Muse

The more brilliant people we can get working here, then the faster we can get whatever is in your head out into the world. Let me tell you a story. In 1999, Google was a little startup just like we are. And when they started bringing in chefs and masseuses, we thought they're nuts, but they were attracting the best possible people and they were able to create the best product. and now they're worth over 400 billion dollars and do you know the name of that company

uh google right you said it at the beginning of the story you're right i did that wrong

hello did you say hello no i said hello but that's close enough well i was just driving

uh down uh northern avenue getting ready to pull into albertson's and uh all of a sudden i was just minding my own business bam hit me hard right from the back i was good in my seat i was like

this house is obviously infested with reticularities mario cuomo's what's that what's

what you're gonna take it i see you can't even say it yourself i'm doing the work i'm baby stepping i'm not a slacker i don't watch television i don't even own a television Notice I didn't say TV. TV is a nickname, and nicknames are for friends, and television is no friend of mine.

And all you new listeners, all I can really say is good luck.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Two bros, broin' it up!

My name is Luke Burbank, I'm your host. Are you sure? That's what they said on Ask Jeeves. Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where is today June 13th? Well, of course, we're entering another week of rain because, you know, you know, you like to get wet. That's the sound. It's not I'm not trying to do an impression, but what I realized I was just unintentionally channeling is Chevy Chase. So I think we just heard some audio from Chevy Chase as when he actually finally gets what he thinks is going to be his Christmas bonus. and Christmas Vacation, but it is in fact a membership to the Jams and Jellies of the Month Club. And he kind of just makes that sound. That's the sound. That's who I'm channeling when I realize and I hear that we're looking at another week of rain here in the Pacific Northwest. That's all right, though. It's warm and dry inside the studio where we have arrived at episode 3703 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

It's warm and dry, but it is not calm because of... I don't know if I've mentioned to all of you at any point on the show, but I, in fact, have a Bengal kitten.

Look at this cat. Terrific stuff by the cat.

Who lives in this house with me. And, well, it's taken on consciousness. It's learning. I'm learning. She's figured out geometry. And is it Jaws? Is that the movie where they say now nowhere is safe? Is that Alien? Or is that Christmas Vacation 2? now there's no there's literally not any surface in this apartment home which i i think they call that at the leasing office they call them apartment homes because they want you to feel like it's fancy she can get to everything and anything and um i'm not sure how i'm going to get through the next few months i did construct a um treadmill for her last night till 1 30 in the morning it's the latest i've been up in a while uh so maybe we'll talk about that too oh And in Sweden, we're trying to get people to do a better job of throwing their trash in the trash cans in public. I mean, trash is trash. And so they're having a sexy voice say, oh, yeah, right there.

What a fun, sexy time for you.

In Swedish. We have the audio, and we'll play it for you coming up. Oh, and speaking of trash, or at least debris, I spent a better part of the weekend smashing a fireplace with both a sledgehammer and something called a demo hammer. Oh, my God, guys, we are crushing it. And my body may never recover. That is a true story. So we'll probably talk about that as well. Plus, we'll talk to this handsome young stranger, the longest running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He can feel very proud that he attended maybe the best and certainly and possibly last Mariner High Point for the whole season over the weekend. He is Andrew. Hey, Lloyd! Wall, Shanice joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. I went on a little bit of a journey during your intro today. That tape that we played at the very beginning of the show, that's Stephen Tobolowsky. I don't know if you recognize that voice or not. I hear you very well. Yes.

This is from Silicon Valley, right? Yep, from the show Silicon Valley. It's a pretty old little piece of tape. But it's funny. Hadn't played in a while. Anyway, all that is to say, I was jotting down in my spreadsheet, if you can jot down in a spreadsheet. It feels like that's too casual a thing to do on a spreadsheet. You know, I guess I was entering data. Spreadsheet is like entering it, right? Yes, yes, exactly. But I was entering data in my spreadsheet where I keep track of all of the intros that we play. I started this a couple of years ago so that I don't repeat the same stuff too much. And so I'm writing in the spreadsheet, like Stephen Tobolowsky, that I'm like, I don't know how to spell his name. So I Google him, and I had it wrong. I had it almost right. I went with the PH instead of the V in Stephen, so I was right about that. But then I had an I at the end of the name instead of a Y. Oh, sure. And so I'm Googling him, and one of the first images to pop up of him is a pretty young. Like, I always think of Stephen Tobolowsky as being, like, middle-aged as a baby, right? Like, he came fully formed as a middle-aged. He was born as Stanley Jenkis. Right. Is that the guy from Brownhawk Day? Oh, Memento.

Yeah, he's the star of Memento. He's the non-Guy Pierce star of Memento. Oh, he is? Oh, God, I haven't seen that in so, so, so long. His name is Stanley Jenkis. He's the guy who's been getting injected by his wife. But yes, of course, Ned Ryerson is probably him.

Ned Ryerson, of course.

Ned Needlenose Ryerson, remember? Got mono real bad in high school. stop dating your sister because you told me to

so all of this is to lead me to a I guess kind of a weird place and a weird question for you especially because we don't objectify people on this show but the first picture that showed up when you google him was what he's using now is his twitter profile pic which is a much younger version of him I'm going to put him maybe in his maybe 20s maybe early 30s maybe you can tell me it's a black and white photo and Luke my question for you is this was steven tobolowski kind of a snack like or am i because i'm looking at the picture a little bit you know who he looks like nerd glasses on but those nerd glasses are kind of popular these days so it's like you know this photo is aged well i yes he you know he who

he looks like speaking of stevens he looks a little bit like a steven merchant from the british office and extras and things like that i'm trying to give people another another kind of visual in their mind for what a young tobolowski i mean full head of hair i could see i'm starting to see coming yes i'm seeing what we would call foreshadowing in the hair replacement industry i don't think that's the term they use but no definitely this is not a this is not a version of steven tobolowski i have ever seen and what i where i thought your question was going before i clicked on the picture was is it false advertising for steven tobolowski to use an old picture of himself when that's not what he looks like in the world and his profession is putting his face in movies and television but now that i see the picture i don't think so what would be false advertising to me would be a headshot from seven years ago you know what i mean yeah i mean that's

the thing is steven tobolowski everybody knows what he looks like he's leaned into very much that you know middle-aged man type i don't think this isn't like an author or a musician that we rarely see and they're using a slightly or even just someone on their linkedin page yeah exactly

and again not that anybody owes us anything and like you said we generally don't talk about people's physical appearance in this way but i do think there is i get worried about this as it relates to me which is there are a certain number of pictures circulating in the world of me that i don't even have control of and they're all like now going on 15 years old there's one that was from this seattle times profile of me standing in front of dick's drive-in and that will come up semi-regularly if if i'm going to be interviewed somewhere or if someone's just searching for an image of me and that mortifies me because i do not want somebody who comes to an event to think i'm trying to portray that like that's what i look like you know yeah etc so so to me there's like a picture from when you were you know a picture from 30 years ago like tobolowski's using which is just cool to see like man and he's sitting in this some kind of a like bent willow yeah chair looks like my brother yeah but still like some my brother-in-law jason would make who's like this incredible artist with wood anyway i love to know the backstory of this photo whereas if if steven tobowski were using a headshot from 10 years ago where he's just a little more youthful that i would be like all right tobo calm down tobo take it down a notch tobo those are all podcasts that he hosts turn it up tobo was the original one but then they

turned it up too much so i had to turn it back down um going globo with tobo that's where he talks about the shipping industry yeah and shipping uh canal issues but uh yeah i was big month something i can't remember what i was gonna say but yeah i think was it about Oh, I was going to say. There is probably, with you and I, there is a moral imperative, I would guess, to always use the worst photo of us for anything public. Just like, you take it from down below, you put the phone on the ground, you stand over it, and you look down so that you have as many chins as possible.

Do you mean the photos that are taken of us, or are you saying the ones that we nominate for usage?

I'm saying from now on, in order to be honest with you and the listeners, I will only use the worst photos of me in any kind of public scenario.

Well, I thought, I mean, what's funny is most of the photos that are taken of me in public scenarios are unbelievably unflattering because they're sometimes taken from somebody who might be in the audience or they're like six miles away in the back of the audience or something. It's, you know, sometimes it was after the show and folks like, hey, do you want to take a picture? I'm like, totally. And then I have my little system. I stole this move from from Paul F. Tompkins. Andrew, have I broken this out with you at a TBTL event? where you use your own phone as a light source i don't know it is a game changer i just this is for everyone whether are you working podcasting or not if you're with a group of people and you're in a dark bar or room or theater anywhere where the light's a little bit on the low side and people want to take a picture somebody in that group grab your phone put on the flashlight on your phone and hold your phone out like a light source while someone else is taking the picture. It is unbelievably flattering.

Oh, nice. No, I don't think you've ever told me about that one. You were the one who first told me about turtling, though. You have a long history of hacking the photos.

I'm doing anything and everything in my power to try to, you know, within reason, and while still following somewhat of a moral code, But I am trying everything I can to trick the camera into thinking I'm not as homely as I am. That is for darn sure.

I'm going to send you something here, and I'm going to put a listener on blast, and I hope it's okay for me to do this because this is a dear listener to us. This is Kristen, who we met – Kristen in Kansas City, who we met on our road trip and greeted us at the train station. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about our dear pal, Kristen.

Except the thing you're about to say.

Which is, where's my money, Kristen? it's been four years you told me you paid me back immediately no i'm sending you a photo so i got this on the text line yesterday and i think this has come up on the show recently and maybe i was talking to veves about it on another show but um there is like i am a man of a certain age with wait what a beard and there is and glasses and you know i have this is so cool of people around seattle especially people probably who look like me a little bit but there is something where i think a lot of listeners see stuff they just see bearded men and they think it reminds them of me which is a nice thing it's this is not a drawing of you are you serious you're going to take

kristen's side on this this is such a cool i wish this was a drawing of me this person looks so

badass but that person looks nothing like me oh my god there's a show pick today are you so everybody knows what you're talking about so this is a sketch that let me just set this up for the

listen are you bleeping me that is absolutely ridiculous what does hot girl that looks so much like you i thought that what you're gonna say is that i'm talking lovely listener kristin well i also am of you think anybody with a beard and a button-down shirt looks like me that's not true this if i told andrew if i told someone oh wow a listener did a cool drawing of andrew and i showed them this they would go holy shit that's badass this is like you right after you wrestled a bear

to the ground no the person in this sketch which is like a it looks like maybe a pen and ink sketch kind of thing kind of a rough hewn kind of sketch that's framed hanging on a hotel room wall Kristen is staying somewhere and she took a photo of it and sent it to me and said hey there's a picture of you hanging on the hotel lobby or whatever here and um I'm and I saw that and I didn't respond but I'm just like listen and it's not that the band is a bad looking man like he does he looks he looks grumpy he's smoking a pipe he looks um he looks like you say pretty badass but i see none of myself in there i see what if i were to text this myself to a variety of people

that we know and ask them hey who's this a drawing of they will every person to a person andrew not one person will fail to say that's andrew walsh no way man are you i mean well you look at the look at the eyebrows those eyebrows are like oh my giant big thick eyebrows are you are you not also a person who has said that you feel you suffer from face blindness does it possible oh you're gonna start using my own words against me so that's where the consequences of my own

action i just wait this is clearly a sketch of a mitsubishi mirage

i'm telling you now now so i had a i was because i jumped to so many conclusions uh before i even got the full story on this i was thinking that kristin had sent this to you and that this was framed at your house and first of all i was going to say handsome frame like i like this it's like a good the presentation of this is really strong and also i want to get this drawing for you so

you can it's in madison wisconsin we gotta ask kristin i assume that you texted me so you're still listening to tbtl um so you will hear this uh genevieve seen this andrew no genevieve has not seen this um do you want me to are you sending it to her now no no no i'm not i'm not no no i was

just curious what her what her thought would be on this i mean maybe maybe she studies your face more carefully than i do as you know she is your partner you live together i just and again here's the thing this is where my ego is is um drives a lot of my thoughts about things i just think this is a cool ass drawing of a guy who looks like a cool ass so even so if somebody sent me something like this that looked vaguely like me but i didn't think it really looked like me but he looked cool

i'd be like yep i sent this to jenna i think genevieve knows that this is something that happened on that's right it happened on after these messages recently because somebody saw a guy who's like you know actually this guy was younger than me and actually had a little bit more hair but receding hairline body type like mine beard kind of reddish hair in a commercial and said this guy looks like Andrew and I gotta say that one I saw a little bit more did look like me it was funny though because the still image that the person sent this to me was like you know you send a link to somebody and it's a video and it's a still image the still image was a different man with a beard who was like way thinner than me about 10 years older than me and black and I thought that the listener was saying that that man looked like me because it was a man with a beard and I was like oh no this has gone too far then I hit play on it and I realized oh no there's the other man in this commercial is the one that reminds and I I can see that but Genevieve already knows this is a bit of a um pet peeve is too strong of a word but it's something that I've noticed that I think that people just see beards and it's nice people are thinking of me it's you know that that's a nice thing but I just sent this to her she probably knows where I'll be coming from on this but I tried to be fair and balanced I said do you think this looks like me or not I didn't say how I feel about it I didn't say anything okay well I took a completely different

tacked for Becca. I just sent her the picture, and I said, did you see this drawing of Andrew that a listener did?

Now, Becca I've met twice, I think.

But she's seen your face. I love how you're already trying to undermine the study. Well, I just don't know

that Becca is the best person to say. I mean, again, that's somebody who's met. Okay, which X should I

send it to? Carrie? Romo? Did you ever meet Nicola?

I'll tell you what. Send it to Vanessa. How about Jeanette Lodwig? Oh, how that goes.

Nikki Ballier, first girl I kissed, eighth grade, Snow King Ice Arena. Hey, does this look like Walsh? Actually, she was a listener for a while, so she might have a sense.

All right, we'll see. I don't know. I mean, those eyebrows could not be less like me, but then you're like, okay, now Andrew's picking it apart and saying the eyebrows. Again, not a bad looking man. Like you say, he looks like he wrestled a bear. I should just take the compliment, but I just don't see it at all.

I know that this is absolutely the perfect time to move on from this conversation, which is why I would like to keep talking about it. No, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, and I don't want to psychoanalyze. But I think that I mean this, Andrew, as your friend. I think there is a bit of a genuine disconnect between how the inside of your body and brain feels and how the outside of your body and face presents. And I think that maybe adds to you Sometimes and I'm not even talking about the guy who had the name Andrew Walsh because maybe that was Certainly more of a stretch than this one But I was of the opinion that that person also For being named Andrew Walsh And for people that don't know A listener wanted to find their favorite Substitute teacher in like Was it New Jersey or something

I think it was somewhere out east

And that their teacher had been named Mr. Walsh and that teacher was actually named Andrew Walsh and they were a really cool teacher They just did a lot of fun, inventive stuff in the classroom. And when we finally got to track this person down, which was a kind of quite triumphant, I was shocked by how he, I thought, bore at least a passing resemblance to our Andrew Walsh. He also had a beard. He liked to wear kind of flannel shirts. It was enough that I thought, boy, this is this is added coincidence. That was one thing. This drawing, though, I really think the nose looks like your nose. The eyes look like you're he's wearing glasses. it just feels it looks a lot like you and it makes me wonder like i've never it seems rare that i've said oh this person looks like you andrew and you've kind of said oh yeah that does and i just wonder if if you do actually have a little bit of a a self-conception that's different than maybe how the rest of us are conceiving you and this is a positive because we're all conceiving you andrew as being a nice looking fellow a pleasant person someone who's not like Not making eye contact.

Someone who wrestles bears Yes we all know that you're a real bear I just think I think you have more kind of conventionally Physically positive attributes than you give yourself Credit for and sometimes that could kind of Warp your sense of yourself

That is a sweet thing to say I do think there Is part of that in my personality that I will Not deny I will also Say that you did not argue that the other Andrew Walsh had a passing resemblance to me you thought That we looked exactly alike and you tripled Down on that Andrew

i have i have a showman you want showmanship you got it okay okay now here's the thing i'm gonna just go this guy looks a little like you or am i gonna make it my person is that the hill i'm

gonna die on that week you're gonna marry that man and say i'm married to an andrew doppelganger no um here so i sent you a link and it's the subject line is watch this now i believe and

this is the snickers commercial lol you know who i think the person the first person is the person who's not me uh well the the sound engineer is uh is a black man wearing a beanie like a beanie

so that's not the one yeah that's the person who i thought was like wait this person thinks that guy looks like me like i'll take it but i don't see it but no so this is a snickers commercial i'll just describe it really quickly you have a man uh in the in a sound booth and that's the guy who supposedly looks like me and he's doing a read he's supposed to be doing a read for snickers but he hasn't had his Snickers today, so he's all confused. And then there's another man who's the audio engineer who's tracking it just for the payoff, even though it doesn't really help. You look at this guy. You formulate your thoughts. I'm going to play the audio for the listeners. I'll let him in here.

Dip into Typhoon Cove. The metro area's most outrageous indoor water park. Hey, Carl? Yeah? We're doing Snickers. We did the water park yesterday. You didn't invite me? We didn't actually go to... Was it fun? Never mind, Carl.

And then it says, you're confused when you're hungry. so there's the audio now the man who's doing the read is a man who's probably actually a little bit younger than me but i think is more representative of what i look like would you agree with that

no the drawing is much closer oh my god this person i think you're in love with me well i mean would that be the worst plot line for the show no it would not how do you think we're going to get another 3703 episodes out of this will they won't they for the next 13 years no i i think that, like honestly I just think that the sketch that Kristen sent in bears more of a physical resemblance, now maybe personality wise and this is where we go back to the thing I was just saying maybe part of how we think of each other in how we think of each other's appearances and maybe even how we think of ourselves in our own appearance I feel like you maybe identify with this person in the recording studio more because he doesn't seem like he just wrestled a bear he's confused about a water park

and i'm famously confused about water i'm just saying maybe this the personality being expressed

in this ad is more how you sort of conceive of yourself than this hemingway-esque character in the sketch and and so maybe that also impacts a little bit when you're ranking which one is the most by the way we do have a response from becca and it's just oh my gosh and then i'm seeing three dots now i know that it was cheating for me to say it was a drawing of you but what i the reason i wanted to do that was to see if she said that doesn't look anything like him or that that oh hmm andrew you're gonna be happy that this is who i reached out to she first she said who's andrew he said oh my gosh a tad more grizzled than andrew's usual look but amazing art uh-huh see

it is amazing art but it's not it doesn't really look like so you're getting the tad more grizzled

That's kind of what you're saying

Send her the Snickers ad

Hey, did you see

Andrew landed a role

Now that would be the ultimate test If she's made any kind of Mental mapping of your face

And she says, yeah, he does look like that audio engineer Anyway, I did not Expect that to be, what is that That was 25 minutes of the show Oh, that was great, do we have a show pic? Yes, we do

I will tell you this, I am attracted to this version of you in the drawing andrew like that is a person i could be a little spoon with that guy

that guy is nobody's little spoon that guy's always no that guy yeah exactly which is great

sometimes i just want to be the little yeah no i know i mean um okay uh but speaking of hyper masculinity andrew i did some hyper masculine stuff this weekend including building a cat

treadmill i oh i'm going to talk about that maybe after the break how about that i can't quite

picture that thing so i we've got let's see i've got to do live wire later today but i think i could do about two hours on the cat treadmill and then another hour on the um on the demo work i've

been yeah i was gonna say that was the i thought that's where you were going with that transition man you were wearing some well that was the joke oh i see so see because like because of the

fireplace and the sledgehammer but then the cat treadmill Right, there you go.

It's a classic switcheroo. Uh-huh. All right. Let's take a quick break, and then we'll be back with more TBTL in just a moment. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right. Where do we start here, Andrew? Construction of this house that I'm working on or construction of this cat treadmill?

Well, I got to say, I'm curious what a cat treadmill is like. And you told me before the show that your house is becoming a gymnasium for cats, generally speaking. Do you have any human furniture left?

No. The human furniture that I have is slowly, actually not so slowly, being turned to dust due to the just absolute energy levels of this cat. So when I was in Chicago and stuff, Bubbles will stay with Becca, and Becca has a cat named Holly. And so that's kind of a good situation for Bubbles. Even though Holly is not as wild as Bubbles is, it just, like, gives Bubbles someone to go mess with. And, you know, so they – I don't know if playing is the right thing because Holly just kind of walks around the apartment and then Bubbles just, like, attacks her from various corners. And then Holly goes, rawr. but it's somehow I think it probably like bio and emotionally regulates the cat a little bit so then we get back here and it's just me and her I think she's got like a lot of energy so I I had was reading and people were saying oh if you get a bangle if you have a bangle and you live in an apartment you should you know figure out a way to really get them some exercise and one of the things that was presented was this cat treadmill which is a big loop it's just a big circle that sits on these kind of rolling wheels and uh you know the idea is the cats run on them and get their exercise now i noted when i was looking at ads for this thing that the cat they had in the video was a bangle which is the kind of cat that bubbles is so that seemed you know like it indicated something but i was also like it's not a cheap item like it's kind of expensive like a few hundred bucks for one of these things and my thought was well if this if we get into a deal where bubbles is just running on this all the time and getting her yaya's out that's a well spent few hundred bucks but it came in the mail while i was um out of town and i last night when i finally got home and and got and retrieved all my stuff from the mail room i was surprised at how not large the box was that the treadmill came in considering the dimensions like i had looked at the dimensions online because i thought where's this thing gonna go and can i fit it underneath this one table like because as we were already talking about this house this apartment this apartment home is turning into like an insane cat zone like everywhere you look there's something related to the cat it's like when people have a baby and then their once pristine home is just everywhere you look it's just baby toys and things related to the child so i was i had been wondering where am i going to put this thing and then the box shows up and it's kind of small i can carry it under my arm and i'm like that's weird well it's because this thing had 800 parts andrew 800 cheesy plastic parts that pop together but not in a i guess considering the cost of this thing i was expecting this to be like a peloton something that was you know how like we're just so used to everything we order now at least if it's anything that's even vaguely electronics

i'll give you an example my headphones were going out last week so i got some new headphones over the weekend and one of a pair that i bought was from some company called sepia like not sepia but sepia and these are like they have long a long cable on them but they're like ear they're like ear pods like they go into your ear and then they have a long cable so i was like i could wear these if i've been running and i don't want to put on big cans that are covering my head my ears up and making me more hot etc the packaging that these headphones came in andrew was like something from the future like it was somehow magnetized the box like it opened like a book and it was like every it was it was just so everything has been apple appleized you know to where it's just like the design of the packaging that everything comes in and the way that it's just an app and you just turn your phone on and then it just finds it like we've just i've gotten very spoiled with how over designed everything is even just coming out of the box this is part of why unboxing

as a whole yeah exactly i think you will think about the brook linen um linens that we got when we were doing ads for them like i didn't know what to do with the packaging because it was so nice like the bag that the sheets came in was so nice that i still have a brook linen bag that i don't know what to do with maybe i'll use it for uh dry cleaning or something so this was not that

this was just a bunch of plastic that was just like with some directions very clear i mean this project very much came from china the directions were did not have any they were they were not language specific obviously so you can send this thing anywhere in the world and it was involved it took me probably two hours to because you have to click all these parts together and you have to put these special and i say special like they're again the design is so low on this thing like like there are these like the basically what holds it together are these little buttons that are kind of on a they're like a u-shaped piece of plastic so there's a little bit of like tension if you were to squeeze it together it wants to spring out right like you're closing these sides of the u and in a one on one of the legs of the u one of the parts there's a bump and that bump has to bump through a couple things to hold them together and it's using the fact that the u wants to expand so it's but it's like all very like the kind of plastic that's still like um it came out of a molding machine but it still has a ridge on it that you can like scratch yourself on yep i know exactly what you're talking about yeah i'm just like it's just everything is that and i'm clicking it all together finally and i'm doing it wrong but then figuring out then there's the whole part about the wheels which are kind of the most essential part of it these like almost like roller skate wheels that the this large wheel sits on these roller skate wheels there's not even directions for that like they literally just left it off

the sheet so is that i'm sorry i just want to get a better picture i could i guess i could google it but but like just for the listeners as well so the whole thing so the the the treadmill part is the u-shape or is it a full circle like a merry-go-round it's a it's a full circle like a ferris wheel ferris wheel not merry-go-round sorry about that i'm gonna i'm gonna okay so it is okay i can picture that almost like a hamster wheel then it's it's very much like a hamster

will it's in fact that's the perfect um way to describe it okay so i'm texting you a little video i made last night of her tentatively um the video is too long okay oh one of those things yeah

so and but i'll kind of circle back to something that you were saying before if i can say circle back um it's like yeah this is a good investment if the cat uses it but that's never a guarantee with cats at all like and sometimes you won't know for the first 10 years of owning something

whether or not your cat is going to warm up to it yes and it's massive i mean i'm going to send you this video this i mean it's probably stands almost five feet tall off the ground wow so and it's and it's you know the thing is as of right now bubbles is barely weighs enough to move it because that's the other thing i just i had this sense that it was going to be i don't know what i thought this thing was going to be but i thought it was going to be a lot fancier than it is it's this big plastic wheel that i've clicked together that sits on these other little wheels that are not as kind of like the ball bearings in them are not quite as sort of frictionless as i was hoping it's sort of like when i was a kid and i wanted a really cool skateboard like a vision gator but like at some point i remember being in like a i don't know what it was a kmart and seeing like a skateboard that was like a much more affordable one like and going like oh my god that looks a lot like the one i see at the skate shop that's a hundred dollars this one's only twenty dollars it's called a hot zone and then getting on it and pushing it and being like oh this thing barely rolls because like what you're paying for with the vision gator is all of the other stuff you know this this cat ferris wheel this cat uh you know treadmill it's just kind of jankier than i expected it to be that being said she did immediately get on it and start trying to

walk great great i'm really surprised by that that's awesome yeah um i but but she doesn't

really understand she doesn't really understand what the um i'm sending you this thing in the email now because it's too big she doesn't understand really how it works yet but what i have a plan i'm gonna get a laser pointer this is just what happens it just keeps eventually my place is going to be the peewee's apartment or peewee's house at the beginning of peewee's big adventure the rube goldbergization of my house to try to get this cat exercised is going to be really something but i she's obsessed with light and laser i don't even have a laser pointer but i was on my phone the other day sitting in this apartment and a sunbeam it was a rare two hours of sunshine in portland a sunbeam i didn't realize this was coming in and hitting my phone and then bouncing and in hitting the top of the refrigerator and I look over at her and I'm like why is this cat obsessing over the refrigerator and I realized oh it's because I have accidentally created this beam of light and then I could start controlling with my phone I could run it up and down the refrigerator and move it around the kitchen and she would just go wherever it was literally this

was happening to me maybe even at the same time it was happening to you only with my watch I think it was Friday afternoon and bananas was sitting on my chest and then all of a sudden she just jumps off me and starts going nuts. I'm like, what are you doing? And she starts slamming into the wall. Oh, she's not the smartest. And then I realized, oh, it's my watch. So then I started, and I was thinking, like, I need a laser pointer. Yes. Like, big time. Like, she's still got a lot of, she's an older cat, but she's still got a lot of play in her. And I realized I want to snuggle with her all the time, but she probably needs to get her ya-ya's out a little bit more. So my thought is, if I get a laser pointer. Drive it off a laser cliff.

Yeah. Uh-huh. My family gas prices. I think about that a lot when I look at what the actual gas prices are. the bruce channeling joke here we go i'm like you know that gas prices joke actually feels extremely relevant no my plan is i think if i get the laser pointer and i put it on the on the treadmill wheel right above where bubbles is she will walk towards it and as she walks towards it she will and i think she'll get like i said as she gets heavier as she grows larger and heavier this thing will move more easily under her weight and i i actually feel despite all everything i said about it i'm actually feeling like it could be something that she sort of gets into that's great that's good news the bigger the bigger situation right now is that she has figured out how to get onto everything in the apartment like it used to be like she knows now that she can jump from the floor to the toilet to the counter the whatever you call it the where i like wash my hands and brush my teeth at night yeah and she's obsessed with running water any kind of water and so she has that nice running water fountain that you got her yes she does she does and she that's you know where how she gets her her her drinking water but anything i was like she would love to get into the toilet would absolutely love it i won't let her because i now i realized if i were to leave the toilet seat up or the cover I should say the toilet cover up she'll just get in the toilet she just that's like that's like a bird fountain for her so I have to keep that down but now what that means is she jumps onto the toilet and then onto the why am I having such a hard time thinking of what you'd call the vanity I guess or whatever which I don't really like I don't really want her up there same thing with now the kitchen countertop she has figured out that she can jump she's in the time that she was staying at becca's her leaping range has increased by six inches so she can now jump from the couch to one of these studio chairs and get up onto the counter she's just figuring out the angles on everything so she can like what she has realized is oh i can't get on that but i can get on something else that's lower than that that then gets me to that so uh i think i'm gonna have to get a water bottle today and we're gonna have to start the process i mean does that consider cruel and

unusual punishment in this current oh you mean a spray bottle like a spritz bottle spray bottle yeah sorry it's interesting um i used to use those all the time like let's see i had before i had theo i uh had a cat named alex i was talking about him recently he was supposed to be named jimmy but then i met him and i said you don't look like a jimmy um but and alex was like i you know i got him maybe when i was 13 years old and had him through high school and everything before i moved away from college and so we were big believers in the squirt bottle because like we would not abide by having cats on the counter um just the idea of a cat like sitting on the counter like where you prepare your food after they've been like rooting around in their litter box yeah or just sitting down and just thinking about what's contacting the counter space there um and so i was always a big proponent of using them not to be cruel not to be mean not to torture them but just to show them boundaries i've kind of gotten away from that i gotta say like it is so weird how much i baby professor bananas now and the name professor means i shouldn't be babying her right she's a tenured she's not tenured but it's just like I don't know like since Theo died I'm just like I let her sit on the I don't let her sit on the counters but I let her sit on the kitchen table right by the window and I'll pet her and she looks out the window at the birds and it's the cutest damn thing and then I immediately like I let her do it when I'm sitting there then I immediately wipe up afterwards using Mrs. Myers and everything and I so anyway I'm not answering your question here's what I've been using to prevent her because there are certain things she's been doing like she's finally stopped but she was really stressed out in this new house and she got into a habit of going to the bathroom on one part of our of a rug of a throw rug that we have that we like a lot and we've been staying on top of it and we have the enzyme cleaner and we're cleaning it up but what I have are those little cans of compressed air people are going to hate this for all kinds of reasons number one compressed air is terrible for the environment and it sounds like i'm torturing my cat but what you do is you get these little things called scat and there you put two batteries or three triple a batteries in them and you attach them to the top of these um disposable compressed air cans have you seen these things and then you set it up and it's got a motion sensor so when you're not there the cat goes by it goes yes about that you should look in a logical fix for my problem andrew how

Look into these.

Escape my.

radar so i live for this shit so i have one down by that area where she was using the rug as a bathroom and she and it seems to work in fact we have a house guest right now who got to our house on friday night no saturday night genevieve wasn't here yet and i was still at the baseball game but we left a key for her and i found out that she came into the house using our key and then saw that we have um the wingspan game birds actually as we call it yeah and she went to go look at it and the thing sprayed her and scared the hell out of her um so she'll never do that exactly and she also did not go to the bathroom on the rug so anyway look up these scat spray things that's sometimes when i mean you say spray but it doesn't spray anything just makes a sound well it does you can it's you can sort of see it come out it's just compressed air it's like one of those like you know like if you squeeze it to clean off your radio board or your computer keyboard or whatever and go i see uh but you know it's directional and you point it one direction um and uh anyway yeah they're they're very useful so that's what i've been using instead of the squirt bottle i haven't sprayed a cat in in years now is the is it end of that i mean i'm sure that

our listeners will have will will have opinions on this um because again i was always thought that that was a pretty humane thing you know it was like it's the water's not going to hurt the cat the cat doesn't like it and it just kind of gets them you know down from wherever i just feel like i'm gonna have to come up with some kind of a system because she's just so except for right now thankfully she's because you know what she's doing right now her very favorite toy for all these toys that i've purchased her and all these things there is because i snore becca has ear plugs like just those kind of like single use ear plugs that were like on a nightstand and bubbles got her hands on oh yeah on those and oh my god yeah it's like they should sell those for a million dollars as a cat toy she's obsessed but she got one of them inside the track of a pocket door the door that opens and closes into this room that i'm in the studio it's a pocket door right so it goes into the wall and somehow she got the earplug into the wall in that track so she's just been over there obsessively trying to get into the pocket door to get her earplug

back out that she loves yeah those seem like the perfect thing for a cat to like i can i can picture her on the table and just pushes it with her paw it's like oh and then knocks it off the table with the paw and then just goes to town on that thing i can picture it yeah um so the good

news is that is keeping her somewhat occupied so um i will um i will keep everyone posted did you see the uh my email juice can you click on the link of her on the treadmill oh let me take a

look here sorry i wasn't checking my pretty um uh it's uh i don't know if it's the system here stop all the downloading gotta stop all the download start all the downloading exactly but i'm really excited that she's into it i'm also excited that you and i are going to be laser

pointer pals because yes you and i although i've heard from people i love it like i half hear stuff about cats and i'm like well that's gospel someone's like if you do the laser pointer with your cat you have to let them eventually catch it or they'll go crazy oh well yeah i mean

i think i mean but what does catch it mean i know exactly i don't know land on it or some

there's probably something where someone puts out an actual treat and then lasers it onto the tree and then kills like there needs to be some sense of finality to it because think about that if you were just like if somebody if you were just like sitting at home andrew and then somebody Somebody was somehow projecting A sub sandwich from Tubs What's the kind that you like to get

What do you like to get there I'll usually get the Cajun But there's also a Joker's dip that I don't sleep on either

Imagine you're just like sitting there at home You're just kind of mind your business Suddenly like a hologram of a Joker's dip shows up And you're like ooh I could really go for that And you reach for it and then it's moving around your house And then just like you're chasing it for hours And then it's just gone Like they need to do something where you think you're taking a bite

of the Joker's Dip. And everybody, just mark your clocks. It was 10.37 a.m. when Andrew decided that he'll be getting a Joker's Dip for lunch today. I realized right when I said that. I'm so hungry. I was sending you on that journey. I'm watching this thing now. I'm liking that Bubbles really is interested in it and seems to be using it correctly. This is really good, getting a little bit nervous, but I think that she is going to take to it. It is huge. I mean, it's exactly as you described it, and you even said it's like five feet high or something, but there's something about seeing it, something this big that is really memorable like this is a big piece of equipment but it's not bad looking though so that's good you know even though you said it's kind of it wasn't the quality that you were hoping it doesn't look like a piece of junk or gaudy or anything

yeah I was looking you know I was scanning the internet and cross referencing because I was trying to find the one that was the most simplistic looking Thank you.

Cause some of them have like, like the interior of them. Cause you, you, you stick this styrofoam in the, you know, on the kind of interior of the, of the hamster wheel for them to run on. And some of those were like cat prints, you know, paw prints and stuff like a lot of it had a lot of flair that I'm not really into. By the way, uh, we do have a little bit of, um, TBTL breaking news. Andrew, if I can. TBTL breaking news. so i said uh i was texting with becca while we were talking and i said this was a thought experiment a listener took this picture in a hotel and andrew thinks it looks nothing like him i wanted to get your thoughts and she said the eyebrows don't look like him ah that's interesting that's so apparently she knows your face better than she knows mine because that was literally

the thing you zeroed in on yet i just got a text from genevieve and again i i wasn't i wasn't playing games i just said do you think this looks like me or not genevieve said from the nose up kind of what from the nose up that's exactly the part that doesn't look like me i don't know man i don't think any of it looks like me really i really don't um i well is can that be the show pick today yeah that will be the show pick today although it's too bad because this picture of the kitty on the track you got it yeah we have an embarrassment well i'm sure the treadmill will

come up tomorrow and then we can get a picture of her on there uh tomorrow the other thing that uh I, uh, I spent my weekend doing, uh, as I was, um, heading down South from Seattle to Portland was, uh, I stopped off at this, at this place that I'm working on. And I, uh, I decided I was going to, I was going to listen to the Mariners game and I was going to demolish my sense of happiness in the world. And it worked. That was called Sunday's game that was called hitting the batter before Raphael Devers. Um, no, I decided I was going to demolish this fireplace that is part of this wall that's going to come down eventually now i've got these contractors coming out but a i don't know when they're actually going to show up because it turns out the contractors have all the leverage in the world these days um and b i don't want to pay um i don't know three or four people however much per hour to swing a sledgehammer at a uh at a fireplace if i can do if if i can break down my 46 year old body permanently andrew and never recover why would i pay someone when i could do that to myself for free but there's something about i mean trashing

stuff is fun and you can get you can work out some of your own demons that way too it's putting things back together that's more difficult so i'm glad i mean if i had the opportunity to destroy

a brick fireplace i would i'm opening one of those rage rooms yeah right the current living room at this house that i'm working on but um i uh i will say actually you know how we were going into the weekend talking about like just quality staring and like some good staring time and how you've got this yard now that you're tending and sometimes you'll just go outside and start pulling weeds and things or burning stuff and standing there in the middle of the night just kind of like interacting with the outdoor space and how fun that is and I really don't have that here in this apartment but I do have that up at this little house I bought and Saturday I was able to get there in time for a watching the sunset and be listening to the mariners which that was the game you were at and without going too far into it was that where did that rank for you in terms of

greatest baseball games you've attended it was good i have some luck though i have been at a couple of walk-offs before and also i was at that great the greatest comeback ever the best mariners game i was ever at was when the mariners were down like seven runs by the second inning to the astros and then we came back and ended up beating them with a uh with a grand slam and then the next day we we traded graveman to them in the middle of the series for abraham toro who is now currently batting i believe 150 um anyway so i mean weirdly like i have i have some good baseball moments but yeah no that was great we don't have to get too much into it but let's just say and this came up last season when I went to a Mariners Red Sox game like Red Sox fans and I know we have a lot of them in the audience and I think they know this about themselves they're the worst like you're just the worst as a fan base you're the worst and you know that and that's fine and that's what you do and you come to the stadium and you start a bunch of chants and you try to get the Mariners fans bummed and you like literally at one point some obnoxious uh Red Sox fans get in the seats behind us they're like not enough Red Sox fans in this section let's hear it you know and like they're Trying to turn the stadium into a Red Sox stadium. And so when it looks like we're going to lose almost the entire game, it looks like we're going to lose. And then we win with the worst, absolute worst part of our lineup. When we win with a walk-off blooper, like, I became the asshole. I started screaming at Red Sox fans. And I didn't realize this, so we were up in the Terrace Club because, you know, why would I interact with the Hoi Ploi? No, my friend got us some nice tickets.

We're kind of up above. We're on the second level, and our seats are right in kind of the front row at this moment. Technically, we're in the second row, but we don't tell anybody, but we went up one row. And so I turn around, and I start just like, you know, just trying to make eye contact with every Red Sox fan who I was listening to behind me the whole time. But then this is where I started yelling because, you know, they kept on trying to start this chant throughout the game, you know, let's go Red Sox or whatever. and there was you know no let's go red socks chance happening after you know as soon as the game ended and so i'm screaming down at red socks fans who i mean are at least 50 of the fans in the stadium uh i'm yelling down at them where's your song i thought you had a song which may or may not get i didn't realize this but i my friend paulie was there with me and he's a baseball fan like He's a Mariners fan, but before he was a Mariners fan, he's just a baseball fan. He's a love of the game. So he doesn't get as worked up about that stuff, and he doesn't take it personally. And for him, he's not working out all of his childhood bullying issues on Red Sox fans, which is a weird way to appreciate baseball. But I guess we all do it our own ways. And so he told me later, as we're having drinks at Teddy's, he told me that he said, oh, yeah, it was funny when that old Red Sox fan gave you the double birds. And I was like, wait, I didn't even see that. I'm like, I got to him. He's like, yeah, but he was one of the guys below and he was kind of an elderly gentleman. And he just flipped you the double bird. You didn't see that. And I was just kind of like, no, I didn't. But that's great. I wonder. And I'm like, I got to him. Maybe he's a Mariners fan now. Maybe I like finally taught him that you don't root for the like, what am I doing when I'm screaming at Red Sox fans? I don't know. But I just I was so geared up for an entire walk out of that stadium and then onto the train. And the whole time I was expecting the Red Sox fans to be chanting Red Sox chants and all the way home. And then suddenly at the last minute, when the when the fates reversed, I was filled with so much when they got to road, when they you got D mode, you got to road and D mode, to road and D mode, baby, that is not how that's supposed to work. And yeah, so I it's funny how like I was like grumbling about them the whole time. And then I immediately became the biggest asshole in the stadium.

Well, I don't know. Turnabout seems like it's fair play. Like to me, the way it should work is if you want to come, if you if you want to go. Well, I'll give you an example. When I was many years ago, the University of Washington Huskies were playing the University of Oklahoma Sooners in Norman, Oklahoma. And I went to that game because my buddy Cotter had season tickets. His uncle was a diehard fan. Neither of us lived in Oklahoma But we decided to meet up there And go see a Sooners game Well really I was going to see a Husky game And the very first play of the game And the Sooners were maybe the number two Three team in the country The Huskies were already pretty bad at that point And they've been consistent with that The boundlessness of their W Is that they're bound to lose football games But so the first play

They're just happy somebody's talking about The boundless W man I mean honestly Props to whoever

Genevieve probably knows whoever is in that department good job you've you've you've shifted the narrative away from just how just non-competitive our football team has been for 20 years but um uh i believe it was lewis rankin uh our fullback at the time or our tailback the first play from scrimmage huskies ripped off a 75 yard um uh run for a touchdown and suddenly we're leading seven nothing it was like a breathtaking moment i was i wasn't wearing actually i might have been wearing a husky t-shirt i think i was even though usually i don't i wouldn't wear a husky t-shirt to a game at at um at husky stadium andrew but i would wear one to norman i don't know i explained the theory there but anyway i went crazy i was had been drinking i was i thought this is going to be the greatest moment of my life the huskies ended up losing i think 57 to 7 yeah then you got to sit in it that's kind of the then i had to sit in it and then and i actually will say this the sooners fans were more polite to me than i deserved because of how i had behaved when the when when the Huskies had a brief moment of looking good I had been kind of a jerk and so anything that was heaped on me after that would have been reasonable in my mind so I just feel like that's how it should work like the Boston fans they're certainly allowed to buy tickets to Mariners games and come out same thing with Blue Jays fans same thing with any opposing team certainly if the tickets are available you have as much a right to them as anyone come out yell for your team do whatever but you also got to be able to take it when that when the when the tides

turn yeah and that's the one thing though and i and i thought about this a lot because if if i were to go to an i think the mariners is a bad example because of just like where they have been you know they've never been winners so like but if i were to go to a mariners game let's say in cleveland because you could see that right i still have family and friends in cleveland let's say that they're playing and i'm in cleveland like for i would probably wear a mariners hat that's like basically

all the all of the logo stuff I have anyways hats and yes when if the team was winning or when they did something good I would applaud and you know what I mean I would cheer for the Mariners I wouldn't be shy about it but I'm telling you like I would not be well obviously with my personality I wouldn't be trying to start chance but I wouldn't even take part in chance but I think maybe a better example would be the Seahawks right I root for the Seahawks and when the Seahawks were um you know at the top of their game now it was a decade ago if you can believe it um but you know Seahawks fans were obnoxious in their own way as well but I'm telling you if I were at a Seahawks game in let's say Arizona right and um the Seahawks were were winning and doing great I would not participate in any kind of because Seahawks fans can really take over that stadium too I I promise you I would not participate in like Seahawks chants and try I wouldn't I would distance myself from obnoxious Seahawks fans in that situation see I guess it gets under the

question of if chanting is by itself obnoxious or if it's all the other stuff around it because to me chanting let's go seahawks like if we if i'm gonna pay the money to travel to dallas the seahawks are playing the cowboys and i'm gonna fly to dallas and i'm gonna get a hotel and i'm gonna buy tickets to the game and i'm gonna go and i'm gonna see other seahawks fans and we're gonna be like we're behind enemy lines which the funny part is when the red sox play in seattle there's more red sox fans arguably than mariners fans yeah i love the announcers i'm sorry this is just descending into this but whatever this is the show everyone over the like god bless rick rico riz but he kept saying like amazing turn out this weekend great crowds and i'm like dingus come on man it's like you there's a reason we've had the average attendance for the mariners uh home games has been 4 000 people and now it's 38 000 people and it's not because it's salute to little league it's because boston red sox travel well uh you know of course there's there's 38 000 people here because there's there's 26 000 boston red sox fans that have come in from and by the way side note and now i'm just doing this i bet you half of them have never been to boston there

was one there was one red sox fan behind me now he was a nicer guy he wasn't being super obnoxious but his girlfriend or partner whoever was there was um razzing him because she was apparently for the Mariners she kept telling everybody he's not even from Boston he's not even from Boston and he was taking it and that see it's not like every fan that roots for the Red Sox it's just like there are these really obnoxious guys who were like kind of in our section or across the row who are just like there to you know they're the dominant team and they can come and like you know

there's just like a tone that I do not abide the Red Sox Yankees Cowboys um maybe to some degree the packers there are these teams man packers might be a bad example but there are these teams in sport that are so iconic and they they were for a while the only teams that would get to play on national tv on the regular and there's a lot of people who's like who have their dad was a boston fan for whatever reason and now they're or their dad was a cowboys person or whatever and they become fans of them i guess my point in that is to say it would be weird if there's 26 000 former boston boston's on a huge city actually but if there's 26 000 former boston residents or massachusetts residents who now live in seattle and go to the baseball game it's like i don't think that math works out it's like there are 26 000 people though who for whatever weird convoluted reason consider themselves to be red sox right and then go to those games but i can't i was just surprised that like the announcers were acting like it was i mean that's just like saying what a great battle for winterfell look at everybody who showed up look at these 1300 people who showed up a lot of them are whites a lot of them are what a great battle

uh in the north um we're probably going to take this too far but i'm going to say one other thing too like dave sims the other kind of like i would say like kind of veteran broadcast announcer right He's more on the TV side usually. For the Mariners, like, he's a really good man. I think that he's actually a really, really good man. But in a certain way, he's too good of a man. And, like, he doesn't like it when, like, Mariners fans boo the Astros players. Like, have you ever heard him, like, weigh in on that? He's like, it was a Sunday game, I want to say, a couple series ago. And we were playing the Astros and we beat the Astros in that series here in Seattle. And like, you know, when when when certain Astros come up to the plate who are known to be involved in the greatest cheating scandal of the of our generation. But they didn't win the World Series that they demonstrably cheated on pitches, did they? And so, you know, I'm proud of Mariners fans for booing those particular players three or four years later or whatever it's been. And keeping this, keeping this animosity up through. pandemic like is great but like i have heard dave sims say several times like what when do you think this will stop you know not like coming out and chastising right away but it's like well when do you think this will they'll stop doing that and like i remember he was with a younger announcer at one point they said well why or something like that they didn't really challenge them but they were just kind of like they didn't even engage that because like that is part of the fan experience and it's like right now like the mariners part of the thing is hey we kind of weirdly weirdly have a well astro fans would say there's no competition between a hammer and a nail but we you know mariners fans feel a certain way about the astros and we've taken some we've been competitive with them the series this season so if we're enjoying that like to have like a sort of dad-like figure on the radio that's sort of representing the fan experience and being like when do you think they'll stop doing this it's like you're pretty you're not reading the room i know i and i just

think as a sport baseball generally speaking is still has way too many unspoken rules about decorum and like bat flipping and like if someone hits a home run somehow it's like then you're allowed to beam the next batter because like what did he do right like i'm sorry that it's like if in football if you scored a touchdown and then you were allowed to just pulverize the guy doing the kickoff like that's what you get for scoring that touch i was like what did i do or even worse

is like oh you you swung uh on a 3-0 pitch like you're that's not gentlemanly i know that or you

bunted you bunted to break up a no hit i mean there's just right 10 000 you 10 000 weird unspoken rules that are have to do with the the way it quote unquote should be and you know they think that the problem with baseball at least in terms of its popularity is it's like the games are too long or whatever it's like well maybe let people have a little more fun and yeah and and And that'll be something. But anyway, I was all excited to listen to the Mariners game and demo this fireplace in this little house that I got. And so I started with that and then realized, oh, this I'm going to need something a little more substantial than just a sledgehammer for this fireplace because it was pretty robust.

But did you I mean, I mean, don't skip over this part. So before you went and found maybe another solution that you'll talk about in a second. So there's a moment where you're just standing by yourself, I'm going to guess in actually my dad was there for a minute and you're holding a sledgehammer. And at some point you just took the first full body swing with a sledgehammer at a fireplace. If that's true, what the hell was that like?

I wish I would like to tell you that that's exactly how it went down. But what really happened was I had a chisel like it's called a cold chisel and a hammer. And the idea is you actually chisel into the mortar that's holding the bricks together.

Yes, that makes sense.

And the reason was because I could have just done that and pulverized the brick, but then you just have, like, a massive amount of tiny debris to deal with. And that's really what this comes down to is debris management. Yeah. Yep. That all makes so much.

Now I realize how naive my question was because everything you're saying makes sense. No, no, no, no. That's not naive because that is. But, like, yeah, that's how you do it.

By the way, that is what I'm, that's how I'm going to probably finish it. Because it's now at this point, the project is at this point where the tool that I rented, I can't really get into the nooks and crannies that are left. I'm basically at this point just going to have to start wailing away on it with a sledgehammer and then just dealing with the fact that it's going to be even more messy. But I realized this is going to take forever, or I could go rent a tool for this. So I called up the local Home Depot by where this house is, and I went and I—

Is that where doers get more done?

Don't make me get the music out, Ant.

Don't make me get the Lowe's thing out. I already heard it. Like, you've social engineered us enough that we can just hear the music.

But so I go and I rent this thing called a demo hammer, which is just like a – I don't even know how to describe it. It's just a big tool that you hold that you can switch out the bit on the end. So it's like different kinds of levels of pointiness and flatness based on what you need. And you just like it's just like imagine a massive drill, except instead of spinning in a circle, it's it's going out in like a piston out and out and out and out and really rapidly. And you just hold that thing like it's like a jackhammer that's smaller and you hold it upright instead of standing on top of it. And I rent this thing at Home Depot. First of all, I get this guy on the phone, Brian, very knowledgeable, very nice. But one of those kind of just like I've said this, like at these home improvement stores, if you call them that these Home Depot's and Lowe's. you either get somebody who is totally checked out or who is really checked in maybe even too checked in and i talked to brian on the phone i couldn't get off the phone with him i called him just to go do you have i was asking if he had a roto hammer or uh and he was like i got that he's just listing like 50 different kinds of tools and i'm

Okay it sounds like you got a coverage guy I got bits you can Different bits you can rent And I'm like okay Brian I'm coming in And he's just still talking as I hang the phone up And I get in there And the tool rental area And then there's this younger employee And she's now kind of in the other category Like I walk in and I'm like I didn't even say I was talking to someone else I just said I'm looking to rent Like a rotohammer And she kind of looks around a little confused And what I really wanted to say was is the guy i was talking to on the phone here but i didn't want to say that because it's a little gendered it's assuming some stuff but i'm secretly hoping that brian comes out and so sure enough this person is you know helping me kind of stand near where the things are and i'm like what are the different sizes i'm asking questions she doesn't really know because i don't know if she maybe even works in this department most of the time and the next thing i know i just hear like are you the guy from the phone and i turn around and it's like there's brian and brian looks exactly like you think white beard home depot hat he's going about five two if he's a minute just like this little elfish knower of tool rentals and so he's like taking me through the whole thing he's like you want to get this kind and then like when i finally so i fill out all the paperwork and i get the one he's telling me and get the different bits and he's like he stops me he literally puts his hand on my shoulders i'm and i'm also the other thing is i'm on a timeline i'm trying to get this thing rented get back to my place my dad is gone now he's back on his way to pick up my mom from the airport and i'm like i have like a couple of hours to try to like get rid of this fireplace with this tool that i'm renting so i really want to get out of there so i've got it in my arm and i'm like quickly signing all the paperwork i'm like i got to get out of here and i could feel a hand on my arm and it's brian he just goes eye protection i make sure eye protection and i was like okay thank you did you go back and buy some goggles or did you know i actually had i actually had um goggles at the place already i had sort of saturday no brian was great brian was great so so okay so i go to back to the place i use this device again the demo hammer and i whatever i'm done with it i've got to go back to portland so i box it all back up and i bring it back to the rental place and now it's the same young woman who had helped me previously and i want to mention this about this particular Home Depot I have never I don't know what is going on Andrew what was going on yesterday on this Sunday in this town I was in but I have never seen in my life a Home Depot or a Lowe's for that matter where you had more employees with less to do and not in a bad way like not in a way that it was like these were employees who look like they worked on a highway crew and they were just trying to you know look busy like and i don't mean that to be critical of highway crews but growing up wasn't that always the thing it was like a trope i would hear my dad like talking yeah and i don't even know if that was true or not i certainly

wouldn't want that job but my point is it wasn't like i remember walking in and i was like looking for a tarp and there's like two employees standing right there i was like hi where would i find a tarp and they were like right over there and i went to the tool rental and there was brian and this this other person working there no one else in the tool area as i go to get the tarp i'm just passing employees and they're doing that thing where if they're at the register they're standing in the aisle like hey i can help you over here oh that's right that's great yeah like it was it felt like they had just opened the store just for me and they had a hundred employees in there the in appliance section the person at the appliance section is standing at the front of the appliance section like hey how's it going you finding everything okay like i have never felt more cared for in one of these stores because there are also those days where you just like can't find a person to help you you're just wandering wandering trying to find somebody wearing a vest that tells you they might know where the you know pvc pipe is so i say all that because this store was dead d-e-d dead yesterday so i get the um demo hammer back and the um the home depot employee she sort opens the box and she looks at it and she goes this is kind of dusty and i was like well you know demoing with it but i mean it wasn't like there's no mud on it there's no it's not encrusted with anything it might have had some amount of i actually the the carpet in this house that i'm working on is going to get ripped up so i now use the carpet like the way you use a hotel room towel after you're eating pizza sitting on the bed you're like well this is a napkin now i use the carpet that way so i remember taking this thing and kind of rub like kind of placing it on the carpet and moving it and flipping it over to try to get a little bit of the dust off it just looks

like something called a demo hammer yeah this is interesting because i i wouldn't you know me i'm pretty conscientious i'm also just like anal retentive so i would probably clean it but like is that like if i rent a car which i did recently i don't know if you know that was mitzv Thank you.

see mirage um no but if you rent a car and then you return it like yeah there's going to be some like it's it's not my responsibility to vacuum the car out before i return it right i mean you have to return it in some sort of decent shape like you don't want to have like some atrocity in the back seat or something but like like uh good lord what happened here but like you're a little dusty i'm i'm really i'm again as a clean as a clean person i'm surprised to take this side but that's that is that is that in the fine print somewhere that you have to polish this thing

i guess it was they that it's actually i realized this on the like what would you call it you know how like we still have these vestiges i'm not i'm not trying to tell people how to feel about the pandemic i'm not trying to declare it over but you know how all of this plastic when all this loose site went up at some point and some of it remains and some of it doesn't well they had you know something that had gone up at some point in this tool rental area uh probably in the part of the pandemic when we were doing that and there was this little thing that said cleaning fee may be assessed or something okay which i had not noticed when i was but again i i almost i wish i could have taken a picture of this thing because it was not like again it wasn't like it was encrusted in mud it wasn't like it was there wasn't human blood on it there was nothing it was just it was a thing called a demo hammer that had been rented and a countless number of times and that when i got it looked like a working tool that people rented and when i brought it back looked like i even like i carefully rolled up the cable to put it back you know had the bits where they go i had it all actually pretty organized she goes this is pretty dirty and i go well this is kind of what it looked like when i got it and she goes well i'm gonna have to charge you a cleaning fee unless you can clean it and i was like how how do i clean it is there somewhere to do that or something do you have paper towels and she goes um there are alcohol wipes over there and there was like a place where you could get basically alcohol wipes to like wipe your hand down another vestige of the pandemic era so i was like okay now let me mention at this point not only is it this employee another employee is just standing there with her so what happened was i walked over got alcohol wipes walked back over to the tool while these two people stood there and watched me i hand wiped down the demo hammer and then finally at one point by the way this gal's parents walked in randomly and they were like hey we're just coming to say hi how you how you doing and she was like i'm doing great and i'm just like here cleaning this tool thinking don't you work here like i just paid 50 to rent this thing there is no one else here you're just watching now you're talking to your parents also she said me love you long time to her mom when she left which i found weird i thought it was like a weird messaging thing for a lot of reasons a just the racism of it also i think that has a sexual connotation okay fine but so i just sat there cleaning this rental tool sufficiently that then this person said okay that looks good and then i boxed it up and handed it to her and then i left i was like that was the weirdest interaction that is strange you work here you're getting paid by the home depot to interact with these things i mean i mean maybe you didn't like dream of being the rental tool cleaner upperer but it seems like that would come more with the territory on your side of the counter than mine yeah it's i mean it's interesting

the fact that it was posted and don't don't get me wrong i probably wouldn't have noticed it either But the fact that it was like an actual policy, not something that seemed to be made up on the fly, changes my attitude towards that a tiny bit. But that is a strange kind of and again, like it literally might not be her job. I'll bet you there is somebody who works in the department that you get you you intake the rental returns and then you get them ready for the next rental. And so there's real possibility that it's literally not her job to do that. So that's fine. So I don't want to like kind of go too hard on that. but i would say that if i were probably in her position i would probably just take it and wipe it down but it's also right it's a weird dynamic that you're just sort of doing it in front of her

until she said while they're just standing there it was like because i understand if you if i rented a cement mixer you can't bring a cement mixer back with cement that's drying in it like that would be that once that happens it's just not you know and there's a lot a lot of tools that you could rent from that place that if you brought them back encrusted in something they would either be damaged permanently or just like a total nightmare to get clean like i get that kind of dynamic but this was just a thing that is designed to create dust that is um that was a little bit dusty that i then just stood and cleaned while this person who gets who's being paid by the hour to be at this place was just watching me clean so i mean all's well that sort of ends well and then the funny part was she was very nice about it afterwards she was like thanks for cleaning that. And I was like, well, you're welcome. but also you were going to charge me eight bucks if i didn't so actually for eight bucks i'm kind of surprised that you i mean i don't probably could well you know why i did you know why i didn't because i'd already gotten upsold on the insurance oh yeah which i always turn down the insurance on everything but they were like it's seven dollars and then if anything goes they go and it was this whole complicated thing where it was like well you've been pre-charged seven dollars and i was like do i have to pay that and they're like no but it does cover the tool so if anything happens to the tool while you're using it it's covered and part of me was like wouldn't it be my luck if i turn this seven if i say no thanks and then just like the cord shorts out this thing a brush burns out inside the motor and it was just like seven dollars to make sure that i don't owe them anything on this that's smart i would take that too and i don't i never take that

i don't usually either like i don't think i've ever bought a piece of like electronics or anything where they say you want the extended warranty like even this recorder i'm recording on right now like you're buying your new baby, you're excited about it, you're hoping to have it for a really long time, and for a second you're like well, am I being the world's biggest idiot by not buying this thing? But there has not been a time, now I'm looking at my recorder please don't short out as I say this as you record these words, but I've never regretted not getting the insurance or extended warranty or whatever I've never had a piece of electronics break on me and be like why didn't I get the warranty? Like, if it breaks really quickly after you get it and it's not your fault, well, then you better be able to get your money back. And after that, just take care of your stuff.

Yeah, I think if I hadn't opted for the insurance, which I didn't need, I would have probably just been like, clean it, please, someone else clean this. But I was like, I was somewhere carrying around a certain amount of annoyance that I had sprung for the insurance. So I was like, I can't spend $15 of non-tool rental stuff here. I can't spend $15 on side issues related to this demo hammer.

I can see her saying, I'm going to charge you $8, and you just make it rain $8. Take it all.

It's probably just as well, though, that I was very civil about the whole thing. Which, again, not that I would have been uncivil or threatening, but let's just say I would of like i saw this guy getting into it with the avis people and i kind of that's such a bad look but i kind of was siding with him this is what he said i the reason it was good i wasn't getting into this person was because a that would be rude and be her heavily tattooed father then walked into the which is just like when has that ever happened in history who's the guy from that sketch from kristin's hotel room yeah exactly uh anybody need any bears wrestled i was just like imagine i was kind of just being like this is ridiculous like i'm for some reason having a meltdown i'm like you cannot treat people this way and like i'm having and then this like this dude wanders into the home depot like that's my daughter next thing you know you're just like

being lifted off the ground from behind from the struff of your neck and your feet are dangling

two inches exactly but no the guy at avis uh i i mean he when i say getting into it i mean he wasn't here's what he was saying he was standing at the counter at sea tech airport he was very apoplectic and what he was saying to the guy was and by the way i was having a similar issue i had a car rented and then i showed up and then it just said like it didn't usually it'll say like here's where the car is like on this reader board it'll be like it's this stall but they were like avis app and i was like okay so i look at the app and it's not telling me anything so then i got in line and when i got to the front the guy was like i said it just says avis app i'm looking on the app but i can't see it he goes no that just means you got to come to this counter and i was like okay things are starting to break down here but the guy who was was really up kind of upset was here's what he was saying he goes i'm moving across the country with my wife and my kid and a hundred pound dog and all of our stuff this is why i needed a minivan which i reserved and i called yesterday to double check there would be a minivan and now you're telling me there are no minivan yeah that's that's rough man that's rough like like i mean and like you got your family there you got your dog you got all you i mean i don't think they were moving like all their possessions in a minivan but it was like and he goes and we're moving cross-country yeah the fact that he had the fact that he had checked and double checked yeah only to arrive and be told no that is the kind of thing that it's you know not specifically that person's fault who was on the other and i think he even said look i don't think this is you but you could tell this was a person who was one he was about one click away from just absolutely levitating with anger

i um that's yeah that is rough and to be able to maintain your calm and still say like listen i know this isn't your fault but then sometimes depending how the other person is treating you it might not be their fault but if they're if they don't seem to be understanding at all that is

that is really something.

Yeah. And then they started walking away and then like, I just heard him. So now he's walking with the guy, presumably to go look at some other vehicle to see if it's sufficient. And then I just hear some like loud yelling, which was weird because the guy who was mad had a mask on. So you kind of couldn't, I just heard this yelling that I thought like, Oh no, is he going to fight the guy? But then they just kept walking. And then as I'm going to my car, there's just a different family of like a, a dad, a mom and their grown kid getting into a minivan. And I was like, y'all better get out of here with that van. If that other dude sees you, he will knife you for that van right now.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, Lee. Email or V-mail before we... We didn't get to sexy garbage in Sweden. Oh, yeah. there's a couple of other stories actually too that i'm want to talk to you about this thing with the space needle i feel like there's one interesting you sent me that article over the weekend yeah space needle suing this coffee company there's one i don't even know how to call it a dazzling deep but there's a detail in that story that i want to zoom in on tomorrow

oh interesting i wonder what that is i don't remember i read it yesterday so i don't remember what dazzling detail would stand out to you but that'll be a fun game to play um all right let's play a voicemail here i got several but and we don't have to play them all but um let's play this one from uh kim in florida and this is regarding well i think she sets it up okay but we're just talking about how uh some iphones or maybe all iphones are going to have the ability to retract text messages or even maybe edit text messages after you send them take a listen to this

hey um this is kim from st pete i was just listening while i'm making dinner and you guys were talking about uh oh my god what is wrong with me too much negroni um you can delete text messages now and i remembered a time about two years ago when i started working at a school and one of the other teachers gave me this t-shirt that said second grade squad and it had a bunch of crayons dabbing on it and it was horrible and i took a picture of it of myself

wearing it and can we just take a moment though and just like really just like think about this t-shirt so it says second grade squad yeah so it must be you know all the teachers who teach second grade or something along those lines and it's got crayons and they're dabbing in it remember dabbing

yes yeah oh the crayons are dabbing the actual crayola crayons yes so they have arms yes i assume

that they're little characters so burnt sienna has an arm it's dabbing they're dabbing yeah

and it had a bunch of crayons dabbing on it and it was horrible and i took a picture of it of myself wearing it and tried to send it to my friend group and said god guys look at this horrible shirt my co-worker gave me and i sent it to the co-worker who gave it to me the whole second grade squad as they called them and that was pretty mortifying and i had to play it off like oh just kidding i was joking the shirt is gray um yeah that was a terrible story

that was not a terrible story that was that was a story that had me at the edge of my seat

well and it and it points out it points out exactly how desperate we get when we're caught in those moments which is that's a that would be such a dumb joke that would be such if that were a joke like haha that's my sense of humor you would rather this person think that you have the world's least good sense of humor than for them to know that you didn't like the shirt like because how would that be a joke like look at this terrible shirt someone got me and then you send it to the person who got it for you and then they're like oh and you're like i'm just joking like you'd rather like the time that i misunderstood uh someone's pregnancy status at the hotel i thought this young woman she appeared very much like she was pregnant she's wearing an empire waist dress and i said something like boy everybody's having babies these days or something because i had i was working at wnyc and there was a number of staffers there that were pregnant and the uh person behind the front desk she sucked in her stomach and said did you think i was pregnant i'm not pregnant and i went no i was just saying everybody's pregnant these i would rather her think that i'm a person who wanders around saying everyone's pregnant these days

you know and you have now for the past 20 years just gone around and muttered that your commitment

on the chance that that same hotel front desk person from manhattan would be wandering through the airport when i say it but like i was like instead of me just being like yeah i misunderstood the situation i would rather she think that i am a lunatic i know you've told that story on the show

before but can you remind me the tone with which the woman responded that is such a cringe not and

she was not it was it was um kind of flat in that she wasn't

mad she wasn't like how dare you say that but she also wasn't laughing like oh my gosh did you think i was pregnant like it wasn't because if she laughed it off i would have been like oh i'm so sorry that dress or i don't know what i would have said it was somewhere in between it was it was involuntary i blame the popularity of the empire waist dress by the way do you know what an empire

waist dress is yeah i can picture it but i gotta say i'm very in style for a while blaming the but here's here's the most astounding part of that story and i i don't know if you know where i'm going to go with this but the most astounding part of that story to me is you're still out there doing that i mean you just told the story like three weeks ago when we were in denver do you know that's the first time that i've done that since the incident i would never ever like i just don't know what the upside is of assuming it like i'm talking you are going to have a baby tomorrow I'm not going to bring it up until you bring it up unless, like, I know you. You know what I mean? Like, I just can't imagine ever volunteering that to somebody I don't know. What is the upside? Limited.

I mean, no, I mean, like, I think I was I think probably what the reason I decided to shoot my shot at the Enterprise thing in Denver was because, A, it was overwhelmingly obvious this person was pregnant. B, I was euphoric from getting you a different car I think that it was just one of those weird things Where I was just so relieved That they had given you a different car That that had worked Because we had gotten such a hard no That I think probably I was like You know, was celebrating in the end zone I could have gotten an illegal celebration flag Thrown on me I was bro-ing down I was like, hey, you know, good luck with the kid Like I just was It was like I was I was feeling a little too celebratory

Yeah, yeah It's just, that's just a big, that's just a big swing to take at any, any moment. It is, and you're right. I mean, I don't comment on people's shoes anymore. Well, and I'm not trying to say that, like, hey, you can't say anything these days. I just mean that, like. You don't comment on people's shoes? What's that? You really don't comment on people's shoes? No, I mean, maybe, I mean, honestly, well, I guess it depends on the circumstance. Like, I certainly, I certainly, there was a time, like, I even remember the grocery store, not all that long ago, probably within the past, I'm going to say three years or something like that because i think i was living in the old apartment but um there was somebody who had there was some woman at the grocery store who had something cool on i think she had a kind of a cool dress on or something and i was just like oh man that's a cool dress and she and she responded well to she's like oh thanks but i didn't know her and i was talking about that later with genevieve and she's like there's really no upshot of that and like even though you were being totally fine and you're not a creep like you just don't need to be volunteering anything about women about the way they look to them especially while they're just going about doing their own business and like maybe that seems too careful but there's no downside for that like I can internally think hey that person has a cool dress often that person knows their dress is cool anyway I think I mean

I I agree this is like at 88 minutes into the show this is probably the last last thing we should launch into certainly I would defer to Genevieve generally with this as a woman because I haven't lived that experience and I don't think that a lot of good comes from me as a guy weighing in on what women do and don't want to hear. But let me just do that really quickly. So I'll talk fast. I think then no one will hear it.

I'll talk really quietly.

I think that there is a way to compliment someone's fashion. I think intent matters. And I think there is a way if somebody had on a really lovely dress, I think it could be, you could say in line, Standing in the grocery store Hey that's a very cool dress And also by the way I would use a term like very cool Which would be intentionally non Kind of sexualized I wouldn't say that's a beautiful dress Like I wouldn't use I wouldn't say you look great in that dress I would say oh hey I really like your glasses And then of course Also I would not follow it up with Can I get your number Now I think Genevieve's point is In the moment that I'm saying hey I like your glasses Or oh those are cool glasses in that moment the person i'm talking to has to make the calculation or has to do the interpretation of is this just a nice compliment or is this the beginning of something i may or may not really want to be involved in conversationally that's the downside now here's what i would say though for the upside it's nice to be complimented from for any of us from anyone else when the compliment is not coming from a position of being creepy and when the compliment is appropriate like i think that there is an argument to be made that somebody who puts on a cool dress and goes out in the world and if they're standing in line at the grocery store and someone says to them in a non-creepy way hey that's a really cool dress and that's the end of it that puts some pep in that person's step if it's delivered appropriately and i would see that as an upside like If... somebody came up to me and said oh hey i like i like that i like your blazer or i like your whatever i would feel and if it came from a woman who you know was doing it in a way that didn't make me feel weird i would think oh that was i liked hearing that that that that something i was wearing somebody else thought it looked good or or was kind of a nice choice or whatever however

you exactly frame it yeah but i mean i do think that it has to do with your own lived experience and also and here's where i would like kind of here's where i would if we're going to parse this I'd parse it some more so like let's say I'm in line at the grocery store and that person has already started some sort of small talk with me or even if even if it's a even if it's a very short interaction the person is standing behind me in the line and says hey do you mind if I put my butter my butter here you know if there's any kind of an interaction I might say hey by the way I was I was noticing like those are cool Doc Martens or whatever like maybe something that seems maybe weirder to me I know what you're saying maybe not I was noticing whatever like don't take me literally I'm just saying like studying this yeah no if somebody if somebody interacts with me and they but like I think and I think I stand by this like the person who had the cool dress with pockets or whatever it was I think it was Whole Foods I remember the person was kind of in the dairy section I think and I don't think these was there I think I just told her about it later but it's like that person is totally in her own world right there and you also have no idea what her past experience with men is and some men are terrible and we're not I think But, like, to kind of interrupt somebody's thoughts as they're doing their own thing and just, like, kind of interject, I want to let you know that I think your dress is cool, is, I think, unnecessary. If you are chatting with the person who's checking you out and she or he has cool glasses, I have often complimented people's glasses because, like, I have been wearing glasses my whole life and I really like a good pair of glasses. And so I'm not saying that I have totally that I do not compliment people anymore. It's not that extreme. But I do not think that I will just like approach somebody that I've had zero interaction with and just say, which is something that I think in this case I did. And again, the woman was totally like, she's like, oh, thanks. I love this dress or whatever it was, you know. But generally speaking, I was like, yeah, I guess there's not there's not a there's a smaller upside than the potential downside. if this person was just having a really bad day and maybe dealing with men at work or something. You know what I mean? Like, you just don't know where they are.

I agree with you 100% that approaching someone exclusively for the purpose of, like, in a store, just crossing the produce section to say, hey, those are really cool shoes, that would be weird. Yeah. If you're in line with someone and there is some chatting or if there's, and I think you can read this and I can read this and normal people can read this, if there's a natural opening where it could be deployed in such a way that it didn't feel like you crossed the produce section to just tell them this one thing, I think that that can be okay. But yeah, definitely like having that be the only reason that you approach someone to tell them that is I'm with you. I wouldn't do that because it's just like even if it is a compliment, it's just kind of like that person now has to just – You brought this to them, you know, in a way that just could just give them an initial reaction of like, oh, someone's talking to me. I'm just trying to pick out some, you know, celery or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't need somebody to tell me, you know, and again, even if you focus on the dress, I don't need somebody telling me, reminding me how I look right now. One time somebody came up to me and said, you look exactly like this guy in this sketch that's hanging in my hotel room. And I was like, huh. Except for the eyebrows.

Except for the eyebrows. I was going to say, I do. So the rule still is, though, that everyone who listens to this show, if you see me or Andrew anywhere, you have to cross the produce section and identify yourself. A, because it's good for our ego. And B, because if I'm going to I don't want to shoplift on a 10 in the store.

Yeah. Like it'll really change what is going in my grocery cart. Like, no, no, no, no. I was just I only put 17 pounds of kielbasa in here because I was trying to choose which one I wanted. for later

all right we better wrap things up because we've been doing this for a while today but it was a fun show it was a journey, we went all over the place didn't think we were going to end up there but there we are well thanks everyone for listening we will be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio hey by the way, Thursday night at Revolution Hall here in Portland Live Wire Radio Chuck Klosterman will be there making movies this very cool Latinx kind of rock band playing on traditional instruments anyway maybe come see us you'll be a real cluster fluff i promise you it won't feel claustrophobic in that theater because we haven't sold that many tickets so the more of you that want to come the better uh all right thanks we'll see you tomorrow until then have a great Monday, and please remember no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Daring. Gas prices.

Whoa! Psycho, screwy, and totally unbalanced. Chandling turns the stand-up stage into a mental institution. Laser pointers? you know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to take my laser car and drive it off of a laser cliff

power out