Muse

Hey Julia, can you say T-B-T-L? L. T.

B.

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Caca. Caca.

T-B-T-L.

Have you ever been vaccinated for chicken pox or measles? This is like a vaccination, but for your brain. It hurts at first. But it makes you better. I was skeptical. It seemed too good to be true. I'm so glad I tried it.

Okay, no sounds, no sounds. Just words. No, I need words, not silence. Just give me words.

His lips are softer than the baked potato I practice on. But just like that potato, he turned out to be rotten. That went slightly better than the worst it could have possibly gone. Things are going to start happening to me now.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. You want to do a make-believe radio show in a room somewhere. I'm telling you, there's no money in that. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I like turtles.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center, right here in beautiful, cold, but beautiful Portland, Oregon.

Oh, ma. Pa, it's just beautiful.

It has been extremely, extremely frigid by local standards the last couple of days. What that's meant, clear skies, stars out at night right now. Beautiful blue, not a cloud in sight. So I think we are well set up here for a Wednesday edition of the program. I'm also feeling extra excited because I get to go see a music concert tonight with my daughter. We're going to see the War on Drugs.

I don't do the druggas! I don't do the druggas! No druggas! No druggas!

So that'll be fun. I don't know if I've been to a concert like that since the pandemic. I've been to a few things, but unless I'm forgetting something, this will be... I mean, I did see the Flaming Lips play when everybody was in Space Bubbles in Oklahoma City, so I guess that kind of counts. But anyway, we are here at episode 3626 in 26 in a collector series let the fun begin and we have got lots to talk about including the question of if it's okay to criticize the television program ted lasso on twitter or maybe more accurately to say something sort of snarky about fans of the television show ted lasso how

dare you people even say that a comedian got on twitter and made a sort of a half joke about not

watching ted lasso and it has created a a real twitter firestorm so we'll talk about that then speaking of possibly regrettable things matthew stafford the quarterback for the los angeles rams has sort of apologized to the photographer who fell off the stage right in front of him at the Rams Super Bowl celebration, which caused him to quickly turn 160 degrees. Wait, 180 degrees. He turned 160. I've measured it. I got a protractor out. He turned 160 degrees and walked it directly away from this injured photographer. I wish I hadn't done that. It was all captured on film, and now he's trying to explain sort of what happened, so we'll get into that as well, plus emails and v-mails. And this guy, the longest-running Cobra of the show, may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's a Cuyahoga clam. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from a basement in the Burgundy Bay District on the west side suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Do you have any idea how much a radio tool kit went for in 1933? Because I'm holding here the 13th anniversary radio catalog issued for the year of trade 1933 by American Sales Company. This was something that belonged to my stepmom's father, who passed away several years back, and now I am in possession of it myself. And it's a catalog with all kinds of stuff. And I'm in the tools section right now. This radio toolkit, Luke, to give you a clue. Because, again, you are guessing the price here. This is the price is right. This contains 10 practical tools designed by men who knew exactly what was required for radio work, all in a very attractive case. Contents are as follows. Luke, this is such small writing. Contents are as follows. three inch screwdriver five inch screwdriver scriber reamer can we say that

Counter rank, plier, center punch, five size socket, five size socket, wrench act for hex nuts, and a socket for all size curled nuts, small end wrench. Is this good? Medium end wrench and large end wrench. How much did all of that go for? Again, the case is attractive. Is this for fixing a radio that somebody would have in their home they would listen to George Allen and Gracie on? Or is this for working at a radio station where you're repairing radio equipment? I believe this is probably all of the above. This catalog has various kinds of short wave radios in it, big like stereo cabinets in it, that kind of stuff. But then also for radio repairmen. It's for people who work in the industry, I think, in some way or another. But also like I'm just in the tools section. Those are all like kind of standard tools that you could use for anything. But this was designed specifically by Mint. Exactly, by men. I'd like to emphasize who knew exactly what was required for radio work. How much was the 10 tools that I just listed? I could list them again. I know that's what the listeners want. By Brendan. An attractive case. How much was all of that? I bet it was $11. Luke, it was $1.95. This is 1933. That's right. How much do you think you can get a dovetail saw for? Dovetail saw, 1933. uh 50 cents 35 cents luke you're you're um you should go on with one i'm learning the game how would you play the one dollar rule if you're doing prices right would it have to be the one cent rule if you're going by 1933 prices yeah sure you mean if you were trying i mean i i don't i mean i don't know if there's any rule against betting one cent can you bet one cent on the prices right or does it have to be in dollar amounts i feel like it was dollar amounts only That's my memory of that show But that would always be My dream if I could be on The Price is Right Would be to do that move Where everyone puts in their bid And then you're the last to go and you say one dollar That is the Price is Right equivalent Of like when Steph Curry shoots a three pointer And then just walks away He doesn't even watch it go in Like when you just go Everyone's been like yelling out I guess it's Drew Carey now And has been for 20 years I still think of Drew Carey as the new host of The Price is Right Like Drew $3,000 Then someone's looking back at their family In from, you know, Autumna, Iowa Wearing loud t-shirts What? Drew, they're saying $1,500 And then you get to the One dollar, Drew And you just take a long drag of your cigarette One dollar, Drew I mean, and then if you're right That's just like the ultimate That's the ultimate price is right boss move As far as I'm concerned Yeah, and ideally when you exhale that smoke It comes out in the shape of a dollar sign Hey let me ask you a question When you make a dollar sign I feel like Marge's sister on the Simpsons would be able to do that

When you make a dollar sign Do you make dollar signs like when you're signing a tip For like a bar tab or a restaurant tab Do you actually Draw the dollar sign in there too Or are you a numbers only fella The dollar sign is implied I do not draw the dollar sign I'd buy that for a dollar I love drawing the dollar sign I draw the dollar sign, and here was my question. If you were a man who drew the dollar sign, I do – you know, I don't rest on my laurels, Luke. I draw the two lines, the two vertical lines through the S. If you're going to do it, you have to do two lines. That's how I feel. One line is – that means a cent, right? A dollar makes me holler, honey, boo-boo. No, a cent is a C with a line through it, a dollar sign. Right, but I'm saying it's a single line for a C. uh yes c with a single line dollar sign s with two lines although a lot of people just put the single line in there luke what people don't care anymore man god bunch of lazy millennials country have slipped so precipitously that's there i'm finally gonna go attack millennials for just drawing one line through the s that's the hill you want to die on that's exactly that looks wrong to me it's got to be too i mean if we learned anything from the shape of richie rich's swimming pool good call right or any kind of uh don't don't they make party glasses where somehow you're looking through the s's i feel like that's a thing although now i can't quite picture it that richie rich swimming pool question would have been good at trivia last night which becca and i went and played and i have to say andrew i got a little bit humbled because i think you know i i think myself as as having a fair amount of trivial knowledge in my brain and and as i've talked about on the show recently becca has a lot of it in her brain so i thought the two of us like what i feel like is if if it was the two of us against um three or four other couples like if we were there was a dinner party and for some reason a game of trivial pursuit broke out i feel like we would really put in a strong showing but we went to this trivia night at a place here in portland called steep doublejack and we were one of the only groups that was just two people everybody else had like 10 people at a big old table so i'm going to i'm going to say that was part of it there was just a larger base of knowledge for some of the teams to draw from but there were a lot of the questions i had just absolutely no earthly idea i did get let's see if you can get this question andrew this is um for some reason why i was reminded of this through the richie rich thing um uh i'm gonna get some part of this wrong so this is going to make it even harder how about this what tv title animal had an owner who was a bumbling architect i left out the owner's name because i'm only half remembering i think his name was wilbur hobbs but what tv title character had an owner who was a

somewhat clumsy architect hmm and you're saying tv i think if it were i don't think john arbuckle was an architect although this is the exact journey that becca and i went on we named uh

Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks, but then we remembered he was actually a record producer. Yep, and Elf is an alien. John Arbuckle is just profoundly depressed.

Well, Elf wasn't the dad. No, no, I was saying, I was trying to think, like, was Elf considered an animal? But no, he was not. Because I would think that, because I do, you know, Elf's not dad, not owner, but the... Willie. Willie. Willie. Willie. I used to do a good Elf. Hey, that was not bad. It's not as good as you used to. Willie. You've got to do it from the diaphragm, and I'm not nailing it. I'm not proud of that. Willie. Anyway, he— I would put that in the top three of your impersonations. Oh, I thought you were going to say of all Elf impersonators. He had a whole radio garage. I had forgotten this. I watched the pilot episode of Elf recently, or at least the beginning of it, when I was testing the TV connection between my computer and the television of an Airbnb I was staying at. And I was like, well, I don't know. I've got to test it with something. Is the pilot episode of Elf available online? Turns out it was. Turns out the TV was great. And I had forgotten. It begins before we meet Elf. You have Willie out in his radio shed where he's got all kinds of radio. I mean, he would have loved this radio catalog. He had a whole shortwave radio thing. He was listening for signals. And then that's when he picks up on an alien spacecraft that ends up carrying Elf. So I don't think he's an architect. And also, like I said, Elf isn't an animal. So I've gotten a slightly off track here.

He's an alien life form.

He's an alien life form. on his home planet was another trivia question oh yeah i know this i know this it's um hold on hold on hold on hold on uh oh oh scott bacula uh hold on wait i know there's gonna be a lot of silence here but i okay uh god damn it not mum not um mumford it's not mumford and sons it's mumford and elves uh god damn it luke i know that gordon shumway there you go take the rest of the day off you need to go lie down I feel like a train was barreling at me like any minute you were going to give me that answer and I just did not want you to okay Gordon Shumway I got there I'm proud of that I'm still in this what cartoon animal who was the titular character of said TV show I'm going to say it was not it was not Heathcliff I don't think we saw Heathcliff's family how long do I have on this by the way is this at all entertaining because I really, really want to nail this or at least give a good effort here. You said you guys ended up getting this one right, correct?

I got this right, and I was quite shocked. I mean, no exaggeration. 90% of the questions we got right were because of Becca. What kind of animal does Ursine describe?

Oh, I know that Ursine. Hold on. I was thinking, can I give you two answers for the animal one? Is it either? Yes. These are long shots. Is it Flipper? No, but I wondered if it was Flipper. Because that's probably – that character – well, of course, that's not a pet. You idiot, Walsh. Was it Lassie?

It's an animal. It's an animal. It's not Lassie. But you're in the right – Benji? No, but these are all really great guesses. And you're generally in the right era of television. Because initially we interpreted the question to be about cartoons. Yeah, but it's not a cartoon, is it? And then we ended up realizing, no, it's not a cartoon because it's a TV show that's named for the animal. And then I had no idea the plot of this show, or at least I had no idea what the owner of the animal did. But I just sort of, I don't know, I used deductive reasoning to get to what I thought was a decent answer. And it turned out I was right. But I was very, very surprised to be right on this one.

I'm going to buy some time here. This is totally cheating, but hopefully it will be somewhat entertaining, your answer to my question while I buy some time here. Did you watch much of Lassie or Benji? They were both TV shows right Yes Did you watch either one Those were my TV shows I don't know the difference Between them And I didn't care for them I didn't watch them I didn't I was never a huge fan

And, I mean, the whole joke with Lassie is that, like, Timmy was always down a well. Yeah. And Lassie always had to run and let the, you know, somebody know about it. Benji, I didn't, I mean, I can picture the dog Benji in my mind, but I couldn't really tell you much about Benji as a character. Flipper gave me, this is what's weird, Flipper gave me a bad feeling, like a kind of sadness, a deep sadness in my soul. One, because I believe it was, at least in the early days, you know, I don't know if Flipper was in black and white or I was watching on a black and white television. But I have a very early childhood memory, Andrew. We had just moved up from the commune in Northern Cal to Seattle. Now, we didn't even have anywhere to live. My parents were still trying to find somewhere to rent. And so we were crashing with this family who were the pastors of the church that we were going to. And we didn't ever have a TV in California, obviously. But this was the first time I'd ever seen someone who, like, had a TV in their house. And they had – it was just like a small black and white set. And I remember – I also didn't go to school. I don't think I think either I was too young or I hadn't been enrolled in school yet, which would prove to be a theme throughout my time as a student, just randomly not going to school for years at a time. But I remember being the only one in this house that we were staying in. And the house itself was just kind of like dark, depressing, didn't have a lot of sunlight. It just that family later would go through a lot of personal trauma and tumult. It is like a house that had kind of bad vibes hanging over it. And I was a little kid But something in my mind Was like There's just something Kind of not great About this place And I remember Being for some reason By myself Another thing that was weird Andrew The people who had Rented this house Before them Had a pet monkey And they still had This whole monkey cage Built behind the house Whoa This is a north gate By the way This is like four blocks

From where Camaro And Anita live No kidding Oh That's not far from my hood either Luke I think though Not to cut you off I think I have an answer here Are you ready for this Can I submit it As an audio answer like not me but like an actual audio answer yes from the internet i don't know if i'm right or not but this is my official answer even though i cheated with flipper and benji and lassie i know this is technically my fourth uh swipe at this but let's pretend it's my first and this is my final answer hello i'm mr red and you my friend are exactly right yes and i promise you i didn't

look it up i didn't look it up i only looked up the song i was going to um play this as the reveal the mr ed theme song from youtube oh yeah that's what i'm mr ed it's like a horse is a horse of

course or something yeah a horse is a horse of course of course and no one can talk to a horse of course there is of course unless the horse is the famous mr ed uh starring alan young oh is that

Is that the architect? And Connie Hines. I'm assuming that, I think maybe that's the bumbling architect, or maybe that's the person who voiced Mr. Ed. But you were absolutely right. Good job. I was very proud of myself because it was, like, I never watched that show. I never knew the plot. The only thing I knew about Mr. Ed was that the story goes that they would put peanut butter on the horse's teeth so that he would then lick it off, and then they could dub the voice over what looked like the horse talking.

And the only thing I know about it is, remember, this whole thing. We've gone on a whole journey with this supposedly old dirty bastard applied for the job of, like, some sort of Mr. Ed reboot at some point.

That guy's dumbest in the bag of hammers at the bottom of a frozen lake. You should be thanking me, buying me carrots and whiskey.

We've gone over this before.

I have no memory of this. I have two minutes. You're telling me Dirt McGirt. Yes. Osiris. God Made Ed and Ed Bust Your Ass. Show title?

That guy was in a Mr. Ed reboot? I don't think he was in, supposedly. And I don't know. I swear we fact-checked this on the show before, and I can't remember where we ended up. But I got two full minutes of lines like that that are supposedly from some sort of an ODB tryout to do the voice of a reboot in Mr. Ed, which I don't believe ever came to any kind of fruition.

I think you must have talked about that on the Andrew Walsh show No, we talked about it on TBTL a while back This is the first I'm hearing about it No, you've forgotten Really? I promise you, yes Okay, well, agree to disagree

We've gone down this journey

How did that not make a bigger impression on me?

You know that I am an ODB head Who originally, was it Rod Stewart Or Tom Waits Who wrote the song Actually, I couldn't even finish that joke downtown train exactly this is a real downtown train situation but again i can't remember the end of the story do you have you fact checked it there is it true uh yes i'm i'm it does appear

that this was a thing uh this is one of the weird i'm reading from

something called uh dangerous minds dot net um and it's uh it's a write-up of let's see that pimply face sack of demon seed odb's apocryphal mr ed audition recording so it's fake this is one of those weird by ways of entertaining uh culture stories that will probably never be cleared up entirely in 2005 an mp3 apparently of old dirty bastards audition tape for the role of a rebooted tv series mr ed surfaced on the essential beware of the blog run by uh wfmu the great radio station in hoboken that's what i'm on now and so uh it sounds like uh though that there's no one's been able to prove this was actually really a thing or just some kind of like a funny idea of what would it be like if odb i i will here's what i would i would like to turn the tbtl 10 hive mind web crawlers loose on I'm sorry about web crawler sounds like a little that sounds a little pejorative I just mean if there's anyone who remembers when we talked about this specifically will you please find that tape because I have no memory of this and it it's amazing to me that my brain would have fully and totally erased this like it partially erases a lot of stuff like who wrote the song downtown train but like completely and totally no memory of this that's that's uh shocking to me particularly considering how big of a place uh old dirty bastard still occupies in my brain now

listen i could be wrong about this part but sometimes when we have conversations like like this i can remember kind of my i have a vague sense of my physical surroundings when we talked about it and i feel like i feel like we've talked about this twice already no joke and i think that once it was in Wallingford, but I also think we've even talked about it since I've been in the Roosevelt District. So I'm going to say that the last time this came up was sometime in the last, how long have I been there? Four years now? Sure. Anyway, for whatever that's worth. I'm Googling this right now. I'm trying to find out if there's something TBTL, old, dirty bastard, Mr. Ed. Doesn't seem like the type of thing I'd put in a description. It seems like it's a tangent, not a topic. I think this is something you've talked about with Genevieve.

I think you talked about it on your friend's Old Dirty Bastard podcast. I mean, I have this.

The tape is in my TVTL audio folder.

Like, I guarantee it. That's a strong argument.

Guarantee it. All right.

That's a strong argument. The listeners who remember the segment in however many times it's occurred are having a, as we call it, throw your phone moment, which is funny, Andrew, because I'm having that right now with the Howard Stern show.

Yeah.

Which I listen to on a pretty regular basis. So, you know, I've been really into that TV show, Somebody, Somewhere. Yeah. As it's still holding up Because that's being released one week at a time Yeah exactly I just want to make sure I'm getting it right I always vacillate between calling it the slightly wrong name It is called Somebody Somewhere It's on HBO And I think it's just really good It's a really winning show It's very heartfelt It's produced by the Duplass brothers Which makes a lot of sense now Because they have a great facility I think for sort of telling stories of people Who might seem sort of unremarkable from afar But you kind of realize that everybody's got a story everybody's on their journey um so howard stern has gotten into the show but his whole story on bridget everett is he met her at a party years ago and was talking to her and she was talking about how she's a waitress and he enjoyed the conversation with her and then when he was leaving or at some point later when he was talking to his wife about it she said oh well she's a act she's an actor and a comedian and a cabaret performer and this was filed away in howard stern's brain as she was goofing on me she was like just kind of like making she was pranking me and just because like maybe she doesn't like me because of my radio like he spun out into this whole theory about why bridget everett was lying to him and what's killing me is bridget everett very famously was waiting tables up until pretty recently no i see because you know she was not a profess she was a waitress who also had a cabaret show it turns out you know playing joe's pub in new york once every couple months is not you can't retire on that and so what he doesn't understand and what no one has told him yet and what i mean the other problem is i'm listening like two or three days behind so even if i were to like call in and say like please correct this i mean maybe it's been corrected i don't know about it again this is a very tbtl listener experience right people are always emailing us about stuff as they hear it unfolding on the show not realizing that a day later or an hour later or an hour into the show further will have gotten to the right answer but it's killing me right now because i just wanted to pick up the phone this morning and call them and go she was probably actively a waitress when you were talking to her at that party she only stopped being a waitress a few years ago i swear it was as recently as last week that i

still received an email from Thank you. somebody who has a theory about what song you were thinking of that that tiktok video reminded you of that that piano rendition of it and i don't have the email in front of me but i'm pretty sure they still trickle in and i'm my guess is i will continue to get them for the next at least month

or so which is an interesting listen no judgment no no no no yeah but it's an interesting well let me finish i was going to say zero judgment to anybody who's this is your listening pattern But it's interesting that somebody would have heard enough of the show to know that this thing was going on, but now not enough of the show to know it's been resolved. So that's somebody who's kind of like bobbing and weaving with the program.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Maybe. So, oh, you're right. There can't be that long of a tale on this because if you're consistently listening, that period was only two weeks. You're right. So actually my – maybe you're right then that that last one I got was probably the last one. yeah good point good point hopefully but no there are probably people who listen and then they're

just like they get distracted with their life and they never they may never know how any of these things end yeah so it's true anyway if you can give us more is there something else that we're trying to is there some other mystery in our yes there is it's that it's that um it's that drop

it's the origins of the no shame drop yes never dropped my eyes to another mortal i swear to god

But if that was an interview about the old dirty bastard, Mr. Ed, that would actually tie up a couple of different loose threads for me that I'd really appreciate that. So please get at us. If you have any more information on this, Andrew at TBTL.net or Luke at TBTL.net and and help shed some light on the situation. All right. Let's take a quick break. Then when we come back, we'll talk about the Ted Lasso backlash and also Matt Stafford's sort of apology coming up here on TBTL. hello and welcome to top story all right uh let's get into this ted lasso situation i don't know if you were aware of this stuff that was going on andrew it is it's one of those things on twitter that's a big deal in twitter land but it hasn't as i can tell bubbled up to like a think piece in vulture yet yeah i would be unsurprised if it ends up there at some point well not to get

ahead of ourselves here but the funny thing is is I saw you had this on the show sheet without a link just this idea of this topic so I did a really quick google and I typed in Ted Lasso fans and I found one blog entry from somebody who's deep in the Ted Lasso verse somebody who's writing first person as a self-identified Ted Lasso super fan who was who kind of did a little bit of a roundup of this original tweet and some of the backlash and that was all I could find on it here was the one thing that is i don't know just scratching the surface of maybe slightly interesting if you're really having a boring day but the funny thing is is once i saw this original tweet i'm like oh yeah i saw that somebody i follow retweeted that at some point like that that passed you know that passed by my eyes in the stream at some point and i didn't think i didn't think twice about it you know there's so there's so much shit that just goes out there yet this little thing that i didn't

think twice about it has created a bit of a stir apparently yeah so Megan Beth Coaster is a comedian and she just wrote a tweet this was February 19th that just said I've never seen an episode of Ted Lasso but its fans have big quote childless adult whose entire personality is predicated on their love of Disneyland and quote energy and I also saw that when it went around and I can't remember having a big thought on it one way or the other i did sort of i think i noted it because i also started watching ted lasso and i enjoyed it i think i got maybe four or five episodes in i found it to be generally enjoyable but i also it was a victim of the hype for me by the time i got to watching ted lasso i had heard that it cured cancer i'd heard that if you watched it it would go it would actually go into your body and repair any cellular damage or family trauma or anything else because that's how good the show was and of course it's impossible for a show to live up to that so i i merely found it to be sort of entertaining and then i didn't get much past three four episodes with it um so when i see people it's such a it's so sacred as an idea ted lasso that i have to say when i saw somebody kind of slightly roasting the show or the fans of the show i noted it because i was like oh boy that's uh people don't really do that these days but boy oh boy did that tweet take off it's been uh it's been quoted a bunch of times and liked a bunch of times but really what's happened is the comment section of the tweet has become a real battleground for mostly people who are very uh offended that that that this comedian is criticizing and again it's really ted lasso fans that was something i saw people pointing out was It's not. it's because this she's not watched the show so she's not saying i don't like this show that you like she's saying you seem like a loser to me if you like this show it's kind of what's in there and that's where i think probably the tweet is maybe not the greatest because it's okay to you know not like things but this isn't even really a criticism of the program this is a criticism of the people who like the program and they're not taking it lying down they're all in the they're all in the comments then you've got people defending megan beth uh coaster as you know she's like she's not allowed to just write something on her own timeline about something she thinks is silly like everyone's got to come for her then you've got other comedians weighing in saying well twitter's a public forum and so if she she's trying to get attention as a comedian by writing these tweets and so you can't claim that like it's not fair when they get the attention even if it's negative attention and then ken bone weighed in andrew do you remember who ken bone

yes ken bone was the um the guy who was at the it wasn't even a debate right it was a presidential town hall and he got to ask a question and everybody like or maybe yeah he asked a question but i think he was catching everybody's eye anyway because he was wearing a red sweater and he just looked like kind of a like kind of a far side character almost in his innocence but And then immediately somebody found something he wrote on Reddit one time that was slightly not as innocent. And then he was just like grist for the mill. Yeah, right. Exactly. I forgot about that phrase, but I like it.

But it's so funny because I was just like scrolling through all these comments last night. And again, they're mostly people who, well, they sort of fall into a few different categories. One category is explaining that you like Ted Lasso, but you do have children. so you're not childless adults then it's people who don't have children who are upset that childless adult is being used as kind of a uh a you know a pejorative a criticism that's a big part of it then there are the adult disney fans who are mad that adult disney fan is being used as kind of an insult um and then again you've got some comedians who are like defending megan probably they know her in real life and then uh then you got ken bone the guy we remember from the sweater going it's like she blasphemed against their god or something as jokes go this is a pretty mild one to be getting so worked up over uh by the way ken bone has a blue check mark andrew i do not have a blue check mark a lifetime a lifetime spent serving up piping hot daily content to the people has got has not earned me a blue check mark but you ask one question at a presidential forum in a red sweater and you get a blue check mark i mean we don't have to go down this road

again but that is astounding every now and then i think huh i mean i feel like there are people who have less public jobs than me who have blue check marks i'm thinking of people in my own life no offense to them but certainly you like i mean you did something at some point like remember when it was a bit of a wasn't that a theory of yours a long time ago that you rubbed somebody the wrong way who might have been part of that program which is probably you know long long long past but like it and then they kind of de-emphasize the whole blue check mark thing for a while so i think a lot of the blue check marks are maybe somewhat legacy now and maybe it doesn't matter but like it does not make sense that you don't have one given your platforms i think ken jennings

didn't have one yeah he may have one now but he was i believe well past his like jeopardy record setting and he didn't have one for some reason I remember being what I've noted is all the people way more famous than me and with way more followers who didn't have blue check marks yes and I have to say misery loves company it always kind of helped me helped me fall asleep at night knowing that there were people who had an even stronger case for why they should have a

blue check mark I don't care you know I don't think that I necessarily deserve one I don't really care much but I will be honest with you and I think I've admitted this to you on the show before i did apply for one once because there's a way you could submit it and i did that specifically because i really wanted to troll you i thought it would be really really funny if i i mean how good of a bit would that have been if i had come on tbtl one day and i said luke check out my twitter and i had a blue check mark before you that would have been hilarious maybe hurtful to you but it also none of this shit matters so who cares i'll tell you what ken jennings is very blue

checkmarked at this point he's probably got two of them right he's got three yeah he's got the record for most blue check marks uh what i wrote on myum have that's what i want to know i was i was proud of the fact that i put this tweet together which is getting limited engagement because it's it's it's too many layers of jokes but i said if you had the ken bone weighing in on the bad ted lasso tweet parlay over at draft kings i have some very good news um because who would have seen that coming um but it just felt very that felt like a very 2022 kind of online interaction between somebody who wrote a tweet that everyone's or not everyone but a lot of people were offended by or upset by. And then somebody else who was famous for their 15 minutes in the spotlight is now back and checking in on that. I'm sure that Ken Bone – in fact, I know for a fact he's on Cameo. If you would like to hire him, you can do that right over there. But what did you think? Now, having seen the tweet and whatever, I mean, what's your take on it?

Well, I have three things I'd like to say here. Actually, I have some notes. First of all, I don't think anybody is being especially inappropriate here. You know, it's not my brand to go after people over or even make a joke. You could say it's mean-spirited, but I just consider this somewhat snarky. That's my website, somewhat snarky. But, you know, it's kind of a snarky little joke. It makes me laugh as somebody who, like you, I haven't even watched an episode. Although, I would like everybody to give us credit. We used intro tape of Ted Lasso long before it was a TV show. So when it was – this started as an advertising campaign for I think some new soccer league when it was coming to the States, right? And they invented this character board. Well, no.

I think it was NBC's coverage. Or NBC's coverage of it, yeah.

Of Premier League soccer or European soccer. I have that original tape somewhere. I don't have to play it here. But anyway, that's how it started. Then it became a TV show after this thing went viral. But anyway, you know, it's not my brand to make fun of people over something that they like, but it's also not my brand to get offended by somebody who makes a joke at a fan base that I might be a part of, in other words. And I don't think anybody is, like, trying to cancel any – like, there's no dire circumstances. One person made a snarky joke and other people are saying, hey, I don't like that. And, you know, that's what Twitter's for. It doesn't seem like anything's getting super nasty here. Having said that, I will say that if you're one of the people who's kind of like a little bit harrumphing about this, especially publicly online, you're kind of telling on yourself. You're kind of playing into it too much. You're kind of proving the point a little bit. But, you know, again, if somebody is allowed to go on Twitter and make a little Barbie joke about you and your fan base, then you're allowed to go online and say, hey, I don't think this is accurate and you're hurting my feelings a little bit. The thing that I've really been mulling over that I can't – the nut that I can't quite crack on this, of course, comes back to me personally. And I think I've done this with similar topics before, but I like to try to be really honest with myself, right? And I'm trying to put myself in the position of being part of a fan base that would be offended by a joke aimed at me and my fellow fans. and I am thin-skinned I am so thin-skinned but as much as I try I cannot think of anything that I'm a fan of that I would be somewhat personally offended by if somebody made especially if it was a funny joke and I think this is kind of a funny joke like that if they were making fun of something that I loved like from Game of Thrones which by the end I don't think anybody really loved it by the end but like i was really into that but you could make all kinds of jokes about game of thrones fans like that that's fine with me like you know what was it a month ago i don't remember what the publication was but somebody wrote like here's the worst thing about your favorite dad band or whatever and everybody was sending it to us because they're like hey bands that you like are on this list i'm like yeah but like i don't care you know what i mean like it's just funny like is there anything that you i i don't think so luke and i'm not trying to make it sound like you and I are above it all but like is there anything that you that you're a fan of that you hold so dear that if somebody came along like is the Howard Stern show if somebody came along and said something that just made it sound like if you like the Howard Stern show you're just a knuckle dragger and you don't get it at all and you're so close to it you're like hey no me and a couple of my other friends who actually have a head on our shoulders enjoy this because there's more going on to this community than you realize or there's more going on into this entertainment product than you realize is there anything that you would be offended by well that's an interesting

example because since howard stern has kind of been very strongly um supportive of the vaccine and mask mandates and tony fauci places like the new york post and other like kind of more right wing outlets have the narrative has become that like howard stern is unpopular that no one listens to the show that he is just kind of this like sad old man and when i see like i'll see him trending sometimes and i'll see an article and it's that's not even about his fans that's about him but i'll always just be like boy did you ever miss the point on this one you know reviewer at or just it's really more like opinion writer at the federalist or something you know like somebody gateway pundit or whatever somebody who's just like they just are against whatever they see as quote-unquote woke woke culture so sometimes i'll have that reaction specific to that show But I haven't, maybe Patriot Maybe if somebody said People who like Patriot is a certain kind of white dude Who thinks he's discovering things That no one, he's the kind of guy I don't know, I'm trying to construct something that would seem Maybe because Patriot is so

boutique if somebody said i get big listens to wilco and thinks they're still relevant um it puts a hair powder so they look less bald energy off of the wow that's so i mean that'd

be like this is that i mean is this that calls coming from inside the house honestly if that's the tweet is that a microaggression no no that's just a very very specific aggression yeah but i I mean, I feel like if somebody nailed it that hard, OK, like let's take off the laser baldness helmet because that's very specific. But like you're right. Like if somebody said people who love Patriot and think they are their first one to discover it are unreachable right now because they're in a war on drugs concert. Like you'd be like – you'd be like, all right, you got me. Yeah, you got me, right? Like I'm just – and I'm not – the thing is – and this is why I'm saying this. I promise you, dear listener – I'm talking directly to the listeners now, Luke. I promise you I'm not trying to make this argument saying I'm above it all. I think there is an example out there. Because I'm so thin-skinned, I think there is an example out there. I just can't think of it. And then I started thinking about – It's like pornography. You'll know it when it's tweeted at you. I'll know it when I'm crying in the bathroom. I was thinking about – That's how that goes for you? I was thinking – well, whatever the closest quiet room is. I was thinking maybe the closest thing would be TBTL because that would be like, you know, if somebody went after our community, that would obviously feel incredibly personal to me. So in order to kind of short-circuit that, I've come up here with a list of 50 insults for TBTL listeners. Are you ready? No, just joking. But anyway, I mean, I guess that's the closest thing, but I don't think that that's a fair comp because, you know, I mean, it's what you and I do. It's our thing, and our listeners feel like our friends, and so that would be just so incredibly personal.

well the other thing i would say that the the kind of like slightly snarky tweet that every once in a while hits me a little wrong or that i do actually kind of go oh okay is the something about like is basically about podcasting is about this idea of like and particularly if it's like you know two white get two white guys together and you'll have a podcast because of course it's both accurate but in a way to me it feels like i think probably that the part of me that's insecure or the part of me that's sensitive around like one out of 10 of those jokes right and i feel like it's often made by uh it's usually made by a somebody who in my experience a lot of those tweets are made by women and i think it's my guess would be because they've been subjected to so much annoying bullshit from people in their lives who have podcasts where it's like there's a certain kind of uh comedy tweet about basically making fun of podcasters and particularly guy podcast which is what we are and i think the reason sometimes it hits me wrong is because this really is our job and we really do like put you know a lot of effort into it despite uh what it sounds like like and so it's like it's both a funny joke because it's true because like everyone's starting podcasts all the time but i sort of feel like you and i are in sort of our in a slightly different category because just really as a job we really do it five days a week whether or not it's a day that we're feeling in spot you know it feels a little more workman like to me when we do it and again none of that is vouching for the quality of the program i'm just saying it's it feels like that's a joke about your jabroni friends who decided they wanted to do some silly podcast that then they did two episodes of or that you know like and we're doing something different i think so every once in a while a tweet that's being kind of dismissive of people having podcasts, particularly chatty podcasts like ours are, Andrew, I'd say one out of five times I kind of go, ooh, that hurt a little bit, but not to the degree that I would ever go and comment on the person's tweet or make a case out of it.

Yeah, even that, I'll be honest with you, those don't get me too much because they either fall into two categories. Number one, well, maybe three categories. Maybe I'll be like, yeah, that's probably true for a lot of podcasts out there, and I guess I'm part of that, and I just don't care. number two usually those are just so tired like podcasting jokes are just so tired so i've never like really seen one that's like oh that really cut me to the quick it's just like yeah i know a lot of dudes in podcasting a lot of know-it-alls sometimes i'm like that too like whatever like you're also just not the first person to say that and it's just not that clever it's 2022 um so i gotta say even that stuff i'm thinking of one one one tweet one time about public radio podcasting um that i remember somebody tweeting i'm like wow you really don't listen to many public radio podcasts or your your perspective on this is very very warped but that was somebody who actually who we once knew personally and i felt like if they were sub-tweeting us so like

that's not even a good example i don't even was it old dirty bastard it was luke we talked to

about this he said you're dumber than the bag of hammers tbtl um that was my odb not as good as my elf i'm gonna say you gotta go from the diaphragm i love i love an elf reboot where it's odb and

willie was just out listening to the radio and he just heard some wu-tang on like some you know long wave radio signal coming out from a different state and he's just like what is this i don't really have a willie impression and then next thing you know odb shows up willie is exasperated

i don't think i can do an imitation but he's elf no that's not great but it's it's terrible it's just like it's just he's always exasperated he's always ready to take his glasses off and wipe his eyes with the palm of his hand you know that's that guy passed away recently by the way oh no really yeah oh i didn't i honestly didn't know that so anyway that's it that's my um that's my 15 minutes on this somewhat mean-spirited tweet, although I think when I saw it in passing, I probably grinned a little bit, but that's not to take away anybody's fun of it. You know me, I'm not somebody who says, hey, if you like this entertainment product, especially such a wholesome one, like, do it to it. Love it up. Like, great.

You know. My buddy Elena Passarello from LiveWire, I don't think she made this up, but she was the first person I'd heard say it, and she was like, oh, I don't mean to yuck your yum. Oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, I like that that's a good reminder because it's like just generally speaking and i i have been guilty of this thousands of times on this program on twitter other places um of yucking people's yums but i as i'm getting older i think i'm moving in the direction of just kind of thinking ah what's the point of yucking someone's yum yeah like just generally like people like what they like and i don't know why i mean maybe if i think the thing that they like is actively hurting america We're talking about a political ideology or a misogynistic, you know, podcast or programming or something like maybe it's like Kid Rock is an entertainment product, but it's so associated with such a disgusting point of view of the world. And so, yeah, maybe there's an argument that if there's enough, I mean, I don't think this probably holds up, but if there's enough pushback on certain things like that or Ted Nugent or whatever, it like somehow moves the needle. Again, I don't think it does, because if you love Kid Rock, there's nothing more fun than, quote-unquote, owning the libs. So me tweeting out something about not liking Kid Rock is only confirming for the Kid Rock fans that it's working when he flies on a rocket shaped like a phallus and is shooting a machine gun or whatever he's doing. That being said, generally speaking, we're talking about something like Ted Lasso. If we're talking about a TV program or band or whatever, something that's just, as we say, not for me particularly. I don't know if there's enough upside to yucking someone's yum to play in that space anymore. In fact, I like to yum people's yucks. Ooh. Is that when you're crying in the bathroom? Don't worry. I'll beep it out. Yummyyucks.org. I was slightly yucked out when Matt Stafford, the quarterback for the LA Rams, walked away from a photographer who had fallen off a stage during their Super Bowl celebration and we were we talked about on the show and then we also sort of talked about when we thought Matthew Stafford would have to say something about this and I was wondering if he might be able to just kind of like ride it out until football season starts again because for these pro athletes well particularly for football players the only time they really have to go sit in front of a microphone is when it's football season and I believe their contracts Usually Like state that you have to be Available for the media Because a lot of these players would rather Not if they if they could get out of it But the teams and the NFL know That them being available for the media Generates more interest and that generates more TV revenue Etc so anyway I was Guessing he wouldn't say anything but in fact he Has said something Andrew because He and his wife have a podcast

Yeah there are two times There are two times when a football player Has to talk to the press It's during football season Or when their spouse has a podcast

Right, and the irony of me Kind of exasperating with saying Because they have a podcast Is a version of the joke I just said Hurts my feeling one out of ten times So Matthew Stafford's wife Has I believe his wife is named Kelly And also the person who injured themselves Was named Kelly The photographer was named Kelly Smiley This is Kelly Stafford, though, who has a podcast called The Morning After And they decided to talk about the incident on the show Now, I have to say, as far as driving some engagement with the show I mean, our thoughts go out to the photographer And she appears to be alright, although she did have a fractured spine Which doesn't sound like it's a small thing

but boy, this is a pretty good way to get some attention to your podcast. Have something captured on TV that makes you look really bad. Everyone's wondering when you're going to say something about it, and then you conveniently have a platform to go talk about it a week later.

Right, exactly, and that's the thing, and before I get into analyzing this, I guess you should maybe explain what is said, but it all seems... Have you heard the actual tape of the podcast? It just occurred to me that I've only read, like, the relevant quotes from the podcast. Have you actually heard the audio of them talking about this?

I didn't because, to be totally honest, now remember, this is the guy, me, I'm that guy. I'm the guy I'm talking about. This is the guy who regularly comes on this show and talks about how all podcasts should be longer, not shorter. but i genuinely did not feel like oh yeah needle dropping through an hour of matthew and kelly stafford talking about whatever they talk about to get to the two sentences that were relevant to this so i've also not listened to it i just have the transcript here by way of the new york post

yeah i think i read the same thing i think you sent it to me so it seemed like kind of like nothing to me basically and it just sort of seemed like well i gotta say these things like you know i will say one thing i got an email from somebody who was like kind of upset about our I was really surprised. I don't – I don't think I can find it now. It wasn't – you know what? It might have even been on Slack. But somebody was like kind of upset by our take on it that like we're judging somebody by such a – and I don't know if this was a fan of the person or not. Again, I think a lot of people were kind of inspired by Stafford's journey and him being kind of just a – kind of a good player to fans and putting up with a lot when he was in Detroit. And so I think there's like a lot of loyalty around him as a football player, which I get. And I didn't think they were especially hard on him. And I also understand, like, judging somebody on, like, about six seconds of tape, eh, you know, I understand that there's more context to things, so I guess I don't want to fall on that sword too much. But there is something about body language. Like, we do see what his body language seems to say. We know what it looks like when somebody is concerned or shocked. And the nonchalance of him turning his back seemed to be pretty damning to me. maybe we went a little bit far as far as like extrapolating his entire personality from these six seconds but i will say these six seconds did not show me from what i know of body language and human nature over the course of my 40 45 years this didn't seem to exude somebody who really

cared about other people right and as i said when we initially talked about it what you had in this particular scenario which is rare is an exact side-by-side comparison of two people's behaviors because it wasn't just he's on stage by himself something happens and he walks away and you think well maybe he wasn't able to actually see this as clearly as we could on the video or whatever he was exactly he was three inches from his wife his wife's reaction was to go straight for the person his reaction was to turn as i said earlier 160 degrees and walk almost directly away from But just about 20 degrees off So we had the side by side So we know what they both saw And we know how one person reacted and how the other didn't And this apology or whatever What it feels like to me is And to whoever wrote in and said they didn't like our take I haven't seen that email Much like Megan, Beth, Coaster Who hasn't seen Ted Lasso I haven't seen that email but I'm willing to say they're wrong No I just like This feels to me like Kelly Stafford seems like actually strikes me as a pretty thoughtful caring person and Matt Stafford I don't know what he's like in his real life with his family I don't know what he's like as a teammate I just know in this very moment it didn't exude a caring nature and now this podcast thing seems to be trying to do some reputational repair like so his wife says in the podcast we can't not talk about what happened there was a photographer who stepped back off the stage and asked if we we wanted a picture and I was like yes because looking back at my camera roll I have literally literally zero pictures of Matthew and I so that's what was happening the photographer is actually taking a picture of the two of them this is still a Kelly Stafford talking when she offered she stepped back and fell and it was an awful awful moment Matthew looked at me and said check her please and turned around his wife continued now I will tell you I didn't listen to the podcast Andrew but I watched that video like a goddamn Zapruder i will over and over and to try to figure out if i could tell what he said he did say something to her his wife matt stafford did say something to kelly stafford as he turned i can confirm that so i i have to assume that that was what he said check her please again to me a very weird response yeah that just doesn't and i didn't check her please i said i'm off i said yeah I don't know. before i i was watching like it was a pruder film a couple of weeks ago or whenever this happened i didn't re-watch it today but i just remember really focusing on again his body language and and you know again i guess you could say hey this is i don't like it when people take photographs and then extrapolate a lot from them because a photograph is such a i mean it's a microsecond um but this is gives you a little bit more context and you know again i'm willing to say i could be wrong about this but like you just don't see any tension you just like doesn't he take a swig he turns around i remember i remember focusing on his left hand i believe his right hand's got a

water bottle and he kind of just like he mumbles something and he's kind of nonchalantly takes a swig from his water bottle and his left hand is just hanging by his side like there's no there's literally no like even walking to the edge of the stage and looking he just was kind of like that happened that was just the vibe i got you know and i guess i guess you can say he said checker please i frankly doubt that but you know whatever i also would like to say here sorry you know i'll say it at the end go ahead finish finish saying what they said on the podcast right well so

she says uh that when they got into the car later this is still kelly stafford uh talking um uh he supposedly matthew she says i'll just read it we followed up with her the moment we got in the car matthew actually looked at me and said hey will you contact the rams and ask how she's doing And I did that and they're like We think she's going to be okay We sent her flowers And the next day we wake up And it's not okay And I think what she's referring to there Is the like backlash against what he did But it also My takeaway from this is I think Kelly Stafford seems like a nice person I don't know Matt Stafford again But he seems a little jaded And do you really think they got in the car After celebrating the Super Bowl He's played 13 seasons or 12 seasons in the NFL 11 of them in detroit you know kind of throwing into the abyss uh which is my nickname for galvin johnson no i mean for many years just like suffering galvin johnson was great actually

i know i know but still though it's a pretty good pretty good joke thank you i'll take it

but the like i'm i would be very surprised if when they got in the car the most pressing thing on matthew stafford's mind was please check on that photographer who who i just walked away from when I watched them fall like that makes no sense that just doesn't doesn't make any sense and feels to me like this is an attempt to make him somehow seem kind of a little less checked out than he was now maybe he's just having a bad day or something again I don't think it's fair to like develop an entire theory about Matt Safford as a human being on planet earth from this but let's just say this was not a super great moment for him um and then uh let's see she also points out that matthew actually texted her the photographer himself following the incident so again it just

all feels like and i believe that after it blew up i think everything else they're saying up until this point is total bullshit i don't believe a word they're saying but i also want to say i don't think there should be any repercussions other than you know i'm glad he and the team are paying for the medical stuff i think that's a nice gesture and both him and the entity have so much money yes that's a good thing to do they're doing that that's but like i want to make it clear i think everything they are saying on this podcast is a complete lie and i'd also like to make it clear i don't care i don't think he should stop playing football i don't think he should be traded i don't think he should be reprimanded i don't think there should be any more conversation about this like it's fine i also think they're lying yeah i i i can't imagine

that somebody who watches another human being fall backwards off of an elevated stage onto concrete and then takes a swig of their water and says check on her is then hours later going to get into the car and have their primary thought be oh wow can you please please please you know what driver don't take us to our um west lake village estate please head over to cedar sinai i need to check on this photographer like again we've all established that russell wilson would have done that Russell Wilson would have grabbed the photographer against medical advice hoisted her onto his back and ran directly to the hospital that's what Russell Wilson would do but that's not really apparently how Matt Stafford is wired and I'm kind of with you Andrew this whole thing seems like they're just trying to kind of like get people to lay off Matt Stafford on the internet and I also agree with you that he should not be like in trouble for this to the degree that he like there's a question of if he continues to be your quarterback or something now here's the thing the apology so matt stafford then on the podcast he himself now it's finally time for matt stafford to talk and this is his apology i mean that obviously happened really quickly and suddenly and unexpectedly and i wish i had a better reaction in the moment all right yeah yes i mean yes you know yes then also this is this is so quarterbacky this is so this is the most football answer i've ever heard to something he He said that he apologized to Smiley over his reaction. He added one more thing. Quote, it's one of those things you try to train your reactions to be a little bit better next time. Is he talking about someone fracturing their spine or is he talking about trying to read the defense? Is he talking about trying to get the ball out of his hand quicker on a slant route to Cooper Cup? That's a football-y ass answer.

The next time somebody just stubs their toe, he's going to be like on both knees with his hands thrown up to the heavens screaming, why? Why would this happen to an innocent person?

It's one of those things, Andrew, where you just try to train your reactions to be a little bit better next time.

That's right. You know what? In that moment, I wasn't giving it 110%, and that's what I need to do going forward. I want to say one thing here. I'm a little bit bummed. Somebody sent in such a nice note, but then at the end said that I probably shouldn't read it on the air. But I don't think you can arm me with something like that and then not let me refer to it at all on the podcast that you're writing into. So I will paraphrase here. but somebody who um was i believe a ta in some class that russell wilson attended the person didn't want to make the class sound didn't want to undermine the program but while he was actually in college and of course a star he always played quarterback right russell wilson in college was

he a quarterback as well yeah he was a quarterback he was he went to uh wisconsin and north carolina

Hey, I wonder if he played baseball too. That never comes up in the broadcast. I'll look that up later. But anyway, somebody wrote in and said, hey, I was a TA in a class he was in. And this class he was in was known for being kind of a blow off class for football players, like easy to just kind of come in and just like get the grade and get out of there. And this person said, like, he was a star. Like, talk about big man on campus. I'm kind of paraphrasing here. But, you know, you couldn't ask for, like, kind of a bigger star student on campus. But then he's coming in and engaging and asking questions and raising his hand. Like, he really was just in and being just, like, nice and amiable and, like, actually taking the class seriously. Like, again, I know Russell Wilson can be kind of, like, dorky and do all that football talk and everything. but like i think that he's just like a legit good person even though i'm not saying that i would necessarily want to hang out with him i think he's kind of the real deal and just to go back to that comparison of what it would have been like if russell wilson was on that stage i think you would have seen real compassion even if it was only for two seconds and then he said okay it looks like you're taken care of like i don't think that it would have been a show i think that he would have just acted like a human and in this case and matthew steffert didn't and again i want to be clear i'm not extrapolating from that and maybe i maybe i went too hard on this last time i'm not extrapolating that he's a terrible person maybe he is i don't know maybe there's other evidence of that i just don't care that much but like i'm just saying don't don't poop in my mouth and call it a sunday like we all saw what happened there whoa yeah i know i got real yeah i know

sorry god that is a such i mean i've heard don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining and while

i wouldn't want to have that happen either wait oh i thought you were just surprised that i said that first of all i cleaned that up i thought you were joking about me saying you've never heard that expression no oh it's a common expression yeah no i need to go lie down this cleveland

going back to cleveland is really bringing out the dirty side of you i think that's it i think that's in bad santa well that would make sense yeah i don't like that movie that's famously blue but i've always heard don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining that's better i wish i'd said that i don't love that but it's like i wouldn't i wouldn't have to go lie down for the rest of the week yeah if someone peed on my leg well you know my this is okay that one is actually my mouth i'm done i'm not probably taking pto for at least two weeks that one is crude and i don't

like and i kind of wish i hadn't said it but there's another one that is kind of equally crude and it's very uh similar that i'm going to repeat again here that i've said on the show before this one my dad's expressions that he said i i think i only heard him say it once like 25 years ago or more but it's stuck because it's so evocative and i love it so much but when somebody's like kind of mumbly or you can't understand what they're saying you say all right they sound like a shit salesman with a mouthful of samples i love i love that expression so much see that

one is okay because we don't know who shit it is probably it's theirs i see in this one you're actually it's fact that somebody else has somehow gotten sure somebody has tricked me into letting them crap in my mouth all right like what was the what was the pitch did we don't make it worse we're gonna do a surprise where okay this is gonna be a fun game but what you have to do is sit on the ground blindfolded with your mouth open okay i gave you a sunday really this doesn't taste like a sunday and then you realize i've been i fell for it again here i go once again with the email

Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, emails or V-mails before we get out of here. What do you have going on the rest of the day? Any fun Ohio?

adventures scheduled for today um yes today is actually my sister's blurs day and she still is here in the cleveland area so we have um all kinds of relatives coming over later this oh right this kind of early evening late afternoon early evening i believe to have a uh pizza and fried chicken and to uh celebrate the blurs of my sister and to see a bunch of aunts and uncles whom i have not seen In a really long time Had a dream about it last night I won't go into details But yeah I'm looking forward to seeing everybody Although I'm also

Involved to Sunday

You know I have a little bit of social anxiety Around these things Whenever you haven't seen folks in a really long time So I just really hope that My sister's birthday takes most of the attention As opposed to the prodigal son

How would you feel if they say Well Andrew it's been a lot of years And of course we've missed a lot of birthdays So we decided to just make you a huge cake And we're all going to sing happy birthday and we'd like to sit you at this table. This would make good for 15 years of missing these. It's funny.

I was showing my folks those photos because you're referring to a photo of me. I was just looking at it and it's my fifth birthday or my seventh birthday maybe. And it's a lot of these same folks who are coming over and a bunch of my cousins and stuff back in the early 80s and they're all singing happy birthday to me in front of an amazing three-dimensional cake that represented my grade school, I believe, that somebody had made and I am just jamming my hands over my ears as everybody smiles and sings happy birthday to me. And I told my dad, I'm like, if you were to sing happy birthday to me today, I wouldn't do this on the outside, but on the inside I'd be doing the same thing. So you're getting ahead of me. Yeah, exactly. I just try to have a slightly better poker face these days. I don't like attention on me. I really don't. The weird thing to say is I'm literally holding a microphone. Okay, so we know that Gus has a grudge against you. We heard that voicemail yesterday, so we can skip that one. Well, no, beef squashed. Oh, because you made the, well, you made kind of a quasi. Well, because he's clarified. If I offended you, if I offended any Gusses, then I apologize. No, I just said I'm going to try to work on my reaction time. I said I'm just going to try to train my reactions to be a little bit better next time. Yeah, exactly. Banana Joe. Banana? Now I'm messing it up. You can hold a grudge against me now.

I thought he said Banana Jones, and I believe he said Banana Joe.

Good. And I got the banana part right. So that's a win for old Andrew here on a Wednesday. Andrew W. Wednesday. Andrew W. Wednesday. Okay, so I just have two quick voicemails to play for you here, both from the same person. This is Ned. We had some kids calling in last week, I think, workshopping some jokes. Things got dark. But somebody else wanted to workshop some jokes here. I'm going to workshop saying workshop. Take it away, Ned.

Hello, I am Ned Fludge, here to workshop a joke. Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker? He got a Nobel Prize.

Power out. That's pretty good. I'd forgotten. I knew I had these jokes lined up, but I pulled them from the voicemail line last week. That's pretty good. I want to remember that one for tonight. One more here from Ned.

Hello, I'm Gus Floggy here to workshop a joke. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

i gotta say they're both good i like them both um i don't know i mean is that really workshopping it sounds like somebody just knows some jokes and wants to share them so you know i don't know if i agree with the term workshopping there but it's okay i like it i want every message that ned leaves to be hi this is ned and i'm workshop even if he's not i love it whatever's going on i just like the formality of that yes i love it too so that's it that's our voicemails yes exactly and I have an email here that I'm going to read directly from – I'm going to read it verbatim from somebody who had Russell Wilson in their class in college. Maybe I'll save that for tomorrow.

All right. That's going to do it for today's program. Thank you, everyone, for tuning in. Thanks, Andrew, for doing the show even though you're in Cleveland, even though you're sort of on quasi – trying to be on some sort of quasi-family vacation hangout today.

Well, no, we don't use the word vacation. I'm working. I just am working from Cleveland this week. that's right absolutely time sheet by the way russell wilson went to north carolina state

before he transferred to wisconsin not north carolina i know those are different colleges it's a really big difference between north carolina state and north carolina but i'm

glad that he went to two because that does protect the whoever this person wrote in they wanted to protect the reputation of their program so we're spreading it so we don't know

This was a wolf pack situation or a badger thing. Although he claims badgers. He likes to say, from a whole pack of badgers. That's the Wisconsin mascot. We don't need no stinking badgers. That's right. He also says that sometimes, too. All right. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Thank you, Matt.

I'm Andrew Hi, this is Andrew Walsh And I'm workshopping a joke Hi, this is Luke Burbank And I'm workshopping Hosting a podcast Should I start every show with that? Yes, I love it Alright, thanks for listening everyone We're going to be back here tomorrow With more imaginary radio For all of you So we will see you then Until then, have a great Wednesday Stay safe, take care of yourselves If somebody wants to play a game Where you sit on the floor With blindfolded with your mouth open Say, not today Satan Nope And please remember No mountain too tall Say good luck to all

don't worry about him that guy's dumber than the bag of hammers at the bottom of a frozen lake seriously though lawman what we're gonna do about dakota nothing that's the worst plan i ever heard dude i read their emails and if these things got published they'll put viagra out of business Yeah, and how do you know you can trust her? You're the boss, Wilbur. A blanket will be nice. I might get a little chilly since you ripped all my hair out. Mr. Ed, let's not get all familiar on the first date. Is this Dakota? This is Mr. Pope? Don't act like you don't know who I am. I'm a manless father. Don't give me any of that nice to meet you, crap. Trust me, if we meet, it ain't gonna be nice. I know your kind I read the emails and I've seen WNBA teams win more games than that you can explain no I do the explaining around power out