Muse

Hello friendos, this is Sophia reporting live from the mobile gas station on 108. Just here to tell you I had a Maria Menounos sighting on my gas pump and she was telling me all about intermittent fasting. Over and out.

TBTL. Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?

Do you want to sing the Friday song?

Friday, Friday, gotta get in on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. I got a great night planned and as soon as I get the show out of the way, we'll be all set. Why don't you try to throw a little enthusiasm into this job a little, huh?

I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon, I'll try that again. A man has, can we just go back to the very start of that? I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it. I just came here to hit dingers and have a good time. That's about it.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. This is the part where I play this audio drop.

LOL, laugh out loud, OMG, oh my God, WTF, why the phase?

My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host.

I'm starting to feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party, and it ain't flattering, I'll tell you that!

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where I had cued this audio drop-up, maybe just mostly out of hope. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. It really was just beautiful as I was doing the sound check before the show, but in those eight minutes, very dark, stormy clouds have rolled in and are now hovering over the 503. But that's all right, because it's warm and dry right here inside episode 3,658 in a collective series.

Let the fun begin.

Much to talk about on this Friday. I don't know if it's a lot that the listeners want to hear about, but I want to talk about the fact that today is the first day of baseball season, at least for the Mariners.

The crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd. That's right. Baseball's back.

And it's got me feeling enthusiastic.

I feel happy of myself.

Speaking of sports, we've got some team songs that we want to play.

Hey, want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

We were talking about the Cleveland, I don't know when it's going to feel natural to say the Cleveland Guardians baseball team. But the Cleveland Guardians put out an official song recently, which had pretty heavy, like, Fallout Boy Imagine Dragons overtones to it. And it got us talking about team songs And then a lot of listeners sent in The songs of their teams And so we're going to play those today For you And we're going to do all that Plus, oh by the way, music for your weekend It's Friday, all that You probably know what's going on We're going to do all that with the help of this young man The longest running cobro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions Of the tall ships He has recently moved his barbecue From inside his living room to outside his new house in the sweet cream district of Seattle, Washington. He is Andrew. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. Walsh, and he's joining me right now from the aforementioned part of the town of Seattle. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. The lawn is mowed, my friend. You did it. The lawn is mowed. You did it. I kept thinking of something.

So you used the plug-in lawnmower yesterday?

I did. I knew that I was going to have to use that, you know, at least temporarily until I get a lawnmower that I like. And, of course, I'm talking about the lawnmower.

So how we're different, my friend.

Oh, the lawn needed mowing so badly. Like, I couldn't wait another day.

Oh, I would have just be-lined it to Home Depot yesterday right after the show. Like, I mean, that—well, please explain. How was the lawnmower experience?

So the lawnmower experience, so for those who are just tuning in for the very first time, Hi, I'm Andrew. I moved into a new house recently, and all the other listeners are sick of hearing about it, so I'm really, really glad you're here to hear the stories afresh.

Has somebody told you they're sick of hearing about it? No, I just assume. Okay, because I don't, you know what? When you assume, Andrew, I don't know if my nieces might be listening. I can't finish that idiom, but I love hearing about your new house, and I believe the listeners do as well.

I hope so. I got a hose. That was the biggest thing, is just having a hose. I talked about this a lot on Spotless. Like, there are so many things as an apartment dweller that you need to, like, kind of hose down or just, like, don't fit in your sink. And so you're doing things in your bathtub that you should never have to do in your bathtub. Like, just, I don't even want to talk. It'll gross you out. There have been times where I've had to, like, you know, if you're. in between like moving or something you need to clean out a litter box like you know you've scooped it you've emptied all everything out of it but it's still a litter box that's gross and dirty you shouldn't have to clean that in your bathtub right but when you're an apartment dweller without a hose access that's that's what you're doing in your tub and it's terrible and you got to scrub your tub and it makes you sick and sad like just having a hose that when i when i was moving here i could just take the litter box outside hose it down let it dry out in the sunshine i mean that's a game changer luke anyway um you know i um so the place that i bought up in southern washington i have uh i have a hose there and i also have one in the storage unit in bellingham from some of my stuff from burbank springs broadcast center meaning you guessed it

i've got hose in different area codes i cannot believe he just told that joke that's almost a

show title but it's a little too risque for my taste but just spell it h-o-s-e i know no that's how you spell it but i don't know anyway you were saying oh anyway so the hose thing that was just an aside um but um uh yeah so when we you know took over this house we inherited the lawnmower that was in the in the garage and unfortunately it's the kind that like it's not like an electric lawnmower that has a nice battery like all the cool lawnmowers are these days like this is the kind that literally has to stay plugged into a wall and I was not looking forward to using it and it wasn't the most convenient thing like obviously a lawnmower that has to stay plugged in all the time is kind of a pain in the ass to use but it wasn't as bad as it could have been and my god man our lawn needed mowing so bad and just and then what I also discovered is there's like a I've been calling this thing a weed whacker my whole life but I realized that's probably antiquated that's probably a brand name from the 80s what do you call it just a trimmer an edger I've called it Kleenex. Weed eater? Brand name. Oh, brand name. Sorry. Yes, that is. I thought I was missing some joke about using Kleenex. Well, you were. You were missing my amazing joke about things that we say that are, would this have worked better? I call it a Xerox. I mean, now that I get it. I call it whiteout. I was trying to figure out how you use tissues to trim the lawn. I just was in a different, I was just in a different place than you. I'm sorry. You know, honestly, I mean. I cannot believe he just told that joke. The proof of the joke is in the pudding, i.e. the response. And so the fact that that totally went past you tells me it was not a good joke. Stop the tape. What you're hearing is a bad joke from Luke. You know, our friend Hauser sent us, or as you call him, J-Dog, I believe, sent us a list of, like a listicle thing of brand names that we use generically, sort of like that Kleenex example. Because we played that tape that was like, stop calling it Velcro. Yes, exactly. It's hook and loop, technically. And I'm wondering, you know what I'm realizing? Vaseline would be on that list, too, huh? Because that would really be petroleum jelly. Oh, yeah, you're right. And you said Xerox. Now I'm opening the list. What else do we have? Velcro. Oh, they have to add. Oh, here. Dumpster. Dumpster. Whoa. It was trademarked from 36 to 2008 by the Dempster Brothers. The Dempster Dumpster. Hauser Man, when you bring it, you bring it. J-Dog, you've done it again. J-Dog, this is so much better than my lawn mowing story. Ping Pong, generic name is Table Tennis. So somebody owned, do you think that was because it sounded like ping pong? Do you think it was the sound of the ball hitting the paddle, maybe? I think so. It was Escalade Sports acquired the trademark. Wow. The dumpster thing, though, that's blowing my mind. Dumpsters dumpsters styrofoam Styrofoam Luke this is Amazing styrofoam it should be

Styrofoam kind of makes sense to me We've said it so many times That it seems like a thing but it has a Very clinical name polystyrene Is the if I'm pronouncing that correctly Polystyrene foam is the Generic you grew up calling it polystyrene foam I did not but I did grow up Calling our bouncy houses A rebound tumbler because apparently That's the generic name of a trampoline a rebound tumbler way so somebody owned or owns trampoline a young gymnast named george neeson came up with the idea of a tumbling device that he later trademarked as a trampoline he came up with a term uh from the spanish word trampoline which means diving board oh i see because of the motion i was gonna say you know trampoline is kind of a crappy name actually for that thing like if you you know if you just like showed up on another planet and you saw a tramp what we call a trampoline or i'm excuse me a um what rebounding circle yeah rebound tumbler if we saw a rebound tumbler and you bounced on it you First of all, how would the word bounce or jump not be part of the name just from the get?

A rebound tumbler?

Like a rebound tumbler. I mean, well, no, trampoline is the one that I feel like makes no sense. I know you gave the kind of like Spanish origin, but even so, trampoline, that just seems like an odd name if you invented that thing. I just feel like you would call it the bounce thing, or the fun wee, or something. The trampoline just seems like an odd kind of, again, clinical name for this thing that's so much fun and has so much bounce to it. The jump enhancer.

Yes. I've been getting emails about that recently. How about a show title, The Lady is a Trampoline? Okay. Thermos is not a generic term, Luke. It's a vacuum flask. But it sounded like, I just heard an ah in your voice Like you want to move on, so I don't have to keep doing it

Well no, I just have thoughts about your lawnmower

And I actually think this could help you in your life Okay, go ahead

Remember when we were on Maybe it was the Vaniversary show Where we were driving around for 24 hours Actually, maybe that wasn't it There was a time when we needed to have a power source In a vehicle we were driving for a team Maybe it was, was it actually the um maybe it was the delica shows i feel like they make power packs now there are batteries that you can charge that will have a ton of oomph and are not you know sort of overwhelmingly large could you have instead of buying a new lawnmower if you're if your uh electric lawnmower worked fairly well yesterday outside of the cord situation could you get a like battery that you kind of like wear you know around your hip like a fanny pack that has enough juice that you can just plug the lawnmower into it so you are basically the power source bubble wrap is really

bubble cushioning you got to be kidding me that's a really interesting idea luke i'm not kidding i don't think it would be worse worth the investment and and the and the hassle like if i was really in a position where i was really dedicated to keeping this lawnmower but like if you get an expensive battery if you get an expensive like what would that even be called like a um a universal power supply ups i think universal universal power supply um like that's that's an interesting concept i love the idea of it having it as a backpack or something too so i look like a ghostbuster mowing the lawn but um i think it would just be easier like a lot of people are getting at me saying hey listen you can get these new relatively affordable little battery operated lawn mowers that i recommend by the way that's that's another thing they left us was this is what got me on this conversation the i guess lawn trimmer weed eater kleenex whatever you want to call it that one is purely battery operated and i gotta say i grew up with like motorized trimmers right i remember like pulling that string until it would start priming it you know it was a two cycle like two stroke engine exactly trying to mix the oil and the gas And, you know, this thing is light as a feather At first I'm like, I'm not going to use this toy I don't know, I just kind of grew up on a farm Not on a farm, but out in the country With like, you know, in the 80s And I was just like, what is this thing? But it did a great, great job And so I mowed the lawn Genevieve has a line on a used lawnmower That she's excited about buying I think a gas power one She was going to pick it up today But apparently plans have changed But anyway, but, you know The plug-in lawnmower did a better job Than I expected it to Even on this really long grass, I was able to get more than I even intended to. The lawn is not very big, by the way. If I didn't have to plug this thing in and move it around, the actual lawn mowing part is probably a 15-minute job. I don't need a power drive on it either. There's no hills. It's a very, very small lawn, and mostly it's just kind of navigating around other things and then doing cleanup later. the fun part of it though was I was thinking about you because what I sort of did was I mortgaged my Friday by spending all Thursday afternoon like I knew the weather was going to be nice yesterday and I needed to get this lawn work done and I thought well I'll do it over the weekend but then we've been hearing that the weekend weather is going to be rotten so I'm like you know what like I'm just going to you know I probably got out there by like 2 o'clock yesterday I had a lot of stuff to do but instead I pushed it all to this afternoon that I'll be doing probably during the Mariners game but i knew once i started doing some lawn work like it became a whole thing like first i'm mowing then i go to trim and the trimmer was out of uh out of the line line so i ran to lowe's and i found it i thought i wasn't gonna be able to find the actual like the specific brand gauge yeah gauge uh because it comes in this little um it comes on a spool that is specific to my trimmer Is it a Ryobi? Is that what you're working with? No, it's a terrible brand called Works, W-O-R-X.

I don't know if it's a terrible brand. It's not a brand I had heard of and I thought it might be. But they actually had it. I think Works is the Ace Hardware generic brand or one of those kind of places.

But they sell it at a competing hardware store.

Did they sell the whole thing or maybe they sell the parts for it? Maybe they just sell the replacement schools. It definitely works as one of those. It's a generic brand of some store that I'm misremembering. Onesie. You can't say onesie anymore.

It's got to be an infant bodysuit. thanks a lot obama you can't say onesie anymore um anyway so i i went to home depot here's the one mistake i made so i go to home depot i'm super excited i'm looking at like kind of generic line because i couldn't find my exact brand on the specific spool that interacts properly with my trimmer and so i'm like maybe i can just buy this stuff and rewind it on the old spool which isn't really how you're supposed to do it but i really want to get this work done then like the clouds parted in the lows somehow and a shaft of light came down and landed right on the bottom shelf where i wasn't looking down by my feet the the perfect replacement pack for these spools that i needed and then i was feeling good i was feeling really high uh off of that experience so i was like you know what i'm gonna do i'm that place where i was pulling up all those weeds along my side yard where it's like i got all this like kind of i don't know what you call it somewhere between gravel and gardening stone, you know, this little stone area that runs between our house and our neighbors along a pathway. At one point, you know, somebody had laid down stone, but then nobody really took care of it. So it had tons of weeds coming up there and just like grass, you know, like networks of roots and what have you. And I had started picking at that and pulling it up and it was leaving some spaces where there wasn't enough stone there anymore. And I was like, well, that won't do. And I just had good luck with this spool thing. So I'm going to take my cart. I'm going to see if I can find more gardening stone, right? And so I go back into the gardening section, and the guy says, oh, you probably want the white marble stuff that's back there. I'm like, yeah, I seem like a white marble kind of guy. So I grab two bags of that, heavy as hell, throw it in the car. I'm just feeling so good. I cannot wait to pull up the rest of these weeds and then lay down this stone. Well, this was my one mistake. Not all gardening stone or whatever you call this shit is made equal. This stuff is bright white. The best way I can describe it, and I don't know if this is relatable, but, like, it reminds me of visiting my Chacha Donna's house in Wheeling, West Virginia in, like, the mid-'80s. Like, it is just, like, bright white stone.

That stuff is kind of in style again. Is it? Yeah, that, like, it's not, I want to call it moon rock, but it's not called that. But it's, like, overly shiny white decorative stone.

And once I pour that down and I'm like, oh, this, at first I was like, well, it'll just, like, it'll weather and it'll become, like, the other stuff. I'm like, oh, shit, man, no. This looks bad because now I've got like kind of half of it is bright white and I tried to spread it out and thin it out and it looks crappy. So I got to go back to Lowe's today and buy at least – I'm like – I'm just in for a penny, in for a pound now because I can't have like half of this thing be this bright white and the rest of it be this old dirty stone. So I just got to go in, buy three more bags of this stuff and lay it down. But aside from that, Luke, weeding, I was pulling up all these gardening stones and pulling up places where the lawn was basically just encroaching into the garden. It's not even like weeding anymore. It's almost just like landscaping. I was doing it all, Luke.

Doing it all the ways. Is there a possibility that the previous owner of the home or someone who lived there was Canadian? Potentially. Because I'm at the works website, wrx.com. So I was trying to figure out why do I have this weird association with that brand because I used to see it around in Bellingham sometimes, and it always seemed to be fine quality. But in my mind, I was thinking this is the store brand of something. It's not Ace Hardware. There are no works stores in America. They're all in Canada. so if you go to the works store locator and you put in seattle as your locator you get one in abbotsford one in richmond a ton of them in victoria it appears to be a canadian brand are they are any of them next to a boston market let's let me open up my list let's hold on let's overlay these two data points can i get my works uh weed whacker or what do we call weed whackers uh trimmers edgers weed trimmers tissues you know

some people call them weed eaters oh yeah weed eater that's what i grew up saying weed eater but now i guess i've been saying weed whacker huh i think weed eater is a misnomer though because they don't eat the weeds they whack them yeah and they spread them around if they collected it then they're eating it an escalator isn't supposed to be called an escalator it's a moving staircase

You know, here's my, you know, not that I'm, you know.

Ed Hume, five of the listeners got that reference. He was like, before there was a Cisco, there was an Ed Hume in the North, who's like the Northwest gardening expert. But what I like to do is, I do all of my weed whacking before I do my mowing. Because when you weed...

I wouldn't do that, yeah. You wouldn't do that? No, I should say, sorry, that came out weird, like I was telling you your business. I just meant I don't do it that way.

Because when you weed whack, it also creates loose grass so if you mow everything and then you have this like little mullet of grass around the edges that you couldn't get to and then you weed whack now you've created more loose grass whereas if you weed whack first and then you mow the mower vacuums it up and then

there's no loose grass yeah that is interesting because i mean that's what we do with painting right you paint the edges first right then and you like you cut in and then you do the the the wide part with a roller whatever you can slap the rest on um there's something yeah it hurts my brain to think about doing it that way but you make an interesting argument certainly for once for once damn life um yeah no i mean that that does i i think i would fear that and a lot of fear goes into lawn maintenance with me i think i would fear it's a fear-based system that i wouldn't really get it all that doesn't really make sense i don't know my brain just kind of It's like when I'm mixing audio in a digital multi-track piece of software, if I'm putting somebody's voice over top of music, the music always has to be on the track below the voice. Of course. It makes no difference. It makes zero difference in the final product. But the idea of putting the music on top and then putting the voice on the bottom, it makes my brain hurt. That's kind of what weed whacking before mowing does to me.

you have pressed my flabbergast that's the perfect analogy and also i never realized how much to me and like eight of the listeners who are also radio producers you're absolutely right never in my life of producing audio have i put the music track above the voice track or the whatever that's always the foundational element of the thing i'm doing would you hire somebody

who did that which if you were running like a production house or something and somebody comes in to do like a little tryout or something you see that they do they usually get out get out

right now that could be again it would be extremely niche but that could be on those like what what was the kind of youtube or the memefied thing of where people were like cutting a cake but not perfectly in half oh yeah oddly frustrating yeah yeah yeah mildly infuriating What about just like a public radio producer mildly infuriating feed that had things like the music bed above the spoken word on the sound editing software?

Teleprompter is really a queuing device, Luke. Don't say teleprompter anymore.

See, teleprompter, that one, again, I don't know why this is where I'm going with this, but teleprompter makes sense to me that somebody was like, we got this thing. What are we going to call it? Teleprompter. We're like, okay, but the guy that was like, trampoline, I'm like, what is wrong with you?

What about Hacky Sack? What do you think? Do you know this? What do you think that Hacky Sack's generic name is? Footbag. Footbag, indeedily do.

Do you know that, I mean, Hacky Sack comes up kind of an odd amount on this show, but do you know I was very into Hacky Sack as a kid?

Yes, I do know.

Very, like, would spend many hours practicing my Hacky Sack tricks?

Yeah, no, I had friends who would do. i mean hacky sack was big in the 90s first of all like it was just like you would people were doing hacky sack all over like you know outside the school in the parking lot you just see a group of kids and they'd all be hacking i was never good at it i enjoyed being there it was kind of like karaoke i enjoyed being there but i was never really good at it yeah exactly i mean i could maybe pass it along without totally ruining the game but that was it i wasn't like bouncing it

off my knees or anything there was a move that um i remember the smell of a hacky sack because they were typically leather at least the ones that you know we had in seattle then later there was the kind of more like crocheted one yeah like the head shop those are the ones that i was familiar with yeah the ones that we were working with when i was young were like i think kind of maybe like the legit what is it called again what's the real name actually we were working with a hacky sack but what was the foot bag foot bag we um it was like it was almost like a tiny soccer ball it was well actually no it was more like a baseball thank god i finally worked baseball into today's show it was two pieces of leather that were sewn together to create this little kind of you know obviously sack and there was a move that i learned from my friend ben McGow where you could pop it up and then you would sort of

of like squat down very fast and let it fall sort of between your legs like more or less in your crotch area so now that's the hacky sack is resting against your actual sack if you're a dude and then you sort of jump up like um i don't know like some kind of russian dancer and you spread your leg so that the hacky sack falls through your legs but then you kick with with your like right leg really fast and you pop it back out over your back so you kind of like catch it jump up and

then pop it back over and that was like my over your head from from behind your back over your

head to back in front of you more or less sort of over your over your left shoulder let's say yeah so you catch it you squat down you jump back up and as it's falling you pop it back up i remember that being my like i'm new to this hacky sack circle i'm gonna let them know that i'm legit that was my that was my sort of um you know show off move of hacky sack which is as i hear those words coming out of my mouth i feel extremely sad rolled up on your unicycle and you said i'm gonna show these guys how it's done it's so weird that i don't really see these themes in my life until we talk about them i'm not even kidding like the kid who was also unicycling the kid who had a hacky sack move so as the kid who was in the backstreet breakers and the kid didn't you didn't you have a dreads phase i wanted dreads so badly but i didn't have the patience so i had my friend melissa goodman um braid my hair like i was in the band crisscross oh right we that was when um we watched the movie a boy and his dog starring a young don johnson and sat there and she i mean took longer than the movie but she spent like three or four hours braiding my hair into whatever you would call those braids because i heard that if you got that done and then you just left it it would turn into dreads which makes zero sense but i thought it was the fast track to having dreads but that was as close and then like two days later i took

them out that's the way you can ask how long you had them yeah yeah but i know i mean a picture and I'm not even by the way I'm not really in a place to make fun I mean it's fun to point this out and I assume that you are you're here for it but if I'm at all hurting your feelings I would stop but a picture does start to emerge of the person who's interested in that kind of hairstyle who is into hacky sack and unicycling and what was the other thing oh and what was your breakdancer too at one point

I feel like breakdancer is the outlier in that whole thing but what it was was i wanted to go towards anything that i sensed was counterculture anything that was kind of it's which the funny part is i was it's amazing i didn't get into disc golf but like anything that seemed like oh then the the normal predictable people are doing x i want to do y anything that made me think that's where i was going was what i was into do you know even though the things the why's i was going to were also like broadly accepted into a different

social group do you know that there's a disc golf course in north seattle it's been there since

the place where i used to go when i was a kid to we didn't have you know health care when i was a kid so we would go to the public health place which was a whole adventure because it was also in a building that also i think was working with folks that were i guess we would now say mentally ill or, you know, neurodivergent. And that kind of thing really stressed me out as a kid. I just didn't have a lot of experience with it. And I remember going to this public health place for my like football physicals and things like that. I remember there was always a huge jar of condoms because it being public health, they were like, we got to keep these poor people from procreating as much as possible. We're just going to throw contraception at them when they come in the door. And I remember stealing these condoms when I was a little kid, not because I knew what they were for because i had any use for them because i identified them with sex and by stealing i mean just taking a handful of them when like the nurse wasn't looking and then bringing them home and like unrolling them and putting them on my bed and being like that is something associated with sex um what did you do with all the clean needles i i didn't get hepatitis andrew is what i did with the clean needles that's what i didn't do but i remember that place very vividly for for the reasons that i've specified uh and i also remember that it was adjacent to that disc golf

place you're talking ah interesting yeah i haven't really been there i know some people who go there um and i've been invited and again to go back to the karaoke situation like i have zero zero interest in playing get disc golf i don't know why i mean i'm not saying that like i'm judging people who want to do this like do it to it like good for you it's good to have outdoor hobbies For goodness sake, I just have zero desire to do it. But do I have some desire to have a six pack of Coors Light and just like hang out with the people playing disc golf?

You know, I see a lot of disc golf on TikTok now. Oh, really? Because that's my window to the world. And there are some pretty amazing... The thing about disc golf that I have, and I know we have listeners who are way into it, so I'm not trying to yuck their yum. But the thing about... I wish that they had picked a different name. This might be a Frisbee issue because I don't like the term Ultimate Frisbee.

It's not really a Frisbee, Luke. it's a um hold on i have it right here you can't say that no joke it's a novelty flying disc um

i i don't like ultimate frisbee the name even though the game of throwing the frisbee and running and catching it that seems really fun and like a really solid workout like i'm for that sport i don't like the name ultimate and i don't like the name disc golf because it's not golf and they call the different kinds of discs they call one a putter they call one a driver they basically overlaid the golf terminology on the different kinds of discs they throw now as to the actual sport it looks really fun and on tiktok i'll see there are some of these um you know disc golf courses that'll be like so the um you know the thing you're trying to throw it in i'm sure they call it the hole but i'm not going to give them that satisfaction like imagine that the chain yeah that chain basket imagine that's like 50 yards from you but where you're standing where the where the part you throw it from which i'm sure they call the t again not today disc golf enthusiasts you're standing on like the t and there's a bunch of trees that are like in your like that are basically between you and where that basket is and you got to do this crazy throw where like curves around the trees and drops into the basket or you know like there's all these kind of obstacles and watching these people that are super duper good at this just make this disc I mean just do amazing seemingly like violating laws of physics things is pretty cool like I think it's a cool sport or a cool activity I just wish that they wouldn't have gotten so wrapped up in

trying to make it golf you were for a second they're getting i thought really close to some um coffee talk territory uh disc golf is neither disc nor golf talk amongst yourselves um discuss right um yeah no i love i love just tossing the frisbee around it's something that i uh would do with my dad a lot and growing up i had um i guess we it's not frisbee it's novelty flying disc um i had one that literally wasn't a frisbee brand it was i believe easy glider i'm looking it up here i can't find it because there's a million things that go by easy glider from shaving products to to porch swings bedroom enhancement to marital um but uh i am going to look for a picture of this for the show because it was a ring instead of a being a full disc it was like hollow in the middle and it had certain slats and boy could that thing carry and i used to love playing you know i guess frisbee with my easy glider uh with my dad it was a real bonding thing so i like that i don't i and again i'm not judging people who like to turn it into more of a full-fledged sport but again i have zero interest in turning that into ultimate frisbee as they call it or um or disc golf like to me the there's no ends to the mean there it's just like you're just tossing it back and forth that's good enough for me but i've always kept my ambitions in check did you ever have an arrow be

that like no i don't think orange it the arrow b was the stuff of legend when i was a kid because it was designed by somebody like in palo alto and it was basically like a circle that you could throw and it supposedly had the record for being the thing that had been thrown the longest the furthest oh okay anything uh-huh so it was like you know you had the frisbee kids like i was a frisbee kid or a whatever off-brand frisbee we had but but then you know the cool kids the kids whose parents went to college would at some point have an aerobee like it was the it was the public radio of frisbees although frisbee is the public radio frisbee is the frisbee of public radio but like there was a certain kind of dad who was like maybe i don't know like worked at microsoft early who would get his kid an aerobee because he was like well if you're gonna throw something you might as well get the thing designed by a um stanford scientist that you can throw the furthest yeah it was a real like arrow b as a class thing i think someone should write a paper on that not me because that would take work and i've got to watch the mariners today but somebody should write the paper on arrow b as a class distinction because only the rich kids that i knew and not even rich but just the kids whose parents probably read one parenting book before they were born those were the kids with arrow bees and then the kids like me just had a frisbee that somebody found like you know behind a schoolyard well Well, Dr. Spock had that famous chapter in his book that said it was all based on flying novelty discs. And it said, you know, Aerobee is the way to go. If the Aerobee is crying, do not pick it up. It has to learn how to take care of itself. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever shake an Aerobee. Did you guys have those billboards around here? No idea what I'm talking about. Let's move on. Never shake a child. Yeah, exactly. I found it. So I was wrong about several things, but also right about several things. I found the exact Easy Glider, as I called it before, on eBay. Surprisingly expensive. I can buy this now for $17. It's not an Easy Glider. It's an Easy Flyer. And guess what? It is an official Frisbee product from Wham-O.

Man.

What was it like to be rich growing up with name braids? I sent you a picture of a Sonic named Vladimir Rodmanovich. His hair is exactly what my hair looked like when I got those braids from Melissa Goodman.

And this is around the same era, I assume?

Sadly for him, he was doing that many years after I had moved out of my crisscross phase. But when he got that braid job, I was like, oh, yeah, that was me. That was me five years ago. I feel like today's show pick needs to either be an Aerobee Sprint, which I can buy for $8 on Amazon. You know I'll be clicking that into my cart later, Andrew. Either that or Vladimir Rodmanovic with his braids.

Oh, is suddenly the easy flyer, which I've already downloaded, is just being edged out by your childhood? Well, you know what, Andrew? I'll do a composite. Send me the aero flyer thing. Aero B sprint ring outdoor flying disc. Send me a picture. I will put that back to back with the easy flyer. That will be the show pick, and the basketball player will have to have another day.

Is it ever going to be Vladimir Rodmanovich's day, Andrew?

Get me a show title.

is it ever going to be vladimir rodmanovich's day again this is shout out to my sonics fans who

will appreciate that reference sounds like a scott van pelt segment or dan lebitard or something or

someone who's going to be on with chris hayes tonight from um uh miripol a lot of vladimir's in our life and also i feel like zielinski i was certainly saying his name wrong i was just calling him vladimir zielinski because i thought that's everyone's name but his name is like

volatomir yeah volatomir it's spelled differently which is the only reason i know i also feel like

the the um discussion on if it's we were all calling it kiev until this happened i know that famously there was a like sort of online twitter dust up with npr about kiev versus kiev but i just kiev really won that one like we're no one's calling it kiev ever again but we were all

a year ago i would have been like it's kiev right well back in 2014 i remember i think madeline brand corrected me because i kept calling it the ukraine still like they're always changing things up over there by the way i i just found a frisbee easy flyer this one's orange not yellow still in the package luke nobody cares do you this is an arobi family how much do you think this is in the package a 1981 vintage whammo frisbee flying ring the packaging is amazing actually this should be the show pick it's uh okay it's a bubble wrap thing with two kids are playing with it and it It almost looks like the one is catching a spaceship or something. I'll send you a picture of this, too. Oh, my gosh. I bet that's going for $80. Wow, close. $85. Buy it.

Keep using your plug-in lawnmower. Buy the Frisbee. Take the cannoli, buy the Frisbee, deal with the lawnmower. And then you and I can just play with it.

Andrew, you had an Aerobee. You had. No, look at the packaging. frisbee easy fly i know but i'm saying this was frizz this was google aerobee okay what you had

was frisbee's answer to what the guy in palo alto did base i promise you if we if we did a

oh yeah i've seen these aerobee things before these aerobees are much um thinner though these things are just barely rings where the the easy flyers look at the color look at the shape what

i promise you what happened was whammo was in their big factory i assume everyone that worked at whammo was smoking a cigar all the time and wearing a short sleeved collar shirt um and they were just like the frisbee boom will never end and then they heard about this upstart aerobee thing and they were like we can't let them steal some of our market share so they made a thing that looks very very similar to it i mean i know what you're saying there's a difference in thickness etc but the aesthetic of the two things is remarkably similar and i bet you this was whammo's attempt to not have the Aerobee steal so much of their business.

I am on Wikipedia right now, and it says that actually Dr. Wham-O created the Easy Flyer four years before Aerobee stole their plans. That's what it says on Ask Me.

I just love Dr. Wham-O. He's got bubbling test tubes that are like... I just think of what he got his doctorate in. Fun! I did my dissertation in fun! Okay, let's take a quick break, and then we will be back with whatever's left of this TV show. Can Dr. Wham-O be the show title? I am going to be laughing all weekend

Dr. Wham-O was my father We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle Razzle-dazzle That's right man, razzle-dazzle On your mark Get set Now ready Everybody razzle-dazzle

Hey let's thank some dazzling Donors These are the wonderful Generous donors that are dazzling us With their donation of dough This is the highest level of donation that we have as a regular thing, and it is extremely vital to the mission of us not getting fired. Yes. Starting? Certainly is. That's the main mission that I'm committed to, Andrew, is the mission of—and although you, being my colleague, know that I'm only lightly committed to that mission.

Well, you don't want to overcommit.

No, no. I've never been guilty of overcommitting to anything. um brent martin in los angeles california our friend brent photographer extraordinaire visual artist stylist just all around talented human being and dazzling donor which i i think

of as one of his greatest qualities it should be the first line of his linkedin page certainly

Once again, my CPA at the accounting firm of Decoy Bates and Switch Require the following message to continue To count my donation as, quote, advertising God, I gotta get with this Decoy Bates and Switch people, Andrew I just paid my taxes yesterday Uh-huh Brutal Yeah I do not feel like the people at Safstrom and Company are doing me right

Well, you're doing too many, you know you're doing so many jobs that aren't traditional uh you're doing too many 1099s right i'm doing too

many 1099s and i'm when i do a 1099 i'm like you know what i should do is just put all of that in an account somewhere to cover the taxes i have yet to pay on the other maybe 1099s that i was fortunate enough to to to deal with um but i also just feel like my account is not sketchy enough

yeah that's my complaint you know it took me a second to get the joke here decoy baits and switch did you get that right away i'm sorry i i did not get that because i was like that's weird and then i was like oh there it is now i get it that's i need to get i need to get

with a uh joke accounting firm that will let me write off more stuff i feel like my my folks at saftram are and this is what you know what keeps me out of uh what irs jail is that if left to my own device like do not ever let me near turbo tax by myself yeah i will be like one of those incarcerated people that's filing like 50 tax returns where they're claiming 1 000 deductions and the irs is just auto generating like a refund of 200 000 to lompoc or something that is i would wesley snipes it so hard if it were me but i can't because the people at saftram keep explaining to

me that no sir that is not a write-off well it's also just i mean the whole system of filing our own taxes here in this country is ridiculous and it's uh it's a scam so there you go somebody

again i i'm sorry that i start so many sentences on the show with i was watching tiktok but i think on tiktok or maybe it was twitter someone wrote what a weird system that the government is just like tell us how much you owe us and if you do it wrong it's a federal crime oh yeah it's totally

Because the lobbyists for the firms that make money off of this ridiculous system, it's like they should tell you if they're keeping track of all this, they should say this is what you owe. Like, it's just it's ridiculous.

I like the idea of a lobbyist just wandering the halls of Congress dressed like that weird statue of liberty or the dancing guy who is the old someone throwing an arrow, throwing a giant arrow, just walking through, you know, Longworth Senate building in D.C. Just like, I'm from the tax prep people. Anyway.

By the way, Decoy, Bates, and Switch is a Hamilton joke, though, Luke, in case you didn't get it.

It's a Hamilton reference. Oh, my gosh. I saw my beloved, beautiful, wonderful nieces last night, Maddie and Mary, because I came out to Livewire with my sister, Hannah. And it turns out all of my nieces and nephews want to go to Hamilton. And it's like, you still cannot get tickets for Hamilton all these years later. Wow. Like, or you can buy them for like $200 a ticket or you can enter a.

Lottery that Becca Was telling them about because Becca or Her sister won $10 I think this is a thing probably Lin-Manuel Miranda did which is actually Very cool Is I think that because Hamilton is so Sought after and because the tickets are so expensive Prohibitively expensive for a lot of folks If you sign up for this basically drawing That's not like a scam it's a real thing They just will give away a certain amount Of tickets and you just pay $10 which is the process product was a Ticketmaster or something and And Becca actually won them. Oh. But I was like, I had this, well, my sister Hannah listens to this. Hannah, don't say anything to Maddie and Mary. Actually.

Wait, they listen too, don't they?

Well, the cat's out of the bag. I was thinking, well, maybe I'll just bless these kids with some tickets to Hamilton, my nieces and my nephews, Jack and Abe. And then I went online. I was like, $200 a pop. Sorry. You got to get blessed by a richer uncle who didn't recently find out from Saftrum and Associates how much tax he owes.

You know what we have to do? I mean, I think that there's only one thing to do, which is you and I have to put on our own two-man production of Hamilton to make it more affordable for the listeners. That's the John Ronson movie I would watch.

Two broke guys who can't buy tickets for their nieces to go to Hamilton have to stage their own version of Hamilton. And who don't like Hamilton.

Have never seen Hamilton. Have never seen Hamilton. And I will speak for myself, absolutely cannot sing. Oh, shoot. We got to get back to Brent's message. But I want to say something. I went to a bar with Genevieve and a friend this weekend and Genevieve got up to do karaoke. Now, I have not seen Genevieve do karaoke in years now because the pandemic shut it down for a long time. And in the let's be honest, that's a Vives and Camaro Kev. Yes, absolutely. Long after Andrew has entered Andy. Exactly. After Anita and I have gone back to our own corners, those two will go out and do their karaoke. skiing but anyway Genevieve gets up there I hope this isn't embarrassing for me to say but Genevieve gets up there one hand in the pocket one hand on the microphone that is that a that's a I was like that's a Luke Burbank move is it not oh it's also a Camaro Kev move I guess you guys both kind of do that right one hand in the pocket one hand on the mic well often I have one hand in my pocket and

the other is giving a high five but when I'm not doing that it's I I don't ever know where to put my other hand yeah even like last night when i was hosting liveware and by the way thanks to everybody who came out what a fun night um but i'll i again i don't think in any universe i'm like johnny carson or something but there's so much about my childhood of watching people that were hosting these kind of like talk shows the physicality of what they did you know that kind of like johnny carson like pretend golf swing yeah yeah kind of hip thrust one hand in a pocket like There's all this physicality that I just thought was Carson, but what I realize now doing a very, very, very, very scaled-down version of it is it's just weird to be standing in front of people in a suit holding a microphone, and it's less weird if you put one hand in your pocket. It's just about awkwardness, really.

Yeah. I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is singing The Box Tops. All right. Brent's message. Sorry I got us off track.

Brent, whose accounting firm sounds like just the place for my next tax liabilities to reside with, says, Brent Henry Martin is a photographer of design spaces, creating images for interior designers, architects, builders, and other real estate professionals. He can be reached at his website, sugarhigh.ltd. On a personal note, thanks again for another year of japes, hijinks, and monkey shines. we gotta up our monkey shine rate Andrew I feel like we I mean it was a pandemic it was weird for all of us but I feel like we didn't monkey shine enough what is that I assume it's when a monkey gets into a barrel of beer and gets very drunk and then climbs out of it yeah I do need to do more of that like if you saw a chimp that was drunk comically drunk climbing out of a barrel and then kind of yelling at another chimp you'd be like monkey shines

I think they had one of those, the Pink Panther, another thing that made you uncomfortable there in Australia.

I'm hoping that the blurst of times is behind us and we can start looking forward to roadshows and meetups again soon. I also want to thank my wife, Anne, for putting up with conversations that start something like, my friends were talking today about, or Andrew and Luke were. Anne loves you both personally and professionally, but TBTL just isn't for her. I believe I've met Anne at a baseball game, and Anne was as lovely as a person can be, which explains why she doesn't go in for these monkey shines. Not going in for this, I believe, is one of the marks of a highly successful person.

Yes, and a calm mind.

A calm, healthy mind. She does like CBS Sunday Morning, spotless.

All right, well, God, Andrews. I'll take that. It's an Andrew W. Friday. Wait, wait, and really enjoys the occasional hot take on commercial breaks. Looking forward to seeing you both again in some capacity. Your pal in Los Pastrami Town, signed our friend Brent. I was watching something online about the oldest restaurants in L.A., and I guess it is the case that Philippe's and what's the other one? Basically the two places in LA that both claim They invented the French dip Pastrami made me think of French dip

Was it Kohl's? Was Kohl's the other one?

The specific dipping aspect of it So there's like these two places And they both claim that they literally Invented the French dip And no one knows Somehow nobody knows which was founded first So they're considered tied For being the third oldest restaurant in California

It's this classic You know, easy flyer Aerobee situation Nobody can figure out what came first

Success has many mothers But failure is an orphan, Andrew Thank you, Brent We really appreciate you And I look forward to seeing you in real life Although every time I hang out with Brent I really question all of my fashion choices Brent is an extremely well put together person And this is not on you, Brent This is on me But I go home and I think How do I dress more like Brent? Just schlub it up a little bit for us, man Could you? Next time I see you, Brent I want you to have a giant pastrami in one hand, some pastrami juice running down your face, and just less put together. Roll raids in your other hand. Oh, my God, dude. I just bought the hugest thing of Tums.

Yeah. Oh, yep. Check the calendar. Yep. 45. Yeah. 45 years old. Maestro. Oh, shoot. I'm on the wrong page. I was looking at arrow flyers.

You're buying Tums on Amazon? Get set. Get set.

Now ready. Ready. Go.

Everybody rattle, settle.

We've also got to thank Danielle Walsh in Seattle, Washington. Hi, Luke and Andrew. For my dazzling donor time this year, I'd like to highlight the work of a Seattle organization called GLSEN, G-L-S-E-N. They champion LGBTQ issues in the K-12 environment. They work to ensure that LGBTQ students are able to learn and grow in a school environment free from bullying and harassment. friendos please take a moment to learn more about glisten and consider giving to this wonderful organization the website by the way is glisten.org glsen.org and to you luke and andrew thanks for all the entertainment joy and phone throwing that's been coming up so why did we give that oxygen why did we put some oxygen in that fire yeah phone throwing i feel like these dazzling just because they pay for the show they feel like they get the right to tell us how much they throw

their phones people that's why people invented the aerobee because people were throwing their

phones and it was not it wasn't gliding what's the frisbee the easy flyer yeah exactly uh phone throwing that you bring me year-round my life wouldn't be the same without you in it ah danielle thank you and great shout out to uh glisten um i mean we we're we are very much preaching to the choir on this like you know the people that are hearing our voices andrew i believe are of the same mindset but when you think about what's going on in states where lgbtq plus people are are just the the the persecution that's going on uh towards that community in some places in this country is just it's so shocking to me i mean you know and like obviously reproductive rights another thing that's just like what planet are we on what country are we in there are just these things that just felt like okay we have at least agreed on these basic human rights for for lgbtq plus folks for women you know and it's like to see that stuff get rolled back is just it's so upsetting and breathtaking and so i i feel you know i feel really i guess lucky or privileged to live in a part of the world where that's still being championed um i know that the like abortion stuff is unrelated topic but i just i don't know it's been it's been feeling especially weird to live in this country of late which is really saying something because it's been very weird to live here for basically since 2016 um although maybe it's always been weird for people that weren't straight white males and i'm just noticing it but but and not we don't have to dwell on this

too much but also just like the ridiculous hypocrisy i mean i can't even think of the right i can't even think of the right word but the hypocrisy is that the people who are trying to take away these rights are the same people who would probably be the first ones to say you know freedom isn't free and land of the free and just like leaning on this idea of america being a free you know um and and and are the same people who are just trying so going so far to repress people's freedom that doesn't affect them at all under the guise of of under the guise of pure lies about protecting children and families it is disgusting it literally is disgusting it makes

my stomach turn yeah it's i mean this when you look at when you look at the issues that these particular folks are obsessed by whether it's like i mean you saw i believe it was utah right and the governor of utah i think who i assume is a republican's utah attempted to veto a anti-trans bill that was essentially saying we have to get in front of any trans youth trying to compete in a sport in a way that gives them an unfair advantage and i believe the governor of utah said like there's four kids that fall into the category that y'all are talking about and there's innumerable number of trans youth that live in utah and also that unfortunately deal with all kinds of issues related to how they're treated by society and it's a you know the suicide rates amongst trans youth is just off the charts like that's what we should be worrying about and then the utah state legislator said cool cool story bro and then just went ahead and passed their bill making sure that the like three trans kids who play sports can't play sports anymore like the idea that that is the um priority is just galling it's just astounding so anyway thanks to our donors of the day um for paying for that rant that probably nobody needed in their life because again i assume uh i assume our listeners are probably on the same page that we are anyway thank you for real though to our donors of the day for making today's episode possible wouldn't be here without you hello and welcome to top story all right andrew let's talk team songs i need to get i'm not hyped enough about the mariners that's not true i couldn't be more but i want to get a even more i want a lanyard of hype on top of the massive amount of hype i'm already feeling um with some team songs so what's the story on this so maybe we should even i'm

looking for this now i should have been better prepared it all began with us talking about a new song released by cleveland's baseball team which has been rebranded as the cleveland guardians right and i'm having trouble finding this dang you would think that if i typed in guardians in my email like there should only be one thing that i've got it here you want me to play yeah let's play a little bit of this so this is like what a brand new team song sounds like this was released by the team it was commissioned by the team uh performed by performed and i believe written

by various cleveland artists oh no you know what i think i'm getting horn swoggled by the cleveland

So that's what the song sounds like

That's the new Cleveland Guardians song Now, we got a note from our friend Jordan Listener Jordan, who I believe is now I don't know if he needs me to dox him or not I believe he's now a resident of the Portland area But he's a Detroit Tigers fan, and I believe he grew up in that area. That's my assumption because of his longstanding fandom of the Detroit Tigers. And he says, I crank this song all summer. It's so beautifully corny, and it's of its time. It's now a classic. Time plus tragedy equals classic. I say tragedy funny. I also love just the people watching in the video. I had the hat that a kid is wearing about a minute in. It's a pillbox hat that's white with blue stripes. It was my favorite then, when I was five. So enjoy this song. Pillbox hat is the, wait, isn't that what, like, Jackie Onassis would wear? That's what I'm picturing here. Let's take a listen. Let's take a listen to this. Here, I have the date. This is from 1984. This is from the 1984 Detroit Tigers. can you tell what they're saying and what they keep repeating and chanting no i can't what do i better tell you yeah because it's kind of an early version of a lyric video i guess they're saying bless you boys oh i should have probably said that the title of this is bless you boys

Detroit is gonna fight Tigers won't fight Get me to the bleachers Let's do it

Come on, cheer on There's a roar in no more town This song kind of slaps, honestly. Yeah, right? Yeah. I'm actually really into it. No offense, it's way better than the 2022 Cleveland Guardians song.

I think I'm a Tigers fan. Let you go! Got my tickets and I'm ready to go I got mom dancing Baby brother in tow Oh, I see. It's one of those hats that I would call it almost like a painter's cap. Like, one of those kind of very light, canvassy painter's cap kind of things.

Which were very popular in that era. I remember wearing a painter's cap, like, going to Chubby and Tubby and going into, like, the paint section. Because they just would have them, like, a Dutch boy paper cap that painters would wear, but being, like, it was in style at the time and snagging one.

You know what I had? I had one of those with the California raisins on it. And this is the exact era, right? 84, 85. And I was collecting everything California Raisins related that I could get my hands on. I had some of those little rubber figurines of them. And then I would collect the California Raisin buttons, like the small little buttons that you would wear on clothes. And I would collect those on the hat. And so I would have my hat with all of my buttons. I mean, I must have looked like, I don't know, like an eight-year-old who was looking to get a job at TGI Fridays or something.

I had a version of that hat from the World Exposition in Vancouver, Expo 86, which we never did anything cool when I was a kid, like as a family. But for some reason, my parents wanted to go to Expo 86, which like we didn't go to Disneyland. We didn't stay in hotels like we just that was not our thing. But we I don't even think we stayed the night. I think we drove to the border, crossed the border, parked and we drove to Vancouver, parked, walked into the World Exposition. And I managed to get this hat and then I did the same thing. If I ever got a cool pin, I pinned it on the hat. That was the look.

That's the look. That's the move. Certainly. So anyway, I do like that song. I do think it's funny, though, that I think even in the day, the bless you boys was a little bit hard to understand because this video, those are the only lyrics they throw on the screen is bless.

It's also a weird thing to say to your team.

It is strange. Bless you boys is a strange thing.

If you're at mass, maybe the father might say it or something. but like to now that that Detroit Tigers team shout out to my Detroit players I have a whole kind of memory of that team because I believe that was the Detroit Tigers team that won the World Series they beat the San Diego Padres but they were in like and they were just an unbelievably good team I think Jack Morris might have been a starting pitcher on that team and they just dominated and the Mariners were crap but the Mariners swept the Detroit Tigers in 1984 in the kingdom and it might have been the only three wins the mariners got in 1984 but i just remember the the the detroit tigers with like um i i also want to say i don't know why this matters to me but like i think their manager was named sparky something and they just rolled into town they were like the baddest team in baseball and then the sad-ass mariners swept them and it just gave

me life as a kid and Anderson maybe didn't um the Tigers didn't the Tigers um sweep the M's last season here in Seattle so I guess probably I guess revenge is a dish best my my Mariners knowledge

my Mariners knowledge stops at 1984 Andrew so yeah I don't know what happened last season I'm

pretty sure that not only did they sweep us in a potentially four game series they also had a no hitter against us in that series near the beginning of last season I by the way I am very proud of

Myself, Sparky Anderson, was the manager of the Detroit Tigers in 1984 when they won the World Series.

Let's move things a little bit closer to the Pacific Northwest, Luke. In fact, Portland itself, because Sam says, hey, guys, y'all were talking about professional sports teams theme music. And I was reminded that my hometown basketball team, the Portland Trailblazers, had two club bangers in the 90s. If you want to see Jerome Kersey's or Terry Porter's mic skills, just call up Rip City Rhapsody or bust a pocket on your power glove. So the one that was sent in by Sam, and this is officially posted on the Trailblazers YouTube page, but they describe it as a music video from the 1990s. This one is called Peace Be With You and Also With You. No, just joking. This is Rip City Rhapsody. That was a joke about how Bless You Boys had a sort of religious component to it. This is called... Do you have any memory of this, Luke? Do you have any idea of what I'm going to play?

Well, I have vivid memories of those Blazer teams because it was called the I-5 rivalry with the Sonics. Uh-huh. But I wouldn't have known what their song was.

Okay, well, take a listen to this. This is Rip City Rhapsody.

Red City, Red City More than Oregon, USA

This is terrible Red City, Red City

We're the Blazers and we love to play

Slamm-a-jam-a-jum-shot Blazers burning red hot Rip City repeat Winning to a newbie Big and proud in the NBA Sacking hot stats every time we play Teamwork bounce pass Coors pride first class Hot seats courtside Blazer bus free ride Halftime home team Game enhancers Talking about Portman's blazer dancers Fast break flying Keep on trying Now we're smoking Now we're skying We ain't messing We ain't lying Portman's winning So stop your crying

Rip City, Rock City

kind of won me over with the verse so are jerome kersey and terry porter are they players because you're seeing interspersed with um you know shots of games and slam dunks and three three-point shooters um you see people performing in the studio and some of these fellas who are singing or rapping are just so dead-eyed they just look like they just do not look like they have any energy at all they look like they just woke up and somebody said hey wrap into this microphone but then i don't know who's actually doing like the actual verse there when things kind of pick

up do you know who these people are do i know who jerome kersey is yeah are these players yeah oh yeah jerome kersey and who'd you say the other one was terry porter oh yeah terry porter we called him wharf okay he looked like he looked like wharf from star trek next generation to me or no he looked like bald bull from the mike tyson punch out game oh okay very odd very odd appearance although i've once interviewed terry porter because he's now the coach of portland state he was a lovely gentleman so i shouldn't besmirch his looks but um yeah those guys were uh players for the blazers you know my my the story i have to always roll out when the subject of the blazers comes up is that i was once long ago in these alaska airlines commercials with the actual portland trailblazers um some of them it was uh a guy named zach randolph it was a guy named arvidas sabonis whose son arvidas sabonis jr is now in the nba andrews so that's just a another indication of my rapid demise and um i forget who the third player was but the joke was i am an intern at alaska airlines and i'm trying to sort of alaska ties the the blazers by creating all of these things that for whatever reason i think are a good idea like instead of a t-shirt cannon i i i come up with the idea of a salmon cannon we're going to shoot salmon into the audience or i i come up with this idea for warm-ups for the team traditional alaskan warm-ups so they're dressed in like head-to-toe fur and hood and they're trying to play basketball in this and it was a really fun shoot and like the first time i got to do something like that and i was you know pretty starstruck to be working with these players and it was a big production we shot it in the what then was called the rose center now it's called the moda center but the this was when i stole that basketball oh yeah you still have it god it's somewhere i mean i don't i mean it's just so sad to say out loud i don't know if i have the basketball anymore after all of that how do you lose track of something that you stole from an nba team that probably got a ball boy flogged or something but yeah so I was there doing that shoot just after the Terry Porter Jerome Kersey era I can see my Ryan

Court foul ball from across the room by the way that thing never leaves my sight well you take care of the things that matter to you and I don't

which is why I live in an apartment in Portland I have nothing but shattered memories and dreams

Andrew I still want to make the argument that it's more valuable than a than a ball that was hit by a more famous player because he only played like three or four games and I happen to be there for one of them. I think your logic is actually very tight on that. It is rarer. There are fewer balls that connected with the bat of Ryan Court,

foul though they may have been. I don't understand why we don't as a baseball fandom prioritize that. There's got to be one player who got one AB. They got a cup of coffee. they came up they had one ab and they hit a home run or they fouled it off that should be the most

valuable ball and he wasn't even supposed to be there that day remember i know there's no reason for you to remember this but this would have been about 2018 and um the mariners had just brought up a um somebody from triple a called tim lopes and tim lopes i think tim lopes might have been davy lopes's kid oh my era named davy lopes but tim lopes had a uh

really good, this was the day before, he had a really good game. I think he hit like a single, I could be wrong, but I think he hit like a double and a triple or something. He didn't hit for the, what do you call it, for the cycle. But he had a really good day, but then he got hit in the head by a pitch, and it hit his ear flap, and he went into concussion protocol. So even though that was his first game as a Mariner, he suddenly was taken out. So the next day, they brought in Ryan Court, who was like, I don't know, 39 or something. It was like 32, 35. He'd never played in the big leagues. And basically, at this point, had given up probably thinking that he'd ever wear an actual Mariners uniform in a game.

He was like Lou Gehrig if Lou Gehrig wasn't good at baseball. Because famously, I think the guy was named Wally Pip. There was a guy who was a first baseman for the Yankees named, I think, Wally Pip. And he had a headache. So he sat out a game And they were like Gehrig Get in And then Lou Gehrig Went on to play Until Cal Ribkin Eclipsed it Lou Gehrig went on to play The most games Consecutively They called him The Iron Horse Until he contracted You know What we now call Lou Gehrig's disease You know ALS But he That Wally Pip guy Must have been pissed He was like Last time I take a seat For a headache Right Exactly 23 years later Yep They're like Alright get back in Pip That's what happened With Ryan Court Except Ryan Court

didn't play for 30 more seasons okay here i know that this is we're kind of rat holing here a little bit but you know what it's it's opening day for the seattle mariners uh it's a friday it's fun times i'm going to read to you this article or part of this article from july 26 2019 this is pre-pandemic folks um from the seattle times written by maggie vanoni i don't recognize that byline uh with tim lopes out ryan court makes mlb debut for mariners ryan court pulled up to the parking garage of t-mobile park on friday afternoon his life forever changed he hadn't slept the night before how could he and finally the enormity of the situation hit him an impossible dream was achieved when his colleague got hit in the head by a baseball i added that part they don't call their they don't call it when his co-worker how did larry stone write it co-worker exhausted and excited he broke down into tears you pull in and you see the stadium and you're like holy cow this is home now court said on thursday he finally got the call he'd been waiting for but wasn't expecting tacoma manager darren brown gave him the news he was being called up to make his big leg debut for the mariners um the first thing he did was call his parents and his girlfriend with uh the unbelievable news uh i guess it goes on to be cliche from there i was looking for his age here it says tim lopes made his first major league start the day before lopes was hit by a 91 mile per hour fastball on the ear flap of his helmet in the fourth inning so there's no way he even came close to the cycle i don't know why i thought that he had a good first at bat or something tim lopes made his debut looked really good the day before got hit in the damn head and then had to be uh i don't think i think he maybe finished out the game but then didn't return the next day and then there we have ryan court and then there you have me A couple things

Tim Lopes is not the child of Davey Lopes They just have the same last name Also I wish I mean I know we've described a universe In which your baseball is more valuable Because Ryan Court did not Sort of maintain a major league career At least as of yet But it would have been great if he would have Stuck with the team Become like the kind of heart and soul of the team And then you would see him during the seventh inning He's just got everyone around him And he's like entertaining the heck out of the other players. And then they could have done the headline, Ryan Court holds court. Oh, yeah. The Ryan's court. He could have done the hot foot. Do you know about the hot foot? I don't think so. Baseball is a weird sport in that most of it, it's just a bunch of people getting together to pull pranks on each other. And I know you love pranks, Andrew. The hot foot is where you take a bunch of bubble gum and a set of matches. And you somehow orchestrate it so that an unsuspecting teammate, you stick the bubble gum with the match, the book of matches to the bottom of their cleat. Like maybe if they're dozing off, like in the bullpen or something or whatever, you you basically affix this open book of matches to their feet. And then you surreptitiously light it on fire and wait for them to realize it's called the hot foot. It was a big thing in the 80s because I used to watch a show called This Week in Baseball hosted by Mel Allen. And most of what they did Was showed people giving each other the hot foot

I think I've I've heard of that I think that maybe you've explained it to me before Or I've heard of it I can't quite picture it I've never seen it before I wish I could time travel you back to the era When This Week in Baseball was

on on saturdays it was the highlight of my week they had this thing called twib notes because this week in baseball if you're sure it's to twib and like it was just the grace like an hour of like but you never saw mel allen it was all voiced over because i think mel allen was probably calling like for i don't know what team maybe the reds or something but he was like a play-by-play announcer so what they did was just they would probably fax him a script and he would just read it in reading and then someone would put his voice over a bunch of baseball highlights and things but it was like this is before espn or anything so it was like the only time where you'd get like a recap of the whole week and then there was twib notes and then there was hot foots it was just

like it was the highlight of my like 12 year old life would you allow me to take you back to july

27th 1985 from a los angeles love story the dodgers are a smash hit in hollywood after they temporarily dampen the spirit of st louis a montreal picture in motion the terminator displays the right stuff leaving no doubt that he's the man with the golden arm god i love you so much

just imagine me at peter williams's house because we didn't have a tv just being like i'll come out in a minute and play dunk hoops i'm watching this week in baseball it's 2 p.m on a beautiful Saturday. I'm indoors watching Mel Allen.

The little general continues his long quest for that championship season. So take your seats because we're bound for glory, y'all. On this week in baseball.

I'm going to earmark this or bookmark this. Put that on your projector. Yeah, put that in your projector, Walsh. Smoke it. Alright, more team songs. Oh yeah, I got one more i did this in the wrong order because i really hate to end with this but uh i guess i have to uh michael in spokane says the yankees have had a theme song since 1967 when they were owned by cbs despite this being the yankees you gotta admit it's a pretty great song and they still play it at the beginning of radio broadcast so as much as i hate ending this segment on a song celebrating the yankees i think um those are the cards i was dealt meaning i dealt them to myself Take a listen to this. I think they start talking about payroll in the second verse. I'm like, exactly.

They always play to win because they have the most money. Sorry, Michael, not trying to be a, not trying to be a spoil sport. But it's, I mean, the thing is, I loved the Dodgers when I lived in L.A. And the Dodgers are right up there with the Yankees in terms of spending a ton of money. Although, interestingly, the Dodgers also have drafted really well. I read this piece the other day on, I accidentally ended up on Deadspin. Andrew and I had forgotten oh yeah Deadspin how are they doing over there I don't know because I like I kind of won't go to it on principle yeah yeah but I saw a link and I clicked on it and I read the whole article I was like this is a pretty decent article and then realized oh no I'm back at Deadspin which is like the enemy to

defector the kind of scabs yeah but you know when I said how are they doing over there I got confused for a second they also somebody reawakened Gawker and I don't have as much bad feelings about the new Gawker they actually wrote a nice opening post about like please don't hate us like this is who we are and um it sounds like what's going on there is better than what's going on over at the old gawker dead spin i don't know the old dead spin sorry yeah i mean

that's an interesting we should get to music for your weekend but that is an interesting thing because if you're a journalist who wants to write and whatever gawker is now or whatever dead spin is now reaches out to you like we shouldn't begrudge those people the opportunity to make a living and and practice their craft um i guess right although i don't know if that's anti-labor

of me well i mean it gets really complicated and i don't want to try to untangle it now and i'm not the right person to do it but um essentially you know they're the the people who reconstituted deadspin were not doing it with i think the um you know the benefit of the reader in mind like

they just kind of well the people who are pulling the strings but i'm saying the writers like they had like two people that were writing every article and i in a way my heart goes out to those folks although you could also say you're in essence crossing a picket line of sorts which is complicated yeah i don't know yeah anyway um i hated that yankee song is the point sorry michael but thank you for saying all right let's do a little music for your weekend and andrew i want you to take this segment and then make it 10 minutes shorter i want to keep this tight because i know you've got a lot of work to do yeah we've got a lot of baseball to watch we've got places to be and people to see people named julio rodriguez that's right yeah yeah i didn't time this well today i'm gonna bet he gets a home run today on my my oregon lottery betting app that's i'm sure i would get like plus 300 on j-rod rookie debut home run and i'm going for it um because i mortgaged yesterday's

yesterday by um doing the lawn um in the sunny weather now i will be writing the newsletter during the um during the game today meaning that there will probably be a bunch of typos and me typing things like son of a gun yeah it'll just be like normal normal normal holy shit normal normal normal um yeah so i'm gonna play a song for you here by the way i i was very tempted by something here last week's 10 of the week speaking of the newsletter um we always highlight a listener in the newsletter it's called the 10 of the week you can find out more about it at tbtl.net but anyway um listener dawn was the 10 of the week and she answered all these questions in our little questionnaire and one of them is what song would you choose to end an episode of tbtl and that was when we were playing more music on the show before spotify started saying hey you can't just play you can't just play this licensed music like noted good guys spot yeah exactly that's my take but dawn's suggestion was turn me loose by lover boy and i was like oh i don't know if i know that song or not and i hit play on and i think i know it because it was in i believe one of the wet hot american summer movies it took me a while to make that connection but oh my gosh i was doing a bunch of painting last weekend i listened to turn me loose dawn like seven times in a row and that was just the first that was just the first round like i was listening to that entire lover boy record all weekend and really enjoying it like that was such a good pick i don't think i'm gonna play it now because it's like a a very popular song from a different era and spotify might be kind of it might be in their algorithm but i recommend everybody if you want to get pumped up if you have chores to do if you're mowing the lawn whatever it is turn me loose by lover boy will put you in the right spot for that um but i think andrew i just realized something really quickly what's wrong we didn't do tweet of the week oh my goodness do you

uh here i'm just gonna make it fast okay please get our yeah thank you good good catch here

nope that's for the delete well i am sorry that we missed tweet of the week okay yeah it's not totally not appropriate that's the deleted tweet of the week that would ryan also made that i'll just play it for you so you can hear it since i teased you with it sure thank you see what happens

i wish i hadn't done that i'm grinding

i'd like to offer you an apology right here right now and then uh are there any tweets that you i love that we that's so not twitter specific Like, Andrew, I feel like we can use that for when I get something wrong, if that were to ever happen. All right. Oh, that's great. Thank you, Ryan.

Here's the actual tweet of the week intro, as God intended.

It's Luke's tweet of the week.

Oh, yeah. The tweet that I did this week that got the most engagement was quite surprising to me. I had made a sandwich and I did that move where I was like, I might need to use this knife again, this butter knife that I was spreading the mustard with. So I didn't want to put it in the dishwasher. So I did the thing where you would never do this, Andrew, but I placed it so that the, I guess, blade, as much as a butter knife has a blade, the blade was like just kind of like balanced over the sink. So I don't want that part to touch the countertop because I might use it later. But I just wanted to I just wanted to leave my options open. And what I wrote on Twitter was area man keeping his options open regarding possible second sandwich. And then I took a picture of it. People really seem to like that.

Yeah, I saw that earlier this week. It had like when I looked at it and this is several days ago, it had like 500 likes or something.

Yeah. A lot of people have done that move, apparently.

So, you know what that was, Luke?

What was that?

It's Luke's Tweet of the Week. Oh, yeah.

that's what that was okay i'm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt your music for your weekend selection no um i'm glad you got that in there actually we should maintain that tradition um i did want to say though that you played a music for your weekend a couple of months ago now off of the new courtney or i guess at this point i should say the latest courtney barnett record this came out late in 2021 so it's not even that new anymore but um you played i believe sunfare sundown with which is track number two and absolutely the track that i would have picked as well. It's so good. I've been listening to this album. on repeat for the past several weeks now I think it's one of those things I didn't do this intentionally but this is one of those things where when I hear this record in the future I will be reminded of this very specific time in my life when we moved from one home to another and did all these projects and whatever so it is an amazing record I think she does some interesting things with a very basic drum machine in it which is an interesting kind of sound for her and you played Sunfair Sundown which is absolutely beautiful so many of these songs are beautiful one is heartbreaking have you been listening to the whole record luke or was it just that one song that had stood out i've listened to the whole record it's really good it's just so good so it's hard to pick another one but i'll go with the um the lead track and i believe the lead singer off of the album it's called ray street and i believe that's the name of the record as well this is courtney barnett with ray street

In the morning I'm slow I drag a chair over to the window And I'll watch what's going on The garbage truck tiptoes along the road Light a candle for the suffering Send my best wishes with the wind All out, candles, hopes and prayers Though well-meaning they don't mean a thing Unless we see some change I might change my sheets today Well, time is money And money is no man's friend

Hate to cut it off in the middle of the chorus, but that's quite a bit to play. But that's Ray Street The whole record is just great I love that song

I love that If things don't change I may change my sheets today Yeah It's such a good line

The garbage truck tiptoes down the street She wrote that for you You I assumed You mentioned I think when you played The other song off this album When this was newer I think that you said Your daughter Addie said to you There's something about Listening to her records It just feels like Coming home or something And I kind of had that quote Or that paraphrase Going through my head As I listened to it I I when you said it I didn't quite get it but like listening to this album kind of constantly during this these past few weeks I've been thinking about that a lot and I understand what she's talking about yeah I love her so much she's just like she might have you know maybe gotten like John Prine like handed her the baton for just kind of like writing about life in this way that just speaks to me so much you know just her describing kind of the mundane things

I don't know if you've heard her interviewed about this record, but she had been really like dealing with a lot of depression when when she was writing it. And just like the way that she's kind of working those feelings out on the album are just like really amazing.

Yeah, there's a song that is such a very clear kind of breakup song and saying, I just wanted to say some nice things here, because if something were to happen, you know, if something were to happen, I don't want those angry words to be the last words you hear or something.

and it's just like it's man it gets me man yeah really really good stuff from courtney barnett and in a very big tonal change i'd like to recommend some really good stuff from vince staples are you a vince staples guy i don't think so i don't think i know that name he um is a hip hop dude he was kind of part of the odd future i don't know if he was officially in odd future like if you mean like to the degree that tyler and earl sweatshirt and those guys were or and you know frank ocean or whatever but he's like in that kind of world and he's got this new album out called ramona park broke my heart andrew it is i feel like you're gonna be vibing on this album it's not quite where that michael christmas album is for me that you turned me on to yeah but it's definitely really good i think um there might be a couple of in this song i want to recommend called magic with mustard the song before this is called dj quick and it's also really good i also just grew up being obsessed with dj quick which for the old heads out there they'll know like that like quick is the name like that was a big hit like digital underground nwa and dj quick were and too short like kind of like the hip-hop guys i was really into when i was in middle school anyways got this other song dj quick that's really good but the one i wanted to play is magic with mustard from vince staples and um i don't know if you want to bleep some things later Andrew or

we'll let it lie or whatever but just a heads up I can't speak for every lyric in this song but take a listen

always be broke i never get to pull up in the bins with my notes growing up we was poor so we hopped off that poach with a gun trying to blow trying to kick down your door but that's old news spreading love now sick of police like sick of gun sounds again spread ain't up so they come but it's handshakes hugs when i come around wow funny style hate to see it again smiling so there

you go vince staples magic with my i do love that this whole album is so good man really like And apparently there's somebody named Mustard on this track, so that's why it's called Magic with Mustard. Oh, I didn't actually know that. It's the Staples featuring Mustard, I think. Yeah, just a great Spotify here, yeah. Got it, yeah. I do like that a lot. Yeah, I'll check out that record. Ramona Park broke my heart, definitely. I also love that. That's a great name for an album, too. I know. I don't get the reference, but I'm into it. Yeah, me too. I mean, I wonder, is there really somebody named Ramona Park? And if that's the case, is this toxic? I wonder, or I wonder if there's a place called Ramona Park in, like, the part of california where vince staples grew up where you know something went down who knows um the uh listener suggestion is from listener missy in boston who says i have been meaning to send you this song for a couple of weeks but life has been a little hectic lately well that's i guess just happening to you missy it's been everything has been completely calm and cool for the rest of us it has been a that sounded like i was being mean to missy what i meant to say was i hear you and i see you but somehow when that came out it sounded like i was saying somehow this is missy's problem that we have a pandemic and a world war three on the horizon and all the other things we talked about earlier in the show you're not the only one missy i got so you're i have to plug my lawnmower in missy you think it's easy all around never have i meant one thing and had it come out more a different thing missy i'm sorry yes it's been hectic and we see you and hear you anyway missy He says, this song makes me feel like everything is going to be okay whenever I hear it, much like your show. Except, Missy, when I'm being mean to you unintentionally. I apologize. It's super uplifting, and it's perfect for eagle soaring or just for going into the weekend feeling like a million bucks. The song is called Super Bloom by the band Mr. Wives. So that's what we're going to go out with. That'll bring us to the end of our broadcast week. Thank you so much, everyone, for spending this time with us. We're going to be back here Monday with more Imaginary Radio. Until then, have a great weekend. Go Mariners. And please remember, I'm going to try to say this in a way, Andrew, that doesn't trip you up today. Please remember, no mountain too tall. And no detail too wrong.

God! God! You do the cracks, you break through I deserve congratulations Cause I came out the other side I've been having revelations And I'm gonna let them shine I deserve congratulations And never thought that I'd survive If you tell me I won't make it That's when I, that's when I Super Blue Super Blue Super Blue

Super Blue Resilient little team

National League focus. In Los Angeles, the Dodgers clipped the cards. Take note, the Dodgers have begun to make their mark. Thanks in big part to a top-flight pitching staff that helped Los Angeles win 24 out of 34 to take over first place in the West.

It's all right.

Well, because, you know, you're from 96 pitchers and then 98 back-to-back, and it's a good sign. It's a good sign of something.

For the Cardinals, signs of vulnerability as they lost three out of four. Oral Hirshhiser won the opener, and in his next start, he tossed a one-hitter to go 10-3. More Los Angeles handiwork next night as Bob Welch kept the Redbirds grounded. Striking out nine for the third of four straight wins. After missing two months with an injury, Welch is well on the mend. I think we, uh, you know, that elbow...

Power out.