Muse

Some people are living a life that I don't understand at all, like wearing matching rings with their boyfriends or putting everything in their little briefcase and going to a building that looks Greek for some reason. Some people are making a smoothie, and they got two kids crawling on the floor next to them. Some people work in a cubicle and ironically hung up one of those, like, cat posters, but it kind of does inspire them. Some people are popping all these off a half pipe. Some people are in, like, a bunch of snow, and they're like, that's fine and normal. Some people saw the House of Horrors at the county fair, and they were like, I'm going to be that. What are you guys up to?

T-T-T-B-T-L Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?

It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

Hey, good looking. And what we did see is we took them turds and we crammed them in between the number there, so that's 1-30-2-30-3-30. It's embarrassing and it's gross, but at least it's kind of funny. A year ago, this is exactly what Greg Kinnear was doing, but now he has an Oscar for Sliding Doors 3, colon, Jingle All the Door.

We have a story to tell, so listen. Okay. And write it down. I was saying, who learned?

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

This is a simple game. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo? Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where it's a beautiful day. We had a beautiful time last night doing the Live Wire radio program. What a fun, sexy time for you. There were a lot of tens who came out. Got to talk to a lot of fun folks after the show. And then even do a little Kuroke. Kuroke. It's a thing I'm trying where I call it Kuroke now. With our friends J-Dog and Anna. That was real fun. And we've got a real fun show in store for you here on episode 3638 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

Remember how Pat Sajak, host of Wheel of Fortune, was on Twitter recently saying, Don't be mean. Don't be rude to Wheel of Fortune players who don't know the phrase, a feather in your cap, who think it might be another feather in your map or another feather in your lap. Remember how Pat Sajak was saying Don't be rude Well he was just very rude To a Wheel of Fortune player

I mean it's so rude I can't believe it It's so f***ing rude

And we will go to the tape I am very upset at my favorite Conservative leaning But I think generally funny Game show host Pat Sajak Also And I mean it this time Baseball's back baby

Hey, Lloyd, do some delivery for the truck to the airport.

I needed this this week. With the Seahawks in rebuild mode, the Mariners may be kind of okay for the first time in basically my adulthood. I didn't become an adult until 25, is what I'm trying to say. I needed baseball to not be canceled this year, and thankfully it is not canceled. So we'll probably get into that a bit. And I learned something, speaking of the Live Wire radio program, I learned something on stage last night about a theory of the intersection of the Batman, the Bruce Wayne family. TBTL, where is it? And another film franchise that really caused me to have a unicorn mind explosion. So we'll probably talk about that too. And we'll do some music for your weekend because it's a Friday. We'll do all that with the help of this young man, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions, of the tall ships. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Not to get too grisly right off the top of the show here, But it's kind of a terrible day for people who have Google News alerts out for the name Andrew Walsh. Now, I don't presume that a lot of people have Google News alerts out.

for the name Andrew Walsh, but I do because my name is Andrew Walsh. Probably that teacher in Connecticut or whatever. Yeah, who's terrible, terrible things. That teacher was, I believe, actually not just charged with. Oh, sorry.

Not the bad one. Oh, oh, oh, oh, the Andrew Walsh

who was going to change his name to Andrew Wolfe. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah, right. A beloved teacher of one of our listeners. Exactly. Who's your exact twin,

and that is the hill I will die on. Yes, because we both have beards and wear Czech shirts sometimes.

And are the same height.

I don't think that's true. And we're wearing similar hats and are named Andrew Walsh or Wolf. Or Wolf. No, also, that is the problem. I need to stop having Google News Alerts with my name on them because it's never like, podcaster Andrew Walsh reaches new heights. Like, I always think that someday somebody's going to do a whole feature on me. That's going to be a drop, and I look forward to the day when Lynn sends that to me. Like, somehow I think that somebody's going to write a glowing feature article about me, yet somehow it's going to be a surprise because they didn't interview me. I don't know why I have a Google News alert out with my name on it. I've had it for years, and it only catches bad news. I mean, listen, there's a sheriff's deputy in Las Vegas whose name is Andrew Walsh, so he's quoted a lot. And usually it's not great things. It's not terrible things.

If it leads, it leads. That's right. If it stinks, it links. Ooh.

because of the google aspects of this yeah i was trying to make it uh if it blurts it alerts uh anyway sorry um and then yeah then it catches some like really terrible people named andrew walsh which happened about i don't know maybe a year ago where there's a just a terrible terrible i think maybe a coach at a school who uh is in prison now for doing terrible things and now unfortunately luke somebody named andrew walsh i mean this is the biggest andrew walsh news alert listing i've ever gotten there's like 10 articles in here all because tbtl breaking andrew walsh tried to modify the drop there so it was tbtl i see oh gotcha now unfortunately it's not great it is it is i won't go into the details but it involves murder and let's just say there's one less andrew walsh on the earth now no yeah and actually it's kind of like i don't want to again And the TV show is not a place for grimness, but there are some interesting details around this. I won't go into it right now. Ironically, it is a place for Grimly, the battle troll. Exactly. So, anyway, I can't tell, like, again, like, is it a good day for Andrew Walsh news alerts because there's a lot of news alerts? Or is it a bad day because the news is so terrible? I don't know. What defines it as good?

Is it a lot of dings means good? Or is it only if the news itself is actually positive?

Yeah.

In the Andrew Walsh department.

Yeah, but it's not good news. That's certainly true. And, you know, again, why do I have this set up? I've had it set up for years now. I honestly don't know if this has ever captured anything that's actually related to me. I don't. I mean, maybe if you and I, maybe for the little mini tour we went on, but I don't even think so. It's dumb. I'm going to delete it right now. What about, like, let's see here.

I've got to get some proper music for this. How about Forget the music How about this Just imagine I'm playing like 1950s kind of like How about Andrew Walsh moves to Sweet Cream District

The newspaper I can see the newspaper Spinning on the black screen Until it eventually Exactly I wish I had newspaper Spinning music

Andrew Walsh relocates To Sweet Cream District Now I've got that on my mind because as i mentioned the top of the show uh i saw a lot of tens last night which was so fun and like uh very exciting and um and then i even went to a karaoke bar with our friends hauser and anna and anna took me aside in a moment of seriousness and said you know and i i feel like this is okay for me to to sort of offer anna's bona fides here she said look i know people she's i you know i'm involved in burlesque i know people who are uh do a variety of sex work i've run this up the chain i want to tell you sweet cream district is the name of where andrew will be broadcasting from and i've checked it with people that are in the industry and no one takes offense to it and i said okay i'm putting this on you we're going to start when you move there we're going to start calling it the sweet cream district and i sure hope i don't hear in six months about the i hope i don't at a sweet cream district google alert telling me something terrible about the origin of that

phrase i think the origin is that box top song i really do and i think is in that

That song is Celebrate Sex Workers in the late 60s, too.

So, yeah, no, I'm totally comfortable with that. Absolutely. Well, just so you know. Now, the other thing that happened last night on stage, and I don't think I'm spoiling anything because I bet this won't end up in the radio version of Live Wire. But we were talking to Jamie Loftus, the brilliant podcaster and comedian. and for some reason there was just this like running thread last night oh it's because Jamie has done a lot of kind of things that are basically performance art of one kind or another and one thing she did was she sold what she called Shrek nudes and gave the money to Planned Parenthood and what that meant was she painted her body green like Shrek and put on Shrek ears and then took pictures and then sold those pictures and then the money went to Planned parenthood and it started this whole kind of recurring thing on the show last night about shrek and i was bringing up this tiktok meme involving uh like kind of a sexy shrek which no one on stage had ever heard of it made me seem like a bit of an oddball but jamie said you know shrek is having a moment right now and i said what do you mean she goes well because of this thing with the batman have you heard about this no i haven't heard about this so there is a a theory going around the internet um the new batman movie suggests that thomas and martha wayne were killed in 2001 which means it's very likely that they died after taking their son to see the movie shrek which completely and totally changes the sort of space that i think of the wayne family as existing in like if the waynes were leaving shrek when they were gunned down in that alley i don't it just well it means the new the batman is a little too dark because that's a fun family those are some fun folks that were going to see shrek now this is just strictly

based on the fact that this is because i haven't seen the movie so i'm kind of asking here we don't know what they're leaving we just know they're leaving something and if it was a theater that would have been the number one movie in theaters at that time but based on like just the one of them was humming then i saw her face the smash mouth version oh okay well then i guess i don't have a leg to stand on because i i would say in all of the batman origin stories the ones that include that scene in the alleyway i never get the impression that people are just leaving a movie theater they're they're dressed to the hilt it always felt like they're leaving so that was

how it was in 2001 remember you would wear your pearls to see a movie that's true yeah you know

You're very dressed up. I didn't go to the movies a lot in 2001, which is probably why I forgot that. No, what's the movie that – Genevieve and I would have been newly together in 2001, and she dragged me to some movie that – Bandits with Billy Bob Thornton, and it's about a thruple. It's a movie about a thruple.

I feel like this is the second Bandits reference on the show in the last three weeks. Ed Norton is the other guy And the woman is Billy Bob Thornton is wearing Bruce Willis is in this as well

Oh is it Bruce Willis Oh okay but there's a woman too A famous actor Kate Blanchett Was I lying about Billy Bob Thornton Or is it all three of those

And maybe Ed Norton's in it as well But just the photo

No maybe I'm wrong about Ed Norton I must be wrong about that part But anyway maybe that's what What year is that? Could the family have been leaving that? Would young Master Wayne have enjoyed? It's 2001. It's very possible. No, I don't agree with that. I think.

I like it being Shrek. It makes me feel like Bruce at least had, young Master Bruce at least had a few moments of levity before he became the Batman. And just got totally humorless. Oh, by the way, that tape that I played a snippet of.

Oh, yeah.

At the beginning of the show. this is called something called batman joker tbtl intro and this was something that a listener made let me see if i can um find their name on here uh somebody named tim listener tim made this and i just played it because it was the only thing that came up when i was looking for batman related audio but i think this is this was recorded so that we could play it to let people know we weren't on the radio anymore or something this is i believe listener tim being both batman and i'm i'm thinking this is probably like who was the i forget who who's been the bat i mean this is after clooney but before robert pattinson um christian bale was batman for a while i think

so yeah and christian bale is the kind of the the christopher nolan batman's right right yeah this this Probably Christian Bale era, and Heath Ledger era Joker, talking about TBTL.

TBTL, where is it?

You're not going to find it on the radio anymore. Where is it? It's a podcast now. Tell me where to download it. you're gonna have to go to tbtl.net

it's really good i love that so much that brings so much that brings so much joy to me just go for it oh yeah i love when people submit things i have something here i mean the irony is

if you heard that you were listening to the podcast we were fired from right by the time that was made we were fired from being a radio when the time to play that would have been when we were on Cairo but knew that we were going to be fired at that point it was I mean it was clever and entertaining but it was largely meaningless because they'd already found you you wait are

you telling me that the rod father the program director at Cairo at Cairo radio didn't continue to play that piece of tape after you guys were that that didn't air at 7 p.m. for the two months that you were off the air as an intro to the Frank Shires show oh you mean Rod Arquette the

Rodfather the host of the Rod Arquette show from 4 to 7 p.m. on talk radio 105.9 Salt Lake City it's still happening I think it's happening I think he went down there to be the program director of something he's from there he's uh you know a utah native i believe and i don't know if he went back you know he lost the job of being the the program he was a really nice guy by the way and i will i will say this he we did a hey dummies recently where they asked somebody asked what's your favorite tbtl moment and i said weirdly it might have been the last show that we did on the radio because it was just such a hot mess and also people came to the building and it just was very sort of confirmed that there were at least a few people listening to this stuff. It just kind of felt special. And it's unheard of in radio that when they fire you on a Wednesday, they let you finish out the week. Yeah. Now, maybe that was because they just didn't have anyone who could come in and do seven. They could always get some. Trust me. They gave me a show. They can always get

somebody to move the needles.

It's it's unheard of in certainly in commercial talk radio to be fired, but then to be allowed to go back into the studio and keep talking into the microphone. And Rod did us that solid and let us kind of, you know, kind of wind it down. And that was really nice of him. And he didn't have to do that. And, again, it's not the industry standard. I don't think he was a bad dude at all. I just think, well, first of all, the show was not for him. I'm tempted to play. I'm tempted to see what they're up to on the Rod Arquette show down there in SLC. I promise you it was not a push-up contest or, you know, talking about Celine Dion. I'm looking at it. Coming up at 4 p.m. today on the Rod Arquette Show, Natalie Gutschnauer, director of the Gardner Policy Institute at the University of Utah, joins the show to discuss how the Russian invasion of Ukraine will impact us here in Utah. Hmm, I would say lightly. I wonder if they mentioned gas prices. i want to tell you that ruth buzzy yeah ruth buzzy the the comedian the the comic actress who i only know as a kind of a punchline name because she has such a funny name i forget the show she was on maybe she was like a hollywood squares person or something she is a still alive and b on twitter and is very funny here's what she wrote uh yesterday if you want to get gas for under $3, you might consider Taco Bell.

That's a decent joke. It's not bad. So was she in Laugh-In, I want to say? Maybe that's what she was. I'm looking this up now.

Yeah, she was in something that was before my time, but I just remember people saying the name Ruth Buzzy. Again, I think because it's kind of a unique name, And, you know, obviously she was a she was a beloved comedy person, but she is down in Texas and she's just putting out hilarious stuff on Twitter. Let's see. I'll try to find another one. Drank a bottle of wine and filed my tax return last night. I'm getting back six million.

We should go back and forth between Pat Sajak.

I know, I was going to say, this is not going to pay off as well as yours. I am looking.

for someone, Andrew, to do that knock-knock joke, the maya he, maya ha, maya ha-ha.

That joke absolutely slayed me. Yeah, knock-knock jokes, really, you need a willing participant in that, don't you? Like, you can't just tweet it out. I mean, you can, but it gets clunky. It gets awkward.

I'm still, I'm scrolling. I may have overpromised on the Ruth Buzzi.

Oh, here's a good one. Here's a good one. This is Ruth Buzzy from February 3rd. It's so cold, we chopped up the piano for firewood. It made two chords. Hey, that's decent. That's pretty good.

Ruth Buzzy, shout out to the lady customer at Cracker Barrel who walked up and said, Ruth Buzzy, wow, I thought you were dead. What would you say to that? All I could come up with was, sorry to disappoint you. So, yeah, Ruth Buzzy.

The man who invented Velcro has died. Rip.

ah uh-huh now wait i had to perform we had we we went down a a velcro sort of rabbit hole on this

show many years ago hook and loop right hook and loop technology and do you remember why because the people velcro is trademarked or something yes and they made one of those videos that legit went viral i think the rest of the industry the hook and loop if i have that right industry made a video saying you know where they were like executives were dancing around and singing about don't call it velcro because if you do it diminishes the industry do i have that right does any of that

probably it does and i think it probably it's sort of like if you make a tissue that's not kleenex right or you make a copier machine that's not a xerox it's like you you're really pushing for people to start referring to it as hook and loop hey andrew um can you um uh hand me that hook and loop i'm gonna try to attach this uh sound foam to my wall i'm trying to think of what you yeah

i don't want to ruin the wall so if i mean what do you think could you just grab a little bit of hook and loop and i can attach it now yeah that'd be great i hate these these kind of you know corporate entities try to go viral moments but if i recall this one actually made us legitimately laugh. I could be wrong about that. Maybe I'm more stodgy now than I used to be. But here's a little bit of this video. It's a message from the lawyers at Velcro Companies. So to be clear, I was wrong. This isn't like the rest of the industry. It sounds like this is actually Velcro, the brand, releasing this.

Everywhere you go you see the scratchy, hairy fastener

and you say, hey, that's Velcro! But even Even though we invented this stuff, our patent lapsed 40 years ago. Now no matter who else makes it, you still want to call it Velcro. You think it's awesome for us, we're famous, but we're lawyers and it's causing us grief. Cause there are trademark laws being broken, it's all here in this short legal brief.

And we know that this is confusing, because Velcro branded who we are. What if you call it all Velcro? We're going to lose our circle line. This is called hook and loop. This part's a hook. This part's a loop. You call it the robot, we're begging you. This is f***ing hook and loop.

We know this thing. That is not too bad as far as these things go.

So let me understand this. So basically, their point is they have the trademark of Velcro, But there is some sort of part of trademark law that if something is overused or used commonly for a certain amount of time, it sort of denigrades your claim to it as a trademark. That's my understanding from watching one. They're going to basically lose. They're going to lose their little circle R, their little register. They're going to lose that. But if we, the people of America, continue to call all hook and loop stuff Velcro, it will hurt the company that actually invented Velcro. It will make it hard for them to enforce their registration of it.

I would like a follow-up. I'd like to know if this made any impact in how they're doing and if they still hold the license. This was from September of 2017, by the way.

How do you even measure that? Yeah.

How do you measure that?

It's a really good – I'm with you. like when that person sings this is a bleeping hook and loop genuinely had me laughing it's a really funny idea but like how is that something that is measurable like people in life talking to each other in the privacy of their own home using the term hook and loop versus using the term velcro how do you quantify that in such a way that you are then more able to enforce your circle arc right i have no idea let's just go let's go a little bit further down this this

hole here i'm gonna hit play on this again we know this seems ridiculous this is the first

world situation and we made half of a billion last year i went to turn to my last vacation and we're asking you not to say her name we took 60 plus years to build but if you keep calling these pelcro shoes our trademark will get killed yeah we aren't just doing this for us we're doing

it for all the successful brands that got so popular people started using the brand names

the wrong way so please remember if you need something to clean up your socks do it with bleach and not with if you have blood from a booboo you make this is a bandage and not a If you're exercising with someone you're dating It's in life skating and not I know that bleep stuff is more fun to say But if you keep doing it Our tree fucks go away

I'm surprised they didn't mention Kleenex there Were you able to follow that without the visuals? So Yeah Why is that the law? I don't know

That is a bizarre part of that law We gotta get one of our many Dannys on the case Yeah Because You know like i don't need to explain this to our listeners who are smarter than we are obviously but like the idea of a of a trademark or i guess you know a mark as they call it sometimes for shorthand is you invented a thing you want to call it what you want to call it and you want to be able to sell it under that name you don't other people to be able to sell something similar under the same name that's your trademark how would it be that people just calling every tissue a kleenex would in any way affect i mean if that happens it happens why would that mean that the company that makes kleenex or the company that makes velcro somehow have less of a right to it if anything they just have more of a right to more damages from other i mean not that they can sue people regular people for confusing velcro and hook and loop technology but i just don't understand

why that's in the law that's very odd to me you know what i remember sort of very vaguely but a story this was back when i was in la so i'm putting this around 2014 2015 a story came out about how the person who essentially invented or came up with the the flavor for sriracha did not uh trademark the the name sriracha at all although he could have and i'm pretty sure it's a he here he could have but didn't and didn't really care and now you had like um you know like ketchup brands or like kind like heinz ketchup sriracha flavored ketchup or whatever Or, like, there's an alternate universe where nobody can use the name sriracha, like, I don't know, spicy. What is that? That's actually kind of, it's a version of, like, kind of pepper paste, right? I don't know if there's a generic term. It's spicy.

It's kind of, I think of it as being something from sort of East Asia or maybe China. I think it's made, you're absolutely right about this, Andrew, by the way, from Food & Wine magazine. No trademark, no problem for Sriracha founder, David Tran's Hoifong Foods started making Sriracha. It's an Asian chili sauce back in 1980.

And in California, I think, right? Making it maybe in Southern California, which is maybe why this was on my radar. And chili paste was the word I was looking for before. What did I say? Pepper paste? I meant chili paste. I think Sriracha is kind of like a different consistency, like kind of based on the chili paste flavor. I just got that from Wikipedia. But, yeah, I remember that. And I think that, yeah, that guy who invented these, I was like, eh, whatever. I'm, you know, I'm doing well.

They also mentioned this article that last year, this is as of 2016, Hoi Fong Foods brought in more than $80 million in sales. Right. So no wonder Tran has no regrets.

Yes. There was also some issues, though, with the – I think I'm right about this, too, although maybe you can fact check me again. You're my guy with the computer, as they say in Spider-Man. But I think there was also some –

parents were seeing um the aristocats you mean his aunt right um yeah whatever yeah i didn't mean that to be dismissive of what you were saying i was meaning it to be my knowledge of any of these like you know superhero marvel universe dc whatever is so scant i well i'm not even it hurts me to even say these things because i'm so wrong about all of it i'm i'm flopping

around here too though i mean neither one of us can really save each other when it comes to the comic book stuff um although i have less of an excuse because i've seen more of it than you but um any who's was i thought there was also an issue with one of the sriracha factories somewhere in southern california that uh was i think creating some sort of air pollution sorry i shouldn't laugh you know that funny that funny topic of air pollution but i'm pretty sure there was a neighborhood nearby where it was like there was too much pepper in the air well that's interesting because i mean it would be uncomfortable but if i was going to get if i was going to have pollution i think i would want sriracha pollution over you know carbon monoxide or whatever you know whatever like you know coal factories are putting out or other things also don't you feel like we don't use the term air pollution anymore do we not it just seems like a very 1980s you know we talk about climate a lot we should talk about it more um we talk about pollution i feel like we've sort of dropped air maybe because it's implied pollution i mean you can pollute the waters you can pollute the ground i guess but like i just you hear about pollution i feel like we don't use that we also

don't use the term acid rain and that's what i was going to say acid rain i haven't heard in a really long time by the way i would like to say i was right about this and again tying it to my time in la friday uh april of 2014 sriracha hot sauce factory declared a public nuisance this is from the bbc a california city has declared a factory which produces the hot pepper sauce a public nuisance uh area residents complained of the odor and i say it that way because i'm reading it from the bbc odor um with a u in there uh i can't tell if it was like a pepper i thought it It's more like it stings, stung their eyes, but maybe that's not the case. I mean, that wouldn't be fun.

There's a reason why pepper spray is a thing that you can use on people and bears. So I don't want to make light of it because it probably is. I mean, look, if you walk outside and you're getting hit with what is effectively pepper spray, that would be kind of awful. I also do like spicy food, though. I wonder if sometimes it would be a little bit fun to just kind of open your mouth and just get a little hit of sriracha.

It does say it stung their eyes, caused coughing fits. But this is interesting. It happened during August to October. That is the annual pepper grinding season. So they were grinding peppers during those months. And those are, you know, kind of hot months down there. It's going to be very hot.

It's going to be very uncomfortable for everybody.

Anyway, there you go. Andrew, bad news.

What's up? 6.20 p.m. on the Rod Arquette Show. Oh, no. Carl Markowitz, opinion contributor to the New York Post, joins the show to discuss why U.S. citizens should demand our leaders admit and apologize for getting it wrong about COVID. I had a feeling that was going to go so well. I retract my previous statement. That guy's a

complete deal. This is probably it's only 90 seconds long, so I guess how bad could it be? You brought up Shrek before, of course, and I don't know if you've seen the movie Shrek or not. It's quite charming. I've never seen the movie Shrek before, um but our friends over at the deadbeat film society were doing that's a podcast based here in seattle and they were doing something based on um the movie shrek they love shrek they're doing a whole show about shrek or something on an anniversary a few years ago and they asked us and genevieve and i if we i don't know what they wanted they wanted us to give a tribute to shrek or something but i had never seen it before so again this is several years ago i sat down with Genevieve behind microphones to tell her what I think the movie Shrek is about even though I've never seen it before and then Genevieve I think if I remember this correctly has seen it and tries to set the record straight although we may have just both confused each other I don't know here hi Andrew and Genevieve here from the after these messages podcast Shrek I have never seen Shrek I know very little about it Vives have you seen it I've seen it one time long after it came out but

also a long time ago. Sorry, okay, so

that's all the build-up. Luke, if you want to, you can buzz when you hear me say something wrong and ding when I say something right according to your memory of it, if you want. I'm just trying to, I'm already regretting hitting play on this so now I'm trying to figure out ways to sex it up.

So, here we go. So we've got, let's see, how do we get this one? That's if you get it right and You can just make a fart noise with your mouth if you want. If you get it wrong it's this, I guess. Okay, here we go, back

to the table. Okay. I'm going to tell you what I think it might be about, and you tell me if I have anything right.

Okay.

It's about a troll, a troll guy. No?

I mean, ogre, I think.

Okay, so he's an ogre guy. He's living during the Middle Ages?

Yeah, I mean, effectively. Okay, he's green. He's green. You got that one.

Okay, and he's got a crush on a lady ogre.

No, not really. I mean there is a love story Fiona hold on pause

stop the show I think you're right about that I believe Fiona is I don't know what I guess I guess ogre is the term I don't know what kind of life form Shrek is but I think Fiona is she's the same color as him I believe she is also from that life form background I And this is all coming back to me now. I think Genevieve is going to add some background on how she ended up in that form, though. It's not the driving.

But it begins with him being like, I think he doesn't want to know anyone or talk to anyone. He wants to be left alone. And then he meets a donkey that's played by Eddie Murphy. And then he meets an ogress.

Ogress. That's the proper word.

And then they fall in love. But then there's like a twist, which is that she is a beautiful princess who has been cursed to look like an ogre.

Oh, but he was born an ogre. Yeah.

But then when the fell finally wears off, she stays green and unconventionally beautiful because beauty is on the inside.

All right. Oh, good. I actually, I forgot how that movie ended, Andrew. And I was I was sort of winding up to ask the question, could you make that movie now? Because I thought that I mean, I'm being totally serious here. I like don't remember most of the details from that movie. And certainly the you know, for many, many years and generations, all of the fairy tale movies were about someone who was conventionally beautiful, but was cursed to not look conventionally beautiful for one reason or another. And the whole plot was to get back to being quote unquote beautiful. And I don't think we talk about Physical beauty in the same way anymore Rightfully so So I was all ready to say You can't even make Shrek anymore But I guess you can Because the plot is that She decides that she loves how she is Even though it's maybe not What's considered conventionally beautiful

That's what it sounds like to me Again, I haven't seen it Honestly, that little piece of tape And then your addendum to it Is the most I know about Shrek I guess I didn't mention The little ears and horns But that's the entirety of it Well, there's something else

We talked about this I don't know, a while ago a year ago or so it didn't the tape did not play up pay off but I learned not that long ago that the original voice of Shrek was Chris Farley oh yeah I forgot about that but you did tell me about that on the show and he had I believe they recorded the entire film or maybe they recorded most of it and then he passed away it was anyway he obviously didn't end up playing the role and then they had Mike Myers do it and he did the whole movie like you know playing Shrek and then he thought I think it'll be funnier if Shrek has a Scottish accent so then he went back to the studio and said I want to rerecord all of Shrek's stuff but make him have a Scottish accent and I guess they didn't want to do it because it was going to cost them a bunch of money to sort of reprocess everything and I guess he talked him into it or whatever and this iconic character

was born but it certainly went through a lot of different permutations it does make you wonder Whether or not the Waynes would have been such A big fan of the film Had it been the non-Scottish Accent version Absolutely or would they have taken a different route Down that alley and then there's no Batman Because they're so happy They take a different route exactly

Right I mean this is Real butterfly flapping its wings Stuff Andrew If Chris Farley Is the voice of Shrek Do the Waynes Is it even a popular movie Maybe it's not that popular The Waynes don't go and see Shrek They're not at the movie theater They're not in the alley They live out their life

Yeah Bruce Wayne is just a soft

Bruce becomes a crypto investor

He's become some asshole Winklevoss I'm tempted I'm getting tempted to see this movie I know I've been making fun of the trailers quite a bit It looks like not a very good movie

I'm so invested in this journey for you From making fun of the movie to really talking yourself into going well oh did i already mention that to you that i'm thinking

about going well i do like i like sitting in movie theaters like i like eating popcorn i like sitting in movie theaters i just like that experience so it's a pretty low bar for me these days as long as it's not something that's like so cringy that i can't sit through it right um so uh like what was that uh owen wilson and um marry me was it j-lo is that who's yeah yeah marry me yeah marry me anyway like i wouldn't sit through that like you use something else that's not from arrested development i can't made a rom-com it's called i just blew myself i saw you know i'm whenever i ask anybody who has seen the batman how it is the first thing they say is well it's long which that that's never did we already talk about this on the show too like they say about tbtl actually you're right maybe that's a maybe i should look at that in a different light because when I when that's the first thing you say about a movie like that's a that's an interesting commonality amongst viewers of this movie well it's long

so you get your money's worth right well you know better for the snacking how long does the popcorn last you not at all

I was thinking about you because you and I had this conversation a couple of months ago and then I went to the movies I believe the weekend after we had this conversation and you mentioned that like you'll go in you'll eat some of the popcorn and then eventually you want to transition pretty quickly into some sweets you say you don't even eat all your popcorn man I think it's because I over butter and over salted because I want it to be wet Andrew didn't know you liked having your popcorn not dry you know you like to get wet though

I want that popcorn to have so much of that quote-unquote butter topping, like butter, B-U-T-T-R, as they legally probably can't call it butter. I want so much of that on there and then just a buttload of salt that it's very satisfying for like three bites, but then it's like too much. So it's not that I am the picture of restraint. It's that I ruin the popcorn. It's why I can only eat like five bites.

I think we just kind of like to gorge on different things, because the way you describe that sounds wonderful to me. Like, I am so full of salt by the time I leave the movie theater. I'm absorbing the moisture just as walking. People pass me with their sodas, and it's halfway gone just by walking near me with it because I've absorbed it through the air. Cows are approaching you like you're in a field in Montana. Horses are licking my face as I leave the theater. Iodine deficiency. But no, I power through it like I will sit there. I get the biggest popcorn available, even if I'm by myself. Is that true? If I'm by myself, I might go with the medium. But if it's me and Veeves, certainly it's going to be the big ass bucket that you could jump into Scrooge McDuck style. And I am eating the majority of it. Or wear on your head if you're in Guns N' Roses. And usually I am down to about, let's say it's the big, big bucket. like all but maybe a quarter is gone before the movie even begins and that's usually when i set it down on the ground for a little bit and i say okay daddy needs a break and then i watch but you are watching the 20 yes exactly in fairness to you you're there an hour before the movie starts or what i'm doing is i'm i'm heckling the new v and saying you're not as good as the 20 i'm drunk as a skunk in this situation um and uh yeah no i can and if i if i'm by myself and i just have one of those medium bags of popcorn, there is a very real possibility that there is no popcorn left by the time the opening credits are rolling. Again, I can't overstate this. Like I can eat

an entire large pizza by myself and do it on the regular. And I don't feel great about that decision, but I am really able to consume very, very large amounts of very calorically dense foods there's just something about movie popcorn that i just hit a wall with it which is just which is strange because again there are lots of things that i will eat lots and lots of you've seen me almost fight the server at din tai feng because they didn't believe that i was going to consume like four steamers of xiao long bao by myself like there's just something about movie popcorn that it's my eyes are always bigger than my stomach yeah but you do say that you also like

To then move on to a sweeter treat Which I don't, I have no desire I have no desire to have milk duds Or thin mints or anything like that There's a point in the movie where Genevieve transitions To that, I think Maybe Raisinets Raisinets might be her move actually, one of those And those just don't appeal to me Raisinets are one of those things

That I only eat at the movies And also, because we have fully transitioned Into elder care On this show I probably have about two more years of being able to even eat milk duds in me oh yeah like just from a dental from a fillings perspective from a dental perspective i i i don't think i'm going to be able to consume milk duds much longer because those things are just like filling pullers i luckily i don't go ahead go ahead if you want to like clean out the the cup holder in your car just roll a milk dud around in there will attract every bit of detritus like that thing is so i mean then you leave a bunch of chocolate behind actually that's a bad idea don't do that yeah it's not how you clean your car okay

i was gonna say you know i could put that in spotless on monday but i'm gonna need to maybe

test that first did i tell you that a guy tried to fight me at the car wash last weekend no and it was it was fascinating we really have to go to a break we have dazzling donors to thank we have music for your weekend we have a lot of things to do that we're not doing right now andrew but i it was a beautiful sunny day and my car hadn't been washed or cleaned in a long time and so it was like a saturday so i swung through uh one of those kind of car wash deals where you pay them a little bit of money and then they kind of do it for you you get out of the car and well so this is the thing there's like four or five lanes at this place And I was... I was debating what I wanted to do because one of the lanes was just you just go through the car wash. You stay in your car and go through the car wash. Just traditional, the automated brushes, the track that moves the car. Okay. Yeah. Some dudes in there that do some scrubbing, but, like, you never leave the car. That's the express. But the car hadn't been, like, vacuumed out. And these people do a really good job. Like, it's very satisfying if you want to drop the extra $20 to go in the other lane, which is get out of your car. hand your keys over go have a cup of coffee and read the little nickel while they just like take it from there and then your car comes back and it's been like hand dried and it's very sparkly and beautiful so i'm sitting in the line i'm trying to think how much time do i have for this and it was a nice day so the line was very very long and i was sitting in the express line and then i was like you know what you've worked hard this week burbs you've earned it go for the go for the full the full service so i put my blinker on and i just i'm the car is parked i'm stopped all of the cars are stopped but the lane next to me has an opening and so i start moving my car over and somebody just lays on their horn a guy who was pulling into the the whatever the car wash thing but he was nowhere near me and he was just mad i think because i was getting into a lane that he wanted to be in and he was now going to be one car back in the line but he laid on his horn so i stopped and he went in front of me and then i pulled him behind him and i did do this was kind of kind of not maybe the most mature move but i just looked at him and i kind of put my hands up like was that necessary like did you i mean because again the there no car in this situation was going more than half a mile per hour we're not on the freeway change you know i totally get if someone's like coming into your lane on the freeway you got to hit the horn so you there's not an accident and so i kind of put my hands up and i kind of look at the guy like really that was unnecessary and then i'm just sitting there like whatever and dude gets out of his car and a couple of things were striking one he was wearing a matching ron john surf shop hat and t-shirt i didn't even know they sold those anymore i remember when my friend peter williams took a

family vacation to florida in like 1987 were you in florida why did you not mention that he came

home with a he was he came home obsessed with two things jimmy buffett music particularly the song cheeseburger in paradise good and ron john's surf shop you know those were the those were the two coolest things to him and then by extension me at age 11 in seattle washington personally having experienced neither of those things but i was like those are cool i love the way like you

know rich kids spend the summer in europe and they come back and they say i call elevators lifts now and that's annoying in its own way and then the rest of us go down to florida and we come back singing cheeseburger in paradise with a backwards ron john wearing a ron john t-shirt this guy was

fully decked out in ron john and i was like it's such a laid-back vibe too totally and then here's the other thing andrew and again we were talking earlier about fairy tales and and body types and and we're, you know, we all have, we're all sort of in different bodies. But what I was struck by was this guy was extremely diminutive. I would say he was probably 5'2", and he was very, very wiry, which is to say this was not a large individual. And I didn't even get out of my car. I just rolled my window down. I was like, everything okay? And he was like, you almost hit me. And he was like, I got it on camera. I've got cameras on my car. Do you want to watch it with me? I was like, absolutely not.

Do you want to come over? We'll make some popcorn. I heard you're like, milk duds. Yeah. I'll eat most of it. Because I hear you only eat part of it. I feel like this is a key in people's skit. By the end, you guys are like, it's five years later. Your best friend's still yelling at each other. But we yell at each other. That's our love language. I think that is a skit. Maybe it's Kids in the Hall or something. I don't know. I was.

I really all I could think was how has this been working out for you in this body being the kind of person who gets out of their car and comes back and confronts people like had he been six eight I would have been like okay this is gonna be bad news I'm locking the doors I'm like I'm getting out of here but he was not a person who looked like it was gonna go particularly great For them if they were going around town Picking fights with people at car washes It was a very odd Experience you know And

Being Rageful and again this is my least favorite Quality but like feeling Feeling like I've been bullied on the Highways and byways of this country Is something that I've struggled with and It's really the bullying on the byways Right I mean I understand a highway Sure but it's the bully you Can you write down, as I try to finish my thought, will you write down bullying on the byways as a possible show? I believe that is a Bob Seger song. It certainly is. Wait, that's a bullying on the bayou, I believe. Well, that's Dr. John.

But anyway, so I understand that, like, you know, especially in cars, sometimes it can trigger something and road rage is a real thing. But what I was going to say was it doesn't surprise me that the person who is super triggered in this situation is somebody who has cameras in their car. You know what I mean? Because if you're somebody who's driving – and I'm not trying to make it sound like everybody who for some reason has a camera in their car is looking to get into a fight or suffers from road rage. I think that it makes a lot of sense if you drive a car for a living or you drive your car for a living. You know, I noticed a lot of Lyft drivers and Uber drivers will have inside and outside cameras. That makes a lot of sense, I think, from just a kind of protection standpoint. So there are good reasons. But also, you know, there are people who just have cameras in their car because they feel like people are taking advantage of them on the road all the time and they can go to the tape. You know, I mean, there are reddits, there are subreddits filled with this like instant karma, which I've told you about as a subreddit where somebody does something real a holy and then they get theirs. And often that is dash cam footage of people, you know, cutting somebody off in traffic and then, you know, flipping over their car in the median or something and quote unquote getting what's coming to him.

yeah i bet you anything that this is a person who's kind of viewing the world in that way because it was the his reaction was way was sort of like disproportionate to what was going on in the situation and it was kind of and i'm not trying to fixate on this guy's sort of diminutive stature but it was good it was good because it went from being an aggro situation where it was kind of like i don't know if he would have been like roughly my size and i was a little more triggered maybe i get out of the car to kind of like you know chest bump like some angry monkey or something but it was like the ron john outfit and the fact that i just felt like this wasn't a real physical threat to me it just totally took it just made me not mad it made me just kind of like um you know sort of perplexed which was a way better state for me to be in oh and also

And all, like, triggered and, like, I'm going to try to fight this guy. And that's the way you own somebody anyway, like, is by being cool in a situation like that. Like, you matching his energy kind of means that he's created that energy. He's created that environment, and now you're being pulled into it. You just being like, what? No, we're fine. Goodbye. I did. It drives him more up the wall, I'm sure.

I did end up backing out of the line and leaving, though. And the reason was because what was going to happen is we were going to both like turn our cars over to the folks at the whatever it's called wash man. And then there's this like, you know, there's just this area where everyone's just like sitting around waiting for like looking at their phones, waiting for their car to come back. And I was like, I don't want to just be like sit stewing in tension with Ron John over there. so and again I was sort of I was I was I was slightly torn about the whole thing because I didn't have a ton of time I was going to pick Becca up so I just like backed out of the line I went to the like Chevron across the street got a car wash for four dollars vacuumed my own damn car Andrew stopped by Ace Hardware bought some armor all wipes and uh Bob's your uncle job done

As they say, nobody's ever said that ever once in the history of the world.

It ended up being a way better situation. It was cheaper. It was faster. And my car's all clean and nice still.

This is I mean, I don't want every single conversation like this to turn into what I'm about to say. But I keep on getting little small moments of bullying on the back roads of excitement about moving into a house. And as I was pulling boxes out of the car the other day and I looked at where the hose is and the driveway, I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, like this has been cut. The idea of washing my car in a driveway has not or even vacuuming my car because, you know, in all these apartments I live in, like I've never really had a driveway. It's street parking. I park about a block away from our apartment right now. I don't have an extension cord that long. Like actually, there are times where I guess I've taken my cordless out there, but it's not great, you know. But now I can just like park my car in a driveway And wash my car like gee Listen to the baseball game Oh my god shirtless Glistening in the sun

Well okay Snapping a towel on another hunky man Possibly in a Ron John hat Doing a windmill high fives Spinning a

Like a volleyball on your fingers. Wait, how's that involved? Shamming. Now, I'm just going to say this, Andrew, and I can't. First of all, I want to apologize in advance that I'm going to say this because it's not a good dynamic between us. And also, but I want to, I feel like I'm trying to anticipate what the listeners are going to say. But will you do me a favor in this fantasy and in real life? Will you buy some kind of car wash soap that is not bad for Puget Sound? because everything this is like there's a certain like people are like down on washing your car now because the the runoff but they sell you know simple green they sell all kinds of stuff that you can wash your car with that doesn't harm nature but i'm just i'm anticipating a couple of listeners being like well by the way uh you know that runoff goes into you know the sewer which goes and drains out into the rivers and and and puget center um no just by you saying that

means i'm gonna get the most toxic stuff possible no that is something that i hadn't thought about i mean i guess i should look into that i guess the now i mean it's one of those things where ignorance is bliss now that you say that fine i know that's why i apologize in advance i'm doing i'm doing the paul rudd stomping about bit from wet hot american summer fine no i should look into that you are right i can again i have not washed cars like really because like since i was a kid And I hated it. I mean, that's the thing. Like, that was one of the tasks I had to do. Although it was eventually the very first task that I got any kind of payment for around the house. Like, all of the, I'll call it, labor that I did growing up around our house and the yard and picking weeds and waking up on Saturday mornings to lists of things that would keep me busy from sunup to sundown. I loved it. This is why I never wanted to own a house, I think. Honestly, I think that's one of the reasons I didn't want to own a house for so long. But then I didn't get paid for any of that. But then at one point, my parents started saying, well, hey, if you want some extra work, because who wouldn't? If you wash mom's car, we'll give you $5. So I'm pretty sure that was my first paying gig was my mom would pull her car into the actual yard, into the backyard, which as a kid, that was exciting. Seeing a car where it shouldn't be was kind of exciting. And I would just wash the hell out of it And I'm trying to think if she had white walls on her car Because I remember that was a big thing that I hated doing Getting the SOS or Brillo pads And like scrubbing the white walls Until they gleamed again But then I get a five spot for that

Yeah, I think I Generally stopped washing my car I feel like maybe when I lived In LA, sometimes I would But there was a point at which I was like i'm a grown-up and i work a variety of jobs and this is something that i can have someone do a better job at it and it will cost me ten dollars yeah especially in la i really that's yeah one of the things i miss so much about la is good car washes yeah what la has figured out about the car culture there is they the car washes are really good and they have valet everywhere so there's no parking in LA but every restaurant has a valet and it's like five dollars so it kind of it it helps because you don't have to worry you know to me for many years like oh you're in a valet your car what are you a Rockefeller but like if it's five that's you know that's an extra basket of chips or something and so that was kind of really convenient about LA and you're right they have really solid car washes there I should have something I got out of the habit of washing

my own car you know you we should have talked about this when I lived in LA because you're putting that in a better the valet thing you're putting that in a better kind of context for me because i that always irritated me about la as it's like no i just you know well you know me anyway like i don't even really i prefer to walk or take a bus somewhere anyway but um i just i always hated the idea of having to be forced to valet park there and you're right it probably wasn't that expensive like i never really checked it out for me that was always an irritation like no i'll just find street parking like i don't need a valet here but if i just looked at it more in that in in those terms like it's not that much more and it's actually a convenience of la i'll bet you i could have i bet you i would have had a better time yeah i miss it in portland and

seattle like when i moved back to seattle i was like why don't they have any valets on capitol hill um because it's just not the not the culture as much in seattle so all right we are 29 seconds

i believe from the river andrew oh my goodness gracious how did that happen i honestly how did

that wait a second you have a plane to catch what the hell yeah i know well once we start talking shrek and now i'm i'm inclined to just let this um well i think you're hosting you're solo hosting

the rest of you want me to do music for the for your weekend by myself is this a way of just making me responsible for any kind of

Spotify pull-downs of our show. Yes, it is. We did it. We made it to an hour, Andrew, before our first break. So let's take that break right now, and then we will be back with more TBTL in a moment. Will we?

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These donors are dazzling us with the delivery of dough that they're doing on a monthly basis.

Pretty good. I'm excited. There's some performance that you're going to have to do here, I believe.

I just saw that.

Uh-huh.

Our first dazzling donor is Katie O'Connell, pronounced in Luke's Irish accent, please. Katie O'Connell. I mean come on

You nailed it

Everybody You Everybody saw that coming You nailed that What you really have to say is Pronounced in your best Connor Mulcahy Yeah Katie O'Connell Of Chicago, Illinois Now listen I have to just say like A Katie O'Connell Ah toy toy toy A Katie O'Connell In Chicago, Illinois If Katie is not A 12th generation police officer In Chicago, Illinois I don't know who is That's an extremely Chicago name I mean you know there are all kinds of Ethnic backgrounds in Chicago but this idea Of a highly Catherine Mary O'Connell Of Chicago Illinois

The river just turned green as you said that

Yes it did A beautiful Shrek green Hey you know what that's about Katie says I'll be a dazzling donor As long as the co-bros keep Bro-ing it up The sounds of nonsensical chatter, mostly about Shrek, fills my heart and my ear holes with peaceful delight, lots of laughs, and the occasional phone-throwing moment. Like, when? When would that possibly happen? You know, I've been listening to the rebooted or the new version of the gist a lot, Andrew. And I was listening to it this morning on my jog, and it's so funny. It's so funny when I go on the other side Of the experience Because Mike was talking about baseball And he was just talking about sports in general And he meant to say Clay Thompson the player for the Golden State Warriors But he was calling him Clay Thomas

Who's another person right Isn't Clay Thomas somebody

I think Clay Travis is a bad sports take hammer And I'm on the treadmill And I'm like out loud going Clay Thompson Clay Thompson Whoever else is in my apartment in gym kind of like is this guy okay so it's so funny because when when we get something wrong and the listeners tell us that they're gonna throw their phone i think okay everyone relax and then when i'm the listener and i'm hearing someone misspeak i'm like get it together well

here's the thing and i don't want to be defensive during during a dazzling donor message but like i understand that everybody get defensive everything you just said makes sense to me but I don't get things wrong That's the thing That's what ticks me off People will say Oh I really threw my phone During this segment And it's like That's fine I understand If I get something wrong I will own it But so far In doing the show with you I haven't gotten anything wrong That's why I get frustrated No and that's fair I think that Katie's Talking mostly about me I'm sure I mean that makes sense But I get I get looped in You know

Katie says It's been a while Since I left a drunken voicemail On the TBTL listener line But it feels way overdue So hopefully I'll have another run-in with Janine Garofalo or another TBTL fan favorite and report back. You know, Katie, St. Patrick's Day is coming. I just say you get out there in Chicago, you hit up Rossi's, you say hi to Ramonski Love, have a couple green beers and leave us a message.

Yeah, absolutely. The phone line's always there for you, 206-414-8285.

In the meantime, peace and love to you two My imaginary best friendos And all the tens Ah, peace and love to you as well, Katie Thank you for supporting the program Maestro

On your mark On your mark Get set Get set Now ready Ready, go Everybody rattle, dazzle

Everybody rattle, dazzle Our next dazzling donor is Bron Moore Of Lakewood, Washington Did you say Bron? Hi dummies My first request is for Luke to somehow mispronounce my name

How did I already forget? How did I already forget the first line? Bron Moore, not bad.

That was hard. I was going to go with Brian Morey. You've got to get up really early to screw up the name Brian Moore of Lakewood, Washington. But I tried. Brian. Secondly.

I want to plug my favorite charity, Whisker City in Shoreline. It's an awesome no-kill cat shelter. Right on. Finally, a shout-out to the TBTL community. I know that neither of you are on Facebook, but the Stens page is really the only part of Facebook that is not terrible. This is what I've heard, Andrew. I have heard this. That's nice. Also, Luke has brought up that a person went to the boat show But didn't pay several times I did pay But I was ill that day and didn't go Essentially that person Used my ticket so there was No scam I don't know I don't know what's going on So I thought that was building some kind of word Joke like that Then it was that was going to be some sort of word Play so hold on Luke has brought Up that a person went to the boat show But didn't pay several

Times in other words you mentioned several times that a person went to the boat show didn't pay it's not that somebody didn't pay several times by the way one quick thing about this because i don't want brian to feel bad brian

submitted boat show our show we did on the boat yes brian submitted a dazzling donor message and

then later on emailed and said hey i wanted to mention this as well can you somehow mention this thing about luke and the tbtl at sea show is what we're talking about here um and so i inserted this in there so maybe in context it's not working as well as I could have well what's funny is

when I hear the boat show I think of like the boat show they would have at the kingdom the boat show the boat show you've got to do the boat show whatever it is whatever you need that's what so I thought Brian was talking I thought Breon was talking about going to like the boat show at the Tacoma Dome or something well first of all that jingle

was amazing I don't think you've ever pulled that out before or I've been asleep when you did that was amazing Secondly, I have a problem with the boat show because it conjures three things for me. Like you said, when I just hear boat show, I picture exactly what you're saying, something at the Convocation Center. In TBTL context, I think of it as either the time you, me, and Kamero Kev went on the high seas of Lake Washington in your boat and got into some misadventures. That was often referred to as the boat show. Then years later, we did a live TBTL show on a boat in the Puget Sound, and that is also referred to as the boat show. So it's confusing.

I thought you were going to say when you hear the boat show, you are filled with a bad feeling because remember the technical times we were having? Technical times. Remember? We were trying to get the speakers working. Oh, I had a buzzy speaker, a Ruth buzzy speaker.

Tweet that, Ruth. Yeah, there was some, we had some, and then the feedback was kind of an issue, and we really did jam a lot of people into a pretty small space. I think everybody ended up having a good time, or that seemed to be it, but I remember we were very nervous about, that was the last leg of our little mini tour, and it did seem like there was a lot of pressure, a lot of people, small space, feedback issues. I believe there were some sort of audio. All the Costco pizza you could eat. I know. One of my favorite things about that was this photo of Genevieve and Broadcast Barry leaving Costco with just like hundreds of pizzas.

It was like there was a lot of people there, a lot of people. And I think there was still pizza left at the end.

Yeah, it was good pizza, too.

Which tells you how much pizza there was.

Oh, by the way, big news in my life. We are now Costco members, too. We're just going full suburbs, man. Oh, my God.

Do I need to get the guy from the insurance commercials out to counsel you on not becoming your dad? Yeah, I know I am. I just, it's happening. No more talking about parking. Rick. Yeah, Dr. Rick. Brian ends by saying, final request. Please play the, they was trying to say I was drunk, drop. Love your show. I got that here. Power out. If you need. Oh, you got that.

Yeah, because I forgot to give you a heads up so I can play that. I've got it here, too. Oh, do you want to play it at the same time? There's a small delay on the – Well, it's going to be off because of – let's try to play it at the same time. So I'm going to say 3, 2, 1, and then we go. Don't do it on one, but 3, 2, 1, go, okay?

But I think I have to go before I hear 3, 2, 1. I have to go on like 2 because – Oh, that's way too soon. You're recording things in Seattle. There's a delay. I'm going to be behind you, so I'm going to go at 2.

No, but I need to use your recording anyway today, so it will sync up perfectly. So let's just go 3, 2, 1, and then go, okay? In fact, this is how I will sync up the show today. It'll be perfect.

Okay. So it's going to be like three, two, one, and then we click it, right?

Three, two, one, and then we click it. Don't do it on one, but okay. Okay, you count it down. You guide me. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. Hey, Johnny, how about a beer?

They were trying to say I was drunk eight beers yesterday. That was all I drank.

I knew it. I had the wrong. Was that me or you who played the wrong one?

No, that was you. I thought you.

I thought you were just cat-rolling me. Hey, Johnny, how about a beer? No, I pulled the wrong one. It was a real mistake. I thought I had that one labeled beers. I must have, because this was back in the day before I was meticulous with my naming. I'll bet you I have one named beer and one named drunk. Anyway, sorry, everyone. Do you want to fulfill our dazzling donor? That's so much better. Do you want to play in the clear? No. Sorry. Did you hear me almost sneeze there? on the air. That's why my voice cracked, by the way.

Everything is falling apart. I think that's exactly

what Brian paid for. Okay, let's do it. I won't stop mine. I'm going to do that again. I'll play my beer and you play your beer. We're going to do it again. Wrong one. Calm down. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. Hey, Johnny, how about a beer? I was drunk. I drank eight beers yesterday. That was all I drank. Okay, there you go, Ron. You're welcome. Dumb, dazzling donors.

I hope that's what you paid for. All right. Let's do a little music for your weekend before we get out of here. Sorry we didn't get to Pat Sajak. The listeners are probably happy we didn't get to baseball, Andrew, because I just want to start talking, you know, who our number three starter is, which is not interesting to most of our listeners. But anyway, maybe if it's still kicking around the Internet, we'll talk on Monday about Pat Sajak.

Yeah, keep Sajak on the list for Monday because I have stuff to say.

Did you see what I did on the show sheet To try to kind of zazz it up

Yeah I like that I don't think you did I was wondering how that would translate Into your top show patter I also think I misspelled hypocrite I don't know how to spell the word hypocrite

So did you just do that to make me laugh I wrote like H blank P blank I tried to make it like It was a wheel of fortune thing But I literally don't know how to spell that word Like without spell check So I bet you if you actually tried to fill in the blanks It would totally not work

I would put a Y in there, an O in there, and a T in there. That might...

I mean, that's what I was trying to do. That's what I... Anyway, we'll talk about it on Monday.

Yeah. Okay. What song would you like to play for the listeners? I would like you to guide me now, Luke. I have downbeat, midbeat, and upbeat.

What do you want? I'm trying to think. My song is bossa nova beat. So maybe... Do downbeat.

Do downbeat. Okay, sounds good. Because, yeah, in fact, this is good. Because this is probably the last weekend that I would play this because this is I was thinking if, you know, spring is almost sprung here in the Pacific Northwest. But if you're still somebody who kind of likes that winter feeling of of walking around in the rain, feeling your feels, this is one of the last weekends where you get to do that and listen to this song while you do it. This is by a musician who goes by the name Babe Hoven. I'm assuming I'm saying that correctly. I'm not sure. It's one word, Babe Hoven. and I want to say they are – I'm going to talk slowly and draw this out. I can't remember where they're from. I want to say maybe – oh, you know what? Portland, Oregon, I think. Maybe you can look it up while I play this. This might be somebody – if I'm right about that, this might be somebody you'd be interested in potentially getting on the show at some point. I can't remember their name off the top of my head, but they perform under the name Beboven. They have a relatively new record out, and this song is called Get Better. I believe it's Maya Bon. I was going to say I think it's Maya. They are based in Hudson, New York. Oh, really? Then who was I thinking of? The Portland of New York State. Huh. I was looking at three songs today. One of them was Portland, and I was going to recommend you get them on the show. I'll have to look that up and send it to you later. Anyway, take a listen to this. This is Babe Hoven with Get Better. Again, you're splashing around in puddles as you walk. Think about it. Got it. Okay. Got the visual. Former lovers.

You look like you're tired I don't know how I got a lonely fool Somehow I just keep going There's always who's going to be Someone who's better than me I know I'm trying to be better

I don't know how

You know, Babe Hoven started in Portland, Oregon in 2017 and has now relocated to Hudson, New York. So it's driving me a little bit bananas because I thought I saw that. Anyway, nice, chill, chill vibes. Very nice. Very beautiful.

They are playing Atlanta, Georgia tonight, if you hear this. Oh, nice. Birmingham, Alabama, New Orleans. They're going all over. They're going to be at Tree Fort, which is a cool festival in Boise. They're going to be playing Bellingham. Oh! Salt Lake City. I'm sure that Rod Arquette will be there. 323 in Salt Lake City, Utah. So, yeah, look out for them, Babe Hoven.

Are you doing anything with the Thing Festival this year? No, I'm not, and people have been asking. Because your face is on some of the promotional material, I think, and so I wasn't sure if you were doing something with Livewire.

This is the worst photo of me ever.

Oh, I didn't.

It's like one in the morning, and I'm interviewing the Napoleon Dynamite. It's like one in the morning on Sunday. I have to get up four hours from then, drive to SeaTac to fly to Minnesota to meet you. Yeah. And I'm like wrung out from a weekend of thinging. And like, I know it's like it's the most unflattering picture of me I've ever seen. And I've seen some unflattering pictures.

Well, for what it's worth, that wasn't my takeaway. I didn't really notice that. But I was like, oh, maybe you're doing something with LiveWire. No, I'm not.

But because of that, a number of folks have been like, oh, cool. And they're asking, oh, is TBTL going to be a thing? I'm like, not that I've heard. Yeah. But I'm glad. I mean, I love those people that put it together. So I'm more than happy for them to use my face in their promotional materials. But it feels to me like that's a disincentive for people to go to that festival.

I love the first article I read about it. And, of course, I really do not think that anybody was even thinking of us when they were giving these quotes. because I don't think we really moved the needle much too much with our smallish audience doing TBTL live at Thing Festival versus, let's say, De La Soul. But the kind of headline announcing that the Thing Festival is coming back is, well, we threw a lot of things at the wall last time, and this time we're really trying to hone in on the things that worked. And I was like, oh, that's why my phone isn't ringing. Oh, well, that's definitely about us. We're one of the things they threw at the wall.

Right, exactly. I want to play a song that I just heard this week. I believe it's from probably the 1960s. It's from a Brazilian artist named Erasmo Carlos. The song is Grilo, which is Portuguese for cricket. I looked it up. And this just came on some kind of playlist that my daughter made, kind of for like vibey morning. You know me, I'm a sucker for any kind of pleasant song that's in a language I don't understand, Andrew. That's really my sweet spot.

I'm just, not to correct you, but just for the record, I'm getting Grilos. I think it's Grilos That's how it's listed on Spotify For what it's worth Okay so Grilos

Which I I'm Like I said I'm pretty sure that means cricket Or grasshopper Or something like that But it's also from An album called Sanjas y Memorias 1941 to 1972 Which makes me think Maybe this is like A greatest hits Album from old Erasmo Erasmo is not young And he also Looks very much Like the guy From I Think You Should Leave Who says he admitted he's bald he's got kind of long white hair he's from South America he might be the guy who doesn't want the steering wheel to queef

out your window you love your mother-in-law I can't do the voice is that the joke because he keeps saying that you love your mother-in-law well he he keeps accusing Paul at some point

yeah because the other the normal guy in the in the focus group suddenly becomes the object of everyone's scorn and it was like I do like my mother-in-law

He immediately Anyway

That guy Also known as Erasmo Carlos This is Grilos This is my music For your weekend The Vietnamese forces

Reinforced with a new troop Continued with the counter-attack

Thank you. It's a lot of kilos, don't hold me a hand If I ask you to cut the grills Cut the grills Cut the grills Cut the grills Then you'll convince yourself That if the world weighs There you go, love it, Grilos, it's a vibe, right? Yeah, I love it, and I love the, well, actually, we're going to be mixing this down into mono, but I love the stereo separation I'm hearing in my ears. I've been listening to this whole, this Sanjos e Memorias, I've just been listening to this album, it's really good. Again, I have no idea what he's singing about. And some of the songs are just instrumental. Some of them have lyrics, but it's just a real nice spring day kind of vibey record. So I would recommend Erasmo Carlos. Our listener recommendation is from Listener Mike, who says, Hey, friendos, Lucy Dacus has a newish single out called Kissing Lessons. It's a snappy little two-minute ditty that never fails to put a smile on my face. So that's what we're going to go out with. Do you ever take kissing lessons? I give them, bro. I'm doing a master class. At the car wash? If you sign up for master class, that's what I should have done. That would have just blown the guy's mind. I get out of the car, and I just give him a gentle kiss on the lips. Get back in my car, and then just stare at him through the window. Like, what is his reaction? Or if you're taller than him, you kiss him on the top of his head. Now, that would be like a sign of aggression. I'm talking about just de-escalation through just a little light kissing. All right. Let's go out with a little Lucy Dacus. And thank everyone for being a part of TBTL this week. Thanks for hanging out with us. We will be back here on Monday with more Imaginary Radio for you. Until then, have a great weekend. Stay safe. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

I asked her how to win my men, and she said, I know just the thing. Gave me lip gloss and a hair toss, and after school, a lesson in kissing. She called me by the name of her crush. I couldn't decide if she was cold or justin'. I think I called her baby or darling, and lost the time. We'll be right back. That's not helpful. Shut up, Paul. You probably love your mother-in-law. I actually do. Oh, my God. I made it. Power out.