Muse

And I'm going to take tea and take a sip of it and spit it into each and every one of your mouths. Oh, it'll burn me, but it'll burn you twice. Burn me once with tea? Shame on me. Burn you twice in your own mouth? Shame on everybody involved.

Tea! Tea!

Tea! Tea! B-T-M! Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is.

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.

You're singing that wrong.

How? I made it up. They had been posting their stuff out on the internet, and apparently they'd been met with virtually nothing but ridicule.

Hey Lloyd, do some delivery for the truck to the airport.

It's not great. It's fantastic. You totally undersold it.

The pageantry, the costumes, wow. Put my headphones on, and here we go. I'm so excited. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. You want showmanship? You got it! My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I think this guy's sense of humor never developed past junior high school.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where we have all kinds of doings happening outside the window of the broadcast studio. Oh, and the adventure begins again. I do not know what happened because I was just living my life, making my coffee, doing my typical Friday morning kind of get ready for the workday stuff. And then I strolled into the broadcast center and looked out the window And there is a whole police situation out here involving a Toyota Prius that appears to have come to rest against a crosswalk sign, like the pole where you've got the two different, you know, kind of walk, don't walk things, which doesn't seem like a huge, huge deal. It's, you know, a car, and it didn't even knock the pole over. It doesn't even appear to have made any dent in it. But there are, like, 11 police cars. There's police tape blocking the road. They're interviewing people. I don't know what is going on. I am just happy to be up here in the broadcast center, far away from whatever this criminal element is down there on the cross sections of the streets just below my apartment. Let's get to it. episode 3628 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. It is another gorgeous day here in Portland. So if you were scoring at home, two days ago, it was

Oh ma, pa, it's just beautiful. And then yesterday

was a thunder hurricane and then today is Oh ma, pa, it's just beautiful. We give it two Aaron Coveys up on this gorgeous Friday. Gorgeous but cold here in the 503 uh let's see what do we want to talk about today well dealing with a situation with my fancy apple brand watch isn't that for techno geeks with spreadsheets the question is what who do you turn to when the people you turn to for help with your apple watch have no flippant idea what is going on who watches the apple watch men people i think is is really the question at hand here on this friday uh i'll tell you what's going on with that also i'll tell you what's going on with hank the tank he's a 500 pound bear wanted in the lake tahoe area a bear who had no idea what world it just stepped into carl's world the tahoe police department have said please stop calling us with reports of hank the tank i'm trying to use that phone but some late breaking dna evidence may exonerate Hank the Tank. You think that whole making a murderer situation in Manitowoc County in Wisconsin, you think that was a cliffhanger. Wait till I tell you about the DNA evidence related to Hank the Tank. Plus, we'll do music for your weekend because it is a Friday, a.k.a. a Fry-yay. We'll do all that with the help of this young man, the longest-running cobro of the show, once again not joining us from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. My hope is that if I proceed his introduction with that i will then not say it later out of just pure force of habit he's in fact in the cuyahoga valley right now he is andrew he has a very sudden midlife crisis he lands in cleveland walsh and he's joining me right now from his parents basement in the burgundy bay district of the western suburbs of cleveland how'd i do pretty good although i don't think this is the

Cuyahoga Valley. Is it the Cuyahoga Valley? I don't know. I just assumed it's all... I thought that was all... You know, somebody uttered that once on the movie Major League, and it just... It went into my brain as being anything Cleveland-related.

You might... I mean, I'm in Cuyahoga County, no doubt about that. I think the Cuyahoga Valley is south of here. Again, not to get pedantic. It doesn't really matter. You asked me how you did, and so I was kind of Googling on the fly. I'm not sure. I spelled Cuyahoga wrong as I typed it in. I've also said it three different ways in the past 30 seconds. You notice I go with Cuyahoga, Cuyahoga. I'm from here. I just keep saying it a bunch of different ways. Throw it all out there. One of them will be right. You know what, Andrew?

I feel like I wasn't a good friend to you yesterday. I was mildly but hurt that you were so excited about being right over the exact rooms you were in whilst we were talking about old dirty bastard on the show over the course of the last many years and what i what i realized upon reflection is and as i was describing it to becca last night over dinner you were just excited because you remembered something very specifically and you were right and that's a good thing and to the degree that i took to the agree that i i yucked your yum i apologize i was i was focusing on my experience of being wrong and i should have been giving a little more thought to your experience of being right so

oh well a couple of things there first of all uh well i guess i accept your apology although i thought that was all just in good fun now i'm retroactively insulted deeply angry and i and i

remain deeply angry about you correcting me on the cuyahoga valley no no there's a whole yeah i've got a wall with your name written down on a real steve bucemi out of billy madison kind of territory

The important thing to remember, though, is when somebody is that excited about being right, it means they're not right all that often. I mean, it's like telling on yourself a little bit, you know.

Well, exactly. And also just, you know, you're I was trying to explain the dynamic of don't be mean to my friend Andrew to Becca last night. I was like, my friend Andrew will really kind of get be pretty hard on himself. And a lot of times I feel like I have to try to sort of remind you to be nice to yourself. So on one of the rare days where you're being, let's be honest, too nice to yourself, I mean, kind of annoyingly nice to yourself, I should let that happen because that's rare. That's the exception, not the rule.

Well, if it means anything to you, I was beating myself up after the show yesterday, not because I was dunking on you. I mean, that was wonderful. That felt good. I felt alive. I felt like I was born again. That's what you need, my friend. I'm here for you. You know, we had a very brief conversation about the state of the world and, you know, the doings coming out of Europe and how scary that is. And I got to say, I feel like I wasn't – not that we need to get into it today. Like you said on the show yesterday, that's not – this isn't the best forum to get information and opinions about the Russian invasion of Ukraine. So I know that it's not our wheelhouse. But in the brief time that we talked about it, I don't think I was very articulate in my feelings about it. And I felt like I was a little almost dismissive, like almost like, oh, I hope it's not too bad. And that's if you'll recall, that was actually the tape, by the way. This is here. Let me play this again for you. Oh, I hope it's not too bad. That's the tape of me yesterday. And then we were able to get Bing Crosby. You're dumber than the bag of hammers. That was me doing ODB as Bing Crosby. So anyway, yeah, I was actually focusing on that yesterday, so don't worry. I don't think that's how it sounded at all.

I was also reflecting upon our conversation, and I think the listeners understood the spirit in which we both intended that, which was you said, hopefully there is, against all sort of odds and indications, hopefully there is a resolution to the situation happening in ukraine that does not mean it is the it's franz ferdinand being assassinated it's you know the way we felt uh on 9 11 just before the second plane hit etc you're hoping that it it turns out to be something that is not a a pivot in the sort of history of this planet that we live on as opposed to just another bit of saber rattling and an international dispute and that wasn't i don't think uh meant to be dismissive of the plight of the people in ukraine it was meant to say you hope this doesn't become world war iii which i think is a reasonable hope yeah exactly and i and you know i just didn't want to

be or in thinking about it later i was concerned that i came off as oh maybe almost dismissive the terrible experience that millions of people are going through right now in Kiev and Ukraine and you know

I was concerned that it sort of sounded like, well, I hope it doesn't affect me, which wasn't what I was feeling or trying to explain, but I wanted to make sure that it didn't come out that way. And then I think – I was also explaining to my dad today to the degree that we want to talk about this anymore. You know, I think this is something that I've seen in my life, just me, myself, in the past, which is I think I am – the best way I can explain it, and as I said to my father, I feel like I'm sometimes emotionally late to the headlines. And, you know, when I was working in the news, I sort of had the excuse of, well, I really just kicked into news coverage mode. Like, that's what happened to me on 9-11. I remember that day very well. And I was, you know, more of a journalist than I was a talk show producer. And as this was happening, I had to, you know, a show that I had produced was on the air. I was actively producing it. My boss, the head producer, was out and had left me in charge for the first time, and I was a very young producer, and then the planes hit the towers, as you mentioned, and I just – we had to make a lot of fast editorial decisions on the fly as a newsroom, as an organization, and I felt like it wasn't until like late that night that the feelings actually hit me and the larger implications aside from just like covering it. And that's kind of – I'll bet you that is not a unique thing for people who work in the industry. But I don't have that excuse anymore. I think that – again, I don't know if it's just like maybe misguided optimism when stuff happens or what it is. But I think that it wasn't until later last night and then like certainly this morning when I really started to dig more into the stories coming out of Europe that I started to feel just what I think probably a lot of people felt immediately, Which was just consumed and overwhelmed by the situation And for people, to echo what you graciously said yesterday, Luke For people who are feeling that way, whatever your connection is I hope everybody is doing alright Because this is, as we say in the Cuyahoga Valley Heavy, heavy shit Just outside the Cuyahoga Valley

Just outside the Cuyahoga Valley I'll tell you what you didn't do yesterday, Andrew Just north of the Cuyahoga Valley Into the west of the Kia Hoga

Oh I have a Kia Hoga It doesn't go fast but it's a cheap little car

You know actually they're making those Kia Hogas Really nice now They used to kind of be a bit of a trash car But I think that they got bought by Lexus So basically if you want to get a Lexus engine You just buy a Kia Hoga It's a lot cheaper What you didn't do yesterday Andrew was release a sort of Slam poem telling Vladimir Putin that if you were his mother, he wouldn't be doing this, which is what an actor named Anna Lynn McCord did. And as she's being sort of criticized by the internet, as you might imagine. I mean, this is, you know, much like the Gal Gadot thing, which we talked about a lot yesterday because it sort of is adjacent to that wild let it be video that we talked about at length yesterday. This idea of like somebody who is sort of famous and has a certain amount of influence, looking out at the landscape and feeling helpless probably or feeling like they want to help and then trying to help, but in a way centering themselves in the story. This really makes the Gal Gadot thing just look like small potatoes. This is the definition of centering yourself in the story. Vladimir Putin launches an assault on a, you know, a democratic country, Ukraine. And this Anna Lynn McCord makes it about how much she would have been a great mom to Vladimir Putin. Take a listen to this.

dear president vladimir putin i'm so sorry that i was not your mother if i was your mother you would have been so loved held in the arms of joyous light never would the stories plight the world unfurled before our eyes a pure demise of nations sitting peaceful under a night sky if i was your mother the world would have been warm so much laughter

and joy she gets into the he dogs and she dogs in a minute here and nothing would harm i can't

imagine the stain the soul-stealing pain that the little boy you must have seen and believed and the formulation of thought quickly taught that you lived in a cruel unjust world is this why you now decide no one will get the best of you is this why you do not hide nor away shy from taking back the world

oof away shy that's rough that's

right up there with um the uh the miley cyrus lyric we run things they don't run we oh i wasn't in terms of just absolute that's uh that's the um it's our party we can do what we want song we can't stop oh yeah we won't stop uh we run things they don't run we like i mean just an absolute just a first degree assault on the english language but that's right this that line

you just heard is right up there with was it because so early in life all that strife wrapped your little body with fear if i was your mother if the world was cold i'd have died to make

you warm i'd have died i think we can all agree anna lynn mccord would be a great mother to

vladimir putin well i mean going back to the beginning not only she's i mean she went real broad real early on this is the i saw this bouncing around yesterday but i hadn't actually delved into it i'd seen the first couple of lines and i didn't know what it was and then i moved on So this is interesting to me But I noticed that early on She didn't say like Again, I know it's a poem I know it's not just like a dress that's being delivered But I believe one of the first claims she made Was that if she was Vladimir Putin's mom The world, the entire world Would be a warm place full of joy Like that's saying a lot That's just giving That's a lot

Yeah, that's a lot of You are feeling extremely confident In your maternal skills to think Somebody on Twitter said this is sort of like You know there's a story that Mark Wahlberg Was Had a ticket on one of the flights During 9-11 and then didn't make his flight Out of Boston And that he is And I don't know if he's actually said this But this is what the tweet said This is like Mark Wahlberg saying he could have stopped 9-11 If he would have been on one of those planes That rings a bell This is kind of like Yeah you're right this is a lot of confidence In this person's maternal abilities to just completely, you know, change the course of history and make Vladimir Putin not the sort of person that he is.

Protect you from the unjust, the violence, the terror, the uncertainty. I would have died to give you life. Oh, dear Mr. President Putin, if only I'd been your mother. Perhaps the torture of unwritten youth would not within your heart imbue a scripting to such fealty against that world that you thought was so cruel okay this is really i have printed

this out andrew and you know i'm a fool for printing i love to print things out but and sometimes it's unnecessary in this case it was i printed this out in like i'd say 53 point font that passage you just heard because i've been trying to understand it i want to analyze it i want to study every every jot and tittle oh dear mr president putin if only i'd been your mother Perhaps the torture of unwritten youth would not, within your heart, imbue ascription to such fealty against that world that seemed so cruel. How could you have fealty against? I don't think this person is. I'm going to blow your mind, Andrew. I don't know if this person really knows what the definition of fealty is.

Is there a chance that this poet accidentally dropped a dictionary and then swept up all the words into a dustpan and then put them into this poem or into this into this verse? That, you know, like kind of one of those refrigerator magnet things. Exactly. That's what this sort of feels like is I didn't talk about the Beatles a lot.

Is it possible, Andrew, that you sent me the perfect audio drop related to this? I'm a poet and didn't even know I was rhyming those words. But because it was a reply to my show sheet, I did not fully process that that was where the audio drop was. Oh, sorry. I meant to tell you that. Is it possible that happened? No. I'm sorry to waste your time. You were very nice to edit down this ideal piece of audio tape for the beginning of the show. I'm a poet and didn't even know I was rhyming those words. I love that joke so much. And I completely failed to play it. I apologize.

I know we've been talking about the Beatles a lot lately, but there is a – and I don't think this is a rumor. I think I heard George Martin say this himself. Of course, he was the Beatles producer for a long time and kind of a producing genius, I think. And I believe the song – I could be wrong here. It was definitely a song off of Sgt. Pepper. I think it was for the – being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. The background music in that song has a very kind of odd, circular sound to it. I can't explain what is a circular sound. That's not the word I was looking for, although I'm still doing better than this person. But anyway, he says that he took whatever the musical backing track was and then they were using actual physical reel-to-reel tapes at this time. He says that he just –

cut it up into a bunch of pieces that were about, I don't know, five inches long or something. Oh, like me editing a radio piece in K-O-W circa 1996. And he said he just mixed them all up and then randomly taped them back together. And that's how you got that sort of like calliope, the kind of, you know, whatever the word I'm looking for also for that type of music at the time that was like kind of inspired by, you know, the psychedelic. that's what i'm looking for like kind of a psychedelic calliope sound i got there um and it was just kind of this this random this randomization of the of the sounds i sort of feel like that's what happened with this particular verse i got there i didn't do much better than

this but i got there yeah that is i mean there is this is either the best poem that's ever been written or possibly the worst poem that's ever and again i said this a minute ago strong kim catrall scatting vibes just in the the vocal quality the tone of this person's voice perhaps

you would hold dear human life and on this night instead of mother russia yippee-ki-yay

what does she say a buddy baziba like these these folks could be related uh and and also again they're you know maybe what it is is i'm just jealous because i am so embarrassed of myself all the time that I could never this is why I'm a terrible improviser I can't I can't let loose I could never do the Kim Cattrall scatting thing I could never put this poem on the internet because I would already be anticipating all of the criticism but this is a person who is just living in the moment and just absolutely you know fearless there is a fearlessness to this Andrew that I have to say maybe I'm jealous of.

Possibly. It reminds me a little bit of, let's see, can I play this? I'm trying to be very delicate with my system here, but I think I can play this for you.

Woman!

Whoa, man! Whoa, man! She was a thief, you gotta believe. She stole my heart and my cat.

I'll leave it there for now.

Call me, and I would set your mind quite free with the love that only a mother can give.

Hard-hearted hobbinger of haggis. Hey, you remember that pretty well.

Were you also, you were a ax murderer aficionado.

I was a soy American ax murderer ahead. I loved that movie so much. I think of it as an Anthony LaPaglia vehicle, and I also, and a Nancy Traff, you know, I'm putting Mike Myers in the third position behind Anthony LaPaglia and Nancy Travis but I loved that movie so much and I in particular I loved the soundtrack every time it comes up on this show I mentioned the there's the laws song I believe there she goes on there or maybe it's the Ned's Atomic Dustbin cover of that or it might have been Tom Waits Ned's Atomic Dustbin covering downtown train by the laws

Rod Stewart actually wrote that for Ned's Atomic Dustbin I don't know the actual soundtrack itself but I watched that movie a bunch and I know that they didn't use the laws version in the movie that was the original version so i don't know if

the laws version ended up on the soundtrack though i let me just look this up real quick

just while you do that i'm gonna play this which i was also thinking of i don't even remember what

this is from anything can be a slam poem if you say it like this it's pointless that's actually

from parks and recreation yeah that is that's your girl polar that's my that's my gal although

Although, you know what, yesterday I was talking about how that profile is going to be on television this weekend, and it's not. I was going to tell you, I didn't want to— Thanks, Vladimir Putin.

I was going to say, after—your buzz was already pretty harsh yesterday, so I didn't want to add to it. But when you said that was going to air this weekend, I almost said, first of all, I know that you've been frustrated with that lately. There have been various things bumping your pieces, but I almost said to you, I have a strong feeling that the polar thing is not going to air this weekend with everything that's going on.

It is, as they say at CBS We are below the line right now, Andrew We are not one of the stories That is going to get played You know who did the There She Goes Track on the

Yeah, yeah, I do It's the Boo Radleys Oh, no, I wouldn't have guessed that Never mind, I was going to guess something else

Who were you going to guess?

I was going to guess The band that did Kiss Me

Oh Let's see Sixpence None the Richer I thought it was Sixpence None the Richer This is going to be a terrible audio version The Boo Radleys Because that's the

law song right that's the that one is was originally done by the law yeah i love that

song i love that i've never never like chased a guy across a crowded city square i've never i've never hung on to that part of the helicopter you know that part underneath the thing where it lands do you do you know that yes i know that i've never hung on to that is that alan arkin

yes you know i think this is the movie where i fell in love with alan arkin by the way and

oh andrew walsh can you just take the show can you take the reins for oh what's on the show

sheet okay why are you lying down is this one of those things where you think somebody's giving you a sundae because i'm telling you don't do it don't fall for it again

i did not realize anthony lapalia the actor is australian this keeps and when you were playing that audio i just always assumed anthony lapalia who was on like fraser and he's he's the sidekick and so i married an axe murderer i just figured he was from new york he just seemed very new yorky to me and when you played that audio i was like what is this accent i'm picking up can you are you able to replay what you just played listen subtly for the australian for the kidman-esque accent that comes through even though i don't think his character and so i married an axe murderer is supposed to be from australia he's supposed to be a hard-bitten San Francisco detective, I believe.

I can go back to that tape, but let me try another one. This is very heavy. What's his name? DePaglia? Anthony LaPaglia. All right, this is heavy with LaPaglia as well, I believe.

Tony, I don't want to intrude, but you seem a little down. I'm having doubts about being a cop. You know, it's not like how it is on TV. I've never chased a guy across a crowded city square. I've never hung on to that part of the helicopter. You know that part underneath the thing where it lands? Do you know that part? Yes, I know that part. I've never hung on to that. I've never even commented a vehicle.

Now that sounds like a lot of fun.

And that's the other thing. You're too nice. Why can't you be like the captain on Starsky and Hutch? You know where you come in and you haul me into your office and you bawl me out because you're sick and tired of defending my screwballed antics to the commissioner? Why could you do that? Well, the truth of the matter is I don't report to a commissioner.

I report to a committee, some of whom are appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a biannual basis. It's a quorum, so to speak.

A quorum, yeah.

God, I love Alan Harkin.

Never has the term biannual basis been played for more comedy.

Oh, man. Anyway, I got a bunch of that tape. You know, I was listening for it. I didn't hear it as much as you did because he's doing that strong, you know, New York accent so much there that I – wait, that's a New York accent that he's laying on there, right? That's his whole –

Well, I mean, I guess, again, he works in the police department in San Francisco in that film. Yeah, so why would that be – But he's also – he's on some procedural. He was on some procedural called Without a Trace for many years, and I would just see him on things, and he just read deeply New York to me. and then when I heard that audio I was like is he trying to do an accent and so I married an axe murderer and then I looked him up and then it turns out he was Australian the whole time Andrew what

what a world does he like going to the movies does he think it's a very special thing going to the movies I think what he would say about that is

somehow hot break feels good in a place like this

that's what I was trying to remember I was trying to remember that line let's take a quick break and then when we come back we'll talk hank the tank and my issues with my fancy computer watch coming up in a moment here on tbtl hello and welcome to top story i'm i you know this is not a particularly interesting story andrew but it's relevant to my life and that's why I need to start with it I have one of these Apple watches and I have been for the last I don't know a couple years I've been paying ten dollars a month so that it is also a telephone meaning if I go like on a jog or something or I don't bring my phone with me I should theoretically be able to actually make phone calls from the watch and that's doesn't just like come with my Verizon service that's some extra charge and for the last year or so basically ever since my Verizon account you know Carrie and I were on the same account and then when we separated those accounts something changed inside the watch and so I've just been thinking about this for a long I keep having thought I should go in and have them fix this because I've called the 800 number they couldn't really help so I go into well first of all yesterday I went to something called a Verizon an express which what I didn't want to go to was

There's like, you know, with any kind of big cell phone company like Verizon, they have what are called like Verizon authorized dealers or something, which is just could be a, you know, could be a mini mart where they've jumped through the whatever hoops so that when you search for Verizon on Google, their address will come up, but you get there and mostly what they sell are taquitos. So I was trying to avoid that because I just wanted a place where their whole thing is phones and i go so i there's a thing called like a verizon express but it's like a you know it's run by verizon so i drive across town to go to this verizon express and i walk in and i explain to the nice young person working there what's going on and she just looks at me she's on i knew there was a problem when there were no computers in the store there were just phones mounted on the wall and then both of the employees just had cell phones they were working with cell phones themselves oh because they want they don't want to they want to show the power of the phones the power of the product if they have a computer there they're belying their own claims maybe all i knew is that it was a it was a bad situation when there was nobody behind a like a counter with like a computer that appeared more powerful than my phone it was two women in their early 20s on their own cell phones when i walked in and i was like explaining it and the the one person said to me uh you're gonna need to go online to fix that and i was like i was online it wasn't possible to fix it and then she said well this is a verizon express and what this is basically is the same as going online i was like can you access my account she was like we don't have access to your account here then it's not the same as going online it's worse than going online it's worse than me being at home with my laptop i have driven across town to go to a physical location that has actually reduced my options what would you go to this place for what can they provide maybe you had a head injury and you were wandering around uh like 20 24th street in portland and you needed shelter and they also they also have cell phones that they'll sell you i mean i don't know what the purpose of a verizon express is but uh so i was directed to go to the real a real verizon store in portland where i went and i went in and there was a security person which is very common now in portland in almost every store now certainly any bank you go into or any kind of retail location that's a national chain there's just a full-time security person now stationed in these places so it's a security person and then uh an employee of verizon and she's just sitting there shooting the shit with the with the security person and i said to her hi i have this watch it's supposed to be a phone it's not a phone anymore uh could you help me with it it's a funny and she goes well

all of my she goes all of my um well all my associates are are working but i can put you on the list so she takes my name and information meanwhile beck and i are supposed to meet for dinner so i'm on a little bit of a kind of a limited time window here so she enters me into an ipad i was there did appear to be at least some computerization of this story it was bigger than the verizon express and it seemed like the place where they might have computers so i was like that's a good sign so she enters me into the ipad and then i get a text from verizon saying you're on the waiting list to talk to an associate and i remember thinking it's kind of interesting that this person who seems this this woman who I initially talked to appeared to be let's say in her mid 50s she seemed like she kind of probably knew her stuff at this place so I wait 15 20 minutes and finally there's an associate who's who's able to help me and we sit down I explain the problem to the associate who's completely and totally flummoxed and then immediately walks over to the person who checked me in who is still standing there shooting the shit with the security guard because the person who's helping me the associate doesn't know how to do any of this stuff and that's not a criticism of them just the most senior person the person who was constant I mean this happened four times during the conversation where we we encountered a roadblock and then the associate I was working with would then walk across the Verizon store to talk to the manager who was shooting the shit with the security guard to find out how to fix it and then she would come back to me and then we would try to move forward and one thought i had was could the manager have just helped me from the get could the person who clearly had the most knowledge in this physical facility instead of being the person who inputted me into an ipad or probably wasn't even an ipad it was probably some you know tablet that verizon will give me for 30 a month that won't work a v-pad why is it that why is the person who who is clearly the one person in the store who kind of knew what was going on why were they doing the least amount of the helping

the people who were having the problems but anyway the the person who helped me was she was actually very nice and it wasn't again i'm not i'm not trying to criticize the associate who helped me it was just a weird thing where i it became clear to me pretty quickly that i i sort of knew more about the situation than the associate for instance the the associate was saying to me well i'm looking at your account and it looks you know the phone the watch is a phone and you're paying for it and it looks everything looks good and and and she was scrolling through all these settings on my watch and she was like yep it should be working and i said yeah but when you go to the part where it says cellular it says no cellular connection and i had to then go into the settings and show this person basically the the first place you should look on this watch to figure out if it's a cell phone is a thing called cellular where if you clicked on it it would say this is not a cell phone right now and this associate had looked at like 84 things none of which were the most obvious part of the problem. So then she said she kept going back and forth to the manager. And finally, she was like, well, we should call the helpline. And I was like, okay, all right. I've been out of Verizon Express. Now I've come here. I'm now late for dinner with Becca so that we can call the 800 number, which I could have, again, done from my apartment, which today is overlooking some kind of crime scene that, by the way, is still unfolding, Andrew.

How many police cars now?

Well, they're down to only about four police cars, but the number of photos they're taking, the number of crime scene photos, and the fact that they were dusting things for prints makes me think something went down this morning, like maybe really early. I've had my car broken into plenty of times. I've been associated with sort of petty crime, and you see kind of what the turnout is for that. This is not that.

This is something that I believe will be in the Oregonian. Are there people standing around? What's the looky-loo sitch?

I believe the—well, it's a little hard for me to see, but I think most of the looky-loos, the people on the street have been interviewed. They were being interviewed by police and have mostly gone back to their homes or apartments or what have you. It's just it's a it's two police officers and then a crime scene photographer who is gloved up and just taking tons of pictures of an Audi with like a Thule sport rack on top of it. And then earlier, this Prius that's just kind of come to rest against the crosswalk sign. But anyway, you know what? You know what's strange?

How did I never tell you about this? This was, I don't know, sometime in the last year, there was a murder across the street from me, like directly across the street from where I live about – well, it was during the summertime. It was at night. Genevieve was out with some friends, as is her want. I was at home, as is my want, but I know it was warm out because I was sitting on the roof deck patio area that we have, which is really just a roof that's flat enough to not tumble off it. And I was sitting there. I was listening to the baseball game, and I think I had it on my V-pad, watching the baseball game on my V-pad, maybe listening on the radio. And then I don't think I heard a gunshot, but I noticed some sort of commotion across the street or maybe I saw the first lights of a police car or something. And so I did what you and I have started doing since we hit middle age, which was I pulled out my phone and I opened up the police scanner. Yeah. So I turned on the police scanner and I listened to all of it unfold. And apparently somebody was shot. There's a parking lot between two audio stores directly across the street from me. but then if you push back behind that there's a little alleyway and another parking lot of a bank and so I can see it I can put eyes directly on it and apparently somebody was I cannot why I wonder if this happened during maybe our time off or something that this wouldn't have come up on the show because it was quite the night I was it was like the burbs practically like I was on my roof listening to my scanner trying to understand what was going on um you know the the scanner was very active that night they were and i could hear the dispatcher talking to the police and they were looking for the weapon and they thought that the weapon the gun had been like thrown in the alleyway and i heard them as they were trying they thought they were pursuing the suspect in a different part of town later i don't know if they ever caught it and i heard all of this going down but then the next day in the next couple of days this was a weekend i was um doing some internet searches for the story and there were a couple of other shootings this was like a weekend that had several shootings in Seattle and um and so there were headlines about multiple shootings in Seattle but none of them mentioned my road or my neighborhood specifically and I couldn't tell if like the other if the other um events had overshadowed it or if possibly was I listening to the wrong scanner i don't know but i mean they had the place taped off for several hours with the police tape there were many police cars they they had um blocked off one of the roads like it was a real ass crime scene which is that's technical by the way that's police language for a real

that's the language anthony lapaglia uses yes a hard-bitten san francisco detective and so i

married an ex-murderer you know that part you know that hard-ass crime scene part oh yeah that Sounds like a lot of fun. Anyway. I think you actually have that line from him. Somehow, hot break feels good in a place like this. I hear the accent now when you play that. I hear the Australian accent. Anyway, that doesn't advance your story at all. I'm just surprised that I did not ever have reason to tell you about that after that happened. It was an intense night. Genevieve, I was sending photos to Genevieve of the police action and texting her with updates as I was listening to the police scanner. And I don't know what ever became of that crime.

Wow. That's a bummer. something similar to that but but very different happened to me long ago when i i lived in los angeles but i had been dispatched to new york for npr and i was sitting in the new york bureau the old npr new york bureau on second avenue with uh adjacent to one mike peska and robert smith and i was reading the la times online and it said there was a shooting there was a double homicide in echo park and i thought huh i live in echo park and it said it was on clinton street and i thought huh it's funny i live on clinton street and then it gave the address and it was my address not that and i i'll leave off the specific numbers because my my first ex still lives there and uh you know i don't want anyone showing up but um it wasn't that the the the double homicide had occurred at my address it was that the people who one of the people who was deceased had expired on the front

steps of my house of your house and i know you're trying to house if i um ask questions that you're not comfortable answering because of privacy concerns just don't answer them but was this a

multi-family unit or is this just like no it was a house that we owned but it being la and it being you know the part of la it was in um it was so like was a house that i was it's one of many houses i've owned that now someone else who i was married to owns andrew um would we would look later we would learn it was part of a pattern for luke burbank but it was a house that had a wrought iron fence around the yard and then there were like steps that you would walk up and you would get to the gate and you would open the gate and then you would be in the yard of the house and the person uh their life ended on those steps that you would be taking to get up to where the

gate was to get into the yard and so it was literally the numbers the street numbers of

your address was the neighborhood to you though the street the actual no because i was in new york i was they talked to my ex they she couldn't get her car for a week her car was evidence because it was parked on the street near where this all went down and they basically said no one can move their car until we've processed all of this and it took a week for them to finally say you can move your car wow man the show's taking a really grim turn it has i mean we're getting real into like i don't know if this is the wire or the shield or the brooklyn 99 that'd be a better way for it to go you know like that's a that's a much more uh fun uh frivolous police procedural that we could

possibly go on i don't know if this gets us back on track or not but i did write down as a possible show title and i'm going somewhere with this my watch is a phone but it's not a phone anymore and i put but it's not a phone anymore in parentheses and you know what i realized that sounds like i Like a Tammy Wynette song or something, right? My watch is a phone, but it's not a phone. My watch. I won't do the whole thing, but you can hear it as a country song.

I was thinking it sounds more like a Billy Collins poem or something. Oh, interesting. It's very, I don't know, like high concept poetry. All I want to say to wrap it up is my watch is still not a phone, Andrew. And the very nice person I was working with at the Verizon The real Verizon store Was called the 1-800 number And then I talked to a really nice person at the 1-800 number Who couldn't fix it either And I said well could you at least do this Could you do me a kindness Could you at least credit my account For the $10 a month I've been paying for 12 months For this to not work And the person said I would love to help you But because in my system it says that it's working I'm not allowed to refund you the money so i walked out of there with my watch still not working as a phone still down 120 for the service

no closer to the watch working as a cell phone you know i'm wondering if by the way i can 100 relate with the desire to go into a physical establishment to get help with something like this and that is my instinct for various things too Thank you. Whether it's something like the story you just told or if I want to buy something, especially if it's, like, maybe a piece of technology. Like, for example, I was talking about getting a new, like, kind of field recorder that I usually record TBTL on when I'm in my studio, and I got a new Zoom recorder. But I felt really good, like, going across the street and physically buying it at the Guitar Center, which actually worked out well because it ended up being, like, the third recorder that I bought that week. and I had to return the first two because they didn't work out for various reasons. And I do wonder, though, if that is us, like, you know, just continuing this journey into middle-aged dad mode, right? Like, the world is just not set up for us to be walking into these places anymore. You walk in and they just say, hi, welcome to the Internet. Log on over here and call a customer service representative. Right.

right welcome to verizon express worse than being in your apartment right exactly so it's like i really do feel like i'm kind of i'm sort of out of options at this point like nobody knows how to fix this situation and but i realized was it'll probably resolve itself when i just pony up and buy a new apple watch in about a year which i tend to do about every four years like that will be the solution i guess um but it's like i don't think there are any more tears to escalate it to

you know like what do you what do you as ozzy osborne once said no more tears i never realized it was spelled t-i-e-r-s to escalate it to i actually i think i want after that i think no more tears is a good show title as well sorry that i'm thinking about this that

was right before he bit the head off of an apple watch yeah i believe that he used to do with the

shows right before he bit an apple it was quite controversial speaking of police activity andrew

there is a situation going on in the lake tahoe california area where a what is being described as a severely habituated 500 pound black bear known as hank the tank has been breaking into homes causing extensive damage to 33 properties and 28 houses according to the south lake tahoe police department just this past weekend hank the tank broke through a window and pushed down a door at two separate homes now the according to the new york times the police say that hank has quote lost his fear of people and hasn't been stopped by the south lake tahoe police's attempts to rein Hank in by way of paintballs, beanbags, sirens, or stun guns. Apparently, Hank the Tank has been hazed more than 100 times by the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, but is totally and completely undeterred.

Have they tried playing the rednecks version of Cotton Eye Joe?

Somebody, I saw an email this morning Where somebody said that they Were listening to us talk about Rednecks, Cotton Eye Joe yesterday And then switched over to listening to the Seth Rogen, the audio book Of whatever Seth Rogen's latest memoir is Where he then arrived upon a chapter That was a deep dive into the band Rednecks and their song Cotton Eye Joe

That email came from A listener named Amelia And I love the subject line

Oh my friend Amelia, I know Amelia from Bellingham

The subject line was Cotton Eye whoa which i i mean obviously i appreciate that a great deal um here's the thing though andrew well first of all have you seen a picture of hank the tank i did hank the tank despite his name is a big boy do you think there's ever been i was thinking about that before do you like has there anybody been nicknamed frank the tank who's like just small little guy small small little

frank the tank sometimes no you it does go the other direction you will get a very very large person whose nickname is tiny yeah that's true yeah sometimes but you never get i mean my experience a really diminutive person whose nick's and his nickname is higante or something right you know yeah it never goes like a person who's small is being that the joke is that they're huge and large in my experience it's always the the sort of opposite but what's amazing to me is that they can't find hank the tank he is still at large and when you look at this guy he seems like a bear that you could probably catch if you were wearing flip-flops like i feel like if you just drop me into south lake tahoe i could just walk around and kind of like just if i listened

intently for wheezing i would find hank the tank this bear snores is what you're saying this this bear has sleep apnea most likely. This bear

would, if he were in Vegas, try on Camaro Kev's CPAP.

And maybe or maybe not give him the cron like it's wild to me that this bear is so elusive that the police have not actually been able to catch him. So many people have been calling in about Hank the tank that the South Lake Tahoe Police Department said, please stop calling us. You are overwhelming our 9-1-1 dispatchers with your calls about Hank the tank.

Hey, you know, I'm going to ask you a question that's somewhat related to the Apple Watch conversation, but also related to that sentence you just said. You ready for me to bridge this gap? I have a question, and I wonder if you have an answer for it. But, you know, you mentioned on this show a couple of months ago how compelling you found a commercial for, I believe, an Apple Watch or some sort of an Apple product that will kind of monitor your health or your situation and then will alert 911 if it thinks that maybe you've fallen or gotten into some sort of accident or some sort of trouble. And then the watch will ask you, hey, are you all right? It seems like you just took a fall. And then if you don't click, yes, I'm all right on the watch, it'll call 911 directly. I am wondering, is this something that 911 operators, I don't mean the actual people who are operating or answering the phone calls, but the people who operate 911s around the country as organizations, is that good? Do they want this? Are they just getting flooded with, like, somebody threw their Apple Watch into a box and moved it, and then the watch is like, hey, it seems like you just took a fall. Are you okay? And nobody knows that the watch is asking this and is calling 911. I can see a lot of false reports. And also, I just grew up always hearing that, like, you respect 911 because you do not waste their time. You do not tie up the lines. And I'm just wondering, how do the 911 organizations feel about these automatic calls from the watches?

That's an interesting – know that would be a good um that'd be a good bit of uh enterprise journalism has it driven up measurably the number of 9-1-1 calls and how often are those 9-1-1 calls related to an actual emergency versus some other kind of um just you know misdial or situation by the way andrew

tvtl bragging i'm gonna call 9-1-1 right now ask them how they feel about somebody is getting in

the Prius and backing it away from the crosswalk sign that it was resting against telling me the Prius driver was not the criminal in this situation is it a uniformed officer driving the car it is not it is a guy in like a north face puffer jacket who was one of the people talking to police endlessly and it would i'm gonna just i'm totally guessing now we'll all learn about this in the oregonian tomorrow but or we won't if we follow the andrew thing where it's like this is one of 11 incidents in portland doesn't even make it above the fold but uh the prius i'm guessing was just trying to avoid whatever the criminal situation was that happened earlier which would kind of explain why the Prius is not particularly damaged. The light pole or the crosswalk pole is not damaged. The guy is backing it away now, and he is driving away free. So we have narrowed it down now to not the Prius. The Prius person was not the criminal. Hey, you want to know something?

These headphones that I'm wearing right now that I'm using for this professional production of Too Beautiful to Live here from my road kit in Cleveland, Ohio, I've never used these headphones before. I think I've offered them to guests. These are like my fourth pair of headphones, and I keep them in a drawer on the rare occasion that I need to record something with more than three people at home. And they fold up nicely. They're actually a pair of Beat by Dre headphones. They're not the fancy kind, though. They're wired, you know, and they're plugged in. They're not tired. They're wired, and they're plugged into my little mixing machine here. But you know where I got these bad boys, Luke? Where? They were abandoned by the person who stole our scooter. When our scooter was stolen, what was that, like three years ago?

You got some free Beats by Dre headphones?

A lot of crime. A lot of crime stories today. But yeah, what was it? It was a Honda Elite. It was a 2001 Honda Elite that Genevieve and I had and loved, my little scooter. and it was stolen off of the street several years ago gotta get out of this neighborhood um and uh I actually love my neighborhood but anyway yeah and uh when I I didn't realize the scooter was stolen I thought it had just been towed because I had parked it on the street illegally or something I didn't know what was going on anyway I go to the impound lot and they're like okay your scooter's back there and I go to get my scooter and it's all jacked up I didn't even think it was my scooter at first and then I realized, oh, oh, oh, somebody stole this. scooter went joyriding on it crashed it somewhere and was clearly in some sort of trouble some sort of distress after they crashed it and just like abandoned it abandoned it uh and in the like i don't even know what you call the boot the trunk whatever like the storage area is under the seat they had left and this is why i know they were in a hurry an almost empty bottle of bullet not rye but i think bullet bourbon um a an unopened sealed pack of cigarettes no smoker leaves a full unopened pack of cigarettes behind that's why i know this person definitely fled um a couple of worthless tools a reach a mini rechargeable drill that i still have at home you can charge it with your cell phone charger um and these headphones these mini headphones beats by dre that fold up very nicely and i threw in my bag and i'm actually using them right now and i think you know what

good trade good trade i was wondering like you know do you i mean i think i know the answer to this but you didn't come out ahead no in the game like this the these these items were not worth

more than your honda elite no i don't know these headphones that i'm wearing now even new were probably 60 bucks tops or something they're not you know they're not wi-fi or anything they're just like and they're not even big over the ear headphones they're somewhere in between an ear bud and an over the ear headphone they are cushioned they're good for for this but i was kind of happy that i finally got a little bit of use out of this i'm amazed that you like that you

even sort of like secured the headphones tested them out wear them because they you know people talk about this has been a real crime heavy show for a friday but you know if you've ever had the misfortune of having your car broken into or or heaven forbid your home it's you know it's violating is the word yes it is the idea of someone kind of being in your stuff or just it really sucks and i could see a world in which it was just kind of like you'd be like gross i don't want to touch any of this stuff but no you you pushed past that you plug that beats by dre headphones and by the way i have to write myself a note when i use beats by dre because the next day i just think i'm dying i am absolutely uh that was a joke about beats and going number two

oh i see by the way you'd love this move here i'm in my dad's office here where i've been recording all week and somebody in the house just took advantage of the printer luke and if you hear some noise in the background it's because somebody is on the wi-fi and printing things out i mean that is a luke burbank move right there are you just happy to it always do you feel better to know that i i do have a printer like right next to me well i know that that home andrew that home focuses on the paperwork the big on the paperwork this is you referenced this off the air the other day and it's a i'm glad that you remember this this is not a plaque that exists anymore but what i believe you're referring to is a i mean just like occurred to me i wonder what's being printed out i wonder if whatever is being printed out is actually like a message to me what if it says like because my folks were gone earlier what if this print this could be like a horror movie What if Hank the Tank is outside your parents' house? Like, what if it prints out and it says, I'm in the house. Turn around. Anyway, growing up. Rainier Wolf Castle is at your house? Growing up in the bathroom that we had that my dad and I used in the, not the basement, but the lower part of the house when we grew up in the country, there was a little plaque on the wall. country kitsch plaque that said no job is done and no job is complete until the paperwork is done and it showed a little kid sitting on the toilet with a roll of paper uh a toilet paper next to

him so i believe that's what you're referring to there right every time i come over to your house in the um roosevelt neighborhood of seattle washington because i have now you have a printer and i have printed from it so my my laptop remembers it we'll just be sitting there kind of chatting and i'm typing away on my computer then all of a sudden you hear the printer go, ooh, and start printing. And I think it always catches you slightly by surprise. Not that you're mad about it, because for a while I thought you were mad I was wasting your paper, but it's more just like my sense is that printer is mostly not used until I'm there. And then it's always like, oh, yeah, he does have ability to print on that thing.

I don't think I'd ever be upset with you. You can borrow paper whenever you want, Luke. I promise you. I would never be like, oh, Luke's wasting my paper again. I mean, I'm not going to give you the shirt off my back, but I have paper. I'm good on paper.

The paper out of your printer, though. I'll give you the paper off my pack, yeah. I'm sorry to keep sort of dragging us back into the world of crime and punishment, but I just have to let you know one more thing about the Hank the Tank story that is also kind of fascinating. This is from NPR.org, Jonathan Franklin writing at the NPR.org website.

dna evidence shows hank the tank didn't work alone the police have now done in south lake tahoe have done some dna evidence and they have realized that of these many many break-ins that they were attributing to hank the tank it turns out that at least two other bears were involved Based on DNA tests And this is This is not just like a funny footnote The South Lake Tahoe or I should say It's probably the Department of Fish and Wildlife Has now said because there were other Possible perpetrators they have Taken off the shoot to kill Order on Hank the Tank I'm not kidding you when I say this Hank the Tank was marked for death When they thought he was uniquely Responsible for these property crimes But now since there are some other Bears involved he's now on a list where they're going to try to dart him and tranquilize him and just move him out of the area but he's no longer uh will be shot you know to death because of this like this is actual important i mean i'm not going to say it's you know serial season one but it's kind of a big

crime story uh to me yeah no kidding and also you know accolades once again to the innocence project

who I believe probably helps in on the I feel like was Barry Sheck rude to you or Jen I think

it I think it was Jen I've had folks on from the Innocence Project like back in the day like 20 years ago in New Hampshire I don't remember any run-ins that I would have told you about though

as far as being I think Jen did not appreciate that Barry Sheck which was interesting because it was definitely in the daytime we didn't have Barry Sheck on TBTL although I also didn't think We talked about Old Dirty Bastard on TV Chills

Maybe Barry Sheck was not talking about ODDB Yes you did

But I have a memory It's funny we were talking yesterday about how you remember Where you were hearing conversations Or engaging in conversations I remember it being daytime It feels to me like it was Ross and Burbank Or whatever that show was called in those days And maybe Jen was filling in Producing or something

Or I just forgot about it If you think it was Cairo and it was during the day

it could have been me and i just don't recall i feel like what happened was barry sheck was reading the paper it was the kind of thing where you know we were interviewing him about the innocence project and then as soon as we went to commercial he just sort of like opened up the wall street journal and just was reading it article by article making zero small talk and then when the like you know bump came back on it was time to talk and he like folded the paper up And went back to talking And I remember that kind of creasing the producer And I'm thinking that might have been Jen Which maybe she was just helping out that day For some bizarre reason

Yeah maybe It doesn't ring a bell to me And also I don't remember I don't remember having him in studio Like again like whatever So I'm looking it up now I'm looking to see like Cairo Radio Barry Sheck Nothing is popping up

Well if the same people Who were able to find old audio Of me talking about ODB Could put the same effort into finding the Barry Sheck interview I'd really appreciate it ODD to BBB Hey let's do some music for your Weekend before we We cruise down that Dinosaur and before Andrew like I walk outside and Ask the one remaining cop what the heck Fire happened maybe I can give you all a report on Monday or at least what they think actual boots on the Ground journalism that's It you know I'm just a good Old-fashioned shoe leather I assume you're going to suggest a song by michael stanley because i am soul of cleveland rest in peace i

believe he died just in the past year or so yeah but no one the internet is telling me i do not have a cleveland related song i do have a song out of chicago though which is a mere five and a half hour drive let's say a 90 minute plane trip by the way i looked at my seats it doesn't look like right now i have any flexibility the short the short trip from cleveland to chicago tomorrow will begin on a small plane so there are no middle seats i have an aisle seat i'm looking forward to that uh but then the long trip from chicago back to seattle luke second to last row window seat so yeah baby uh see no i don't like window seats i like aisles and i don't like being that far back Better than middle. Better than middle. Certainly better than middle. But on United, or as I like to call it, Continental, I'm going to be squeezed. Andrew the Tank is going to be squeezed into a pretty tight little corner tomorrow. They'll never catch you. They'll never catch me. Okay, but my song comes from a band called Dead. D-E-H-D. I've played their music on the show before. Oh, yeah, I like them. Yes, I think this will be very much up your alley. They have a new album coming out.

I don't like the thing happening to people, but I like this band.

It's a trio out of Chicago.

New record coming out in May, I believe, late May. And I don't know if this is their first single off it or not, but it is an early single and it's called Bad Love. Luke, I think you're going to like this song. Take a listen to this.

Now I can get some. I got a heart full of, I got a heart full of, r-r-r-r-tip-side. I was a bad love. Now I can get some. I got a heart full of, I got a heart full of, r-r-r-tip-side.

And I will fade it down there at the risk of getting pulled off of Spotify. But yeah, great, great stuff.

I cannot wait for this record to come out. Somebody's been listening to Roxy Music. That totally starts with the exact notes of Deep Blue Day by Brian Ferry And then the rhythm coming in sounds like more than this Which is Roxy Music, which is also Brian Ferry That's like, oh my gosh, that's so many things I love coming together in the world I love it So good I would like to, maybe for the second week in a row, Andrew, call an audible Can I suggest a Michael Stanley song in honor of you being in the cleave this week?

Sure, do you know Michael Stanley?

I know a song called Rosewood Bitters, which Joe Walsh from the Eagles recorded. It was originally a mic. It's written by Michael Stanley, the Pride of Cleveland, the Bruce Springsteen of the Cuyahoga Valley and adjacent neighborhoods. And I was listening to the Stern show the other day and they were bumping in with this. And I was like, this is a pretty good jam. And apparently Michael Stanley wrote this song and Joe Walsh loved it so much. And every time he would see Michael Stanley, he would say like, hey, can I record that song? And Michael Stanley kept saying no. And then eventually he he sort of he said, OK, and I believe this is off an album that Joe, the Joe Walsh version was off an album that Stevie Nicks kind of sort of shadow produced because she and Joe Walsh were dating at the time. She calls Joe Walsh the love of her life.

Really? A lot of information. You're throwing a lot of information. A lot of information. Yes. So you want to process. Now, you want to hear the Michael Stanley version or do you want to go with the one? I want to hear the Joe Walsh version. Oh, you do. I've never heard the Michael Stanley version. Oh, OK.

I had never heard the Joe Walsh version until four days ago, so I'm no expert on any of this, but I remember liking the song. I'm not a big eagle's head per se, but I remember hearing the song and being like, this kind of slaps a little bit. And I remember noting it was written by Michael Stanley. It made me think of you and Cleveland.

Must be kind of galling, though, if you're Michael Stanley. I mean, you're popular here in Cleveland, but you have nowhere near the career of Joe Walsh. And then, like, when you type in Rosewood Bitters into Spotify, you know, it's like the Joe Walsh song is the number one hit here. You know what I mean? Like, that must be somewhat that must be somewhat tough.

History is written by the Walsh's.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, that's over the mantle at your dad's house.

I'm looking at it right now. Yes. Right under the best dad ever sign.

The paperwork is never done until history has been written by the Walsh's.

Exactly. It's like you've been here before. OK, so if you're ready to go, I'll play it from my end. I assume this is a Rosewood Bitters. If you don't mind, no, not at all. By Joe Walsh. Shhh.

Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.

So many are the roads to walk I guess that's how it goes So many are the words to talk No one really knows Ways to save meaning You know what's so interesting is I've heard exactly one michael stanley song in my life it's because of you playing it but i feel like this sounds like a michael stanley song to me just that kind of anthemic 80s kind of vibe yes i i don't

even know like i think you you said that you've heard one song by him before and i don't even remember what that song was because i mean i grew up here but it's not like i listened to michael stanley like i couldn't name any of his songs you could name more of his songs than me i was looking up something here i believe my friend doug um says that i was looking because i we've tweeted about this more recently i believe my friend doug claims to have seen michael stanley have a heart attack one time i feel like it was in an airport bathroom this was years and years ago but i'm i'm looking for the details in my text messages now i remember him telling me this back when we went to college together but then we've been back in touch in recent years and um it looks like we texting on the weekend that he passed away on march 6th the best um the best uh i guess evidence i have that there was something that went down in in a restroom possibly involving a health scare was uh doug says uh he was a fantastic radio dj on the afternoon rush hour that's for sure otherwise i only encountered him that one time and he certainly wasn't at his best jeez yeah what do you think of that i mean can't we just can't we remember michael stanley

positively as the person who's been upstaged by joe walsh no that is true i mean i don't mean to i mean i i mean i i'll tell you this there's people some people have have seen heard and smelled me in an airport bathroom when i'm not at my best either that's certainly i hope that you don't eulogize me that way please yeah when i've passed heart attack would be an improvement in that case i believe it would be i'd take heart attack yeah you know five days a week and twice on sunday please all right our listener suggestion is from listener lisa who says hi guys i'd like to recommend kurt vile's new song like exploding stones for music for your weekend it's so good i love you both so much thank you for being awesome thank you i've got kurt vile on the brain because of course he was the original lead singer of the war on drugs andrew and it's so fascinating to me because kurt i love kurt vile and i love his sort of vocal style and and everything about the dude but if i were in a band and kurt vile were the lead singer and he moved on for some reason i would think well this band is kind of over like we're just we're definitely done with this but the war on drugs proves that kurt vile can leave your band and you can still be playing arena rock shows and obsessing over the fact that you're playing on a basketball court. Like that can still happen.

Yeah. You hear that? Everybody who thought that TBTL was over when Jen left.

Exactly. Or when I leave or when Doug joins the cast. I'm the, who's the new lead singer of the war on drugs. I'm that person. His name is, I think his name is, he, he actually kind of has a stage name. It's like Michael. And then it's something, I got Michael standing on the brain. It's not that. It's something, and his last name is very French-sounding, but I read on Wikipedia that that's not his actual last name. It's a reference to a French school that he went to or something. That guy, though, the lead singer of The War on Drugs, the now lead singer, I mean, I believe he was always in the band. But again, the idea that things can continue on, it's inspiring, Andrew. But I have to stop inspiring myself and the listeners because the guy who is driving the Prius is walking down the street on a cell phone, and all the cops are gone. He's the last, you know, connection to this event, and I have to get down there and ask him what the frack happened. Love it. Love it. Go, go, go. Let's take a listen to this Kurt Weill song suggested by listener Lisa, and let's thank all of you for spending this week with us. Thanks for being part of TBTL. Andrew, safe travels back from the Cleve. Thank you. to seattle uh everybody have a great weekend we'll see you on monday with more imaginary radio and until then please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all Pain ricocheting in my brain Like exploding stones Thoughts running round in my cranium Like pinball machinomania Dreaming of a time when everything rhymed And I was cool I hear from the boys upstairs you've been sticking your nose in a Ralph Elliott case. Yes, Captain. Don't yes, Captain me! Stay out of this. This is strictly homicide. Captain, I got this friend. We all got these friends. I'm warning you, Giardino. Back off, Italian boy. Keep away from this one. It's too big for you. Wait a minute, Captain. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Trust me on this one. I know what I'm talking about.

You screw this one up, pal, and you'll be writing pocket tickets for the rest of your life. You got that?

Good for you. That was so much better. Yeah, you like it? Really terrific. It was fantastic. The beginning felt pretty good. Yeah, yeah, it was great. I thought I'd get too much in the end. No, no, no, it was really terrific. I'd really like to discuss this, but I've got to go save a life. Let me work on it, I'll work on it. Work on it, because it was terrific. And honestly, it was such a big improvement. Fantastic, thank you. Thanks. Power out.