Muse

Come on, stand on your desk. Up on your desk? She made it! Everyone, stand on your desks! Up, up, up, up, come on! Rise, rise, rise above the programming. All your lives you were told, don't stand on your desk. Well, why not? She's okay, go to the nurse, seize the day. T-B-T-L!

And that concludes our lesson on the founder of Canadian Electricity, Sir Brian. Oh, look who decided to come in tardy. Now, don't think it's okay to just roll in here at 100 kilometers per hour like you're Joel Otto with the Calgary Flames. Who do you think you are, Prime Minister Stephen Harper?

You're amazing. I hope that when I grow up, I can come to your college and you can be my professor. I'm learning.

If you want to make money, better drop out right now. Go to banking school or website school.

You think you're too cool for school, but I got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite. You aren't.

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. You know what I've found over the years is that the facts are your friends. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

I don't do this for the clouts. I don't do this for the fame.

Coming to you from the inner sanctum of sound at the offices of Walsh, Walsh and Dormat right here in the sweet cream district of Seattle, Washington, where I know that I far too often I start the show reporting on the weather, which is just of all of the not useful information that we offer the tens of listeners on this show. The specific weather on a specific day is some of the least useful information. What are you supposed to do with that living somewhere outside of the Northwest months from now? Like, how is that supposed to add anything to your life whatsoever? But I will just tell you, I had to go from the hotel room to my car to get something today, which involved walking across a parking lot. And it was so miserable outside. It was somehow 48 degrees and raining heavily. If I had my Denzel drop here, I would be reminding people that I, in fact, do not like to get wet, though. But it was somehow so cold and yet so wet, it was the longest half a block walk of my life. The whole thing has me feeling just a bit grumpy, according to the term. But we are going to power through here on episode 3677 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. Yesterday, the weather, thankfully, was much, much nicer, and I was able to travel out to the sacred home of pickleball. Beautiful purple balls. The fastest-growing sport in America.

I mean, I figured he had to be in sport, but he wasn't in sport.

I went to the actual court where the whole thing got started. It's kind of an interesting story, actually. I'm working on a TV piece about it, so that was fun. And I also got to play pickleball in front of a bunch of people against a professional pickleball player who was so good. And she was honestly only using 4% of her abilities, and it was still far, far too much for me. But we may talk about that also. So, speaking of sport, the Seattle Sounders did something incredible last night in front of almost 70,000 people.

Wow! Wow! Wow! All I can say is wow!

They won something called the CONCACAF Cup. I'm sorry, the... ...cup, which is actually a very big deal.

Now, I am no soccer aficionado, so if you are a Sounders supporter or a fan of MLS or a fan of the cup, just know, get your phones, set your phones on, throw them, because I'm going to probably mess this up.

But it's actually pretty interesting. It's pretty amazing what they did. Deadspin is calling, excuse me, Defector. It's calling it the biggest night in American soccer. So we will talk about that, too. And then, speaking of huge accomplishments, Dolly Parton has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame after politely asking that they not induct her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

You've got to be kidding me.

So we'll get into that as well. All of that with the help of this young man. He's a handsome young stranger. He's an activist and house party enthusiast. Also, the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Above all, he's a professional.

Look it up.

I'm a professional. Look it up in the book. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now from just across this table. Good morning, my friend. Good morning. Looks like the rain is here to stay for quite some time. We have highs of 53 today. South winds from 7 to 10 miles per hour. Tonight, lows hitting around 43 in the greater Seattle area. Rain, highs near 54 on Friday. And again, that precipitation sticking around through the weekend into early next week, Luke. That is very, very impressive, my friend. That's interesting. I'm looking at the weather.gov page, but I was also...

You only trust the United States government for your weather.

Actually, I kind of pulled that off better than I thought I would, because it's not a script. I'm just kind of bouncing around on bullet points here. Honestly, that was really good. I used to give the weather. Not often, but there was a small point on public radio where I was training to do weekend board op shifts, where I would do like the...

This is in New Hampshire?

In New Hampshire. So this is going back 15 years at least. And I didn't do it often, but I got a thrill out of it, right? Like, it was a fun thing to learn how to do, and so I was trying to just kind of, you know, clear my mind and find a comfort zone and just kind of, you know, kind of, what's the word, channel the old weather forecasts I used to do. I mean, listen, that wasn't great, but it sort of had the thing. By the way, quick note, I'm not bringing this up to sharpshoot you, but I do think it's interesting. You corrected yourself in the intro. You said Deadspin. Then you corrected it's Defector, but it actually is Deadspin that you said that link to.

After I had already corrected myself in my mind, I realized, nope, I was right the first time, which itself probably could generate an entire media-related conversation that you and I can maybe get into when we get into talking about the cup win for the Sounders. But you're absolutely right. We can get into the Deadspin vs. Defector conversation coming up in a bit.

I only bring it up because I noticed this morning. I was like, oh, maybe the boycott is over. No, honestly, what it is, okay, fine.

We'll just talk about it because here we are. Well, I was ready to move on, but okay. Andrew, maybe you were ready to move on. Okay, no, that's fine. Just don't pin it on me, though. But you need to let me, I need to process this at the pace that my body tells me is the correct pace. Okay, no, it's fair. No, because I don't know a whole lot about soccer, I thought, well, let me look this up and figure out if Larry Stone at the Seattle Times is just getting overly excited or if this is nationally something that people are caring about. And the first link was a Deadspin piece. And I had, you know, for so many years was such a dedicated Deadspin reader that an old part of my brain was like, oh, the website that I read for my sports info. And I just read it, grabbed the link, pasted it into you and sent you the show sheet and didn't even remember that that's the one that I don't like anymore.

Well, let's we will. Let's not let that be the conversation, though. We'll come back to that story later because I had some things I want to tell you. But one other thing here at the beginning of the show that's kind of business-y, but I wanted to say to you is, so I love having you here in the studio with me. I think there's a good energy. I just like seeing your pretty face, if I can objectify you like that as a co-worker. But how would you describe the vibe? The vibes will be the illest, and the jams, not ridiculous. But we were doing a little sound check going through all of your drops at the beginning, you know, before we started the show to make sure that everything was kind of in the right sound range, as we do every day, whether you're here or not. But I had a thought while we were doing it. You're with your Rode kit now, your Rode computer. So some of the drops that you use on a daily basis aren't here with you for whatever reason. And I was going to say to you, I had this actual thought. One of these days, if you don't have the drops that you need, we should just do something where we script out what the drops are supposed to be. And I just do my best imitation of them when we get to that part of your intro. Right. You could just point at me. And I would say, I was pee-peeing and he was pee-peeing and we was both pee-peeing. See, like I can do imitation, it's not too bad. And so, and then I was thinking like- It's a decent Mitt Romney. I was like, that would be a fun thing to do. And then, then we're rolling and you got to the point where you said you didn't have your, didn't know you like to get wet though, drop. And I'm like, I could do that. I almost opened up my mic and I wanted you to point at me, but I realized we hadn't actually had that conversation.

I have great news for you, Andrew. Yeah. We are recording the Friday edition of this week's episodes later today because I am, when we're all done here, I'm going to get on an airplane and go to St. Louis tonight. And tomorrow's, for various timing purposes, just not ideal for me to try to record my part of the show from there. And so we're going to do two shows, meaning if it's still raining later this afternoon, Andrew, when we record the Friday edition.

Well, you just heard the weather report. It is going to be wet through the weekend.

Okay, so you will have your chance, my friend, to do your very best, completely non-profit. problematic denzel washington impression i first of all good point and secondly um i am going to screw it up so bad i just can't like i can i can barely do it here talking to you without the pressure on but i know when i'm going to be so nervous and my voice is going to crack and i'm

going to stutter but that's okay it'll be fun we have to do your problematic denzel impression even if your voice falters i believe that is a quote that is etched somewhere in an inspirational museum speaking of uh inspirational museums of sport i was out on bainbridge island yesterday at the actual place where this thing called pickleball got invented which i feel like pickleball is this thing that either you know about it and you really love it and it's like a fun thing that you play a lot and are interested in or you have never heard of it and you're like what are you talking about where do you fall on the where do you fall on the the spectrum for that I mean, we've talked about it on this show, so it's not news to you. Have you ever played it is my question. I've never played it. I've never seen it played.

I can't really quite picture it, although I think I've seen some pictures maybe of the rackets. But, you know, it's come up before. I hadn't heard of it probably before the, you know, I probably heard about it for the first time in the past five or ten years. Certainly when I moved to the Pacific Northwest, where this is the birthplace of it, of course. And we have a listener whose name you will know, but I'm blanking right now. My apologies, dear listener from Bellingham, who's in the Pickleball District. And we spoke with her during our Laura possibly. Yeah, we spoke with her during our Zoom meetups a couple of years ago. And so I remember that that sticks in my head.

Yeah, because well, I used to I lived on that street for a while Eldridge in Bellingham. We were staying with some folks, but that would that seemed wild to me that there were two pickleball courts across the street from each other. But what I found on that particular street, but what I found out going out to Bainbridge where it was invented was that's very normal. Like every single house on Bainbridge has a pickleball court now. And the quick history of the whole thing is it was this, there was a badminton court that was for some reason asphalt, which is weird. I wouldn't want to play badminton on asphalt.

No, it seems to defeat the purpose. I think the whole purpose of badminton is just to like dive in the grass, dive in the grass. And I'm not even a shoes off kind of person, but it just sort of seems like a bunch, you know, family. You go to the park, you're having a picnic, you're playing, you're playing badminton. Yeah, it's confusing

So I assumed that they had So it's still there, this court And when I was standing on it yesterday I was thinking Oh, they must have just at some point Put this asphalt down to make it more Conducive to playing pickleball And the thing with pickleball is that you have these wood paddles Kind of like oversized ping pong paddles And you have a wiffle ball type of ball It's not a wiffle ball though It's not the water, it's not a wiffle ball It's something else that bounces a little better And works better for this particular game And then you have a net Like a badminton net Which is what it originally was But it's down on the ground like a tennis net And you hit the ball over What people love about this game I'm learning is You can go in an afternoon from never having Like hit one of these things To actually having a lot of fun And hitting it back and forth across the net

And it's supposed to bounce by the way Kind of like tennis It's hitting the ground and bouncing up

It is some of the time You can also hit it in the air Back and forth There's some rules around it What's cool about it is that It seems to appeal to people Of all ages And also physical abilities Like a lot of people who used to play tennis But their bodies just don't really Aren't really Able to do something like tennis Can play pickleball still so they really like it It just seems like there's a low bar For entry of getting into it So yeah it's cool and I went out there And got to find out about the history of this whole thing And see some of the original paddles that they made Which was cool But then, Andrew We went over to this pickleball complex That they have on Bainbridge They're very proud of this over there That it was invented there It's a big deal

Are you saying that to me? You're giving me a look like Don't make fun of this thing, Walsh Don't salt your pickleball journalism game

No, no, no, no I've already talked to you Say anything you want I've gone over I've interviewed all the folks there You got the tape

I got in I got out

i've got the receipts no but it's it's a big deal over there and then to the to the point where there's like these dedicated pickleball courts that the city built and so we went over there to uh film some folks playing pickleball and like the whole city turned out there was like a couple of hundred people there playing pickleball watching pickleball talking about pickleball and this was all culminating in me getting on the court and playing pickleball against this actual professional pickleball player who is in the Hall of Fame of pickleball. It's a woman named Jen. I'm blanking on her last name at the moment, but she and her partner Alex are... Like some of the best doubles pickleball players in the world. And I had to play pickleball. This thing I had not done since high school because it was a sport in the state of Washington. It's a gym sport that you take during racket sports. So you play badminton. Sometimes you I don't know if they do tennis, but you do this pickleball thing. So I had to stand out there in front of all these people and play pickleball against this professional. And it was, you know, it was humbling. And then later I said to my friend John Goodwin Who makes a special appearance in the Hey Dummies video If any of you have been hearing about that Dashing young man, John Goodwin, my friend And CBS collaborator And you've wondered, what does John Goodwin look like Check out the newsletter this week

Indeed, I'm really glad you said that Actually, if you don't mind me interrupting For one second, I'm so glad you said that Because actually I've been getting some notes from our pal John, a different John at 8pm Who really wants me to encourage people to sign up for the TBTL newsletter for a host of reasons, including that's where you're going to be able to sign up for a lot of these Zoom events that we're going to be holding in a couple of weeks during the TBTL-a-thon. So if you want to take part in TBTL-a-thon game nights in a couple of weeks, definitely sign up for that newsletter. Also, I wanted to tell you, Luke, you both look great in this video that's going to be in this week's newsletter. And a little spoiler alert here. You guys are talking about snacks. You're answering a listener's question about snacks. And I don't know if they're going to go with it, but I suggested naming the video this week a couple of snacks. Hey, Andrew, that's very kind of you.

Anyway, go ahead. So John's in this video. I interrupted. Yeah, well, so John and I were out at this pickleball complex, and it was all kind of, like I said, building towards this. It wasn't even a face-off. Like, nobody thought I was going to beat this professional, but it was just I was telling you and Vives about this a little bit last night. This is the part of this job of doing TV stuff That I still sort of struggle with a little bit Which is so weird because I was the one who asked to have this job I wanted to be the person they were pointing the camera at I was wanting to get to have these fun adventures It's all worked out the way that I was asking for it to work out And yet, there's a moment where I'm about to take the court In front of all these people And try to come up with something that will be moderately entertaining television And that is always the part where I just think How did I get myself into this Andrew Pickle It was a real pickle Because I just I don't I don't know I don't think that I'm I don't think I'm inherently that entertaining Like in this context You and I talking I think we're pretty good at this job For what it is And I feel comfortable doing this Hosting Livewire I feel pretty comfortable with that A lot of the TV job stuff I do feel fairly comfortable Sitting down with someone You know in a couple of chairs And asking them about their experience All that I can kind of do When it's the part where the call sheet says Then Luke does something interesting Sure yeah That's when you just start spanking everybody With your pickleball paddle Which is why I was asked to leave And that's actually We did find an ending for the piece Which is Luke is banned for life From the founders pickleball courts In Bainbridge Island So anyway It was really fun though And I'm now I'm not even kidding I'm like into pickleball Yeah

You're saying this And I it's just a personal story, not super interesting. But I went through a phase where me and my friends in Concord, New Hampshire were playing a lot of squash. We happened to belong to a YMCA that was not a fancy YMCA at all. But they had a couple of squash courts, which I think are probably the same as handball courts or racquetball courts, rather. Although I don't know if that's if there is a difference. Either way, we are using them as squash courts. And I just have such fond memories. This is going back quite some time. I was probably in my mid-20s, and my friends were starting a – they had their first kid. They were a young family, and it was just fun. I would go do my kind of boring workout stuff, and then I would meet them to play some squash. And I mentioned to you, we just moved, and every time I move, I come across the rackets. I still have this – I have a brand-new squash ball in its box that we were, like, ready to break out, and then, like, life changed. And, like, I'm ready to break that stuff out. I just don't know where to do it, because I feel like to get a squash court around here, you've got to belong to a racket club or something fancy.

I just realized something. What? I took a tour of your yard yesterday.

Yeah. It's not big. It's ideal for a pickleball court. Oh, for pickleball. But what about the bouncing ball part? It's grass. Well, maybe it could be not grass. Okay, so we're talking construction. Asphalt.

Not construction, just a light layer of asphalt.

Okay, let me text Genevieve. I'm telling her that I'm ordering an asphalt truck right now to pour black. Let me tell you something back.

It doesn't have to be black tar. That's that's that's something different. This could be just a it also doesn't have to be asphalt. It could be concrete could be cement. I'm telling you, I know you're not going to do this. No, my friend Evan, who lives up in Mount Vernon and who I had Evan, who I go out on that. You know, we got.

on a sailboat you go gunk holing just say a little say the word put respect on the gunk hole

keep my gunk hole out of your what wait no keep my name out of your gun that's you know what that's exactly what i was able to come back might be evan has now and now i'll just say this it was evan it is evan's pre-existing driveway so yeah it's one thing if you have a driveway and it you know Is already some kind of impervious surface And then you go ahead and you mark off Part of why Pickleball has taken off the way it has Is because it uses the dimensions of a badminton court Because that's what it originally was So a lot of like gymnasiums You know like middle school, high school gyms, whatever They've already got badminton marked off So that's part of why it's You didn't, like they don't have to like Suddenly do this weird new thing With the floor of the gymnasium But if you already have a driveway Like my friend Evan does at his house He just measured it off and basically Demarcated it as a pickleball court And he has this net that he can bring out But when the net's not out it's just a driveway It is the most fun Ass thing Whenever he has people over He has a big chalkboard, he sets up a tournament Or just has people playing, kids love it Older people love it, everybody loves it If you and Veeves made that one part of your yard I can already see it I love my green little yard

I'm not pouring concrete

What about the raised part where the RV used to go?

Also, I feel like you're not hearing me. I don't want to play pickleball. I want to play squash. For me, like...

But you've never played pickleball.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't play pickleball, but, like, I said I want to play squash again, and you're pouring concrete in my backyard, so I created a pickleball court when I never even played it.

I, like... And, again, I know that... I think if you were just to visit the origin of pickleball, if you were to go out into that field of dreams, something would change inside you.

What if I did a little story? What if I did a little TV story for the local station here on CBS? What if I scooped you on a local level?

That would be amazing. That would be, believe me, CBS Any Morning is impervious to being scooped because we bring you yesterday's news tomorrow. That's what I like to say.

Let me ask you this. Now, obviously, I'm not promoting Woody Allen films and he's a disgusting human being. But before I realized what a disgusting human being he was, I was a huge fan of his films when I was a young man. as a lot of I'm sure young white men are embarrassingly so um and um there is something about and I don't know if this happens across several of his movies or it's just one movie and it stands out but there's a type of movie in the 80s where you see people in New York who are like upper middle class and they're and they're spending their day going to play some racquetball some like racquetball or squash with their friend at some sort of you know some sort of like gym or club or something and then afterwards they're in the nice locker room together and they have their towels thrown over their shoulder and as they're tying up their shoes after a fresh shower and they're talking about their relationship issues like that's what I want pickleball brings me none of that I don't know if

it was on we had like the last time we talked about football we had a version of this conversation I don't remember if I said this then or if I just said it not on the recording to people when this came up but i feel like so many exactly those woody allen films so many 80s movies of a certain ilk there was always a racquetball scene or a squash scene there was always a racket sport seat in one of those things where like a woody allen type is is in between shots explaining his frustration to an elliot gould type exactly exactly there's always an affair involved there's There's a heavy use of rec specs. There's heavy use. Bruno Kirby might make an appearance. Like, that was the backdrop for every important, like, male. Absolutely right. And it was always guys. Always guys.

Bruno Kirby. How did you nail that so fucking perfectly?

Well, only because he's totally in, he's in When Harry Met Sally. Oh, okay, yes. And they may, that may literally be a scene in When Harry Met Sally. And if it's not, it's a scene in, you know, some version of that movie

Yeah, yeah, anyway, that's what I want And I'm not saying that Pickleball can't bring me happiness But it's not the particular dragon that I'm chasing

You know who would be, who'd have his great setup for this rodent Oh, yeah, in that driveway Although, is that a shared driveway? I think I remember I believe it is, yeah Well, he's gonna have to get his neighbors into Pickleball too Sorry, neighbors, yeah I think I can crack this nut I think I can, I think This is like a Brewster's million Whose problem are you trying to solve here?

Yours or mine I want to come over to your house and play pickleball

And I feel like you have the perfect dimensions In that backyard This is a different 80's movie trope It's the Brewster's million Luke Burbank was living his regular life Until he realized Someone was going to pay him a million dollars To get his friend Andrew to put a pickleball cord in I bet I can get you to put a pickleball cord in In one year Yeah how many movies

how many plots are based on a bet by the way that's so you and I are not betting I mean well you're obviously a betting person but like you and I in our relationship we're not like a betting kind of we don't

have a betting no we don't bet like you and I don't like I'll you know what you care to we were making a care to make an interesting joke a lot a few weeks ago it's not the kind of thing where you and I would say like you want to put ten dollars on that

do you have that relationship no I

don't like that relationship with friends because I would never I wouldn't want to collect yeah yeah that's

True too but of course it could be something Kind of like you know there are people where it's not money Bets but like you know like you have to show Up you know dressed In your high school Letterman's coat that's a terrible you know You know that you can hear me of all Of those dying on that sentence

I all of those You know fantasy football bets Like if you if you lose The fan like we get the worst score In the fantasy football league they make you go to the waffle house I found that one to be kind of It was a little hard for me to Fully understand How hard it was for this guy He had to eat a waffle an hour I remember that story I was like I could 100% And like waffle number 5 He was like throwing up in the bushes You threw up from 5 waffles? 5 waffles?

Yeah

Please

I do that before breakfast Or you carry around the trophy That's made of marital aids Or whatever Right

But I did see one the other day That I thought was kind of funny Which was the loser of this The loser of this fantasy football league And these were all grown people In their adulthood Had to go take I think it was either the SAT or the ACT

That's like a 35 year old That's so much more interesting Than you have to spend the day at the Waffle House

And they were like videotaping this guy I would have thought there were rules around this But somehow this guy had to go take A high school standardized test in his adulthood Which that's a good burn Yes it is That's really good Wow. All right. Let's take a quick break here. And then when we come back, we'll talk Sounders and Dolly Parton. And we'll even do some Blur's Days because it is a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day. So stay with us for that in a moment here on TBTL. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. Save it for tomorrow.

We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattles down. Let's thank some dazzling donors.

Boy, I have become, Andrew, medically dependent on my cough button. Oh, yeah. Because I have one at home, obviously. And now I have my road one that you so wisely suggested. Yeah, you could have brought it. You could have hooked it up right before your microphone. I have it here, but it just seemed like, why am I being extra? But, you know, as a man soon to be 46, there's no getting through an entire episode without me needing to. It's probably actually when I'm, you know, not here, when it's just you here in the inner sanctum of sound, like you're probably. Yeah, me, too. I pulled out my microphone. Do your thing. Clear my throat a lot. Right. But now that I'm here, you can't do that either. I'm sorry. We're both suffering for our art this morning. Yes, exactly. But it's worth it because we owe it to Honey Hanson in Moab, Utah, who is our first dazzling donor that we want to thank. Honey is dazzling us with her donation each month and keeping the show going. Honey says, hi, thanks for being you and doing what you do.

Thanks.

I think Honey meant having to awkwardly clear your throat right at the beginning of the dazzling. That's who I am, Andrew. That's what I am.

What we are are people who don't apparently do retakes because that's the amazing thing about that. you like it was literally the first word out of your mouth and then you had to clear your throat editable i just figured like oh we'll just stop and take it you know we'll just restart the music like it was one second into the new segment but um now we've gotten about five minutes of content

out of it so i don't think we can go back that's a really good question like when we do when i'm working on uh live wire we have this podcast we're doing now called the best news and you know to let people behind the curtain if i were to do that during that podcast i would stop and wait because There's a dedicated editor Somebody would come out My good friend Trey out in DC I would just know that Trey would fix that later And if we are looking for a fact or figure If we hit any kind of what feels like weirdness We'll stop, we'll do it over And then someone will fix it later You don't read Wikipedia on the fly the way I might But the thing is, TBTL is just the weirdness That's what the show is Me having a glottal situation not unlike when i was in a mall in the night visitors a story that i've told too many times on this program uh but i'll i'll tell it again because it's honey's favorite story i know this um i was in this operetta when i was in eighth grade called them all night visitors john carlo minati and i was very nervous and i was also uh right before the show very hungry somebody had french fries backstage and i started horrible

them down went out on stage and the very first note of the opera was supposed to be me singing and or at least the first note that I was supposed to sing after the the orchestra and we this was like live music so the the student orchestra from the school played this you know beautiful introduction I'm sitting out there on in what's supposed to be a field I'm staring I'm you know seeing this beautiful light in the sky which indicates the wise men are coming through and I'm supposed to sing this beautiful note and I go to sing the beautiful note and I just start regurgitating french fries the whole french fry just comes out of your throat i mean it was it was rough on the stage so um that was the beginning andrew of my radio career of knowing that really what people want is just the weird stuff that's right and honestly it does fit into

what honey hansen is saying here just thank you for being you and doing what you do and that's

what we do uh honey says and i'm actually trying to i've i've read a little bit ahead in honey's message and now i'm trying to do this uh honey says thanks for being you take a minute to check out the landscape of the moab area on google earth okay google so this is not google maps we

need to go to google or this is the globe yes yeah my only problem here and if the rest of the show i'm a little distracted that's not honey because like once you open up google earth like i just keep spinning that globe around and zooming in and out for the rest of the show i've done this

before on the show now you know what's interesting is um my google okay here we go it took a minute to load but how spoiled are we as humans andrew i just 15 seconds i just i was following listener and donor honey's directions to look up moab on google earth i typed i got to google earth i put in moab it took 15 seconds for me to see a more vivid three-dimensional this is amazing topographical layout of a part of the world that is thousands of miles from this room andrew it It took 15 seconds for me to have complete and total three-dimensional awareness of this place, and I said, something's wrong. I know. I'm looking at this now.

I am broken. I mean, right now, Google Earth is spinning around the Moab Valley or whatever this— Elvis Rock, Potash, Boat Ramp. And I am seeing things that, like, in a movie growing up, they wouldn't have even been able to imagine this. Even in a sci-fi movie, they would. I mean, this is like literally enhance, enhance. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm enhancing this image. Let me put it this way, Andrew.

Incredible. As of 100 years ago, so as of 1922, I would say that 90% of the human beings that were on planet Earth on May 5th, 1922, were drunk because it was Cinco de Mayo. And they were like, woo! No, I would say that 90% of the people on – I would say 99% of the people on planet Earth in this moment 100 years ago had never and would never actually lay eyes on Moab, Utah. Yeah, yeah. Would have never with their own eyes. Maybe a picture in a book. Maybe a picture in a book. But I think that's what brings it to 99%.

Yeah, yeah.

Of the world. So we're talking – think about France. That's of the world.

I am thinking about France.

Think about Sri Lanka.

Think about Sri Lanka now

Think about Canada That was less exotic Like what we're looking at right here Is something that is I think about this all the time When I'm on the airplane taking off or landing Even if it's a place That I've taken off from many times Even if it's Seattle I stare out the window And I am struck by the fact that I am in As far as human history goes I am in an incredibly small percentage Of humankind that has ever had this experience of looking at a city or mountain range from 30,000 feet. That is so rare if you think about all the people that have been on this planet over time.

And I know this is just an obvious thing to say, and I sound like a child pointing it out, but like, and it just keeps going. I mean, there will be a time when, you know, kids will look back at what our technology was in 2022 and just be like, how did they even survive? Sure. Like, how did they survive without any information? By the way, I'm looking at this Moab area, which is, of course, just a natural wonderland, yet I'm also zooming in into the little city itself. And I'm fascinated by the four ballparks that are all abutted next to each other right in the center of town, the Center Street ballparks. Maybe it's just because it's baseball season. I'm very into that as well.

My association for many years with Moab was there was a particular kind of sandal. It may have been made by Teva or Teva, for those in the know. I believe there is a certain camp that would say that it's Teva. Okay. But I don't know if it was a Teva or Teva.

a product or somebody else but there was one of those kind of like hiking sandals that I believe was called a Moab or maybe it was some shoe that was called a Moab and I don't think I even knew that that referred to a place when I was a kid but here's what Honey is saying I listen to the show while I'm exploring this amazing place I know it seems like it won't be good radio but I have faith in you oh I think we just created some

astounding radio Honey you be the judge Honey did you just hear me talk about how I'm looking at an aerial view of baseball.

Did you just hear me say how amazing it is to be on an airplane and look at things? Do you know how many edibles I had on the way over

this morning? Did you just hear us talking about hiking sandals? That's why you had faith in us, and your faith was well-placed. I'm also going to have to look up

what the Moab shoe was, because I think I might have already been wrong. Oh, no. It's like a style. It's a Merrill. Well, you know what? Yeah, I think maybe I felt like it might have predated. I think there was another there was either a nike or adidas product i believe that was called a moab okay i just know that i knew it about it being on a shoe before i knew about it being on a nike moab shoes okay i can go to the mall of america in bloomington and get some so anyway i love the fact that honey's

like it might not be good radio but just look at the the the desert around moab and we're like

googling shoes now and i'm figuring out that i can get a i can get some kind of moab product at the mall in Bloomington, Minnesota. Second to Moab, only second to Moab in terms of beautiful places in the world, the Bloomington Mall. I'm going to look that up on Google Maps. Thank you, honey, for your donation. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dattle.

We've also got to thank Carolyn Curly of Encinitas, California. Ah, this is, we always run into this whenever we're down there in North San Diego County. I always mix up Encinitas and a different town in that part of the world. Encinitas, I believe, is the one that's out on the beach, out on the water.

You know what? Carolyn actually sent me an email related to this Dazzling Donor message. I'm going to Google Earth Encinitas. And she even said, Encinitas, the one, and I think she said like the one by the water or the one that isn't or something. Oh, well, good.

So we've narrowed it down.

Well, I just mean that she predicted. I'm no help here. I'm not claiming that. But I love the fact that she's like, no, remember, I'm Encinitas, the one that is blank. And this is exactly what she's talking about.

I think by the water. I don't know. I'm looking it up right now. I'm going to jump from Moab over to Google Earth. It's funny because I was just, yes, it's on the water. It's in the water area. I just drove relatively close to Encinitas, California, when I was down there in Oceanside the other day. Encinitas is a very, very lovely place And not just because Carolyn's there Although I will say this Carolyn gave us a very helpful pronouncer On how to say the name Carolyn But I'm slightly freelancing on the last name

It is Curly And I didn't put that in the notes I'm sorry, again, me and Carolyn were going back and forth On this dazzling donor message And she did say, yes, Curly, like Curly Hair Or she said Curly, like John Curly But she wanted to make it very clear That she has no relation to John Curly

How wild is it that Carolyn, who I'm learning As I read ahead in this message Is a biology professor at UC San Diego Yes How weird is it that Professor Curley Knows about someone named John Curley Oh yeah Presumably exclusively through this show Right Unless Carolyn lived in Seattle And was some sort of Cairo listener That is all sort of second hand information To this person whose brain is normally Full of important biology information Yes This is Carolyn's message My normal job is as a biology professor At UC San Diego But I wanted to promote a non-biology book That I've been working on for a couple of years The book is The Guidance Groove How to Stop Living in Unproductive Grooves Did you consider How to be groovy In ungroovy times Carolyn

I'd just say it's still out there It was right there Can I just say Carolyn's note was Encinitas, one of Luke's road trip To California when he was young In broke towns

Exactly. Encinitas, Solana Beach and La Jolla. Those were all places that in my college and then post-college years when I was very broke, but I was hanging out with people who knew someone who was less broke, which is when I fell in love with North San Diego County and that whole general area. The actual title of Carolyn's book That's in progress is The Guidance Groove How to Stop Living in Unproductive Grooves Connect with Inner Guidance And Increase Your Authenticity and Happiness I would say we have increased our authenticity On the show, Andrew I think so, too We've achieved one part of the four-part system Put forward in Carolyn's book

Yes, I would have agree in the book i teach you how to find connect with uh and value and trust your own personal guidance so your choices will stem from a place of true authenticity this naturally leads to greater ease contentment and joy the guidance groove is also a manual for recognizing when your behaviors fall into one of four unproductive grooves inadequacy obligation scarcity and unworthy about four for four on that i'm a clean sweep maybe three for four maybe for your donation next year carolyn you send us a couple copies of this book so i think i'm three for four but it's just because i don't know what scarcity means so you can stop allowing for the false stories arising from your beliefs in these unproductive grooves that drive the decisions in your life guess what mary holden the former tbtl virgin is my editor i think i heard about this they connected through tbtl this is amazing right now is this i remember hearing somewhere maybe from you andrew that that mary the tbtl virgin was actually collaborating with a 10 on a book and it was this book or is it possible it's happening in two different places happening

somewhere else but a while back uh i think carolyn reached out to me and said hey can you put me in touch i think this is how it works my apologies uh if i'm centering myself in a story where i don't belong but i'm pretty sure carolyn asked me if i could put them in touch with each other

She is now a friend, and Mary is outstanding at her job. If you need an editor, consider Mary. We hope the book will be published this summer. If tens want to learn more about The Guidance Groove, please visit guidancegroove.com. Leave your email, and I'll let you know when the book is available. Promoting The Guidance Groove on TBTL is scary, but I feel safe enough to do it because Luke and Andrew are courageous and inspiring in their own daily expressions of vulnerability, and the tens are so kind and encouraging. Love to Andrew Luke And all the tens From Carolyn That's really sweet

That's amazing And congratulations To both of you On launching this project

I'm going to check A website though Go to GoDaddy I want to know If how to be groovy And ungroovytimes.com Is taken Yeah Because I just I think there's got to be Something there But okay Carolyn and Mary I trust you You know what you're doing So everybody go check out Guidancegroove.com And pick up that book When it comes out Thank you Carolyn For supporting the show We really do appreciate you hello and welcome to top story um what do you want to talk dolly parton or sounders let's talk dolly parton first okay because all i mean the thing on the sounders which i already sort of let's do this let's talk about the sounders for two minutes okay and then let's talk about dolly because i think you and i are both woefully under-informed on mls soccer and i know we have A lot of fans that are very into it and it's Just gonna be it's like when I hear Howard Stern Trying to talk about NFL football it's Just like I want to I want to like Warg into him and try to Help him know at least three

Things about it is he trying to be interested In it and just doesn't get it or is he kind of Making fun of it because he thinks it's like Sports are stupid or what no he's somewhere

In between it's just if it comes up on The show it becomes very apparent Very quickly that he Doesn't really follow he'll catch a Monday night game or something and Al Michaels is actually on their show a lot. Oh, that's interesting. He's actually a great guest. But anyway, this thing happened yesterday that I didn't realize what a big deal it was, which was there's this thing called the CONCACAF Cup, which is, if I understand it right, it's basically a tournament that happens between Mexico and North America. And if you win it, so it's the MLS, Major League Soccer, Which is the kind of American pro soccer thing And then teams that are in Mexico And it's never been won By an MLS team It's I guess It's been held a bunch of times And six times a team From the U.S. has actually made it to the finals And the U.S. was 0 for 6 And And those aren't MLS teams right

Those are just other American clubs

I think the MLS was 0 for 6

Oh it was actual MLS teams that had made it So okay gotcha

And so finally, and also this is one of the many ways in which I don't fully understand how soccer works because a lot of times it comes down to points scored over the course of a few games. Like the sports that I tend to watch are like you won the game or you lost the game. But soccer is, and actually, you know, this is more like a representative, what do they call this? Proportional representation in politics. So, you know, we have a winner takes all system in the U.S. So, oh, you, you know, you lost by two votes. Now the other person gets to do everything, even though the roughly 50 percent of the people who voted for you have no voice now. That seems like a weird system. It does. A lot of other countries. It's like, well, yet our country is thriving. And that's what's so cool. And yet we're so free. That's what.

so great as was yes but anyway um so soccer is one of those things where at least depending on the league some so sometimes you can you're just trying to win in overall points which is you know again kind of makes sense it's like the mariners thing the mariners will score 10 runs in a game and then no runs in like five games and you're we're always thinking like could we parcel these out yeah right exactly so if i understand right last night when this team from mexico city the Pumas came up to Lumen Field to play the Sounders the Sounders had played in Mexico City or had played this Pumas team previously somewhere else I think in Mexico and they had sort of tied it up in this way that that going into this match last night the thought was the Sounders were in a pretty advantageous position but again this had just never happened before and so the fact that the Sounders managed to actually win this match last night and again in front of 68,000 people The most people to ever watch one of these CONCACAF Cup matches

Is it also, did I hear this wrong? Because I had caught a little bit of this leading up to it Just by kind of having sports radio on all the time I thought this was also, and I could be wrong here But I thought this was the most attended MLS game in MLS history I don't know if I'm wrong about that That's a good question But I think I saw that By the way, I was offered a ticket to go to this game And you Match Sorry, sorry, sorry yourself again um i didn't turn it down i well we had work to do last night i probably would have gone i mean i haven't even been to a baseball game yet it's been so cold i've been such a wiener about not wanting to go to a baseball game when it's like kind of cold and damp although we have a retractable roof andrew i think you mean uh carlos danger about it good joke good callback um good callback to 2014 uh no i um yeah so anyway i i would have i think i would have been tempted it was my good friend paulie who's mentioned on the show quite a bit

um our sound guy on the pickleball shoot had tickets oh did he and he was like are we good here with pickleball i'm a i'm a bounce yeah because we're oh we had to take the ferry oh by the way the ferry was completely sounders fans coming from bainbridge over to basically where

the field is well i was just looking here there was another thing that i caught i think i saw on twitter yesterday that it was kind of cute that the um the pumas brought their mascot up to seattle I think and did you see some photos of the Puma mascot like hanging out on Seattle Ferries and like I didn't see that Seattle fans yeah I thought It was kind of I might have Seen that out of context but it sort of seemed like it was kind of A nice friendly Friendly vibe between this opposing Mascot and Seattle fans

So in winning this CONCACAF Cup Seattle Will now get an Automatic entry into the FIFA Club World Cup which brings together They're the continental champions of federations from Asia, Africa, South America, Oceania, and Europe. So just to kind of put that in context, Seattle is going to be playing in a tournament where the European team will either be Liverpool or Real Madrid. Wow.

Those are some – that's some Premier League-ass shit. And the Sounders will play as the Sounders? Did I see something weird that they're actually going to play as a different team? I don't know about that part. Okay, that doesn't make any sense to me. Honestly, and I'm not trying to, you know, I'm not a soccer. Don't be the hearers. I'm not a soccer. I'm not a Seattle listener. The Seattle listeners. Actually, that sounds like a Seattle team, doesn't it? The Seattle non-problematics. I'm not trying to make fun of soccer because it's like I like stupid sports. Other people like their stupid sports and, like, you know, like people like different things.

Listen, in the words of NOLA, people can like different things.

Yeah. But I do think that sometimes, you know, I mean, I would be lying if I didn't every now and then, like kind of if I'm just with Genevieve sort of snidely make fun of the, you know, the people flopping on a pitch or something like that. But like in all seriousness, like talking here publicly to a bunch of people who like soccer, I think it's I think that thing is like I like football and soccer is stupid or vice versa. Those arguments, I think, are just ridiculous. We like what we like and we fall into these things in a certain way. But one of the reasons maybe I'm not super into soccer, aside from the flopping, is that it is just very, very complicated. The way these different I think I was loud wrong on the well, probably like medium size wrong on the attendance record. I think it was just a CCL attendance record, not an MLS attendance record. My apologies for that. But yeah, no, I mean, I think that had I just had a different path, I would be a huge soccer fan right now and not give two hoots about football or something. I'm sure there's a reality where that is the case But it is very complicated Because it is Or it seems like it from the outside Because it is the points are spread across various games And you have this Sorry matches And because you have all

these different leagues but then sometimes there's these interleague play and you know there's a rich history and all of that is to say that's why when I read a sentence today in the Deadspin article I thought it said that the Sounders were going to play not against a certain team but they were going to play as a certain team and saying it out loud to you now publicly I realize how ridiculous that sounds but I was like huh soccer it would like totally yeah you were like well I it seems

like it could happen yeah right why not here's what's here's what's really interesting about about soccer or football that's so different from like american football so let's just say that the seahawks win the super bowl there's no one for them to go play in europe who's better than there's not international football like american football tournaments yeah where you our basketball team i mean they're international tournaments but it's like the thing about soccer that is actually kind of pure and interesting is you have a soccer team in seattle they're called the sounders they happen to play in major league soccer that's the league they're in in america but if they are those dudes on that team if it happens that they are the best at soccer in the world yeah there are mechanisms for them to play everybody else in the world yeah which is kind of a cool and pure thought because if you're like you know it's i guess you could say sort of like the olympics or something like if they so they they have now proven that they are the best team in north america as as defined by this conca calf tournament so now they're going to represent this continent to and they're going to battle the people from the other continents including potentially liverpool or real madrid and if they were to beat them which would never happen they would be the best i mean i know the world cup is but to see the world cup is made up of obviously national teams that are made up of all the players so as far as if i understand this right individual teams that are not made up of like all the best players from a country but rather just a country just a team yeah that somebody has that's in seattle if they win the fifa world cup the argument could be made they're the best soccer team in the world there's no mechanism for that in other sports right the mariners can't play every other baseball team and they can't play a team from japan a team from puerto rico and say we're the best at this of the whole world yeah it's kind of cool that in soccer that exists as a thing yeah and just because i'm

too dumb to understand it doesn't mean that it's not cool another thing and i'm gonna i'm gonna muck this up big time but i remember talking to a friend of mine who is a soccer fan or somebody who follows this stuff at least um and there's some sort of mechanism in one of these in one of these i don't know if it's a european um what's the word i'm looking for not a club but a league i don't know if it's a european league or an international league but there's some sort of system where like the bad teams can drop down until eventually they're not even in the league anymore you got to fight your way back in like i like them stakes i actually think that's a cool thing right like what if the mariners would have been eliminated years ago maybe i shouldn't because but i mean the team doesn't go away it's not like right it's this bullshit capitalism thing where it's kind of like oh well we're just going to move the team to a different city the team still exists but the stakes are so high that you have to fight for your right to play against these other teams That's compelling

Do you think the Sounders will be able to beat The team from Ted Lasso

Do I think the Mariners Would be able to beat the Sounders at baseball At baseball

Not on the road Actually this is a legitimate question They're going to bounce back I sure hope I'm a Sounders fan now That's the thing Mariners that doesn't look like anything to me After being swept in Houston That was rough disgusting. You know, I'm going to my first Mariners game of the season on Sunday, taking my mom from Mother's. Rick Riz finally broke through to this heart

of stone. Are you going to get her one of the it's clear purse day for moms? I don't know if you saw that. I sent that to our text. I don't know why, and I don't want to, again, I don't want to yuck any yums if you like it, but there was something about the promotional day being on Mother's Day, bring your mom to the ballpark and she gets a clear purse, because of course, now you can't take bags Into T-Mobile Park And I found it just so So deeply depressing I don't know why Get mom a clear bag So that we know she's not taking a gack Into T-Mobile I don't know what it was I'm going to get my mom nothing And that's going to be better than a clear bag From T-Mobile Park

But what if it has a sponsorship From Steel Power Tools on it

It was EQC Even better I didn't even notice that I sent a picture to you guys And I think the half-former Jin John said Oh, what really classes it up Is the EQC Casino logo In the bottom right-hand corner Like, get mom what she's always wanted

A tiny, clear, vinyl purse That's off-gassing for the rest of her life Will never lose

that vinyl smell that will also remind her that the biggest and best stars in the Northwest come to the Emerald

Queen Casino. Having said that, I still want free tickets to Mariners games if anybody from the club is listening. Yeah, and I will be

you know what? I will have a full report on Monday on how geeked my mom was on the clear purse.

Oh, well, see, now I feel bad. No, no, no, no. People like stuff. They like stuff. There is something about the promotion that it'll be and it's also, you know, me, I kind of hate that new bag policy, too. So yeah, part of it. But

it'll be interesting to see because my mom, my mom I can never predict What her reaction to something is going to be I think she could either be like Oh cool I got this thing Or she could be like this is a little cheesy Like you know what I mean When I invited her to the game I was telling I think I was telling you this maybe last night But like I called her and I said hey what are you doing on Sunday And she was like nothing and I was like do you want to go to the Baseball game for Mother's Day I'm going to be in town She was like yeah And now the Phillies are coming to town on Monday And my mom being from Philadelphia Is obsessed with all things Could she name a Philadelphia Phillies player If you hung her over an alligator pit No Does she know what the Phillies record is No If you hung her over a fanatic pit

Just like a bunch of Philly fanatics

With gritty pushing her No But after she was all She was very excited She was like oh cool Then she was like Are they playing the Phillies on Sunday And I was like no I think it's the Tampa Bay Rays The Phillies don't come till Monday She was long paused and she goes, that could still be fun.

I thought you said, oh, I still want to go. Something to that effect. Oh, well, good, because that's Mother's Day.

It was like she was like basically the message was, I'll take it. I'll still even though it's not the Phillies. It'd be better if it was the Phillies. Right. If we could get the Phillies to come to Seattle one day early, we get the Rays to agree to leave early. That'd be the ideal. But, you know, this will still be great. I'll take the clear bag. So my mom will either think the clear bag is the coolest thing ever Or she will think it's a complete POS

Now I'm trying to think if I can name somebody on the Phillies I couldn't My understanding of the rest of the league is so bad As demonstrated by our fantasy football team this year Fantasy baseball team The fact that I call it fantasy football Means I'm probably not ready for fantasy baseball But yeah, we're not doing great We won our first matchup It's like a weekly, it's like these weekly matchups We squeaked out a win last week in week three, but it doesn't look like we'll be pulling out any miracles this week.

I have a lot of faith in you, Andrew. I think you're going to—just like the Mariners are going to right the ship, so to speak, I think that the high school Buds Sea Leagues are going to right the ship.

But at least the Mariners know what they're doing wrong. I don't even know what— You're in unknowable, unknowable territory. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going on my friend Pauly, who I just mentioned before, is like, you gotta, what, the whole way you play is you gotta, you gotta go to the wire, you gotta move things around, but I'm like, I'm so scared to, like, drop somebody who's actually good, but I don't know it, just to pick up somebody who's bad, but anyway, I'm going to the wire, I'll tell you about it some other time.

Alright, we, I think, we'll have to, let's push Dolly Parton conversation until tomorrow's show, because I do think it's kind of an interesting story how she has to not be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I also think, and this will be a teaser, I also think it's potentially one of the worst first lines to a story that I've read in a while. I shouldn't say that because I think I say that about a lot of stories. But my God, this USA Today article starts off with, I feel like, the worst lead sentence.

Excellent. We'll get on our journalism tomorrow. Also, we are going to talk to our friend Brendan Francis Noonan. You may have known him from The Dinner Party Download and lots of other places, the Paris Review podcast. He's got this new travel podcast out called Not Lost. And I'm actually in one of the episodes. I went to Vegas with him. This was before the pandemic. And we're going to talk to him as well. So lots of fun media content on tomorrow's program to make sure to tune in for.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing but one.

Wowzers, do we have a lot of blursies today. Wowzers in your trousers. Wowzers in me trousers. I think that is actually a drop we play that is probably soccer related. So it's all coming together. I'm going to start here with April and James in Maine who want to send a birthday message to their youngest five, Merit, who turns seven. He's thoughtful, funny, so creative, and a kind friend to animals and people. Animals first, people sing. And an excellent brother. I'm with you, Merit. And he's the best son. Mama and daddy love him a million, trillion, gajillion.

budgillion quadrillion times another a million. That's a lot. That might be too much. No. I mean, I don't know if, is there? Heck of a kid. That's how much money Elon Musk earns every 45 seconds. That's what Tesla's worth. That's what Elon Musk could give each American instead of buying Twitter.

All 44 of us.

Rachel says, I want to wish my husband Matt the most special birthday ever. This is a huge milestone, and it fills me with joy to celebrate in Arizona and hopefully hear his Blur's Day shout-out while we're adventuring around the desert together. Oh, wow. Love, Rachel. Rachel, you and Matt be safe out there.

That's right. Now, happy Blur's Day to Grace from Andrew. My ten of a wife, says Andrew, is turning double three. That's 33 on May 2nd. It falls between Blur's Days this year. I missed the one prior. So if you could be a true Andrew and give her a shout-out on my behalf, I'd greatly appreciate it. And I will repay you in the Andrew afterlife. That isn't something I've considered. P.S. Grace is the one who suggested the key maker for Luke. And every time he brings it up, she boasts proudly. This is your fob, right? For your apartment, you needed a fob made?

OMG. I don't think there is a piece of feedback or advice from the listeners that has changed my life more profoundly over the last two years of apartment dwelling than Grace, who I think either was or is a dog walker and so was dealing with this all the time, various keys and fobs and trying to get in and out of places. there is a thing called Kimi, not to be confused with Bear Me! Kimi! And it seems like too good to be true, but it's just, there are these kiosks in Portland, they've got them in like the lobbies of the Fred Meyer, and you go in and if you have a fob from your apartment building or even work, I don't know what your HR policy is, you just you scan the existing fob and then it'll just make you it'll make you as many copies as you want and andrew this is the thing look at my cell phone see this oh yeah you have it stuck i've got a flat one that you just stick to the back of your cell phone oh wow and it is so so i don't have to worry when i'm leaving my house coming back i don't have to worry about even having a fob on my keychain or whatever i have this very low profile very flat thing that's just stuck to the back of my cell phone case that works and every time i get in my elevator and there's another resident of my building and i scan the fob thing with my phone they are it is envy It's shock It's respect It's Some level of sexual attraction They're just like What did you just do? How did you do that? Because everybody in that building is always fumbling For this fob that's either loose in a pocket Or it's on their keychain which is now taken on Like a sort of custodial level Of shit

Do you keep a backup fob on you anywhere? Because I will say that The more one uses their phone as both a wallet where all their money is if you're doing the tap-a-tap-a-tap to pay for your groceries and you have your phone is now your key, your phone is this and that. I worry that you lose the phone. You're really SOL and that's how you find yourself trying to dig it out of an outhouse on a trail somewhere. What if I have a dog leash? Yeah. I don't know.

See how strong it is. You know, it's funny. She went from repelling to repellent. How'd we miss that one? But do you worry about that? No, because I have, like, you know me, Andrew. I think it was in the Groove Guidance book. I'm forgetting the specific name of Carolyn's book. But scarcity, the idea of scarcity, you know me. I have sort of, I always think everything's going to go away all the time. So when I went to the Kimi kiosk at the Fred Meyer, I probably ordered like seven different kinds of fobs. But they're all behind your locked door. But I don't use the fob to get into my door. I use the fob to take the elevator and get into the building. So I could get into the building from somebody else letting me in or calling the front office. Sure, sure. I could go up the stairs. I could have somebody else scan me in the elevator. Sure, okay. My door, now, Andrew, my door is locked behind a smart lock.

So you have a code that you're carrying in your brain all the time.

Nope, my phone or my watch is also a thing that I could. And also I have a key hidden somewhere in my apartment building that will get me into. Okay, do you realize? What a fun game. I really do. I have a key to my front door, which will work. Let's just say the smart lock battery dies. I lose my phone. I have a key hidden in my apartment building that only I know where it is, and I could go get it if I needed to and get myself into my apartment. That's funny because as I was saying that before, I was like, I feel like I would hide a key somewhere. Yes, that's exactly what I did.

Point being, Grace, that advice was so helpful to me, and I really do appreciate you and wish you the happiest of Blurs. Jane and Alan say Kathleen, our very clever May Day, Blurs Day daughter, moved from Seattle to Minnesota a couple of years back. She found TBTL in Minnesota and gratefully brought her parents into the fold. She was hooked on Garbage Talk. We haven't even gotten into that. How's your... Oh, today's Garbage Day.

I've got to go outside and see if they picked up the fridge.

Operation Refrigerator.

Now, the actual, I know that they picked up. Operation Refrigeration. God damn it, it was right there. I'm sorry I swore during your message, Kathleen. Get your refrigerator out of my gunk hole. I do have it timed out pretty well now. I know that the trash collection, the black bin, is picked up around 1 or 1.10 every day. So I will check that in a little bit and see if they took the frish.

Kathleen was hooked on garbage day, and so are we. garbage day talk that is happiest of blurs days to our one in a million ten treasure kathleen ah that's sweet do you think my mom knows there is a segment on the show called the blurs days does your mom know does my mother just because this is kathleen's parents right oh jane and alan yeah right who have now been brought into the tbtl universe wishing their daughter a happy blurs day i'm saying do you think my actual mother who i am taking to the baseball game on Sunday, which is also my actual

I don't think any of my parents would know either I don't like it that way Yeah, you're right, it's a good point Happy Blur's Day to Chattanoogan Christopher Snorheron Johnson from your TBTL daddy, Colette Now, I usually leave last names off but with the nickname Snorheron in here, which you guys do you

I felt like I needed the rhythm of the first last name They advertise some sort of product that will help you with your snore hair in it. Yes, exactly. Is that some sleep system that we're doing ads for? I think so. Kelly in Rhode Island says, I'd like to send a belated happy 50th birthday to Mario in Miami.

Sorry, Mario.

Sorry, Mario. We no longer live a few streets away. You know, I just said the other day I was talking about the wrong baseball stadium. We were talking about Tropicana Field in Tampa, and I was confusing it with Minute Maid Park in Miami. but I was saying peace and love to our Miami listeners I didn't realize that we'd had by my count now at some point three count them trace Miami listeners we would have had Zinzi oh yeah we would have had well actually maybe the point is Mario was in Rhode Island because Kelly's in Rhode Island who knows the migration pattern here but what we know is Mario is also in Miami yeah that's right Kelly points out we no longer live a few streets from each other but I can still consider him to be one of my dearest friends I miss you and hope we'll be able to karaoke it up at a TBTL event in the not too distant future cheers to another 50 I'm not officially saying karaoke will break out in Denver on May 27th but I would be surprised if it didn't knowing this group of folks we're going to be having a live trivia night in Denver May 27th if you can get to Denver come say hi

by the way Kelly in Rhode Island I'm realizing is another teacher in our audience and we played that special Intro package today Upon request it's very rare that we Get a request for an intro package but it was Celebrating teachers that request Came from Heidi in Minnesota another long Long time friend of the show so You know happy teacher appreciation week to

Everybody heck yeah we have so many Teachers in our listening audience I take that As high praise for our show Andrew You know I love to talk about how not Good the show is but if we have Teachers who are absolutely Living treasures in this Society we have teachers voluntarily listening to this program. We must be doing something

okay-ish. I feel that way, too. I feel like I got as close as I could be to Rick Riz when I said, Happy Teacher Appreciation Week. Uh-huh.

Because I don't know if you know this. They switched that one up, though, by the way.

They still sometimes run the one, though. You know the new one, though, right? What's the

new one? Can you do the new one from memory? I can't. I can't either. He says something like, it's funny because he goes, you know, Rick Riz says something, you know, complimentary about teachers, and he goes, Teachers are indefatigable That's a word I learned from a teacher

That was running last season too Sarah in Bellingham Hey Bellingham Pickleball capital of the world Happy Blur's Day to my brother-in-law And favorite TBTL granddaddy Brian In the Sweet Cream District Hey Brian Wave if you can see me Wait Are people zeroing in on the Sweet Cream District? I've been getting a lot of emails from people who live in this area I mean, listen, I live in North Seattle. I mean, I think that's pretty clear. I'm not trying to give away. I've said that from the beginning, and people can kind of, I don't mind that people know the general neighborhood that I live in.

I mean, that's fine. I just don't want people putting creepy things in my yard. Like a pickleball court? But anyway, I've actually really liked it. I've gotten emails from a lot of people who are kind of like, hey, I'm in the Sweet Cream District. Thanks for giving it a name. And check out this place or check out that place. And it's been kind of – I've really enjoyed it. So anyway, hello, Brian. We're neighbors now. And Sarah says, as a Kentucky-raised gal, nothing much can top a derby day. But this Saturday I'm much happier to celebrate you, Brian Love, Sarah from Bellingham Is it Derby Day? Yeah, it is On Mother's Day?

It's Mother's Day and the Kentucky Derby It's not, the Derby's on Saturday, I think And Mother's Day's Sunday I think they come, they get pretty close together at times I mean, that was, the Derby I'm, at this point, wow, we're out of the music already I know, we're not Amazing I won't bore everyone with my Kentucky Derby takes I'll just say that Kevin in Bellingham would like to also wish a Happy Blur's Day to Brian because Brian is, apparently, we're being told, and I have no reason to doubt this, Kevin's actual brother. Is this the same Brian, you think? I don't know. Sarah's in Bellingham. Kevin's in Bellingham. Oh, yeah. Okay, I see. They're saying, what up to Brian? I'm starting to think Kevin and Sarah might even know each other in Bellingham. All right. I try not to think too much about the fact that he's also my TBTL daddy. Such tangled family trees are not something to ruminate on during family holidays. I agree. Politics and TBTL are just, leave them out of these family get-togethers because it can only end in tears. As Hank Azaria's character Bartok says in the film Anastasia, this can only end in tears. Wow. I was going to say that too, but I'm glad you took care of me. From my daughter's childhood when, for a period of time, we were watching the VHS tape of the movie Anastasia way too much. Anyway, he is a truly great brother, funny, kind, and always bailing me out of my latest jam, including the flat tire my wife and I had last weekend. That's a good brother. That's just a good person. Anyone you can call when you get a flat tire.

Especially if it's probably raining. Yeah. Jennifer says, I want to wish a happy. We finally get to hang out this weekend to celebrate all the May Blursdays after two years of staying socially distanced to some of my favorite humans. Longtime 10 Dawn in West Seattle and her 11, Courtney. So stoked to swoop it up with y'all this weekend as we collectively flip COVID and cancer the bird. Heck yeah.

Diadley's in Hamden, Connecticut. I'm writing to wish a happy first birthday to my daughter, Ayanna Rose. Did we know that Diadly had a baby? I don't know. I mean, come on, folks. You've got to keep us posted. I mean, I don't want to...

She did keep us posted when we forgot, in which case I feel terrible.

I still put that on Diadly a little bit. I mean, just having that classically relaxing time of raising a child from age zero to one. Right. I mean, that's the time of year and the time of life where you should have a lot of time to keep us constantly updated on these things. Ayana is sweet, loving, and hilarious. She loves to boogie down to the ABCs and Chromio. Wow. You know who would love that? Camaro Kev. Camaro Kev. The world's biggest Chromio fan. True, true, true. Probably Ayana and Camaro Kev. Yes. In that order, the two biggest Chromio fans in America. Happy birthday, Ayana. Baby, mom and dad love you to the moon and back. Come on. Are you even being real right now?

Julie says, please wish my friend and co-worker Rhoda a happy Blur's Day. I love visiting her in the school library to catch up on all things TBTL. I love the idea of visiting somebody at work in a library. And talking about TBTL, that's way cool. Look at this. I can't wait to go feather finding again once the sun comes back out in Portland. Unfortunately, oops, sorry. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. Unfortunately, this year her birthday is not going to be all rainbows and unicorns. So I know a birthday wish from both of you would make her day a little bit better. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Rhoda. Whatever you're dealing with, I hope it's okay. Happy Blur's Day. Get some sunshine.

Also, this is the first time hearing about feather finding in Portland. I love it. I'd find some feathers. Ryan says, happy birthday to Kelly. Kelly, you're an amazing soul and such a light in this world. You have supported me through so much, and it's been an honor and a privilege getting to know you. I know you have many wonderful adventures ahead of you and will surely conquer the world with everything you've got. Nice, sweet.

Happy Blurs, Kel. Bruce in Athens, Alabama. Long time tense. Happy 13th Blurs Day, can you believe it, to my youngest son, Andrew. I like a Blurs Day segment that has multiple.

Andrew's involved. That's me commentating there. It's just so frustrating. I want to be in Florida getting a tan on my back.

I don't know. I just improv that, Andrew. I don't know if Andrew loves that one or not, but now he does.

Andrew is smart as a whip, sassy as can be, and pretty awesome all the way around. He loves music and movies. In fact, recently, we went and checked out Everything Everywhere All at Once, the film. So, yeah, googly eyes on everything now. have the happiest of blurs days son powers now we got to see that movie you saw that right i saw

that movie i haven't seen it and like people like i see people on tiktok in their cars crying after the movie like it's pretty good everything's different now for me i'm like i gotta get to that film before it's fully overexposed in terms of my expectations lisa says i'm writing to wish maya a very happy blurs day we met many years ago at work and have remained in touch even though We both changed jobs several times. She's the only person I have been to a TBTL live event with, and I wouldn't have it any other way. She's super great, and I hope to get to see her soon for another happy hour. Happy Blur's Day, Maya.

Ruby says it's that time of year again when the Thalers get mentioned on the show more times than is really fair. It has been a Thaler Fest. Sure has. But I'm not going to let that stop me from wishing a very happy Blur's Day. The word that comes to mind is ludicrous. Wishing a very happy Blur's Day to Susan, the coolest mom this weird kid could have ever asked for. I mean, she introduced me to TBTL all the way back in 2008. How could she not be the absolute coolest? Love you, Mom. I'm looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. Now, this is curious. How many Blur's Days do we have there? Probably like 20, right? A lot. Not one person, not one person wrote in to wish my friend Luke a happy Blur's Day this Sunday. As you are at the Mariners game Celebrating Mother's Day You will also be celebrating a special day Called Luke Burbank's birthday Happy birthday, buddy

Thank you You know, 46 What do you say about that? I mean, it's the classic It's the number that we all have circled You know, on the calendar From when we're young Yeah, well Everything changes at 46 Yeah, well, you can rent a car now Well, not after the legal issues Can I get a ride to the airport later?

Yeah, right

Happy Blur's Day to everybody out there, and thanks to everyone who emailed in and remembered or honored somebody's Blur's Day. That was fun. All right. That is going to bring today's episode to a close, but the good news is tomorrow, right here in this same pod stream, we're going to have another episode of TBTL for you, so please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Thursday. Stay safe. Stay dry. If you're the Mariners, consider getting a base hit. Yeah. Did they get shut out yesterday? They didn't get shut out.

If they had, it would have been historic. It would have been the first time in club history that they got shut out three days in a row. Club history, but not MLB history. No, just team history. But Suarez did hit a late game two-run home run in like the seventh or eighth. That didn't really help us.

Look up cold comfort.

Kept us out of the history books at least.

I say go big or go home, Andrew. If we're going to get shut out, let's see if we can get four games. Yeah. Create a record that will never be broken. Yeah. Anyway, I'm doing fine. That's the point. I know.

We'll see you tomorrow.

They're coming home, baby. They're coming home. That's right. Me and my mom will be there on clear purse night on Sunday. Have a great Thursday. Thanks. See you tomorrow. Until then, please remember to mount too tall. And good luck to all. Bye.

they say teachers don't impact for a year but for a lifetime power out