and i do a top five mtv unplugs because i think i've got at least four here in my head i mean our lists may may differ somewhat but i'd put neil young on mine what's that i'd put neil young on mine yeah you too okay no uh the band you too no i was asking if you were also putting neil young on your list sure i can just do mine if you want me to rattle off mine i would say i need to i'm gonna ding a

bell if if i did i'm gonna ding a bell if it's something that would also be on my list okay

Sounds good. I'm going to say, and this is not in order necessarily, although I will end with my favorite, Neil Young. No bell. Interesting. I would say. Well, I just had, I had forgotten that he did an Unplugged. Okay. It's a good one. I would say Neil Young, and then I would say, this would probably be in slot number five, Stone Temple Pilots. I don't even have an album by them. I know nothing about Stone Temple Pilots, but it's a great Unplugged. I would say the REM one, which also featured Natalie Merchant. That's getting up there.

Oh, I think I thought that was 10,000 Maniacs. So I'm going to ding that.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. We can't look at the internet. I think you're right. This segment is designed to make the listeners mad. You're right. Was there a 10,000 Maniacs and an REM one? Because there was definitely an REM one, and I thought Natalie came out and sang on that one. But no, you're right. Like, I need to use two slots, R.E.M. and 10,000 Maniacs. And then the number one for me of all time would be Nirvana, of course. Very much so.

The Nirvana one was just, like, that's, I mean, it's not even, and all the other ones are really good, too. But the Nirvana one is just orders of magnitude better than anything else. I mean, one of the better, like, just filmed concert things I probably have ever seen. Yeah. It's just so good from front to back.

And so much different from what we knew them of at that point. They only had two records at that time and one that was a real breakout one. Or wait, maybe they had three at that point. I can't recall exactly. But it just stood together. And it introduced us to so much music. It's when we started to realize that so much of what Nirvana does is covers. To this day, I will still be somewhere and I'll hear a song and I'll be like, that song that I always thought was a Nirvana song was actually a cover song. Like he was covering all kinds of obscure stuff.

And, like, I wouldn't know who the Vaselines are today, probably, if it weren't for that, or the meat puppets.

Yeah, did he—I don't know that they ever covered a Daniel Johnson song, even though he was always wearing that Daniel Johnson Hi, How Are You t-shirt. I feel like that would have been an interesting cover for them to do. Yeah, I'll bet you there's some bootlegs somewhere.

Probably.

All right, so. Anyway. We are now at the listener's suggestion. It's from listener Carrie. Hi, Luke and Andrew. I would like to recommend the song Puppy and a Truck by Jenny Lewis as music for your weekend. Puppy and a Truck. I tell all of my 45-year-old guys to listen to this song, or at least you guys crossed my mind when I heard the lyric, quote, I'm 44 in 2020. Also, Luke, didn't you buy an old truck? Yes, Carrie, I did. I don't want to get into it right now. Basically, I bought this truck on a complete impulse. i got it towed to a place where they got it started but now they now i need to go back and basically deal with it because it sounds like the engine is about to fall out of the truck and it's something about reckon like like dealing with the impulsivity of my purchase to now go to this weird gummo auto repair place uh and here the truck running roughly will force me to confront just how impulsive i am and it has become a whole thing in my mind there are also not calling me i've already paid the bill it's just sitting there so no one's calling me saying you got to come get your truck and because it gives me a bad feeling to think about going there with this weirdo guy and starting it i just keep putting it off um so yes carrie i did buy a truck to answer your question congratulations by the way thank you andrew don't you want to get a dog uh i think at some point so carrie says i heard this song play on the current that's minnesota public radio about a month ago for the first time and i've had it in heavy rotation ever since i think you and the tens will really dig it sincerely carrie a first generation organic dairy farmer from minnesota i listen to tbtl every afternoon while i milk my 35 cows carrie get at me on the

topic of hoof repair yeah right and we at least have two dairy farmers who listen to the show now Yeah, William in Maryland

I don't know, I think William Got fed up with our crap, but it's good to know That Carrie in Minnesota may have replaced William in Maryland

Just like energy in the universe, there's always the same Number of dairy farmers

Conservation of dairy farmers

Carrie, I would love

To, at some point, if we open The phone lines, and you're not like literally Dealing with a cow Situation at the moment, we'd love to hear I mean, it was a fascinating conversation Talking to listener William in maryland just the lifestyle of being a dairy farmer is so interesting to me because of just how much dedication it takes so and also you're being an organic dairy farmer i'm curious what that means for you as opposed to a larger operation that isn't running organic so call in sometime carrie will you yeah that could be a little what was that segment what are you doing here what are you doing here didn't we have a segment where you would interview people about what they do while they're listening to tbtl yeah wasn't it called what are you doing here probably we should go back to that yeah um anyway so listener carry is suggesting puppy in a truck by jenny lewis and that is what we're gonna go out with do you know this song no i'm looking so

the lewis head on the program right no this came out in like it looks like november of last year so this is pretty new this totally escaped my radar and i'm very excited to hear this i love already i'm looking at the album artwork and i'm already in love with this song all right oh hey Speaking of judging people by how they look, by the way, I got a note from listener Jay, who you will recall from, I think she played a trivia game with us on the boat show, Luke, when we did TBTL Live. We drove her to drink. Long time listener Jay, yeah, who was a kid when she first started listening. She wanted to let you know, and I didn't realize this either, that Travis Kelsey is apparently one of the most woke people in the NFL. So that's great. He speaks out on important issues. Oh, I love it. Isn't that great? I love it. When he took off, I didn't know what he looked like when he took off his helmet during the game the other night. I also kind of nudged Genevieve. I'm like, well, white power vibes. And it was like I'm totally judging this person completely how they look in the middle of their job of running around for my entertainment and bashing their head. And and Jay was sending me some notes like, no, tell Luke like he's super woke. And he's also just like sexy as hell. Like, I mean, take a look at this and all the other photos of him. He's he's gorgeous. I didn't he just kind of has a bad haircut beard situation going on right.

well here's the thing that beard is his friend because he shaved his beard at one point he is one of those dudes that like he's i mean he's a nice looking guy no matter what but like the beard really works for him i think and i am like so incredibly glad to hear that because i love everything about travis kelsey

But I just have to say, I've, you know, I've put my hand on that stove too many times with athletics, right? I'm excited about, uh, you know, I, I assume that because I like someone's athletic prowess or their personality that then, uh, they and I would somehow in some alternate universe also be aligned on a lot of other things. and then you find out that they're anti-vax or what have you. So I'm tentative about these things, which is why I was trying to protect my heart and assume that Travis Kelsey might have bad takes. But I love to hear that he has good takes because he just seems like a great dude. So that's great. Maybe he can get the fan base to stop doing the Tomahawk chop.

Yeah, that would be... That's a lot of pressure to put on Travis.

I don't know. So, you know, let's – how about we put that on the back of the helmet? Well, they have. They said end racism, but just not as it pertains to the tomahawk chop, I guess.

Hey, Luke, has the NFL ended racism yet? They're trying. Still working on it? Yeah, great organization. Great org.

We are – we're going long today on the show, but I want to tell you that – maybe we can get into it on Monday. Bob Costas is doing some kind of show on HBO, like a sports show, and it's really good. And I only know about it because I was watching that Somebody Somewhere, the Bridget Everett show And so then the next time I turned on my TV It happened to be on HBO And I don't know how long he's been doing this program But the other day he was reading a transcript Of an NFL negotiation from back in some day And he used the F word Like he read the F word Because it was the transcript He read the F word like six times It was scandalizing And he goes, I've been in the journalism game 50 years. The first time I've ever used the F word on the air. But he goes, well, it's HBO. So whatever. It's HBO. Anyway, I was like, and he was having a roundtable where he was talking about sports and labor. And what I was struck by and I thought was really good was the three guests he had on were all black former athletes. Like who are, you know, I would say overrepresented in terms of the people who are affected by these kinds of things. You know, if you look at like the NFL and NBA and things like that, and it was just a really, really good conversation about a topic, but also involving people who are actually it wasn't like it wasn't Peter King from SI. It wasn't just like the usual sports talking all the Bomani Jones was on there and he is a usual sports talking head. But I just thought it was a really smart conversation about an important topic, all helmed by the man-child that is Bob Costas, who's like 100, but looks like he's about 30.

Can I give you a little bit of background on this, a little BG on he? Is that a show title, a little BG on he? The show originally aired on HBO. It was called On the Record with Bob Costas from 2001 to 2004. That morphed into Costas now I don't know what was up with that But then in 2021 HBO announced a revival of the show Now called Back on the Record with Bob Costas So that's probably what you were stumbling on

Ah, yes, Back on the Record with Bob Costas So it did go back

So the roots of this go all the way back to 2001 It was called On the Record with Bob Costas But that's before you and I could afford HBO

Yeah, I wasn't watching it back in the day But I actually started I told HBO to start recording it So I will be checking back in with that program Alright, let's check in with the song suggestion From listener Carrie Which brings us to the end of our broadcast week Thanks for listening everyone Thanks for hanging out with TBTL We will be back here on Monday From the offices of Walsh, Walsh and Dormat In the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington Until then, have a great weekend Stay safe, take care of yourselves And please remember, in a mountain too tall And good luck to all

I was infatuated with an older man, and then I dated a psychopath, so I'm 44 in 2020, and thank God I saved up some money, time to ruin the nightlife, what the fuck was that? Like a shot of good luck I got a puppy and a truck If you feel like giving up Shut up Get a puppy and a truck I don't fuck with Mopar, Tesla

Typically, your defender went and blitzed. What did you see there? How were you able to use that to your advantage? Yeah, so 3D fire zone, brought the nickel off the air, safety drop down. It didn't look like they were doing.

replacement fire zone so i knew in the back of the way we were again three pushing through i had the opportunity to kind of run in there if i could beat my guys just had to beat the safety

to the end zone power out