Muse

how you doing there dude not too good man one of those days yeah well a wiser fellow than myself once said sometimes you eat the bar and what's your blood sometimes the bar while eat you. Is that some kind of Eastern thing? Far from it. TBTL!

Have you ever bought a panini at a restaurant? What's a panini? A panini's a sandwich.

I don't know why you call it a panini.

Well, panini's Italian, I think. What's Italian? That's a country in Europe. It looks like a boot, kind of shaved out. Like a cowboy boot. If I were you, I wouldn't focus on what he's saying, but more the fact that he's saying something.

Hello, town jubilation committee? I got something that's going to make you a lot less jubilant. I just might have tacos tonight. It's immaterial.

This party is going to be off the hook.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. The word that comes to mind is ludicrous. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I like turtles.

Coming to you once again from the Riverhouse studio on the banks of the mighty Columbia, where, my goodness gracious...

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

An absolutely beautiful Tuesday morning out here, looking out on the river, watching the boats go by, and playing a very dangerous game right now. Call Kenny Loggins, because you're in the danger zone. The dangerous game of having a cup of coffee on this table. that I am broadcasting from. It's dangerous because I have a wild cat living in this house with me right now.

There is something about the soul of a cat.

And she likes nothing more than to jump up on this table and mess with things. So it's very possible this coffee will get knocked into the computer that I am using to broadcast to all of you. Her other favorite thing now appears to be peeing on my bed.

I'd be on the bathroom pee-peeing and he'd be standing right there pee-peeing.

Which she decided to do yesterday for some unknown reason. Anyway, enough about that. Here's something about this, episode 3710 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

That was the sound of the cat crawling across the keyboard and almost activating the wrong sound effect. This is what we want to talk about today on the show. Healthy Coke. Yes, mixing balsamic vinegar with bubble water. I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.

is all the rage on tiktok and i am not joking you it tastes just like a coke and you're gonna

think i'm insane we will talk about that plus many other things and emails and v-mails with this guy the longest running cobro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships his new name is targets targets walsh and he's joining me right now good morning my friend

good morning luke i think you would have been proud of me did you overhear any anything that was going on in my studio uh in the moments after our sound check but uh before i went to go grab my coffee did you hear what was happening in here i heard you mutter under your breath oh a spider that's all you heard well i first i don't mutter i proclaim things i'm a broadcast professional i want that to be a line in a Drake song i don't mutter mutter i proclaim um where's my damn bell Why didn't I bring my damn bell? You need a bell for each house, each studio. Yeah, but usually if I see a spider in the house, this was not a particularly big spider. I also don't know much about spiders, but it was like a little guy. It was a little hearty little spider, you know. It was like thick. It was a thick boy. And I guess usually if I see a spider in the past, I would just grab a piece of paper or like a tissue and just crumple it up and just kill the spider. If I have my portable vacuum, I might suck it into the portable vacuum and then temporarily make the vacuum kind of a terrarium for the spider until I assume it perishes. I'd stop thinking about it immediately, so I don't know what happens. But today, I grabbed a couple of envelopes off my desk. Actually, envelopes that contain vouchers to a Mariners game that I need to turn into tickets at some point. And I just ushered the spider out the door.

Good thing you pre-bought those Mariners tickets at Costco this year, because what a season.

I know. Well, I'll still go. I'm looking forward to it, but yeah, I saved the spider's life. I mean, I guess I didn't save the spider's life, because the spider's life was not in danger from anybody, but I guess me and a whim, but I escorted the spider out of my house, kept it alive, and I'm sure it's just tunneling its way back in right now with a little flashlight on its head. Do you feel like you're changing as a person?

Like, do you feel like you're becoming more gentle or more kind in your dotage? No.

Maybe it was just because you were on the line and I felt bad crumpled. I don't know. You're showing off for me by not killing the spider. It gave me something to talk about on the show. It would have been shitty if I just opened the microphone today and said, Hey, I killed a spider, Luke. No, I don't know. I don't know exactly why I did it in that moment. Maybe I just needed more time to wake up before we started the show. I have no idea. Maybe I need an activity. But that spider is alive right now. It's confused. It's probably perturbed. And I mean, it's experiencing houselessness. It's definitely it's experiencing that and definitely some trauma, I would say, after what I just put it through and trying to get it on the envelope and then it falling down and then me throwing out the throwing it out the little door here. But yeah, anyway, so that's it. I'm kind of a hero.

I mean, you know, yeah, I like to say that I have a I have a pretty strong if I can avoid killing something policy with the exception of flies. I don't feel a ton of sympathy for flies, but anything else, like certainly if I'm walking and there's a bug on the sidewalk, I step over the bug. If there's a spider, you know, in the house and I can escort it out, I will depend. I mean, but it also has to do with convenience. If it's going to take me even two minutes to, you know, help the spider out of the house versus just smushing it in a paper towel, I will sometimes just go with, you know, whatever is faster. but i generally try to not you know not kill things if i can help it well when we were in

denver you took some time i was it even was it kind of late at night i might have the timeline wrong on that but you um you spent some time really uh escorting a moth out of the airbnb we were staying in which i that struck me i was like oh man a moth i well if i have a vacuum i'm definitely vacuuming up a moth moths actually cause trouble right like genevieve used to have

moth problem in her closet was the worst uh i mean they are a danger to the um you know cable knit sweater industry uh but the reason is the moth that moth was almost like a butterfly like it had pretty big wings like i wouldn't kill a butterfly but i would kill a moth which is weird and and so i and i just happened to catch it and i realized oh it's not smushed yet i'm just gonna take it outside and give it a toss when i was a kid though i was told that if you touch the wings of a moth it can't fly anymore did you ever hear that rumor no i didn't but you were talking about

tent material yesterday and it reminded me of the of the adage growing up that you if you touch the inside of a tent while it's raining yes create a leak in the tent i never got clarity on that what's going on with that sorry that's a totally different topic but i know we absolutely had that

tent though you did i don't know oh yeah we had an old really heavy really musty like army surplus tent like this tent probably saw a tour of duty in korea or something and then my dad went to the army navy surplus store and did you ever go to one of those when you were a kid oh yeah i'll still

pop in one of those if i see one there was one in la gosh was that on fairfax there's one in la that i would pop in every now and then um the yeah there's something about them i think maybe i was you know maybe they represented something fun to me when i was in boy scouts hey let's go in and get a canteen or or what have you and i still when i see a folding shovel oh god i had a full i had the most badass folding shovel when i was a kid man a little green guy i was obsessed with those

folding shovels but honestly they were really shitty it was tough as a shovel yeah and since i wasn't you know bivvying since i wasn't bivwacking you know behind enemy lines or emony lines i didn't really need the shovel to fold i mean the idea of the shovel full my everything comes back to jiggle jiggle and folding now on this show the reason my I presume the shovel needed to fold so you could slip it in your in your backpack and then you could carry it to wherever you were going to dig that trench and then hide from the enemy or whatever right that was the

folding component I'm assuming yeah easier to carry sure but I remember mine like the mechanism I mean with my with my small childlike hands it was hard to activate the spring mechanism that would unlock the shovel and allow me to to uh unfold it if that makes sense right right but

i'm just saying like it was a fun thing to have as a kid but you were not going anywhere with the shovel the folding aspect of it was totally irrelevant it was just cool because it was like army green and it made me feel like gi joe yeah i mean i grew up in the country so i felt like

there was more scurrying around and digging and making forts and i know that like digging a hole and making a fort isn't exactly the same thing. I do feel like maybe I got a little bit more use out of my folding shovel, like maybe taking it to Tim's through the woods or what have you. But would you fold it and put it in your rucksack? I folded it and unfolded it a lot. I don't think I had a rucksack, though. I don't think I had a whole rig. I mean, I dig what you're saying, but it was just like anything when you're a kid. It was just kind of a fun thing to have. I did love that thing. I forgot about it.

yeah no we absolutely had the kind of tent that if it would start raining uh you would like my dad would be like do not touch the sides of the tent and i said this yesterday because we were talking about i was talking about i still don't know what the name of that technology is i looked it up once actually the the sort of way that all the aluminum poles for tents now stay permanently connected to each other because of uh you know that whatever elastic or nylon kind of rubber band running through them but like i was mentioning how we were always setting up our 10 at like two in the morning it was just miserable we would always get a late start from wherever we were or wherever we were heading for camping so the plan was always we're gonna leave at 9 a.m and then my mom would disappear uh until about 5 p.m ostensibly to go buy orange juice or something but i think it was just that it was overwhelming trying to pack up seven kids for a two-week camping trip so she would conveniently disappear and then uh and then we would finally leave at about six and then would mean meaning we would arrive at the campsite at about 11 and then we'd start setting up camp in the dark and this was the least consumer friendly uh you know camping equipment of all time i mean this stuff was just like everything weighed a thousand pounds again there was all these poles and we could never find the right you know steak and then i'm trying to like as a little kid like pound a steak into some like hard dirt at the campsite it was like miserable and it sort of has affected my whole perception of camping to this day like i mean i i have all the modern gear and i i sort of enjoy camping but i don't enjoy camping the way a lot of people do like people particularly in the northwest people are so into it and i still on some level identify it with being a kid and being cold and wet and miserable and trying to

set up an army tent yeah i'm i mean i don't know for sure i'm only 45 i think yeah 45 um so i shouldn't say never and if genevieve overhears me saying this she would do what she most likely is i'm sure would bump her out but like i like to think i've gone camping for the last time in my life like i have i have no desire to camp like camp offers me nothing i mean camping offers me nothing camp offers me a lot um but camp one do we go i like i mean listen i'm not saying you know i like going on little day hikes with genevieve or what have you i'm not saying that i don't appreciate at all the beauty of nature or of being outdoors but like the idea of sleeping in a tent like i'd like to think that i've slept in my last tent like that just oh god i do not i remember one time this is years and years and years ago we went on a little quote-unquote camping thing but we were staying in a yurt with like a several other couples and um you know yurts are pretty that's a pretty soft way to go camping you know what i mean you're you're indoors essentially and i remember it just rained the whole weekend and i was just like miserable i'm just like why am i in a yurt like i should be in a shower this whole time i should just be in a nice warm shower i think it's the the lack of showering that really lives in my head too okay that would make sense yeah because

yesterday when i was trying to mention now i'm looking up i'm still trying to figure out what the name for that particular kind of tentpole is i'm getting nowhere with it but i um yesterday when i mentioned it and you were unfamiliar with the technology which again is if you've if you've been camping in the last few years it would be pretty likely that you would have come across it i was like this is i'm not talking to a guy who camps a lot no i don't camp i don't camp at all

i have no desire to camp like me you know sometimes you will talk on the show i feel like this has come up kind of recently like you kind of in some ways in some aspects of your life you wish you were kind of a different person or had different tastes like oh in all ways yeah would it come up in literally every way i don't know it was i don't know maybe you were saying like you wish you were the type of person who could just sit there and not look on your phone or i can't remember what and um i remember when you were talking about that me thinking like yeah i'm the type i wish i was more into magazines like i have a subscription to harper's magazine Right. And it just and I was so excited when I got it like six, eight months ago. And now I'm just surrounded by these magazines that I've read the tiniest, tiniest bit of. And I keep thinking, like, now would be a good time. Take that magazine outside and read it. But then I just get distracted by something shiny and digital and I don't do it. Well, that is something that I feel I wish I were more like that guy who reads magazines. I have no desire to be that guy who goes camping like and I understand, like, there's a lot of people who love it. There's a lot to love if you're that person, but I'm not that person and there's not a lot of upshot in me trying to be that person if I'm not, you know.

See, that's the difference between you and you and I is that I have all these ways that I aspire to be different and I constantly do things to try to get there. And I never get there, by the way. It's never successful. But I feel like you are more just kind of like, yeah, this is who I am for better or for worse. And you're OK with that or you're not OK with it, but you're certainly not going to launch on.

totally unsuccessful attempt to radically change who you are yeah and you know there's an argument

there's an argument to be made that it the the beauty of life is somewhere in the middle of these two approaches right like i don't want to shut myself off to all new experiences i don't think i have done that um but there are certain experiences that i say no that's not for me or that won't be for me and i'm totally fine putting boundaries around that um but if you're never willing to do anything to change or grow i assume that that's not a that's not a great way to go through life either right shock cord andrew oh is that what it's called you know what i kind of when you were describing that i don't know if this is a this this might not be a terrible analogy i'll let you tell me either way it's a useless analogy and i don't need to extend the show with this but since i keep thinking it every time you describe it you're kind of assembling tent poles or some or poles for camping equipment where they're kind of tethered together with an internal cable of some sort. I keep picturing myself assembling these lamps around the house. I have a bunch of standing lamps. I mean, we have three or four of them throughout our lives. We've had many where to disassemble them, you kind of unscrew the the stand. So it's like a one long pole with light bulbs coming off it or what have you. But when you unscrew the stand, it keeps the power cord going through the center. So you can never totally take it apart It's still sort of accidentally tethered by the power cord Is it something similar to that? It's exactly that

Except the thing in the middle is called a shock cord And like I said It's super convenient Because you can take everything down to a much more compact size But you don't have to Fit it all together later And try to figure out what goes with what And again, I feel like it's made It's radically Changed the camping experience At least for somebody like me Speaking of radical transformations, Andrew, of course, I'm up here at this little house cabin thing that I purchased a while ago, and I've been working on it the last couple of days, and I have figured out the thing that sort of motivates me to actually do projects that are unfun, and it is time-lapse video, my friend, time-lapse video. I sent you and Chris Hayes one of these the other day of me trying to take down this fireplace, which, by the way, I talked to the contractor yesterday. I'm going to stop that project because if I take too much of the fireplace away, the chimney will collapse.

Ah, that's interesting to know. It's a load-bearing fireplace.

It turns out that the fireplace is the thing the chimney is sitting on top of. Yeah, that makes sense. And so that's kind of an issue. I mean, I wasn't actually going to try to take the—it's sort of hard to explain, but basically um we may go off the air by the way because the cat is now walking on my mix pre but i have so many things to say about this cat by the way i feel like i know it's annoying here's what i'm turning into remind me to come back to time lapse video what i'm turning into now is like one of those kind of annoying parents who like is just letting their kid run a moke but they're not really doing anything about it and and you know every all the other parents at the whatever the park are kind of like can you get your kid under control i feel like a bad cat parent right now because i have this sense that the cat i need to i'm not going to do it but i feel like i need to get the cat a um a buddy because i can only play with the cat so many hours a day and particularly here where i'm doing this project like i don't want to have her where i'm like swinging a sledgehammer or taking down ceiling tiles um so i have to put her up in the upstairs of the house for a significant portion of the day also she can't be outside with me because as we learned yesterday she tries to run into the um the prairie grass and and and get eaten by a coyote so like the big draw of this house is that it has a really nice view of the sunset so the last couple nights i sit out there i listen to my paul simon uh saint judy's comet radio station on spotify and i look at the sunset well she can't be out there with me for that so i feel like i'm leaving her in this house more or less alone for more of the time than i want to and so now I'm trying to make up for it by like letting her hang out I'm doing a laser pointer for her this whole time by the way this is the the strategy for trying to keep her somewhat distracted um are you still there she ran into the power yeah I'm here yeah so anyway she so I know this is annoying that I'm so distracted with this cat but I feel like if I just go put her back upstairs that feels like I'm being a bad cat parent if I just sequester her again she'll just go to sleep i mean i don't know what do you think about that like what how how much should i be entertaining this cat during a given day like is it okay to let her spend some alone time or is that

bad cat parenting i have never had a cat that i've had to worry about their activity as much as you do and i don't know if that made me a bad cat parent or it was just a personality of the cats Thank you. Now, keep in mind, Professor Bananas, whom we have now always had Theodore Murray, the older cat to play with or what have you. So there was that companionship when Theo was a little kitten, though, not when he was a little kid, when he was a little kitten, you know, I had a day job. I would I would leave him in my apartment for, you know, eight to ten hours or, you know, back then, maybe even go out to dinner and drinks with coworkers. So, you know, I would have no problem leaving him for very long times in the apartment. But he had the run of the whole apartment I guess your concern here is Putting her in just a single room And maybe having her kind of get bored

Well, I mean, I put her upstairs She has her run of the upstairs Which is technically three bedrooms Although they're tiny I don't think she notices, by the way Yeah, that's fine Sometimes she'll walk into a room And she'll go, they're calling this a room? There's no closet Are you serious? Wow, okay, Red Finn Let's take out this wall Yeah, oh, believe you me Well, anyway, maybe at the break I'll put her upstairs Although the other thing is If I put her upstairs She will just the door to the stairs is behind me. She will just stand at that door meowing, which will be a different sonic adventure for the listeners.

Well, let me tell you this. This is the other important part of this. As far as you playing with her during the show and keeping her, you know, entertained, whatever distraction you're feeling, I am not feeling it down the line and I doubt the listeners are. So, like, you're living it so you might feel distracted, but I don't think it's coming out in the show. I mean, your stories are about as good as they ever are. Shock cord, Andrew. It's called a shock cord. So, like, when you have a lamp and, like, you take apart the lamp and there's a cord in the middle of it, I'll cut all of this out. But, no, for real, you don't, like, if you are happy and if the cat is happy and you guys are having fun doing the podcast, you can just sort of chat and have her, like, chase a red dot. Like, that's no skin off our nose.

Okay, thank you for that. That actually really helps me because when I'm at my my little apartment in Portland, I work from a standing desk and she can't get up to, you know, where the computer and stuff is. But here at this little house, as I'm calling the River House Studio, I'm working off of a like an outdoor kind of small round like picnic table I bought at Target. And she can very much get on top of it and she very much wants to. And so what I'm doing is I have this laser pointer, and we have this little routine where I get her interested in it, and then I run it across the room, and I run it into this other room, and then up the wall. And then she jumps probably like three feet up the wall. She's a very, very athletic cat. She is. So anyway, that's what's going on here. And thank you for telling me that it's not – I don't sound completely distracted because I'm feeling a little distracted. But I wanted to talk to you about time lapse. So I sent you and Chris Hayes One of these videos of me trying to take down Part of that fireplace Oh the thing I was trying to say about that is I wasn't going to actually try to take out the part That was supporting the chimney The fireplace is on an angle So there's like chimney right Like everyone knows what that looks like But then they built this fireplace at a weird angle Like it's not It's not like it just is sort of in line With the chimney It's off by 90 degrees So that when you were in this living room i guess it was kind of considered a some kind of the centerpiece of the of the room although i i really don't like unnatural angles in a in a home andrew i'm very i'm a very 90 degree guy i could see that like you know like i i have had them in my homes before but i'm not a fan of those showers that fit into the you know into the corner of a bathroom you mean like the kind of the

airbnb that didn't have walls around it i don't know exactly what you're talking about with the

shower no sometimes when you have a small bathroom a bathroom that doesn't have a ton of room they'll put the shower in the corner so the shower is it's angled back in the corner in a way so that it i forget the term for it you know put the cat away no this is this is the most focus i've brought to the show

this is probably on me i i don't know that i've seen what you've seen this you have seen this

there's even a term for it um it's like neutra or something there's a there's a there's a term for a corner like you have walked into a bathroom and seen a shower that instead of being like basically a rectangle or in a bathtub or whatever it is just google corner shower okay and you'll see what i'm talking about and that that comes about because of course people are trying to deal with a lack of square footage or fit something in somewhere or like i've had houses where like for some reason they've built a room where like one side of the wall had to go had to make room for something so the wall is kind of going at an angle i like things to be right angles in in homes i don't know why it's like a feng shui thing for me it's like i feel more comfortable

with right angles in a home i see so it's rounded is is what i was missing so it has a right angle the shower does so it can stick in the corner but then the part that sticks out is not two more walls it's around it's rounded okay gotcha yeah right it's yeah exactly and so and so this fireplace is like the equivalent of that it's like in the corner of this living room but it's at it's not at a it's not a 90 degree angle it's like a whatever that i'm bad with geometry but it's it just feels unnatural to me i like things i like walls let's make the 90 degree

angles the 90 degree angles yes yes you need men sitting on those showers that's right are you gonna sit i was gonna i've never seen that movie i don't really know what the quote is porkies too

yes so i was trying to knock down the um the the the kind of brick part that constituted the outside of the fireplace but i had no intention of messing with the actual chimney because i mean i am gonna have that taken down but i'm gonna have that taken down by the professionals because that looks really hard and as the contractor explained yesterday my contractor Who I just refer to when I'm talking about him To Becca as Rick Steves Because he has strong Rick Steves energy Uh huh Rick Steves yesterday was telling me Oh yeah if you Accidentally undermine the integrity of the chimney It's just going to fall over and when it falls over It's going to just break right through the roof So I was like that seems like a bad outcome So I'm not doing that But I am videotaping Myself in time lapse doing any of these Projects so yesterday after we got done with the show And I had to do some other work i'm sitting here and i'm like i know the next thing that i need to do is take off all of this ceiling tile for some reason they tiled this living room uh the ceiling of it with these little like i don't know one foot by one foot squares and it looked really cheesy and it is not the not what i want to have happening in here but it's also kind of messy work there's like there's like dust in there and um it's you know it's a lot of holding my uh you know arms above my head which it turns out is almost impossible for me at this age like i have a hammer in one hand and a um like a pry bar that kind of flat pry bar in the other hand and i'm just going through and i'm like hammering the flat pry bar underneath the ceiling tiles and then prying them loose and after about the first 10 i go boy this is really tiring work and then i realize there are about i don't know a thousand more of these tiles to to uh to take down those pry bars are kind of heavy too well they get heavier as you go on that was the thing i was like oh this isn't so bad and then pretty soon i'm like uh cannot raise arms above head but what i what i do now to motivate myself or what i've been doing is i set up my phone uh like a you know like a video camera and i put it on time lapse and it is so satisfying to watch like to to i mean it took hours and then the phone melted it down condensed that down to 20 seconds tops and it is so satisfying to watch the ceiling tiles come down in hyper speed um that it actually motivates me to do the project because i'm like okay this sucks but when it's all done it's going to be so fun to sit and watch the video and see the progress and that is literally what motivated me yesterday to actually get off

my butt and do this project that i was kind of dreading um do you set up like how many photos per minute or whatever or does the phone just automatically you just put on time lapse and it

just does its thing i i i have just been putting it on time lapse maybe there's a more specific you know you can set it up kind of a thing that i'm just not aware of but it is i was because i was like the first time i did it i was like you know this is a four-hour project like how can my phone even save this much data but it's because it's taking like one picture every two minutes

yeah that's what's it yeah so you don't know kind of the rate at which it's kind of taking along because i've never messed around with that at all but that's interesting you could also like do like as if it's yeah if it's taking it at that rate you could do little easter eggs right like you could take off all your clothes for like two frames and then have it go by really quickly and then you know only you take it but only you know for sure i'm just saying that's what i would do with time lapse we're all artists in our own way yeah i did do a move where at some point uh i had

to pick the cat up and take her into a different room and i like walked her up to the camera and posed her but it's so the time lapse is so aggressive that you don't even see something like that i mean i guess maybe if i got lucky it would it would be in the frame that it decided to you know take a picture of but i was trying to send these videos to genevieve last night and uh because i was like you know well then you keep your clothes on what are you doing i was like genevieve is a is a home renovator and loves this kind of stuff but you know what i don't think i can send them to her because you guys are not on the apple system that might be

true i do notice that when you send i don't know if this is true for when i send apple people my videos but when you send me a video via text it tends to be really really compressed not just you but almost anybody who's using a an iphone the video tends to be really compressed and kind of tough to tough to see what's going on in there i mean i did get that one that you sent um of the fireplace i could tell what was going on but on my little phone it was kind of um you know i'm talking about a few weeks ago it was a little it was a little bit

tough to see the detail so that's so much for my theory then because i was trying to send these these videos and it said something like it wouldn't let me and i was assuming that was an an apple v android thing but obviously not because you're on the same kind of phone and you got that video but yeah i'm not kidding like i have to this is the way that my brain works i have to trick myself into doing things this goes back to like when i was well i mean when i was a little kid my move was i'd have to do my chores on a saturday morning and i hated doing my chores but i would visualize the moment after i'd gotten my allowance and i'd ridden my bike to jack in the box and i had gotten my jumbo jack and my fries and i as i've talked about on the show many many times i didn't have enough money for uh jumbo jack fries and a soda so i'd have to decide between soda and fries and i would usually go fries because i could at least i don't know maybe find some like orange juice in the house or something we didn't have anything that was an analog for fries in the house no but we we had something that was a slightly sufficient you know drink um but we didn't really have soda around either but anyway i would i would visualize sitting on my futon because my dad did some sign work for a futon company that went out of business and they paid him in futons i would visualize sitting on my futon in my totally clean bedroom eating my jumbo jack and the that image would be powerful enough to get me to do the thing that i didn't want to do and that is still to this day 40 years later how i motivate myself except now It's sitting in the yard, watching the sunset, re-watching my time-lapse video, taking the tiles down while drinking a Tito's and soda.

It's not, or you tell me if this is right, but it feels somewhat akin to the fitness watches and how that really motivated. People don't talk about it as much, but it was such a hot topic of conversation several years ago about people getting their steps in, right? it became very I'm still using a pedometer it's that um what what exactly is a pedometer isn't

that um something you put it's like a little page it's like a pager no it's it's just funny how rapidly the technology evolves because there was a period of time where it was like everyone was like I'm getting a pedometer so I can count my steps and you would wear it on your belt like

and I swear I somebody in my family had a bike version of that too I feel like in the 90s my dad had some sort of a maybe oh yeah those were big too like a garment or something something like that yeah um man I forgot about those but of course I mean it's obvious I mean David Sedaris wrote a I think a piece that was pretty popular about him getting his steps in and everybody would talk about their steps and that's sort of it doesn't seem to be as hot of a topic of conversation because it's not quite as new but I still think a lot of people probably including you Luke right like you probably are still tracking that stuff and gamifying it I sort of feel like gamifying things is a really great way to get stuff done right although in this case

it's almost it's not even like i'm gamifying it's like i'm rewardifying sure yeah i mean i guess the video there is there is a digital aspect to it but it's like i just there's something again there's just something that is so weirdly satisfying about watching i was piling these tiles up and then carrying them outside and they're just i i know that you've already i i sense you have a limited interest in this video but i'm gonna send it to you anyway because it's very satisfying to watch me stack the tiles up and then take them outside and then eventually i don't have a vacuum cleaner here so what i've been doing is when i am kind of done with all the work and there'll just be a bunch of debris on the floor i'm all i have is a shovel like that the previous owners of the home left in the garage like a snow shovel type of deal so i just shovel up the carpet like i shovel all the debris off and then i go over the carpet with a fine tooth shovel then i go i go like the the carpet doesn't have any debris on it just has dust and i continue to run the shovel over it and get it kind of clean and that's also very satisfying to just like get it all kind of handled that way that that's the other the other leap forward for me in terms of my relationship with this little house that i'm in when i first came up here and i was launching into this project I thought, I'm just going to turn this house into a rage room. I'm just going to bash everything. It's just going to be complete dust and chaos. It's going to just be like, and that's going to be part of the fun of it. I'm taking this carpet out later, so I can just totally thrash it. I don't have to be careful with anything in this house. And then I realized, no, I'm also kind of living here, and that really sucks. I was going to ask. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like maybe your upstairs is more your living space. Am I getting that right? Yeah, but the upstairs is weird. The upstairs was like an attic and they decided to try To make it into rooms and so

it's very uh being john i keep thinking i'm gonna accidentally enter john malkovich it's real seventh and a half floor vibes up there so um so yeah what i realized yesterday was no i need to make this rage house into a rage home like because i was like i was it was weird i had this mindset of like aggressively not making this place livable part of it is because i own i'm just tired of buying shit for houses like i outfitted an entire house in bellingham and i don't have most of that stuff and then i outfitted an entire apartment in portland and it's just like i don't really want to buy another dish towel like i feel like i have purchased the maximum number of copies of things i want to buy for the home environment in my life

okay this isn't progress luke burbank just said i'm tired of buying things for my home like that's all that gave you life for a while there that's amazing well the therapy works yeah

no but like you know what i mean and also yeah i mean really it is just like there's something kind of soul crushing about buying your i don't know the little things it sounds like yeah yeah and also it's like i i don't want to buy i don't want to just buy target crap i want to buy when this place is all done and kind of nice and livable then maybe i want to get you know the home the home furnishings uh the home goods as it were that i really want to have but in the meantime it's like also with inflation holy moly every like i'm not kidding everything is expensive now yeah and so i'm walking around and i am not a person who is good at at budgeting or you know kind of tracking what you know relatively inexpensive things cost but i'm just walking around that target going holy they're charging what for a bathroom garbage can yeah it is

interesting i've never i've never really lived through anything like this before

but i basically also this house has one bathroom and it's it's kind of lousy like and that was that was also part of i guess the bathroom here reminded me of the bathroom my dad had at his shop his sign shop in seattle which was really just where hope goes to die it was like three or four dudes some of them you know really on the margins like these kind of rando guys that would come work for my dad it's like three or four guys with terrible eating habits using the same tiny windowless bathroom no one ever cleaning it like gritty so you have some of the gritty soap in there yeah i'd have some gojo in there and a couple copies of sign maker magazine and a book

of matches like that was the vibe and that's like the vibe of magazine every every profession has a

magazine and i love it i want everyone they had at the back of sign maker magazine you could send in your projects you know so like a particularly interesting sign and i was always like dad you

gotta send something in you gotta make the big time no that's not your dad though he's not doing

it for the gram not walt yeah it's he is not about the gram which is it's pretty funny because even as a kid i was like dad we could i was the kid that was like writing into highlights for kids you know like sending in my drawings and like obsessed with trying to get you know printed or somehow you know get some cred in one of these magazines and my dad was just like not about that but yeah so the bathroom here had strong signworks circa 1984 vibes and again i was just kind of leaning into that i was like this bathroom is gross i'm gonna at some point redo it i don't want to invest any energy in in making it less gross and then i just had an epiphany yesterday which was like that's no way to live and so i bought i actually bought you know some like cleaners cleaning products and a bunch of paper towels and like i did i bought two dish towels and i got hand soap and i basically just got the stuff that i need for this house to be and i went in the bathroom and i cleaned it and i'm telling you andrew it feels so much better yeah yeah i believe like i i thought there was going to be some freedom and just like the total cruddiness of this place but there's a different freedom in not gagging when you walk into the bathroom i'm enjoying that freedom today this is a very similar thing now you've been to my house

and so you might protest a little bit my description here but for for whatever it's worth this was my journey when we moved in here um it wasn't until we kind of officially had this house that um that like the keys to the house that i kind of realized just how kind of crummy the downstairs bathroom was the bathroom that is and was going to be my um my mainly my bathroom here so my uh my studio is here in the basement and there's a bathroom um and as you said when you were over here basement bathrooms are judged on a different scale on a different uh bell curve or whatever on a different curve um but like i remember there's just like sort of a shitty pressed board sort of vanity that the sink is on right that has three drawers in it and i pulled out the drawers, the first day we had the keys and it was clear that like i don't know i don't even know how you would put together how you would assemble a mass-produced vanity set of drawers so poorly like they must have used tracks like the the roller tracks for the drawers from some other vanity maybe they got this at a at a surplus or not a surplus store but like a junk store or something i don't know because like the drawers just sort of wobble like everything is just sort of broken there's paint splattered all over the place like there's would you say they jiggle jiggle oh my god they they practically fold um and it's just they do fold under the weight of anything you put in them and it's just like i it's just like this three these three components right this light fixture up top which is a piece of garbage light bulbs are almost like almost popping out of it like a cartoon eye popping out of a cartoon character's head sort of splattered with paint below that is like a really crappy old um medicine cabinet that again is kind of like it's the kind that was in probably my very first apartment that i rented only this one is totally trash not totally trash but just old and gross and grotty just again press board and it's just been there forever and again i'm almost wondering if they installed this stuff like i don't know it just seems so unlivable in a certain way and when we first moved in here i said you know early on project is going to be and it's going to be a big project but it's going to be ripping all this stuff out that we're going to put in a mirror we're gonna get rid of the uh medicine cabinet rip out the sink in this shitty ass vanity and rip out that terrible light fixture and we've bought the vanity we've bought the the light fixture now but all of that is to say my original plan was to not use this bathroom at all until we got that project done and i think it's very similar to what you're talking about like for whatever reason in my head and again other people have told me it's not that bad it's just

like it's kind of it's kind of grotty it was way less bad than based on your description i thought it was going to be again sign works and it was not yeah it was more like fast signs it's not

stinky or anything but it's just like it's just not great it's actually a lot of space it's a weird it's actually too much space for a bathroom but anyway but i was just like in this meant and also like there are stains on the bottom of the tub which i i don't think they're like they don't invoke anything terrible happening there you don't have some sort of human related stains but it's probably because whoever a couple teeth exactly no you know what it looks like is some jack hole who is doing these terrible renovations probably dumped their chemicals down the tub you know what i mean like paint or something and so the tub is all discolored in one part and like i was like i'm not using this thing until we get all these things remedied like this feels this makes me feel bad i'm just gonna not use this as my bathroom shower so that lasted a couple of days and i was using genevieve's upstairs um and then eventually i was just like you know it'd just be convenient for me to use it and you know first of all i'm practically i i don't think i yeah i'm i can barely see with my glasses off i was wondering there i i'm i wonder if by the time i shuffle off this mortal coil if i'll end up getting a a like almost legally blind um designation because like with my glasses off like i could never drive a car like i could never do and i mean i am i can't see shit without my glasses on and um you know if you're taking a shower then suddenly like the the grottiness around you sort of disappears a little bit like for real um and so and now i've been using the the bathroom actually it's got a it's for all of its faults it's got a pretty good um kind of fixture like the this you know like the actual what's the word i'm looking for the faucet uh in the shower you know the pressure is good it's kind of a nice um it's kind of a nice doohickey up there with a lot of choices so i actually really enjoy my shower taking experience down there now but for the longest time i was like no i'm not going to normalize this like i'm just going to keep this as shitty as possible so that we get on the project as soon as possible it sort of sounds like you have a similar relationship or

we're having a similar relationship very similar and actually it's funny because i think what i hate about this bathroom is really mostly just that it's not the finishes are not what i would ever do like it's not even actually i realized when i cleaned it it's not even gross i finally took a shower by the way in the shower the shower has great water pressure yeah and totally is functional like i was i was kind of doing i mean i was gonna have to use it because it's the only bathroom in this house but i was just thinking like yeah that bathroom is like i'm gonna i'm gonna demo that on day one or whatever because it's just so foul and unusable and then when i cleaned it and like i took a shower in there and i you know i bought a bath mat and things like that And then I got out of the shower yesterday after my dusty, dirty work, and I was just, like, in the bathroom, like, listening to Howard Stern on my portable speaker and, like, you know, drying off, and I was like, oh, this is actually fine. Yeah. And it also has to do with the bizarre relationship I have with the previous owner of this place, a person who I've never met, by the way.

but who i still get his nra mail coming here and i will be totally honest with you the fact that this is a person who is a member of the nra has really impacted how i perceive him um and so i had this whole thing about this house which was like oh man these people just were like because you were talking about whoever the jack hole was who did the work on your house you know most recently and like i know it's the same kind of thing where you're probably when you buy a house and and particularly if you buy a house and you're then kind of making some adjustments to it you develop this weird relationship with the idea of the people who owned it before you like why did they do this why did they not do that really this is how they were living like you just get this bizarre connection to them even though like in my case i've literally never met the dude i couldn't pick him up pick him out of a lineup i just see his name on his mail from the

nra and i throw it right in the trash um i was thinking about that deer yesterday that you said you you saw a deer or you keep seeing a deer maybe that lives on your property family that lives down down the hill they're probably so glad that a liberal cuck lives there now

dude there is a house that a kind of i don't know maybe a half a mile from here and i was driving on this windy road and i and i just i noticed that they have a blm bumper sticker and like a pride flag on their house and i literally wanted to drive up the driveway and go i see you i'm with you like like like we're behind enemy lines i've got a folding shovel let's dig a trench i'm not sure why it's from the surplus but but it does and uh we're in this together like i literally had the because i mean this is maga country out here i mean maybe not every person in fact i feel really i've talked about this already but like both of my neighbors have flag poles and my one neighbor is flying an american flag and i actually talked to him i don't know what his politics are i my guess is just that he's to the right of me but i don't actually know that for a fact and my other neighbor has a flagpole is not flying anything but man if i moved up here and one of my immediate neighbors was flying that you know don't tread on me or something that would also be really tough but i had this strong sense of wanting to go like team up with the one other lib out here yeah and be like we got this or at least we've got each other yeah

yeah we are very tribal as human beings i think yeah there's a little truck that is parked on my street i don't know i'm gonna say maybe five houses down but i pass it because it's the kind of the way i walk to the main dragon i pass and it's got a don't tread on me uh bumper sticker on it and um i always pass it and i always have a little argument with that person in my head about whether or not uh are you winning i am not and then the other day when you lose an argument when you lose an imaginary argument boy that one stings yeah that well that's on me that's on me but uh yeah and then i see him i saw him the other day like loading some stuff up in his truck and i and again i'm not saying this as in i am in the right here it is just like i i'm saying that i don't like this about myself and about just our our current situation in this country and just human beings i mean this is human nature at the end of the day but the fact that i've i've just painted him with a brush and i i have when i saw him i had a pretty big distaste in my mouth and i you know and i was like oh nobody's treading on you um but uh and also wondering how he votes when it comes to treading on other people's rights like i don't know maybe women's rights you know um and uh and anyway and god knows i have no idea what this person is like i have no no no idea what this person is like but i know they have a don't tread on me and a coug sticker on the back of

their truck and that tells me a lot well i the relationship that i have which again is is is sort of purely i guess theoretical or i don't know what the word is for it the relationship i have with the previous owner of this house has been evolving because when i when i bought the place i remember just thinking like why would you have this furniture in here and why would you do this and that and the other thing and like the the this person worked in the maritime industry i think they were in like a maybe a commercial fisherman or something oh a jerry and one of the well yeah exactly and one of the things that was in the real estate ad was the steering the the stern wheel goes or the steering wheel goes he had in the dining room this giant oversized like you know like basically the the steering wheel on a boat but kind of like the old timey kind that's like wood and big and you know you hold it by each you know these knobs or whatever and i remember thinking bro i you're in i promise you i'm not going to negotiate for the steering wheel that's in the dining room like you can just take that one of the houses we looked at sorry to cut off

your story but it's so funny that you describe this because i'll actually send you this photo later one of the houses we looked at and i i'm so confused i've already forgotten what we've placed bids on and what we didn't place bids on i don't think we bid on this one house but it was tempting i think it was very small but it was really it was very nice inside it was nicely appointed you know what i mean like you yeah nice kitchen and um it was well taken care of but uh it was a cute house from the outside and in the little um kind of area where the the right below the pitch of the roof i guess and that little triangle area was a one of those big fisherman you know wheels or what what did you call it stern wheel like i guess a stern wheel yeah big wooden uh you know boat wheel um and the other day i was passing that house and i don't know if i really just passed it since you know actually looking at it and touring it um and i see that it has new owners now clearly because not only is that wheel down from the roof or the the area below the roof but it was still there sitting leaning up against their garbage cans it was going to go out for trash the next day so i took a photo of it yeah to see because we were like well if we do buy this place that wheel is not staying up there that's for damn sure this guy wanted to

really want to take his wheel with him and he did which is fine but i think i had such again i keep going back to it but the nra component definitely made an impression on me and then just i just felt like this is a person i had written this whole story like this is a person who doesn't care about their home and i don't know why i did that but just because i felt like you know oh well one of the reasons is because there are two kind of large windows that look out on the river and one of the windows you know they're like they're like double paned you know gas windows where they put some kind of argon in the middle which is probably an insulation thing and maybe a uv thing but then if the seal gets cracked that it gets like you know foggy inside the window and there's just you there's it's the worst because you can't do anything about it it's not no amount of window washing well we'll take care of it and one of these windows which is like the whole cool thing about this house is this view of the river one of the windows is just totally fogged and i was like how are you just living this way like you know me like if day one of that i would have been like on the phone with marvin replacement windows or whatever um trying to get that thing fixed and uh and so i just had i sort of assumed that these people didn't really care about their living environment but as i've been going around the house like i went down to the basement to look for something on the breaker and every single thing is meticulously labeled oh and what i realized was this guy really loved his basement too which is weird because it's kind of a dank not not great basement but he had like a kind of a workshop down there and he's got all these different things and everything's labeled he left me like a bunch of you know like vice grips that are just like permanently installed in this workbench and i'm finding all these little things i made coffee this morning the stove actually works which i was not sure about that i'd never tried to use a stove before i'm weirdly uncovering these little things about this house that are indicating to me a life that people were living here that was actually more sort of more rich and more like engaged with their house than i sort of realized the story i had written was these were weird people who are in the nra and just like to trash their house and as i actually and have a shitty bathroom that's like my dad's sign works bathroom that was the narrative and then as i kind of live in this place and as i kind of walk around and look at the wallpaper and note little places where he wrote a note about like what this thing relates to and stuff i'm i'm realizing that it's actually was a very different scene and probably what they did was they sat near this window that i'm looking out that isn't foggy and looked at the river like you You know, they didn't do it exactly the way I would do it, but I don't think that they were just like the complete weirdos that I had sort of made them out to be in my mind.

Did you end up moving on those windows right away?

Oh, well, Andrew, if you want to talk about the intrinsic collection and the lead time on that, we're talking a good 20 weeks. like it takes it is impossible to not impossible but it is a very very very very long process of ordering replacement windows now but you have started the process or you've just looked i guess

what i'm getting at here is like i admire your you know i want to do this now i'm gonna hop on this now even if it even if financially it squeezes me a little bit because like in this house exactly what i thought would happen is sort of happening not that we we have stopped doing any projects but you know now especially now that the weather seems to have turned today happy first day of summer everybody and it sounds like the weather is going to be nice for a while like all i want to do is like go outside and not even do projects i just want to be outside doing small things like picking dandelion picking dandelions out of my lawn or puttering this or weeding that and like I have windows here in my basement that peep out onto the outside and I do think one of them might have that it has some it says something going on with it but not only that like it might have like that that fog inside that you're talking about but one of them doesn't have a curtain on it and all I need is a tension rod and a store-bought curtain that would fit this little half window right and I looked for a tension rod I don't know the first few days before we even moved in but like for some reason we didn't find the right ones at Lowe's like all I have to do is go online and buy a tension rod but like it just exhausts me to think about doing that now and I'm not doing it and now I just have a window that doesn't have a curtain which isn't really a big deal but it's just like it is my I I do revert to the mean if that is if that's the right way of putting it you know I mean if I don't act right away on something eventually it's like well this is how I live and I could literally see myself like six years from now finally getting a tension rod and putting a

curtain up yeah i believe you me andrew and you know me i would have replaced this window like day one it would have been like pulling down the statue of saddam like first first day that i land i am uh i'm i'm letting everyone know that there's a new regime in charge here but part of it for me is that I'm actually going to have this deck built. And so the window that is foggy is actually going to be replaced by a sliding glass door that's going to lead out to a deck. So it would make no sense for me to actually replace the window in the short term because it's going to get replaced with something else. But, oh my goodness, I am now becoming a world's expert on lead times on window products. We want to talk Marvin. You want to talk Millgard You want to talk panoramic Panoramic doors I was on the phone yesterday With every single place in America That manufactures a sliding glass door To see if I could get someone to mail me one Ship me one Not in October And you just can't I mean I could go to Lowe's and buy one But I'm trying to get Like a really large one Like a 12 foot sliding glass door And that is just and then the other thing is and this is so boring and in the weeds but and this is also well i don't actually i don't want to put this on you and say that because you do actually really care about aesthetics um you're you know you have your own kind of like style and things like that but would you wait my question to you is if you wanted to get a black sliding glass door it's vinyl but it's black it's called cap stock that's for some reason the name for the process of painting these Because, you know, that kind of typical white vinyl sliding glass door. So I can get a white one and it's huge. Like I said, it's like a 12 foot sliding glass door. I can get a white one in two months or I can wait four months for the black one. Would you wait the extra two months just to get the one that was black versus the one that was white?

You know, for the door, I can't go with you on the door thing because I kind of I don't know if I would care that much about a door or but I can see myself if something is important to me. And given the given the state of your house and the long term, like, I think I'm actually pretty good at saying, like, listen, we don't let's do this right. Like it's talking about my own house now, like, let's do this right. Like we we plan on being here the rest of our lives, hopefully, or the majority of the rest of our lives. So, like, the difference between two months and four months is going to be nothing when we look back at this waiting period. So let's do it right. Let's get the one that we want.

Yeah, that's a good point, actually. and you know what that's where my my personality of just wanting to like i really was sort of hoping that this moment could happen when it was still nice out where i'd have all this like you know these sliding glass doors would be installed and this deck would be set up and i would like you know walk out there and look at the river and you know have one of my little snapshot moments that i'm so fond of um and if i get the white ones i could maybe catch the end of september or something you know and like have that moment or i could wait and then you know it'd be like october or whatever it would be maybe even november and then i'll get the doors i actually want you know um but i'll have to wait and i will miss i will not get that special moment that i've been dreaming of until the next summer you know what i mean like i just have to actually demonstrate

some patience which is not so what are you what were you leaning towards before we started talking here my mentality of like well you're only going to do this one so do it right yeah i think that that is that's for these projects that's where we are so you know do it right yeah i mean i know

it's just like i said i'm just i'm so antsy i want to be you know i want to i want to have my little moment that i'm hoping for but in the long term and considering the expense and how long i plan to also be interacting with this physical environment or this house as it as it were it's worth waiting to get the right thing but it's one of those few times where

I can't I figured you know I'm Luke I can wheel and deal I can figure out I can find the person who's got you know some in stock or who can like it's weird when you buy one of these things so like this company that I'll probably end up using is called Milgard and I thought okay well the guy at the Milgard dealership or whatever he's telling me it's this time at this amount of time I'll just call Milgard and I'll just like I'll just say hey can you send them right to me and they'll be like yeah we have some right here we'll mail them out tomorrow but like you have to go through an authorized dealer yeah like they won't even let you like this is the these weird systems of like certain kinds of like home products where you can't you're not even allowed to i guess you also can't go to ford and buy a bronco directly from them i guess that's how car dealerships work but it's weird to find that in a an un what seems to me like an unrelated industry like i feel like i should just be able to call mill guard up and sweet talk someone and have them just ship me out some sliding glass doors but it's like totally not done like that so i spent yesterday on the phone trying to be my most charming and seeing if i could like hook it up and then just at the end of the day being like no there is no hooking this up yeah it is what it is everyone calls the same factory and orders the same thing and it takes the amount of time it takes i kind of don't want

to get into this because it's going to extend this we should go to a break but i'll try to say this as quickly as possible everybody you can everybody just hit fast forward on your on your device like two or three times and get get get into the break do listen to the commercial but skip this story but Luke as someone who's been listening doing an

ad for Milgar don't think I didn't offer to just plug the hell out of him on the

podcast I know that you and I hear somewhat different commercials during Mariners games because of the different ways we listen to the Mariners games but I think that you've mentioned that you've heard a lot of steel power equipment commercials yes T I H L I've always been fascinated by the steel camp radio campaigns because first of all for a long time their campaign was real people steal people and i know first of all it sounds like people are stealing people which just does not make sense and also i know i i would bet almost anything i almost bet my life that that original campaign was supposed to be real men are steel men um because they even like they they say men of steel right yeah and there's a men of steel um report when they're talking about the baseball players because it is men on the baseball field so but i bet you a million bucks somebody's like well that's not inclusive so let's make it people and it doesn't and first of all i think real men steal men i'm glad they didn't go with the gendered version of that i'm not saying that that's better but i do think that real people steal people is absurd i think i mean do you hear how that sounds um and then and if you go on twitter by the way other people have noticed because i almost tweeted at them one time and i was like uh people have already taken people have taken notice and let them know but you know what the old i mean

i'm because i'm from seattle you know what the old ad was real people human traffic oh really see

that one gets right at the heart of it that gets right at the heart of the of the issue and i appreciate the honesty in advertising there um but anyway so now they have other campaigns for father's day you pointed this one out on the text chain luke or maybe you just sent it to me just like they hit steal your father's heart this father's day steal your dad's heart this like that doesn't make sense either like that is just you're trying so hard to work when you're trying

to hit on your dad yeah but you're also stealing your dad's heart what is going on but all of that

is to say that's all just lead up okay you can if you're still trying to fast forward just hit fast forward one more time and i'll wrap this up um they have a campaign now um where they talk about how steel is only available at licensed dealerships or licensed stores and they're not at Lowe's or Home Depot like that's a selling point for them they're like you won't find it at Lowe's and Home Depot which I never understood why that's a selling point um I guess it's a way of saying you're not just going to find us in a box store I guess that's the point there we'll just go with that but then they have a commercial running that says why isn't steel power equipment sold in Lowe's and Home Depot, we'll give you 3,000 reasons why. That's right. We have 3,000 licensed dealerships. And I'm like, just because you have 3,000 licensed dealerships, that's not a reason why you're not. I still don't know why you're not at Lowe's or Home Depot. It still doesn't make sense to me. Their writing on all of this stuff is so bad.

My guess is that is a nod to their distributors. So if you're someone who's going to like pay whatever the franchise fee is to be an authorized steel dealership or you're going to like kick back, you know, the percentage of the profits or whatever that business relationship is. My guess is in order to – much like how I couldn't get a Milgard window from Milgard because they want to, like, route it through these dealerships, I'm sure that –

That is steel probably trying to make the people that are authorized dealer feel like it's worth their time and money to be an authorized dealer of steel. But I'm with you. Like they got, I mean, and it's someone's last name, obviously, right? It's S-T-I-H-L. Yeah, I'm sure. Bob Steel or whatever founded the company. And clearly someone was like, hey, you know what? It kind of sounds like steel. Like something made out of steel is strong. And it just got worked into the company that we're going to do everything we can from a marketing standpoint to play on that. And it is so unsuccessful. Like they really, they just went down a road with a bad idea and they're so committed to it. Yeah. And it's, it just is like, it really does just, it's the gift that keeps on giving because every ad is somehow worse than the one before it. Hey, you, stop stealing that person. I can't.

I'm a steal person. Okay.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, but before we get out of here, an email or a female, sir?

Yes. Actually, one thing that I'm seeing here in my audio that I should probably play for you at the very end of yesterday's show. I like to drop little Easter eggs at the very end of the show, right? And I had a file here. We were talking about Russell Wilson, and I had a drop here that said Kanye West and Russell Wilson mashup, poop, diddy, whoop, scoop, scoop, plus Mr. Unlimited. So I thought I knew pretty much what that was. It was going to be Kanye West saying poop, diddy, whoop, scoop, and then Russell Wilson saying Mr. Unlimited. But there was another word in there that I was not expecting that took us both by surprise at the end of yesterday's show.

Poop, diddy, whoop, scoop, unlimited diarrhea. Unlimited.

And I played that at the end of the show, and I even left in our reaction, like, where did the word diarrhea come from? And it really sounded like Russell Wilson was saying diarrhea. I could not understand if, I mean, I assume that was our unpaid producer who made that mashup and sent it to us. Yeah. But I was not, where did the diarrhea come from? I had no recollection of that. Now, said unnamed producer went to Twitter and explained it yesterday. Did you follow any of this? Do you now know where that unlimited diarrhea comes from?

I saw like I saw this tweet. I didn't click on the video, but it brought back a little bit of a memory, which was was Russell Wilson talking about a pet or something.

Yes. So Russell Wilson, of course, the unlimited thing. We've played that on the show like crazy. That was Russell Wilson's alter ego, I guess. And source of inspiration was the sort of idea of Mr. Unlimited. But then he never really followed up with it. I never even thought he mentioned Unlimited again, but he did. I don't know how long after that original video, but apparently he had come home from church to find out that one of his dogs had made a mess.

The time when you come home at the church and you realize that you knew Great Dane. We got three of them, right? So the little one, the little puppy, has pooped everywhere, all over his crate. I'd show you all, but I don't want to scare you. diarrhea poop gotta take a little man to the vet unlimited diarrhea so he really did say that

I have to say that's the best use of the Mr. Unlimited that's actually like first of all it means that the entire TBTL trivia night in Denver was a sham Andrew

I was about to bring that up

we have to go back to local 46 and restage the entire trivia night with the proper facts, because I believe I was asserting that Russell Wilson has never used the Mr. Unlimited persona again after his kind of rollout, but he did, and actually kind of funny. Kind of, yeah, although he's so bad

at these social media videos when it's just him talking to the phone. He just seems so deeply uncomfortable. I'll give him credit. He's a good quarterback. I mean, he's better than me certainly so i'll give him that um no but i mean obviously certain people are good at certain things but he's so bad at being relatable while talking into the phone i just wonder why he even tries but maybe maybe you know he enjoys it but like to me just watching him he just he just has these vibes that are just like so cringy um but anyway so that's where that came from um and now i want to play for you a real voicemail and then we can get out of here um this is from a listener whose name got cut off, but I'm sure they'll say it. I know they're calling from Tucson. It's Laura. Laura from Tucson, Arizona.

Hey, it's Laura in Tucson. Today's episode, you were talking about mistaking people.

were pregnant and essentially just not not commenting on people you think are pregnant so I wanted to share my most egregious experience with this so I was in my work I work with graduate students and I was in the mailroom of of our shared building one day and graduate student came to me and said oh you're pregnant no and he looks me up and down really thoughtfully and he goes oh you just had a baby and so that's why you still look pregnant no I have no children I'm not pregnant and there was a lot of confusion on his face and then you could just see it dawn on him just you know half a that kept too late what had just transpired um and uh he proceeded to just kind of back away like homer into the hedges um but uh i have to say it was more funny than anything um and at least it

gave me a story to tell that's i mean to double down on it that's shocking and to almost like

there's almost like a almost like well i'm the man i i know what's going on here like well you were pregnant then unlimited that's why i say i expect him to be like unlimited embarrassment

you almost expect the guy to be like no you are pregnant no you're you are pregnant you should go go see a doctor well actually a lot of women are pregnant and don't realize it yeah right exactly like mansplaining to the listener that they are in fact pregnant even though they might be the

one who would know that is so funny yeah he just said well you know a lot actually a lot of women are pregnant and don't know it um yeah so anyway that's why like i would uh like i was saying the other day like i could i could be visiting you in the hospital for the birth of your first child and i will not baby you could be crowning like the baby could be literally emerging from your

body and andrew is not going to say anything about it i'll have flowers that just say happy day Anyway. You'll just have a balloon that says, feel however you want on this day. So it's the least committal possible thing you could do. I would love the idea. I mean, I wouldn't love the idea, but it would be funny if, like, someone went into labor unexpectedly, Andrew, and you were there, but you refused to help them because that would involve admitting that they were somebody who was pregnant.

I don't know what's happening. I'm not sure. You look great. No, I won't. I won't comment on your looks at all.

Yes. All right. Well, I guess we're going to wrap things up there. But I have some great news for people. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more of this imaginary radio. And I will also, I guess, have an update on if I got to talk to Mr. Unlimited or not today.

Oh, right. You know, I thought that was an event last night. I meant to check in with you. No, of course. That's tonight.

That's actually today. Right. So I will see. I'm already kind of Ruing, I'm regretting the fact That I've now set up the dynamic where I have to try to get him To do a Mr. Unlimited video Because now it just feels Like pressure, like I'm already nervous I would not be nervous to be in a room with Russell Wilson But now that I have a mission I'm very nervous Yeah, I wouldn't have set myself up for that I'm also having a breakout, which is really great It's nice at 46 to still get active pimples Yeah So So my sebaceous glands are unlimited, Andrew. Unlimited. All right. It's just sebum. Sebum oil, my friend. That's all it is. Gets infected and then makes a pimple. All right. We'll see you tomorrow. Until then, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

okay goodbye say goodbye derek ah good bob i hope we same place again very now

his brain is wrong power out