Muse

Good afternoon, Mrs. Pan. This is Vince Knappmaker from Public Radio's The World Is My Bot. We wanted to call you to thank you for being a continued supporter of Public Radio. But we wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to increase your support. Every dollar counts. Do you have any idea how much it costs to act like you're this much better than everyone else? And furthermore, our uppity podcasts aren't going to create themselves. So please, as always, for the sake of tote bags everywhere, put a bunch of cash in a paper and or plastic bag and leave it on the doorstep. TBTL Gentlemen to bed, for we leave at 9.30. Ish. Ish. Gentlemen to bed.

For we leave at 8.30 for 9. Where are we, dude? I'm a Grammy, Emmy, Tony, and Webby Award winning and nominated songwriter, artist, designer, director, editor, animator, producer, collector, party thrower.

www.this and www.that. Let's www.explain it.

TVTL!

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

I've been waiting for this moment for months, and it's finally here.

Coming to you today from the Mile High City. Hi, everybody. That's right, Denver, Colorado. So as we kick off TBTL-a-thon 13, let the fun begin. Let the fun begin. We've got a special week of programming in store for all of you. This is special. This is special. This is the time of year when we all gather together to remember just how much we love this program.

I just want to hug this show and never let it go.

And just how much we need you to donate to keep it going for another, I guess, 357 days or whatever not this five days are. We could use some donations to...

That cash could really get me out of a couple of jams.

Get to do this for another year. So we have a really fun show in store for you today. We are going to take your phone calls. Ahoy, ahoy. Because we are, in fact, live streaming this thing right now on YouTube. I guess if you are in a position to call, if you're hearing this in real time, like, you already know that because you're watching it on YouTube, but the phone number is 206-414-TBTL, 206-414-8285. We will just be grabbing calls at random throughout the hour. We're also going to try to solve a mystery here at this Airbnb in the River Arts District of Denver, Colorado, And that is, is the landlord of this Airbnb actually a Scientologist? Those scientists better check their hypotenuses, dude. There's something going on with the Wi-Fi here, or at least the alleged Wi-Fi that had me wondering. And there's actually some other, let's just say quirks of this place, which we'll be investigating throughout the week. We'll also be investigating why it is that my dear friend Andrew Walsh chose the smallest car available at the rental car lot.

It's quaint. It's small. It's family. I like it. It's a lot of fun.

In order to drive across one to two mountain ranges while traveling out here to Denver may not have been the absolute best call he could have made. I've made a huge mistake. But anyway, we'll get into that. Speaking of my friend, Andrew, while she is the longest running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships and his selections of the small cars. He is joining me from just over about maybe two feet away from me on this plush velvet couch here in Denver.

I'm like seriously excited. I'm kind of shy, but mostly excited.

Good morning, my friend.

It's not a Yaris. I would have taken a Yaris if I could have rented a Yaris.

Strong Yaris energy, though, coming off of it. It's a Mitsubishi Mirage, Andrew. And what I was able to do.

Oh, you found out it's a Mirage. I didn't even know what kind of car it was. I knew it was a Mitsubishi.

Not only did I make a note of what model of Mitsubishi it was, but I was able to find the recent U.S. News and World Report review of the Mitsubishi Mirage. And I've got it right here. And I'd like to read you what the car heads are saying about the car that you drove here in.

I'm really interested in hearing that. But can we set up exactly how I ended up with this car? Please do.

So I would like to hear. we're talking about here so here we are in denver i'm very excited to be here in denver you flew in from one of your um hollywood television shoots literally i was doing a hollywood television shoot and i had to bring a whole bunch of radio equipment and seattle to denver is a 21 hour drive it made a lot more sense for me and i do believe this was the right call made a lot more sense for me to turn this into a little road trip where i pack up all of my stuff and um head well across the mountains although i wasn't really thinking about the mountains well there's very little

in the lore about this part of the world uh you know rocky mountain high mile high city why would

you think of that and also just like even driving through washington's own mountain because you had to cross the cascades exactly to get to the next range um but anyway i really don't okay couple of things about me i don't know much about cars i'm kind of car blind um and also it's so rare that I've that I ever rent cars I thought this was my first time actually renting a car but actually it is true that I rented a Yaris one time when we were in Arizona Phoenix yeah and I love I love a boxy car I love a hatchback and so anyway I rent this car through the official means like through you know American public media's concur system or whatever and it automatically chose for me like a I think a mid-size intermediate or I can't remember what the word probably some kind

of nissan centra type of deal toyota whatnot yeah and so i've been as you know we had a long

conversation about it yesterday i was like i've been like really anxious about this like way too anxious frankly and about this whole trip and things going wrong or whatever and so then i'm suddenly like going to rent a car and suddenly i'm very anxious about this i'm a 45 year old man

like i should be able to rent a car right but if you don't shaking if you do i don't think i was if you if you if you don't do it a lot anything even when you know you're one of my 45 year old guys it still you know can be intimidating particularly for somebody who deals with a bit of generalized anxiety disorder so i don't think it's i don't think it's completely absurd that you were kind of stressing about the you know can are you allowed to drive it to colorado and back like the mileage yeah uh you know just there's a lot of uh question marks around i was

really focused on the mileage thing because i'm not breaking any rules i actually i can drive this thing for 590 i'm sorry 5998 miles is my limit and as a matter of fact i double check one but

should one andrew having driven this thing this morning to my jog i was just looking for the part of the bottom of the where you put your feet down and actually just like do a fred flinstone

it's actually easier to put it in your pocket yeah so anyway so i'm supposed to get like some sort of mid-sized car or whatever um i i i'm so focused though on like the mileage i'm so worried about like going over mileage and somehow i went into this mode of like making we've used this analogy before like when we're kids and everybody said like don't ever make a phone call from a hotel room it'll cost you'll have to sell your house you'll never be able to afford it it's a thousand dollars a minute so i'm just kind of like don't go over the mileage i was focusing on that um the woman says okay here's your paperwork go downstairs get your car i'm like hey i'm a brand new uh car renter look at me and i go down there and there's a a fine young man but not super helpful and again like i'm not going to be like sir he's half my age like sir i don't know how to rent a car which i do he just kind of like mumbles like you can take you know any of those

which is a whole thing this is a this is a new kind of development in rental car theory in the last i want to say five ten years long ago when i was early in renting cars they would tell you it's this car here are the keys to it and at some point they kind of went with like the soda model like it you know you go to a fast food place and they're like we don't want to deal with the soda anymore it's out there we'll give you a cup you work it out and that's the rental car thing now they'll just go like any of those anything below the erasers above so you can just kind of grab you know you can sort it within a certain range of cars you can kind of grab anyone that strikes

your fancy and then you drive it out of there yeah and so he gestured towards what looked like two cars but they were both kind of sedan kind of cars right like yeah and again i don't know cars i'm totally car blind but as he's kind of pointing across the way at these two cars and just sort of like gesturing like oh and i'm i realize we're standing next to a hatchback and i like hatchbacks i've always just driven something i love how it's i i really want to

be careful i don't sound like i'm giving you a bit too much grief on this the moment i got in this car the hatchback factor is so funny because that's of the qualities of the mitsubishi mirage that I have observed in both looking at it with my eyes and then driving it with my feet today. The hatchback is such a small part of the experience of the car, but that's what drove you to it.

It's not about storage because it's just...

me and you know a few boxes of equipment or what have you it's about and this is where my mind is and this is where we're kind of getting closer to why i'm attracted to these cars like all of the driving i do for the most part is in the city and so i always think like what's easy to park what's easy to navigate not having a trunk means not having a trunk means you can just easily like you can squeeze into places you know i've got my background is a my background is a scion owner which i loved that i identified as a scion owner i had it um before that i drove a minivan was my very first car i like anything where it's like this is the window and this is the bumper you

don't want to like a whole lot of trunk hanging out that could do some damage now of course

everything today has the rear cameras and everything but i'm still in this mindset

including surprisingly your mitsubishi mirage it has i was pleasantly surprised as i was trying to back up in the denver zoo parking lot today so i'm incredibly nervous i'm way too nervous that

i get in this car in the in the parking lot of the or the parking garage of the rental place And I say to the kid Well can I Here's a hatchback I like this one The fact that I'm calling him a kid Really I've really earned my 45 year old stripes Oh boy I will tell you

I was interviewing the actor Who's going to play Elvis Or who plays Elvis In this new Baz Luhrmann movie Yeah I think he's like 30 Which is I mean That's a That's definitely an adult age to be Yes certainly Very accomplished person And I consistently referred to him As a kid To my producer friend Yeah Oh this kid He's a great kid What a good kid Yeah

30 year old man We're doing it We're just becoming our parents But anyway I say well Can I just take this hatchback And I see something Yeah I see something go over this kid's face

Because nobody chooses that car typically

And he's just like Yeah Yeah

It's like you asked Can I just walk to Denver

First of all Also I know I'm not breaking any rules I'm allowed to drive this car for 6,000 miles The woman behind the counter even said Is that going to be enough for you And laughed I said yeah it should be fine But then she said, where are you going for this in-town rental or something like that? And I'm like, oh, just like work stuff around town. Might drive down to Boise. I had no idea why I was lying. I just felt like I was doing something wrong. I didn't read the fine print. I lied to this woman about driving it to Denver, which I probably should have done.

But you admitted to Boise.

Yeah, I just figured it would be closer. A trip from Seattle to Boise is a few hours, right? Like, what is that, seven hours? So anyway, I get in this car. And the second I get in this car and I close the door, I'm like, oh, I think I know what that look on the kid's face was. I just got a matchbox.

There was no appreciable difference between the door being open or closed.

It was just like it was a tiny. It's just like the door just kind of clicked close and it was so light. And immediately I felt like the the lack of heft of this car. Right. Torque. And I'm just kind of like, well, and of course, you in that moment would be like, excuse me, I'm going to take you wouldn't even have to say anything. All you do is walk across the way and grab one of the other cars. that would likely be my response but i was just oh also keep in mind genevieve drove me to this air to the airport where i had to rent the car so i'm also like genevieve's parked in a berm somewhere waiting for me to rent the car and then drive around and move all my equipment from my car to this kind of i'm just yeah yeah you're feeling a lot of pressure you're feeling a lot and so i'm like oh just like just go just do this so i take the car and it's just immediately i can tell the performance aspect of this thing is not great but i'm still not thinking about the mountains I'm like, whatever. It's a little car, like whatever. I go to plug my phone in and I'm ready for the little screen in the middle to be like, okay, where are we going today, Andrew? And like, here's a map for you. None of that shit. None of it.

Well, that's the thing.

It doesn't, and it didn't occur to me that I'm getting, when you pay for a mid-sized car, you're also getting the bells and whistles that come with that. I took a economy. Yes. Do you have a slide whistle? Oh, we need a slide whistle. But yeah, that was the thing. I was like, oh, I don't have any of the little perks of having, you know, being able to plug in my phone and follow a map on the screen. So the whole way here, I've got like my phone. It does have Bluetooth. So I turned the voice directions on my phone for the mapping software, which you usually use. I never use the voice.

When I'm in a city that I don't know, like even this morning when I was driving over to my little jog, I put the voice on because I have a hard time like multitasking of looking at the phone, looking at the road, looking at the phone. I just want it to tell me where I'm going.

I might be changed on that because I do think that voice off, even if I had the better screen, I'm just so used to kind of following the blue line on the screen. But the voice was actually really helpful. And so anyway, so I'm like, then I get to the mountains, the first mountain pass. I'm like, oh, my gosh, this isn't this doesn't have a lot of.

So you're just like in the right lane. Are you getting passed by semi trucks?

No, no, it's not that bad. But the speed limits out here, Luke, starting in Utah, I think, it's like 80 miles an hour.

Some of them in Montana, I believe it's safe and prudent. Have you seen that one? They literally are just like, again, it's like back to the soda model. Work it out. But just try to, you know, be safe and prudent.

But no, I mean, once it gets up to speed, it's fine. And then it really wasn't.

Until I was just outside of Vail, Colorado. And there's something called Vail Pass. And this is close to Denver now. You know, this may be like two hours out. And that was like a real kind of, not quite a switchback thing. But like, it was definitely the toughest mountain to get up. And it was also the only place where I saw a tiny bit of snow when traffic was really slow. And that's where, you know, I'd been in this car driving for like, you know, over the course of two days. Like 20 driving hours or something. And that I was kind of like, is this car going to get me back home? Like, I started like worrying about the trip.

Well, I'm hoping the answer to that is no. Yeah, so, okay. I'm pitching to you, and I think you're open to this, is we got to get on the horn with Enterprise, and we got to get this thing switched out.

Well, this is why I really appreciate you, too, and I sort of feel like there were a couple of things in the prepping for this over the past couple of weeks for this whole adventure that we're doing this week, where it's kind of like, you and I know each other's strengths and weaknesses right now. Play to them, right? Like, there were some things I was like, you felt guilty about not doing some task or something.

I haven't written enough of the Mad Libs or done any of the technical stuff.

And I was like, that's fine. That's what I do. But now here I'm in a car situation. And you said right away when you saw the car, we were laughing about it. You're like, listen, I'm good at schmoozing. Like, let's just go to Enterprise. Let's show up there. I'm going to make this happen. We're going to send you home. What's it going to take to send you home in a big-sized sedan?

We're going to send you home in a moderately priced Nissan Altima, and you'll be just fine. Now, I want to ask you, Andrew, if your experience – What's it called again? A Mitsubishi what? It's a Mitsubishi Mirage.

Can I tell you one more quick thing about that? So the first hotel I stay at.

We're going to call it the Mitsubishi Bad Decision. But they decided instead to go to something slightly more ephemeral, the Mirage.

I'm sorry to put this off more, but I think it'll pay off. My plan for the first night is to stay in Boise, but I didn't book a hotel in advance because I wasn't sure how far I'd be driving. And so I wanted to keep things flexible. I get to Boise. There's no room at the inn at all. I called, I think, literally 20 hotels. I couldn't. So then I'm like, OK, so I find this place called, I think, Mountain Home, Idaho, which is about 45 minutes southeast still on the way. And I just stayed in a little Best Western motel and I'm signing in and there's a young woman behind the counter and she's, you know, very, very friendly and helpful. And then she says, OK, last thing is just so we can register your car in the parking lot. What kind of car are you driving? And I'm like, she's like, can you just describe it? And I'm like, it's a Mitsubishi. And I'm like, it's kind of like a silvery gold color, I think. And I just said, I'm sorry. I don't know anything about cars. And as I say that a colleague of her is walking past her and just laugh barks. Just goes, bop! Just like straight up laughs at me as I'm trying to describe this Mitsubishi. So now I know it's a Mitsubishi. Mirage.

You know, one other thing, this is a little pro tip. On your keys There will be that little white tag Which will have your license plate number And your info Because that's the problem No one knows what the hell their rental car is

It doesn't say a silvery color

It says silvery gold And then on the back it says I'm not good with cars So I'm curious though If this was your experience You may have driven a Mitsubishi Mirage At this point Andrew Having driven it from Seattle to Denver That may be the furthest this car A car like this has ever gone In the history of its existence this is the this is the review from May actually this is pretty recent from May of this year the 2022 Mitsubishi Mirage has a cheap feeling and somewhat cramped interior as well as a weak engine and lethargic acceleration this vehicle does not have an overall score or ranking because it hasn't been fully crash tested or scored for reliability now I'll just say this we probably have listeners who are rocking the Mirage and loving it and hey you know when I was in all truthfulness when I was tooling around Denver earlier this morning it was perfectly serviceable

for that did you put it in um drive sport mode by the way that does give a little it was an eco

and i didn't know how to get it out of eco so i think eco was good that is the one thing i'll bet

you i did save a lot of money on gas no kidding you're welcome apm it's got a very small tank and uh i would stop like and fill up about half you know like i'd have to stop to use the restroom or get snacks anyway so i just keep filling it up and like half a tank is like um i think like 4.5 or five gallons or something like that and it took me a pretty far away so what i was gonna

say is like you know i don't want to sound like we're yucking anyone's yum if somebody out there is driving one of these and you just love it that's awesome i'm glad it's working for you thinking about you driving across two mountain ranges in some very unexpected snow was what had me nervous and this car is a very small car you're out there like you're sort of a small fish swimming around these huge semi trucks and like and just a typical suv in this day and age could pulverize that mirage that is the thing in a second i'm really glad you made it here because that was like a lot of a lot of freeway driving a lot of mountainous terrain in that really small car surrounded by really big cars i'm not even yeah just being patronizing or Thank you.

joking when i say i'm really glad you made it here yeah i would like you to i would like us to figure out a way to get you back in the car uh that's a little bit more um robust the pros there are and you've you've nailed it andrew you're a mirage man like your father the pros excellent fuel economy another pro large cargo hold in hatchback model uh another pro low base price these are all these are the wins now some of the l's the cons chintzy interior weak unrefined powertrain which is also how i've been described at times lackluster handling and cramped second row and small trunk in sedan which of course doesn't apply to you because there was nobody riding in the back so yes and also that refers to the sedan exactly so no so i mean i again i'm i'm glad you made it out here but i i'm i'm really committed

to us sending you back in and i also think the actual possibilities of that i mean i don't know if this is going to take it to boring time before we move on but like you and i were talking i believe i believe off air but how um strange the rental car market is right now all like almost everything right and the hotels are bizarre like booking hotels now um but i mean there is not a surplus of rental cars right now they sold a lot of their fleets during the pandemic like what do you think the chances are really of us just showing up in denver with a car we rented in seattle that They thought was in a local rental, right? Because I'm going to return it to the same place. Just showing up in Denver and saying, hey, we drove your poor man's Yaris out here.

Words that have never been uttered in that order.

You know, can you give me a better car to drive back to Seattle? They're probably going to be reluctant to do that, no?

Well, here's how we're going to start. We're going to call—this is Enterprise, right? Yes, it is. Do you know that Enterprise is the largest employer of college graduates in America?

No.

They have a very, very strong program of going to college job fairs and hiring folks who are about to graduate from college, which is why my experience with enterprise is it's always like a very courteous, kind of well-put-together, sort of can-do young person. And they have enterprises they're very proud of how they promote from within, and they have a whole management track. And a lot of people who have gone on to do other big things in business were at enterprise at some point. We're going to call, not the 800 number, we're going to call the Denver office that's near us. We're going to get a kid. His name's probably going to be Cameron. Okay. Now, this did go awry for me years ago when I was in an Uber outside of the Enterprise near where you used to live in Roosevelt. Yes, which didn't have any cars. And I thought I was calling the 800 number and I was complaining about how overwhelmed the kid was. And it was the kid in the portable building.

Did you say, sir, I can see you outside the window?

In the Uber. um but so we won't do that but first thing is i think we need to get we need to get somebody at the location and we need us to say look hey here's the deal we drove this car out from seattle to denver we didn't realize it's it's just a little bit too small for us and it doesn't feel really safe on the highway so we're gonna present it not as just like a aesthetic choice yeah it's like this isn't gonna be safe there is it's not defective but there's something about this experience it's not working for us i think that's how we frame it why i think we'll be able to do this is because we're not we're leaving them a car yeah that's enterprise motto take a car leave a car sure yes and interestingly enough the mirage you could put just put it in a jar at a register at a 7-eleven so like i think the fact that we're not trying to take a car out of circulation

we're like you know what i mean the number of trying to drive it home the number of cars remain

constant yeah it's like hey we have a car that is not going to work for us you have a car that would work better for us we want to swap you this is all in the enterprise family this is what makes me feel like this can happen now you're right though everything is very chaotic and you know we might we might hit a roadblock but um i think i feel pretty confident we'll be able to work it out again because you you're not just calling up to rent a car to drive it from denver to seattle if you were doing that that could be an issue because now denver has one less enterprise rental

car so now you did mention um because when i was renting this in seattle it really forced me to rent it from the airport because that's going to be their most robust operation uh and if that's the same case here did you mention that the airport is pretty far out from do not andrew i don't want

to go negative here on this the the day of our daughter's engagement oh did you know that wow so much to take in um that was a that was an attempt to somehow meld the world of tb telethon 13 and the world of the godfather together it was fairly unsuccessful but of course this is tb Cellathon 13, Let the Fun Begin, and we would love to get to keep doing this show for another year, so we'll be talking about that coming up, and it's a good reason that I don't want to go negative, but the Denver airport never ceases to amaze me with its non-functionality it is not only roughly 15 miles from the denver airport as i've mentioned before on twitter like the denver airport is 10 miles from the denver airport but it is so it's it is so far outside of the city and then when you get to the airport it is so massive i don't understand there must be i think they must have built it with a dream that denver will become the largest city in america or the large and i know there's probably from a geography standpoint they probably do get a lot of flights because it's sort of in the west but it's moving you know midwest and so it's probably central to some things but like i get off the plane and you have to walk so far and i like walking i've got this silly apple watch i've gamified like the whole thing of walking i like it you walk so far and then then you get to the train you're not even at the like you're not even at the where the baggage claim is then you get on a train somehow which i feel like your city needs to be over a certain size for there to be a train at your airport so then you go on the train and then you get off the train and then you walk into this caverns i mean it's sort of beautifully designed it's got this white kind of canopy it almost looks like the sydney opera house a little bit it's aesthetically very pleasing but it is functionally so bad so then i walk another i mean i'm not this sounds like an exaggeration i walk probably another half mile within the confines of this this part of the airport and i'm looking for the baggage claim and i had flown on delta which is not only my thing so there are these baggage carousels but they're so spread out of course i go to the wrong side and i walk up and down and i finally find a nice person who works for a different airline and i say do you know where delta is she goes yeah it's across the other way from where you came and then down this is another half mile i'm not exaggerating another half mile to walk from where the like say united baggage claim is to the carousel number one which is where delta dropped off its stuff my bags were the last two things thank god there was showed up

there was lonely circling that's such a scary feeling exactly because this mic i'm talking

into right now this was in one of my suitcases like had somebody nefarious come up and been like yeah, well, this will be fun. And apparently it is Burgess Meredith, I guess. It's the penguin. You know, like that would have been a really bad scene. Yeah, it's very retroactively nervous making when you get there and you see your bag, you're like, oh, I almost lost you. Sweetie. I'll never leave you again, my precious. So anyway, and then whatever, everybody gets it. From where that was to where I was getting the Uber, a massive another half mile walk, finally got there. And then they go, I look, and this is maybe, I can't tell if this is Uber's fault or the Denver airport's fault, but it says you're going to get picked up in zone one. So I'm like, well, where's zone one? Well, it's actually, Andrew, it's zone I, but they use the capital I. Like, start at a different letter, Denver. Start somewhere else so that you don't have a one slash I as part of the process.

Or just skip it. Nobody's going to be going through and being like, there's no I.

Where's the I? What happened to the eye? What happened to the Dufresne's? Just skip it. So I'm hoping we don't have to go to the Denver airport, Andrew, twice this week. Because I've already got to go back there to fly home on Saturday.

And not only that, but it's also a long drive from here to the airport. Am I right on that?

It's not close to here, but it's not as far as I have sometimes experienced it, depending on where you are in the city.

Let me ask you this, though. Over this whole sprawling airport, is there a large, anatomically correct, if not exaggerated, blue horse?

I did not see one.

You didn't? Okay. Because that's what I like in an airport. That's what you're looking for? That's what I'm looking for usually, just to have the steely gaze of Lucifer judging me from above.

Andrew, this is a little bit of a kind of a curveball, but you know that I was able to actually get in touch with the Enterprise people in Seattle and get audio of you picking your rental car? This is crazy. I mean, I don't know how I was able to do it. Okay, what do we think it should look like?

Too small. I'm sorry? Too small. So when you get in there, you are like, it's the steering wheel, fly off, and toast.

Okay, I don't know why we'd make it too small.

I think it's a good idea, and I'm a standby.

You probably love your mother-in-law.

Oh, my God. He unmuted.

Yeah, that is what it's like. I don't know, man. I'm just, I guess, like you said, like, I just have the soul of a Yaris. I don't know what to say. Is that a show title? I was thinking, like, as I'm kind of driving and as I'm starting the adventure, I'm sort of thinking, like, okay, I really made a mistake with this car. I mean, the second I closed the door, I'm like, well, I know what we're talking about on Monday. Because, I mean, I know that you're very well versed in this stuff, and I'm terribly versed in this stuff. and I'm like, whatever, it'll be funny.

Like, that's one nice thing about the predicaments we find ourselves in. It's just kind of like, well, it's something to, I mean, there is humor here, you know?

Yeah, that was my exact thought when I noticed something in the directions or the instructions from this Airbnb. And I saw it and I was like, I kind of cocked my head like the dog looking at the RCA Victrola. But then I thought, well, that'll be funny to get into. Before we do that, though, could we go ahead and thank some dazzling donors?

I think so. So would you like to say maestro to buy me? I would love that, maestro, if we could fire up our special song. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle.

Razzle dazzle. That's right, man, razzle dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle dazzle.

These, of course, are the incredibly wonderful, generous people who are dazzling us with their donation of dough each month. This is, you know, the week where we remind everyone as if, like, if you're watching us right now on YouTube, first of all, hi, hope you're having fun in the comments section. You're like, I feel like we don't need to over explain it. So I'm not sure who the target demo is for this. Maybe somebody who's hearing this as the podcast feed and maybe you've enjoyed the show and you thought, well, at some point I'll kick in a little bit of support to try to help them keep it going. And maybe that's the target demo for this, for this pitch, as it were. But we certainly appreciate the folks who have gotten us to this point. Yes. People like Teresa Fabella in St. Thomas Virgin Islands. Whoa. Now that sounds lovely. That sounds, Andrew, like it's not snowing there, like it was in Denver this weekend. I doubt it. Teresa says, good day, imaginary friendos. Just dazzling you back for your endless hours of dazzling me every weekday. Your loyal listener in the Virgin Islands. Nice. That is where we're doing next year's TB Telethon. Oh, yeah.

Perfect.

TB Telethon 14, Let the Sun Begin. Thank you, Teresa. Thank you. We really appreciate you and all your support and hope you're doing well out there in the Virgin. Is it as nice out there as it seems like it would be? I've never been to the Caribbean or the Bahamas. I've been to Hawaii, but like, I just wonder, is it really like a Jimmy Buffett song when you're living in those or does it just become kind of like, yeah, you have your normal life and it just happens to be there's a tropical breeze and a palm tree near you.

And also, do you start resenting the people there vacationing while you're just trying to do your work and you're just trying to live your life? You know what I mean? I know that's a weird thing to say, like living in a beautiful part of the world must be, well, beautiful, right? But when it stops being a vacation and starts getting real, that's when that that's when maybe you could start looking around and being like, don't you guys have a job? Like I'm working here. I work for Enterprise. Why are you people just basking out in the sun while I'm working?

Well, thank you so much, Teresa, for your support. We would not be here without you. Maestro.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle.

We also want to thank Sarah Woodruff. Pronunciation, the standard post-covenant Sarah. I am sure I made this joke last year as well.

I don't remember that joke. I have a terrible memory. But what would the pre-covenant Sarah sound like? I don't know. Sarah.

I guess. What is the covenant? Is that like a biblical? That's a biblical reference.

I figured that was a biblical reference, yeah.

Oh, maybe.

The promise that God made.

Right. Right, but would that have been, I mean, Sarah was, wasn't Sarah Abraham's wife? This Sarah?

I'm not sure. Oh, God. You're always trying to play matchmaker during these things.

Well, I'm looking out for listeners. Sarah's in Silver Spring, Maryland. Who was Sarah the wife of in the Bible?

Well, there were a lot of Sarah's, right?

I mean, a lot? I don't know, a few?

What is a lot?

Yeah, what's a lot in the context of the Bible? Anyway, this, Sarah, is the post-covenant pronunciation as in Silver Spring, Maryland. My donor message last year was written to thank Andrew Luke and the TBTL community for helping me deal with the death of my spouse from cancer in 2020. Here in 2022, I have a new partner in my life. Aw, Sarah, that's really great to hear. And I have been happy to explain why they are now an 11 with my aspiration being to make them a 10. Whoa to this new partner, Sarah. I am whoever they are. I am. I just want to say sorry about what you're being dragged into. The case for going down in number is a tricky one, but I am making it.

That would be, I guess, 11 to 10. Yeah. Like, why is that a good thing going from 11 to 10?

Right. Right. Sure. Grief and the pandemic are still complicated, but they continue to be eased by the awesomeness that is TBTL and its listener community. Andrew, about 100.

80 of whom are watching this on

We're up to 180, hello

Watching this on YouTube right now, this is very exciting

If we get up to 185, Luke will strip down To his tighty-whities and run around

I cannot believe I did that I mean, this was a different show Back then, and I'm not saying for the better I also had a different body, Andrew I'm just going to be really honest about that You also had a different

Blood alcohol level at that time, I believe Like in that actual moment

In that my blood was mostly alcohol i mean golly anyway um sarah continues okay now a few requests as we continue to drop pandemic restrictions interact with people from a place of kindness as no one is really okay again just yet get yourself to those doctor and dentist appointments you may have missed think about how you were spending your time and spending your money can some of it go tbtl's way if it doesn't already and finally continue to be terrific as the world is a better place with you in it those are lovely words Sarah and those are going out to everybody listening to this or watching us on YouTube this is a very important message to everyone watching this on my channel but really and you know what there's there's I think an important line in there from Sarah about donating

to tbtl i'd really like to emphasize one thing here is the word donate about uh as we continue

to drop pandemic restrictions interact with people from a place of kindness i will totally admit to the fact that like everyone i was i chafed under all of the all of the rules and regulations i followed them but i was just kind of like you know when when those rules were relaxed i was pretty quick to be like well if i don't have to wear a mask in places you know maybe i won't i'm following the rules the rules say i'm allowed to look this way and be this way and sometimes i'd see folks that were behaving differently and it might be like well you know i'd maybe even see somebody like in their car by themselves with their mask on and i would just think like what's going on for you and maybe it's the slight resurgence of things maybe it's the variance maybe it's just me maturing a little bit well one i'm back to wearing a mask when i'm on an airplane or in a you know closed space with people but i just am really trying to now think about it more like everybody is on this journey at their own pace some people are driving a mitsubishi mirage of reintegration and we just have to like you know try to try to just give everybody as much love and and sort of acceptance as we can yeah especially when you're finding

yourself in a situation where maybe you're getting poor customer service i'm not thinking of anything in particular here i'm really not but like just generally speaking like you'll find yourself in a place where you're waiting much longer for your food or for maybe a rental car although that was not my experience in fact they were too quick I made my mind too fast um but um and you're kind of like you might be irritated because you have like a 2019 mentality of I'm paying good money here and I want good service and you've got to realize like this is somebody who's probably working too much who's um who they've cut like half the staff of this person is probably doing twice as much as what they used to do. And just anybody in a situation like that, like as much grace as we can cut people.

Anybody who's showing up for any job, and that includes podcasting, should be lauded as a hero. Always be selling. Hey, Andrew. Or closing, I guess. It's TBTL-a-thon 13. Let the fun begin. Let the fun begin. We've also got lots of cool thank you gifts for people who are either allowing their donation to continue, or maybe if their finances allow for it, upping their donation or maybe just donating for the first time uh do you want to run through a few

of those things yeah well one let's start with the pants that are right next to you people are

very excited about these i've never felt more like a qvc host than right now andrew i got a sword i'm going to show you hodell don't you do it uh these are i'm holding these up now again this is if you're listening to the podcast version of this it's not super useful but i'm for the people watching on youtube uh andrew i was pleasantly surprised at how great these tonight pants are

they're so for those who can't see they're like they're kind of like i guess you would call maybe kind of like pajama bottom pants but they're very comfortable they're very well crafted i was you

know you know you never know i was thinking i wonder what the flimsiness factor is going to be these are not if you were to go to a baseball game and they were to be giving you you know Some kind of piece of clothing Let's just say pants Or like Mariner's sweats Or something They would be made of such A kind of thin quality That you could never really wear them If you wore them once They would fall apart

You'd wear them at the game You'd put them on over your pants And then walk away

It'd be like a fun thing You'd dance to Macklemore And you'd hope you'd get on The Diamond Vision But these are We won't stop These are These are not that These are really comfortable They're actually I think very cute as well Very attractive They've got pockets

They the Pockets are a big seller, and this is a small thing, but the tag is so cute.

The tag says, too beautiful to live.

nobody can see this from how far away we have the camera set up but that was last night when i got in andrew and i got my hands on these bad boys that was the first thing that i noticed is the tag

says too beautiful live in our font yes that's right in the official tbtl and that's apm font

that is a huge huge credit to our colleague john and emily yes for for um sweating the details on this so these things are awesome yes at the tonight pants we've got we have a bumper sticker

It says TBTL Hit Radio 10 in kind of a classic font that you helped design.

And the thing that's fun about that bumper sticker is it will let other 10s know who you are, but it won't make you look like a complete oddball out in the world. If people don't know what it means. Yeah, they'll just think it's just like a radio station, you know?

That is 10. Right. What's your favorite station? 10?

Well, I don't mean... All right, maybe I didn't think it all the way through.

No, it's a cute sticker. Actually, the funny thing is it's like it's a sticker, you know? it's a token of our of our gratitude but it's not but like so many people are excited about it

luke i want this sticker andrew much like the kicksy sticker that you have in your window at your uh studio now in seattle in sweet cream district i want this tbtl bumper sticker to become a patina in someone's life in someone's children's life i want it stuck to a filing cabinet that is in somebody's work bench area for like the next 50 years to where it you don't even register it it was like that was on my dad's like my dad had it stuck to this thing this pegboard

that he would put his wrenches on i was gonna say what about the move of not even using it as a sticker because you don't want to quite commit so like you take it and you just pin it to your

cork board as long as it stays there for 40 years i love that kind of stuff like i just and i you You know, I could tell you random things that were in my life growing up that were like that. I really think that this bumper sticker has a chance to become that kind of weird ephemera in someone's life where it's like, I don't know, my dad was into this podcast. The funny part is I think that in 40 years, podcasting will be as antiquated as like my dad was into, you know, radio dramas.

What's a podcast? Well, it's like a YouTube without the visuals. It's hard. Why would anybody be interested in that? And let's see. What else do we have going on?

We've got the Too Beautiful to Lib. with the Mad Libs. Speaking of things I'm not pulling my weight on. Where are you on that, by the way? I wrote 12 of them. I have

written eight of these things so far, so these are handcrafted by

your... By his hands.

And eventually yours, or I'm happy to finish them off, too. So, most people remember Mad Libs. This is like Mad Libs, only we're calling it Too Beautiful to Lib, which is a name that our colleague John came up with. By the way, I just want to give a quick shout-out. John will be joining us here in Denver, I think starting maybe Wednesday For Wednesday's show So he can help explain some of this stuff too But yeah So I'm really excited about that And I think everybody knows how to play Mad Libs All the stories are kind of cut from TBTL cloth Adventures we've gotten on, retellings of Stories that we've told on the show

Yeah exactly, so it's very, you know, if you like TBTL These will be very fun Mad Libs to do And there's going to be A digital version so you can play it over and over again There's also going to be a paper version And that's the thing that's really fun It just very much takes me back to my childhood. We've also got the riff track or the audio commentary of the movie The Princess Bride that Andrew and Vives and I did. That's if you donate any amount at all. We'll send you the link for that, and that can be really fun. And then if you, you know, just you can check out the levels at tbtl.net to see, you know, what thank you gift corresponds with what amount of money. But anything that you can do to donate or if you're donating to, like, let it keep going. Or, you know, if again, if you're in a position to maybe donate a little more, that would be amazing.

And let me just say, so if you're somebody who's given before or maybe receives the TBTL newsletter, check your inbox. And you should have been receiving emails maybe already letting you know some details about the TBTL-a-thon and how you can give given your particular situation. If you just want to kind of like continue to give at the level you've been giving at, you can do that. But you still have to like kind of claim your prizes. So look for your email for that. Or maybe you want to put a little extra sugar on it and get some extra prizes and whatnot. So anyway, keep an eye out for your emails. And if you don't get an email, go to tbtl.net, and you should see a big button there that will help you out. Thank you so much to everybody who's keeping us in business. Yeah, we really appreciate you. Hold on. Oh, you've got to turn on the thing.

Yeah.

And I'm going to turn on the phones. I'm going to turn on the phones for now. Love it. Ahoy, ahoy. Okay, so as calls come in, we might put you on hold for a while, even when you ring in. So please just be patient with us.

The phone number again, 206-414-TBTL, if you want to call in and chat with us. The phone lines are now open. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. Our Top Story here, though, Andrew, the question is, is the owner of this Airbnb... not so secretly a scientologist or does he have a weird sense of humor or both uh when i uh was corresponding with him and i think actually this might have even just been a sort of auto generated you know because it felt more kind of boilerplate it was sending this long list of instructions we are in kind of a converted almost like maybe this was a mechanics garage or something it was definitely some industrial type of use and then somebody converted it into a loft and it's actually very cool i'm like very pleased with uh with everything about this place it's clean it's comfortable i think it's going to work great for what we're doing yeah the whole

part of town we're in was clearly like a warehouse district at some point i think it's okay to say that we're what is called the rhino part of town the um river north arts district it's river in name only it's river is the river dried up it's going to be called the mirage arts district soon And I believe so anyway, it's like one of those cool areas of town where you can tell like it's been a lot. It's a lot of converted buildings around here. They've been turned into either lofts or breweries or art spaces.

There's a lot of really cool stuff. So I'm very pleased with how everything has turned out. But when I got this one kind of long list of like how to play the video game console and how to run the there's a kind of a what would you call it like a home theater projection thing. And there's a lot of stuff that's just like kind of from a tech standpoint, way over my head, how to log into things. And one of the things was how to play music. If we wanted to play music on the speakers in here, we could do it through Bluetooth. But we had to be on a certain Wi-Fi. Well, first we had to choose in Spotify a certain thing that was called like, I don't have the message. Boom shakalaka. We had to choose something called.

You have to use user boom shakalaka.

We had to log in as user boom shakalaka. And we had to make sure we were on the Wi-Fi router known as church underscore of underscore Scientology, all caps, church of Scientology, all caps. And so you tweeted this out and you're just like, this is bizarre. I said real plot twist at the Airbnb. You know, you just I mean, I don't know why it should matter. I mean, let me just say this about Scientology as an idea. It strikes me as pretty crazy Or at least it strikes me as something That is based on a lot of made up fantasy But I would also personally say That there are a lot of other religions That are also based on a lot of Now I'm not trying to go Leah Remini on it here Or like litigate Scientology versus other religions It doesn't strike me as something That is overall very positive For a lot of the people that are involved with it That's what I've heard and read about the whole thing

And I don't want to You know I don't know if this person is still a listener But we've talked about Scientology in the past I'm talking about years ago And somebody wrote in and just kind of said, hey, listen, I'm a Scientologist. This is, you know, it was somebody who just wanted to kind of dialogue about it a little bit, if I can use that word, which I really shouldn't. I don't like that as a verb. But anyway, my point is it was a nice note. It wasn't combative and just saying, hey, you know, I don't love it when you kind of slag on my religion. But it's like I don't know where to draw the line on these things. It's pretty well documented that there's a lot of abuse that happens. And like, I don't need to focus on that today on the show, but like, and listen, there's also well-documented abuse and other major religions.

Literally today, the news was Southern Baptist Association covering up and doing heinous things on morning edition today.

So it's knowledge that too. But also, I also don't want to totally like kind of say, Hey, all religion is okay. Like I also care about people and don't want them to be stuck into something that could harm them, which there's a lot of documentation that is a harmful organization.

So it's complicated because I will say this, when I saw that, that that was the name of the Wi-Fi router, I thought, huh, I had a slightly different feeling about where we were going and staying. And I, you know, would I, if it said, you know, if the Wi-Fi was Holy Rosary, would I, you know, have had that same thought? I don't know. I mean, Scientology is, because it's new, because I think Sarah Silverman might have made this joke, because it was founded by a guy named Ron. Like, it's hard to get into a religion that the founder's name is Ron. Right, right, right. It's very new. Anyway, I just – but you think that this is maybe an attempt at humor. Now, the other thing I should mention is that's not even the Wi-Fi here.

That's the weird thing. Did he change the name? I'm guessing that he changed the name of it. So here's my theory.

You think he was getting bad reviews on Airbnb?

You and I were texting about this a little bit, and this is like last week. And I was like, I don't – I just had a weird suspicion that it was – listen, that's like if you went into my dad's house and used the Wi-Fi. It was called the Catholic Church. It doesn't make sense to me just because you're a Scientologist that you would name your Wi-Fi after your religion or cult or whatever you want to call it. On the other hand, I don't know a lot about the behavior of folks who are in that religion. So it seemed like a joke to me, and based on some of the other things we're seeing.

around here there are a lot of what i would say kind of i think generously like kind of attempts at humor attempts at laying down very strict boundaries and guidelines for the people who stay here because this is a place where apparently the people who rent it out also use this as their own living space when they're in town or something and so there's you know they want to preserve certain things it's not just a rental property or a short-term rental property and like the thing if you named your Spotify boom shakalaka but you have to be logged into Church of Scientology to me that was somebody goofing a little bit but I could be wrong

I mean I being here now and reading some of the other directions and things of which there are many I'm starting to think you're right that it was a joke but I also think it got changed because somebody probably was like what you know what's the deal with that like it was a joke that didn't land or maybe somebody mentioned it in an Airbnb review because that is it's still in the literature yeah i'm holding this you know most people have probably stayed at some kind of a verbo or airbnb situation there's usually some kind of you know binder that's got like laminated or whatever pages in it this is the thing this is a a nice space to live in and the i have to say all my interactions with the owner have been really positive he's been very responsive everything is great but i do think that probably he has not emotionally created enough separation for himself between this being where he and his family live or he and his partner live and then the fact that complete strangers are also coming and staying here at times because it doesn't read like that in the directions there are these little framed things everywhere like you walk into the place and there is a framed i mean it's again it's it's an attempt to be i think kind of cute about something that's an obvious concern for them or him which is so you walk in and there is like a little tiny framed picture and it just says how about that rug then in bolded please remove your shoes oh i didn't see that that's at the doorway really you come into the area we're doing the broadcast there's another framed everybody could see this if you're watching on youtube there's another framed this was on the coffee table that's here in the living room where we're set up like our wood so do we all bold please use coasters yeah now again i would use a coaster because i'm an adult human and i have no desire

to mess somebody's space up but but you would like that better if it just said please use coasters

right yes i would and this is an attempt to this is an attempt to kind of mitigate it a little bit and not seem like you're being so right kind of telling people what to do so i give them credit it for trying but just the the energy of this kind of feels like somebody who's not really ready to sort of relinquish this place to people so uh what not to do this is in the the the directions in the folder binder which when i got up this morning and you stayed up a little bit later than i did you had this place this on a table this just opened to this page with a post-it note that

had an arrow that said content question mark because i already knew that these little signs Around the house weren't landing with you really well Like just tonally again not the idea Of using a coaster like whatever that's fine I didn't know about the shoes off thing but Pound sand like Is that in the listing I don't think so if that's not in the listing Then sorry they don't want you to wear but it's weird

Because the whole place is hardwood floors there's a Rug a runner when you come in I guess they want You to take your shoes off while you walk on that rug And then I can't imagine You wouldn't be allowed to wear your shoes on the hardwood Yeah and also that's I just think that's That's one of those things that's too much of an ask When people are paying money To rent a place That's the thing

Like if you were to go To a Best Western As I did the other night It's not like Hey don't wear your shoes In the Best Western Anyway

Well let me just jump Right to Because there's a lot Of these what not to do But let me just jump Right to the critical one I think Don't use Like five towels a day Because YOLO And then parenthetically This is not a hotel

And also that's just I had to read that Three times to figure out I thought he was saying Don't use it Because you only live once I'm like well yeah you only live once you use all the towels you want then i was like he doesn't want you to do

that because he's saying this is not a hotel now here's the thing it is a hotel yes we're renting it we're paying money if it wasn't a hotel this would be free yeah when it becomes a hotel is when someone gives you money so they can stay in a place overnight and sleep yeah and go to the bathroom there that makes it in effect a hotel so if you would like to have this be free then We will not YOLO the towels Also I'm going to use a square too Abso-fucking-alutely Do not smoke cigarettes Or marijuana inside Also don't smoke in the garage either Do not touch the bikes in the garage They are not for guest use In fact, just don't go in the garage Don't play loud music after 10pm On weekdays and midnights Please don't drink our booze or eat our food

You walk in, there's a whole bar

It's a secure cabinet. It's not even a cabinet. And it looks very inviting. And again, I wouldn't, by the way.

Of course we wouldn't I wouldn't But it's weird to rent a place And then you walk in And you're like Oh here's this whole Booze counter thing And then it's like And again I had no intention Of touching that Of course But it's weird to say Don't drink our booze It's like you're renting This place out Then put your booze away Like I think that they are Stuck in the middle Kind of a middle place here

They're stuck in the middle With us Andrew Stuck in the middle With us Yeah like And also don't eat our food Well okay But like What's going on With the refrigerator Are we sharing that with you I mean there's not much In the refrigerator

Also why is the refrigerator like um so why is it a club you open up the refrigerator you can find me in it and it's just like it's pulsating flashing strobe light oddest thing ever there's some kind of short in whatever

wiring goes to where the light bulbs are all of that is to say this place is going to be great i am so excited for this week of shows here's what the plan is so uh obviously every day this week we are going to be doing the show live on youtube so if you're having fun chatting with the tens on the youtube feed uh this is gonna be happening every morning we're gonna be taking calls in fact maybe we should take a call here you want to hear from max in brooklyn oh try to

stop me hey max welcome to the show hey friendos i think this is this is twice in a row because i believe i was your first call two years ago well this is going to be a tradition then a lot of pressure on you for next year um uh first off i just wanted to bring something up that's going on in the chat on youtube okay um which i don't know if there's anything that can be done but there's a little bit of shaky cam happening somehow i don't know if there's like auto stabilization or something but just wanted to alert you to that that's funny when i was setting

it up i thought i saw some quivering but i couldn't tell what was going on um we thought

I thought that was just our nerves.

Like I said, I hadn't touched the booze yet.

We're looking at, well, that's the problem, Andrew. Exactly. Maybe touch a little bit of it. Yeah, it is weird looking, isn't it? Just to kind of take care of that. That's interesting, yeah, because we're just looking at this, at Andrew's cell phone that's on a tripod that's pointed at us. But, I mean, is it possible that us just breathing is moving the floor of this board?

No, I think there's something going on with it, because I put it in a boat.

Do you want to try to fix it, Andrew, while I talk to Max?

No, I think it's a technical thing. I don't think it's a physical thing, so we can maybe look at it for tomorrow.

Everybody just close your eyes and listen to our beautiful voices.

It's not – I mean, it's not – Max, I appreciate you bringing it up. But in the grand scheme of things, the fact that we are – what, are we an hour? You're surrounded by clocks. What, are we an hour into this show?

I didn't turn any of the clocks on.

We're an hour and one minute into this show, and we are still streaming live. We're recording. We're broadcasting. We're taking phone calls. The fact that any of this works – It's all spectacular. Even I can't get it. And I'm not trying to pat myself on the back. I'm just saying that even I can't believe that I'm not worried about a tiny little bit of tremor. in the camera in the grand scheme of things. But we'll shoot to be better tomorrow if you donate, Max.

Yes, that's it. For every donation, the camera will stabilize ever so slightly. So what else is up, Max? What do you want to talk about?

I wanted to talk, actually, take a little pivot into Dishwasher Town, if you don't mind. Oh, sure.

That's where I live. Andrew's the number one dishwasher repairman in the Sweet Cream District.

this is this is the expertise i'm looking for um so my 11 and i i think are we are renters living in brooklyn um i think we're sort of similar renters to to andrew and genevieve in that like if there's something that we can fix we just fix it um and our dishwasher lately has not been fully cleaning the things on the top rack and so now i'm like all right do i go down the rabbit hole and like try to clear lines and do all that stuff which i have never done before ever in any way with a dishwasher or is this the kind of thing that i really should contact our

very sweet landlord about and say hey could you send someone to service this i would i mean you're a renter i would say for a dishwasher like this just ask your landlord to step in but if you are looking to do any diy stuff i don't know if you know this i'm sorry i'm just gonna go straight into advice talk here luke and it's not good advice either which really makes it something but um max do you happen to know how many of those spinny things are in your dishwasher like um the little bars that go across the maybe the top bottom and middle uh i can go take no no don't don't bother but like the we had a new dishwasher at our uh at our rental unit that we were in and that one that was good it had like three of those jet systems that would spin around and wash everything really well. Where we live now, we have a really cheap old dishwasher, and there's just got one at the very bottom of the dishwasher, so it doesn't do as good.

Yeah, we've got one bottom and one top.

Okay, so you do have a top. You might want to see that top spinner thing might pop off easily. Double check before you just start yanking on it, which is my advice to all my 45-year-olds. Yeah, tell you what.

and pop it off and you could maybe soak it in some, you know, like a mixture of like water and baking soda potentially or vinegar and baking soda and let that bubbly action, see if it can like kind of sort anything out. But honestly, it's probably not worth it. And you don't want to break it. Then it is your problem.

Do you get the sense, Max, that you're, you said you're a very sweet landlord. Are they the kind of person who is sort of keeping a running total of times when they're, you know, our services brought out to the house and it might drive your rent up is that part of why you and your and your 11 are kind of like just handling it yourselves

no no he's he's not i don't think he's keeping a tally we we just are handy people she's a stage manager and i like fixing things so you know it's it's the kind of thing where we're just like you know we had a a toilet handle break and he was like i can send one of my guys miles on that thing can we can we just buy i cannot believe he just told that joke you know knock whatever it is off rent this month and he was like sure wow i think we'll be fine that's a good uh that's a good

relationship to have how long have you been living in this place uh we moved actually in february of 2020 so just over two years now nice yeah in new york of all places like the landlord

tenant relationship is is pretty make or break tricky luke can you you were recalling something to me yesterday about somebody who lives in an apartment in new york based on a tweet they sent out this is a public figure do you remember what i'm talking oh yeah can you share that here because

it was a public tweet right yeah yeah no i thought it was funny it was well so what happened is andrew and i were talking about the hvac in this place that we're broadcasting from this week because it's pretty effective but it's also pretty loud because it's industrial so we're trying to figure out how to turn it on or off and then Andrew you made a joke about your bag of peas yes which you used to use in an apartment building to trick the thermostat into thinking that it was

a certain temperature and it was one thermostat that would affect a bunch of different units and it happened to be in my apartment but it was locked behind a little cage so nobody could essentially adjust it but if I baked something it would get really hot in my apartment and then everybody else's temperature would go way down right wow so this was actually you trying to look

out for the residents of the apartment building no i wish what so what would happen is so to use

that example of if my apartment got too hot because i was baking something then the thermostat would say oh it's warm enough in here i don't need to pump out heat and my neighbors it would be cold in their apartment um contrarily sometimes i would just be cold in my apartment but i couldn't get access to this thing to adjust this was your way of turning the heat up so i had a bag of frozen peas that eventually just sort of formed the shape of the top of the thermostat and i would take them out of the freezer, and I'd put them on top of the thermostat, and it would trick the thermostat into thinking it was cold in my apartment, which would kick the heat up for me and for everybody.

So the tweet was from my pal Mo Rocca, who is a radio personality and television, probably more known as a television personality than radio, but he was tweeting out something to his neighbors in his building. I don't know if you can relate to this, Max, what the setup is in your place in Brooklyn, but he was just basically saying, please, everyone, stop turning the heat on, Because basically he's on one of those Radiator systems that like You just don't have a lot of autonomy As far as your personal apartment Goes what everybody does kind of drives The whole thing and I was like I mean I'm sure Mo lives in a quite lovely home I haven't been there but I was like it was humanizing To see that even the great Mo Rocca Yeah it's just dealing with it that's New York City that's what my point is New York City is humbling You doesn't matter if you're Mo Rocca You still have to sweat it out in your apartment Because that's just how the Buildings are constructed

Yeah, thankfully we're not in a situation like that now But I have definitely been in that apartment And if he's on the top floor, yeah, you're screwed

Are you all in a walk-up or you guys have like a

We are, we're on the top floor of a townhouse

So that's how many flights of stairs?

It's three flights up and we're actually a duplex We've got the top two floors Oh, that's a nice setup

Things should be going pretty well in Max's world

It's not too bad

Which is exactly why we look forward to you Continuing to support TBTL That was terrible

Always be closing Always be closing

Well Max thanks for the call man Is there anything else you wanted to ask us about Or bring up

Such a delight to chat with you guys

And I look forward to seeing you at game night On the East Coast tonight

Alright thanks Oh yeah good reminder Thanks Max we'll see you there tonight Something a little funky happened with Max's line there I don't know if that was us

Yeah I'm not sure either For a second, I heard it on your voice, too, but it seems to have gone away, so I think we're okay.

I think Max said that we're a delight, which I agree with, and also that he will be checking in tonight for TBTL game night.

That's right, which if you haven't signed up, go to tbtl.net and just click on the button that says join us in the middle of the page. And this is something that might actually, you know, somebody might be listening to the podcast. Maybe someone's a little bit more of a casual listener, and so they haven't heard the news. But this whole week, at least Monday through Thursday, we are going to be playing games with you, the tens of listeners, by way of this kind of Zoom sign-up thing. And it's broken down by time zone. So tonight is the East Coast. And you can sign up for this. You go to tbtl.net, and then there's a button that says Join Us. That'll get you to, like, everything related to this week and what we're doing. and we're going to just hang out and it's like you said last week Andrew if you want to participate and play you can if you want to just like hang back and just watch you can do that too but tonight's East Coast tomorrow would be what Central Central time

zone Mountain on Wednesday and then on Thursday we'll be meeting up with everybody on the West Coast and so you go to you do have to sign up for

what's the rule on international oh and then if you're

if you're international listener get in where you fit in just get in what for whatever works for your schedule because we realize it could be the middle of the night for you. So just choose whatever works best. Yeah. I have something astounding. We have a call coming in here, Luke. And you know, some of these have caller ID associated with them. This call is apparently coming from the Society of Conscientious Service. No, the Society of Conscious Services.

Wow. Can you please answer that? Let's find out who's calling in from that organization. Ahoy, ahoy. Hello. Welcome to TBTL.

wow that might have been uh we might have spooked that person i had them on hold for a while but

also i'll tell you what if they are conscientious that would be a reason to not get involved with this whole tbtl situation maybe they're maybe they thought better of it whoever that was i

think maybe i did out them in a way they didn't want to be outed like they might have their home business or something associated with that and maybe they because they were on hold for a while

and then they hung up sorry if we scared you off call back under get a burner phone and call us It's back, 206-414-TBTL.

Yeah, if you call again, and I see that come up, I will not identify you in that way. Nobody will know that it's you. Don't worry about it.

Did you want to play a voicemail here, Andrew? Yeah, sure.

I got some voicemails I can play for you.

I'll even give you a little bit of this.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

You know, though, I do have some voicemails we can play, but another caller just called in. Let's just do this, because we don't get to do this very often, and it's fun. So I don't know who this is, and I'm scared to say it, even if I did know.

Hi there. Welcome to TBTL. Hi. Hi. Who's this?

Hi. My name is Sydney.

Hi, Sydney. Where are you calling from?

I'm actually calling from not too far away from you guys in Estes Park, Colorado.

Oh, heck yeah. I heard Estes Park getting a shout-out today on the public radio station that I was listening to, the one out of Greeley.

Awesome. Yes, Estes Park is cool.

Yeah, isn't that a big mountain biking town? It's very outdoorsy, right?

Yeah, it's one of the gateways to Rocky Mountain National Park, so it's a classic touristy mountain town.

How do they feel about Mitsubishi's there?

Mitsubishi Mirage. Is that the official car of Estes Park?

You know, I Googled that car because I didn't know. I'd never heard of it. I'm watching on YouTube and I Googled it. I've literally never seen one before. So sadly, it's not. Maybe it's the, you know, maybe it's the car of a different town, but not at this park.

It's not the car of the Mountain West. That's interesting. There's some false advertising there, then I guess I would say. How far out are you from Denver?

You know, with no traffic, it's about an hour and 20 minutes, hour and a half.

Okay. Are you coming in for the TBTL in-person trivia night this Friday at Local 46?

Oh, my God. Absolutely. Yay! So I don't live in Estes Park. I used to live in Colorado, but I'm actually in school in Ann Arbor, Michigan. And I'm on a road trip to actually go to Portland for my summer job this summer. But I'm stopping in Estes Park because my boyfriend lives here. And I almost crapped my pants when I saw that you guys were having your show in Texas. So that just, like, came together? Yes, I truly, I'm, like, so freaking excited, and I'm bringing my 11. It's going to be great.

That's awesome. Did you say what your summer job is that you're heading to Portland for?

Is it hosting Livewire? Because I'm happy I'm ready to turn the reins over.

No, absolutely not. I'm so not qualified to do that. I don't know.

You're doing pretty well on this call. Yeah.

um i'm i'm in law school and so i'll be working at an environmental um organization out in portland um wow for the summer so yeah so are you at the are you at the university of michigan law

school yeah well well well sydney that is a prestigious school congratulations

Thank you so much. I pinch myself every day. Well, you earned it, so don't pinch yourself too hard.

Now, I have a question. You lived in Estes Park for a while, so are you from Colorado originally? Did you grow up here?

No, I actually, I'm from Indiana, but I lived in Colorado for like six years before going back to the Midwest for school.

Andrew and I have been Andrew put a tweet out last week Trying to figure out how to pack for this climate That we're apparently in I believe it was 88 one day And then it snowed And somebody, Sally, posted on the Stens page Where, by the way, I am now hanging out

You created a new account for your account?

I created a new account called Lukals Magookals You're going to keep on creating I know, because it won't ever let me log back in Because I deleted it at the end of the TV telephone week I create one, I go on, I put little jogging pictures And talk to people and i have to admit i get the kind of dopamine like the fun of facebook that little it's very fun to do this once a year and cruise around and see all the fun stuff people are posting um i think you there'd be diminishing returns for me but this is what i wanted to ask you about

anything about voting machines that you've seen yet i haven't been visiting i've been visiting

my uncle mike's page so i haven't but but listener sally posted said to help with packing the 12 seasons of colorado and sydney i want to know if this squares with your experience so the The first season is winter, and then the second season is Fool's Spring. Then the third season is Second Winter, and then the fourth season is Spring of Deception. And then the fifth season is Third Winter, and then the sixth season is Road Construction. Then at seven, you get Actual Spring. Eight is Summer. Nine is Fire. Ten, False Fall. Eleven, Second Summer. And then twelve, Actual Fall. Is that basically the twelve seasons of Colorado?

incredibly accurate yeah yeah sally sally nailed it i mean just to so i got into town on thursday evening and it was like mild 70s um you know pretty pretty nice and estes and then the next day we got like eight inches of snow jeez louise you know ideal weather for a mitsubishi mirage yeah i know so i'm really really hoping for um for andrew's sake that it It does not, I mean, for both of your sakes, but the snow.

More.

Zan's the one doing the driving.

The forecast looks pretty promising. I did not have to drive through snow to get here, but it was astounding. I tweeted this out. Like you said, Luke, I was packing my bags on Thursday, the day before I was leaving, and I was like, oh, what kind of jacket should I take? Should I take my light jacket or my heavier jacket? And I looked up the weather forecast, and it said currently 88 degrees. Tomorrow, 40 degrees and snowing. And I was like, I don't know what to do with this. I think my phone is broken.

Now, Sydney, have you been to Portland before? Have you lived in Portland?

I've never lived in Portland. I have visited, though. But I'm so open to tips and recommendations.

Unfortunately, my tips tend to skew towards basically dimly lit bars where I think that the lotto machines are loose. Which brings me to the next thing I was going to say. If you see me in the wild in Portland and you know this as a as a person who is, you know, soon to be a lawyer, you are legally required to identify yourself so that I don't so that I know to get my ass together.

OK, I I will not be shy. Thank you. My big girl pants and say hi.

Good. Good. Anything else that you that you wanted to chat about? Questions, comments, feedback, thoughts on Scientology or Wi-Fi passwords?

your your airbnb situation sounds like a hoot but that's you already covered that

yeah it'll be interesting we had to make a decision too i can't imagine that it'll get back to the person who owns this place and again they've been very responsive and nice so our overall experience has been good our overall experience bears no resemblance to the folder yelling at us for being here but we i was like adria both were like are we going to talk about this on the show and i was like yeah we got to talk about it on the show so if you know the owner everybody be cool please don't ruin this for us yeah and again i think that the people who are

the person who's renting this out is is probably a very nice conscientious person i think like again just trying to create some boundaries but then trying to mitigate that with some humor and it's just kind of creating a bit of a slurry that doesn't land well on guys like me and luke yeah

no we're a little sensitive so yeah well no that that makes sense well thanks for taking my call thanks for calling in words except for thank you for being great what kind of law what kind of law

are you considering practicing i know you're going to this sounds like you're interning with an

environmental organization yeah yeah i want to do um environmental litigation i think so um like public interest side well that's great you want to sue all the tree huggers yeah i'm with you fight

the good fight sydney um would you yeah trying to fight

Well, I guess my request to you would be when you get to the part about like defending podcasts, which I assume is part of the curriculum now in every major law school in America, just pay extra attention there because we may need you. You know, we've got a team of Danny's going right now, but we can always use somebody else who's steeped in the kind of legal theory around podcasting and fighting, getting into disputes with your Airbnb landlord. So if we could put you on retainer as one of our many pro bono legal minds, that would be really helpful. And consider changing your name to Danny as well. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of part of the deal.

Yeah, I would need to do that. And I legally can't give you any advice right now, but I'll table that for the future.

Okay, thank you.

Honored to be considered a Danny.

All right, we'll see you on Friday night, okay?

Okay, bye, you guys.

Bye. Bye, future Danny. All right, Luke, what do you think? I think we should wrap this bad boy up today. I think that this has been a very, uh, fun, successful maiden voyage of, uh, TBTL-a-thon 13, uh, let the fun begin. We're going to let the fun continue tomorrow. Uh, again, I'm, I'm, I'm sort of, I'm, I'm debating between going too hard on the sales pitch and not going hard enough, but I'll just remind everyone, uh, what I've already been saying a bunch this episode, which is if you like the show and if you've been donating, thank you so much. We really appreciate it. We wouldn't be here without that. Again, most of the people who are chatting away on YouTube and watching this happen in real time, you're probably aware how this whole thing works. But if you are new to the system and you want to help us keep it going, that would be really great. You can go to tbtl.net. It's very easy. It's tax-deductible. This is not a for-profit, I'll tell you what. Emphasis on the not. So it's tax-deductible. It all goes to APM, and then they send a little bit of it back to me and Andrew so we get to do this for our job. But mostly it's just a fun thing to get to be a part of this community. So we hope this week goes well so that we can kind of keep it going. And also, again, last reminder, if you are on the East Coast and you want to hang out with us tonight on Zoom and play a game, that starts at 7 o'clock East Coast, and you can sign up for that as well at tbtl.net, because we have to send you an invite because it's Zoom. Yeah, exactly. All right. Thank you for listening and watching. Andrew, thank you for setting this up so well, dude. This is the least, and I know that I'm jinxing the fluff out of this, this is this is this feels other than maybe some shaky cam yeah this has been the most uh i feel like this is a auspicious start to this it's not bad thank you everybody for for joining we had almost 200 people watching at one point that's great heck yeah heck yeah all right we'll see y'all tomorrow or some of you will see it tonight on zoom but for the rest of you the podcast listeners see you tomorrow with more imaginary radio until then have a great monday take care of yourselves uh help us keep this whole thing going and please remember no mountain too tall And good luck to all.

The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money. Power out.